A\n: Hermione POV! Sorry for the delay between updates, I've been plagued with having a life... this sort of scratches the surface of the direction I'm taking the dark side.

Disclaimer: I don't anything.

Hermione received her vial of potion from Kurt with a stern look, "When the Fred and George give the signal, you'll have ten minutes to switch out with the people you're doubling for and put your doubles in place."

"How is this working again?" Neville asked as he eyed his vial of Golden liquid.

"You are going to drink your polyjuice and turn into Harry so as not to arouse suspicion," Hermione explained with frank assertion, "Finn on the other hand will be turning into me."

"Why don't I have a double?" Ron demanded.

"No one was willing to be that ugly," Finn punched the air and held his hand out for a high five that nobody accepted.

Hermione looked about Mertyl's bathroom vigilantly, "We also ran out of people who we trusted enough to break the rules with."

"We have to go to dinner," Kurt was so intense that Hermione could barely believe him to be the friend she gossiped with in class, he wasn't doing the falsified intensity she was used to seeing him do, "Harry and Hermione have to behave normally the whole night, Ron, Finn and Neville to make sure they are seen leaving dinner early."

"We know," Ron whined, "Fred and George will tell us five minutes before they diffuse the fireworks and kill the lights, we leave and get changed. When you scream we come back, help get rid of Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy, and take our positions."

"Wait a minute," Harry raised his hand, "Why does my potion look like bogies?"

Hermione rolled her eyes, "They already have the essence added and as such have assumed a form to match the people we've chosen to shadow; evidently Goyle is quite bogie like."

"I hope that isn't an indication of taste because this shit looks like mud," Ron held up his vial defensively.

"Mine's either apple juice or pee," Neville furrowed his brow and grimaced.

Hermione checked her watch, "Let's go or we'll be late."

"We're almost never on time for anything," Harry pointed

"Would you rather loiter in the girls' bathroom just a little longer?" Kurt crossed his arms maternally, "Off to dinner with you. Be sure to mind your mannerisms, especially when in disguise."

"Nothing would be more suspect than Pansy Parkinson behaving like a lady," Neville chortled with the Kurt, Hermione made an mental note to congratulate Kurt on the success of his endeavour; turning Neville into an occlumens was truly an unparalleled victory in the clumsy boy's life, he was doing much better scholastically from what she'd managed to see.

"Or me talking too much," Harry pointed out.

Hermione filed out of the bathroom in time with the rest of their make shift clique but soon collided with Finn who'd come to a dead stop in her path, "Watch it Finnocence!" she noted that she'd picked up one too many of Kurt's mannerisms, "What's the beef?"

"I'm the beef," Percy Weasley stood before them with his arms crossed arrogantly over his chest and a self-satisfied smile on his smarmy face, "Quite the predicament you find yourselves in; loitering in a bathroom is a serious offense, a girl's bathroom none the less. What business do five second year boys have in a girls' bathroom?"

"Watch it Weasley," Ron spoke in a deep menacing voice.

"What's wrong with him?" Percy raised a questioning brow.

"We just had to deal with a serious emergency," Hermione stepped in front of the group of boys and leaned in close to Percy so she could speak in a hushed tone, barely above a whisper, "I had a female emergency and my skirt was stained so Kurt took me to the bathroom whilst Finn went to get Ron and Harry with a new skirt-"

Percy had turned a queasy shade of green as he held up his hand, "say no more, I understand." He looked to regain his composure, "in future ask one of your female classmates for assistance."

"We don't like most of them," Kurt pointed out.

"I like Padma," Finn interjected defensively.

"I like her too," Kurt nodded along in approval, "other than being very smart, she's really pretty."

Finn's nose turned a violent shade of chrimson, "I don't know about that." He scratched behind his ears as he searched for a follow up to his current embarrassment, "Uhh…"

"Quite alright," Percy interjected to the embarrassed, tall boy's benefit, "Off to sinner- I mean dinner."

