"Well, Shit"
"There are some things that I wished to speak to you about, Erin." Solas spoke up from in front of the door, his hand waving and his mana welling up. A spell of some sort. Probably a deafening spell. Instantly she felt on edge. He turned, arms positioned behind his back. As he usually did when he was thinking or observing things. "Or would you prefer that I call you Liz?"
Cole and Liz both froze at the sound of that sentence.
His steely eyes met hers and in that moment it felt like she froze. Like her veins turned to ice at the sound of someone other than Cole using her real name. She took a step back, eyes wide in terror. The light pouring in from the windows in the War Room seemed to make the angles of his face more pronounced, making him look intimidating. The way he was looking over at her, like she were prey about to be picked apart.
'Oh God. Oh God, Oh God.'
Her hands found purchase upon a shelf near the window, which was sending nearly blinding rays of morning sunlight dashing in through the grated glasswork. The young woman seemed paralyzed, unable to form coherent thoughts as she stared the elf down.
Cole, much to his credit, was absolutely silent for a change. He had backed away from the bald apostate, staring him down as if he were trying to get a read on him. So Liz knew that he wasn't the one that had told him, if his surprise had been anything to go by.
"… Wh-What is it that you needed to talk to me about, Solas?" She spoke almost warily, her hands coming up and fiddling with the ends of her fur cloak. Cole and Liz seemed to exchange glances for a few beats. It appeared as though, even now, her anxiety and confusion was reflecting back into the spirit-turned-human. How? She still wasn't sure.
But he was definitely more on edge than usual.
"Cole came to me with an interesting revelation, if you don't mind my addressing it first? Then we can speak in regards to your… actual name." Solas took a step forward, positioning himself in front of the War Table. Liz remained still on the other side of the room, safe by the bookshelves. She looked around, thinking of ways to bolt in case the need arose. She could certainly throw herself out the window and transform mid-fall, if need be. But… That was a risk.
That and what about Cole? Would Solas hurt Cole? No. This was Solas! He was their friend. Right? With that thought, she tried to calm her nerves. 'Deep breaths, Liz. Deep breaths.'
"Uuuuuhhhhhhh, I m-mean, you warded the door right?" The little woman was at a loss for words. Solas has always been a good friend and looked out for her when she needed it. She shouldn't be so worried, right?
The doubt still gnawed in the back of her mind.
"Cole has informed me of a recent development in … your senses?" He seemed at a loss for how to word it without giving away what he was about to reveal. The thought made Liz's eyebrow twitch. Why couldn't he ever come out and just say it?
"Yes." But, what was happening to her… would he think she was crazy? Or an abomination? Her head lowered, "I don't know how to describe it, Solas." Fear crossed her features as she looked down at her hands, "But … I think something is happening to me. I don't-"
"Changes? What kinds of changes? Do you notice a shift in your thinking? Your mood?" His tone was swift, sharp. Liz's gaze snapped up to him. He seemed tense, unsure. He was asking the same questions he'd asked Cole at times.
Huh. How odd.
"What? No. I can just … I hear Cole. I can feel him. Where he is. Sometimes even what he's feeling." She explained hastily, "Solas, did you know something about this? Why didn't you come to me? We could have spoken and I wouldn't have been so terrified. Wait, should I be terrified? What's going on?"
After that, his brow seemed to loosen and rose as if he came to a conclusion.
"Ah, I see." His sharp tone had melted into calmness, nearly giving her whiplash, "Calm, ma falon. I think I know what is going on."
Almost as if he hadn't been on the verge of panic but seconds ago. It made Liz think, 'How much does he know?'
She'd have to analyze this situation later and try to pick it apart. There had to be something she wasn't seeing, because it almost seemed like they were both thinking of different things just seconds ago. Or maybe it was just her imagination.
He must have picked up on her suspicion, because his expression flattened. Almost as if he'd put on a mask. She turned to Cole curiously, who was simply examining the two of them.
"Sorrow … singing, sadness resonating within. You felt what I felt. I was scared, too! And it hurt you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." Cole spoke, his hands fiddling with themselves as he tried to hunch inward. He could have easily towered over the elf, but he was slouched and was about the same height. Liz blinked slowly.
"Cole..." Solas and Liz both spoke at the same time. Liz allowed the older man to continue, "You didn't try to break it, did you? This…. 'thread' you spoke of?"
"Y-Yes, I … I thought maybe..."
"You mustn't do that, again. Do you understand me?" Solas sounded ominous, the way he was speaking. It wasn't making the little mage feel any better about the situation. "My apologies, Elizabeth I-"
"You've got to be kidding me." Liz snorted. She realized that he did, in fact, know her real name. How? She wasn't sure. She was just trying to push aside the building dread that was forming in the pit of her stomach. Hoping to whatever deity was watching that he wouldn't tell anyone.
"It is your name, is it not?"
