"Athras"

Friendship was a fickle thing, Liz thought. All her life, or lives, she'd met people that have told her that they were friends. People that promised to always be there for her, telling her that she always had a place to go. A friend to confide in.

But things weren't so simple. Not once in her life has she ever met anyone that didn't at some point have to go their separate way. Or perhaps simply got bored of the young woman? All of those 'I'll always be here's and 'We'll always be friends' amounted to nothing in the end.

It always did.

Liz began to expect it, at some point. Everyone leaves eventually. An inevitability. No one had time to stick around. Even the people she called family had done it, at some point or another.

Her mother and father kicked her sister out and stopped contacting her after she expressed disagreement with their actions. Any of her other relatives seemed to shy away and cease contact, as well. Her grandmother wouldn't have let it happen, but she was no longer around.

Being tossed aside and left behind was inevitable. Liz was tired of it, quite frankly. Tired of being disposable. So when the subject of friends came up she simply shut down. Closed off. She didn't need such things, anyway. What mattered was keeping herself alive. Keeping her brother alive.

That's all that mattered. Nothing else did.

'I won't fail this time.' She vowed, thinking of Elise. An ache settled into her chest.

Or, so she thought. When she heard about where the demon activity was spotted, dread had settled in her stomach. It threatened to consume her like a disease. Fear. She bound into the building as fast as her little body could carry her.

The location was dangerously close to where one of Athras' shacks were.

When she got into the hallway that connected to the War Room, she swiftly transformed and stumbled. Her feet barely catching purchase. Liz panted, sweat already beading on her brow.

This couldn't be happening.

She hadn't realized until then just how attached to the elder she'd been. She was grateful for the things he's done for her. Teaching her how to control her magic by using her will and keeping her emotions in check. Even shapeshifting, which wasn't really all that common of a skill to have. From what she's seen.

The young woman stumbled and threw the door open with all her might. Which wasn't all that much. The door opened, causing a couple people's heads to turn. Windows circled the far side of the meeting room, allowing ample sunlight to filter in. Maxwell's advisors were on the far side of the wood carved table. The Seeker stood beside him, shoulder brushing against his as she turned to look at the interruption.

Evidently they'd been in the middle of discussing something. Liz's eyes zeroed in on Maxwell, who looked disapproving of her lack of manners.

"Max." She huffed, out of breath. "The demon activity. Where… where was it located? When are you going?"

"Erin, we are in the middle of a meeting here." He scolded, his lone eye staring down at her in disappointment. "You know better than to just barge in like that."

"This is serious!" She snapped, "My friend. My mentor. H-He …"

This gave the young man pause and he held his hand up to the others, halting the discussion if only briefly.

"It will be handled, Erin. Please, don't worry. If your friend is there, we will help him."

"We have to go, now." She pleaded, her hand gripping the doorframe. Why did her body feel so sluggish?

"It is nearly dusk. We will leave tomorrow after you've rested. It appears as though you can barely keep yourself upright." His hands were on her shoulders, now. "When was the last time you slept?"

"I… I ah… I cannot remember." She answered, eyes flicking up at the advisors. Leliana looked almost irritated at her interruption. Josephine looked worried and Cullen seemed sympathetic. He, too, seemed to have bags underneath his eyes.

"Look, go back up to our rooms and we can discuss this when the meeting is over. Try to get some rest."

"No…" She muttered, the words were there but wouldn't leave her mouth. 'I can't. Everytime I do I...I am reminded of your sister.'

Her dreams were no longer a place of peace and serenity, like they were on Earth. Now it was a place of torture and reminders of her misdoings. Of… Elise, who she tried so hard not to think about. Because everytime she thought about her sister, it was like the wound in her heart ripped open tenfold. The void in the box of feelings-not-to-touch seemingly growing and growing with each day.

She knew, she didn't allow herself a healthy way to cope. To grieve.

But she couldn't. She didn't have time. Never did.

