"I think tonight was a rousing success." Charlie said as we walked down the lamp lit street.

"I'm sorry." I apologized for the millionth time since my melt down.

"Don't be." He said, "I presented myself as charming, understanding, and, well, let's just say it, a hero and you are clearly deeply flawed. Success."

"Deeply flawed?" I questioned.

He stopped walking, reached out and caught my hand, tugging me back to face him. He pulled me close and looked into my eyes. His face was suddenly serious. "I'm joking. I need you to know that."

I nodded once and continued on my way back to my flat. He insisted on walking with me the entire way. He didn't want me to feel alone.

We walked in silence. My neighborhood was quiet so the only sounds were our shoes on the pavement. I turned a final corner and saw the front steps to my building. I wasn't sure if this was where I was supposed to say goodnight to him or if I was supposed to let him walk me to my own door.

"Um, do you want to come in?" I turned to ask. "Warm up a bit before going home?"

I tried to make the invite as casual and without connotation as possible.

My question was met with a nod and I unlocked the front door and he followed me inside. We walked silently through the hall and up two flights of stairs. I stopped in front of my door and fiddled with the lock until it opened. I stood in the open doorway, my back leaned against it. I had ruined our flow with my episode and now I felt insanely awkward around him.

"Ruby," He said gently as he reached for my hand and moved close to me in the doorway. "I enjoy spending time with you. I don't know what kind of pain you are dealing with and I will never ask it of you. I do need you to know that I am here if you ever feel you need to talk about it. I'm also here if you never want to talk about it. I'm here if you need a distraction, a calming voice, a subpar cup of tea. I'm just here."

I had been looking at the floor since he said my name. I chanced a look at his face. He was wearing his beautiful earnest face. He meant every word he said. He had been completely wonderful and handled everything perfectly even though I had no idea what I wanted. Once he had done something I had deemed it perfect. The silences, the words, the actions; perfect. I stared into his eyes and I could read his heart. It was good and pure.

The lump of tears returned to my throat. I was broken. He didn't deserve damaged goods. He deserved everything good and right. This man had opened up to me, shared his hardships with me. He knew nothing about me. Everything he did know was a lie. How would I ever be able to navigate this with him? How would I tell him what I really was, what I really did for a living, what broke me?

He was still watching me, his brow furrowed with concern. I desperately wanted to turn my brain off. I didn't want to think about anything anymore. Thinking was what was causing my pain. Thinking is what has always caused my pain. I thought I knew what I was doing, I thought I knew what was best for Severus, I thought I could trust Dumbledore to steer me in the right direction, I thought I could handle heartbreak. So many thoughts, so many mistakes. I didn't want to make any more mistakes. I didn't want to think anymore.

Charlie was so close to me. Hovering over me in the doorway, concern etched on his face, inches away from mine. He was waiting for me to do something, say something. The concern broke and was replaced with an unmistakable sadness, he nodded his head as though accepting a critique, the motion was jerky and rushed. He took a step back and wordlessly turned away.

My instincts screamed at me to stop him. Without thinking, my hand caught his wrist. I could feel the ticking of his watch under my palm again. Its clicks were so much slower than my heartbeat that the disconnect was frustrating. I pulled him hard, sending his body crashing into mine. The corner of the doorway pressed painfully into my back. I wrapped my arms around him and held tight. No longer thinking about details or lies or my past I allowed myself to feel. Feel how much I liked him, feel how much I wanted him to stay. I felt his arms wrap around my waist, gentle, always gentle.

"I want to tell you so much." I whispered against the lump in my throat, a few tears escaped. "I want to tell you everything, but I'm so afraid."

I felt his grip tighten around me. "Someday." was all he said.

"I feel so silly." I said, tears brimming. "This isn't second date behavior."

He pulled back from my grip and held me at arm's length. A radiant smile spread across his lips. "Like I said, you don't play by the same rules as everyone else."

I reached up with uninhibited speed and seized him around the back of the neck. I pulled his lips to mine. They were soft and warm. Our lips picked up a rhythm and began to dance around one another. He lifted his hand to cradle my jaw and his thumb caressed my cheek. I moved both of my hands to his lapels and pushed him through the doorway, our lips still connected. I kicked the door shut behind us and began pulling at his coat in an attempt to remove it. Our breathing was rapid and audible.

