A/N: To all my loyal readers, who encouraged me to come back, to post again, I am so sorry. After the pandemic, I lost my mojo for this story. Life gets in the way of even the best-laid plans, and I was back to work, and I never seemed to be able to connect the large pieces I had written between this point and the Epilouge.
Oh yeah, that's been written for AGES, but my newly diagnosed ADHD (but apparently was my problem my whole life), prevented me from being able to sit down and finish this. And I hope to finish it properly. This chapter doesn't seem like my best, in my honest opinion. But I am hoping it reflects my willingness to finish this, for you and for myself. I have like 15 partially started story ideas on my OneDrive, and my husband is getting after me for starting so many new projects before finishing this.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy it.
Thank you for all the love.
The day of the attack on the McKinnon's arrived, and I was busy attempting to get Al to eat his mushy peas. Rig had been a lost cause, as he spat it out and clamped his mouth shut at the sight of the green food.
"You both will eat your vegetables, and learn to like them," I muttered to my twins, making Rig squeal in delight. He promptly began smacking his hands down into the substance on his highchair's tray, splattering both Al and me with it. The brothers laughed, Al smacking his hands down to continue the game his older twin started. Closing my eyes, I sighed, wandlessly cleaning the mess and giving up, "Fine. We'll try again later."
"I think they take after me too much," Sirius' voice spoke behind me. I turned to see him smiling at me, a loving look in his eyes, as our sons giggled gleefully.
"You aren't wrong," I teased.
"Do you boys know how much I love your Mum?" Sirius spoke to our twins, coming up behind my chair to wrap his arms around me.
"I love her so much, I might just burst if I don't tell her every five minutes," Sirius exclaimed, making the boys laugh.
"Really? Burst ?" I turned to look up at him with a raised brow.
"Really," He smirked, before looking back at the boys, "Lily and Alice still coming over to wait?"
"Yes," I nodded, frowning, "I wish I could go with you."
"You know why you should be here. Our boys need you," He spoke softly, laying a kiss on the top of my head, resting his chin there, " We need you."
"Yes," I sighed, letting the breath go through my nose in mild irritation.
"Don't be like that," Sirius spoke calmly, coming to sit next to me as I handed the boys fruit that I had placed in cheesecloth, to suck on.
"I should be there ," I gave him a look.
"Yes, but after a happy accident, we have two little rascals here that need you."
"She is one of my best friends," I spoke firmly, "I should be there to help her. Why don't you stay home with the boys?"
He gave a pinched look, before replying, "This isn't about Marls."
"What do you mean?" I asked, avoiding his eyes.
"You're experiencing cabin fever, or maybe you'd rather leave our boys with Dobby and blindly throw yourself into a fight. You should be safe. And if that means being here with our children, than I'd gladly lock you up."
"Women aren't only good for breeding and childrearing," I narrowed my eyes on him, "Some of us have dreams and ambitions."
"I'm not saying you can't," He argued, raising his voice slightly and getting up to pace away, "I'm asking you, begging you, to come out of this alive. And if that means taking our boys and running, then so be it."
"You know I won't do that," I spoke lowly, "It has been my soul purpose coming back here, to end this, once and for all. I will not run. I will not hide. I will face him, with or without your support. But I don't need your consent."
"Mia," He sagged, dropping to his knees next to my chair, "I'm not asking you to run. I'm asking you to do whatever it takes to stay alive, to be a Mum for our boys. If Merlin forbid, I fall, I would want to know that you were there to look out for them, to raise them. Would you not want the same?"
"…Yes," I nodded, "But-"
" Mia ," He groaned, "I know. I know you have this prophecy to fulfill and a madman to stop from destroying our world; But besides all that, you owe it to our boys to try and come out of this alive. And if that means not coming out of this protected home until you absolutely have to, that's all I ask."
Accepting defeat, I looked back at my two littles, berry juice smeared all over their faces as they grinned at us.
"I can't lose anyone else," I spoke softly, "I was supposed to prevent all of this, and I feel so useless being in this house."
"Dumbledore might have been a right bastard in your future, but I like to think that something has changed in him. He doesn't see us as expendable, that our deaths go towards the greater good. He's really trying to get everyone out alive. No more spying on Death Eaters for those unable to use an animagus form. Safehouses and security questions have actually saved our lives. Benjy would have been blown to bits last week if we hadn't been there to back him up," Sirius spoke, taking my hand.
