"Maker, Have Mercy"

Liz was standing above their bodies, eyes scanning the still forms that lined the cavern floor. They'd holed up in here. A small scouting group. These… bandits. Her fingers twitched, her lips pulling into a frown. It wasn't enough.

"Y-You'll let me go now, right?" The lone figure that was alive stuttered, staring up at the angered mage as she glared menacingly down at him. Almost comical, considering how small she was in comparison to him. But…

Liz tilted her head, this man? He'd given her what she needed. Who his leader was. Who was responsible for Auri's death. She'd promised to let him live, yet.

"I've changed my mind." She stated coldly, allowing her arm to encase itself with lightning. It illuminated the man's battered and bruised face, eyes wide in terror. The bloodied rogue scrambled to stand up. He limped and tried to run in the opposite direction, but the mage lunged forward and shoved her arm through the back of his chest. She could still remember how it felt when his skin broke, bones crunching and organs popping beneath her magic encased hand. Her hand erupted on the other side, causing him to cough up the red fluid and stare down at it in shock. Horror as he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"People like you don't deserve to live." Liz had stated from behind him.

Liz knew now that this statement was wrong. She was watching it in the Fade. That's right. That's what this was. She twitched when she heard the sickening squelch as the Fade-version of her pulled her arm out of his torso, flicking her arm to the side and sending an arc of hot fluid slapping against the cave wall.

"But it didn't stop there, did it?" A familiar voice echoed in her head, causing the mage's eyes to widen. The memory flickered and stuttered, replaying like a broken disk. Liz saw herself pulling her arm out of his body, again. Again. Again. Her regret on display for the demon.

Her eyes couldn't leave.

Dread filled her core.

"You pathetic little thing. Trying to make up for your sins. Your mistakes. Your friends trusted you, all you could do was this." It sneered, "He had a family, you know. He was so young, naive. Didn't know what he'd gotten himself into. And look?"

She stared at the young man as the memory began to play again, his body falling to the ground with a wet slop. He couldn't have been more than 18. Eyes dulled, mouth open as if to scream. But he couldn't.

"You killed him."

"SHUT UP!" Liz screamed and sat up from her sleep, chest heaving. Her brown eyes were wild as they looked around her room, searching for the enemy. The demon that—that demon.

The woman let out a shriek of rage.

Cole

(Moments earlier)

The rogue was standing at the entrance to the main hall talking to his friend, Solas. The elven apostate was asking him how he was acclimating to Skyhold and its people. He was worried, he could tell. He'd long since gotten over what'd happened awhile back with Liz. Solas had apologized for it and it'd resulted in dozens of questions about why he was so protective of the mage.

Which he, himself, couldn't fully comprehend either. He'd simply been told to be careful.

"I like it here." Cole finally replied to the bald apostate, getting a slight nod out of him. He turned and looked over the expanse of Skyhold. The view from the front of the main hall was nice, allowing a panoramic view of the whole front part of the fortress.

"You like it? What of your purpose? Have you been feeling any adverse changes?"

"….No. Liz is helping me help, teaching me how to do it right. Sometimes it's wrong." He tilted his head, hiding much of his face from his friend. "It's … hard."

"Liz? Are you talking about Erin?" He rose a brow at the rogue.

"Yes. Hearing it makes her happy. A name beneath the name. It's who she is."

Solas opened his mouth to ask a question, he could feel the curiosity welling up when—a shriek of absolute rage erupted from the Trevelyan's quarters.

It echoed through the upper courtyard, even causing a few from the main hall to stop their conversation. They looked around, as if looking for the source. Cole's eyes widened when he felt it rippling through the air, tearing like parchment. Yanking on him. Calling out to him.

Without saying anything, he turned and darted toward the entrance of their room. Heedless to the following footsteps of his friend as they threw the door open and ran toward the staircase. The men could hear crashing and screaming coming from upstairs.

"Erin!" Solas called from behind Cole, who appeared at the top of the stairs.

