Two Boys

Lois was leaning all the back in her chair; so far in fact that the tips of the toes on her right foot could barely reach the carpet. Her head was against the headrest and her eyes were closed as she mindlessly rocked in the chair, pushing off gently with her big toe every time it made contact with the floor. Back and forth for hours, her other leg numb and tucked under her, hands hanging limply off the armrests. She hadn't opened her eyes in so long that the faint glow of the sunrise out the window would soon come as a complete surprise.

There was a lone cricket chirping outside, loud enough to hear through the headphones, and Lois had timed her rocking so that the squeak of the chair was lost in the chirp of the cricket. She was mesmerized by it at this point, as the unique 'squee-reep' metronome kept perfect rhythm through the varying cadence of conversation filling her ears.

A long emptied mug of tea sat on her desk within her reach, next to the two tapes that she had listened to so far.

Superman's deep voice rolled through her and she relished when her own recorded voice, raised in quickened questioning, would pause for a long response. Backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards, rocking, synchronized, calming. Backwards and forwards…

"Can you determine the cause of this fire?" There were sirens, voices, water in the background, the microphone too cheap to record everything.

"It appears to be accidental. I saw the hottest and earliest burns around a kitchenette on the fourth floor. No sign of arson, or even faulty wiring, but a matter of carelessness. There are no reported fatalities, the resident will probably be questioned once he or she is located among the victims."

"What are you looking at?" She coughed. It had been a large fire.

"I am constantly x-raying the major support pillars, watching for buckling. I can alert the fire chief who can radio every man in, or in this case around the building, if something serious is about to happen."

"He's prevented five collapses already, and got word to our men in time for an additional three that were unavoidable. The crews are happy for his assistance, he's an entire company onto himself! We now spend less time in the buildings searching for victims or fighting the fire from within, as Superman can usually locate and evacuate victims, or at the very least let us know not to bother with certain areas. We continue to fight the fire from the outside, keep it from spreading to additional buildings, and then collaborate our efforts to extinguish the fire. It takes roughly a quarter of the time."

That was Glenn Baum, the Metropolis fire chief until six years ago. He was paralyzed in a car accident; Superman was very disturbed by it and to Lois' knowledge visited him and his family up until his disappearance. They were good friends.

"My breath can only work in only one direction at a time, and I am usually saving as many people as possible. I can't be everywhere at once; the fire department is still a force beyond all others in managing fires. Their expertise aids me, my powers and speed aid them…" He sounded distracted, but was still sure to give credit where credit was due. He never wanted to extinguish the faith humanity had to have in itself; what firefighter would bother if he felt he was eclipsed in his effectiveness…

"Remind me to get you that hat you wanted." Good-natured chuckling followed this. Lois smiled as she imagined Superman in a fire hat. Backwards and forwards…

"Baum to Reynolds, are we about set?"

"Roger that, we need to move these ambulances…" the logistics of that conversation moved away from the microphone.

"Thank you for your time, Superman."

"Thank you for being my voice, Ms. Lane."

Silence. She waited for the next interview.

'Wait. Silence?' came the fuzzy realization as Lois opened her eyes. The cricket had stopped chirping, and without realizing it, she had stopped rocking.

'Aw, shit,' thought Lois as she squinted at the sun. 'Damnit, what time is it?' and she slowly unfolded herself from the chair, touched down again, and fought the pain of pins and needles everywhere. She took off the headphones, left everything including the mug on her desk, and hobbled up the stairs to her bedroom. Lois liked to drag her fingers along the wall as she went up the steps, bumps in the wallpaper making her wonder why paint wasn't good enough for the former residents (Richard's parents).

"Ugh!" she moaned as she flopped down, "Sleeeeep…" For, as she calculated after glancing at the clock, she had about an hour before Jason would be hopping on her bed, wanting gluten and dairy-free corn muffins and demanding that she take him up on her promise to go to the aquarium. She let her body relax and tried not to think about anything beyond the soft voices that had just left her mind.

Lois was just drifting into sleep, missing Superman's deep voice in her ear when—RING!

"No! Fuck you."

RING.

