X-Men: Fate

Renegade's Lyrics

Reth and Reva stood on opposite sides of the room as they waited for Adrian to return. Reth stood with his arms crossed gazing out of the window. Reva stood by the door with her hands behind her head watching over Reth.

"Do you believe he can change?" Reva asked him.

"Who are we talking about?" Reth asked her.

She wasn't exactly sure. Armod came to mind. Adrian did too.

"Do you believe people can change?" Reva rephrased her question.

"That's been my hope since as far back as I can remember," Reth answered the best he could.

"I think I'm worried about you," Reva said.

"You don't think I should lead the team," Reth said: without turning around to face her.

"No," Reva said. "This isn't about the team. I mean, I thought I should be suspicious of Adrian. But Adrian went through a lot. And I think he learned how to rely on people. Whether he wanted to rely on them or not. You, on the other hand, I realize you're not just a Boy Scout. You've got secrets. You don't rely on others. You don't let anyone in. You do, but you don't." Reva shook her head. She found it hard to find the words to explain what she meant. She kept her focus on Reth.

"I'm trying," Reth said. "Because of you two, I'm trying."

Of course Reth understood her. If nothing else, Reva knew Reth had a knack for understanding people on a higher or deeper level.

"Try harder," Reva said, which caused Reth to smile even though Reva couldn't see it. "I'm not rushing you. I get you like to take care of people. Take care of yourself too."

Adrian entered the room. He had returned.

"Had a good talk in there," Adrian said. He went a stood just behind Reth. He gently grasped Reth's arms. "You have a good talk in there too." He released him.

Reth left the room without facing either Adrian or Reva.

"I'll look after you if you look after him," Adrian said to Reva.

"I'm a step ahead of you," Reva said. "He's looking after you, which means I don't have to. So, we're all good." She nodded.

Adrian smiled and nodded in returned.

!~!~!

"I thought I was speaking with Reth," Jean said when Remy came into the room and shut the door behind him.

"You are," Remy said. "Reth will talk to you. However, RJ won't. That's where I come in."

"RJ…" Jean said.

"You're going to project me into Reth's mind," Remy said, "so I can speak with RJ privately."

"Shouldn't we talk about this with Reth first?" Jean said. "Might this be a violation of his privacy?"

"The way I see it Reth kept RJ a secret," Remy said. "This kid's a wild one, and he requires a united front. I think this plan will help him: in a way that he won't feel is help."

"You think Reth needs help?" Jean questioned.

"Don't we all," Remy said. He continued before Jean tried to unpack that. "RJ is a manifestation of trauma Reth experienced. That's what Emma and Ororo say anyway. Reva has no problem laying everything about herself on the table. Adrian recognizes himself and just keeps that self of his private. Reth? He tries to ignore himself, tries to be perfect for the good of everyone else. That's not going to do him or his team any good."

"That's insightful Remy," Jean said. "How do you know this about him?"

"Guess I have a knack for recognizing traumatic inner turmoil that involves dual personalities, mon amie," Remy said. He thought of Anna and Carol for a singular, serious moment before he gave a mischievous smile to Jean.

"I agree with you," Jean said. "We're the best suited to guide Reth on his X-Men path, on the path of life."

~!~!~!~

"Miss Grey," Reth said, entering the room and going to stand before her.

"Remy," RJ said, as Remy entered Reth's mind and stood before him. "I'm looking at what we've got here, and it's looking like a dual assault."

"Have a seat Reth," Jean said.

"You're Reth too," Remy said, "and if you're going to be a part of the action you've got to be part of the process. I don't make the rules mon cher." He shrugged.

"If it means I get to look at you and Jean the whole session," RJ said, "I'm all for it. Any way, I'm not the one trying to keep secrets. What do you want to know?"

Reth and Jean sat simultaneously.

"I'm going to be honest and straightforward with you," Jean said. "At this moment that I am talking with you Remy is talking with RJ."

"I'm not in sync with RJ at the moment," Reth said. "I wasn't hearing his voice so I figured something like that. You separated us, but when we reconnect we'll be privy to each other's conversation."

"Do you see him as a separate person?" Jean asked.

"Yes and no," Reth answered. He said nothing more.

"Why are you so guarded?" Jean asked. She didn't push.

"I have to be," Reth said.

"Can you explain?" Jean asked.

"I'm probably the one on the team who needs these sessions the most," Reth said, "but I can't have you all thinking I'm crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not depressed. I just don't think any of you could understand."