It was an absolute mess. Some of the dressers were charred. Maxwell's desk was on fire and the books from the bookshelves were scattered haphazardly among the main room. Liz sat in the middle of it all, heaving in lungfuls of air as she stared at the carpet like it'd been the one that wronged her.

Cole approached the angered mage, seeing Solas put out the fire in his peripheral. "...Liz? Liz, look at me."

She felt far away. Even when he tried to grasp. Only for it to snap into place, her eyes filling with fury.

"It's alive!" She gritted through her teeth, "It's. Still. Alive."

"Erin, what are you talking about?" Solas was the one, this time. Cole had no idea what to do, so he searched. Waited for something to surface.

"The demon that killed Athras! He's alive." She snapped, causing the elf's brows to raise.

"Please, sit down." Solas spoke softly, motioning toward the white couch. Which, miraculously, remained untouched. The young mage breathed heavily, but didn't protest when her spirit friend began to lead her toward the seat. She sat down and took long deep breaths. "I'd been meaning to confront you about what I heard it say to you that day, but didn't know when would be a good time. I suppose now is a good time as any."

Liz's hands clenched and Cole crouched in front of her, making eye contact with the furious little woman. The top of her head brushed against the lip of his hat as he spoke in a low tone, "He wants you. He's always wanted you. 'Break her down, build her up.' Soon. Soon. You won't let it."

"So you've had previous encounters with this demon?" Solas asked.

"Yes..." Liz breathed, "As… as long as I can remember."

He could see her, a younger her, crying and running from the darkness. Dark tendrils growing and grabbing—grasping at her. But she was always too fast. Just out of reach.

"'I can feel it. Can hear it. Sense it. But can't see it. Always watching.'" He relayed what he saw, trying to put it into words. It was hard, sometimes. Letting people know what he saw, what he felt. Sometimes it just couldn't translate.

"I've… never seen it." She confirmed, wincing at what the spirit said. Saying it only seemed to harm her further. The rogue fretted, hands coming up and grabbing onto hers. Unsure. She stared down at their joined hands in curiosity, "It's never been able to catch me, though. I used to… have a friend. When I was a child."

The young woman leaned back and shuddered, looking up at Solas. She made no move to pull her hands away, though. Which Cole was grateful for.

"Was it a spirit?" Solas asked.

"I… think so. He pushed it away when it got too close. He was there for me when I was small. But..." 'He's gone. He left. Like everyone else.'

Cole felt his chest squeeze, something niggling in the back of his head. But he ignored it in favor of helping his friend.

"Wasn't your family part of the Chantry? You're rather receptive to the idea of communing with spirits for someone who's been raised by devout Andrastians."

"What the Hell is this, an interrogation?" And she closed up, just like that. It had been within reach, but she pulled in on herself. Afraid. "You seem to get a lot of your 'knowledge' from the Fade. What reason do you have to lie, Solas?"

"What?" He tensed.

"I'm young but not naive. How many times do I have to say that? Always telling half-truths. I lie, too. But at least I tell the truth sometimes." Liz spoke bitterly, turning her gaze from the man. "You always act like you're walking on glass around me. Like I'm about to turn into a monster and eat you. I get it. I'm young. I'm untrained. But I won't become an abomination. I'm stronger than that." She turned, eyes full of anger. Her lips curled in resentment, "Got it?"

"I… I hadn't realized I was coming off that way, I apologize."

She sighed, anger fizzling out as she pulled her hands away from Cole and covered her face. "Damn it." The otherworlder groaned, "I'm sorry, Solas. That was…. Uncalled for."

"Do people often tell you these things?"

"Not verbally, but … I can see it. Sometimes not even just their face, but like a sense of sorts. You're a mage, don't you know?" The young mage peeked through her fingers, the windows allowing a halo of sunlight to embrace her brown locks. Cole shifted away, examining her face as she spoke. So expressive. She seemed to let her guard down around the two. She trusted them. Solas, too? No. Not trust, but safety. Sees him and sees elder.

She was changing. Something about it made him nervous. He'd changed before, too. But changing meant losing his friends. Changing for her meant gaining friends? How was it different? Where was it different?