"Fuck you."

RING.

Fumble, fumble, grasp, crash, fumble, "What."

"Hey, did I wake you?"

"Yes. What."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you'd be awake by now, weren't you going to bring Jason to the zoo?"

'Why do people always take so long to state their intentions when they know they're bothering me?'

Lois waited in silence. Talking was too much effort. 'Maybe he'll just make his point, forty-five minutes is alright, that's fine, sleepy…'

"Lois? Did you stay up late?"

"No," she cleared her throat, this was going to have to be an actual conversation, "How can I help you?" The phone was balanced on her face, half her head pressed flat on the mattress.

"I just wanted to say hi and good morning."

"Okay. That's great, I really appreciate it, you're sweet, but ugh, I think I'm coming down with something, sleep necessary, g'night." Fumble, fumble, SLAM.

The wind was in her hair, a firm body held her tight, 'Don't worry Ms. Lane, I won't drop you…' 'I'm always around…' 'As I watch I alert the fire chief…' 'Chief Baum is in the hospital, I was in China when it happened, I don't know what to do…'

"MUFFINS!"

"Ugh. Oh hi baby, c'mere and nap with mommy…"

"I don't want to nap, I just woke up! Muffins!"

"Yes baby, okay, up, yes, muffins."

She opened her eyes. She was going to need her thermos today.

It was only a few horribly bleary minutes later that Lois was taking her emergency coffee thermos, the big one, out of the cabinet above the sink. She then sat waiting for the muffin halves to warm in the toaster and stared at the coffee maker to pray to the universe that she wouldn't look hung-over. She spread vegan margarine on the muffins, ("No, casein as an ingredient does not make this dairy free. It's not 'lactose intolerant,' it's a milk allergy, there's a difference… never mind! Vegan! Do you have anything that says 'vegan' on it?") and then actually bent her head sideways to inhale the scent of the coffee as it dripped into the carafe. With hot coffee almost burning her nose she tried to tap into whatever font of energy that once bubbled within her during all-nighters in days past.

Lois knew it would get easier once they got started, since Jason's enthusiasm was infectious, as it was meant to be from children to their parents, and she glanced over at him, sighing.

Because a promise is a promise.

The day was most certainly a blur, at least afterwards, but Lois managed to keep a few precious memories of this mother-son adventure amidst absolute fatigue:

They had waited outside the aquarium for it to open because it was that early, and then thankfully a day spent in the presence of a curious child wondering at the world and its various sea creatures made the time go much easier. Sneaking shots of coffee from her thermos when the guide wasn't looking, Lois pet sand sharks, 'oooh'ed at blowfish while they gave their unique version of the finger to the crowd, and even asked a sincerely curious question about seahorses at the end of the tour.

Lois and Jason giggled at the giant shark topiary and its wooden teeth while they ate overpriced sandwiches in the garden outside the Swordfish Café, had a water gun fight in the gift shop ("Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to pay for your purchases now."), and had a 'Great White versus Hammerhead' hand-puppet battle (which Lois reluctantly let herself lose)… all before sneaking their way past the ticket taker and wandering through the halls and exhibits all over again, sans-guide.

Then there was the interminable drive home, when Lois had to discreetly slap herself before getting in the car, just to make sure she was still breathing.

So it was a content but tired mother-and-son-duo that made their way back to Riverside Drive through light traffic, and by the time they got home Jason was drooling on his seat belt, asleep.

She stared at him, a little bit of desperate imagination putting herself in his place, drool and all.

There was nothing for it: she was going to have to make this evening fast or she was going to be too miserable to be worth parenting.

Lois coaxed Jason into wakefulness and set about a precise evening of a little more fun (they played some video games together ("I'll get him a console, but it's only educational games until he's nine!"), a little more sleep (Jason finished his nap while Lois waited for the pizza guy, green with jealousy), food out on the patio ("I like besto!" "Pesto, baby, here, wipe that off. Say 'aquarium,' like I showed you." "Aquarium."), and real-sleep when Lois tucked him into bed ("But it's early!") right after the soy ice-cream.