Cole

The spirit followed his friend, Solas, toward the War Room. Where they were to wait and talk to the Inquisitor about what they were to do the next day. But it seemed Liz had beaten them to the room. The young woman stood there, arguing with the eldest Trevelyan. Everything about her seemed erratic, scared. Her arms moved animatedly as she spoke, brows knitted and anger in her eyes.

Solas stood behind her with his hands folded behind his back. He looked as though he wanted to step in, but opted to wait.

Cole? Cole didn't know what to do. He knew that Maxwell had things under control. That Max would never just let people needlessly get hurt. But he also knew that the young man would never send in his troops or friends out just to get killed.

"I'm leaving. I'll go myself." Liz gritted through her teeth, getting a stunned look out of the Inquisitor.

"Erin!"

He heard it deep within her, that time. Liz was practically screaming, 'I'm not ERIN.'

But she simply yanked her arm from his grasp and turned to leave. Leave when night was falling, with little to no provisions. Leaving to her inevitable death.

Without even thinking, Cole stood in front of the woman. She opened her mouth to protest, but Solas seemed to have a similar plan. The bald mage held out his hand in front of the woman's face. Her eyes crossed and she slumped forward. Solas caught her and sighed, looking up at the group.

"Inquisitor. It seems Erin has been suffering from sleep deprivation, I'm sure you're aware of. It is… worse than I thought."

The young man shut the door as he left the room, allowing some privacy between the three. Cole knew that the woman hadn't been sleeping, but she was so stubborn and wouldn't allow anyone to help her. Not even Serana. Solas set her down gently onto the ground, his hands glowing as he began to push his magic into her. Checking for any damage.

"Is it demons…?" Trevelyan asked quietly, worry buzzing in his chest like a hive of bees. Cole tensed when Solas spoke next.

"There is no sure way of knowing unless I… examine her closer. I could enter her dreams and try to root out the source, if I may?"

Maxwell looked like he was considering, before Cole blurted, "Liz already said no, Solas."

"...Liz?" The Inquisitor asked, brows scrunched.

"Erin." He clarified, "Beaten, betrayed—buried in sorrow. She doesn't want anyone to see. Seeing will hurt her."

"W-what… what happened to her?" Maxwell asked, looking at the spirit. Afraid. He was afraid to know.

"She keeps it hidden, held tight. Here." He put his fist to his chest, eyes narrowing down at the elf. He then looked up at the Inquisitor, "If you want to know, ask her. When people care, it makes her happy. Reminds her that not everyone is the same."

Cole felt oddly protective of her. Of their budding friendship. So he crouched down and picked up her unconscious body, his steely blue eyes staring down at the elf in disapproval. He would talk to him about it later. But not now.

With that, he was gone.

Something about the way he tried to go around Liz's wishes and ask her brother instead, made him angry. Cole was angry for Liz. What he did was wrong.

The young rogue shut the door behind them, Liz cradled in his arms gently as he made his way to her room. The Trevelyan Quarters were still under construction, mostly. Their rooms had been the first things to be made. He walked up to the door on the right, pushing it open and walking up to her bed that sat in the back. The curtains were drawn, allowing the room to be cloaked in complete darkness.

He sighed as he set her onto the soft bed. He noticed how it was mostly untouched. Most of the room was, aside from the dresser and her desk. The room was barren, no personal touches at all. The bed, most of all, remained unslept in.

How did she keep herself going? Didn't people need sleep?

Liz's breathing came in short sharp gasps, her brows scrunching. Cole tilted his head and looked down at her, trying to listen and see what was wrong. He found himself crouched nearby, head tilting to the side. What was bothering her?

Fear, it roiled in her gut. Guilt, most of all. A tear escaped the side of her eye, rolling down her cheek.

He'd been inside of the Inquisitor's head before. It had been an accident. But he's never tried it after that. And he knew that Liz didn't want anyone to enter her dreams. She didn't even want Cole's help at all. But part of him couldn't accept that. Accept that she didn't need help when she clearly did.

Liz let out a whimper, her mouth opening in a silent cry.

