Chapter 22

Beca's POV

I'm sorry echos in my mind, pulling at me but I push it away, not wanting to leave this peaceful state. Something though urges me to get up, to stop something. Or someone. Gasping, I sit up, instantly noticing the lack of warmth and smell of strawberries. Oh god. Please say she didn't.

I scramble out of bed and rip open the door, sniffing and trying to find any sign that Chloe is here. That she didn't leave me. When I don't find anything but the faint scent telling me she hasn't been here for a while, I scream in agony. They're going to kill her.

"Beca?" Ms. Beale rushes out of her room and grips my shoulders. "What's wrong? Where's Chloe?"

"She's gone," I shudder, my vision going red. "Chloe's gone." Ms. Beale gasps and takes a step back, holding a hand over her mouth. Footsteps race up the stairs but stop when they reach me. Callie and Carter both instantly back away which makes me think the problem isn't Chloe leaving. It's me.

Looking down, I spot claws and a layer of fur bristles over my skin. My jaw aches as it stretches until I have huge canines that bite into my lip, causing blood to trickle down my chin.

"What…?" My voice sounds garbled and I growl in frustration. What is happening to me? Chloe is missing and instead of looking for her, I'm frozen in shock at what's going on. Shaking my head, I push past Carter and run down the stairs. While I run, I send messages to Chloe, hoping that maybe she'll be able to answer. That never happens so I keep following her scent, running at an inhuman speed. My feet seem to stretch into an awkward shape, but I'm suddenly running faster than before.

The trail takes me to the foster home but leads off in a different direction, stronger this time. Growling in determination, I take off again finally getting closer. After several minutes, I spot a familiar truck in the distance. Luke. He must be headed toward the pack land. Chloe's scent gets stronger which pushes me to limits I'm not sure I should pass. The trees are a blur as I run past and only begin to slow down when I'm almost to the truck. I can see Chloe's silhouette in the backseat, making my heart ache.

Luke's gaze meets mine in the rearview mirror and his eyes widen almost comically. The truck speeds up and I push myself even more, my claws almost touching the tailgate. I start to slow down though, the adrenaline wearing off. Crying, I try to push harder but my legs down seem to know how to work anymore and instead fold beneath me. I slam face first onto the concrete but the physical pain doesn't register. Just the emotional one that makes my chest ache.

I need you. I send to her, hoping that she'll tell him to turn around, that she made a mistake. She doesn't though and the truck is long gone. Sobbing, I slam my fist into the ground, claws and canines retracted. My heart seems to break, causing each breath, each moment without Chloe, to be painful. Her scent and the mate pull gets further and further away from me, constantly reminding me just how far out of reach she is.

After who knows how long, I slowly get up, each muscle almost too heavy to move. Slumping forward, I make my way back to town. I keep trying to reach Chloe, to at least let her know I understand why she did it. All she wanted to do was protect me. In the end, it's not her fault, but my own. I should've seen it coming. Should've figured out what she was planning and stopped her. But I didn't and now she's gone, leaving me to figure out how to get her back.

I get back to the house and somehow make myself go inside and face the mess that Chloe created. If she didn't though, I would've. If I had gone to fight Luke, it would've been up to Ms. Beale to pick up the broken pieces of Chloe. Better me than her.

So I stand up straight and march through the front door. When I see a photo of Chloe, I almost break down right then and there, but the thought of the wolves doing god knows what to her brings a new surge of determination and hope through me. Or maybe it's anger. It doesn't matter. Whichever one gets me to Chloe the fastest is the one I want.

"Chloe?" Ms. Beale's heartbroken voice interrupted my chaotic thoughts, bringing me back to reality. "Oh, it's you."

"Sorry."

"No, I mean. It's just-"

"Laura, it's okay." Saying her first name in this situation feels more personal than it did before and connects us in a way that I didn't think was possible. We have something in common. She lost her daughter and I lost my true love. I grasp Ms. Beale's hands in mine, trying to let her know that I'll be strong. She can let go. Ms. Beale's eyes tear up and she sobs. Even though I hate any other contact but with Chloe, I bring Ms. Beale into a hug. We stay like that for a little and I don't even notice Carter and Callie standing there until Ms. Beale pulls away. She nods, sending me a silent thanks before we all head into the kitchen.

