A/n: I know that my updates are infrequent but I had the worst writers block. I hope I am back now, but I can't promise anything. I hope this is enjoyable enough to tide you over till the next update.
Kurt took brisk, long strides in an effort to make it out of the rain. The large red umbrella shook fiercely under the pelting of the large autumn raindrops. Kurt threw the umbrella into the stand beside the door and hung up his raincoat as he was followed into the Hogshead by Harry, Hermione, Ron and Luna- who were all equally as wet and hurriedly discarding their outer wear.
"Thank you for waiting for us," Hermione groaned.
"Not my fault your short, little legs couldn't keep up, I didn't want to get any wetter than I already was," Kurt dismissed her complaint as he walked up to the bar, the barkeep rolled his eyes at the sight of him and physically slumped, "hi, I have a reservation for thirty."
"Merlin's beard," the man groaned, "you again."
"Yes, me again," Kurt beamed, "I'm flattered you remembered."
"When I got an owl for a reservation of any kind I thought it was a joke but then I remembered the only other person to make a reservation and hoped it was a joke," he rolled his eyes and pointed up a staircase that would not have passed a fire marshal's test, "what's the occasion?"
"We're celebrating a friend's birthday," Kurt smile fell when the man quirked a curious brow, "in absentia. You know young people, any reason to drink."
"Whatever," the man shrugged as he led them up the stairs to a secluded room with one large table, unable to fault Kurt's logic. When the man spoke again, it was in clipped tones, "No dancing on the table like the last time."
"I have no memories of last time," Kurt shook his head, he thanked the barkeep and the elderly man left them to their own devices.
"None of us do," Harry laid a hand on Kurt's shoulder in solidarity.
"What happened last time?" Ron asked with a furrowed brow.
"We drank what was essentially death slathered in honey," Kurt shuddered, "that was my last memory."
"Then I remember waking up the following morning feeling nothing but regret and shame," Harry shook his head and shuddered.
"I remember it perfectly," Luna giggled and gave a pointed look to Hermione and Ron, "you two really missed out." She turned to Kurt and Harry, "You two were a mess and it was all just too hilarious."
"Let's change the subject," Kurt snapped.
"I couldn't agree more," Harry grinned, "what does the ministry know about you and Hermione that you don't want us to find out about?"
"Nice try," Hermione condescendingly patted the top of Harry's head, "but that's not what we're talking about."
"I'd like to hear more about Anais Haddad-Schmidt," Luna suggested.
"Is there more?" Ron raised a curious brow, "I thought you said you couldn't find any record of her."
"There is more," Kurt smiled, "I could share while we're waiting."
"I still want to know what you two are hiding," Harry gave them a pointed look.
Hermione rolled her eyes, "In your dreams."
"No my love, in my dreams," Kurt smirked, "here's what I know about Anais Haddad-Schmidt. She lived before the turn of the last millennium, here in Europe. I know that she did something truly awful, unspeakably evil, and the consequence was the birth of a creature of some sorts." Kurt gave a small shrug, "she's the reason they started building magical schools, to control what people learn and standardise what we know. She and her dark magic were seemingly erased from history, I can't find any trace of her."
"Yet you know so much," Harry quipped.
Kurt smiled broadly, "I've been trying to get a full eight hours of sleep of late."
"The creatures," Luna looked from one of them to the next quizzically, "What do you think they are?"
"Something cool like dragons," Ron smiled to himself, his ears perked up, "is that why you've been talking to my brother?"
"Dragons evolved from drakes thousands of years ago," Hermione rolled her eyes.
"The creatures are supposed to remain," Kurt nodded to himself, "as a reminder."
Harry furrowed his brow, "a reminder of what?"
"That if you step out of line Rowena Ravenclaw will end you," Luna giggled.
"Wait a minute," Ron held up his hands.
"If he's just figured out that this is all based on a dream then I'm out," Kurt whispered to Hermione.
"Surely not," she replied with a giggle.
"People are starting to arrive," Luna pointed out as people started filtering in and taking their seats.
"Let me just ask Kurt one question and we can carry on with our lives," everyone nodded and Ron continued, "why are you talking to my brother?"
"Really Ron?" Harry growled.