The group exchanged a quizzical look before scurrying off to the dinner hall; it was Harry who was first to speak, clapping her on the back as he did so "What did you say to Percy that made him look so sick?"

"I'm sure you'd react exactly the same way if I told you," she was preening in the small victory but knew that the true difficulty was still ahead, "but I'm sure Kurt would be willing to scar you."

"She told him she was surfing the crimson wave," Kurt sounded on the verge of laughter as he spoke but chose to simply giggle as the other boys deduced what he was saying.

Ron grimaced, "That's disgusting!"

"That's nature," Kurt pursed his lips.

"That's nature," Finn imitated him as they took their seats in the dining hall, Finn with the Hufflepuff boys and Kurt with the Gryffindors as he frequently did; they didn't want to arouse more suspicion by having him sitting with the Slytherins, something he almost never did.

Oliver Wood, the Gryffindor quidditch captain, waved Harry over to where a large group of sports playing types had congregated; for a moment the boy looked unsure but Hermione had nodded and off he went. Ron was left standing awkwardly, unsure what to do with himself as Kurt and Neville took their seats.

"Ron," Hermione smiled broadly as she grabbed the lost looking boy's hand, "Sit with us."

Hermione looked at Kurt then at Lavender with a slight wiggle of a brow, if that girl wanted to play games then she had best pick her adversaries more wisely in future; Kurt appeared to get her message as he grabbed Ron by the shoulders and directed him to the seat between them, directly opposite Lavender and Pavarti.

"Lav, Pav," Kurt gasped over a broad smile, "That's so cute! Lav and Pav, don't you think so Hermione?"

"Too cute," Hermione wasn't sure why they were being nice but always knew Kurt was better at being terrible, "Did you plan that?"

"They totally planned that," Kurt wriggled his brow, "You planned that."

"We didn't plan that," Lavender had turned bright red.

"I wasn't asking," Kurt had dropped his smile.

"You can't make us believe it's just a happy coincidence," Neville added most unexpectedly.

"Nobody even calls us that," Pavarti sneered.

"They should," Hermione pursed her lips as she'd found she had come to do over time, "Don't you think Ron?"

"It rhymes?" Ron shrugged nervously.

Lavender exhaled a breath she'd been holding longer than she knew, "it does, doesn't it."

"Too cute to be allowed," Neville shocked Hermione with how adaptable he seemed to be when he spoke to Kurt and herself; he seemed much more in the present than before, a stark contrast from the boy who always seemed to be playing catch up.

Hermione flicked the tips of her fingers through her bangs and Kurt seemed to know in the moment what she meant and returned to normal conversation, "So Ronald, I saw that you tanked your last History of Magic test."

"How did you see that?" Ron spat some food as he spoke.

"We see everything," Hermione quipped with a smirk, "I just thought you should know that there is no shame in asking your friends for help."

"We're here for you," Kurt placed a hand on the red haired boy's shoulder. Hermione didn't have to look at Lavender to know she was bubbling with jealousy; it was nice to know that they could behave like normal and affect her so.

"I could check my schedule and fit you in for tutoring session before our next test," Hermione pulled out her diary and started looking for free time.

"Wow," Ron's tone was quite unimpressed as he placed his chin in hands, "you're there for me but only if you can find time for me."

Hermione began her defence, "That's not what I me-"

Lavender giggled and Kurt interjected, "That's exactly what she means, her time is precious and as such must be allocated with the greatest care; between studying, recreational reading and socialising."

"Recreational reading?" Ron raised a quizzical brow, "What does that even mean?"

"I feel like we've had this conversation before," Kurt said before delicately placing a minuscular forkful of food ever so precisely in his mouth and wiping the corners though nothing had settled there.

"It's what Harry, Kurt and I will be doing in the library after dinner," she smirked as spoke the words, "I suggest you join us if you care to find out."

"How did you do in the test?" Kurt had turned a tender ear to Neville, "Don't be shy."

"I got a C," Neville looked down at his fingernails when he spoke, "I studied hard but I was so far behind it took me some time to catch up."

