Dark Abyss
Chapter 12: A Selfish Choice
"Is… is he asleep?"
Byleth jerked awake at the sound of the voice; forcing his heavy eyelids open. It was with some embarrassment that he met his students' curious stares, all of whom had formed a long line in front of his desk.
"Forgive me. I've been rather tired as of late... A meager excuse, I'm aware."
It was true - ever since the day of the mission Byleth had been unable to find even a single night's rest. The archbishop's words upon his return had left him ridden with anxiety, and the secretive letter he received a few days later did nothing to ease his worries.
While he was not surprised that news of Lonato's death would please her, Lady Rhea's next words had shocked him immensely. He knew the church took a harsh stance against sinners, but to condone - and even encourage - the execution of rebellious civilians left a poor taste in his mouth.
The mere thought of the archbishop discovering Monica's or Edelgard's involvement in his stand against fate made his blood run cold.
"You ought to show that letter to someone. Perhaps your father, or the librarian. Its contents are interesting, to say the least."
Sothis was right, thought Byleth. He had been keeping far too many things to himself and it had even begun to affect his health.
"How may I help you, Miss Arnault?" he asked, once he had gathered his bearings and sat up straight in his chair.
"Well, you see, Professor…" began Dorothea; twirling a lock of her hair between her fingers. "I've been thinking about something lately. I feel like I've gotten down the basics of swordplay already, and that maybe I should focus more on magic. I wouldn't mind being a warlock one day."
It was a reasonable request, he figured. Her talents leaned more toward the arcane arts, and it was not as though he expected her to become a physical warrior in the first place. Unless she truly wished it, that is.
"I agree. I'll have a revised curriculum ready for you by the next lecture."
"Really?! Thanks, Professor!"
She happily returned to her desk, and Byleth called for the next student in line. Unfortunately, it was Petra, and she struggled to find the words to convey her rather complex question.
"With that, I believe I shall be taking my leave. Did you know that I recently discovered a way to furnish your mind? It makes for a most entertaining pastime."
While Sothis retreated into the far reaches of his consciousness, Petra stammered incoherently.
"Good luck, Byleth."
Skipping lunch may not have been such a wise decision, thought Byleth, who was acutely aware of his growling stomach.
The gap in his schedule was short, however, and he needed to speak with Tomas. The kindly librarian was one of the few people that Byleth felt he could trust within the church, aside from his father and perhaps a handful of his students.
He had debated speaking with his father about his concerns, but Jeralt would undoubtedly grow much too paranoid and apprehensive. The last thing his old man needed was yet another burden on his shoulder.
As he made his way to the library, Byleth passed the students' dormitories, only to hear the strangest of sounds.
"Nyaaaaargh!"
"Hrrrrrrghh!"
"Aaaaaaargh!"
"Mrgrgr!"
He stopped dead in his tracks, unsure what to make of the spectacle taking place before him. Raphael and Flayn stood opposite each other; the former grunting and flexing his arms proudly while the latter attempted to make herself appear equally mighty.
"Professor!" said Flayn excitedly, noticing his arrival. "I have been meaning to speak with you for quite some time. I just so happened to be making my way to your quarters, when suddenly I stumbled upon Raphael here."
The muscle-bound member of the Golden Deer House waved happily at them both, before excusing himself, as there was apparently a hot meal somewhere with his name written on it.
"What did you think?" asked Flayn, looking at him expectantly. "Oh! But do not let me hold you up! If your duties call you elsewhere, I would not think to keep you from them."
"It's alright. I was just heading to the library." said Byleth, and the two quickly fell in step beside one another.
"You sounded suitably intimidating, by the way." he lied.
If anything, he quite welcomed Flayn's presence. Seteth's little sister could prove an avenue into the mysterious dealings of the church, and so Byleth nodded encouragingly when she let out a delighted laugh.
"Truly? That pleases me to hear, Professor! If I grow strong and fierce enough, perhaps my brother will even allow me to join one of the houses! I do so wish to become a student of the academy…"
They entered the monastery; engaging in idle yet intriguing chit-chat along the way. It turned out that Flayn was just as mysterious as her brother and the archbishop, and that strangely, they seemed to think the same of him.
She giggled when he asked about her age. Byleth only belatedly recalled that was a question no man was ever supposed to ask of a lady - it had been one of his father's earliest warnings.
Contrary to what he expected, however, Flayn did not take offense. Instead she seemed flattered, albeit for an entirely different reason.
"Oh, Professor! You truly are a man of chivalry! No one has ever addressed me as Miss Flayn before. I believe I could grow accustomed to it… Indeed, it is most refreshing not to be treated as a child!"
She smiled all the way to the second floor of the monastery. Byleth, however, did not fail to notice that she never answered his question.
"Here we are, then. I must thank you for indulging my curiosity, Professor. I do hope we can hold more conversations such as these in the future!"
He smiled ever so slightly.
"As do I, Miss Flayn."
The green-haired girl then skipped away happily, and Byleth entered the library.
There were a handful of people present, but thankfully, they seemed far too enraptured by whatever they were reading to pay him any attention. He made his way over to the history section, where a familiar figure currently restocked its shelves.
Tomas greeted him with a wide smile, and even grasped Byleth's arm in a show of camaraderie.
"Professor! It brings me great joy to see you safe and sound. I heard of your victory in the Kingdom - not that I ever doubted you, of course."
Byleth cracked a smile at that. He rather liked the idea that others might have faith in his abilities.
"How may I help you, my boy?"