Then, after some deliberation, the apostate answered the young woman.

"And why do you think that is?" He asked cryptically, not really much of an answer. Really.

"There it is again. You know, I'm not really fond of dancing around subjects. If you have something to say, just say it." She was looking up at him and he appeared to consider her statement.

"…. Perhaps another time." With that, he was off. The elf retreated down the stairs, believing she was calm enough to leave alone now. Cole stared at the destroyed room, knowing that Maxwell would not be happy. Especially since some of the things that were burned were documents that Josephine had told him to go over.

"Cole, what is wrong with that man?" Liz asked in a huff, irritated at Solas' antics.

"He keeps me out, like you. It's harder to listen. He only lets me see sometimes."

"...Figures."

"He is worried about you. He looks at you and sees friend. Companion. Like me." Cole smiled at the young woman and he could see her face begin to turn pink. "Solas won't hurt you, I promise."

The woman leaned back and observed the spirit, who tilted his head in curiosity. She took in his blank expression and crossed her arms.

"Sorry, bud. I don't trust anyone."

"You trust me." Cole couldn't keep the cheerful tone out of his voice that time. He knew she trusted people. Sometimes she just said words that didn't mean anything. Like a lie, but not. To keep herself safe. She trusted Maxwell, Serana, even Jade. He was glad he was among those she trusted.

"Shush, you smug little bastard."

"I am not smug." He protested.

"I saw the little quirk in your lips. You're smug." Liz's nose crinkled as she smiled, a small laugh bursting from her lips. He could feel his heart squeeze at the sight. Maker, she was beautiful when she was happy. Having forgotten about her dream. All she saw right then was him. Him.

Cole.

He decided, then, that he would continue to try and see that smile. That little light that flickered everytime she brightened. He remembered just then, what he was going to ask Solas. But now he was busy. He'd intended to give Liz a gift, of sorts.

Intent on completing his task, he didn't even hesitate to turn and leave. He heard Liz huff in annoyance, but didn't object to his sudden departure. She'd gotten used to it, it seems.

The rogue practically flew over to the Herald's Rest and up the stairs, paying no heed to the sounds of the patrons or the smell that seemed to permanently go with the building. He stopped near his perch and grabbed the object, his fingers grazing gently across the grooves of the wood. It felt foreign to him. It didn't feel right. He wasn't it's owner.

It called out her name. It knew her name. It was meant for her.

He twirled and seemed to blend with the shadows as he held it in his palms, opening the door and going onto the ramparts. There were less people this way, he reasoned. The spirit shifted, moving with fluid ease as he listened for his friend. Cole's blonde hair tickled the bridge of his nose as he tilted his head, watching as she left the main hall and walked into the gardens.

Perfect.

It was warmer than usual out, that day. Not that it ever deterred his little mage friend. The young woman was outside whether it be cold or hot, rainy or clear. She seemed to enjoy it, nonetheless. Not once had he ever heard her complain about the weather. Not even in Crestwood when she was drenched to the bone and shivering like a wet Mabari.

When he entered the garden, his boots carefully trodding along the dirt and cobblestone pathway that seemed to wind through the entirety of the area. Trees of all colors shot through into the sky, bursting with orange and red hues. Like Autumn, even though it wasn't. It was beautiful. She thought so, too. If not from what he could hear in her heart, but from the look upon her face as she stared up at the massive tree near the center of Skyhold gardens. Her brown hair shifted as the wind gently licked her face, her small hand pressed against the rough bark of the tree.

"If you listen closely, you can hear it reaching for the sun." He stated from behind her, not even getting a jump from the woman. The otherworlder was hard to scare. Her senses always seemed too keen.

"You know. I get the distinct feeling you're just trying to scare me, Cole." She didn't even turn her gaze from the tree when she spoke. Her finger trailed along the grooves of it, her brown eyes half-lidded.

Well, she wasn't wrong. Cole would admit, part of him was curious if he could get her to startle.

