Chapter 46
Beca's POV
Fatigue and pain is all I feel. I'm ecstatic to be back and be with Chloe, but exhaustion rampages through my body. The smile feels too forced and I'm afraid if I drop it, everyone will think I'm not happy to be back. So I shake it off and go with Chloe. I haven't let go of her hand since we came inside, even when they set a plate of pancakes in front of me.
While I should be starving and inhaling the food since all I've had over the year was that slop, I can't do it. My chest burns as my ribs attempt to mend back together and it even hurts to swallow. So I pick at my food, acting more interested in the conversation around me so that Chloe can't see anything wrong.
"Aubrey is a little strict and set in her rules, but it's not too bad. We all get to laugh and sing together which is so much fun. Chloe comes in occasionally and watches us, but not very often." Emily spouts out without wasting a breath. Frowning, I look over at Chloe who attempts to remove her hand which I have in a death grip too afraid to let go in case I lose her again.
"Why aren't you in it? It was your idea. I remember you seemed so excited to start the groups up again." Chloe just looks down and fiddles with a string on her shirt. Before I can push any further, a tall man with dark hair and similar features as me walks in.
"Big Bear," I whisper when the name comes to me and his head turns my way. A grin splits across his face and he walks toward me.
"My bumblebee," he cheers and I finally let go of Chloe's hand to get up. "Still as tiny as ever!"
"Tiny but vicious," I grin and walk into his outstretched arms. He squeezes, making it hard to breathe for a second and pain to flare throughout my body, but I ignore it, wanting this moment to last.
"People always underestimate bumblebees," Chicago comments. "I saw you earlier, when you shifted. You were absolutely amazing." We pull away from each other and I find my way back to Chloe. Chicago sits across from us, his eyes never leaving mine.
"Your eyes were like that when you were born, you know?" Chicago gestures and I smile. "Why are they like that now?"
"I guess my wolf and I bonded on a level that doesn't normally happen."
"It must've been strong for it to have affected Chloe too," Eli comments and I frown.
"What do you-" Chloe's bright blue eyes leave me breathless as I just realized how different they are. "Damn." I mutter. Chloe and Chicago laugh, warming my heart. It's great to hear them getting along and laughing together. Not to mention how much I've missed Chloe and her laugh.
"Jessica and Ashley are on their way," Theo announces, coming into the kitchen. "It'll be awhile before they get here so I'm going to take a quick shower and I bet that Beca wants to clean up too." I nod eagerly and everybody laughs.
"I brought some of your clothes," Chloe says and I grab her hand, squeezing in thanks. "I'm not sure what will fit though." She whispers the last part and I spot tears welling up in her eyes.
"Give me an hour," I tell them before dragging Chloe with me upstairs. "Did he say where we're staying?"
"Yeah, third door on the left." Nodding, I go there and shut the door before going directly to the bathroom.
"I'm going to grab your bag," Chloe says and the door softly shuts behind her. I automatically strip, not wanting to be in these black clothes any longer. I've always preferred dark clothes over bright and colorful, but I'd choose that over these damn scrubs any day. With a wince, I look at myself in the mirror. Bruises of all colors line my ribs, constantly changing as they work to heal. Scars line my body, too many to count. I know that Chloe loves me and won't judge, but it's still hard not to hide it all from her. It's been so long that there's no guarantee that she'll still take me.
"Stop being stupid, Beca," I scold myself. Shaking my head, I hop into the shower, letting the warm water wash over me. Though I want to linger, I wash real quick before shutting the water off and wrapping a towel around me. When I enter the room, I spot Chloe lying down on the bed, but can tell that she's not sleeping. Not bothering to get dressed yet, I crawl onto the bed and lay my head on Chloe's chest letting my arm wrap around her waist. Her arm curls around my body making me purr in content.
"God. This bed feels amazing," I sigh and Chloe chuckles. "You do too."
"Do I now?" I make a sound of agreement and snuggle closer to her, burying my nose in her neck.
"Why didn't you join me?"
"What?" Chloe shifts until we're laying side by side facing each other.
"In the shower. Why didn't you join me?"
"Is that your way of saying I stink?" Chloe laughs and I slap her playfully. "Sorry. I figured you might want some-"
"Space," I interrupt and sigh in exhaustion. "When will you get that I don't need space? Not when it comes to you."
"You sure? You were gone a long time and though my feelings haven't changed, I was afraid yours-"
"Never. If anything, they're stronger now. Being kidnapped made me realize how lucky I was- am. Don't ever doubt my love for you because it won't change." Chloe nods, tears running down her face.
"I thought you were dead," she whispers. "We even had a funeral and an empty casket was buried for you." I go silent, thinking of how that might've gone and hating that it had to.
"How many-"
"Everybody," Chloe interrupts, knowing what I was going to ask. I nod and Chloe's eyes flick over my face, trying to read me.
"So," I start and Chloe's eyes widen in anticipation, "who put the fun in funeral for me?" Chloe just goes blank and then she grins.
"God, it's good to have you back," she pulls me closer and laughs. We collapse into a comfortable silence, not wanting to get up and move anytime soon.
"Beca, do you know about project P.I.T.C.H and what they did to you?"
"Yeah, I'm a science experiment. Chloe," I lift myself up with my elbow and stare down at her. "Do you know what your father did?" Chloe nods and for a second we just stare at each other. Her eyes constantly move, studying my face as if memorizing it.
"You look different," Chloe comments, swallowing hard.
"You do too," I say and it's true. "You're thinner and… wait, did you cut your hair?" Reaching up with one hand, Chloe touches her head.
"Just a few inches. Why? Do you not like it?"
"I do! It's just different. Everything is different." With a heavy heart, I lay back down with my head on Chloe's chest. "Why did Emily say you aren't in the Barden Bellas?" Chloe sighs and strokes a hand up and down my back making my eyes droop.
"Without you, I just couldn't join it. I didn't know it then, but back when I was finding a way to start the groups up again, I had you in mind the whole time. When I thought you died, I couldn't find the will to be in the group. Hell, I barely found the energy to go see the girls. All I could think about was how unfair it was that you weren't there."
"I thought about that a lot too. About what you guys were doing and if you missed me. The only thing that kept me going was seeing you again." Tears stream down my face and I fight to hold back the sobs as the memories of the past year hit me full force. Chloe's body starts to shake as she cries too and for a while, we just hold each other, sobbing for all the time that we lost.
"How will we get back to what we once were?" I ask, sniffling. "Getting married and moving onto college was supposed to be our new beginning. Then I went and got kidnapped. Now, even though I'm back, we're still stuck because Fergus is still out there and won't stop until he has me back. Chloe, he has no idea about you and if he did…" I shudder and Chloe tightens her hold on me.
"We'll get through this Beca."
"How?" Chloe smiles and smoothes my hair down.
"We start with you getting some rest. Then, we'll go downstairs and put together a plan to take that damn doctor down."
"God, I love you. I've wanted to say that for so long."
"Well," Chloe's smile turns smug. "I wouldn't mind hearing it again." Laughing, I kiss her hard.
"I love you, Chloe. That will never change."
"I love you too Beca. Now get some sleep." Sighing, I listen to what Chloe says and slowly drift off to sleep.
A/N- hey, I hope you guys are enjoying everything so far! I love to hear your thoughts on the story so thank you so much! As I get closer to finishing the story, I'll be updating more often so you won't be kept waiting too long. Thank you once again for reading and I would love to keep getting your feedback on everything.