Severus and I stood at the inside edge of the forest looking out over the school grounds. The sun had already set by the time we arrived back and we had, at this point, been avoiding our re-entry to the school for fifteen or so minutes. I lost count of how many 'goodbye kisses' we had had several minutes ago. I felt the rough texture of tree bark press into my back as Severus leaned into me during another kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him harder against me. I felt his hands slide over my hips. His fingers dimpled my skin as he held me tightly.
There was a rustle near us that pulled me from my passions.
"I really should go." I said, wiping saliva from my mouth. "Today was absolutely fantastic. Thank you."
He smiled. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll see you soon."
I stood on my tippy toes and left a small kiss on his cheek before I ran from the line of trees across the grounds. I reached stairs leading into the school and I turned back to look at the outline of the forest where I could barely make out the form of Severus moving across the grounds with his wide, sure stride.
I smiled and continued up the stairs and through the doors into the school. It was early enough in the evening that I wasn't forced to sneak through the halls with a fear of being caught. As I walked through the halls, conversations were cut off as their participants paused to watch me as I passed. By the third occurrence I began growing self-conscious and even a little afraid that perhaps someone had seen Severus and I, either this morning or possibly just a few minutes ago, rumors at Hogwarts always spread quickly.
I hastened my pace and was soon entering the Ravenclaw commonroom. I made my way through the gathered students but couldn't help but notice that the same lull fell over them. I dipped my head down so that my hair fell in front of my face and made a quick escape to the stairs leading to the dorms.
I slipped through the door to my room and shut the door quickly behind, my back pressed against it.
"Where have you…been?"
I scanned the room quickly with my eyes and noticed Susan sitting on my bed, the same expression on her face that I had been greeted with since my return.
"I was out." I said slightly annoyed that Susan was treating me the same as everyone else.
"…Are you feeling alright?" She asked, swinging her legs over the edge of my bed to face me.
"Is there a reason I shouldn't be feeling well?" I asked. "Maybe a reason that everyone is looking at me strangely?"
"Well, I mean…what?" She asked.
"Did you tell Mark about Severus and me?" I asked.
"Do you honestly not feel anything?" She asked. "You don't feel ill?"
"No…" I said. "Why?"
"You look…" She started to say and I turned to the side to face one of the mounted mirrors in the room.
"Oh. My. Goodness." I said, staring gape mouthed at my reflection. The pigment of my skin made my hair seem dull in comparison. I looked like a boiled lobster. I unzipped my sweatshirt and pulled down around my shoulders which matched the color of my face.
"So, where were you?" Susan asked, touching my shoulder with her finger. There was no pain but the skin momentarily changed to white before returning to the bright red.
I was struck temporarily dumb and it took a moment for me to verbally complete a thought.
"I'd heard the sun acted differently there." I said, it really didn't make sense, especially if you had no knowledge of where I had been.
"What?" She asked.
"I went south of the equator with Severus." I said, still shocked by my appearance.
"…Is that some sort of innuendo?" She questioned.
"No." I snarked. "He took me to Brazil. I didn't even consider…what am I going to do? I can't stay like this."
"Brazil?" She asked. "Why would he take you there?"
"I…was upset about something the other day and he wanted to make me feel better so he planned this surprise trip." I said careful not to mention I had seen she and Mark arguing.
I saw, in the reflection, her eyes moved sideways to the floor and the corners of her mouth turned down for a moment. "We should get you to Madam Pomfrey."
I turned around to face her and she reached to my hood and pulled it over my head and tightened the drawstrings. The fabric rubbed against my forehead and caused a slight tingling pain.
"I don't think we want people to look at you." She said as she pulled my armed and tugged me from the room. She did another once over as we stood outside the door and she pulled my hood closed even more so that I couldn't see.
"How am I going to find the hospital wing if I can't see." I asked.
"If you're blind then you can't see the looks you'll get." Susan said. "I'll make sure you don't run into anything…at least I'll try."
I tried to glare at her but the effect was lost from my hood wrapped head and she just laughed at me. I felt her hands on my shoulders leaving a slight lingering burn from the pressure and she began pushing me forward. I was apprehensive and leaned back against her, afraid that she would allow me to tumble down the stairs.