"But, yes. The trees, the plants. They get their energy from the sun. It would make sense if they … 'reached for the sun' as you say." Liz explained, appearing as though she wanted to elaborate even further. Only for her mouth to screw into a frown, her head shaking as she deemed it unimportant. Her gaze slid from the tree and over to the young rogue, who stood there awkwardly. Unsure of himself.

Would she like it? It was hers, afterall.

He held it in front of him, the long staff an odd weight in his hand. It looked similar to the one she often carried with her, only with a conglomeration of branches at the top that seemed to spike in random directions. The wood was worn—weathered. Atop the staff, a black crow feather was tied. Along with a few beads and cat fur.

It was Athras' staff.

The rogue stared down at it, listening. It'd been his for a long while. He held it, honed his skills. Cared for it as his body, too, withered over time. The staff, still of use. His body. Not. The trinkets helped with concentration for her forms. He'd… he'd intended to give it to her.

The elder had known of his eventual passing. He just hadn't known he would end up possessed and killed by his student.

Cole winced at that thought and looked up at his friend, who was frozen in place. Recognition rang true on her features as her hands shook, fingers gingerly taking the staff out of the rogue's hands. It was quiet, save for the faint flap of the Inquisition's banner behind him. The trees rustled and the woman looked up at him, eyes glassy with tears.

"W-Where did you find this?" She croaked, holding it up close to her chest.

"Leliana's scouts found it. Near the shack where he died. It was meant for you, when you returned." He explained, seeing the grief build in her eyes. But it wasn't nearly as overwhelming as it was just weeks ago. "It was his. But he knew, he was weak and—oof!"

He grunted when she barreled into him, her arms encircling his waist. Her head was buried in his chest and he stood there, his hands held out. Unsure how to react. Cole stared down at the woman, feeling his heart pick up it's pace in his chest. Threatening to burst.

She was so close to him. When the young woman nuzzled against him, he gently put his own arms around her. Her scent wafted into his nose and she smelled faintly of leather and wood shavings.

"L-Liz." He choked out, feeling his throat close up. She only seemed to squeeze him even tighter, his face growing redder by the second. It was foreign, the feeling that he had just then. He'd been hugged before. By Rhys, his friend at the Spire. But—never had he ever had the urge to hold him closer. Or—or thread his fingers through his hair.

When she peeked up at him, he had to have been as red as a tomato. The mage's eyes widened and she let go, practically leaping away from him. Her eyes were wide in near horror and Cole felt his stomach flip. Had she realized? Could she sense his intentions? Maybe his thoughts, too? Was she-

"I-I apologize. Was I squeezing too hard?" She reacted to his reddened face, completely misinterpreting it. Fortunately for him. He had to suppress the urge to sigh in relief. Cole simply sat there and pulled at the ends of his hair with one of his hands, eyes darting everywhere but hers.

"I-It's… It's okay, I-" Cole willed himself invisible, pulling at the Fade and becoming no more than a shimmer as he swiftly moved away from her. Heedless to the confused look on his friend's face as he retreated. Up into the ramparts and into one of the abandoned towers, he slammed the door shut and pressed his back against the freezing wall.

His fingers dug into the stone, eyes focusing in on the holes in the ceiling. The birds that claimed it as its home stared down at the intruder, tilting their heads simultaneously. He focused. Listened to them. Anything to still his beating heart.

Maker, have mercy.

Liz

With Maxwell gone to the Western Approach, Liz was left alone for the coming weeks. They seemed to pass at a snail's pace, her days as routine as they could get. The Inquisitor was to be away for a long while, since the trip there was a whole three weeks on horseback. He'd specifically left her in charge of making any decisions in his place, stating that he trusted her judgment. She intended not to let him down, if the situation called for it. She would think to herself, 'What would Maxwell do?'

So she worked in the healing tents. Most of the time was spent fretting over whether the equipment was sterilized or if the stations were clean. They didn't seem to understand her paranoia, no matter how many times she tried to explain to them. Dirty = infection.

The young woman knew that if she tried to delve into the basics of her world and germs, they wouldn't even be able grasp the concept. The surgeon showed promise, at first. But when she started spouting about balancing the humors, Liz gave up.

