I felt my knees give out but I didn't hit the floor. Instead Charlie's arm tightened around my waist and he slid me down onto the sofa.

Severus murdered Dumbledore? It didn't make sense. I must have heard incorrectly. He wouldn't do that, who would believe that he could do that? Severus has made mistakes but I couldn't believe he was capable of murder. He and Dumbledore were close, he trusted Dumbledore and Dumbledore believed in him when no one else did. He wouldn't rejoin the Death Eaters, there was no way.

"What?" was all I could get my brain to verbalise with all these thoughts whirring around my head like a tornado of disbelief.

"Snape brought his old friends into a school where they then murdered our old headmaster." Susan spat. "He put children in danger and he's chosen his side. Hell, he's probably chosen that side long ago. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if his little change of heart wasn't all fake. I never liked him, Ruby, and I never for one second trusted him or his motives. If I find him I swear, I will take him down myself."

The anger was flowing through Susan. I had never heard her speak like this and her tone was frightening.

"No," I shook my head. "He…he couldn't have done this."

"There were witnesses that saw him run!" she yelled. "You can't keep blindly defending him because you think you have some sort of feelings for him! He fooled you like he fooled Dumbledore, like he fooled everyone."

Charlie's head had whipped around when Susan had mentioned me having feelings for the person we were talking about. I could only imagine how confused he was. I would have to fill him in later but I had more important things to sort out right now.

"No!" I argued. "He didn't fool me. He is a good man. I don't know what the explanation could be but I am certain that there has to be one."

"Face it, Ruby." Susan said. "Snape is a bad person. He's a Death Eater and a murderer. You saw the mark on his arm when we were in school. He made up whatever story he needed to in order to gain the trust he sought for whatever game it was he was playing. We were just kids and you thought you could fix him. It's nothing to be embarrassed about but you have to stop making excuses for him."

I replayed interaction after interaction in my head. The look of fear in his eyes when I started bleeding out, the gentle manner he helped the unicorn, the tenderness of his kiss, I couldn't believe that Severus, my Severus could have murdered anyone. He wasn't a killer. What had he gotten himself mixed up in?

I shook my head.

"Who is Snape?" Charlie's voice reminded me of the fact that he was even there.

"An absolute monster, it turns out." Susan snapped before I could even open my mouth.

"Stop it, Susan!" I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to think and I didn't know what to do with the information I had been given. It was impossible for me to accept how things looked. Severus had never been an 'on the surface' kind of man. There had to be more. There just had to be. "You never liked him and you're inclined to believe any unkind thing anyone says about him."

"Who is Snape?" Charlie asked again, looking at me.

I bit my lip. "He was the one I told you about. The man I dated while I was still in school."

Charlie's eyebrows lifted.

"Oh, good," said Susan, "You know about him. Did Ruby tell you that he was our professor, or did she leave that bit out?"

My heart raced. I had left that piece out. Charlie's eyes flicked over to me filled with shock.

"She didn't mention that." Charlie whispered.

"I didn't think it was important." I said. "I knew of him when he was a student. It was his first year teaching."

"It's alright, Charlie." Susan soothed. "She lied to me about him for months, too."

"What's a Death Eater?" he asked, choosing not to dwell on my indiscretions with a teacher. I had a feeling we would be revisiting that bit later.

"Remember when I told you that some witches and wizards use magic for evil?" Charlie nodded his head. "The Death Eaters are the baddest of the bad. They kill muggles and wizards alike all in the name of Lord Vol…" I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of Severus joining them after everything he had been through. "Lord Voldemort."

Susan winced.

"Who is that?" Charlie questioned.

I spent several minutes explaining everything to Charlie in as simple a way as I possibly could. It was a lot to catch someone up on who had a limited understanding of the most basic parts of a big picture. Like explaining what a book was to someone who didn't even know what a letter was.

"And Ruby fell in love with a Death Eater." Susan interrupted. "Even after she already knew what he was."

Charlie looked shocked.

"It's not like that." I said, placing my hand on his knee. "It wasn't like he was trying to recruit me."

"Well," said Susan, "Considering that he apparently never stopped being a Death Eater, we can never know that for sure."

I put my head in my hands. Was he really always just waiting for Voldemort to come back in power? Was he just biding his time? Would Dumbledore really have been so easily fooled? Had I been so easily fooled? I felt a hand on my back, rubbing up and down in a comforting gesture. I tilted my head to the side, into Charlie's chest and he enveloped me in his arms. What must he think of me now?

"Thank you for the news, Susan." I said, feeling drained. "I'll talk to you tomorrow but I think you should go home now."

I could feel her staring at me and I felt the couch shift as she stood up.

"He's bad news, Ruby." she said. "Don't waste yourself worrying about him."

I heard a crack and she was gone.