"Liz?" Cole called, hand held out and about to wake her up. That is, until something seemed to pulse. It radiated from her chest, her skin buzzed underneath his fingertips. He grabbed her shoulder to shake her. But once again, what he could only describe as her aura, pulsated and sent a shock through the spirit. It felt like it was pulling at him, dragging him in.

He gasped in pain, feeling her thoughts and memories invade his head. His surroundings blurred and everything felt so loud. Colors burst into his vision and it felt like he was seeing stars.

Then, he heard sobbing in the distance. A woman, crying out, "I didn't mean for this to happen!"

Cole opened his eyes and looked around. Confused. He blinked and walked toward the commotion. Rocks floated around and the ground was covered in a thick layer of black sludge. It seemed to trickle off of the floating rocks like a mini waterfall. Slowly accumulating onto the ground.

"But you did, anyway. You couldn't even save me." An unfamiliar voice spoke to her. He walked closer, feet slowed due to the thick substance on the ground.

"And you took my place. Do you ever think you'll be forgiven for that? What would he think?" Another voice sneered, which sounded like Liz. Or, rather, Erin. "He's not your brother."

"I'm sorry..."

Then Cole saw it. A young woman, sitting on her knees. Her hands were in her long black hair, yanking and curling into herself. And in front of her, a despair and terror demon. They looked down at her, their claws scraping at the spherical barrier that seemed to shield her from their blows. But that didn't stop them from speaking. Making it appear as though they were someone else.

The woman on the ground. It was… Liz. She seemed paler than Erin, though still retained her tanned complexion. Taller, too. She looked up at the demons and cried out when Despair's claws hooked into the barrier and yanked on it. He could see, in her mind's eye, that Despair took the form of Elise. Her sister. Terror, Erin.

He saw them for what they truly were, but she didn't.

"Leave her alone!" He demanded, voice drowned out by Liz's cries. He stepped forward and swept his hand, unknowingly releasing a pulse of white energy. It seemed to envelope the area, the demons screamed and slowly dissipated.

When the light dimmed, their surroundings were different. The sound of soft waves crashing into rocks could be heard. Long grass swayed in the wind and the sun beat down on the two as they sat in the sandy patch of a beach.

Cole's eyes widened in fear when the woman began to look up, confused. Her brown eyes were turning to look behind her when the rogue willed himself away. He was ripped from the place and back into his body. He jarred into consciousness, eyes wild as he scrambled up from the stone floor.

His hands shook and he looked around for any danger. The sounds of her cries and the jeering taunts from the demons in the back of his mind. But, nothing. Silence.

A snore erupted from the woman's mouth, causing him to jump a little. In the dim lighting, he could see Liz sleeping on her bed. Brows no longer scrunched. No whimpers. Just snores.

Her mind was quiet, this time.

Shakily, he stood up and stumbled out of the room. Somehow, he felt drained.

What just happened?

His thoughts were plagued by that experience all night. Even as he did his usual runs around Skyhold. The Fortress was a massive place, making it that much harder for him to pop around and ease the minds of the wounded. The weak. The needy.

Then, they were getting ready to ride off down the mountain. It was a straight shot with the road, as Liz had described. She was to be the one leading the group to the shack, first. To check on her mentor. Then to the demon activity.

But, Cole stood beside the woman as she lingered near the stables. Her mind warring with itself about the situation at hand. He pulled, trying to find Athras. People were always connected with their loved ones. It made it easier for the spirit to help them. But… the connection was oddly blank. He'd never encountered that before. Usually he got a rush of thoughts, maybe a pinch of a memory. But never nothing. Not even if they were gone from this world.

Liz turned, eying the young man suspiciously. "What are you doing?"

He tilted his head, frowning down at the woman in concern. There was always one thing that bothered her. Maybe…

"The face is wrong, the name hurts. Sometimes you think this is all a dream, then it snaps into place. Pop. Prowling at the edges." He spoke softly, knowing everyone was too far away to hear. "Dreams don't hurt."