As for the staff Cole had found for her…

It'd been her mentors, of course. She'd been more than overjoyed when she received it from the spirit. Liz was still eternally grateful that he even went out of his way to find it. Would Leliana have given it to her? Or perhaps kept it? She didn't know.

The mage flipped through a book that Solas had given her. Thanks to Silas, her reading level was that of a small child's. She was usually a quick study, but the language here didn't seem as easy. The odd symbols gave her a headache most of the time.

She squinted at the dusty old book that the apostate had given her from the library. It was about sigils and runes of all types. It wasn't something that her Hahren had covered, in any case. Liz had found some odd carvings along the worn wood of the staff. Of which, she didn't know.

Her finger trailed across the worn parchment and traced the circular patterns. They were drawn almost perfectly, with something akin to lettering blotting the circumference of the drawing.

"They are spell sigils." The elf stood behind her, her staff resting on his desk. His thin fingers pointed out some of the ones that matched in the books. "They appear to have been carved along the shaft to allow easier channeling and control."

Liz flipped the page, barely able to make out half of the terms that dotted the text. "You know, this is the staff that he used to hit me with." She turned and smirked up at the man, who looked puzzled.

"Why would he want to do that?"

"Well, he was teaching me how to dodge. I wasn't always as fast as I am. It is an important skill for a battle medic, afterall. I go down, so does the team." She explained, gaze slipping back to the book on the elf's desk. Chatter up on the second floor was quiet with the occasional thumping of someone walking around. "It helped that it was encased in lightning."

"That is one way to motivate your student."

"Motivation." Liz snorted and she heard him chuckle, only to cover it up with a cough. She'd tried to ask Dorian to help her, but his explanations on the matter didn't seem to make sense to the young mage. His style of casting was all about flair. A more artsy way of learning, to put it simply. But expending more mana than normal simply to 'look amazing' didn't seem to register to her. Her way of thinking was built solely for efficiency. Methodical thinking.

Solas, on the other hand. He relied on books and his teaching style, to most, would seem almost rigid. He lectured her, almost like she were in a class. This, she could get. Liz felt she gained more from the more technical side of things as opposed to the flashy teaching style of the Tevinter above.

Not that she had anything against the man, of course.

He was certainly … an odd one. Sassy, for sure. He, like her, seemed to prefer storm magic above all else. He was also a necromancer. Definitely not something she, herself, would be interested in learning. But it was a nice tidbit of information, nonetheless. Dorian was the one that'd saved her back at Haven when she was in the middle of having a breakdown. To that, she was grateful.

"Oh, right." Liz dug around in her pocket and fished out a small wooden sculpture she'd carved. It was small and fit in the palm of her hand as she presented it to the apostate. His brows rose as he grabbed the thing gently, flipping it around between his fingertips. "It's just a trinket I made. A thank you for putting up with my moodiness as of late, I suppose."

"But… why a wolf?" He asked. A wolf, it was. The wooden sculpture was of a wolf sitting on its haunches, staring off to the side.

"I heard you talking about wolves. You seem to respect them." She looked up at the walls of the rotunda, marveling at the beautiful painting he'd been working on moments before she entered his room. "You paint them alot, too."

"Thank you."

"No problem." Liz turned and looked at him, "I just hope that you don't mind… but I'm wearing wolf pelts right now."

"I figured as such. They appeared to be from a great black wolf, located in the southernmost areas of Ferelden." The elf dragged his fingertip over the top of the small wood sculpture as he walked around the room. "Any particular reason why you kept them? You seem to be rather fond of them."

"Well, I suppose I am. I was attacked by them and in a fit of revenge, I now wear their skin." She stifled her laughter, especially when he looked up at the young woman. The crinkle of his nose was almost imperceptible. "Joke. It's a joke, Solas. They did attack me, but I've always been taught not to waste what Mother Nature gives to us. Meat, furs, even the bones."

At that, his mouth opened and he let out an 'ahhh' noise. Understanding. "What of the intestines?"