"Would you stop that?" She asked.
"Stop pushing." I said through gritted teeth. I pulled my hood open a small amount so that I could see a slightly obstructed view of the stairs.
I felt a sense of relief as I set my foot down at the bottom of the steps in the common room only to have that feeling crushed at the realization that I attended a school full of stairs and would have many more to go down before reaching the hospital wing. Though my hood covered most of my face I could still see people turning to look at me. Their gawking looks were met with snarky comments from Susan reminding them to mind their own business.
Once in the halls the sightings of students lessened and I opened my hood a bit more so that I could walk with Susan rather than being led by her. Though we were together the time was not spent much on conversation. It would seem that we both had other things on our minds, mine was trying to come up with a way I came to be this red without it being known I had spent the day in South America with the potions master and Susan's mind, no doubt, was circling with wedding plans.
I entered panic mode as Susan and I passed through the door leading to the hospital wing. The beds all in their rows, empty. I felt a bit better as Madam Pomfrey appeared to not be there at that time. My relief was short lived when she entered the room from the side stores cupboard.
"What brings you two here?" She asked, her eyes searching over Susan.
I pulled my hood down, my insides churning in nervousness at not having an excuse.
"What happened to you?" She asked, placing her fingertips on my cheek. They were slightly cold and felt good but I was still very aware that she was expecting an answer.
"I, er…" I said, looking over at Susan as if her face would bring an acceptable answer to my brain.
"Well?" Madam Pomfrey asked, pulling at my shirt to see how much the burn covered. "Was it a spell, a jinx? Speak girl."
Her unintentional suggestions gave me an idea. "A spell. Lumos Solem got a bit away from me."
She eyed me suspiciously. My heart leapt into my throat and held my breath. I relaxed a bit when she motioned for me to follow her as she turned around and re-entered the stores cupboard. In a moment she returned carrying a folded white sheet.
"Go behind that curtain," She said, gesturing to a privacy wall next to a bed. "And remove all clothing from the affected areas and cover up with this. I'll be there in a minute."
She handed me the sheet and I walked behind the curtain and removed all clothing from the top half of my body thankful I had decided to wear jeans. I wrapped the sheet around my bare torso leaving all burned areas exposed. I could see slight blistering on my shoulders and I cringed.
Susan remained on the other side of the curtain even after I shuffled to sit on the bed without pulling the sheet down to expose too much. I waited for a moment before Madam Pomfrey approached the curtain.
"Are you decent?" She asked through the fabric.
"Yes." I answered automatically clinging the fabric closer to my body.
She pulled open the curtain slightly and in her hand was a dark tinted glass jar.
"This stuff is the consistency of tar and just as sticky." She said as she unscrewed the lid. "I brought you something to tie your hair up with as it is nearly impossible to remove from clothing and hair no matter what you do which means that you will have to sit here until it absorbs completely into your skin, a few hours should do it."
She set the jar with the lid onto the bedside table and handed me a small elastic band for my hair which I used to tie up my hair while she slipped on a pair of gloves. She picked up the container and dipped her hand inside scraping out with her fingers, a vibrant blue paste.
She slathered the colorful goop on the side of my neck and spread it out over my left shoulder. I shivered with a pleasant cooling and tingling that followed application. It was relieving pain that I wasn't aware was present but now that it was dissipating I was unsure how I couldn't have noticed it. I relaxed as the cooling sensation spread with the paste until one of my senses was overcome with displeasure. I wrinkled my nose and looked for the source of the sour smell.
"Oh," Madam Pomfrey said noticing my face. "This does have quite a strong sulfurous stench as well."
The hours I would have to sit in the bed while this dissolved into my skin just lengthened with the knowledge that they would now be accompanied by the horrendous smell. All pleasurable sensation was gone as the only thing I could focus on was the smell that made my eyes water slightly.
Finally, Madam Pomfrey finished the application. The worst part of the whole thing was when she started to smear it over my face. I wasn't sure I would be able to make it through when she spread it over my lip.
She left the curtain slightly open and Susan took it as an invitation to finally enter and when she did she immediately grabbed her nose.
"Eck!" She shouted. "You smell like feet and rotten eggs."
