Chapter 28

Beca's POV

As my hand reaches for the doorknob, I can't help but stare, still not used to being me again. Work has been challenging as I relearn how to grab stuff without worrying about breaking it or not ducking behind the counter when somebody comes in, afraid they'll see the beast I know that I am.

It's definitely been hard not being partly shifted all the time because then I could be free in the woods. Now though, I'm too afraid to try and shift, not willing to risk losing Chloe if I get stuck again. She seems so happy that I'm back, that I didn't choose to be that way over her. I can't risk it even if it makes it harder for me.

What I want to know is why could I do it? No other wolves have ever been able to do it before. It's been attempted in the past, but never worked. Before me. So what makes me different? Does it tie into the dream Chloe had about my supposed brother? When he said I need to know what I am, does he mean this? It's all so confusing that it makes my head spin and pound. All I want is answers, for me and Chloe.

"Going home?" Jesse asks, coming up behind me where I still have my hand wrapped around the doorknob.

"Yeah. Is that okay?" I feel like I'm treading on water since Jesse gave me my job back. He says it's perfectly fine but I'm still cautious. When Chloe was gone, I said some mean things to him. If he didn't forgive me, I wouldn't blame him.

"Of course, Beca. Go see Chloe. You know, you love that girl so much, you should marry her." My eyes practically pop out of my head at his statement.

"We're in high school Jesse. I mean, we're both 18 but still. In a way, we're still considered kids."

"Beca, with what you've both been through, I think you're more mature than most adults. I was joking about the marriage thing but it sounds like you've thought about this."

"Well, we're mates and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with her so marriage isn't out of the question. But I feel like with everything that's happened, we need to slow down a bit, you know." I shrug and start to open the door, but Jesse's next words stop me.

"I would think with everything that's happened, it would do the opposite."

"What do you mean?" I turn around to face him.

"I just mean that you never know what's going to happen. Don't waste time worrying about if you're going too fast. You and Chloe have been through so much together and it's brought you closer. You're meant to be together and will work through any problems or obstacles in the way. So the question is, why not get married? What's stopping you?"

"Jesse, we haven't even been together for a year."

"So," Jesse laughs. "Senior year is almost over and pretty soon we're all going off to college. Our lives are about to change tremendously so what's one more change added in the mix? Time is flying by and instead of seizing the moment, you're too busy living in the past. Try this Beca, instead of living in the past, embrace it. Don't let it define who you are and what you do, but you need to accept that what's happened, has happened. The things you and Chloe have gone through, it's brought you closer, but at the same time, it's stopping you from moving forward in your relationship. Put your past behind you and look toward the future."

"When did you get so smart, Jesse?" I grin, grateful to have such a good friend. Jesse shrugs and smirks.

"I've always been this smart. You've just never listened."

"Touche." I laugh and finally open the door. "Thanks Jesse."

"Anything for you Beca."

I leave the station and head to the house, thinking about what Jesse said. Is he right? Should I stop relying on Chloe to make the move and stop looking back into the past? He said to look to the future, but what future do I have? Joyce saw me die and dammit, my stubborn self refused to let her tell me when. At least I would have an idea of how much time I have left with Chloe.

Even though we've been through a lot together, a part of me won't let me look forward to a future with Chloe. How could I when Julian is out there and determined to kill me? When Joyce saw Chloe kill me, that didn't stop me from being with her, so what's stopping me now? I know the answer to that, but I'm too scared of what I'll find if I dig deep enough.

I get to the house, my thoughts raging but when I smell a sour odor, all those are replaced with worry and anger. Luke's gang is here and it's because of me. Creeping slowly, I enter the house, shocked when I find no one. There's a note on the table though, telling me to go the the waterfall, alone. Growling, I turn to go that way when I spot blood on the floor. Chloe's. Rage overcomes me and I can feel my joints starting to pop as my body tries to force a shift.

Taking a deep calming breath, I stop the shift and go out the door. It's still too light outside to shift so I'll have to take the car. Grabbing the keys, I hop in Chloe's car and take off, hoping that I'm not too late.

"Please be okay. Please be okay," I mutter under my breath, trying not to freak out. I just got Chloe back and now she's gone again. All because of me. It's always because of me. What was I thinking about marrying Chloe? I'm bad luck to her and her family. She deserves to go to college and have a normal life. One void of danger and worry.

Tears stream down my face as I get closer and closer to the waterfall. I brought all of this into Chloe's life and now it's my job to get it out. Finally, I make it to the waterfall, instantly smelling Chloe and the bastards who have her. With a pace faster than usual in my human form, I run to the waterfall, freezing in place when I see Chloe by the waters edge, blood covering her face.

"Chloe," I run to her, crouching down at her side. "Hey, you're okay now. I've got you. Wake up, Chlo." Chloe's eyes flutter open, revealing her beautiful blue eyes. I stroke her face with my hand, attempting to get the blood off.

"Beca? Where are we?" Her eyes widen as if remembering something. "Luke's friends, they took me. Knocked me out. They want to hurt you."

"I know."

