A/n: I'm more sorry than I can express, my laptops keep breaking/dying and I lose my place...

Kurt sipped his coffee and stared blankly at the horizon but was startled before he could let his thoughts wander by Hermione jabbing him in the ribs, "What?"

"Don't do that!"

"Do what?" Kurt squealed defensively, "Study?"

"We both know that wasn't you studying," she glared at him, "That was you staring wistfully into the sunset."

"It's mid day," Kurt countered.

"You know what I mean," she rolled her eyes, "you say something like 'the wind is changing' and then you turn into golden dust and I'm the only one who has ever heard of you tomorrow."

"What does that even mean?"

"People who stare away into the horizon the way you do tend to be gone by the next act of a story," Hermione sighed in defeat, "Ron, tell him."

"I have no idea what you are on about," the red haired boy shook his head, "All I know is that I paid passing attention to my education for the last five years and I'm now going to fail my OWLs, I think I'm going to go get one of those supplements Anthony is using."

"Don't bother," Kurt shook his head, "Goldstein is a snake oil salesman."

"I'm okay with snake oil," Ron shrugged.

Kurt smiled weakly, "that means it's fake."

"When did we learn that?"

"Primary school?" Kurt shrugged.

"Wait a damn minute," Hermione interjected, "Harry, do you have nothing to say?"

"I have plenty to say," the boy shrugged indifferently, "most of it comes from a place of stupidity."

"I've never called you stupid," Kurt raised his hands in surrender, "I've implied it at every given opportunity but never said it outright because I don't truly believe it."

"Those were my words," Harry assured him, "I have a lot of questions and very hurtful things to say because… nobody knows the bigger picture or the grand plan but you." He fiddled with his quill, "you and Dumbledore planned this thing… I don't get it and I kind of want to speak from my place of ignorance but I'm a young man deserving of a blowjob who knows better."

"Lisa will hear of this."

"Yes, how mature," Hermione spat sarcastically, "but am I the only one concerned that we might lose Kurt?"

"Kurt promised he'd be here till the end," Ron gave a small smile, "he wouldn't disappear into the night and leave his work undone, not after he potentially made everything so much worse."

Harry's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, creasing his gash, "How much worse?"

"Well," Ron shrugged, "given everything that has happened we're working under the assumption that there is something linking you and You-Know-Who, what if Kurt contaminated that by taking your place in the final task?"

"I definitely contaminated that," Kurt nodded.

"So what does that mean?"

"I might have made him immortal in the process of saving Harry from his presumed fate," he shrugged dismissively, "nothing I can't fix later."

The Boy Who Lived shook his head in disbelief, "What does that even mean?"

"That he'll be around later to fix it," Ron smirked reassuringly.

"You didn't think to mention this when I was trying to stop you from looking for the deplorable word?"

"You would have totally overreacted," Kurt rolled his eyes, "you always overreact."

"I do not!"

"Oh my gosh, it's got my Kurt?"

"That was me," Ron hung his head.

Harry crossed his arms, "See, I don't overreact."

Kurt grabbed his hand and ran the pad of his thumb over the spot where the scar pronouncing 'I must not tell lies' should have been, a sad smile on his face. Harry tried to pull the hand free but Kurt tightened his grip, "you could have kept quiet."

"That was one time."

"It was also the time I told Professor McGonagall."

"Fine, twice."

"Professor Snape doesn't like you and you assume it is because he is evil."

"Technically he was evil," Harry grinned, "just not at that particular moment."

"What about when Draco read the writing pertaining to the Chamber of Secrets out aloud and that made him the Heir of Slytherin?"

"You can stop now," Harry nodded, he gestured in Hermione's direction, "Why is she looking at you like you're Viktor Krum?"

"She never looked at Krum that way," Kurt smirked triumphantly.

Ron looked up from his studying and matched Kurt's smirk, "She's realizing there isn't a chance she'll lose him till he runs off into the sunset with, as she believes, Terry."

"Terry and I aren't on speaking terms right now," Kurt rolled his eyes, Harry punched the air triumphantly, "Could we not do this, just for today."

"I'll never mention it ever again if it makes you happy," Ron shrugged, "I think we've overstayed our welcome in your intimate business."

"Thank you Ronald," Kurt sighed, closing his notebook and passing it to him, "You need this more than I do, I will kill charms anyway."

"Did Professor Flitwick slip you a copy of the exam?" a bored, disinterested voice spoke from behind him.

"Oh dear," Kurt turned and smiled broadly, "You and I both know that I don't need to cheat on a Charms exam."

"You also don't need to overthrow the government but you've recently added that to your rapsheet," she shrugged, "Who knows what you're capable of in this moral free fall you've chosen to allow."

"It's cute how you ever thought Kurt had morals," Ron giggled, "it's an easy mistake to make, he just has really good manners."

"Nobody is talking to you Weasley," Tracey knitted her brow, "same way I'm not talking to Crabbe, I don't want to be associated with people who are aiming for Eligibles."

"I am quite the up and coming eligible bachelor," Ron smirked.

Tracey giggled and Kurt shook his head, "that's not what it means, it means receiving either an Eligible to Repeat or an Eligible for Concession."

"The latter somehow managing to be worse than the earlier," Tracey shuddered.

"I still don't know what any of that means."

"What's wrong with Granger?" Tracey peered curiously at the brown haired girl, "usually she takes over explaining things."

"She's too giddy because she's found a love that'll stand the test of time," Ron giggled.