Light from the streetlamps outside was the only illumination as he moved his hands to take off his coat. I began to remove mine too. Once his coat was off he removed his suit jacket, both articles lay on the floor of my entry way. I put my hands on him, I could feel his muscles tensing without the layers of clothing between us. I could feel his hands as they explored my body, sending shockwaves wherever they touched. His hand cupped my breast and a moan escaped my lips. I pulled him closer.

A loud crack sounded from the kitchen and a light turned on.

An annoyed growl escaped my lips as I begrudgingly separated myself from Charlie. His head turned in the direction of the crack, he turned back towards me with confusion. I plopped down on the small table near my entry, breathing heavily. I think it was clear I was annoyed.

"Ruby," I heard Susan call from the kitchen. "Are you home yet? I'm bored."

Alarm surfaced on Charlie's face as he bent down to pick up the minimal pieces of clothing we were able to remove before we were interrupted. His hair was mussed, his shirt was untucked, and his tie was pulled loose. A pit deep below my stomach hungered to finish what we had started.

"I thought we had an understanding about boundaries!" I shouted in the direction of the kitchen.

"Oh, please," she scoffed, I could hear her footsteps approaching. "Like you're doing anythi…Oh!"

I could see her taking in the scene. I flipped on the switch for the entry light which had remained off. Her eyes went wide as she surveyed Charlie pulling his suit coat back on over his untucked shirt. Her eyes flicked over to where my coat lay on the floor and then over to me sitting on the entry table, my breathing still not normalized.

"Oh," She lifted her wand to apparate out of the uncomfortable situation, my heart jolted and I gave her a warning look.

My eyes flicked quickly over to Charlie, his look of confusion was back. Susan quickly hid her wand behind her back and let out a nervous laugh.

"I'm Susan." She choked out in introduction. "And you are very handsome, aren't you?"

Charlie's cheeks burned red as he ran his fingers nervously through his messy hair.

"The boundaries, Susan." I snapped. I had never before been so angry with her.

"I should go." Charlie said, gesturing to the door.

"No," I objected, "If anyone should go, it's Susan."

"But I…" she peeped.

"Goodbye, Susan." I chirped standing up and seizing her by the shoulders.

I guided her to the door which I then opened and shoved her out into the hall.

"Say hello to Henry for me." I said before shutting the door in her face.

I turned back to Charlie. He was just finishing tucking his shirt back in. I internally allowed myself to feel the disappointment that we were not going to be able to pick up where we left off.

"I'm so sorry." I apologized, "She and I have talked about her showing up here whenever she wants so many times. Her husband is even on my side."

"Does this happen a lot?" He asked, he was almost completely put back together.

"Not this." I said, gesturing between him and I. "But the intrusion does."

There was a loud crack in the hall.

"What was that?" He jumped at the noise.

"Hopefully her leg." I said automatically. "No, I'm sorry, that was mean. I don't know what that sound was, it happens every so often."

"Hmm, you should complain to your landlord, a few minutes ago it sounded like it came from somewhere in your flat." he suggested.

There was a moment of silence as I nodded my head.

"I should be going." he said.

I cursed Susan in my head. I was so unbelievably mad that she spoiled my evening. I wasn't sure if anything would actually happen, but I was having a good time doing what we were doing. I thought about the way his hands felt on my body. The hungry ache returned.

"Okay." I responded.

He took several steps closer until he was nearly pressed on top of me. My heart started beating rapidly. He crouched down and came back up with my coat in his hand. He handed it to me.

"Redo next Friday?" he asked, the look in his eyes radiated heat and his mouth curved into a knee weakening smile.

"Yes." I accepted his invitation immediately. "I promise to be on time and not cry."

He laughed gently and wrapped his arm around my waist, crushing my coat between us. "No more tears, alright? Whatever it is, it's not worth it."

He leaned in and pressed his lips gently to mine. I reached up, running my fingers through his hair and pulled him in harder. I heard him deeply inhale. He parted my lips and his tongue expertly caressed mine. A moan escaped the back of my throat and I moved my hands from his hair, down to his shoulders, and ran my fingertips over his chest. I felt his muscles tense again at my touch. My body yearned for so much more than just kissing. My hands ran over the buttons of his shirt. I hesitated for a second before loosening them.