"It's up a grade from your last test," Hermione smiled and paid due congratulations, "Medieval history is much more simple to master because the many opinions on the events depicted have been filtered more thoroughly and the facts have been sorted from the noise."

"I hear next year is set to be much more challenging as we begin to tackle modern wizarding history," Kurt's eyes lit up whenever he spoke of history, he on many occasions told her it was his favourite subject which made him one of perhaps the only students to enjoy Professor Binns's class, "We'll get to deal with deciphering fact from opinion."

"Boring!" Ron exclaimed Kurt's ear which earned him a scowl that sent shivers up Hermione's spine.

"Mind your manners," George placed his hands firmly on Ron's shoulders, constricting any rigorous movement.

"Mother wouldn't approve," Fred wagged a finger in his face.

"Percy wouldn't approve," George's eyes grew wide.

"Almost makes it tempting," they chorused looking to each other for approval before shaking their heads to the negative.

"What do you want?" Ron demanded of his brothers.

"Want?" Fred smiled.

"You couldn't get us what we want," George shooed Ron dismissively.

"It's what we need that brings us here," Fred pulled his brother aside and took his seat.

George slid into the seat between Kurt and Neville, "It's what we need from this betty here?"

Kurt lazily raised a brow, "Me?"

"If memory serves you owe us a favour," George smirked.

Kurt rolled his eyes, "memory need not serve, our initial transaction was two days ago."

"Regardless," Fred waved off the technicality.

"We've come to collect," George made his brow dance as he spoke.

Hermione broke off from the moment, "Do tell how you came to be indebted to these two imbecilic."

"Imbecilic?" they chorused, "two?"

"Little Miss Granger," George shook his finger at her.

Fred shook his head, "You must have us mistaken for another."

"If I'd been talking to you then that would have been quite the quip but as it is I was speaking about you," the pair stood flabbergasted for a moment but when they moved to speak she raised a silencing hand, "Kurt, you were saying."

Kurt fiddled with his cutlery in a manner quite out of character, "I might have over extended myself and outsourced some of my duties."

"Offering something in return is such a rooky mistake," Hermione shook her head.

"What can I do for you?"

"You can do one of two things," Fred spoke excitedly.

"We're so kind we're letting you choose," George smiled.

"Consider this your Christmas gift."

"We're seriously not getting you anything else."

"Option one," Fred held up a single finger as he spoke.

"You petrify Cedric Diggory just before the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor match," George smiled and held up two fingers before continuing, "Option two."

"We want world peace," George shot Fred a disapproving look, "On a serious note… I forgot."

"You ruined it," George shook his head in disapproval.

"I ruined it?" Fred shouted defensively as the pair argued away from where Hermione and company had been sitting.

"That was weird, I have studying to do," Neville turned, jumped off the bench enthusiastically and exited the dining hall; one.

"Neville is right," Hermione looked at the duo as they returned to their seats, wondering what had convinced them to have such a silly signal as opposed to a subtle hair flick or purse of the lips but their runaway train of a plan was in action and there was no stopping it now.

"That was so strange," she and Kurt chorused.

"I think it may be drugs," Kurt was alternating between nodding and shaking his head as he giggled lightly.

"Must be drugs if they thought you'd harm a perfectly quaffed hair on Cedric Diggory's head," She was amused by how suddenly the other boy's smile fell as red tinge started creeping above his collar.

"I'm sure they would have gotten the same reaction if they asked the same of you with Professor Lockhart," Hermione felt her eyes go wide as she drew in a deep.

"Oh," she shook her head in disbelief as she searched for a comeback that might be of significance, "At least I'm not being pursued by Gregory Goyle, wake up to him masturbating over you recently?"

Kurt's jaw went slack and she knew she'd struck a nerve, "That was one time!" Kurt lowered his voice to a whisper, "And I told you that in confidence because I'm not sure if it was real, also he was just standing there."

