[Posted: December 6, 2019]
Part of the Memories series.
Once again Huggiebird has inspired me by sending me educational videos on YouTube. Many creative liberties were taken and things escalated more than I thought they would but that's okay.
The idea of these two dancing and getting dressed up all fancy is some quality stuff and I need more of it.
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CW: Nationverse. Ballroom Dancing. Teasing. Kissing. Mutual Pining. Romance.
From across the ballroom, Ivan saw him. Gilbert Beilschmidt—Frederick's most trusted soldier who led his own platoon in battle, a fearsome Black Eagle who everyone adored—dressed in a decorated version of his uniform — A black double-breasted coat that reached down to his thighs that was accented with a gold belt and dark pants tucked into black knee-high boots. The cuffs at his wrists were red, a white cravat lay nestled between the red lapels and high collar of his jacket, and white gloves fit snug on his hands. Atop his head sat an elegant gold-trimmed black hat with a single white plume off to one side and finished off his self-made uniform.
He looked regal, important, and powerful — attributes that the personification of the Kingdom of Prussia should evoke.
It was after the opening speech and niceties, Gilbert was seen leaning against the wall far to the side, arms crossed, and gave off an air of not wanting to be there at all. Ivan assumed that Gilbert didn't like environments like this — loud, full of people he had to play nice with, not to mention he was in Russia now. Both of them were soldiers who followed orders but tonight was different. Both of their leaders requested them to be present at the ball to celebrate the marriage between Catherine and Peter III, regardless of if they wanted to or not. It was a beautiful ballroom, the guests were enjoying good food, drink, and the company of noble gentlemen and ladies from all over, some engaging in swirling dances as music played, and the newlywed couple sat far on the other side of the room. Gilbert, however, was left alone, detached from the rest of the event, internally questioning why Frederick sent him alone.
Ivan remembered when he first arrived. Gilbert strolled in with a captivating presence that demanded attention from everyone, and he got it; Gilbert always was good at being the center of attention even when he didn't want to be.
Now was one of those times he just wanted to be left alone.
Ivan watched from a distance for the first hour, just admiring Gilbert from afar as he made nice with lords and ladies who approached him and congratulated him for Peter's wedding. Ivan desperately wanted to leave the chattering women and go speak with Gilbert instead. He'd been harboring a slight crush on the man for a while, but with the princess being Prussian and Peter also being fond of Frederick, Ivan, like many others, admired them as well. Gilbert especially was the target of his affection, although he didn't seem to reciprocate the feeling and found Ivan somewhat strange.
Well into the second hour Ivan finally swallowed his nervousness, excused himself from the drinks table, and made his way over to Gilbert. He circled along the outside of the crowd, followed along the wall, weaved through some people and slowed his gait a few meters from Gilbert, then walked up beside him.
Gilbert shifted his eyes over, saw him and seemed to do a double-take as if he didn't recognize him. Ivan wore his olive-green coat with gold accents, a brown vest under it, with his signature white scarf around his neck that trailed down behind his back, and grey pants tucked into brown boots. He truly looked handsome, and despite hating the tighter clothes, he wore it like a natural aristocrat.
Ivan felt a little warmth in his cheeks just from being so close to Gilbert again and how the man seemed to be studying him. Once the realization settled in, Gilbert took a breath and prepared himself. Ivan smiled crookedly and fiddled with his hands.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Ivan asked and stepped a bit closer. Gilbert looked to the crowd.
"What?"
"The ball," Ivan clarified. Gilbert frowned.
"It's too stuffy."
"It suits you," Ivan said and then regretted it when Gilbert shot him an irritated glare. "N-Not that you're stuffy, but just... The glamor suits you. Everyone was impressed when you walked in."
"Well... I am pretty awesome." Gilbert gave a small proud smile and tilted his nose to the air; he didn't care where the praise came from, he enjoyed it too much. "I prefer the battlefield over this though."
Ivan smiled and stepped a bit closer.
"Oh, I know." Ivan agreed and kept smiling. Gilbert looked at him, momentarily taken aback by the happy expression on Ivan's face and how it made his stomach twist with something pleasant. After a moment he looked back to the crowd.