"Thanks." I said as I attempted to cross my arms but thought that I probably shouldn't and placed them limply on my lap instead.
Susan took a seat in the chair next to my bed where she sat in silence.
"You're quiet." I said. "What are you thinking about?"
"How do you feel when you're with him?" She asked, not looking at me.
I wasn't sure what answer she was hoping for and I wasn't sure what exactly she meant. "Happy, I suppose. Well, I don't suppose. He makes me happy."
"Do you ever feel pressure to be perfect when you're with him?" She asked.
"It's a weird feeling." I said. "But it always feels as though I am perfect to him no matter what imperfect things I do or say. I feel the same about him."
"So he never makes you feel like…the way you exist sometimes is wrong?" She asked.
I shook my head. "What's with all of the questions? Is something wrong?"
"I'm beginning to think everything is." She said.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, my concern growing.
"The wedding." She said.
"Are we going to have to pick out another color scheme?" I asked with relief that she was only agonizing over wedding details.
Her bottom lip started to pout but she bit it back, though tears brimmed in her eyes. "No."
My heart leapt into my throat. "What's wrong?"
"I don't want to talk about it, not here." She said, her eyes flicking to the curtains.
"Are you afraid Madam Pomfrey is going to spread rumors about you around school?" I asked sarcastically.
"Anyone could be behind these curtains listening." She said.
"Then move them." I insisted. "I'm covered."
I gestured to the sheet wrapped around my body.
"It's fine." She said. "We'll talk later."
I sighed. "We're going to be here for hours. I am not going to sit here in silence with you while somethings weighs on your mind."
I rolled ungracefully from the bed, somewhat surprised that I was able to land on my feet, and made my way over to the curtain apparatus and moved it to a corner near the wall. I tried my hardest not to get any blue on anything but there were a few small finger smudges where I touched the curtains. I walked back to the bed. I hadn't contemplated how awkward it would be to sit back down. I couldn't roll this time without planting my face on the mattress first. I took a step back and ran through different ways of sitting down. I settled on a plan where I lifted my long sheet like a gown and lifted myself using only my legs. It worked but once I came to the point of sitting I realized I would land on the sheet and it would be pulled down revealing more than I needed anyone present to see. I remedied this by asking Susan to lift up the back of the sheet like a dress train while I sat and the remaining fabric bundled behind me. I sat down slightly breathless.
"Okay." I said. "What are you thinking?"
She took a deep breath as if to give her the courage to say what she wanted. "I don't think I'm in love with Mark anymore. Or even if I ever was."
This was not what I had been expecting and my breath was caught in my throat, effectively choking me. Madam Pomfrey emerged from the side room at the sounds of my gasping coughs.
"What is going on here?" She asked as she saw no one was in any serious danger. "What happened to your curtain?"
I cleared my throat before answering with a voice that sounded as though I had swallowed a substantial amount of nails. "What curtains?"
She stared at me for a moment before shaking her head and returning to the side room.
"We had a series of fights last night." She said. "That's why I wasn't back until late. I didn't want anyone to see me cry so I wandered around. I didn't want to be caught out of bed by Filch so I looked for a room to hide in and I found a strange room on the seventh floor I had never noticed before. It had only one large armchair, some pillows, and a blanket. I sat there and it was like the room was made for me to sit and think and the thought of breaking off the wedding really stuck in my head. It's all I could think about all day, that's why I wanted to know where you had been, I wanted to discuss it with you but I think I've made up my mind. You helped, just now, with what you said about how...he makes you feel."
"Is that really what you want?" I asked, I didn't much care for Mark at this point in time but I didn't want Susan to make any rash decisions that she might later regret.
She was silent for a stretch where she stared down as she fiddled with her fingers. "I think it is. Oh, what am I going to do?"
"I don't know." I said, completely unsure of how to direct her in a situation like this. "What do you think you should do?"
She thought for a moment. "I should send my parents an owl and tell them the wedding off. Then I'll have to see if I can get a refund from anything not provided from family…what am I going to do with my dress?"
"Anything else you need to do?" I asked.
She put her head in her hands. "I have about one hundred wrapped bundles of Jordan almonds at home. Where are those going to go?"