Dishes off the table, napkins thrown away, takeout boxes in the garbage by the curb, slippers on the feet, and finally back in the living room Lois' eyes had finally started to really burn with the effort of staying awake all day on thirty minutes sleep. She was about to nose-dive onto the couch when she realized she didn't really have the luxury.

Frustrated, she glanced towards her office where she knew more guilty indulgences awaited her. She wanted to use her time alone to her greatest advantage, but was too damn tired to do it, and she was tired because that's what she had been doing to begin with.

It was a little annoying, really, because Lois had no time to pursue her own interests anymore, what with needing to not so much account for but at least let Richard know where she was / what she was doing most of the time. He would ask her what she was watching on TV, wonder at her latest article while she was wiping down the kitchen, poke his head into her office as she was typing because he was bored, wander out to the patio while she was reading, slide the glass door open when she was making a cell phone call on the balcony, and even follow her down to the basement when she went searching for wood screws.

None of this was malicious or the mark of a man controlling his woman, it was just the way people are when they live together. When they share responsibilities, a child, driving, laundry, shopping, and cooking duties. Lois knew that when she moved in, and it had not bothered her since, well, not really. Until now.

Lois started playing with her engagement ring.

Never mind the fact that he worked at the Planet. Granted he usually gave her space at work, but now she was feeling it more keenly. If Lois had known who Richard was, that they would be working together, when she...

Lois leaned against the couch and shook that thought free. Instead she went back to wondering about this trapped feeling. She had been experiencing it ever since she decided to listen to the Superman tapes, but had to wait until Richard left for the conference. It was a guilty pleasure, something she felt she needed to hide, so it was unfair to suddenly feel so hemmed in when really it was probably just the unease of indulging in a forbidden fruit that had her edgy to begin with.

But that started another thought cycle: why shouldn't she listen to these tapes, why did she need to explain it to Richard? Should she have just done it with him home? The more she explored her motives in the days leading up to the conference, the clearer these answers became.

So, now she spent her commute relishing the feeling of being alone in the car and thinking of ways to add some privacy to her life. She began to suggest Richard go flying more and renew his gym membership; she took her lunch out of the office more often using errands as excuses, and even used Clark as an excuse for not coming back.

Unjustified or no, she was fighting the idea of needing to hide. She was fighting it as part of a larger battle that had started back when she had decided to move in. The reason she sent up her white flag was sleeping under jungle-themed sheets upstairs, but those reasons weren't enough now. The boy upstairs wasn't Richard's anymore, at least not entirely, and she needed to know who his father really was, and Jason needed him more than anyone! To explain and understand his powers, to help him in the difficult life his heritage would rest on his small shoulders.

If she had given up so much then, she would have to deceive Richard now. This was the realization she had slowly come to as Richard packed his bag for Washington. Granted, this 'sacrifice' also had a distinctly selfish twist. Yes. Well.

Lois moved around the couch and sat down, resting her head in her hands and listening to the dishwasher whirring in the otherwise silent house. To justify exploring her relationship with Superman as the pursuit of a father for Jason was airtight in the skewed logic of a frantic mother, but she knew there was so much more she would rediscover in the process, and that's what made her fatigued mind pause.

Lois sat back. She was too tired for this. She kicked off her house shoes and started to lay down, deciding to nap for an hour or so, digging in her pocket for her cell phone and falling back into the cushions.

Images, flashes of a helicopter, the Daily Planet roof, 'I've got you miss…' Reliving the moments that her recorder had captured in mono, years ago, the sights behind the sounds, his voice leaving his lips instead of a speaker... the newness, the incredulity…flashes, bits, feelings, shock.

"Is there anything you would like to say to the citizens of Metropolis before we begin? You've never spoken freely with the press and they write your headlines for you." A young reporter, nervous to be faced with the daunting task of interviewing the first alien to live among humanity, the names of famous journalists and groundbreaking interviews coursing through her head, the expression on the face of the thingmanperson in front of her, nervous as well…

"Well, I thank you for that opportunity. There is something I would like to say directly to the citizens of not only Metropolis, but the world." Pause. "I am a visitor to your planet, but I value human life as much as anyone among you. The headlines you mentioned hail me a 'savior' or a 'hero,' but I see myself as just another concerned man among humanity, only with powers and the ability to help beyond that of a normal person. I do not wish to rule, to conquer, or to save in any higher sense than to prevent a murder or a fatal fall," a pause, probably with a smile directed across the balcony, "and I count my blessings for the gifts I have here on your planet. If the population of the world will accept me as an aid to them in their lives, I will consider myself fortunate."