There was a moment of silence in which the only sound was Charlie's heart beating against my ear. "I don't think I'll ever get used to that." he whispered.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling. Of everything that was happening, Charlie was concerned with the oddness of apparation.

The next morning at work, it seemed as though everyone had already heard about Dumbledore's death. Most people had also heard, and most believed, that Severus Snape had something to do with it. The more I heard it, the harder I had to dig within myself not to believe it. I liked to think that I knew Severus better than most, but did I? I was starting to think that maybe I had been fooled. Everyone else seemed so sure about their stance and most declared readily that they had never liked or trusted him. I pondered different bits of information I had been told and some that I had overheard. What was Severus doing? What really happened? What had he gotten himself involved in?

Charlie supported my request to postpone our Italian getaway so that I could attend the funeral with Susan, Henry, and their children. He was being very supportive through everything that was happening. We had been having nightly conversations about who everyone was, how they were involved, and what was happening.

"So, there are two factions of your world," Charlie summed up, "And one is currently having a resurgence?"

I nodded my head.

"Where is this all headed?" he asked.

I shrugged. I remembered everything that happened last time and how it all ended so abruptly, but the calm wasn't permanent and it was escalating rapidly. "War, probably."

"War?" Charlie gasped. "Real war?"

"I don't know how else it could be resolved." I said. "You-Know-Who is too well protected and hidden for any assassination attempts. How else would this play out? He's going to make his move to seize total control of the Wizarding World and inflict his will on everyone. There are those who would rather die than let that happen."

"Would you fight?" he asked, concern etched on his face.

"I'm a muggle-born." I shrugged. "I wouldn't be allowed to exist if he had his way. I think I would feel the need to fight back. I'm as good as dead either way."

I heard the words as they came from my mouth. I had never really considered it but I would probably be killed or at least imprisoned just for existing. My heart began thumping rapidly as I contemplated my own mortality.

"Dead?" Charlie echoed. There was a hollowness to his tone. "You can't really believe that."

I looked up at him. The look in his eyes pained me. I did believe it. It had already started happening. People were constantly going missing. He came into my life at the worst time possible and I felt sorry.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." I said, rubbing my temple with my fingers. Everything was so draining lately.

"You're safe." he said, pulling me into a strong hug. "I'm here."

You have no idea how fast you could be killed if you got in the way. I kept the thought to myself but the image of his lifeless body after a flash of green was already playing in my mind; his gorgeous blue eyes void of everything that made Charlie Charlie. I tightened my grip on him. He didn't need to even know that any of this was happening. He could be happy living a normal muggle life but a stupid witch had to take a fancy to him.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

He pulled out of the hug and held me at arms length studying my face. "What do you have to be sorry for?" He lifted his eyebrows inviting me to answer his question.

"For dragging you into all of this." I whispered, I had a feeling if I raised my voice to normal volume that I would cry. At least I could keep the tears at bay if I whispered.

"You didn't drag me into anything." his thumb gently traced the line of my jaw. "I love you and I will stay by your side for as long as you want me to. Sometimes scary, complicated, overwhelming things happen but we'll make it through, together. Let's go to bed. You look like you could use some sleep."

I tossed and turned, not able to get any kind of hold on sleep. I looked at Charlie, I could see his eyelids fluttering in his sleep. I got out of bed slowly, so as not to wake him. I picked my wand up silently from its place and I walked into my sitting room. I sat on the couch contemplating what I was about to do. I had to get some answers, I had to know if I had been wrong. I turned my wand over in my hands. I had heard that it was possible to apparate to a person if you knew them well enough and could picture them completely.

I thought of Severus. My heart was beating. I held tightly to my wand. I thought of the smell of his skin, the feel of his touch, the softness of his lips, his dark, intense eyes. I could picture him, smell him, taste him. I lifted my wand and I was gone with a crack.

My feet landed with a thud on a threadbare rug. A fire burned in a room where every wall was covered in bookshelves. The air was thick and stuffy. I had no idea where I was.

"What on Earth!?" I heard behind me. I spun quickly and saw Severus Snape sitting in an old, worn out armchair, an open book in his hand.

I let out a shriek and within a second he was up and his hand was on my mouth.

"Are you insane?" he asked me. "What are you doing here? Will you ever stop being reckless, Ruby?"

My name flowed from his tongue with ease. My heart beat hard once and my head began to swim.

"Is everything alright?" A voice called from somewhere nearby.

"If you disturb me again, Wormtail, I will make sure you will never be able to do so again." Severus shouted in no particular direction. A small yip sounded from behind a bookcase and I could hear someone scurry away.

"What are you doing here?" Severus asked. "How did you find me?" There was a small pause as he contemplated his next question. He looked exhausted. There were dark half circles under his eyes and his skin was waxy in the firelight. "Why did you find me?" He placed his hands on my shoulders.

"I had to know." I blurted.