"So," Callie slams her hands down onto the table. "Where the hell is my sister?"

"She left with Luke." My voice is sharp as my defense mechanisms come up and without Chloe here, they won't come down.

"Why?" Carter asks, more kind and patient than his twin. "I understand everything since Mom explained it all, but what I don't understand why Chloe would just leave. Especially without saying goodbye."

"Chloe did it to protect me."

"That foolish girl," Carter mutters under his breath. "What do we do know? I mean, where even is she?"

"The pack land."

"Okay, enough!" Callie screams, coming over and getting into my face. "I'm done with these short answers. I don't know why you think you're better than us, but this is our sister. So get off of your fucking throne and give us some god damn answers!"

"Really?" My voice is even but even as I speak, I can feel my claws threatening to come out and my jaw starts to ache. "I lost my fucking heart. My whole fucking life just left this house and I had to watch as she drove off with the bastard who almost killed me. Right now, she's probably at the pack land with the Alpha and I can't do a damn thing about it. So don't tell me that I don't fucking give a shit about her. It's hard for me too but I'm trying to keep it together long enough to get her back. I'm not sitting on some throne. I'm just trying to stay calm and not break down because I'll tell you what. It's a fucking miracle that I can stand here and talk with you instead of either running recklessly after her or sitting in a corner, bawling my eyes out."

The room goes silent, tears falling down almost everyone's face except for Carter whose face is scrunched up like he's trying not to cry. My breathing is ragged and I try to calm down. Without Chloe here, it's harder to do so and pretty soon, I won't be able to. I should've told her that even if she didn't reject me, being without her for a long time can still drive me crazy. It's just a matter of finding her before then and if the aching jaw and retractable claws are any clue, I have to find her soon. Chloe's life, my heart and my sanity depends on it.

3 MONTHS LATER

My vision enhances as I study the perimeter. Even after living here almost my whole life, I still don't have it all mapped out. Most of my childhood was spent in the cells of the Alpha's house or with Jesse's dad. Figures move as they switch positions for the second time in the last hour. So they do 30 minute shifts and it seems as though it's the same people.

Creeping closer, I scan the wolves, assessing their frames and determining which set would be easier to take on. After a few minutes, I have it and I take off, used to my new speed now. The trees zoom past, leaves hitting me as I dodge branches and roots. My feet blur as I take it up to a whole new level, going faster than I have before. Smiling, I jump, lunging toward the nearest tree. My claws sink into it before I quickly move to the next tree. Soon, my pace picks up as I swing from tree to tree, letting all my worries leave me.

For the last few months, the only joy I could get was being the forest. It put me at ease and when I shifted, I would stay out for days, not bothering to shift back. Nobody cared because they all figured that the reason I did so was to scout the perimeter and it was. It just wasn't the only reason. When I scouted the pack land, I could smell Chloe, feel her as though she was right there with me and it became too much. Eventually, the only escape from pain would be to let my wolf take over for several hours, or even days, at a time.

No one knew and no one had to know until I got stuck. After staying my wolf form for a week straight, just letting my wolf take the lead, I couldn't shift fully back. For some reason, I'm able to partly shift and it seemed like my body had enough shifting back and forth, finally settling on some sort of limbo.

When I realized that no amount of trying was going to bring me back to normal, I just let go. Instead of hating who I am- what I am now, I accepted it and learned what I could do. My vision is better than ever and it's like I'm seeing through wolf eyes all the time. My ears- which are now pointed- can pick up each individual sound far away, even better than my wolf could. Smells are now so vivid and I can pick out exactly where Chloe is in the house and who is nearby. The best part about this partial shifting is the speed at which I can move. What used to take me almost an hour to get from Chloe's house to the pack land, now takes me just a couple of minutes. I rip through the trees like a bullet, surprising me and any creature nearby.

