A/N- so I'm going to post the next chapter soon but in a couple of days I'll be going on vacation for a while and may not be able to post anything for a couple of weeks. I will update as soon as I can though. Hope y'all like it and let me know what you think so far!

Chapter 26

Beca's POV

I thought that I would be up all night, worrying about hurting Chloe, but I don't. Instead, sleep takes over as I finally get to be with my mate again. This is the most sane I've felt for a long time. Like I'm finally okay again. Deep down though, I know I'm not. There's still that chaos hidden below, waiting to have it's chance to take over. Some moments it did as I ran through the trees or rode on the back of trucks. I couldn't think straight, my mind darting everywhere, trying to focus but not succeeding. I felt it when I walked into the house last night and everybody was still talking.

They all watched as I went upstairs and snuck into Chloe's room. Their stares made it worse. My eyes moved from person to person, not focusing on just one. It made my shoulder itch and the urge to run out into the woods was overwhelming. The urge to see Chloe though, was more important. A part of me knew I needed her.

When she didn't run away screaming, I was overcome with joy. There was that small part of me, the one containing all the chaos, that wished she would be scared. That I would have an excuse to lose myself in the woods, let my wolf take over. But laying here with her, watching her sleep, the woods seemed nonexistent. All I wanted was to stay here with Chloe, forever.

Sunlight hits my eyelids, making me groan. Dammit. It's like nobody ever wants me to sleep in. I open my eyes to find the curtains pulled open and I chuckle. Just a couple of nights ago, I went out the window and to the woods which explains why they're not closed.

"What's so funny?" Chloe asks, still half asleep.

"Just that I'm over here cursing the world for not letting me sleep in when it's my own damn fault." I point to the window and she laughs sleepily. "How do you feel?"

"Fine, just tired and sore." I nod, not being able to speak through the anger I feel when I see her injuries. A lump in my throat forms at the thought of Luke, how I couldn't hold back and I murdered him. I'm officially a killer. My eyes start to moist but I blink rapidly to hold tears back. Luke's face keeps popping up in my mind. The look in his eyes before he drew his last breath. Mr. Swanson was right. I don't have any self control. Not anymore.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Chloe grabs my hand with the one in the sling, rubbing her thumb over my fur.

"Oh, nothing."

"Beca, talk to me." I watch Chloe, wondering how she can be this beautiful despite the bruises.

"You're like an angel, you know that?"

"Um, no but don't change the subject." Shifting onto my side, I lean on my elbow, looking down at Chloe. Her hair is spread out around her like a halo.

"I used to pride myself on being the best I could be. Not doing any harm, not like my parents."

"And you've succeeded Beca."

"I thought I did."

"What you did to Luke," Chloe assures, "is what you had to do. There was no other choice."

"But there was Chloe. I didn't have to kill. There were other ways to deal with him." Chloe stays silent, knowing that I'm right. "I'm like Lucifer. An angel but became too overcome by emotion and lack of self control to remain that way. I'm falling from heaven and I don't want to bring you down with me."

"Than don't think of it like you're bringing me down with you." I frown at Chloe's words. "Think of it like I'm an angel sent down to bring you back up. To save you."

"You really think that you can?"

"Yes, I will succeed. Or at least try my damn hardest to do so."

…..

A little while later, Chloe and I eventually have to get up and go join the world.

"Do I have too?" Chloe whines, dramatically splayed out on the bed. I laugh and give her a quick kiss.

"You think you would want to after not seeing them for so long."

"Well, I haven't seen you in forever either." I smile adoringly down at her, joyful that she's wanting to stay with me.

"I know baby, but everybody really wants to see you. Plus, we need to get some food in that belly of yours. You've gotten way too thin."

"That's just your way of saying that you're too fucking starving to wait," Chloe groans, but smiles at me and stands up. "Now, shoo. I need to get dressed."

"I can turn around. I won't look, scouts honor."

"We both damn well know you weren't in girl scouts. Now, go get me some coffee ready."

"Yes ma'am. At your service." Chloe giggles and throws a pillow at me.