"Fishing bait. Mulch." She shrugged. "My Hahren knew how to make a pretty good stew out of the liver and heart."

"Of wolves?"

"Any animal, really. Don't tell Cole, but I really preferred the nug stew." The young mage peered around the room, almost expecting him to pop out. "Any of the carnivorous wildlife seemed a little too gamey for my liking. But I didn't complain. Food was food."

"You know, one of the servants employed by mother cooked the most scrumptious roasted nug." Dorian sighed from above, causing the two down below to twitch in surprise. Liz peered up, seeing him leaning against the railing with an almost wistful look on his face, "I don't suppose you know how to cook the little things, do you?"

Had he really been listening the whole time? She didn't really take him for an eavesdropper. Though, she barely knew the man.

"Unfortunately not. Cooking isn't really my forte." It was always her sister's. The thought caused a brief wave of despair to erupt in her chest, only to slowly fade. Elise wouldn't want this. Liz stood up from Solas' desk. She straightened her back and grunted at the satisfying pop that followed.

"Perhaps you could get your sassy little friend to take a request, hmmm?"

"Aren't you friends with Jade? Why don't you ask?" Liz rose a brow.

"She's a feisty little thing, if a little unhinged. But no, the woman practically lives in the kitchens. Like a troll, she is." He chuckled and scratched at the small patch of hair on his chin. "I've seen the way she makes her assistants scatter like roaches. I'm surprised she doesn't have her magister license. She's got the evil cackle down pat."

"I don't… wait, dwarves can be magisters? But I thought-" The little human was cut off.

"When did you graduate from Killjoke University?"

"Oh." She felt like an idiot and couldn't even resist the urge to facepalm. Her hand dragged across her face and she even heard Solas sigh at her idiocy. Or maybe it was from Dorian. The two seemed to get into some banter every once and awhile.

"I would like to request that you keep your voices down, as it will likely disrupt others in the library." A woman spoke from beside Dorian. A tranquil that Liz knew as Helisma.

"Sorry, dear. I didn't realize I was being so loud." Dorian apologized and straightened from his perch, "I have research of my own to attend to, unfortunately. So I cannot grace you with my presence for much longer."

Oh, the horror.

Liz suppressed the urge to snort.

That's when the door to the rotunda was thrown open, the wood slamming against the stone. Unfortunately, she couldn't suppress the surprised squeak that left her lips just then.

'THUD!'

Liz whirled around, mindless to the distressed squawking from above as the birds freaked out. Cole practically stomped into the room, a couple pieces of parchment crumpled in his hand. As if he'd been squeezing it too hard.

So much for the silence Helisma requested.

"Cole? What's wrong?" Liz asked, staring at her friend. He seemed paler than usual.

"They're binding demons." He shoved the letters in her hands, which she fumbled with. Barely able to keep them between her fingers. "The Wardens are binding demons."

"Binding demons? That's possible?" She asked, looking down at the letter and squinting. They were letters from Maxwell, she realized. She'd requested to keep her updated, so she knew he wasn't dead. Cole must have listened to him through her letters. Unless he actually gave her a full on report. She turned to Solas and held it to him, as if to ask him to give it a once over.

Her sitting there trying to sound out the words would take too long. She hoped the elf could just read it and give her the gist of it.

Hopefully.

"Would that be alright?" He seemed hesitant, almost as if he wasn't sure whether or not to accept the offered letters.

"Yes, if you wouldn't mind."

He grabbed the two letters and tried to smooth out the crumples, his grey eyes scanning the hastily scrawled symbols. The elf let out a low 'hmmm' and flipped to the next one. The concentrated look on his face twitched, as if disturbed, only for it to disappear. His gaze flicked up to the two. Liz stood there, confused as ever. Cole, however, was shifting uncomfortably. As if he were about to explode.

"Yes. It is a blood magic ritual, however. Doing so is incredibly dangerous and harmful to the spirit involved." He held the parchment out to Liz, who took it from him with a frown. "It appears as though the Warden mages are doing so at the behest of Corypheus. The Inquisitor encountered someone by the name of Livius Erimond at the ritual tower."