"Then why are you here?"

"For you baby. I'm here for you."

"How sweet," a voice mocks and I turn to see Julian sauntering toward me. "You coming here to save her. It's disgusting if you think about it. The beautiful human girl in love with the ugly beast. Chloe, you really think that you can change her, make her different than the rest of us. Let me tell you something." Julian comes closer, not stopping even when I growl. All of Luke's friends stand behind him.

"Inside all of us werewolves is a blood lust, a want to kill humans for sport or for food, whichever way you want to look at it. We're trained from minute one to not give into such temptations and we won't no matter what, but there are exceptions. Such as a wolf who is already on the edge of insanity. Like Beca over here."

"Shut up, Julian," I scream but all I get in response is a chuckle.

"The trick is how to bring that side out. It's been done and even though Beca is still clearly lucid, I'm sure I could do it."

"No," Chloe yells, sitting up and pushing herself to her feet. I follow, prepared to jump out in front of her if need be.

"Why not? It's only a matter of time before the insanity takes her, before she lets it. Tell me Beca, do you feel it? The urge to run away right now and live in the woods, to be a wolf forever?" My teeth grind together and I close my eyes, feeling the exact thing he's talking about.

"You do," he states and my eyes fly open.

"The only way you know what I'm feeling is if you feel it too." I can see Julian blanch a little, like he didn't expect me to figure it out, but then his face is back to normal.

"Stop stalling. Now, if you want, I'll give you and your girlfriend some time to talk since it will be your last time. Then, you'll kill her." Julian turns to the wolves behind him and they start whispering. I turn to Chloe and grasp her cheeks, wiping away her tears with my thumbs.

"Chlo…"

"No, Beca. This isn't the end, okay. We'll figure it out. We always do."

"Not this time, Chlo. What he's talking about doing, there is no way I'll be able to resist. Not unless I'm dead." Chloe sobs and I clamp down the one building in me.

"Beca, please. What do we do?"

"You'll have to run, but for now, we don't do anything. Just this." I kiss her, a slow burn that picks up, like we both know this might be the last time. She pulls away first, stubborn.

"This isn't goodbye. I won't let it be." I chuckle, loving her more in that moment than ever before.

"Don't lose the fight in you Chloe." She sobs again and I start to walk away before it hits me. The only way to save Chloe, is to kill me. Joyce's vision makes complete sense now. Whipping around, I grab her hands and pull her to me.

"Chloe, you're going to have to kill me."

"What?"

"I won't be able to stop myself. Julian wants me to kill you and never be able to be sane again. You have to."

"No, I'd rather die."

"Chloe, you have your family to think about. Me, all I have is you and if I lose that, Julian would win. Please, don't let him win." Tears stream down both our faces as fast as the waterfall next to us.

"I love you," I whisper into her ear, finally making the first move. "Chloe, I know that it seems like I'm constantly the one saving you, but the thing is, you're the one saving me. Before you, I had nothing- was nothing, but you changed that. Now, I have a purpose. To give you the best life possible. Whatever happens here, I want you to know that it's okay to move on. Go to college and travel the world. I've never been one to want to settle down, but I would do it with you. I love you Chloe Beale. No matter what happens, don't forget me."

"How could anyone forget you?" Chloe sobs, putting a hand on my cheek. "I love you too Beca, but you won't die. Promise me." Shaking my head, I kiss her one more time and then move away, already accepting my fate. Giving her one last smile, I turn to the wolves and run, ready to attack. When they see me coming, they push Tom forward and I see what Julian's plan is. He knows that I'll win against them but by the time I beat the last one, I'll be too far gone to stop.

Not caring about his plan and just wanting to keep Chloe safe, I continue forward. Tom shifts into his wolf form and I just smile. Cracking my neck, I start the partial shift, hoping to catch him by surprise. Plus, I'm stronger and faster this way. Tom is surprised which gives me an advantage that I gladly take.

Before we crash into each other, I jump over him, twisting so that when I land on his back, my claws sink into his neck. He howls and tries to shake me off, but I latch on even tighter. Within seconds, Tom falls to the ground dead, his throat slashed. Panting, I turn to Julian and the others as they all watch me with wide eyes. I smell fear wafting off of each of them and when I look at Chloe, pride covers her face.

"Kill her," Julian orders. Jacob, Christopher, and Bumper all shift, running toward me. I bark with laughter at the obvious fear in Julian's eyes. Apparently, he didn't know just how much of a beast I really am.

Bumper gets to me first and lunges at me. I duck and as he jumps over me, I sink my claws into his stomach. Before I can do any real damage though, Christopher tackles me to the ground and we roll. His claws sink into my shoulder, but I don't pay any attention to the pain and instead, smile. Snarling, I bite into his neck, tasting the warm blood that flows into my mouth. I don't find any pleasure in it, but the rage that was there intensifies.

I bite down harder, loving the sound of Christopher's cries. He shifts and suddenly, I'm not biting a wolf but a human and everything seems to slow down. It was easier to watch a wolf die because I could pretend that he was just that, a wolf and not something else. Killing a human makes me a murderer and I'm not sure how to handle that.