A groan came from deep within him and he pulled suddenly away. His lips were swollen, his eyes were half lidded and filled with lust. My heart stopped and my body ached for him.

"Ruby," he said, his voice was rough and deep.

My insides burst into flame at the sound of my name on his tongue. I leaned into him again but he caught me softly around the shoulders.

"We can't." he said.

"I think we could." I said, the words rushing from my mouth before I could even consider them.

His lips curled into a grin. "I agree, but I don't think we should."

He was so much stronger than I was to be able to reason at a time like this and control himself. My self control was left out in the hall when I first pulled him in.

Suddenly, self doubt overpowered my feelings of desire. The lump returned to my throat but I was able to squeak out the words, "Don't you want me?"

He made a throaty laugh. "Of course I want you. You're making it very hard to be a respectable man, but I don't want you to make any decisions you might regret."

"I won't regret it." I reached my hands out and latched on to his hips.

He gently removed them and held onto them. "You've been dealing with a lot of emotions tonight. I don't want to think of our first night together and have it be connected to the night you ran from me crying. I really like you Ruby and I want to do this the correct way." I shrunk back and nodded my head with my eyes staring at the floor. "Besides," I looked back up at him. "It's only our second date. What kind of girl do you think I am?"

I laughed despite myself.

"There," he said, cradling my chin with his index finger and thumb, his eyes locked with mine. "That's better."

He leaned in and gave me a small peck on the cheek. His hand lingered on my chin as he pulled himself reluctantly away.

"Next Friday, outside your aunt's shop." he said, placing his hand on the door handle. "We are both going to be on time and neither of us is going to cry, deal?"

I nodded my head slowly.

He stood in the open doorway. His gaze set the fire in me again. His eyes cascading over every bit of me.

"God, you're beautiful." he moaned. "I don't think you'll ever know how hard I'm having to work to be able to leave you right now."

I think I definitely had an idea.

"Goodnight, Ruby." He spared another long glance before forcing himself into the hallway and closed the door behind him.

I ran to the door to look out the peephole. He took a few steps away from my door but he was still visible to me. He turned back to look at my door. He lifted his fingers to his lips, kissing them, and gestured his hand to my door, sending the kiss. He turned back and was gone from my view.

I turned around, pressed my back against the door, and slid down it all the way to the floor. My flat felt too quiet and completely empty. I felt more alone than I had in a long time and like Charlie had taken something of me with him.

It only took a moment before the empty feeling was replaced with a burning anger. I lifted myself off the floor and raced to my bag and dug around at its contents until I recognized the shape of my wand. I snatched it up and was gone with a loud crack.

My feet hit solid ground and I opened my eyes in Susan's sitting room. Henry was sitting in a chair reading The Daily Prophet.

"I've been expecting you." he said cooly. "She cracked in here a few moments ago and looked pretty shaken up. She must have really stepped out of bounds. Can you believe all the rubbish they put in this paper now?" He looked up at me. His hair was graying at the temples but he still looked so much like the Henry I trained at St. Mungo's with. "She'll be up stairs." he added and returned to reading the paper.

I almost started laughing at his nonchalance. His even temper and calm reception quelled some of the fire I had arrived with. I made my way upstairs and found Susan sitting in her bedroom.

"Please, don't kill me!" she shrieked. "I will never pop in again. He was really attractive though. I expect though that I did ruin the moment since you're here this quickly…or perhaps he just a…"

"Finish that sentence and I swear…" I interrupted. She closed her mouth and clamped it with her teeth. I sat on the bench at the end of her bed. "Damn it. I had a good speech for you and I was riled and heated and then your husband…I just don't have the heart to kill his wife anymore."

"I promise that I will call before popping over from now on." Susan swore. "Now that I know there is a possibility that you have a man over."

"What about for the sake of my own privacy?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No, only because I don't want to catch you in a compromising position…like I did tonight…" Her cheeks blushed as she appeared to be remembering what she walked in on.

"Nothing was happening." I insisted. "Just a bit of kissing."

"Right," Susan said, "Clothes often get thrown on the floor in entries and shirts untucked and hair messed up from 'a bit of kissing'."

"You're not helping your case." I warned.

"Sorry." There was a long moment of silence before she added, "So, I'm assuming you really like him?"