"No—I mean—yes. But-But." She stuttered, the fear seeping back into her bones. Like cold, clinging to her gut. He found out. He knew. Oh Gods, he knew. That's when she noticed her rogue friend freeze in place and stand up straight, towering at his full height over Solas.
For the first time in her life, she saw fury burning within Cole's pale blue eyes as they narrowed in on Solas. Liz didn't even have time to ask what was wrong before he spoke, a deep growl. "I told you that she said no, Solas."
Even Solas appeared surprised at his sudden shift in demeanor and seemed to recoil a bit at his aggressive tone. Cole took a step forward and pointed at him, his finger nearly jabbing the man in the chest.
"She trusted you and you did it anyway! Worried, wondering—waiting for her to come to you. She would have, could have. But she didn't. It was her choice, Solas!" His hand swept to the side angrily, mouth screwed into a deep disappointed frown. Liz stood there, baffled. Confused.
Then it all clicked together.
"You've been poking around in my dreams?" She asked, almost hesitantly, trying really hard not to sound nearly as angry as she felt herself becoming. Hot, boiling fury was building up in her chest and spreading to her ears. This only seemed to feed into the young man in front of the elf.
But yet, at the same time she felt hurt. Betrayed, even. She trusted Solas and hadn't expected him to push her boundaries as he did. He always seemed the type to be respectful. What had she done to provoke him?
"He did. Was. Has been for awhile now. He hid it, even from me. Why? Why?" Cole nearly sounded hurt and Solas recognized it, too. Liz watched as he tried to put his hand on the spirit's shoulder, trying to calm him.
"I understand that you're angry, Cole but-" He was promptly cut off by Cole's steadily rising anger.
"No, Solas. You don't understand." He snapped, pushing his hand off of his shoulder and stepping away. "You knew. I told you not to. She told you not to. You knew it would hurt her, but you did it anyway. She's real. She's people, too."
His last comment seemed to cause the older man's eyes to widen a fraction, before he schooled his features and nodded. "I apologize, but I would like the chance to explain myself. Please."
"Don't apologize to me, apologize to her." He looked away, making eye contact with Liz. Liz, for the most part, stood there silently and watched the altercation. Almost not believing what she was seeing. The elven apostate turned and bowed his head.
"My apologies, Liz. It was not my intention to hurt you, even though I admit I knew it would. But you must understand that I only did so out of worry for the wellbeing of the Inquisition and myself." He explained but it didn't seem to loosen the tension in the young mage's shoulders. "When Cole began to exhibit possessive behaviors after his … transformation … I noticed some inconsistencies. In my memories, if you will. When you stayed behind in the Hinterlands, I'd been particularly worried since Cole had disappeared. Granted I had suspicions before then, but that incident in particular caused me to act and do some digging." He began to pace, looking troubled, "I had not anticipated my discovery, however."
Liz bit the inside of her cheek, knowing what he was talking about. "Do you remember? What happened with your lost memory, that is."
"No, but I'd been able to glean the pertinent details through your dreams. You do not remember speaking to me in the Fade?" He paused, hands behind his back. Liz breathed a shaky sigh, trying to dig around in her mind. Fade? When?
"No. I'm not a Dreamer like you, Solas." She bit back then laughed shakily, "Are you sure it wasn't a demon just feeding you what you wanted to hear?"
He looked down at her with an almost condescending stare before it disappeared completely.
"Alright. Fine. Congratulations… You've caught me. What else do you want me to say about it?" She finally said after what felt like minutes. Her mind whirling. Thinking of ways to disappear into the night and never come back. This was it. This was the end. "Does that mean you're going to tell Maxwell who I am? Or, rather, who I am not?"
"Telling him would cause undue stress. You'd likely be killed, at that." She flinched at his words. He seemed to contemplate for a moment before continuing, "I will not lie, at first I was a bit … apprehensive. That you'd continued the facade even after so long. But, had I been in the same position I cannot say I wouldn't do the same thing. It is a tough situation, to be sure. Your intentions are not malicious in nature."
"It wasn't necessarily my choice…." Liz mumbled, knees feeling weak. She found an old rickety chair next to the table and plopped down, forehead falling into her hands. "I… I didn't ask for this to happen, Solas."
Her shoulders shook, as if the weight had been lifted. Someone other than Cole knew. Her other friend. Someone Liz has been slowly coming to trust. Even so, the fact that he dug around without her permission had her feeling wary. Angry. She knew little of him and didn't poke for information as long as he didn't. But she knew that he wasn't who he presented himself out to be. Almost like looking into a mirror, really.
She put on a facade and so did she. They were two of a kind, really. At least Cole didn't pretend to be the 'Real' Cole. He was himself.
Liz snorted at that thought. Cole was better, like that. Kinder. Understanding. A better person. Her? She was… selfish. She peered up at the apostate through her curtain of messy brown hair. And so was he. He was likely the same, in that aspect. Perhaps it wasn't fair of her to compare him to herself. But it was almost glaringly obvious the two were painfully similar in those regards.