Many questions, only basic at first…

"I am the lone survivor of a planet known to its own people as Krypton, with a 'K'… my powers are the result of the differences in the electromagnetic spectrum under a Yellow Dwarf… a message left to me by my parents… many light years… I cannot disclose where I landed… I can do more than fly, my powers include… I do consider myself an American, but feel those lines are best left undrawn… blue and red, obviously," chuckle, "mint cookie, not chocolate chip, they get stuck in your teeth… I was afraid of heights, actually, but now my only fear is apathy… how much do you think I weigh…"

Their time was short, Lois did not want to push it, and she couldn't have asked for more. She never expected a second interview, never mind a budding friendship…

"Would you like to see?" His voice was playful, Lois took a step back.

"You… you mean fly with you? Up there?" she waved her hand towards the heavens. "Um…"

He took a step closer and held out his hand, "Don't worry, Ms. Lane, I won't drop you, and even if I did I could just scoop you up again."

All she had been doing was taking a cigarette break on the roof. He must have spotted her and decided to play a trick because the next thing she knew she was in a freezing breeze under the June sun. After getting both her attention and a small yelp, he had landed and told her there was a Tall Ship in the harbor.

Lois failed to see what was so special about that, but she took a step forward and slid her hand into his; he was so warm! She tucked the recorder into her shirt and under her bra strap for stability, microphone angled out. There was no way she was missing this.

"Here, I usually fly parallel to the ground, but we'll try this," and like a nervous boy at prom he tried to arrange their bodies together so that they could hold each other, as if in dance, face to face. It was the first of a thousand times that she watched him blush, and while she appreciated the proximity to a fine specimen like any worldly woman, the fact that he blushed sent her blushing for the first time in years. He told her to stand on his toes. Their bodies came flush, she blushed more and was distracted enough by that to forget that she was about to float over Metropolis the twenty-something blocks it took to get to the harbor from the Planet. She remembered two seconds later.

"Ahhhhh! Shit! No way, put me down! Shit shit!"

"Hold on, come, trust me."

And that was the first time any human knew the power of Superman's voice, whether hardened in command, sharp in anger, or soft in thought. Lois looked up into his face, the recorder starting to record the fuzz of rushing wind as Superman began to accelerate.

She was happy her interviews never went public because the hypnotized, love-struck, "Okay…" would have been ripe for blackmail.

Lois remembered staring in disbelief at the city below, squinting against the afternoon sun reflecting off windows, catching glimpses of flabbergasted people spotting her in the arms of the world's most wondered-at resident. She took a deep breath and looked straight down, which was such a shock of perspective that Lois shifted in Superman's arms, her feet slipped off his boots, and two squared-heeled bargains started their plummet towards the streets below.

"Oh! Those could kill someone!"

Superman chuckled in her ear and moved his head quickly to peer down past her shoulder, his eyes taking on a red hue. "No, one landed on a roof and the other," Beat. "Well, the other just went through the rear window of a parked car." There was laughter in his voice.

Lois snickered, "Maybe I should drop my insurance policy number through the windshield." He chuckled again. Good, the ice was broken.

"Your eyes, they just glowed red..."

"Mmm? Ah, I was going to vaporize them should either of them, eh, attempt to kill someone. I suppose my eyes glow when I 'access' my heat vision." The laughter was still there, full force. Lois had the distinct impression she amused him in a general sense, all the time. She also got the impression that he was very unused to speaking about his powers, like the terminology and external effects were as new to him as it they were to the world. He was articulating all of himself for the first time. Lois checked on the tape recorder.

"Ready for more?"

"More?" A nervous squeak.