"I can't even deal with you two," Ron gave them each a disapproving glare, "Ron Weasley out, peace."

Two.

"He thinks he's so cool," Kurt said looking at the retreating redhead over his shoulder.

Hermione looked over to the Hufflepuff table and saw that Finn was already gone, three.

There was a howling breeze that blew through the dining hall and the hovering candles went out, there was an endless series of thuds as they fell from their positions of permanent levitation, and Kurt screamed his high pitched wail like he was supposed to so as to promote panic. Hermione pulled out the new tie from her satchel and abandoned her robes and Alice band before opening her vial; bottoms up. The potion tasted vile, like curdled cream; sour and bitter. Hermione felt her transformation begin, it was painless as her nails grew; her hair shrunk, deflated and became silky; her teeth shrunk and her braces disappeared; her legs became spindly; her prepubescent breast shrunk; and her frame became more boyish- Pansy Parkinson was yet to grow into a woman as she'd begun to.

There was commotion and panic as she pulled a roll of bewitched mints from her robes and began forcing them into their targets mouths; their saliva bonded with the coat and reversed the transfiguration, she held her hand over Pansy's mouth so that she had no choice but to swallow the liquid that had pooled in her mouth; she repeated the process twice more as Finn and Neville took each unconscious preteen away. She took her new position and took off her watch and slipped it to her double, the lights came on.

She looked about the room suspiciously as most of the Slytherins were doing, she looked a mess but that was the Pansy Parkinson way; everything looked to be the way they had planned it. But suddenly her attention was drawn by a scream from the Hufflepuff long table, there was a scarecrow dressed in Hufflepuff robes on hanging from the ceiling with a piece of paper taped to the chest with 'you are next' written on it. There was silence but she knew what she had to do and started guffawing, the laugh was not her own but a familiar shrill cruel laugh that most of the Slytherin students soon joined in on. She looked across the dining hall to a horrified looking Kurt, clearly the Weasley twins had taken a few unexpected liberties but they had made the evening interesting but it appeared that their prank had been received as a joke rather than a legitimate threat from the heir.

"Look at Granger and Hummel," Millicent Bulstrode, a burly manish girl with dark hair, was talking to her about her, "acting all innocent and horrified, those bitches aren't fooling anybody."

"Isn't that what they always do," Daphne Greengrass mumbled into her blond hair, "pretend?"

Taylor Avery adjusted her spectacles and swished her pale brown hair, "I hear the mudblood's cozying up to the blood traitor."

"And that the fairy's getting it balls deep from Diggory," Millicent sneered as she spoke the profanity; she and Kurt had always been quite forward and sexually mature but they had never been quite so vulgar in their interaction, Hermione knew that she couldn't afford to come across as anything but normal.

"All true of course," Hermione leaned forward, smiled and knew it to be wicked, "I heard from Pavarti, who can of course be trusted as a pureblood, that the mudblood and the Weasley scum are totally doing it." Hermione reclined arrogantly as she spoke ill of herself, "Of course such filth can't be expected to keep virtue like those of us who are of Noble blood."

"As for Hummel," Tracey rolled her eyes, "besmirching the House of Slytherin."

"How he was placed in this house," Hermione shook her head and turned up her nose as she spoke, "I don't know what that stupid hat was thinking."

Dinner was winding down and the joke was almost long forgotten and she knew she'd be seeing the Slytherin dungeon for the first time but would have to pretend not to admire it's legendary beauty. As she stood to follow the rest of the Slytherins out of the dining hall, she turned to the group of bitter wicked little girls and winked before racing ahead to catch up with her accomplices to enacting their true mission. She scurried down the stairs so as to catch up with the trio of boys before they entered the common room and left her lost on the outside.

"Pansy," Draco smirked salaciously at the girl he believed her to be, "Done giggling about with those stupid girls."

"Now Draco," Hermione purred the name like she'd never believed she could, "don't be nasty."

"Are you the only one who's allowed to be nasty Pansy?" Kurt's comfortingly familiar voice rang across the dungeon.