"Get out of here you dork." Laughing, I leave the room, instantly feeling the emptiness that Chloe usually fills. As I walk to the kitchen, the chaos whispers to me, curling itself around my mind attempting to catch me in its grasp. Thankfully, I reach the busy kitchen before it can do so. There's a chorus of good mornings as I walk in, instantly heading to the coffee.

I grab a mug down but my grip is too strong and it shatters. All the talking stops immediately as I curse and start throwing pieces away. The glass cuts into my hands as I put them into the trash, wanting to be done before Chloe comes down. I promised her coffee dammit, but it seems to not want to cooperate. I reach for another one, only for it to do the same.

"God dammit," I curse, cutting my hands even more. "Shit, shit, shit." A hand rests on my shoulder, startling me. It's Ms. Beale and she stops my hands from grabbing more of the glass.

"You're cutting yourself, darling. Just calm down."

"I promised her coffee but the fucking mugs won't stop fucking breaking." Ms. Beale's eyes go moist as she grabs a broom, sweeping up the pieces. "I just wanted to make her coffee."

"It's okay, baby," Chloe whispers, coming up behind me. She grabs down another coffee mug and softly places it in my hand.

"Just hold it like this." Her good hand folds around mine and the mug surprisingly stays whole. Chloe stays that way the whole time we make coffee and she whispers words of encouragement which keeps me going. Finally, we finish making it and go to sit at the island. I pull out a stool for Chloe, keeping my stance beside her while she sits. It's quiet for a little as everyone watches us interact, probably wondering how she managed to tame the beast. For the time being at least.

"I'm sorry about the mugs," I apologize, not looking Ms. Beale in the eyes.

"It happens," Ms. Beale dismisses it. No it doesn't, is what I want to say. Instead, I just nod and let everybody talk to Chloe, catching up. My fingers twitch as I long to go into the woods, to run. I couldn't though. Not in this daylight. This is usually when I sleep, covered in Chloe's blankets and savoring the memories.

"I'm guessing the others are in school," Chloe points the the empty living room and everybody nods. "When do I go back?"

"Whenever you feel like it, honey." Ms. Beale wraps an arm around her shoulders.

"What about you Beca?"

"I can't go back Chlo, not like this." The hope in Chloe's eyes dim and I reach for her hand. In that moment, all I want is to be normal again. Not for me, but for Chloe so she can have the girlfriend she deserves. I can't seem to amount to the old Beca and I'm not sure I ever will.

"Excuse me," I say, kissing Chloe's cheek before tossing on my hoodie. "I'll just be right outside." They all frown as I step out onto the porch. The sunlight hits me, making me instantly sweat but it's welcome. For months, I've practically lived in the darkness.

"So you run away from your problems now," a voice teases and I look over, not very surprised to see her.

"Only when I have no other choice. " Joyce laughs and pats the bench. I let her study me for a second but pretty soon, she turns away, uninterested.

"So I hear you've gone batshit crazy like me?"

"Yup! We're like two peas in a pod," I joke and she cracks a smile, then takes a drag from her cigarette. "Those things will kill you, you know."

"It seems that we both like doing things that will kill us." Damn, she got me there.

"You're on fire this morning, Joyce."

"About as much as that cabin of yours." My laughter echos through the empty streets and I'm sure they can hear it from inside. Do they know that Joyce is here yet, or do they think I'm doing my usual crazy laugh?

"You wanted to talk to me about something?" Joyce's smile dies down.

"Yeah. I mean, I came here to meet my other grandchildren and see Chloe, make sure she's okay. But I also want to see if my vision is still the same, what with your change and all." The vision? I think hard for a few seconds until it hits me. The one where I die. Where Chloe kills me.

"That vision. Well, go ahead." I hold my arm out and Joyce grabs on, not hesitating despite all the fur. Her eyes close and stay like that for a few seconds before she opens them, looking dazed.

"It's the same but I saw more. I still don't understand why she does it but I have the time and place." I see what Joyce is asking and I shake my head.

"The only thing I want is for Chloe not to know. She's been through too much to worry about this."

"I understand. Now, let's go see your girlfriend, shall we?" Nodding, I go inside with her right behind me. Everybody in the kitchen looks up and I can tell they all think that I was laughing at nothing. I put my arm behind me, signaling for Joyce to stay.

Um, Beca? Was anybody out there with you?" Chloe asks and I shake my head.