I considered it for a moment even though I knew the answer immediately. "He's sort of amazing. You should have seen how he handled the evening. I was having a melt down and he…"

"Don't tell me you cried in front of him already!" She jumped out of her seat. "Ruby!"

"I didn't mean to." I argued. "I left before I started crying but he followed after me. He was being so sweet and I thought about Severus and…"

"Ruby, no!" She cried. "I thought we were over this. I haven't heard that name in forever and I thought you were done with that."

"I don't think I'll ever be done." I sighed. "I loved him more than you can ever understand."

"I've been married to Henry for how long and you don't think I know what love is?" She demanded.

"I didn't say that. I'm just saying that you never understood my feelings for Severus. Anyways, Charlie was being sweet and he said nice things about me and it made me think about how wrong I had been to do what I did to Severus and how I didn't deserve someone as amazing as Charlie praising me the way he was. I tried to keep it together but I just couldn't."

"What did he say when you started to blubber?" she asked.

"Nothing." I said, shaking my head. "He held me tight in the middle of the pavement and didn't say a word. Later he told me that he wouldn't ever ask me about what I was going through that caused me to break down like that but that he would be there if I ever wanted to talk about it. He's so…even and understanding."

Susan swooned. "And you're still in love with a teacher you had a thing with for a few months fifteen years ago. Pathetic."

"What I had with Severus was never just 'a thing' and it really upsets me that you will never acknowledge that. I understand that you never liked him and that you will never understand but you also didn't know him like I did."

She groaned in disgust. "I surrender, Snape was…something. I just want you to promise that you are going to give this new guy a chance. He had a good looking butt in that suit!"

I rolled my eyes at her. "A butt you should never have seen because you shouldn't have been in my flat!"

"I can apologize but you will never make me sorry for catching a glimpse of that beautiful man."

"I'm telling your husband." I threatened.

"If I show him Charlie, he'd understand." she assured me.

"I do really think I like him." I submitted. "I'm seeing him again next Friday."

"Even after you were a blubbering mess?" she asked, incredulous.

"He made it a condition that neither of us was allowed to cry. I can't help but feel that that was mostly directed at me, though."

Susan laughed. "What would make you think that?"

I shrugged. "Just a gut feeling."

Susan and I continued chatting until my stomach growled, reminding me that I had eaten about half a meat pie and two forkfuls of mash all day. Susan made the suggestion of eating ice cream and bothering Henry in the sitting room. We ate our ice cream but as for bothering Henry, he kept us down with stories of how it seemed that things were headed back to where they were during our last years of school. The Prophet was leaving out important news stories and he said was skewing darker and darker with their allegiances. The only reason he was still reading it was to keep the enemy close.

Susan and I sat staring at him like we were back in lectures at Hogwarts. I had a strong urge to pass her a note.

"And Ruby," he added, turning his attention to me. "I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to be wandering around London with only a muggle for protection."

"I don't think I'd be a target." I argued.

"It's hard to know who a target would be," he countered. "You're a prominent figure at a place like St. Mungo's and you're muggle-born. That could be all it would take and your muggle would be dead before he even realized what was going on."

"He's not my muggle." I don't know why that was the part I decided to pick on. "Besides, I almost always have my wand with me."

"Almost?" he jumped to attention.

I shrugged, " I didn't have it the first time I went with him around the city."

"Are you not paying attention to what is happening around us?" he demanded. "People are going 'missing' at an alarming rate and you decide to walk around like nothing is happening. Do I need to chaperone you?"

"Calm down, Henry." I said. "I don't think I need my best friend's husband to join me on dates."

"I don't need you putting yourself in unnecessary danger, okay?" he sighed, "If something happens to you Susan would be miserable and by extension I would also be miserable, not to mention that during our time at St. Mungo's I also grew rather fond of you. Just promise you will always carry your wand and keep a watch out for anything out of place."

Susan let out a giggle and Henry flipped his attention to her. "I'm sorry, you sound like Mad-Eye when he was still an Auror."

Henry finished folding his paper, threw it on the table, and stood up from his chair. "I'm trying to be a voice of reason and you are acting like a child." He turned on his heel and disappeared upstairs.

Susan sighed, "Now I've upset him. I should go apologize." She got up and disappeared upstairs.

I felt awkward and decided that it was best if I just left. I lifted my wand and was gone with another loud crack.