Hermione flipped the short silky hair in a manner she wouldn't mind becoming familiar with, "You're right, I'm misusing the word; what's really nasty is what we hear Cedric does to you."

"Don't talk that way about Kurt!" Harry screamed, forgetting that they were in character and for a moment her world stood still. Ron punched him on the shoulder and Harry let out a high pitched howl, "Ouch."

"Why am I not surprised?" Draco spoke first, they all had their breath held as the fair haired boy sneered at Goyle almost as though he were seeing through the effects of the potion to Harry's core, "It seems Goyle is always coming to your defence, you must be enjoying the same obscenities as Diggory."

"Or, now this may sound like madness," Kurt's tone was oozing sarcasm as he wildly waved his arms in time with his words, "He might just be a decent human being."

By the time Kurt finished his attention grabbing comment the three of them had regained their composure and were staring daggers at their friend, "Just go to the library with your degenerate friends, the filth of your blood is making me lightheaded."

"That's called stupidity," Kurt quipped with an elegant flip of his chestnut bangs, "the light feeling is a result of your head's emptiness."

"Just go!" Ron screamed, another wave of silence washed over the pentad of second year students.

Kurt raised a perfectly sculpted brow and smiled, "Eat my gold trans am."

"What does that even mean?" Draco furrowed his brow and shook his head in either disappointment or disgust but Kurt was gone before the question was answered.

"He is so weird," Crabbe's voice spoke the words but the tone was all Ron, something Hermione made sure to make note of.

"Expecting any more from someone like him would be expecting too much," Hermione turned her nose up as she spoke but knew the hurt that playing one's role too well might have caused was wearing her thin, she wanted to get this over with and go back to being gossiped about, "And to think people are foolish enough to think he's the heir of Slytherin."

She reclined over the black quilted leather coach as obnoxiously as she could manage in her current state of despair but knew Kurt would rather hear a hundred more jibes than see her slacking on the job. Hermione ran her hands through Pansy Parkinson's hair as she waited for somebody to take the baton but neither Harry nor Ron looked ready to move and the onus fell on her.

"Draco," she flipped the slick black hair, something she noted she seemed to quite enjoy doing, "surely one as well connected as yourself must know something."

Draco preened at her flattery, it made her ill but she knew to keep face, "I'll tell you what I told Crabbe and Goyle, I don't know who opened the chamber of secrets; mother refused to let father tell me but what I do know is that they were caught and sent to Azkaban after a mudblood died." The arrogant boy's smirk made Hermione want to punch him, "It's only a matter of time before someone's killed this time. Me, I hope it's Granger!"

Ron jerked as if to pounce but Hermione pre-empted him, "One of those insufferable know-it-alls at least."

"Do you have any suspicions?" Harry asked with little to no tact.

"Most think it's Potter, Hummel and Granger," Hermione leaned in so close she could smell Draco's rancid breath as he breathed shallowly, "but the heir of Slytherin would have to be a pureblood."

"You're forgetting Weasley," Ron reminded her that he was a factor in the equation as well.

"A Weasley?" Draco chortled at the thought, "they are barely purebloods; they're poor and their family isn't exactly noble. The idea that they may be descendants of Salazar Slytherin is a laughing matter." Harry was holding Ron in place as he began to bubble but Draco was too deep in monologue to notice, "Those red-haired miscreants in their shabby hand-me-down robes are as good as the dirt they surround themselves with."

Hermione got up to leave as she realised that she and Kurt's suspicions were correct; Draco Malfoy knows nothing. She smiled as she waved with her fingers and a tad too much attitude; she exited into the hallway without saying a word about where she was going but knew Harry and Ron would soon be following her. Hermione entered Mertyl's bathroom and headed straight for a stall, the vulgarities she'd witnessed had her insides in knots and her dinner coming up in chunks coated in cream liquid; there was a single thought left in his mind, 'How did Kurt spend the time he was forced to spend with those miscreants without losing his mind?'

Hope you like it!