Chapter 1

I do not know how long I have been in the Fade.

Time twists here, strange and stagnant, leaving me all but suspended within it. I forgot basic needs and wants, like hunger, thirst, or sleep. I felt like my life had been mundane before arriving here, thus I had nothing to truly compare the sensation to. Perhaps the closest approximation could be found in the space between waking and dreams. Imagine for a moment you are in bed not fully awake, but not asleep. You are simply present. You know where you are, and you are comfortable; time doesn't seem to matter. You could lie here for an eternity and it would scarcely make a difference.

Gwen, a spirit of wisdom, had become my closest friend in this place, along with a spirit of compassion, whom I have dubbed Adelaide. Adelaide was the spirit who brought me to see Wisdom. I spent most of my time within Gwen's domain: a great library, hungrily absorbing as much of her knowledge and teachings as I could.

Nonetheless, I think my situation frustrated Gwen. We have been through every one of her books. I have learned a lot because of this, as it turns out I didn't even have to read the book to obtain the knowledge inside it. I think that's the way she made them, though. Unfortunately, I didn't learn this the easy way. I mistakenly touched a tome about elven Arcane Warriors, and learned everything an Arcane Warrior spent their lives learning in just a matter of moments; it left my head pounding for what felt like a lifetime.

Gwen scolded me for touching her books, but after I explained that I wanted to help her find a way to get me back to the world of the waking, instead of her doing all the work she calmed down some. After that, she started bringing me books that my mind could handle. I learned a lot about magic this way; I even learned Elvish and Orlesian.

I flopped onto the couch, that was tucked among the bookshelves. Gwen made it after I had told her what they were made of and what they were for, much to my delight. I flipped open a book on Ferelden History, and began my perusal. My memories were becoming faded, as my connection to my old life weakened, and it became harder and harder to recall them as time went on. If not for books like this one, I would most likely have forgotten my life.

Not that this life was a bad one. I had infinite time and knowledge at my fingertips, so I never wanted for amusement. When I was not learning practical skills, I was reading. It was most likely the only thing keeping me sane.

Gwen was kind in the schoolteacher kind of way. Perhaps the teacher you accidentally call 'mom' in class. She approached and I moved my legs for her to sit.

"Zachary, magic is something you find to be of interest. Would you perhaps like to learn about it?" Gwen was always level-headed, and incredibly practical. She was a spirit of wisdom after all. She held great respect for those who wanted to learn, to expand their opinions and consider another view of things; but Gwen wouldn't suggest something for me to do without cause. Perhaps she felt that in the Fade it was best to know how to defend myself in the best way possible. She was right though; I found the topic highly intriguing.

"Of course I want to learn about magic!" I eagerly leapt up in delight, leaving my book forgotten on the couch. I felt like a child with too much energy and having received the very best gift in the world. "Will you be teaching me?" I asked facing her again having nearly missed that she didn't offer herself as a teacher for such a daunting task. The small glimmer of amusement in her eyes gave me hope. She chuckled.

"I suppose in the art of magic any spirit can teach you the basics, however, I suppose I would be the best to school you." I gave a celebratory whoop; this made her laugh.

Magic was difficult. I don't know what possessed me into thinking that just some twiddling of my fingers and a little imagination would make it work. No, there was a science to it. There were times I got so frustrated with all the book work and the studying I would get up and walk away. There were thousands of volumes just for theory alone. It was a lifetime of work Gwen was attempting to teach me in what felt like minutes, or was it years? Regardless, I had a lot of theory to learn before applying myself to actually casting.

We also learned that just because the knowledge was in my brain after absorbing one of her books, it did not mean I understood what was in them. Also, that doing one thing constantly was not good for someone like me, so I needed frequent breaks. I had a long way to go.

In the times I took as breaks, I learned a lot about the history of Thedas, about the Elvhen and how the empire was crumbling before the humans of Tevinter even thought about taking over the remains. About the Dread Wolf and how he raised the Veil up, trapping the Creators and Forgotten Ones behind it, ending the war. I had the theory that the elven race, though likely dying now, would have been wiped out completely. At least, however long it's been since then, they now had a fighting chance, despite human society working against them at every turn.

Partway through my current bout of studying, Adelaide came in with another spirit, one that I didn't know. I closed my book and waved the two of them over.

"Adel, who is your friend?" Adelaide huffed at my name for her. Both she and Gwen had disliked the names at first. Then I told them of their basis, marks of individuality and endearment, and they grudgingly accepted them.

"I am a spirit of Valour! Why is it that you call Compassion something that she is not?" He was loud. I blinked a few times at the sound of another male voice, and the fact that he made my ears ache.