"How much do you know?" She nearly whispered, refusing to admit tears were building up in her eyes.
"Past, vague like trying to sift through sludge. It hurt too much to pull at. But everything here is solid, whole." Cole spoke, though instead of his soothing lilt he sounded clipped and upset. "He doesn't know everything."
Well, that was a relief. She stared at the young man and silently tried to relay her thanks, because she wasn't sure how she would have handled talking to him alone about this.
Cole side-eyed her as if he'd heard her and went back to glaring at Solas.
"He is right. I was only able to see what you told me was your apartment. The outside was the Fade, the Nightmare Demon's domain. I'm still not sure why you seem to be tethered to that spot. He seems to have a hold on you like nothing I've seen before." He explained, pacing in the small space provided. "But you're obviously not from here. You aren't Erin."
"Because I look different in my dreams." Liz finished, knowing how he'd figured it out. "I am going to ignore the fact that you invaded my privacy, for now. We can have a serious talk about that later. Onto more pertinent matters, why is it that Cole and I seem to have this … odd connection. I'm going to go on a limb and say it isn't normal. I'm not hurting him, am I? Is it serious?"
"It is serious, in the fact that you are bonded together-"
"He's bound to me?" Her voice cracked as she stood up, chair clacking to the ground. Her heart sped up as fear gripped at her insides. How did this happen?
"No, not like that." Solas held up his hands, "A Soul Bond. Think of it as an invisible thread, of sorts. That connects the two of you. Though the Dalish practice a similar ritual, it is nothing like it used to be. From what I've gleaned in the Fade, it was how Elves used to bond for life."
Liz was silent for a few beats, before he continued.
"Essentially, they were bonded to one another until even after death. It was a serious consideration to take." He explained. His eyes slid over to the small form of Liz, who was staring at the two like she couldn't believe what she was even hearing. "That is what I theorize this demon is attempting to do to you right before Adamant. But you and Cole had already established one, as weak as it was. It may have even been there from the start, which is entirely possible. If rare. Almost unheard of, really."
Liz appeared to be getting pale at that point. "...Always there?" She blinked and then shook her head, "Wait, why wouldn't he just possess me like every other demon? Why try to bond? That doesn't make sense?"
At her many questions, his hands seemed to fold behind his back. Solas was going into lecture mode, she knew.
"There is certain steps one must take to effectively create a Soul Bond. Such magics were lost to the ages." He explained, grabbing the attention from both the young humans. "It was why I believe it was there to begin with, but simply grew stronger with extended proximity." When she didn't seem to calm down, he tried to placate the small mage. "It is nothing like being bound, Liz. A Bonded can never control the other. Your thoughts and feelings are your own. It will simply take awhile to distinguish between the two."
It didn't seem to help. He didn't even answer all of her damned questions, at that.
"What's happening. Why is this happening? How?" The questions poured out of her mouth, her hand yanked on the longer strands of hair at the side of her face. Liz couldn't stop her limbs from shaking. 'Elves did it? How in the Hell am I able to do it? Why? Why?'
"Do I have to get used to having him in my head even more, now?" She asked, crossing her arms. The fear in her stomach still refused to subside as she sat underneath Solas' gaze.
"In time I am sure you will learn how to better utilize the Bond." Solas answered, bowing his head slightly. "If you ever need help. All you need to do is ask."
"No." Was her quick answer, brown eyes hardening as she stared him down. "Forgive me if I don't feel inclined to trust you after what you did. In time, I would have likely come to you about my predicament. But you've violated my privacy and my trust. It's going to take time to regain that." 'Hypocrite', she hissed to herself. 'You cry about not trusting him but he shouldn't even trust you.' "For now, could you please… leave."
She really needed time to think. To process everything. She turned around and looked out the window toward the mountains, feeling her eyes well up with tears again. The fear dug into her gut like a knife, reminding her that she was walking a fine line.
If anyone found out. Anyone. She was dead. She knew it. He knew it.
"But-" She heard Solas try to push.
"Leave." Cole repeated for Liz, followed by the sound of rustling fabric and the door squeaking open. Then it shut with a soft, 'Click'.
Then came a quiet sigh, nearly as defeated as she felt. Honestly. She knew it was Cole, simply because she could feel him. Niggling in the back of her mind. Barely there.
"...Liz." He spoke softly from right behind her and she covered her mouth with her hand, trying not to let out any noise.
Solas had blackmail. She wasn't sure if he'd use it against her. Was he like that? Would he doom her to her death? No. He was her friend. She trusted him. Kind of. She just had to remember that.
"He wouldn't do that, Liz… don't worry."
"Y-You say that, even though you are angry with him?" She sniffled, choking back her tears and sobs that seemed to want to burst forth. Push it back. Push it back. She didn't pull away when he grabbed her jaw softly and had her look up at him, a stray tear rolling down her cheek.