Kurt smiled, "I don't find him completely boring."
Ron stopped breathing, Hermione stepped between the pair, "What Kurt means is that your brother keeps us informed as to the goings on in continental Europe."
"You couldn't let me mess with him this one time," Kurt groaned.
"It's almost time to start," Hermione wagged a finger at him, "we'll discuss this later."
Kurt gave a tight lipped smile as he took his seat, "Never works for me."
"Later," Hermione hissed before turning to the room at large with a broad smile on her face, "Hi everyone, thank you for coming." She took a deep breath and adopted a more serious demeanour, "We're here because we need to learn to defend ourselves."
"Defend ourselves from what?" Anthony Goldstein interjected.
"Defend ourselves from-" Hermione's voice trailed off, "you-know-who."
"So he says," Seamus blurted out.
"So Dumbledore says," Ron countered.
"So Dumbledore says because he says," Seamus growled.
"Who has to say it?" Kurt raised an expectant brow.
"What?"
"Who would you like to hear it from for you to believe it?" Kurt continued, "You don't believe it when Harry says it, you don't believe it when Professor Dumbledore says it and you don't believe it when I say it. Who will you believe? Or will you only listen to reason when someone else we know is dead?"
A heavy silence fell over the room, Hermione cleared her throat, "We're young, that makes us vulnerable right now. We need to be ready to defend ourselves, Professor Umbridge isn't preparing us for that because the ministry is afraid that Professor Dumbledore would use us to overthrow them."
It was Angelina Johnson who spoke next, "What do you suggest?"
"Harry and Kurt have experience fighting You-Know-Who," Hermione began to explain, "there's a great deal we can learn from them."
"I'm not sure how true that is," Harry interjected, "Kurt has tons to teach but I mostly got lucky, I almost always had help and-"
"He's being modest," Kurt interrupted, "In first year you faced Quirrell alone and you did what you did without any help from us."
"In second year he slayed the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets with the sword of Gryffindor," Neville added.
"I heard he could perform a patronus, that's a NEWT level spell," Susan Bones spoke in a matter of fact tone, her lisp making Kurt want to set her on fire, "is that true?"
"It is," Hermione spoke before Harry could douse the fire they were building, "I've seen it, it was corporeal."
"Beat off like a hundred dementors at once," Ron verified.
"And he really fought you know who earlier in the year," Kurt's words silenced everyone in the room, "tell them."
"Well, I won't go into too much detail," Harry nervously scratched at the back of his head, "The cup was a portkey, Cedric and me were transported to a graveyard."
"Cedric and I," Kurt corrected unconsciously.
"Cedric was killed by the killing curse," Harry was silent and everyone listened, not sure what they were listening for but they waited from something else to come, "I don't know what else to say, within moments of his return he had his followers back at his side. He tried to kill me and I only just got away."
Kurt took the floor, "I too have fought Voldemort before, he was about the age we are now but despite that his power was greater than you can imagine, knowing the magic we want to share with you is how I survived. I have faced death eaters and the element of surprise was how I survived." Kurt paused for dramatic effect, "Magical skill is very important but when faced with an opponent who is better learned, then knowing a handful of unusual and powerful spells and thinking in an unexpected way is the best weapon to have in your arsenal. That's what we hope to teach you here.
"As you can see, not everyone is here. We don't hold ill will to those that aren't willing to participate or haven't been told about this initiative," Kurt took a page out of Professor Umbridge's book and made eye contact with everyone to emphasize that he was talking to all of them, "but as this is in everyone's best interest I implore you all to discreetly share what you learn in this club with as many people as you can."
"Why?" Fred blurted out.
"They don't want to know," George completed.
"Why should we go out of our way to help them?" they chorused.
"For the same we're teaching you," Kurt's voice had an air that was new but not entirely foreign, maternity, "they're just children. We cannot fault them and leave them to the claws of evil because they don't know better, because they don't know how to listen to reason, because they taught the wrong thing by the people they most depend on."
"As we sit here, we are the future," Hermione explained, her tone echoing Kurt's, "But so are they, the world we create is equally dependent on them. It is therefore our duty to ensure that the role they play is a positive one, we cannot fault them for doing the wrong thing if we do not take effort to lead them down the right path."