Giggling nervously, I manage to duck Bumper's teeth. Reaching forward, I grab his jaw, crushing it with my hand. His claws cut into me as he attempts to wiggle out of my grasp, but it doesn't work. When I hear a snap, I let him go, laughing. Suddenly, a huge wolf tackles me from behind, pinning me to the ground. Memories of the day that I got whipped by these very people flash through my mind, causing my vision to go red.

Howling, I shove Jacob off of me, ready to take him on. Bumper jumps in front of him and wraps his teeth around my throat. Right as I can feel his teeth start to pierce my skin, I grab the top of his muzzle with one hand and the bottom with the other, prying his jaw open. Even when his teeth are nowhere near my throat, I don't stop and when his mouth is open wide enough, I shove my foot down. The claws on my feet rip through his face and then he lays dead as I stand above him, holding parts of his jaw in my hands.

Panting and nearing exhaustion, I turn to Jacob, the last one left. His gaze is set on the non recognizable Bumper and I can see the numbness spreading through him. It's the same thing I feel right now. We circle each other until finally, he strikes. He rams into my stomach and I try and get a grip into his thick skin as we sail across the field. When we hit a tree, I go limp, trying to get the air back into my lungs.

Finally, I suck in a deep painful breath and barely have time to recover as Jacob attacks again. I jump over him and grab his tail, flinging him into the tree I myself just hit. He slams into it and before he can recover, I jump on him, letting my claws sink into his eyeballs until he stops moving. The last one is dead and now all that's left is Julian.

Growling, I run at him and he squeals. Maybe he wasn't as tough as everyone thought.

"Don't, please," Julian begs making me laugh.

"Why should I spare your life?" Julian frowns, trying to understand what I said through my inhuman voice. He just stares at me with wide eyes.

"That's what I thought." I lunge toward him, throwing him to the ground.

"Beca, stop. Enough already." Chloe cries but I don't listen. Her voice means nothing to me, she means nothing to me. All I want is to kill, to get revenge for everything Julian has ever done to me. With no thought to it, I slice Julian's throat, joyfully watching the light fade from his eyes.

"Beca," a girl sobs and I turn toward her, ready for my next kill. I turn my head sideways, trying to decide how I want to do it. Maybe I should paint her body the same color as her hair. Grinning, I take a step forward, loving it when she stumbles backward, falling next to one of the dead wolves.

She screams and goes to move away, but I jump on her, pinning her to the ground. Her body shakes in fear as I straddle her, sniffing her body and wondering where to strike first.

"Beca, please," she begs, making it even more pleasurable for me. "Don't make me do this." Whatever she is talking about is no concern of mine as I bring my teeth to her neck. Just as I go to bite down, pain erupts in my stomach, making me frown. I sit back up and look down, surprised to see a wolf's claw impaling me. The girl's hands are wrapped around the paw and I laugh, not sure why I didn't think of that.

I fall to the ground, the claw sliding out and I clutch my stomach, trying to stop the blood flow. The girl leans over me as tears fall down her face and onto mine. My mind starts to clear, trying to place her and why she seems to care for me. I just killed all these people and even went after her, yet she is still here.

"I'm so sorry. Come back to me, please." She sobs and stokes me hair.

Come back to me. Her voice suddenly flows through my mind, taking up all the space and returning me back to who I used to be. Who I'm supposed to be.

"Chloe? How did you do that?" I cough and she gasps in surprise. My body goes back to normal and the pain hits me even harder, making me cry out, arching my back.

"Beca! Stay with me okay. I called and we have people coming to help." It's too late is what I want to say but I don't, wanting her to have some kind of hope. I lived without it for so long and I regret that. Chloe needs it, even if it's false.

"I love you," I cough again and this time, blood comes up. It flows out of my mouth and down my face causing Chloe to sob even harder.

"I'm s-sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry Beca. He gave you no choice." I just shake my head, trying to make her understand.

"No. I-I'm sorry that I didn't…." I trail off as black starts to cover my vision and my head starts to flop to the side, suddenly too heavy to hold up. Chloe holds my head on her lap and brushes my hair aside.

"That you didn't what, Beca?" Chloe whispers gently and I smile a little, imagining her in a white wedding dress, suddenly able to see a future with her. A little too late though since I'm lying here dying.

"That I...didn't...marry...you," I finally get out, each breath getting harder to take. Chloe rocks back and forth, wailing.

"You can still marry me. You will marry me Beca, do you hear me? You better live long enough to ask me properly and marry me. If you don't, I will personally bring you back to life and kill you again. Do you understand me?" Smiling, I nod and start coughing as I choke on blood. Chloe moves me on my side but it doesn't help. The blood just keeps coming.

I roll over and stare at Chloe one last time. Will I see her after I die? Get to watch after her or whatever all those people say?

"Maybe I've been dead this whole time," I gurgle softly and Chloe leans in to hear me better. "Because you're my angel, Chloe. My beautiful...angel." My eyes close and everything just stops.