The little woman nearly pulled away in embarrassment, but she remained. Remembering that he would never think less of her for being like this.
"He can't hurt you. He won't." He spoke in a soft lilting tone as he smiled, wiping away her sadness. Her fear. She felt safe with him near her. Like he could scare away the darkness, the bad. She shook, feeling the tension slowly leaving her body as he pressed his forehead against hers. The buzzing in her head seemed to quell, if even a little.
Liz closed her eyes, relishing in the moment, "How do you know?"
She could feel his breath, hot on her face. She dared not open her eyes or pull away. She didn't want to. Liz wanted this closeness to last forever.
Then, it was soft, just a brush of his lips against her own—but like static. Her heart nearly stuttered to a stop as he pulled her against him with his free hand, the heat of his body enveloping her like warmth from the sun.
The tears were pricking at the sides of her closed lids for a completely different reason, then. Cole pulled away, his breathing hitched—but Liz wouldn't have it. The little mage gripped the rogue's shirt desperately, pressing her lips against his. Soft and slow, to start. He seemed frozen in her grip, hands still.
Liz pulled back, brown eyes cracking open ever so slightly, taking in the soft look on his face. He hadn't even closed his eyes, staring down at her with that intent look of his. "….Cole?"
His answer was to murmur her name against her lips, returning with a more fervid kiss. Liz could feel it. Hear it, even. He wanted—no—needed her to be closer to him.
She wasn't sure when it happened, but her back pressed against the bookcase near the window. A few things dropped, dull and hollow thuds against the stonework.
It wasn't long until the duo had to separate for air, noses touching and breathing intermingled. Blue eyes locked onto brown. Up close like that, they were so beautiful. A stunning shade of pale blue with flecks of silver. Liz, in all her life, had never seen such emotion within someone's eyes before. Perhaps that was why he hid underneath his hat or had such a curtain of hair.
She's certainly never seen someone look at her the way he looked at her.
The look in it of itself caused her stomach to do flips. Cole rubbed his nose against hers and smiled, "I won't let him hurt you. I wouldn't let anyone hurt you."
Liz buried her face into the crook of his neck and sighed, remembering how he stuck up for her just moments ago. The thought itself made her incredibly happy. She squeezed him, "Thank you...Cole. The same goes for you, you know?"
He grunted and squeezed back.
Cole
Days passed by, but Cole found himself still upset at Solas for what he did to Liz. He didn't know why it bothered him for so long. It'd never happened before. Things have angered him, for sure. It seemed he experienced more of an emotional response to things since his change. The anger and irritation toward the way some of the nobles treated the mages and the elves. The irritation in general when he didn't sleep enough. Or the happiness and elation he felt around Liz and sometimes Varric when they talked. The way his heart clenched and his chest warmed when he was near Liz.
It was all just so … overwhelming, at times.
The rogue rocked on the balls of his feet as he sat crouched near the well in the lower courtyard. The stablehands were saddling up horses in the barn. Cole hummed to himself, listening to the idle chatter of the people at the weapon stands.
"Sup, bruh." A familiar voice greeted, gaining his attention. As the dwarven woman approached, Cole could barely see her from underneath the wide leather brim of his hat.
"Sometimes the dreams hurt, but you don't want to tell anyone. Scared, sorrow—singing within. Dwarves aren't supposed to dream." He pulled, feeling the pain welling up deep within her chest. In the back of her mind. Jade stood above him, looking down at him warily.
"Dude, I just wanted to say hello. No need to go all Dr Phil on my ass."
"Who's Dr Phil?" He asked, already knowing the answer. Jade paused, her eyes nearly crossing as she thought about it. It took maybe a minute before she spoke.
"I…. I …. I don't know." He could feel it inside of her again, the shattered glass behind the crumbling wall. Sometimes the cracks would let light through, but not enough…. Not enough. Her green eyes glazed over briefly before she blinked and shook her head, looking down at the rogue as he sat still. Watching.
"Sup, bruh?" She repeated herself, as if she'd just walked up to him.
Cole didn't say anything, only staring up at her sadly. She was fractured, fighting—filled to the brim with things that should not be. It was hurting her. His fingers gripped his knees tightly, knuckles turning white. The only person he knew to confront about Jade's predicament being Solas.
And…. He was just so angry at Solas. Furious, even.
"….. Uhhh… hey, buddy. You alright?"
"Yes. I am mad at Solas."
"Good. I don't trust that guy, anyway." She crossed her arms and her face turned sour, "I don't know what Serana sees in that bozo. He ain't all that great."
She seemed to have an instinctual feeling for certain things, Cole noticed. Like the time back at Adamant when she pulled the team back when the dragon arrived, saving the Chargers and many more. Or the bad feeling she got when they marched onto the Fortress. He didn't think much of it then, but now that he looked closer…
She knew. That Solas shouldn't be trusted. She just didn't know why.