"It's probably a good thing that Cole didn't go with, then." She stated, feeling slightly relieved. But that didn't seem to do anything for her friend. If anything, he seemed to grow even more distressed at her obvious dismissal of what was in the letter.

"I-I can't let that happen to me. I can't be that." The spirit pulled at his blonde hair nervously, "If they can do it, someone else will. Can. Walls around what I want, blocking, bleeding—making me into a monster."

"Whoa whoa, let's breathe here okay." Liz approached the nervous rogue, hands held out like he was a skittish animal. "Cole, listen-"

"You guys wouldn't let me do that. You're mages. Bind me!"

Liz took a step back, as if slapped in the face. Her words slipped out, unbidden. "You've got to be fucking joking."

"This isn't a joke, Liz! You don't understand." He sounded absolutely shaken and she had no idea how to placate him. "S-Solas, you like demons. You have to help me, please."

"Erin, please. You're not helping." Solas spoke from behind her, appearing at her right. He put his hand on Cole's shoulder and spoke softly, "Spirits. I enjoy the company of spirits. It's part of the reason why I don't abuse them with my magic."

"But it's not abuse if I ask!"

"That's not true and you know it!" Liz snapped. "None of the mages here even practice blood magic, Cole. Doing so would put both the mage and you at risk, anyway! Blood mages are killed. Besides that, what if… what if it takes away the parts of you that are you?"

The young woman was beginning to sound just as upset as the spirit, her hands gripping her furs angrily.

"Helping makes me who I am. I help the hurting. That is what I do, all I do. Am. Me!"

"And if it erases your mind? Your consciousness?" Solas posed the questions, sounding almost angered at the very thought.

"You guys wouldn't let me hurt innocent people. I-I don't want to hurt innocent people again."

"T-This is a little extreme though, isn't it? Cole, you won't hurt innocent people. I promise." Liz grabbed his hand, determination burning in her eyes. "Whether it be finding a way to make you safe or stopping you myself if it ever comes to that. I promised, remember? Please—just… just breathe. Think about what you're even suggesting, here."

Just saying it. That she would stop him. Kill him. For whatever reason, it made something inside of her chest squeeze. As if the mere thought itself was more terrifying than dying. Liz knew – she realized, that she didn't ever want to lose her friend.

Not again. Please not again.

"I have an idea, if Cole is willing to listen." Solas' tone was clipped, his hands retreated behind his back as he examined the two of them. Liz noticed how he seemed to stare at their joined hands in curiosity before continuing. "I recall stories used by Rivaini seers to protect spirits they summoned from rival mages. A spirit wearing the Amulet of the Unbound was immune to blood magic and binding. It should protect Cole, too."

"That's good! I could ask Leliana or Josephine if they could help us out with that. I'm sure Maxwell would agree to finding this, if it meant keeping Cole safe." Liz latched onto the piece of information, feeling hope. "He knows as well as I that the safety of our comrades takes precedence."

"Good. They will not take me." He turned to leave and Liz flinched when he pulled away. He didn't even look at her as he stormed away and out the doors to the main hall. She stared at the closed door, a frown set on her face.

She turned and looked at her elven friend, for once not hiding her fear. "Solas, will he be okay?"

"Don't worry. So long as he remains in Skyhold until we get the amulet, he should be fine." He explained, turning back to his desk and looking through some notes. Liz opened and closed her mouth, about to blurt out her thoughts. But she bit her tongue.

The young mage was afraid. So afraid. She wasn't sure how she'd even react if something like that would ever befall her friend. She never even thought it an option. It would have been different in the beginning, back when he first joined the Inquisition. But she'd be lying to herself if she said she hadn't gotten fond of the young man. So much so, that it almost scared her. Though, she'd probably feel the same way if Maxwell or Serana were to get into the same level of life threatening danger.

Liz sighed and ruffled her hair in frustration, "I don't know what to do."