"That is a problem, but I was thinking about Mark." I said. "You should probably tell him the wedding is off."
She let out a groan of almost pain. "Do I have to?"
"Probably." I said. "He should probably know he's not getting married anymore."
"What if he gets angry with me?" She asked.
"I thought that's why you were calling off." I said. "You two fight constantly. If he gets angry with you won't that just solidify your choice?"
She sat, her eyes glued to the floor. "Could you do it for me?"
"Absolutely not." I said.
"Please?" She whined. "I would owe you one?"
"Not happening." I said.
"I didn't think you would." She said. "How do I break off a wedding?"
"Why are you asking me?" I asked. "I've never even had a boy tell me he loved me much less proposed marriage."
"You mean Se…he hasn't said that?" She asked.
I shook my head. "But to answer your question, I don't think there is a best way to cancel a wedding. You can use whatever pretty words you want, but the sentiment is still the same. If it were me, I think I would just say it. I would be straight forward and just say I don't want to marry you anymore, I'm sorry."
"But that's just so…blunt." She said.
"I don't think the blow will be softened by pretty words." I said. "You could always tell him something like you're not good for him, something about how there is a woman who will give him everything he wants but you can't be her. I don't know. You need to do it the way you think is best, I'm only saying what I would do."
She put her head in her hands, burying her finger tips in her hair. I looked down at my own hands. They were still a bright blue. I wondered if it would stain my skin that color and instead of having sunburn I would have to deal with classmates laughing at my tinted skin. I hoped intensely that the color would go away as it soaked into my skin.
"Can you come with me?" Susan asked, I turned my head and saw that she was looking at me again.
"I don't think that would be appropriate." I said. "It would look as though I put you up to it."
"You don't have to be by my side." She said. "You could hide around the corner or something. I'm afraid to go alone. I don't think I could bear the walk back by myself."
I looked at her pleading expression, I was beaten. "Alright. But I'm not helping you. My involvement stops at moral support. I will not be an active part of the break up."
She nodded her head.
I was relieved when we were finally able to move past talk of cancelling Susan's wedding and were able to talk normally.
An hour had passed since we entered the hospital wing and I was confident that the blue color was not as violent as it had been. Susan, however, maintained that it was just as vibrant as ever.
"Can you not even pretend to notice a difference in the color?" I said holding out an arm in front of her arms.
"Well, I must admit…" She said. "It does look a bit darker."
"Don't you dare say that!" I shouted as I recoiled my arm.
The sheets bound around me were now a bit smudged with blue from my movements. Madam Pomfrey checked on me only once as of yet. She asked if I felt any burning or stinging. She then told me to shout for her if I did because the ointment has been known to strip patients of their skin completely. Once she left I made a comment to Susan about how I would have liked to have known that bit of information upfront.
Hour two had come and gone. Susan was still with me but the conversation had found its way to classwork. I wished I could use this time to do something productive such as studying for N.E.W.T's but I didn't want to get the smelly blue tar currently covering my skin in my books or on any assignments.
Hour three brought on a lull in conversation. Susan sat next to me chewing absent mindedly on her bottom lip as I did what I could do in my state; nothing.
I heard footsteps nearing the entrance and I looked towards the door. Severus entered, visibly concentrated, hands occupied with several vials.
I immediately felt as though I was completely exposed and attempted to cover myself more thoroughly. He didn't appear to notice me and walked directly to the doorway of the side room.
"I have the potions you requested." He said.
"Wonderful." I heard Madam Pomfrey respond. "I can never seem to find enough time to make potions."
"If you need anything more," He said taking a step backwards. "Just ask."
He turned around and his eyes fell upon me. My heart stopped and I felt completely embarrassed by the way I looked. His eyes widened and he stopped just outside the doorway of the small room.
There was only a second he and I looked at each other in silence before he picked up walking again.
"Miss Winston." He greeted me with the slightest smile that I couldn't be sure it was actually there. "Why so blue?"
He didn't wait for an answer but continued walking until he disappeared around the corner of the doorway leading back into the school. It took a lot of effort to suppress a smile.
Madam Pomfrey appeared in the doorway Severus had been standing in moments before. "How are you feeling Miss Winston?"
I only nodded my head.