But her memories were so fractured and frail. Her mind didn't remember but her soul did.
"J-Jade!" A meek voice called out, followed by quick paced shuffling. Serana came to a stop right beside the dwarf, her hands resting on her knees as she breathed heavily. A huge backpack peeked just over her frail shoulders, filled the brim with supplies and items for the trek.
"Hmmm? Oh, took ya long enough. I was just havin' a chat with Lizzie's boyfriend, here."
"W-Who?"
"Cole. Erin's boyfriend."
"Oh. Who's Lizzy?"
"Who?"
They stared at one another blankly before the dwarf scratched her head, "Uh… I'm sorry, I think my lack of sleep is getting to me. Heheh heh..."
"You gotta sleep, Jade! What did I tell you about your health." The little elf scolded, her eyes getting stern as she stared down her friend. "You've been spacing a lot, lately. You know that?"
The warrior simply grinned and shrugged.
Hours later and he wasn't sure how he'd gotten himself into his current predicament. Serana and Jade were both kneeling behind him as he sat in the grass quietly. The birds chirped happily from the trees above.
He turned and saw Liz ambling toward them at a sedate pace and he felt his face light afire. His hair was being brushed and put into braids by the two behind him and he felt a rush of embarrassment as the little shapeshifter caught sight of him. A playful smirk played upon her face as she sped up, coming up to the trio.
"Jade what-" Liz paused in front of them with a hand on her hip. Cole's blue gaze darted from hers and toward the white flower in his hands. He puckered his lips slightly and brushed the petals when the tips of his calloused fingers. "What are you doing to Cole?"
Oh, Maker. He just wanted to let his friends have fun, since they liked how bright and soft his hair was. Especially since he washed it using the soap that Varric bought him.
"Heheh! We were bored, so we decided to fix 'im up for ya!" Jade cackled from behind him and he could practically imagine the lopsided grin on her face. Their fingers stopped with their ministrations and he heard Serana make a grunt of approval.
"….braids?" Liz's voice sounded odd and he peered up through whatever was left of his bangs, seeing her face turning red from strain. He could hear the amusement and warmth from within, threatening to burst. So, he put on his best 'innocent' face he could. Blinking his big blue eyes up at he woman.
"Am I pretty?" He asked simply, causing the little mage to let out a bark of laughter.
'He's so cute! Oh my gosh!' Liz squealed inwardly and Cole perked up as he heard it filter through their bond. This caused her to freeze and cough into her fist, eyes darting away.
"You're very pretty, Cole. Beautiful, in fact!" Serana beamed down at him as he sat cross legged in the grass. His blue gaze slowly slipped in her direction, "The flowers help."
Still blushing, the rogue stood up and brushed himself off. He could feel said flowers weaved into his white-blonde hair. A few braids had been made here and there, but mostly left alone and brushed neatly as he clipped his floppy hat to his belt.
"What's that?" Liz asked, pointing at the small bundle in his hands. He blinked and shook his head. He'd nearly forgotten! Earlier he'd decided to get her a gift of sorts, in hopes of seeing her happy. Perhaps even get a smile out of her. But evidently whatever Serana and Jade did brought that bright smile out for him to see.
His stomach fluttered in excitement as he handed her a black bundle. No matter, he could never tire of seeing her happy.
"Oh. I have something. For you. I-I..." Cole fidgeted as she stared at the offered object, suddenly feeling self conscious. His last sentence, spoke in nearly a whisper, "I hope you like it."
The young woman seemed to look at him oddly, as if not expecting a gift. She gently grabbed it and brushed her fingers over the top, "For me?"
"Yes." He smiled. "People get sick if they're cold. I don't want you to get sick."
"I'm able to keep myself warm with the use of magic. It's actually rather easy." Liz protested, cheeks aflame yet again. Yes, Cole knew that. But part of him wanted to have her wear something that he gave her. A token of their friendship and… budding relationship? He silently watched her nimble fingers work at opening the gift, revealing a large heavy black cloak with fur trimmings upon the hood. Her hands brushed against the fur.
"You didn't need to do this..." Her voice was soft.
"I wanted to." He stated simply, his mouth opening to say more but it closed before anything else could come out. Stopping himself, wondering why. His words wouldn't work, why? He was left standing there, wishing for once she could read his mind. To see what he wanted to say when his words failed him. How much he adored her. How much he cared. It just …
He watched as she fiddled around with the new cloak, clasping it and pulling its fur lining over her head and ears. Taking in the content and pleasantly surprised look on her tanned face. The sheer amount of joy over such a small thing—it made his heart melt.
The way her eyes lit up when she looked back up at him and nodded, "Thank you, Cole. I really like it!"
"….I know." Now his lips quirked, a ghost of a smile. Or perhaps a grin. He could feel the enjoyment washing over him. She puckered her lips slightly and turned her head to the side stubbornly.
"Cheeky." She muttered.