Her face twisted up into displeasure, pulling herself inward. Making it harder for him to see. Did she do it knowingly?

"I really don't appreciate you digging around in my head, spirit."

"It's spirit? Not demon?"

"There's a difference?" The small woman crossed her arms, feet tapping against the hay covered floor in the barn. Their party was saddling up their horses in the background, one of the barn doors open for them to see. Rin was standing out in the lower courtyard, grazing on the grass in the massive pasture guarded by the fortress.

"I'm helping." Thinking about it would help her, he reasoned. Knowing that forcing herself to put it aside was just straining at the edges. A temporary fix.

"No, you're dredging up things I'd rather not think about."

"Ignoring it hurts you even more." He explained, "Like a dam, swelling and threatening to burst. Cracks at the edges." He shifted, picking at the hems of his tattered gloves. He didn't look away from the woman, however. "I don't want you to break."

"I won't."

"'But it is an inevitability. Can't show it. Can't-'" He pulled from her head, making his point.

"Out!" She shooed him, waving her hand between the two. "I have to get ready."

He watched her leave, frowning.

The rogue approached, observing her as she gathered a saddle and halter. She wasn't like Sera, in that she was afraid and helping her only hurt. He could see that, now. Part of her wanted the help. But the other part of her was too afraid of it. Afraid of getting hurt. Afraid of dying.

Liz approached the animal, who turned to her and snorted in her face. This sent spittle into the mage's hair and eyes. She groaned and wiped at it furiously.

"Rin, seriously. Stop with this shit." Liz groaned, trying to get the saddle onto the hart. Cole watched in amusement as the young woman tried her heart out. "Athras might be in trouble."

At those words, the animal froze. She halted in her attempts to irritate the young mage and simply stood still. Cole tilted his head at the two, wondering about their connection with one another. They seemed to have this inherent understanding. She spoke to her like she was a person and Rin seemed to tease the young girl like she was merely a snot nosed child.

Liz had apologized for her attitude the day before, though she was irritated at the elf for just putting her to sleep with that spell of his. Cole had yet to confront Solas about his attempt to go around her wishes.

The small group galloped down the mountain, slowing down when needed. Rin's hooves seemed to dig into the snow in haste. Knowing of the dire situation their mutual friend may be in. Cole could feel it, too.

Not much was traded in terms of conversation as they headed down the path. It took them almost half the day to get there. Maxwell was on the lookout, remaining on their flank as he kept an eye out in the trees. Solas was beside Cole, flanking Liz as she galloped on ahead. Letting Rin take the lead and bring them to Athras' shack. Cassandra remained in front of the Inquisitor, occasionally looking back at him worriedly.

Cole didn't think anyone had a good feeling about this.

Especially when they reached their destination. Wood was piled on one side, along with a makeshift dome-like structure made out of animal skins and sticks.

But that wasn't what gave them pause. It was the sheer amount of bodies that seemed to surround the area. Nine, maybe ten Inquisition scouts lay dead in the snow. Some of their bodies mangled beyond recognition, limbs twisted in ways they shouldn't be. The group dismounted, pulling out their weapons and approaching with caution.

Cole's hairs rose when the air around them let out a sound, shifting and cracking in the air. The rogue gripped his daggers, eyes darting around for enemies. But there were none. Something didn't feel right. Something screamed in the back of his mind, telling them to run.

"Erin, wait. Erin." Maxwell hissed, trying to call out to his sister as she walked up to the shack. He footsteps were slow, almost hesitant as she approached. "Don't-"

She opened the door, a slow creaking noise echoing through the air around them. The stench of death seemed to billow out, permeating the air. Rot and the coppery smell of blood was the most prominent. Liz whined, taking a step back. He couldn't see her face, only her back. But he could tell that she was distressed.

"…. H-Hahren?" Liz sounded like a small child, just then. Cole saw it in front of her. That… that thing. It ambled slowly through the shack, it's body almost too big for the building.

She couldn't hear the yelling from behind her, nor the screeches of distress from Rin. The hart was behind the group with the other mounts, but refused to come any closer.