He proceeded to share some of his concerns, hoping that Tomas might be able to help him make some sense of it all.
"A letter, you say? And signed only by... a friend."
Tomas was frowning; his wizened face deep in thought as he considered the letter in his hand.
It was a small, inconspicuous thing, sealed with no discernible stamp. An outsider would have thought it a simple shopkeeper's receipt, or a love letter. Once he began to read it, however, his eyes were quick to widen.
Byleth was ushered into the back of the library, away from any prying eyes.
"This is- Professor, you must keep this information close to your chest. I can't even begin to imagine the panic that would ensue if the public were made aware of this... especially with the Goddess' Rite of Rebirth soon at hand."
The librarian rubbed his chin in contemplation.
"I wonder... who could possibly have written it?"
Byleth leaned against one of the bookshelves; a suspicion already forming in his mind. It was hardly a coincidence for something like this to happen only days after sparing Lord Lonato. Thankfully, the man must have taken Monica's words to heart, because he had not left even the slightest hint of his survival.
"Tomas." began Byleth. "There is something you should know. Lord Lonato still lives. I believe he is the one who had this letter issued to me."
"What?!"
"I don't usually act so... whimsically. Yet, for some reason, I felt compelled to spare his life."
"I don't know what to say. Your secret is safe with me, of course, but I must ask... what do you intend to do now? How will you respond to this letter, and the information it contains?"
"I'm... not sure." Byleth admitted. "Part of me would like to simply share it with the rest of the faculty and be done with it."
He thought a flash of concern passed through the old man's eyes, and shook his head.
"No. That would render everything I've done completely pointless. While I know next to nothing about this Western Church, they do make a fair case. I can't help but agree that the archbishop is monopolizing the word of the goddess, and doing it far too often for my liking."
There was a brief moment of silence, before Tomas lowered his head.
"I would concur." he whispered, and Byleth immediately felt a sense of relief. He was happy not to be alone in his opinion, and felt all the more justified for what he would say next.
"In that case, I won't be stopping these… agents. I don't see any particular problem with the church losing an artifact or two, so long as my students and colleagues remain unharmed."
He bowed, thanking the librarian for his counsel. Realizing he did not have much time until his next lecture, Byleth excused himself hastily, and rushed back to his classroom.
In his hurry, he also missed the look of triumph that came over Tomas' face.
The remainder of the week went by quickly.
Byleth's conversation with Tomas served to ease his anxiety, and slowly but surely his nights grew more peaceful. With no particular mission to prepare for, he also had much more freedom to go about his own business.
The students, on their part, were fully devoted to their training. Jeritza had recently announced a tournament; one that would welcome both teachers and pupils alike, and it had quickly become the talk of the monastery.
"That reminds me… I was meaning to ask if you would be participating in this event. Blood sport never fails to amuse me."
Not for the first time, Byleth wondered if there was something fundamentally wrong with his impish friend.
"I am not an imp! I am The Beginning! A being most glorious and divine, and someone worthy of worship, not mockery!"
He inclined his head to a passerby, while silently begging forgiveness of Her Grace.
"Your sarcasm is ill-favored, Byleth."
A horse neighed, and Byleth realized that his aimless stroll had taken him to the stables. Along with the cathedral it was one of the places he rarely visited, yet when he did, something interesting always seemed to take place.
"Easy there, Dorte. It's just... P-Professor?"
The horse calmed down instantly, and he found himself admiring how easily Marianne had tamed the beast. While he could appreciate a noble steed, riding and caring for animals had always been his father's strong suit.
Byleth, on the other hand, much preferred the sense of security that came with standing on his own two feet.
"Good evening, Miss Edmund. It's good to see you again."
A ghost of a smile flickered across the girl's face, only barely lit by twilight, and he was pleased to see that she did not shirk back as she had during their previous encounters.
"Th-Thank you. Um... I'm happy to see you, too."
She kept on staring at him, and even opened her mouth briefly before blushing and turning back to the horse.
"It has a name, Byleth. Use it."
"You seem to bond well with animals, Miss Edmund." said Byleth, standing next to her as she gently petted Dorte's muzzle. "Dorte seems quite taken with you. I may not be teaching you personally, but I'd advise that you make good use of this gift in the future."
"The future..." whispered Marianne; her eyes trailing away into the distance.
They stood silently in the middle of the pasture, disturbed only by the occasional shuffling of Dorte's hooves. Again, Marianne hesitated to speak, as though the words were caught up in her throat each time.
"Prof-"
Dorte bumped lightly against his chest.
"I believe Dorte is a little jealous." said Byleth calmly. With Marianne lost completely to her thoughts, the horse had been robbed of its constant source of care and attention.
"W-What?"
It began as a small giggle; the blue-haired girl looking between Byleth and Dorte in confusion. As she pieced together the puzzle, however, the giggling soon turned into soft, melodious laughter.
"Oh my! Jealous... now that is funny!"
As though a spell had been broken, the girl suddenly turned to face him with a surprising amount of determination in her eyes.
"Professor, I've been thinking. I- I'd like to make a request. I hope that the goddess won't hold my selfishness against me."
She took a deep breath.
"Y-You never gave up on me, even when I tried to push you away. You saw my curse, and still..."
Byleth smiled, already knowing what Marianne was about to say. It filled him with pride to see the shy, melancholic girl growing out of her shell.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that... I'd like to join your class, Professor. I want to learn more from you."
She clasped her hands together as if in prayer.
"Please accept me as your student."