"What?" Gilbert practically growled, knowing that Ivan was still watching him while being oddly quiet. The proximity to him mixed with it made him nervous.
"They look happy, don't they?" Ivan asked, eyes directed across the room to the newlyweds, who clearly were not happy. Gilbert leaned back against the wall then chuckled.
"She could have done better, that boy's incompetent," Gilbert said with a cocky grin.
Ivan, horrified, turned his entire body to Gilbert, holding his hands in front of him.
"Don't say that so loud!" he spoke with an urgent whisper.
Gilbert rolled his eyes.
"Come on, you're thinking it too," Gilbert said.
Ivan pouted and worriedly looked around before lowering his head a bit defeatedly, becoming docile.
"She's beautiful and strong," Ivan spoke softly. "First a Prussian princess and Peter's interest in you, now they're married. We're are becoming closer again..."
Gilbert shifted his arms a bit, tensing his muscles in a moment of discomfort. Ivan always spoke cryptically and it pissed him off, it'd be easier if the stubborn idiot just said what was on his mind. Although it could be said of him as well — Gilbert was just as stubborn, possibly more even.
The music in the room picked up and more people began to sway onto the floor and dance. Ivan smiled as he watched the dresses twirl around beautiful ladies and the tailcoats of handsome men whip around to the tune. He looked over at Gilbert and noticed that the man had a tiny smile on his lips as he gazed out at the crowd. It'd been a while since he saw that smile. Despite how much Gilbert claimed to dislike the event, he found moments in it that he enjoyed.
Ivan stepped in front of him, black-gloved hand against his chest between the opening in his olive green coat, and smiled with a soft dusting of pink on his cheeks.
"What? What are you smiling at?" Gilbert asked and defensively stepped back, bumping against the wall.
"It's a beautiful night with beautiful people, celebrating love and union," Ivan said and extended his hand. "Gilbert, would you honor me with a dance?"
For a moment Gilbert looked appalled, but within seconds it faded to a natural frown. Ivan continued to smile as he waited patiently for an answer. Part of him wanted to dance; he was fairly good at it, but what would people think of the two of them dancing? They were well known and hard to miss, and the embarrassment was far more concerning than anything else. Or the ridicule. What would people think of him dancing with another man? Despite the growing knot in his stomach, Gilbert eventually reached his hand out, Ivan gently gripped Gilbert's hand in his and then led him out onto the floor, side-by-side.
The first time Ivan touched Gilbert's waist it earned him a soft tut and a light slap on the wrist, but Ivan simply frowned with a confused expression. Gilbert rolled his eyes hard, let Ivan hold onto him, and then took his other hand. Their feet nearly tangled but Gilbert placed his hand on Ivan's shoulder and glared a bit once he realized what was happening.
"Why are you leading?"
"Because I took the initiative," Ivan answered with a pleased smile then pulled Gilbert close so their hips were pressed together. He saw the blush appear on Gilbert's face and enjoyed it greatly. "If you want to lead, take it from me."
That was a challenge that Gilbert wanted to accept but before he could retort, Ivan took him into a spin and began the dance. Surprisingly, Ivan was very good and quick and Gilbert had trouble keeping up, stumbling a bit at first until he adjusted. A moment passed and Gilbert found his footing and matched Ivan's pace, then grinned as he suddenly wrapped his arm around Ivan's waist to tug him close so their bodies pressed together more.
"Don't get cocky. You're big and lumbering, your movements are clunky," he critiqued with that signature grin that was usually reserved for the heat of battle.
"Please, teach me then," Ivan said. It came out in a mocking tone but deep down he wanted nothing more than to be taught by Gilbert. He'd dreamt about holding Gilbert in such a way for so long, wondering what his skin felt like. Even if they were both wearing gloves, there was a heat from Gilbert's body that made Ivan comfortable. It felt safe and warm.