There was Athras, stepping his way out of the hut they'd once shared some time back. Or, at least it had the face of Athras. His white hair dangled in front of his face, his usual messy bun absent. His blind eye was open, but it was red. Blood red. It stared down at her, mouth splitting into a grin. Sharp, bloodstained teeth, glimmered down at the young woman.

It's form seemed to dwarf the young woman, who stood stock still. Almost unbelieving. His body was anything but humanoid. Long spindly arms with claws as big as her hand. The demon with Athras' face turned it's head, almost upside down.

"Oh, dear da'len. It's been so long." It spoke in his voice as his clawed hand came up to caress her cheek, causing her to flinch. Then, more eyes opened. All over his forehead, they rolled and looked down at her. "What did I say? I would take everything from you, love. You will be mine."

That last part was familiar, to the young woman. He could sense it. From some of the memories that he was able to snag. It's voice. The demon that constantly haunted her dreams. Her face twisted, fury spiking through her chest and buzzing through the air.

"How dare you!?" She screeched at it.

"Erin, get back!" Maxwell practically screamed, throwing his body forward in attempt to get to the young woman. To protect her. But it was too late. The thing raked it's claws into her shoulder, grasping onto her and holding her up like a ragdoll. Like some sort of prize.

The demon cackled, then let out a loud screech. This knocked the Inquisitor back onto his butt. The others were merely stunned. Cole was about to launch himself forward, when he felt it. Like a well threatening to burst. Fear was evident in Liz's gaze. Fear and pain and – Cole yelled, "Get back!"

Liz's body was enveloped in a blue barrier that Solas threw on everyone. Cassandra grabbed Maxwell, dragging him away and heeding the spirit's warning.

The screams that emitted from the otherworlder were ear-splitting. Animosity, agony—anguish tore through her throat. She couldn't control it, that time. It consumed her every thought.

The elven apostate threw up a huge wall of ice, shielding everyone just in time.

The woman was practically howling when the world around her lit up with reds and oranges. The thing that was holding her let out it's own pained cries, melding with her own in a symphony of sorrow.

Cole could feel tears springing to his eyes, feeling the waves of her heartache that seemed to roll off.

"Erin!" Maxwell cried out, being held back by the Seeker.

Their attempts were for naught. She couldn't hear them, no matter how much they called out to her. Then, it all stopped. Solas was standing with his staff held out in front of him, hands extended toward the wall of ice. Sweat slowly beaded down his brow as the wall shattered, revealing the young woman slumped over the charred form of her mentor.

Or, what used to be her mentor.

It was Cole who stepped forth first, knowing that she was herself. Not an abomination. The smell of charred meat floated through the air, smoke billowing from the dead scouts that had surrounded the small shack. The shack was nothing but a pile of embers, surrounded by charred dirt. The snow having been completely melted.

And in front of it, sat Liz. Liz, who knelt next to the elderly man. He could hear the crackle and pop that the bodies seemed to release. Athras' body twitched every now and again, even in death.

"It's not him. It's not him." He heard her muttering, slowly rocking back and forth. "It wasn't him anymore. It wasn't."

Cole crouched at her left, eyes warily observing her blank expression. Maxwell was the next to approach, getting a grunt of disapproval from Cassandra.

"She may not be herself!" Cassandra followed, sword still drawn. "Max—Inquisitor!"

A trembling hand was placed on her right shoulder as she sat on her knees, curled over the burnt body of her once-mentor. His face was black, eye sockets hollowed and burnt. Mouth opened as if in a scream. She cradled his head and he could hear how discordant her song was. How … off it seemed. The pain.

"Erin. Erin. Maker, Erin. Please answer me." Maxwell shook Erin's shoulder. But she wasn't responding, her thoughts, her feelings, everything seemed so distant. Too far. No matter how much Cole tried to grasp and bring her back.

Both men sat on either side of her, unsure of what to do. Neither having seen her in such a state.