And pressing her a little closer, Superman began to ascend and accelerate; Lois reveled in the sensation, sound no replacement for the memories of flying free through the air without enclosure or the whir of engines. Lois' fingers began to register the strange feel of the fabric she was gripping, her ears opened as the sounds of traffic and city life faded away, her lungs took in the fresh air above the smog.

In no other way could flying be so personal, so fantastic. It was better than defying gravity with technology, she was defying it simply through the power of this extraordinary being, simply by holding onto him. Interview forgotten, the harbor fast approaching, a mast towering high above the water, boyish glee in the eyes of the most powerful living creature on this side of the galaxy. Lois watched him tip his head back into the sun, close his eyes, and watched his face open in joy at the wavelengths of light filtering through his skin.

The wonder of it all.

"Would you like to see?" "I am the last of my kind, an orphan to a doomed world..." "Look, mommy, ships!" "Sam at the Metropolis Star called and said he saw you floating past his window!" "I want a fire hat! Can I get one?"

Lois woke with a start. Her alarm was beeping. She groaned and sat up, hitting the damn button as fast as she could. The house was silent, the dishwasher finished. Lois looked around and put a hand to her mussed hair. The dream hovered on the edge of her mind and she reached out for it. Luckily she was able to grasp hold of it before it faded back into the ether.

Their first flight.

She sighed, suddenly feeling more like a girl than the younger Lois had felt like a woman. She was overwhelmed with a sudden sense of agelessness, the kind she used to see in Superman's face when they first met. She contemplated this for a few minutes and glanced out the bay window, hoping beyond reason to see a Tall Ship.

'I need to water that plant.' Her rare, hybridized violet stared back at her from the windowsill, begging for specially fertilized water.

After attending to the violet, shutting all the lights and checking the locked doors, Lois made her way upstairs, straightened the picture on the landing that tilted every time Jason bounded down the stairs, and quietly turned the knob to Jason's room. She felt suddenly drawn there, like she had in the early days of her motherhood, standing crib-side and wondering at the life form that had escaped her body. Lois leaned against the doorframe, gazing quietly at the silent form as it took deep breaths in repose.

'Will you fly one day? Are you half-human, or half...' She paused in the thought. So rarely did Lois think of him as "Kryptonian" or "alien." At first, it was all she could see: the powers, the inhuman glow to his eyes in the moonlight, the way tilting his head towards the light rejuvenated him instantly. But that sense of otherness had faded long ago.

'You're both ageless. At least to me.' Jason's presence in her life had brought that sense of youth back into the mundane, the way he looked at things reminded her of the way Superman did, and vice versa. Two boys.

Her gaze moved to the window, half hoping to see him there watching them. 'You're no longer alone, no longer singular in the universe. Does it mean as much to you as I think it does? Does it help you to know that the search for your kind did end in your finding it? Does he give you as much hope as he gives me?'

Lois made her way to the window and stared out across the sky towards the bay. She watched the gentle rise and fall of the water, remembered full sails and wet rope. 'I do need to do this. I need to find us again. And I'll find a way. More late night time at the Planet, or an assignment out of the office.' She looked down at her phone, still in her hand, to check the time. 11:32. Two missed calls from Richard.

She turned and padded quietly out of the room, set her alarm while she walked down the hallway, slipped off her clothes and crawled into bed. She couldn't listen tonight, she was far too tired. But she'd find a way tomorrow, and the day after that, and beyond Richard's return to the city. The smell of salt air was still fresh in her nostrils, the memories returning full force. Lois closed her eyes.

"I've always loved ships. Look, at the topsail; can you imagine anything more thrilling?"

Lois turned to look at him in absolute disbelief. A man who could drop her, circle the globe, and catch her before she reached the water thought sailing was the most thrilling thing. But as Lois looked at him and wrapped her mind around the reality of the situation she was in, the interviews she was getting, the friendship that she could feel forming and the desire that still lingered somewhere back in their mutual blush, she thought, 'Yes, I can think of something.'

Superman blew gently towards the ship; the captain had to grab something as he fell backwards with the sudden momentum in his sails, and she felt a chuckle in her ear.