Unbeknown to them, many people cleared out of their way, as they had begun to almost dance aggressively when Gilbert challenged Ivan for who would lead. Many watched with confusion but others watched in awe as the two men twirled and stepped in time with the rhythm around them. Gilbert was a good dancer, but he lacked emotion. He was punctual, could recreate the dance as he saw it on paper but was stiff and rigid. There was no feeling, but despite that, Ivan found it lovely.
Ivan's coat flowed out around him, scarf twirling with the momentum, and the feather on Gilbert's hat bounced with his movement. It made them look enchanted to the audience they accumulated, and even gained the attention of the newlyweds at one point. The music slowed and suddenly they stopped. Both panted slightly, but then Ivan placed both hands on Gilbert's waist and looked into his eyes with a smile.
"Take it slow now, Gilbert," he said. "You have trouble feeling it."
Gilbert felt his cheeks burn a little as Ivan pressed his body close to him. It felt more intimate with the way Ivan's hands held him and how his body gently moved him to the slower music. Gilbert was unsure where to put his hands at first so he held onto Ivan's upper arms, but couldn't stop thinking about how their bodies were touching.
It was stupid, and he told himself that it was stupid as he began to panic in his own thoughts. He had a suspicion that this Russian brute liked him just by the way he acted. Of course he did — it wasn't hard to tell, even for someone as dense as Gilbert could be, he just didn't want to believe it. Ivan was a strange guy, but he didn't hate him. He was weird and made him feel strange; made him do things he normally wouldn't do.
Ivan saw how awkward he made Gilbert so he squeezed his waist slightly and smiled, then pulled him closer, prompting the man to rest his head against his shoulder. Gilbert bit his lip as he was met with Ivan's scent and warmth, which was welcoming and smelled nice. He didn't hate it and did not attempt to push away, but when Ivan felt his fingers grip into his coat, he knew he had chipped away at Gilbert's barrier.
"Even while dancing you move like a soldier. Relax. Just let yourself feel the music." Ivan closed his eyes and continued to gently rock his body.
It took a few seconds for Gilbert to just awkwardly follow his footsteps, occasionally stepping on Ivan's feet as he did, but matched him soon enough. He closed his eyes and sighed. He hated giving in but he felt Ivan's arms around him and knew he wouldn't let go unless he kicked and screamed, and he didn't want to cause a scene in an environment he was already uncomfortable in.
After a moment he regained some of his confidence, wrapped his arms around Ivan's neck and pulled back to look at him. Ivan saw a fire in his eyes but also a look of acceptance that he'd never seen Gilbert look at him with. There was no fear or irritation, no sense of burden or like Ivan's mere presence was unwanted. Gilbert was looking at him as a person for the first time, and that made Ivan blush and turn his cheek.
That left Gilbert a wide opening to tease as a large cocky grin stretched across his lips.
"What's wrong? You're turning all red and getting flustered. Dancing getting you excited?" Gilbert teased and pulled himself closer. "Want something?" Now Gilbert was just being cruel; he knew Ivan liked him and knew he could flaunt himself.
"You're mean, Gilbert," Ivan spoke quietly. "Let's stop." Suddenly he stepped a foot back. His face was etched with hurt despite the blush still tinting his cheeks that made Gilbert feel an annoying sense of guilt. Without another word, Ivan turned and left, then disappeared into the crowd.
Gilbert felt a chill as Ivan's warmth left him and he didn't know what emotion he felt. He was irritated at Ivan but also felt bad for causing that pathetic expression to be on his face. It wasn't his problem anyway, Ivan was a creep who had been chasing him for years and annoyed him, so why should he care? Or at least that's what he tried to tell himself. Deep down he knew when he was teasing earlier, that there was a chance it could have sparked something, and he couldn't deny being curious. It was just nice to touch someone for once.
Despite the noise around him, everything was silent and narrow as his thoughts blocked everything out. Eventually, the moment passed, he shook his head, pushed through the crowd, and then paced out of the ballroom. He found a quiet hallway where he leaned against the wall, pressed the back of his head against the stone, then sighed.
He thought about the ball and all the people, but then an image of Ivan's hurt expression flashed in his mind. He opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling.
'Why do I feel like shit...' he wondered and grit his teeth. He knew why. 'Dammit...'