Liz

The next thing she knew, she was riding atop Rin with someone's arms wrapped around her waist. She blinked, taking in her surroundings slowly. Sluggishly. They were approaching Skyhold. She didn't even ask about the apparent blank in her memory. She didn't care. She just didn't—

The young woman wriggled, feeling the arms around her waist loosen.

"Erin?" Maxwell asked from behind her. But it was as if she didn't hear him as she hopped off of the blue hart. Rin made no move to nip or nudge her as usual, her head hanging low. Liz stood on the bridge to Skyhold, noting the saddened looks shot her way as they continued into the fortress.

"Erin, please talk to me."

Everything seemed to weigh down on the small mage as she stood at the gates of Skyhold with a listless look upon her features. Her brown gaze scanned the mountains and she couldn't help the weight that seemed to settle inside of her chest. She couldn't ignore it this time, the pushing and crushing pain that seemed to come with the realization that she'd never be able to see her Hahren ever again.

Then, like a snowball. It all came crashing down. Everything seemed to seep through her box. The box that she stuffed things into. Later. Never.

She would never be able to go home.

Even now, Liz didn't consider this place home. She doubted she ever would, not with the warm and welcoming memories that seemed only to taunt her in her dreams at night. Instead of dreams offering solace, it tore into her and the chasm in her chest seemed only to grow. Day by day. It festered like an old wound.

Would she ever see her family again? Athras had been the closest thing to home she'd had, she realized.

He was gone.

So, for the first time in what felt like ages, the dam burst. Liz had tried so hard to keep her emotions at bay. Nothing but a dull ache in her chest and a flittering thought. She hadn't the time to sort through what was. Only what was now.

She hardly ever allowed herself enough time to grieve, even since her arrival. It'd been a struggle to live. Her mind constantly occupied by that very thought. Almost as if intentional. An unhealthy coping mechanism.

But right then, it was nearly impossible. Her chest felt like it'd split open, her eyes widened in fear. The cold air bit into her skin as she stood at the entrance of Skyhold in the snow.

Then came the silent sobs. They wracked her body like an earthquake, rippling through her chest and through her throat. But the young mage didn't make a peep. Couldn't, as she collapsed into the snow on her knees with her hands in her hair. Liz tugged, yanked. She felt her hair coming out of her scalp as she gasped and tried to breathe through the sobs.

It hurt. Oh gods, it hurt so much. Why did it hurt so much?

A hiccup burst passed her chapped lips without her consent. The chilled mountain air bit into her damp cheeks, bringing in the stark realization that she was crying. Crying for the first time in a long long while. Crying for the first time since she'd arrived.

Crying was weakness. Weakness on Thedas meant death. It was what Liz came to associate it to, anyway. Liz wasn't weak. She made sure of that.

"Erin?" Maxwell called, still right next to her. She blinked, trying to clear her blurry vision. "You shouldn't be in the snow, it's too cold and-"

His footsteps were but a few feet away now, yet the woman refused to turn to look at him. She cut him off with one swift transformation, her body shrinking and the world becoming larger.

"H-Hey!" Her brother from this world tried to stop her as she darted between his legs and into the fortress, her paws digging into the cold dirt.

Her name wasn't Erin. It wasn't!

The fact that she had transformed into a cat in the open didn't even seem to register. Maxwell was the only one that knew of her second shapeshifter transformation (that she knew of). Other than perhaps Leliana, that is.

Up the stairs, her little paws pitter pattered on the stone. Left and into the grass toward the Birch tree that she often spent her time in. The evening sun made the leaves look even more vibrant as they fluttered to the ground.

Liz came to an abrupt stop, her small body shaking with sobs that this form couldn't properly express. The only thing she could do was slink low and let out pained sounding huffs, ears laying flat against her skull.

Something shifted in her peripheral and her sharp gaze flicked in it's direction, focusing in on-

It was Cole. Of course it was. He was approaching, stringy hair hiding his eyes. The rogue's mouth was screwed into a concerned frown as he bent down. "Come here."