"Just do what you've been doing. It is my understanding that you've been assisting him with helping the people of Skyhold?"

"Uh… yeah. I'm sure that things work differently in the Fade and he seems a little out of his element at times. So… I've been trying to explain to him alternative ways to approach certain situations." Her fingers twitched, remembering some of the times they'd sat down and simply talked. They flashed, memories flooding her mind. She wanted to reach out to him, now. Comfort him. "I think I've been helping. I'm not sure. People still seem put off by him."

"He is a Spirit of Compassion. The only advice I may offer is that you see that he does not deviate from his purpose." He peered up at the young mage and she gave him a nod.

"I wouldn't want to cause him any undue harm." She admitted, "But I really should get going… thank you. Really."

With that, she was off. The youngest Trevelyan went to Josephine first, who just so happened to be in her office reading through some letters addressed to the Inquisitor. Initially, she'd felt bad for interrupting. But she could see how grateful the Ambassador was for actually having a chance to do something else.

As it seemed, she knew of some people that might know what she was talking about. In fact, if things went smoothly it might even have arrived by the time Maxwell got back from his trip in the Western Approach.

Evidently he was to return. He'd probably mentioned it in the letter, but she was having a hard time reading all of it that second. She'd probably have to consult Silas, since asking anyone to read it to her would seem suspicious. No one, that she knew of, was aware of her illiteracy. Liz wanted to keep it that way.

Ever since their confrontation in the Rotunda with Solas, Cole had been avoiding Liz. This didn't seem to bother her at first, but after some deliberation she was starting to get irritated by it. Even after she openly began searching for him. But he was nowhere to be found.

Almost a week, now.

The mage grumbled something unintelligible underneath her breath as she grabbed a vial off of the shelf. She turned and handed it to the young man sitting on the cot, "Here, take this. It should help with the pain. But otherwise it looks like it's healing pretty nicely. Just take it easy."

With that, she sent him out of the infirmary. He walked with a limp as he shut the door gently behind him. The young mage finished organizing some things before another figure entered soon after. Already?

Her gaze snapped in the direction, spotting Adan. The elderly man grunted, "Alright, go on kid. Git."

"But my shift doesn't end for another hour." She nearly complained but he waved her off, moving passed her without even glancing in her direction. The two of them were still kind of on bad terms, but they'd learned to deal with one another's presence.

If only for Liz respecting her elders. No matter how grouchy they may be. He'd never actually done anything malicious. Yet.

So she left, walking out into the early morning of the fortress. Cassandra was already seated near the training dummy, adjusting her armor and doing her stretches. It was quiet, save for the soft tweeting of birds in the trees in front of the Rest as she approached the wall that separated the two courtyards. It was a steep drop into the healing tents. A fire crackled calmly in the middle where her friend, Serana, stood.

The white haired mage warmed her frail hands on the fire, a small smile on her face. Only to be startled as a familiar figure appeared next to her. Her head whirled in his direction. Liz squinted when she saw Cole come out of stealth, his huge hat like a beacon beyond the tents.

She, of course, couldn't hear what he was saying. But the way Serana's face reddened had something in her stomach churning. Something she wasn't really familiar with but could identify clear as day.

The only thing the young mage could do was sit from her perch and watch. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the sight as the two kept talking. She was talking to him when she'd spent a better part of the week trying to find him. To be there for him.

But Cole went to her.

Liz frowned and tore her eyes away from the scene. Serana wasn't with anyone, that she knew of. So it would make sense that the two of them would kind of gravitate toward one another. Serana was just as compassionate and caring as Cole was. The two of them…

The otherworlder felt sick. Absolutely sick. How could she feel jealous toward her friends? How? What a selfish emotion to have.

Disgusted with herself, she whipped around and retreated into the tavern. Intent on having a morning drink. Not that it would matter.

Serana and Cole deserved happiness. Who was she to deny them that? Just because of some stupid crush? She barely even knew the man! She couldn't just step in his way because of her stupid emotions. So, like everything else, Liz stuffed it away in a little box to deal with later.

But things never worked that easily, did they?