My instinct is better too. When I run, I can sense where trees and roots are before I can see them. My body seems to know what to do before my brain does which has saved my butt many times when I almost got caught by the pack's patrols. Those close calls haven't stopped me and instead have made me more reckless as my new excitement for danger kicks in.

I can feel my sanity slowly draining away the longer I'm away from Chloe. My mind seems to feel no fear now and I find fun in things that no rational person should. I can tell the others see it. They watch me with worried eyes and try to get me to stay longer, but what they don't understand is that I can't. The urge to find Chloe overrides everything in me and when I know that isn't possible, the urge to lose myself in the woods takes over.

Sighing, I pull my hood up when I reach town, not wanting to scare anybody. It's dark out since that's the only time I can go out without anybody seeing me, but the hood is still a precaution. I reach the house, spotting the many cars taking up their new space in the driveway or by the curb. As soon as they could, Emily and Jesse came over to help. Jesse talked to his dad who after went to the pack land and saw how Chloe was doing. He came back and reported it to them, but no one would tell me, too afraid that I would run wild. Too late.

I wrap my hand around the doorknob awkwardly, still getting used to opening doors like this. My claws scrape together and cut the back of my hand, drawing blood. Finally, I get it open and go inside, my nails clacking on the floor. I don't bother wearing shoes any more. I was tearing through them too fast with my claws. Glancing down, I feel some shame in how I look. My clothes are dirty, my skin which is covered with fur is grimy and dark from being out in the sun all the time. Strands of stiff hair fall into my face and when I go to move it out of the way, my claws cut my forehead. Blood drips down my face and onto the floor where my attention is now focused on my feet which are curved unnaturally.

If Chloe saw me now, what would she think? Would she be disgusted? Would she even recognize me? For the first time in months, I look at myself in a mirror and a stranger looks back at me. My mouth protrudes where the canines push, which was painful at first but is a barely noticeable ache now. There's dirt everywhere and when I push my hood down, the tip of my pointed ears poke out through my dead looking hair. My eyes are a bright unnatural silver which stand out from the light gray fur that covers my body.

"Beca?" Jesse's voice breaks through my rare moment of clarity and I walk into the living room, seeing everybody in their usual spots. Emily and Ben sit on the floor in front of the TV, which is pushed back, forgotten. Callie and Carter who have dropped out of school for the semester sit together on the couch, their mom in between them. Mr. Swanson stands in the corner, holding a folder. Fat Amy leans against the wall, surrounded by snacks of all kinds. Jesse sits in the armchair, Aubrey resting on the arm of it. Lily, Cynthia Rose, and Stacie all sit in a circle next to the armchair.

A month after Chloe left, Aubrey and her friends came looking and threatened to go to the police if we didn't tell them where she was. No one believed them at first but when Carter spotted Aubrey going into the police station, we decided to loop them in. Everybody took it pretty well, especially Stacie who told us that she's believed in the supernatural since she could remember.

It's a tight squeeze, but it's the best we can do with what we've got. Everybody watches as I walk in, still shocked by my appearance. Lily is the only one who isn't fazed and she waves at me, grinning. Without smiling, I give her a wave back, noticing how Aubrey gulps when my claws slice through the air.

"So?" Jesse asks, breaking the silence.

"We can do it," I tell them. My voice still sounds weird but after some practice, I was able to speak better where everybody could understand. It hurts and I constantly bite my lips, but it's the only way to communicate with everybody.

"You found a way?" Ms. Beale asks, her voice hopeful. Rage crashes through me at the thought of hope. Hope is weak and if I let myself feel it, I would break. It almost has several times but it won't win. I won't let it.

"Yes. They switch guards every 30 minutes. The second half has the weaker ones. We should be able to take them pretty easily. It's also at the only spot that has no other patrols walking through. It's completely secluded." Everyone cheers, making my visions turn red. They shouldn't be celebrating. Not yet. Not until we have Chloe here, safe and sound.

"When are we doing this?" Emily asks sternly, meeting me in the eye without any judgment toward my appearance.

"Tonight." My voice booms, determination and anger filling each syllable. "We're going in and getting Chloe the hell out of there."