"You'll have to forgive me," Jean said. "They're might be a lot of people who wouldn't, but I think I could if you give me a chance."

"I'm the leader," Reth said. "I am an influencer. I have an obligation to the veterans, my team, human and mutant kind, so they don't lose faith in me."

"I was the perfect person for you to speak to," Jean said. "I no longer consider myself a veteran, and I'm not a member of your new team. Besides that, the Phoenix and I were, managed to be both disconnected and connected: for good and for bad. You can be open with me."

"RJ is too much," Reth said after a brief silence. "I don't want him to be me. But he is. If I try to keep him separate, he antagonizes me, but I enjoy him. I admit he makes me, life feel less heavy." He allowed another brief silence, and Jean waited. "I do feel like you would understand where I'm coming from, what I feel."

"Because this goes past your history and your current reality," Jean said. "It regards your Aura Manipulation."

Reth nodded.

"I'm curious to know why we don't see more of you," Remy said to RJ.

"That's easy," RJ said. "I'm the irresponsible one. If he let me out more, he'd be in trouble all the time. I'd be flirting and fucking everywhere. I want to drink, smoke, party, use my powers for fun. Lounge around. Chill." He sighed. "I'm anger, and rage, and pain, unbridled joy, and passion, and intensity. He can't allow me. He's got a job to do."

"His head and heart have been locked down for a while now," Remy said, pondering. "Doesn't sound healthy."

"I don't know," RJ said. "It works for him."

"But does it work for you?" Remy questioned him.

RJ just breathed.

"I could do so much with my powers," Reth told Jean, "but I wouldn't be the same."

"Are you afraid of losing control?" Jean asked.

"No," Reth said. "I can be in control. Stay in control. Through training and practice and study. I think I'll no longer care: about anything I'll do or how I'll do it."

"I'm not Reth's enemy," RJ said. "I'm not trying to wrest control of his body. If he stops giving a shit, about the world and how people view him, it's going to be fun but it'll definitely be trouble. Honestly, we just haven't figured out a way yet to coexist."

"You gain something by being yourself," Reth told Jean, "but you lose something too."

"What's that?" Jean asked.

"The people around you," Reth said.

"You can't have everything," RJ told Remy. "We want everything."

"I say you can have it all," Remy said. "Maybe he could. Maybe you could. But you got to try. Because the dual personalities. It looks like giving up to me. Maintaining separate selves looks like unnecessary work."

"That's not," Jean tried to think of a counter. She couldn't because she saw the Phoenix wiping out the people she had loved most.

"It's all the same throughout history until now," Reth said. "Race, Sexuality, Religion, Mutant Ability. Erik lost Charles. Charles lost Erik. Scott lost you. You lost Scott. Anna lost Raven. I lost Tess. And when I did, I almost killed over her."

!~!~!

Reth and Tess had stood on the corner. They had been on their way to the city bus stop to catch their ride home. Armod had joined them. Then, Armod's friend crossed the street to accost them.

"Armod," Tess had said. "I was going to text you when I got home."

"I know," Armod said. "I wanted to offer you a ride." When he noticed his friend, Armod addressed him. "Chaz, what you doing over this way?"

"Get away from her Armod!" Chaz shouted.

"Hey," Reth said. "What's going on? You all right?"

"You shut the hell up!" Chaz shouted. "You don't talk to me! Armod, they've been playing you like a sap. I tried to tell 're mutants, and they sleeping around all over the place."

"Chaz," Reth said. "We're not mutants. Just because we support peace and justice for mutants, for everyone, doesn't make us mutants."

"Tell the truth!" Chaz shouted at Tess.

"What's he talking about?" Armod asked Tess.

"He's upset because I know you two are purifiers," Tess said. "He told me. He thought that would chase me away from you. It didn't."

"You're mutant scum," Chaz said cold. "You're a slut, a whore. You want to turn everything on me."

"She's not," Reth said sharply.

"Don't insult my girl!" Armod shouted angrily.

"You don't have to tell the truth," Chaz said. "I'm going to take care of you." He reached behind his back, aimed the gun at Tess, and shot her three times in the chest.

Reth turned and watched as Tess fell. Armod had been the one to catch her. Reth and Armod watched Tess bleed all over Armod. Armod took out his phone to call 911. Reth's eyes met Tess'.