She didn't protest. She couldn't. Her vision felt like it was getting hazy, everything felt like too much. The young mage's thoughts spiraled, remembering her death. Elise's death. Her killing all of those innocent mages. It all played back to her, guilt and agony overwhelming as she tried to curl into herself.

She felt completely and utterly alone.

"You aren't alone." Was the first thing he said, arms holding the cat tightly against his chest. Liz could feel him as he slowly stood up and began walking somewhere. The world shifted and bounced, but the mage didn't seem to care. Nothing seemed to matter at that point and she began to feel lightheaded.

Then they stopped.

Her ears felt like they were full of cottonballs and she could have sworn he was saying something, but it refused to register. Cole's hands clasped around her waist and tried to pry her off of his chest, her claws instinctively clutched on.

"...have to..." He was talking lowly as his fingers gently pulled her paws off of his patchy longsleeve, "But you need to breathe. Take deep breaths, Liz."

Just like that, she could hear again. He knew. He knew? All this time?

Of course he did. The rogue wasn't stupid, by any means. Then, it broke. Her hold on her transformation popped and she was sitting in his lap, sobbing. Liz didn't even seem to care. The room was dark, stone floors and walls. Broken furniture. They were in one of the towers along the walls. The room was dusty and unused, denoting lack of traffic.

It was there that she broke.

"I-I won't … won't—" She choked, trying to speak between the hiccups. "Won't see him e-ever again. A-And my—my family-"

Oh, Gods. Her family. Even though there had been a fight between them all, she still cared deeply for her aunts and uncles. Even though she was mad at her parents, she still loved them. But she would never have the chance to make amends. Never have the chance to talk to them. Never.

"Your hurt touches theirs. They miss you, too. 'Should have listened. I was too harsh on the girls. Why did this have to happen?'" Cole informed softly, but it only seemed to reopen the old wounds she felt. Liz curled up tighter and tried not to let him know how much that only seemed to make her feel worse. Of course they missed her. How could she only think of herself like that? It wasn't just her that was mourning loss, here. "N-No! I made it worse! I t-tried to. I tried to make it better, but I just tore it!"

The only thing she could do was shake her head, thinking to herself that it was the thought that counted. She just needed to ride it out. Liz remembered reading about grief. But she didn't know how to apply it to herself. So she just sat there.

'I really have an ugly cry.' She thought, trying to pull herself together. Cole was holding onto her, hands clutched against her wolf fur cloak. Keeping her still.

"Memories like a picture, burned into the back of her eyelids. Hurts. It hurts." He spoke in a lilting tone, "I want to make it stop. But I can't."

"I-I'm so-orry."

"You're … apologizing? Why? You don't need to."

He fretted for awhile, minutes maybe. The words that came out of his mouth only seemed jumbled, silent, but yet he did nothing to push her away. If anything, Cole seemed to welcome Liz into his personal space as he held onto her. Comforted her in the most human way possible.

"No... No I-I am fine." She tried to reassure once her voice returned and her body was no longer quivering. Well, not as much as before. "I didn't mean to…. Fall apart on you like that."

"Did it help?" He asked, though she could tell he already knew the answer.

"Yes. Thank you." She sniffled, wiping at her face with her arm warmers. She probably looked like an absolute wreck right then, eyes red and puffy. Face flushed and hair sticking to her face from her breakdown.

Liz felt somehow… empty. The sobs that had wracked her body took a lot out of her, leaving her tired. So the woman slumped, slowly crawling out of the rogue's personal bubble.

"We are here. Serana, Jade, Maxwell. You are not alone, I am here." He spoke words she really needed to hear at that moment.

'He is my friend.' She realized with a snort, remembering the circumstances in which they met. She'd long since forgiven him for that, however. He'd proven himself to her. Apologized and tried to make amends. They were both in a bad place, back then. But that didn't excuse any of the stuff they did.

He wasn't just some scary demon, a monster from her past. He, too, was a person. Something she'd had a hard time believing. But now she saw. He was just different. He was… him. Cole.

"...Thank you."