His face was incredulous. "Do you have any idea of the danger you are in just by being here?"

Something clicked in my brain. "You said my name."

There was a slight pause as if I had just spoken in a foreign language and he was trying to translate what I had just said. "What?"

"You said Ruby. You called me Ruby." I said.

His hands dropped from my shoulders and he turned away from me to face the fire. "What made you come here?"

"You haven't called me Ruby since…" I broke off.

"Since before you wiped my memory." he finished in a whisper.

A gasp escaped me. "How do you know…?"

"I'm a skilled Legilimens, it didn't take me long to realise that my memories were incomplete and had been tampered with. It took even less time for me to break down the blocks you placed with your spell." he explained. "You didn't want me then, why find me now?"

The air was gone from my chest. He knew what I had done to him. It sounds like he had known for a while. I opened my mouth to argue that I never didn't want him but he held a finger up.

"Wormtail, if you are going to eavesdrop I will have to remove your ears!" A scurrying noise sounded on the other side of a bookcase. "Muffliato! It's not safe for you here." he whispered. "How did you even find me?"

"I thought about you and apparated." I shrugged.

His eyes went wide. "Do you realise how dangerous that is? Better wizards than you have splinched themselves and died trying to do that? Do you ever think about things before you do them?"

"They died and I didn't." I said, surprised by my own boldness. "Clearly, they were not better than I am." Something passed over his features for a quick moment. Was he impressed? It was there and gone too rapidly to correctly identify what it was. "Did you kill Dumbledore?" I spat out, finally.

What little colour there was in his face drained out at my question. Sadness swept over his features. His voice was barely audible. "Yes."

My heart stopped. "How could you? He was your friend, he trusted you."

Severus refused to look up at me. "I know, that's why I had to. Ruby, you have to leave. It's not safe here."

"Do you remember everything?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. "About us?"

He looked into my eyes. His dark depths were so familiar to me. It was like no time had passed, like nothing had changed, but everything had changed. He was a murderer.

"I remember everything." he whispered. "I wanted you more than I've ever wanted anything and you, you were apparently done with me and you tampered with my memories just to get away. And now you're here sixteen years later demanding to know if I killed Albus Dumbledore. Yes, I killed him, but Ruby," his voice was rigid. "There are reasons."

"What could possibly be a good enough reason to murder someone who gave you a second chance? A second chance you clearly didn't deserve."

He flinched as though I had struck him. "He was already dying. His death was slow and agonising. He asked me to do it. A student had been tasked with the…removal of Dumbledore and he didn't want that mark on a mere child, so he requested that I complete the task. It worked out well because getting Dumbledore out of the way has proven my loyalty which puts me in a perfect place for the next phase."

His dark eyes were studying me to gauge my reaction, there was a look of anxious anticipation in them. I replayed his explanation over in my head. "You're a spy." I whispered eventually.

He watched me intensely, studying me, as if looking for flaws in a copy. "Why are you here? You made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me."

"I never thought you were a murderer." I said. "I needed to know what you'd gotten yourself mixed up in."

"What if I was just a murderer?" he asked, his voice cracking. "I would have had no problem dispatching you. Do you enjoy putting your life in danger?"

My throat went dry. "I hadn't considered that."

"Just leave, Ruby." he said, waving me away. "You don't need to be involved in any of this."

"Involved?" I asked, realisation dawning. "It's all my fault you're involved in this."

"Don't be stupid." Severus scoffed.

"No," My tone was firm. "It is. Listen. I wanted you. I was in love with you but…a request was made that I let you go for your own good." His brows furrowed at my words. "Dumbledore told me that you had great responsibility and that it was important that you stay at Hogwarts. I told him that he was crazy for thinking you would leave for me. Then that day I walked down to say goodbye and you were packing. I panicked. I didn't want you to give up everything and realise one day that I wasn't worth alienating yourself from everything that had ever mattered to you. I made a decision based on the urgings of someone I thought I could trust. I have never forgiven myself for how I handled the situation. You didn't deserve what I did."

I couldn't look at him but I could feel his gaze burning into me. My heart was beating so loudly in my ears that I was sure whoever it was that Severus was calling Wormtail could hear it. A knocking came from somewhere. My eyes flicked up to Severus.

"You need to leave," he said quickly, "If anyone sees you, you're dead."

"But," I sputtered, my mind was racing. "How will I see you again?"

His silence was brief but stunned. "I don't think you should. Now go!"

"That's not fair." I said in a whinier tone that I had meant. "I mean, you remember me. You hate me. I don't want you to hate me. I've hated myself enough for both of us."

"I don't hate you!" His voice was low but his tone was urgent. A door opened somewhere in the house. He let out a frustrated growl. "Fine! I'll figure out some way to communicate with you. Just go!"

His eyes were wide, my heart was thumping. I lifted my wand and I was gone with a crack.