There was a thoughtful silence, Ron cleared his throat to speak, "we're still working on finding a time and place to meet but we do have a sign-up sheet that you can write your name, we can keep you posted that way."
"There is a no sneak enchantment on the parchment," Hermione explained, "it's is to ensure that none of us mentions the group and what we do to anyone, to prevent the matter from getting back to Professor Umbridge."
"To quell distrust in the aftermath of the truth getting out, the person who speaks will temporarily and painlessly be branded as a sneak," Kurt smiled, "to protect us all. Further, non-administrative members can only read their own name off the list. Are there any questions?"
Mandy Brocklehurst confidently lifted her hand when everyone else was silent, Kurt called on her, "Kurt, do you honestly think doing this will help us survive?"
"I know that if we don't do this then not only will we be underprepared," Kurt's voice caught for a moment, "we won't have any reason to believe we can make it through, we won't have any hope."
"Well," she nodded to herself, "I can't think of anyone better qualified than you and Hermione to do something like this; you're top of our year and you're always getting yourselves into these positions."
"That means a lot coming from you Mandy," Kurt gave a small smile, "not to be immodest but we're the best chance we have right now."
~0~
"We could just give them the winter goodies," Hermione insisted, "I really think us labouring that we aren't setting them free is condescending and not what this club is about."
"I've said this to you a hundred or so times," Kurt rolled his eyes as they levitated the parcels down the corridor, "it is imperative that we follow this channel in order for our final outcome to be a possibility, and the final outcome is what this club is about." Kurt adjusted an imaginary stray hair as they descended the grand staircase, "giving the house elves a sense of dignity will make them want to fight for their own liberation or, at the very least, make them more receptive to the idea of liberation."
"In the grander scheme of things it works the other way as well," Luna echoed the sentiment, "seeing house elves in clothing humanises them in the eyes of wizardkind."
"My Pureblood supremacist grandmother treats her house elf with dignity because she wears clothes that very closely resemble human clothing," Kurt nodded, "Sirius Black, on the other end of the spectrum, treats Kreacher like something her scraped off the bottom of his shoe."
"Kreacher is vile-" Hermione began but Kurt cut her off with a raised hand.
Denis knitted his brow, "Who is Kreacher?"
"Kreacher is a house elf that serves the Noble and Most Ancient House Black," Kurt said with a smile.
"And like a majority of that house, he harbours views that support pureblood supremacy," Hermione added with a growl.
"Wait," Denis tried to shake the confusion from his mind, "Why are you defending him if he's bad?"
"Kreacher, like Sirius, was born in a family that taught him the wrong thing. Walburga Black taught Kreacher to be the way he is, like she tried to teach Sirius, but Kreacher didn't have the option to rebel," Kurt shook his head.
"That is so deep," Neville mumbled under his breath, "you never think about how people come to be as they are, not really."
"I'm not condoning it, I'm acknowledging it," Kurt explained, "the media and external factors aren't as readily available to change mind sets in the wizarding world, in the muggle world we have TV and radio to moderate what people believe- it doesn't always work but it's there."
"Still," Neville nodded to himself, "it changes my perspective on a number of things, I have to thank my Gran for not teaching me the wrong things."
"You don't thank a fish for swimming," Kurt shook his head.
"That's not the only reason you're defending Kreacher," Luna shook her head.
"You need to stop reading my mind," Kurt giggled, "but this is true, I defend Kreacher because I know that there is goodness inside him."
"How on earth could you know that?" Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Because when he was tasked with 'disposing' of me, he didn't," Kurt gave a weak smile, "I know that as house elf he couldn't kill me but there are a number of ways to set up the demise of a new born without being directly responsible but he chose to find me a home instead; he was under the impression that I was a squib at the time but he still treated me with kindness at the risk of his own peril."
"That's-" Hermione began but was interrupted by Kurt Snatching Denis's parcels and pushing the boy into a dark corridor, "What was that?"
"Professor Umbridge," Kurt pointed to the woman who appeared to be coming from either the kitchens or the Hufflepuff common room, "I have the feeling she won't agree with the premise of this club, we can handle anything she throws at us but Denis is a child."