"Oh my God you two, get a room." Jade's voice filtered through, causing Liz's gaze to snap toward the dwarf's.
"Wait, what did you just say?" Liz asked, catching onto whatever she just said. A million things were shooting through her mind. Curiosity, suspicion—among the most prominent. So it wasn't just him that thought Jade was odd, and not in the usual way. Odd like Liz odd. Different world, odd. Cole watched the two converse, silently telling himself to confront Liz about it later.
"Get a room?" Jade spoke slowly from her spot near Serana, a brow raising.
"No." As far as Liz knew, people didn't say 'God'. It was usually 'Maker' or 'Andraste'.
"God? The Maker? Andraste? What did you want me to say? By the Stone, humans are weird."
"That's not what I meant, it's just-"
"Erin! Cole! It's time to leave." Liz's brother called, followed by the sounds of hooves hitting the dirt as he approached the small group. "What are you guys—Maker what's on your head Cole?"
"I'm pretty." He shot back, rather smugly at that. His forced doe-eyes seemed to amplify the situation as more people took notice of the arrangement on his head. Amusement bubbled in the pit of his stomach at the head shakes and snickers from the group.
At Maxwell's comment, Liz heard a snicker burst forth out of Sera's mouth as she sat atop her horse near the gate. "Look at 'em! Do ya see it?!"
Laughter brought happiness. Happiness meant stronger bonds.
Cole smiled to himself as he donned his giant hat, watching everyone begin to converse amongst one another. Though he remained at the back, quiet. Watching. Observing.
It was cold. Unusually so. He never had to put up with the temperature changes and the harsh weather as much as they did before. The frigid mountain air bit into his face, causing his eyes to squint. He tried to shield his eyes from the beating wind and snow with his arm, but it did little. He was crouched, grabbing a stray Elfroot leaf that had protruded from the white fluff that blanketed the ground.
Every little bit of the plant helped, which was why he was straggling behind. Picking every last bit. But every miniscule thing added up, over time. He now had a pouch full of them.
Cole's fingers were stiff, even from underneath his makeshift hand wraps he usually wore. His blue eyes trailed up at the retreating forms of his friends as he stood up slowly, a frown tugging at his face. His body felt like it was getting slower. A frown tugged at his face as he looked down at his hands and tried to flex his fingers. One two, one two, they wouldn't listen.
They twitched but wouldn't bend like he wanted them to. They felt tingly…. And weird. Even small occurrences like this seemed nearly baffling to the once-spirit. Before, such things never bothered him.
Not after … not after he remembered—no—realized what he was. The sewers had been damp, dank—body beaten and littered with bruises. The Lord Seeker had proved what he was with the Litany of Andralla. Or, rather, what he wasn't.
'I'm not real. I'm not—No, I wasn't-' The young man's breathing hitched as he fought against the memories. The thoughts and anxiety building in the back of his chest.
He stood stock still with the Elfroot between his numb fingers, eyes glazed over as his past seemed to creep in like a fog. Eating away at all other thought and—small hands wrapped around his. Warmth curled around his skin, the touch slowly peeling him out of the haze that his mind seemed to drag him into. It grounded him. He could feel her, she could feel him.
Cole's fingers twitched and responded on their own, curling around her own to soak up the warmth they offered.
His blue gaze slowly slipped from their intertwined hands onto the small form of Liz, who had that usual passive expression on her face as she stared down at their hands. Almost like she was too shy to look up at him.
"If you continue as you are, you'll get frost bite." Liz informed flatly, dulled brown eyes slipping up to meet his vibrant blue ones. "The human body can be quite frail."
Didn't she, at some point, tell him that the human body could be 'resilient'? Now she was telling him that it could be frail. More confusing things to remember.
Cole shifted and tilted his head, feeling the stringy strands tickle the bridge of his nose as he tried to stare into her. It never worked, until recently. With their bond. Which still was taking some getting used to. She used to always so good at hiding her pain, pushing it down and pretending it wasn't there. It was buried; deep, dark and dusty. Unused to being touched and seen. Forgotten.
But not.
It was there, just out of reach – out of sight. It didn't make sense. The woman hardly ever made sense, now that he thought about it. But…
"Does the human body know when to be strong and when to be frail?" Cole asked softly, seeing their companions slowly shrink as they ambled through the Frostbacks.
"I don't think it quite works like that." Her lips twitched into the faintest hint of a smile and he felt his heart pick up it's pace. He blinked in confusion, one of his hands wormed its way out of her grasp.
"Why?" Was the rogue's simple question, fingertip gently grazing the side of her mouth curiously. Now that she allowed him to be closer to her, it was almost instinctual. They sat together, trained together, even seemed to gravitate toward one another when they were in battle. They protected one another.
Her passive mask faltered, cracked, as she stared up at him in confusion. The cold air bit into their skin.
Liz didn't answer and it was making him feel nervous. For what reason, he didn't know. Never, as of late. It was probably a human thing.