"Please leave the talk of people being blown up until we are not in front of the children," I narrowed my eyes on him.
"They are less than a year old, I don't think they will remember this," He smiled teasingly. Rolling my eyes, I sighed, "I don't feel useful as anything more than a glorified crystal ball."
"But you are so much more than that, Mia," He spoke reverently, dropping a kiss to the back of my hand.
"Hello?" A voice called as the Floo went off.
"In here," I called out to Lily. She came in, with Harry cuddled close and James on her tail with a bag.
"Proposing again Padfoot?" James teased, as I stood to greet my best friend and my godson/best friend.
"Just pleading with me to stay home and take care of the boys," I sighed as Sirius got up.
"It will be fun," Lily smiled softly, "Their first playdate."
"Not that Harry and Nev will be doing much," James quipped.
"Just lying there, looking cute," Sirius smirked.
"We best head out," James spoke, the mood in the room changing. Lily kissed James once, watery eyes as she pulled back saying, "Be safe."
"Aren't I always?"
I opened my mouth to retort, as James looked at me quickly and said, "I don't go anywhere without my wand now, and you know it."
"She's going to hold it over you forever, mate," Sirius joked, "But that means you will be alive for her to remind."
"And that is what matters," Lily smiled. He nodded, kissing Lily's temple before coming to hug me and kiss my temple as well. I held his cheek as he pulled away, smiling at him encouragingly, "Be safe, brother."
"You too, Sister," He teased, before kissing Harry's head.
Sirius kissed our boys once, smiling at me sadly, kissing my forehead.
"I love you, Sassenach," He whispered.
"I love you, Padfoot. Come home," I pleaded with him, my voice barely above a whisper.
"I'm always trying to come home to you," He promised, before his body straightened, a feeling of foreboding coming over the room. As the men walked out to the Drawing Room, Lily took my hand, her whisper breaking the silence, "They'll be okay."
"I know they will. I just worry about everyone else. I feel so useless in this house."
"You aren't," Lily spoke gently, "But, Sirius is right. The boys need you. And you're the key to winning this war. Selfishly, I want you safe much more than you want to fight."
"I just know... I feel like something will go wrong," I whispered, my eyes stinging with tears, the anxiety churning my stomach harshly. Lily's hand came up to pull me in for a hug, my face resting against her shoulder, a clear view of little Harry sleeping in her arms from the angle.
"You've taken on so much, to even get us to this point. Everyone knows you've thrown your all into this; trying to save us all. Take a moment to count everything you've accomplished. We will follow you to Hell and back, knowing you've had our backs since before we ever met you," She implored, "Any choice we make, after being informed of everything ? That's on us. Not on you, or anyone else. You gave us the tools and maps to get us out of this mess, but our actions are our own."
As she pulled back from the hug, I sniffled, wandlessly calling a napkin to my hand to dab at my eyes, which had begun pouring halfway through her little speech.
"Now, let's move ourselves to the Drawing Room. Alice should be here with Neville soon, and I haven't been able to meet him yet."
"Alright," I sighed once, before pulling Rig out of his seat, Dobby appearing to take the babe.
"Dobby will help Mistress to the Drawing Room. Dobby has set out tea and biscuits, too," He spoke gently, taking Rig with a smile for the boy.
"Thank you, Dobby," I replied with gratitude, pulling Al from his own chair, following after Lily and Dobby.
The Floo came to life as we walked in, Alice and Frank walking out with a bundle in Alice's arms.
"Let me see him," Lily beamed, coming up to our friend as Frank kissed Alice's head goodbye.
"Be safe," She implored her husband, who winked at her once, before grabbing more Floo powder. As Frank left, Alice and Lily traded their sons, cooing over the small babes.
Dobby helped set up Rig on the mat, putting a toy within his reach, "There you go, Master Rigel."
"Thank you, Dobby," I smiled sadly at the elf.
"Dobby just goes to set up Nursery now, Mistress," He smiled, before popping away with a snap of his fingers.
"Is there anything more precious in the world, than our babies?" Alice smiled up at me tearily, looking back down at Harry.
"Nothing in my eyes," Lily chuckled with a watery smile, brushing her finger along Neville's cheek.
"These little ones are going to take Hogwarts by storm," Alice sighed in exasperation, "I can already see the letters about their mischief. Is that sad?"
"I think it's wonderful," I spoke quietly, "It means they'll have a full life; one untouched by war or heartache. It's all I want for them."
Lily and Alice shared a look, before coming to sidle up next to me on the couch, wrapping their arms around me.