With that, he pushed off the wall and paced through the corridor. Deep inside he knew he was searching for Ivan but he didn't want to admit it. It was such a pain to look after Ivan or interact with him at events, but somehow he still always found himself chasing him.
After several minutes, he walked passed an open door leading to a balcony. There was something in his gut that told him to stop so he slowed his pace and looked through the opening, then immediately recognized Ivan standing at the balcony edge. He was leaning onto the rail and just from behind he looked upset, or maybe it was just Gilbert overthinking the situation. It took a solid minute for Gilbert to work up the courage to step out; even though he'd been in much more stressful situations before. This made his legs heavy, like whatever he was going to do would look like weakness.
Ivan heard someone approach but didn't turn. He felt a presence next to him, then glanced over and saw the familiar albino man. He had a brief lapse where his eyes fluttered and his expression brightened for but a moment before quickly shifting into a somber frown and turned away.
Gilbert didn't say anything at first but then looked over. Upon doing so, he saw sitting on the rail in Ivan's hand was a mostly empty glass of clear liquid.
"Vodka?" Gilbert questioned and saw Ivan stiffen. "You downed a full glass, didn't you? Jeez, what are you gonna do if—"
"It's not vodka, Gilbert," Ivan finally spoke out of pure irritation and a feeling of being patronized, then his voice became softer and docile. "Just water."
"Surprising," Gilbert mocked him again.
Ivan huffed out a soft laugh. Gilbert wasn't wrong; it would have been typical to see him drinking.
"I wanted vodka, but I didn't want to ruin the night."
Gilbert leaned backward against the railing, then gave a side-glance to him
"I didn't do that already?" he asked. Ivan froze, then turned his head to him.
"Surprisingly, no," Ivan jabbed back and Gilbert winced playfully; he knew he deserved that one. He turned around to face the railing, leaned against it, and looked out over the city.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" Ivan asked with a curious intonation in his voice. Gilbert growled softly under his breath and rubbed his neck. It was hard enough just getting the apology out
"For...y'know, teasing you earlier," Gilbert told him. Ivan tried to make himself smaller at that moment. "I didn't think you'd react so badly to it."
"Gilbert please, I don't want to talk about it," Ivan mumbled and moved his body just an inch away. He wondered why Gilbert was even here.
"I was surprised, y'know," Gilbert started, seemingly ignoring Ivan's request. His tone was still brash but Ivan saw a tiny blush on Gilbert's cheeks. He also wore that tiny pout of his that meant he was reluctant to say what he was saying; Ivan often wondered why he said anything at all then. "I was kind of...surprised when I saw you. Still not used to you looking like this."
"He made me shave for this event," Ivan told him, referring to Peter, as if it was a traumatizing experience for him and rubbed at his naked face. "Why do they keep making me shave?" he whined, speaking to no-one rather than Gilbert. Gilbert snickered.
"Maybe so we can actually see your dumb face," Gilbert teased and pinched Ivan's cheek, causing him to wince. "You're not bad to look at when you clean up like this."
Ivan's eyes widened just a bit and he felt his heart pound as his cheeks warmed up. He'd been complimented before, and even earlier in the century Gilbert told him something similar, but it felt different.
"Gilbert?" Ivan inquired further with curiosity.
"I just thought it'd be fun to tease you, I knew I'd be able to get a reaction out of you if I flirted a little."
As Gilbert chuckled to himself, Ivan lowered his head into his shoulders in humiliation.
"So you're just being mean then." Ivan narrowed his eyes on the city below them and had a sad waver to his tone. "Does it feel good to make fun of me for liking you?"
Gilbert's jaw went stiff but then his body moved on its own. He grabbed Ivan by the collar of his olive-colored coat and tugged him close. For a moment their lips were just centimeters apart, Ivan watched Gilbert's eyes in shock while Gilbert stared at the other's mouth for a few seconds before he got nervous and opted to kiss his cheek.
"What are you doing?" Ivan asked in a shaky, startled breath. His mind and heart were racing, he couldn't believe that Gilbert had just kissed him.