"Nice to meet you Valour. I call Compassion Adelaide so that I can tell the difference between her and other spirits of compassion. Adelaide means 'noble kind.' I thought it fit rather well." I defended my intentions, but before Valour could question me further, Adelaide told him enough.

"Zachary, I brought Valour here in hopes he would teach you how to fight." I nodded my head in understanding. My magic theory was good and all, but in action, it was different. I hadn't had the chance to use the skills I learned in a more practical setting.

"He agreed so long as you prove yourself." At that, I blanked. That might be a bit of a problem. I am a little cowardly. Yet, I smiled at him after a moment.

"I can try."

Training with Valour was interesting, to say the least. He was always pushing me to my limits and, seeing as I didn't have a body to feel basic needs, we didn't know if I could feel pain. As it turned out, I certainly could. No, I didn't feel muscle pain from doing physical work, but I did feel pain if it came from something with the intent to hurt me. Therefore, learning how to fight was a painful experience. The spirit made it a point to ingrain the fighting skills into me to the point where my body would never forget the feel of a sword in one hand and a staff in the other.

Valour taught me many battlefield-related skills ranging from hand to hand combat, to working with weapons, but the skills he taught were what I would call 'honourable'. No dirty tricks. Also, no magic. I suppose he was leaving that to Gwen.

Names where interesting. I liked to give them to the spirits I had grown close to; it made this whole experience in the Fade more real when it often didn't feel that way. It also made it less confusing when coming across other spirits, and that often happened with Valour. I needed a name for him.

"Face your fear, do not hold back!" Valour yelled at me from the side-lines as I fought a demon of despair. It was not the first time I had fought demons, but it was the first demon of despair and it was devastating on my emotions, setting a core of cold dread deep within me.

I knew I had died at some point, and that is how I got here to begin with. I had left a life behind: a mother, father, brother, and a sister. And a fair few friends that I can recall from the fuzzy memories I had. The ache of despair made it difficult for me to push these thoughts of loss from my mind.

Yet, Valour yelled his encouragement, drawing me back to the present. He stood a good distance away from the fight so as not to interfere with my learning. I was getting frustrated with both Valour and the demon, but also myself. I closed my eyes for a moment and emptied my mind. Opening my eyes once more, I moved out of my cover that protected me from the icy cold ray Despair would conjure. I dodged nimbly to the left, and launched a hasty fireball in its direction. The screech that came from it was nearly deafening, but it had already done so several times in an attempt to distract me, it had worked the first few times. I immediately moved towards it as fast as I could, hurling out another spell, feeling the deep chill of its icy projectiles skimming past me. One final dash and I was within range; I lifted my sword, and with my own furious yell, lopped its head clean off.

I stood still for a moment, watching the tainted spirit meld back into the Fade, no longer able to keep its form. The name for Valour came to me then.

"Victor." I turned to face Valour then. "I think I will call you Victor."

It seemed Victor liked having a name. Every time I addressed him by it, he would grace me with a broad smile.

Some amorphous Fade days later, Adelaide startled me by sitting at my feet during one of my study breaks with Gwen, I was too focused on the book of Orlesian history to notice her approach. She smiled at me in amusement. I rolled my eyes at her. She had been a good friend, always willing to help me with my problems. Having someone to lean on and talk to about my troubles was all I needed most of the time. She took it all in like a sponge in water.

But today, she offered help of a different kind. She pulled out a set of daggers and placed them on the couch next to me. I admired them for a moment; they were very nice blades. I lifted a brow at her. She made these, that much I could tell, but she had her own favourite set on her belt.

"I want to teach you how to fight like I do." Adelaide made a simple statement, but it meant a lot. Victor was good for fighting overall, he taught me how to use a sword and staff, so far, my favourite combo, as well as a variety of other weapons, but Adelaide fought 'dishonourably' according to Victor. Rogue versus Knight I supposed. I smiled at her. Yes, her style was different from Victor's but all's fair in war, right?

I now had a very comprehensive list of magical skills. Elemental magics came easily to me, but healing not so much. Gwen assured me that was normal. Healing magic was the most difficult to learn, after all. I could safely say that I could heal bumps and bruises, but anything more than that, especially in the middle of a battle, I might cause more harm than good. Lightning magic was a personal favourite and comparatively easy to master, especially with my sword as a conductor. Gwen thought that perhaps I might have an affinity for it. It wasn't uncommon for a mage to favour one element over another.

Adelaide and Victor would sometimes squabble like an old married couple over who's techniques in battle were better, but I found my style of fighting through the both of them. I favoured a longsword in my dominant hand and a staff in the other, lighter armour for faster movement, and magic to boost my fighting skills. I favoured using shields and self-haste spells. lacing my blades with an element of my choice. It didn't leave a lot of room for other spells, but I didn't necessarily need my magic to be deadly. That is where the physical weapons came into play.