"Maternal Kurt is kind of scary," Neville grinned.
"Also Kind of sexy," Luna added with a chuckle.
"You four," Professor Umbridge gestured in their direction as she attempted to block their way despite the fact that kurt could push her over with little to no effort, "Why are you spell casting in the corridor? Further, none of you are Hufflepuff students, what brings you to this part of the castle?"
"We're members of SPEW and we're on our way to the Kitchens to deliver these parcels," Hermione answered in clipped tones.
"SPEW? I'm not familiar with this particular club."
"The Society for the Protection of Elvish Welfare," Nevile answered her.
"Elvish Welfare," her eyes were wide as saucers by this point.
"We're an Elf Liberation Front," Luna added.
"Where was that name when we got stuck with SPEW?" Kurt snapped.
"Hey," Hermione countered in a high-pitched shadow of her real voice.
"On whose authority?" Professor Umbridge called their attention back to her.
"I don't understand the question," Hermione shook her head, "School clubs have autonomy."
"But you're breaking a school rule," She smiled, "I'll have to shut down your little… club."
"I have a note from Professor Dumbledore allowing us to spell cast in the corridor and visit the kitchens, one from Professor McGonagall officiating this club," Kurt smiled down at the woman, "and one from each of our Heads of House giving us permission to be out of our common rooms."
Professor Umbridge's face went dark, "Well, I suppose that will have to do for now."
They all watched her walking away, then Hermione turned to him, "if you have all those notes then why did you ave to push Denis over?"
"Because I was bluffing and if she called my bluff she would have been even angrier," Kurt smiled, "I wasn't willing to gamble with Denis's wellbeing that way."
"But our wellbeings would have just been-" Neville tripped over his words, "sad for a moment but you'd get over it."
"Pretty much," He and Hermione chorused.
"Let's deliver this merchandise before she asks around and figures out we lied," Luna gestured to the green men folded into apples.
"They'd all agree to writing said notes," Kurt giggled as he tickled one of the men. A doorway appeared in the canvas and they all stepped through, arguing as to whether Professor Snape would lie to protect them.
When they were in the Kitchens, Hermione called for the house elves to congregate, "Thank you for your time, I know that you're all very busy but with winter around the corner we have brought you all something. There is a parcel for each of you that contains winter socks, gloves, a jumper and a hat. Before you get upset, these clothes are enchanted so that they don't set you free and so you can all wear them without any risk to your livelihood.
"We're only doing this so you can be more comfortable," She assured them, "there is a package for each of you and you are free to elect not to wear them but if you choose to wear them you stand no risk, we have a letter from Professor Dumbledore attesting to as much."
"Hand them out with speed," the managing house elf nodded to them as he held the note in his hands and tried to decipher what t said with his remedial literacy, "We'd like to get back to work."
~0~
"Tracey," Kurt grinned as he sat down beside her on the leather couch, "You will never guess what just came in the mail for me."
"Nor will I ever care," she gave him a tight lipped smile before returning to the copy of Catcher in the Rye he had lent to her.
Kurt giggled, "It's one of the first copies of my compilation of the notes Cedric used to study for his OWLs, he was going to get a handful of Outstandings but because we worked together and used his religiously, he got nine Outstanding OWLs." Kurt grinned, "but I understand your disinterest."
Tracey dropped her book and snatched the bound booklet, she leafed through it at great speed, "There is a lot of work in here, stuff we haven't done that isn't even on the syllabus." Her eyes grew wide and the panic on her face did the same, "I'm not on this level of independent study, this requires a level of extrapolation beyond that of the average student."
"That's why it's not an Average but an Outstanding," Kurt quipped.
"Pansy," Tracey waved her over, "Come have a look at this, you will lose your blob."
Pansy giggled politely, "I'm not on the blob."
"Trust me," Tracey insisted, "Kurt was showing me his study guide and I literally cannot deal."
"You two are awfully chummy all of a sudden," Pansy rolled her eyes as she threw herself into the armchair opposite them, she lazily leafed through the booklet but the more she saw, the greater the urgency in her reading, "Blaise, come see this, you will shit yourself."
"Did you lose your blob?" Tracey giggled with anticipation, "tell me you lost your blob."