"Liz?" Her name slipped passed his lips, a white mist floating out in front of his face. The small woman's body shuddered – though not from the cold – as if she were trying to prevent herself from doing something.
"W-What?"
"Hey, you guys comin' or what?" Jade called in the distance, causing the both of them to turn to look at her. "Have to help us set up camp—quit being a bunch of lazy asses! Even Max doin' more than you lot."
That's when Cole decided to sniffle. Liz's head snapped back toward Cole and she squinted at his attire. Her eyes darted from head to toe before she seemed to get upset.
"….Cole…. Why aren't you wearing your boots?"
He sniffled again, "Boots?" Wasn't his shoes enough?
She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Snow is getting in through your—nevermind. I need to take a look at you."
Her demeanor completely changed as she grabbed his hand and began to trudge forth, the snow crunching and shifting as they pushed on. There was a blizzard and it was beginning to get even worse and evidently the group decided to hunker down for the night.
Soon enough, the warm orange glow of a few fires could be seen through the whipping snowflakes as they darted by. Cole began to hear the quiet commands of people as they were finishing pitching tents and getting things settled.
The duo entered camp, Scout Jim and Jade slowly creeping by with a barrel of mead. The cover of some spruce trees offered some solace from the frigid temperatures and unrelenting winds, but only the tents would be enough to stave off the cold.
A small word with the Inquisitor (and a glare at Cole) later and Liz was directed toward her tent. She dragged the rogue inside and made him sit down. He shakily took a seat, feeling instant relief from the outside air.
"Oh gosh, you're freezing!" She hissed as she began taking a closer look at his body. Her hands went to his wrists to his forehead, then down to his feet. Cole began fidgeting and she smacked his leg, "Don't move, you might have frost bite! Jeez, if you—if you were feeling like this why didn't you tell me? If I hadn't noticed you-"
The little woman gritted her teeth as she ran her hands along his feet, the warm glow of her magic flickering in the dim tent.
"It h-hurts. Why d-does it hurt s-so much?" He questioned as she pulled a blanket over his shoulders, a frown marring her face, "I thought-"
Liz
What on Earth was he thinking?! Going out onto the trek in nothing but his shoes and armor. He didn't even have anything with a warming rune on it. Nothing in sight. Not even a cloak, like he'd given her.
Did he think he was still immune to the temperatures? Was it different when he was a spirit? Who knows. But the worry and perhaps a little bit of irritation wormed its way into her gut as she fretted for the young man.
"First question. Why weren't you wearing boots? We're in the middle of the Frostbacks. In the snow. And you're wearing little shoes!" Liz felt the remnants of her patience wearing thin, the worry building in her gut becoming almost overwhelming. She made him sit down, her eyes glaring at his shoes. Cole was sitting on her cot, looking up at her guiltily.
The mage let out a sigh as she took in his haggard appearance.
He didn't answer her question, simply opting for curling into himself on the cot.
"Cole, you need to wear boots in the snow. What were you thinking?" She scolded as she left the tent.
She heard a muffled, "I'm sorry." as she left to grab a few things. She came back shortly after with a small mug of hot steamy liquid.
"Here, this should help." She handed it to him and began rubbing her hands against his shoulders, trying to help his body heat up. Cole simply sat there with the hot mug of tea in his hands, looking up at her curiously.
"Thank y—y—achoo!" He sneezed, spilling a little bit of the tea on his fingers, "A-Ah ouch, ouch!"
"Cole!" Liz fretted, grabbing it out of his hands. The rogue flicked his hands around, a pout on his face.
"Well, it appears you haven't gotten frost bite." Thankfully, went unsaid as she looked up at him and handed him back his mug, along with a handkerchief for the snot that was beginning to dribble from his red nose. He sat there with the tea and handkerchief in his hands as he simultaneously tried to keep his blanket from falling off his shoulders.
He sniffed and his eyes connected with hers.
Cole look absolutely confused. Like he had no idea what to do with all of the objects he now held. Liz sighed. This would take awhile to get used to.
"So you didn't pack for the trip, huh?" She stated more than she asked. If she hadn't stopped and looked for him… she didn't want to think about the consequences.
"I never had to." Cole muttered, eyes darting anywhere but her own. Especially after the young mage sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. To his credit, he at least looked sheepish for his oversight.
"I'm sorry. I would have helped you with that but I assumed Varric or Solas had that covered. Yeah, now that you're human you're going to need to pack some things when we leave the fortress. Your body is different now, Cole." Liz began to explain, trying to put herself in his shoes.
He, no doubt, was having a Hell of a time trying to adjust. Trying to help and adjust to the physical world before was probably a task. But now…. His body was human. He had all of the normal human bodily functions, which was not fun. And he had to get used to that.
"Sorry."
"You have nothing to apologize for." She put her hand on his shoulder, brown eyes softening. "I'm sorry if I came off harsh, it wasn't directed toward you. It is going to be a hard transition, I would imagine. But don't worry. I'm here for you, remember?"