"Tess…" Reth whispered. He closed his eyes, turned toward Chaz, and when he opened his eyes again he was someone else. He jumped at Chaz.

Chaz shot who he thought was Reth. The bullet didn't phase him as RJ had manifested. RJ beat Chaz until he was black, blue, and bloody. RJ took Chaz's gun and froze and destroyed it, leaving it in pieces. When Chaz lay unconscious, in a pool of his own blood and teeth, RJ turned and stood, rejoined Tess and Armod. His eyes beheld an unconscious Tess and a crying Armod.

RJ and Armod's eyes met.

"She's dead," Armod said.

Reth returned as he dropped to Tess' side. He grabbed her wrist. He tried to check her pulse. He looked upon Tess. He tried to embrace her. He placed his cheek next to her cheek. Reth grabbed at his chest, closed his eyes. He shut them tight. And when he burst into tears, and tried to breathe, he sent out an aura pulse wave. Several cars exploded. Buildings cracked and crumbled. Tess' body disappeared. Nothing but dust left in her place. Reth and Armod lay unconscious. They had fallen out. They had fallen into darkness.

~!~!~!~

"You didn't kill Tess," Jean told Reth.

Reth had his head bowed. He had grabbed at his chest.

"Reth," Jean called to him. She made him look up. "I killed the people who meant the most to me. I know loss: loss of loved ones and loss of self. I loved the Phoenix, who I was with her. I felt free. Power. Freedom. They were intoxicating. Please don't tell anyone."

"I wouldn't," Reth said.

"I tell you this because maybe you can learn from my mistakes," Jean said. "Instead of trying to stuff down that part of you, hide it, ignore it, or placate it, please embrace it. Find balance. So, you won't end up destroying everything and everyone around you."

"Either way I'll lose people," Reth said.

"If you keep striving for this unobtainable goal of perfection," Jean said, "barring people away from you, you will lose: period."

"Headmaster Xavier made this look easy," Reth said.

"What?" Jean asked.

"Being a pillar for those he wanted to protect and keep safe, for those he loved," Reth said. "For him, that was everybody. How did he do it I wonder."

"He had his flaws," Jean said, "but he was always himself. He was always himself and because of that every heart connected to his and believed what he believed possible: that we all can be better and the world can be better."

"Is it wrong for me to try to follow in his footsteps?" Reth asked.

"No," Jean said. "It is wrong to try to be him and not follow in his footsteps in your own way." Her eyes met his. Reth nodded.

"Is Reth broken," Remy asked RJ, "you think?"

"He thinks he is," RJ said.

"Do you encourage him to be more himself?" Remy asked.

"Actually," RJ said, "I do, but then he would lose me."

"And he's afraid of losing you," Remy said. He smirked. "He wants you around."

"He's afraid of everything," RJ said, "but you know what they say 'fake it 'til you make it."

"Now I'm confused," Remy said. "He made it. Didn't he?"

"He's an X-Man," RJ said. "But the conflict between humans and mutants is far from over. Armod makes excellent points. He sees himself as a danger. He's a train wreck. His words. But as long as he's alive, he'll continue moving forward."

Remy shook his head.

"He's got too much on his mind: in his head," Remy said. "He's too young to try shouldering the world's problems. He needs you. He needs me too. I never thought I'd say that about a student. This war, call it what it is, isn't a sprint. It's a marathon. He'll kill himself before anything or anyone else does if he keeps at things like this. You and I have to constantly remind him of that. That the conflict isn't all that life is. If he can't hold fast to that."

"If you use what I'm telling you against him," RJ said, "to get him off the team, I'll be coming for you."

"I believe it," Remy said. "No need to worry about that. I don't see Reth as a liability. You either. He needs help, and taking the team and the X-Men from him wouldn't be helpful."

"We're in agreement," RJ said.

"Besides," Remy said, "now that we're with him, he's in no better hands."

"Our time is up," Jean said. "Do you feel you said everything you needed to say?"

Reth stood. His gaze was out of the window. It was on Headmaster Xavier's statue. He refocused on Jean.

"I don't think I'm fit to be the leader," Reth told Jean. "If I ever seem on the verge of being a problem or enemy, please and let the other vets know, to end me."

"Reth…"

Reth walked toward the door, but before he left.

"Just as a precaution," Reth said: hopeful. "Because I plan to make changes to ensure that never has to happen."

Jean smiled to herself.

Reth smiled to himself, as he left the room.