"We are going to see them live glorious lives, and have families of their own," Lily spoke softly, as I was handed Neville in one arm, and Harry in the other, "And you... You will be there to see it. I will find a way to bring you back myself, if..."
It wasn't spoken, but Alice and Lily squeezed me harder for a moment, before I nodded, "I hope you're right. I hope we all are."
The hour passed, as I paced restlessly, Alice and Lily trying to pull my into their conversation many times. They finally gave up, as if they sensed Sassenach was not able to focus on anything but the threat of danger we were under. My skin felt itchy, and I felt as if I may throw up from the anxiety running through my veins.
Finally, I felt the wards shift, my head snapping up as I called for Dobby to watch the twins. I knew they were friendlies, whoever was passing through, but they amount was what worried me.
Two... five... seven... Nine. There should have been ten.
Throwing open the front doors, I watched the procession, the Floo beginning to allow more through; the members who weren't helping protect the McKinnon's home.
Gideon and Fabian were the beginning of the procession, Peter holding onto an injured Remus, while Frank dashed up to Alice.
"Who was it?" I asked monotonously, knowing it wasn't Sirius or James. Lily would have felt it, and I would have as well.
"There were more than we counted on. But we got most of them out and to the safe house," Frank spoke, as Alice held him tight.
"Who... Who didn't..." Lily couldn't even finish her question, as we caught sight of the blonde-haired witch, being carried up on a stretcher.
"Malfoy... He popped up at the last minute... Caught her in the back," Frank spoke hesitantly, "We barely had time to stun him, before she was... gone."
"Marls," Lily sobbed, breaking down as Dorcas
Seeing Marlene's body brought up my front steps, I felt ice run through my veins, a cold fury settling over me like a Dementor's presence. The girls were all crying, Remus being comforted by Peter, while James and Sirius carried the stretcher. As Dobby put the twins in bed for us, and everyone was congregating in the drawing room to mourn over her, I began the sanctification spells. While no church recognized any witchcraft as holy , there were spells to prepare the body and the witch or wizard's magical core, for burial.
It had been a lesson I had to discover on my own. With death a very real possibility, I wanted to honor my friends with a blessed burial and passage onto the next life. I had no idea if there was an afterlife, many different cultures and religions theorizing their own version, but we only had ghosts to confirm life after death.
Magic flowed through me as I began to prepare her, knowing I needed to focus on something before I exploded in anger.
Her smile.
Her laugh.
Her carefree attitude.
Her protectiveness of her friends.
Her heart.
Her love, given freely.
It was gone. Snuffed out by Lucius himself. Another tally against him, and one more reason I wished I could kill him.
Pulling her memories gently, I was hesitant to watch, knowing I would feel her death as my own. It was the only downside to using a Pensieve to view the memories of the dead. That, and you only had an hour at most, before the memories began to die.
Bottling them for use at Lucius' trial, I met a pair of green eyes across the room. Lily looked tired, and I didn't blame her. My grief felt like it was crawling up my throat, looking to claw its way out, and keeping it together was taking every bit of my energy.
Sirius came up beside me, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.
"We'll get her ready," He spoke softly, "You should go rest."
"How can I?" I spoke monotonously, "How can I sleep knowing I didn't do everything I could to-"
"You did," Sirius spoke sternly, "You made sure they knew. You gave us the warning. Her parents, sisters and her little brother are alive because of you. Marlene knew what she was getting into when she stayed behind to help us fight off the scum. She knew the dangers, and chose to stay."
"I was a fool to think I could save everyone," I whispered, reaching up to pet her hair down, my tears gathering quickly.
"Not a fool. A reckless Gryffindor," He spoke gently, "Loyal as a Hufflepuff, smart as a Ravenclaw, and as cunning as a Slytherin, Kitten. Never a fool."
Leaning against his shoulder, I quickly kissed him, before transforming into Sassenach. Sitting near the low table, I was able to smell her, the beginnings of Riga Mortis and decay settling in.
I stayed there for what felt like hours, as our friends left, and the fire died down. Sirius approached me as Padfoot, licking the side of my face as if to break me out of a trance. Instead, I simply walked out of the Drawing Room, allowing the Order to take Marlene's body, as I padded up the stairs to the Nursery. Rig and Al were sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware as I settled down on the rug between their cribs.
Flashes of memories assaulted me, preventing me from sleeping, and making it impossible to block out my unadulterated rage.