"Yes." He slowly locked gazes with her, a soft smile making its way to his lips. "Thank you."
"Look, if your body starts to feel like that again you need to speak up. Everyone knows how much you're going through right now and we won't fault you for having to take things slow." And if they did try to give him shit, she would most certainly make sure they regretted it. Her little fingers brushed through her matted locks, "Should we try to get some rest?"
Cole nodded and scooted over, looking over at her expectantly. Liz felt her face bloom a brilliant shade of red. Here? Share the cot?
"A-Are you okay wi-with that?" She fumbled.
"Cassandra and Maxwell do it." He smiled and leaned forward, suddenly getting into her face. Liz resisted the urge to squeal at his sudden close proximity. Her gaze fixated on the slight curve of his lips, making him look absolutely stunning. Handsome, in fact.
-only to be utterly ruined when a huge glob of snot fell out the bottom of his nose. Liz snorted and grabbed the handkerchief from his hand, shoving it against the bottom of his nose.
"C-Cole—hehe—hahaha! It's everywhere." Liz began to giggle, watching as he pulled way and began to wipe vigorously.
"I'm…getting sick." His shoulders seemed to slump at that revelation. No doubt he's seen it happen numerous times. Just never experienced it first hand. Liz patted him on the head.
"It's alright. We all get sick sometime." She turned and pulled a spare blanket from her pack, laying it over her legs as she scooted onto the cot with him. "Alright. W-We will share the cot. It should keep us wa-wa-wa-wa-aaarm."
Liz awoke the next day with a kick to her side, causing her to let out a sharp, "Oof!"
The little mage's eyes snapped open and she coughed, trying to remain silent as to not wake up Cole. A faint sliver of light could be seen shining through the tent flap, denoting approaching dawn. She huffed and turned her head, seeing the young rogue sprawled out across the cot. His arms were spread and his hair was tussled, little braids from the day before still sticking on end. She even thought she saw some remaining flower petals.
It'd obviously been him that kicked her in his sleep. His legs were at an odd angle, slowly pushing her off of the cot.
Cole let out a rather loud snore before snorting and shaking his head, body flipping over and facing away from her. Liz just let him take the whole blanket as he made a small cocoon around himself.
She was left, baffled. The man was a damned bed hog! But the look of him curled up like a little burrito was just too precious, she just couldn't stay upset.
The following day was spent trying to finagle their way through the fresh snow that the blizzard had brought. Even the horses were slower and Rin didn't seem too thrilled to be wading through the substance. Cole sat atop her as Liz flew on overhead, watching and scanning the area for any possible threats.
Occasionally, the young mage would peer down at her allies and see them hunched over as the wind battered against their forms. But what caught her eye was the sight of Solas approaching Cole. The two rode side by side for a time before the elf turned to speak to the young man. But got nothing.
Liz blinked, feeling confused. She could hear the anger simmering off of Cole as he turned away and nudged Rin into a trot. Away from the apostate.
He was still upset. Why? It just seemed so unlike him.
'I trusted him.' Cole's voice filtered up to her and she had to suppress the urge to stop flapping her wings.
The little mage scanned the open area, seeing nothing for miles, before she swooped down and perched onto Cole's shoulder. He was quiet, aside from the occasional sniffle. Worried, she pushed her mana into her crow feet and pushed her magic into his body. She wasn't happy with what she found.
He was getting sicker. 'At this rate he may even come down with a fever...'
He seemed intent on staring at their companions. In particular, Jade. He seemed oddly transfixed on her since yesterday. She cawed, gaining his attention. He turned to look at her and she tilted her little head at him, as if to ask what was wrong.
He looked … surprised. Eyes wide and mouth open, before he spoke almost ominously, "The toys. They were alive when the people weren't looking."
An image was pushed into her head of Woody, from Toy Story. Alarmed, Liz skittered to the side slightly and gawked at him. What? How—where did he see this? From her, perhaps? Or-
"….That's creepy, Kid." Varric spoke from beside him, an eyebrow raised. The dwarf was concerned as he ambled near the duo.
'Where did you hear that?' She wondered, staring at him with her little beady eye.
"Her memories are fragmented, fractured, falling away—hard to grasp. Can't breathe—who's that? Lizzie Lizzie don't leave me." He was staring at her dwarven friend as she talked to Serana ahead, a huge grin on her lightly tanned face. Liz felt her stomach turn to ice.
Was he reading her? Or was he reading Jade?
Cole's blue eyes connected with hers, a serious aura about him. As if he was unsure of what to say, or if he should say it. She could sense the hesitance. He frowned, "Sometimes she remembers, but it slips away like water between her fingers. I didn't want to say because I didn't want it to hurt..."
'Cole, is that...' She was like a tiny bird statue on his shoulder, stiff as a board.
'Elise.'