The first time I used a self-haste spell both Adelaide and Victor bemoaned the fact that I had done so. They claimed it was cheating, and that was rich coming from Adelaide. I could only laugh at them, but the effects of haste spells were strange. Here in the Fade everything appeared to slow down. The slash of a blade that was once too fast for the eye to catch became no more than a languid arc. My 'body' moved at the same speed as everyone else, but my mind was working a mile a minute. Gwen told me that whatever I did wasn't a haste spell and I learned about the actual spell right there, and learned the differences. We didn't know what to call the spell I had apparently just created, so I dubbed it self-haste for simplicity.

Yet, despite my rigorous training, and, frankly, impressive new arsenal of skills, I found myself woefully unprepared for what came next.

There was a darkness within the air that day, a discordant ripple of danger.

"Something is –"

"Wrong," said Gwen from beside me.

I stood, turning around in a slow circle. My eyebrows came together in thought as I attempted to pinpoint its source; the Fade was rippling with foreign energy. I turned to Gwen, who sat next to me, her brow knit just like mine.

"I feel it as well." I watched as she stood. "Someone is coming." I took that as a bad thing, normally Gwen and I would welcome fellow spirits as guests, but this felt different. Powerful, not that Gwen wasn't powerful, this just felt... negative…demonic.

I pulled out my sword and my quarterstaff and waited. Out of habit, I took a deep breath. Soon enough Adelaide and Victor came tumbling into the library looking a little frazzled. They had barely had enough time to move our way before a demon of desire and a few rage demons were at their heels. Adelaide and Victor stood in front of me, effectively blocking me from their view. Gwen took a step forward.

"What is it that you want Desire?" I am not all that surprised that Gwen is so calm in this situation. This was a domain of Wisdom, after all. She could send Desire through a maze with so many tricks and riddles that it would make the demon want to go back the way she came.

"Oh, don't play dumb Wisdom it doesn't suit you. You know very well why I am here. I want that soul you have been keeping as a pet for the last little while. You see, I was summoned to find a soul to fill a body." I didn't like the sounds of 'summoned' or 'fill a body' for that matter. It sounded an awful lot like blood magic, an art my lessons had taught me to distrust. Gwen and I had gone over the basics of it, it was a method of using magic after all, but it left me deeply uncomfortable. Using one's own blood was one matter, but with the blood of others at hand, it left far too much room for terrible people to do terrible things.

Adelaide appeared to notice my distress, and held out her hand to me. I brushed the back of my sword hand against it and felt the instant wash of calm.

"Hmm. Who summoned you?" Gwen asked, her tone still steely calm.

"A human mage, pathetic thing really, I intend to take over his body once I am done with you." Its sickly smooth tone sent shivers up my spine and knotted my stomach into a tangle of dread. Gwen, however, remained unphased. It was amazing how she could get all this information out of a demon without it lying to her, then again what would a demon gain from lying to the other spirit? Nothing.

That is when I saw the rage demons.

While Desire was keeping us distracted, they were slinking around to a flanking position. I tapped Victor's leg with my quarterstaff, gaining his attention. I nodded my head towards one of the flaming creatures of Rage. He scoffed.

"Do you think such cowardly tactics will work on us demons! Do not take us lightly fools! I will not let harm come to Zachary!" He bellowed the words out like a battle cry. He readied his massive two-handed sword in preparation to fight, Adelaide pulled out a set of daggers at the same time as Victor. Gwen was now next to me. I watched as the surrounding area became a maze, the once cosy furniture twisting and melding into impenetrable walls. I lifted my middle finger at the desire demon as a towering bookcase blocked her off from the four of us.

"We do not have much time before they find a way to get to us," Gwen said, turning on her heel to look behind us. I did the same. "You must leave. The demons and their summoner want to use you and control you. I know of only one way to prevent such a thing from happening. I also doubt that the mage responsible will stop at just sending these demons." Gwen started to move forward at a staggeringly fast dash, and I hurried to match her pace. I was becoming more confused by the moment.

"Gwen, slow down, what are you talking about?" I asked. Adelaide and Victor kept pace with me standing guard as we sped through the maze of Gwen's domain.

"The mage responsible has cast a very complex blood magic ritual to create a being of flesh and magic. The spell he has cast will bind the soul within to his will. He will be relentless in obtaining a soul, and you are one such soul, an easy target for the corrupted spirits to bring to him. I only know of one way to end this. You will enter that body he has made of your own accord, preventing the demons from binding you to his will. It is extremely important to keep the demons away from you when entering this body." I blinked a few times; the realisation of what Gwen was suggesting hit me hard. I was leaving. There was no other way around it. I felt a hand on my shoulder pull me out of my shock. I stared back into Adelaide's kind eyes.