"I don't know," Gilbert spoke with an uncertain tone.
The next few seconds were filled with an intense silence where Ivan thought about all the options, all the possible reasons Gilbert had to be saying and doing these things to him, but he couldn't deny that the look in those blue-pink eyes was too similar to the desire that he felt deep inside.
Ivan suddenly grabbed onto Gilbert's shoulders and pushed him backward, Gilbert's hat was knocked to the ground and ignored completely, and while Gilbert questioned him, he received no answer but silence. Their feet scrambled, stumbled in a rush to not trip over each other. He pushed until they were hidden beneath the shadow of the manor, tucked into a little alcove out of sight of anyone passing by, perfectly alone in the dim evening light.
Pinned against the wall, wrists forced against the stone of the building beside his head, Gilbert watched as Ivan's face shifted from a flustered boy to a man who looked intent on ravishing him. Part of him was scared of that glint in Ivan's eyes, of what he may have just gotten himself into. He grimaced and tensed for what was coming.
When Ivan's lips pressed against his own, Gilbert was surprised by the softness compared to Ivan's expression and rough actions, and even his fingers felt gentle while tight around his wrists. As if Ivan could sense his trepidation, he stopped for a moment before taking him into a series of soft, slow kisses, leaving plenty of room to breathe or resist.
Ivan could tell from how sloppy Gilbert's attempt to kiss back was that the man had little to no experience with kissing, which Ivan took some pleasure in that thought, along with the simple fact that Gilbert was kissing him. Ivan wasn't the most skilled, but Gilbert never would have known. Pausing, Ivan pulled back to look at Gilbert's flustered face.
It was a beautiful sight, and he couldn't help but wonder how many people—if any—had seen Gilbert like that. He hoped none had, he never wanted anyone else to see this side of Gilbert Beilschmidt and burned that expression into his memory. He was surprised by how easily flustered Gilbert was, although he couldn't really say anything — if he could see his own face, Ivan would see how red he was as well.
Ivan pushed his body against Gilbert's as he pinned him to the wall. Gilbert grunted as Ivan captured his lips in a sweet kiss as one knee slipped between his thighs, Ivan shifted against him and they both grunted softly. Gilbert pushed forward a bit and for a split second Ivan thought he was rejecting him, but Gilbert's mouth opened and his tongue darted into his mouth. It hit his teeth, Ivan flinched awkwardly, but Gilbert continued. Ivan tried to manage the sloppy kiss but it felt like he was being devoured. He pulled back and pushed on Gilbert's wrists again.
"You're not trying to eat me," Ivan told him, cheeks deep red, and then swallowed. Although it wasn't the best, Ivan appreciated Gilbert's enthusiasm and knew that he just needed direction.
"Shut up," Gilbert retorted and tugged a bit on his wrists. He looked embarrassed and irritated at his comment but Ivan was okay with that; it was typical. He closed the distance again and gazed into Gilbert's eyes before looking to his lips, then as if Ivan had him under a spell, as he tilted his head, Gilbert moved his in sync.
"Slower, like the dance. Let yourself feel it." Ivan demonstrated and kissed him again. At first softly, but escalated it within seconds and coaxed Gilbert's mouth open. He complied so easily and it made Ivan blush more and push himself closer, his leg now dangerously close to Gilbert's privates, which the other was very aware of. Finally, one of Ivan's hands moved from Gilbert's wrists, held his jaw, and tilted his chin up. As Ivan pushed his tongue inside, Gilbert used his newly freed hand to grab the front of Ivan's coat and yanked him closer, which only encouraged Ivan even more.
Their tongues pushed together in the space made by their connected mouths. Gilbert squeezed his eyes shut tighter at the slick sensation, how he could feel everything — it was overwhelming. Ivan moaned softly and began to lick and swirl his around Gilbert's, tasting the slight bit of alcohol mixed with his saliva. The heat from Ivan's body smothered him, his scent was the only thing he could smell, how soft and wet his tongue was as it explored him, and he could feel himself start to sweat under his layers.