"What are you talking about? Just me, myself, and I." I pause for a second, like I'm thinking. "You know, there was this weird thing that happened."

"Yeah?" I can see everybody on their tiptoes, wondering, hoping, that I'm not as crazy as they think. They don't even know the half of it.

"Yeah, this tall unicorn came down and sat next to me. Started asking me about my life and how gullible everybody in this room is." Laughter erupts from behind me and Joyce comes out. We high five and I walk over to Chloe, who is glaring at me.

"You really had me worried there," she pouts and I smile. If she got a look inside my brain, she'd drop dead from worry.

"Sorry, saw an opportunity too good to give up." Chloe's glare turns into a smile, like she wasn't even mad in the first place.

"How you doing, red?" Joyce sits across from Chloe, oblivious to the two Mr. Beale look alikes coming this way.

"Just peachy," Chloe smiles and grabs one of Joyce's hands in hers. "That was you talking to Beca, right?"

"Yes," Joyce booms, laughing and then suddenly leaning forward. "That was Beca talking to me, right?" Everybody laughs, finally off the initial, Beca's crazy idea. Maybe they shouldn't be though.

"Grandma Joyce, this is my sister, Callie and brother, Carter." Chloe points to her siblings who have come over.

"You two look just like your father," Joyce whispers and they smile. Chloe turns to me while they talk.

"Have you noticed anything weird between my mom and Mr. Swanson?" I frown at her question, not sure where it came from.

"Chloe, I didn't even know that Stacie and Aubrey were dating until a week or two ago. I'm about as clueless as you are."

"Oh," Chloe mutters, staring at me like I've grown two heads. Maybe I have. It wouldn't be that different. Would I be able to talk to it? If so, it would need to be quiet in the woods. I can't have some obnoxious voice scaring off-

"Beca?" Chloe waves a hand in front of my face. "You in there?" I shake my head, feeling like I just got out of a trance.

"Sorry, what?"

"You just...nevermind." I shrug and turn back to the conversation.

"So you can't touch us because you'll see us die?" Carter frowns.

"Yeah, I saw your father die and I'd rather not see your death. It breaks my heart."

"But you can touch Chloe because she's also a psychic?" Callie sounds so confused, I feel bad for her. I've lived with this my whole life though and never have had to have that same confusion. They all continue to talk about everything and I sit there, not really listening. My mind is going wild, darting from thought to thought with no real destination. It starts to give me a headache as I try to keep track and pretty soon, I have to excuse myself to go lay down.

I'm only laying down for a little bit when Chloe's door opens and she comes over to me. Scooting over to make room for her, she lays down and puts her good arm around me. I put my head on her chest and lay my arm across her waist, careful to keep my claws away from her.

"You okay?" Her voice is soothing and my headache starts to get better.

"I should be asking you that. I'm not the one who's been with bastards for the past three months."

"I'm fine," her voice cracks and I look up, seeing tears pool into her eyes.

"Chlo baby, I know you're not fine. I lived in those cells for years and know how scary they can be." Chloe sighs.

"They would keep me in there for days and then suddenly take me out of there to Julian. If Julian wasn't happy with me, he would hurt me over and over. I think I've had this broken arm for a while. I don't really know. I-I lost track of time in there." Chloe sobs and I wrap her in a hug, careful for her injured arm. For hours, we just lay there as she cries until she finally falls asleep. By then, it's dark out and I realize we skipped lunch and dinner. I probably should go get her something.

Being super careful, I crawl out of bed and am about to open the door when the window catches my eye. The woods call to me, making all the sounds of the creatures and leaves blowing amplify in my ears. Closing my eyes, I can practically smell the fresh air, feel the dirt beneath my feet.

I'm so used to going out at night that it's hard not to take off. Shaking my head, I go downstairs and grab Chloe a snack. She's still sound asleep when I get back to her room and the window catches my attention once again. It wouldn't hurt her if I went out for a little bit, right? Chloe won't mind. In fact, she doesn't have to know.

Checking once more to make sure she's asleep, I slide the window open, and jump down. Grinning, I run, feeling free and light like I could fly. I give my instinct control, letting it lead me. All thoughts of Chloe and rationality go away, leaving me to just be me.