"We will be with you every step of the way Zachary." I could feel the shift in my emotion as Adelaide's touch calmed me down, settling my emotions. The grief that would have suddenly hit me like a charging bull was swept temporarily away, and I was left with peace. Adelaide would not leave me unless she had to.

"The three of you will be in my dreams, right?" Adelaide and Victor both smiled, giving me their assurances.

"I will not,' Gwen said softly. "This is my domain. I will not leave it for demons to desecrate. I would rather the knowledge I have gathered be lost than used for their deviant ways." She placed her hand on a wall, creating a magical doorway, a portal of sorts, swirling with a deep, purple magic.

"I will stay with Wisdom." I turned to Victor as he spoke. He glanced over at Gwen. "It is not within your nature to fight, so I will fight for you. May my blade protect you." I should have expected that one, I nodded my head to him. It was in his nature to fight.

"If you stay with Wisdom, I will help Zachary. I think it fitting really, I helped him when he arrived and now, I shall help him as he leaves."

I remember meeting Adelaide for the first time. She was kind, and I was very, very afraid, and perhaps—no, certainly—a little naive. Yes, Gwen's domain was a home for me, but Adelaide was the one to bring me there. I smiled a little sadly. I had to leave, I had to leave these wonderful people.

"Thank you." The words were rushed, and I choked over them a little, and I turned quickly away in an effort to hide my anguish. I took a deep breath, and stepped through the gate before me.

Going through the portal was easy, and there were, in fact no visible demons on the other side. The place it led to felt…off. The space looked like a ritual room. Morbid and twisted, a dark red portal stood in its centre. I flinched at the thought of its power source. Blood, a lot of blood, was leaving a portal into the Fade open.

There were a lot of sensations going on around the room, none of them good. I could feel malice, hate, pain, and fear all at the same time. The Fade mimicked the mortal plane when it could, and whatever happened around that portal was bad. I looked to Adelaide and she gave a nod of encouragement. I took several, tentative steps forward, caution in our movements prepared for the worst to happen.

The worst happened.

Suddenly, all kinds of demons poured forth from the very walls, some wreathed in flames, others drifted forward, skull-like maws open in hungry screams.

Adelaide and I dispatched as many as we could. Shade after shade, demon after demon. I felt the exhaustion settling into my core as more approached. Adelaide had her back to me as I stood sickeningly close to the roiling blood portal.
I threw a glance over my shoulder, to see her face set in grim determination. As she caught my gaze, her back straitened, and I knew, with plummeting dread, exactly what she was going to say.

"Zachary, you must go now. Move faster than they can, I know you are capable. I will keep them distracted."

"Okay." It was all I could say, I couldn't even manage a goodbye.

I moved then, drawing on those familiar magics, watching the world slow around me. Adelaide moved too, rushing into the crowd of demons, twin blades flashing. As I moved through the portal, I was helpless, and could only watch as a pride demon caught Adelaide in its fearsome grasp.

I let out a silent scream as it tore her asunder.

The pain of going through the portal was intense. For the first time in a long time pain was bone deep, muscles pulled and burned. I blacked out.

I groaned out loud as I gained consciousness. I wasn't in the Fade any longer, that much I could feel. My body felt heavy, gravity now playing a part in reality. I took a moment to breathe, but it might have been a mistake. The smell of death and decay, and iron invaded my senses. Even breathing through my mouth left the pungent taste of death on my tongue. I nearly gagged at the putrid stench.

I lay where I was for a while as the last few memories of my time in the Fade came swimming back to me. Adelaide died, she died, and for all I knew Gwen and Victor could be dead as well. I could feel the tears beginning to run down my new-found flesh. I could feel my nose start to stuff as the tears continued to flow, blocking the metallic tang of blood and rot. I opened my eyes to come face to face with a man grinning from ear to ear. Threads of saliva glistened between his lips, and his eyes, behind an ornate mask, were hollow, and steely cold.

I glared at him. He stood around average height, and with perfect posture, his hair dark, but peppered with grey. His clothes looked pristine, and his hands were covered in blood. Notably not a speck made it to his very white outfit.

Ignoring him for a moment I looked around the room. The smell of death now had a source; I couldn't count how many dead bodies were scattered about the space. Beyond that, the room was rather Orlesian in style, blue walls, gold leaf and plaster deco on the ceiling. This would have been a rather beautiful room if not for the swathes of blood and corpses.

"Finally." His tone was triumphant, his voice as smooth as slime. "You're awake!"