"I'm not sure why you would think I need to know about Pansy's cycle but no," Blaise Zabini stood over them with his hands raised in surrender, "I wouldn't have crossed the room to here if I'd known that's what you were discussing."
"I'm not on the blob," Pansy assured him.
He shook his head, "Don't want to know."
"It's not always about what you want," Kurt smirked, "sometimes it's about what you need."
Both Blaise and Pansy blushed, Tracey giggled and handed the young man towering over them the study guide, "take a look at that."
He leafed through it casually, "Is this yours?"
"No," Tracey shook her head, "it's Kurt's."
Blaise sneered, "How do you know what's going to be in the OWLs?"
"My boyfriend and all his friends took their OWLs last year in June," Kurt shrugged, "they all did well using those notes, I have a number of friends who have gone through the system who I have used as a barometer as I was working on compiling that study guide, I interned at the ministry during the summer break and I have the ear of almost every teacher at Hogwarts."
"Touché," Blaise grinned, "I'm going to keep this."
"I brought the first copies are for my friends, this one is for Tracey Davis. Put it down and go back to your side of the room and I'll let you keep something else," Kurt grinned as he let the suspense grow, "Your life."
"What's the point of showing us then," Pansy, near growled.
"There will be more copies arriving in the mail and you may receive one," Kurt smiled, "I'm so gracious that you can even book a practice session with me or one of my associates in my office when you have your own copy."
"Associates?" Blaise quirked a brow.
"Hermione Granger, Padma Petil, Lisa Turpin, Mandy Brocklehurst, and- fingers crossed- Tracey Davis," Kurt smiled.
"Those are some of the finest girls in our year," Blaise grinned salaciously.
"Also the only people with an average that is in itself an Outstanding," Kurt grinned. "If we were working on looks," his smile lingered for a moment on his former nemesis, "our numbers would be greater."
He watched the pair exchange a look as he had intended them to do, Blaise gave a nervous chuckle, "I'm gonna go."
They watched him leave, Pansy turned to Kurt with wide eyes, "you need to teach me that, I've been trying to get him to look at me like that all year. If I hemmed my skirt anymore it was going to be a belt."
"It's one of my talents," Kurt smirked.
"I'm sorry for everything terrible I've ever said about or to you," Pansy had a creepy smile on her face, "I'll even apologise to Granger."
"Apologies are due on both sides," Kurt shook his head, "but all it takes is a slight pursing of the lips, suggestive eye contact, and making yourself seem completely unavailable yet at the same time almost too available."
"That makes no sense," Tracey giggled, "pursing my lips is easy."
"Suggestive eye contact is when you caress the other person's body with your eyes, note I said caress not attack," Kurt squared up with Pansy, "yours eyes should glide over appropriate body parts and occasionally steal an inappropriate glance." He grabbed her hand and his eyes moved up her arms, over her collar bone and to her face- plain, maybe, but not pug-faced.
"I think I'm in love," Pansy melted under his well thought out manipulation of her.
"My party trick is to pretend to be showing interest and grab his arm politely, recoil in surprise and then give their bicep a friendly swat," Kurt demonstrated as he did this, "if I'm feeling a little brave, I'll squeal 'bicep'."
"I can't even deal with this," Tracey giggled.
"You need starter boyfriends," Kurt grinned.
"What the hell is a starter boyfriend?"
"They are like training wheels, you're not crazy about them but you get to practice dating," Kurt explained, "Terry Boot was my starter boyfriend; I'd already kissed Cedric but I got some experience and confidence, he taught me how to make good conversation on a date, the likes."
"I need one," Pansy growled but it was friendlier this time.
"I will see what I can do," Kurt gave them a polite smile.
"If you say Longbottom I will scream," Pansy forced a smile.
"If you give her Longbottom and leave me with Weasley I'll scream," Tracey snapped.
"Calm down," Kurt smiled, "nobody has to date Ron, and Neville is with Mandy Bracklehurst. Ever hear of Thomas Kennedy or Anthony Rickett? They're both seventh year prefects."
"You are a heaven send," Tracey grinned, Pansy nodded her agreement- he was in.
Kurt smirked, "Don't you forget it."
Hope you like it, let me know.