Finally, Gilbert learned and offered soft movements against Ivan as well, mimicking him as best he could. As soon as Ivan felt the pressure from Gilbert's tongue, he felt his body light up and throb and his lower abdomen twisted slightly. Gilbert pushed his mouth tighter to the other's, Ivan's knee prodded at him further and made him jolt and whine.
However, Ivan's fingers started to itch with the need to touch Gilbert more, especially after hearing that little noise from him. Before he got too carried away he pulled back and leaned his head against Gilbert's shoulder.
"Thank you," Ivan said and let Gilbert's other hand go. Gilbert stared up at the darkening evening sky, seeing a few stars begin to show their light. He could still feel Ivan on his lips and it left his entire body with a pleasant tingle.
"Don't thank me you idiot, it's weird." Gilbert covered his mouth now that the shock wore off and the embarrassment was settling in. Along with the realization of how aroused he was by the kiss, he felt awkward to be standing there like that.
Ivan smiled sweetly against him.
"I thought you'd push me away."
Gilbert rolled his eyes, although blushed a bit from Ivan's soft tone.
"Stop leaning on me so much," Gilbert grumbled but didn't push him away. Ivan coyly moved back and saw how red Gilbert was, embarrassed and with his cheek turned away from him. It was cute to see him like that.
"You're blushing a lot," Ivan commented and Gilbert felt his cheeks flare with heat again. He snapped to him as he growled, then saw Ivan's face clearly.
"Yeah well so are you!" He physically pointed and Ivan recoiled back a bit.
"Well, it was very enjoyable," Ivan admitted shyly but still with a blunt level of honesty. He scratched his cheek a little, hoping Gilbert felt the same way about the kiss.
"You're so weird," he stated and rubbed at his temples. He was spinning from what happened and now that the heat and excitement had worn off and he was calming down, he realized what he did. Instead of being disgusted, he felt his heart pound as he thought about the kiss, and though he wouldn't admit it aloud, he agreed with Ivan.
"Where's my hat, you bastard?" Gilbert asked in an attempt to abruptly change subjects.
Ivan blinked a few times, stunned by his question. It didn't take long to recognize Gilbert's body language and how he was awkwardly fussing with his cravat and straightening his clothes. Gilbert was still feeling it, and that made him smile.
Turning away, Ivan scanned the ground behind them. He saw Gilbert's black hat, then stepped to it and picked it up. Ivan took a moment to brush the fabric and pet the plume and then placed it on Gilbert's head. He turned it, adjusted it slightly to straighten it, then stepped back to admire.
"There, as regal as ever," he complimented with a gentle smile.
"Thanks," Gilbert replied. The smile on Ivan's face made him feel warm.
"Shall we head back in?" Ivan suggested. "I'm sure they're missing us." Gilbert scoffed loudly.
"Right, as if we're actually important at these events."
Ivan held out his arm for Gilbert and the man recognized the gesture, although looked at him curiously. He hesitated but figured he might as well keep in tune just for the night, then looped his arm with Ivan's. As they walked together back into the corridor, Gilbert grinned.
"I'm gonna need alcohol," he said, although it was more of a joke than anything else.
"Already trying to forget, hm?" Ivan teased with a chuckle.
Gilbert laughed in response to his comment, then smiled softly, still grinning ever-so-slightly.
"Yeah," he scoffed playfully, "like I could ever forget an event this boring."
Thanks for reading!
Remember to leave a comment if you enjoyed! Thank you! 💕
I didn't know how to end this one and honestly this fic kinda felt all over the place. I'm not super happy with it. Feels like I started strong but fizzled out.
Author's notes/thoughts:
•For their clothing, I based it off of their uniforms from the official webcomic in chapters 299 and 302. They both look so handsome, plus Gilbert made his uniform himself!
•Isn't it ironic how Ivan has been chasing Gilbert for years, and Gilbert always finds himself chasing Ivan or seeking him out? Hmmmm...
•Poor Ivan, all the Peters keep making him shave. Although since Gilbert fancies him clean-shaven, perhaps he won't have such a problem shaving now.
•Sometimes you just make out with your nation friend at a party and it's not a big deal.