"Alexander Bembridge?"

"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel," Ron countered, "She was afraid he was going to leave her to continue his efforts to overthrow the government."

"Kurt is too focused on placing first this year to run off into the sunset to become a revolutionary," Tracey scoffed.

"Kurt?" Hermione raised her head and knitted her brow, "First?"

"Yes babes," Kurt grinned malevolently, "My potions marks will be better than ever, Tracey has been tutoring me in transfiguration and so I will be bringing the fire on that front."

"No," she snapped, "I'm the brightest witch of the age, you can't take that from me."

"Wow girl," Tracey smirked, "You need to bring it back a few levels, that 'brightest witch' thing is only cool when other people say it."

"I'm just saying," Hermione let out a defeated sigh, "we've established a comfortable dynamic over the last five years."

"If you ignore second year," Kurt interjected.

"Thank you Kurt," she rolled her eyes, "everyone was doing perfectly well ignoring that little detail."

"Hummel and I will follow that precedent," Tracey smirked, "we'll ignore your streak of being first in our battle for the top spot."

"Am I not even in the running?"

"Let's just say first in our year will be in Slytherin," she countered.

"I doubt that," Hermione shook her head, "You two are discounting Mandy and Padma. Besides, I'm still here."

"Padma has had her mind scrambled by love."

"And Miranda is too focused on her Muggle Studies OWL to care about anything else," Tracey shrugged.

"She's going to be a…" Kurt stopped short of completing their too often repeated line on Mandy's future plans. He glared at Tracey, "Miranda?"

"Yes," she nodded, "that's what Mandy is short for."

"I know for what Mandy is short," Kurt snapped.

"So, I don't get the question."

"Why is she Miranda and I'm still Hummel?" Kurt whined, "She only assisted in my attempt to overthrow the government!"

"Hummel," she scoffed, "You're being so dramatic."

"Don't say that," Harry groaned, "it'll only make him drag on and explain endlessly why his feelings are justified."

"Ew, it's talking to me."

"Be nice Tracey," Ron scolded, "Harry hasn't done anything to you."

"Voldemort hasn't done anything to me either," she shrugged, "by that logic I should be nice to him as well."

"Tracey has never met Harry," Hermione explained, "He just started talking to her without even introducing himself."

Ron gasped, "that might fly with Lisa but you need to have manners."

"Probably thought you'd know who he was," Hermione shrugged.

"Expecting her to say 'bless my soul, it's Harry Potter'."

Harry made a point of rolling his eyes, "I thought we'd met, they're always talking about you; are you Kurt's friend, aren't you?" He shrugged, "it all gets confusing, really."

"Was that a subtle way of bringing up how popular you are?"

"Yes," Tracey rolled her eyes, "I'm friends with Hummel, why is that so hard for everyone to believe?" she crossed her arms as the group gaped at the pair of them, "Pansy had the same reaction, he was only an accessory to an attempt to overthrow the government! He's the only person I know who would let me watch them dump someone."

"I can't believe it," Hermione shook her head, "I thought Kurt had invented your friendship in his mind."

Ron shook his head, "But we've never known Kurt to exaggerate, we should have trusted his claims."

"Whom is Kurt breaking up with?"

"Everyone," Tracey grinned, "We started with Goyle, I hope one of them cries."

"What do you mean by 'everyone'?"

"Keep up Granger," she snorted derisively, "Hummel is kicking everyone in his little fan club to the curb."

"What?" Hermione climbed over Harry to grab Kurt by the shoulders, "No, not Terry! I have fifteen galleons riding on Kerry."

"That sounds like your problem," Kurt shrugged.

"If you do this, Mandy wins," Harry explained to him, "you don't want that, you hate Mandy."

"I don't hate anyone," Kurt smiled, "I am filled with-"

"Don't start that with us!" Harry snapped, "I have money and pride riding on this." He glared at Ron, "What do you have to say about your Kurt's behavior?"

"I respect Kurt's choices," Ron shrugged, "I'm just curious as to what catalysed this decision?"

"You don't get to use 'catalyse' correctly at a time like this," Hermione snapped, her voice getting smaller, "I'm losing him."

"I'm right here."

"But I'm not watching you break Goyle and Terry's hearts," she shrugged.

"You're not even into that kind of thing," Kurt shook his head.

She shook her head, "You didn't even tell me about it."

"He didn't tell me about it either," Tracey shrugged, "He got a letter that said something about dusty trains, I asked him what it meant and he told me he had to break up with all his fans."

"She invited herself to watch."

"What do trains have to do with your desire of suitors?" Hermione furrowed her brow.

"Now," Harry twiddled his thumbs, "is it all suitors or just Hogwarts suitors getting the boot, so to speak."

"Nobody thinks that was smart," Kurt giggled. The group at large stared at him, he shrugged, "Noah is going back to America, so that's over."

"He's just leaving?" Ron gaped.

"He asked me for a reason to stay," Kurt buffed his nails on his lapel, "I told him he would be exposed to more black magic than ever before during the rise of Voldemort."

"That's not what he wanted to hear from you," Ron rolled his eyes, "You were supposed to tell him how much you cared."

"I know what he wanted me to say," Kurt glared at the ginger haired boy, "I was simply unwilling." Kurt pursed his lips, "I realized that I wouldn't piss on any of these young men to put them out if they were on fire."

"Imagery," Hermione shuddered.

"Just being honest," Kurt flipped his hair with a dismissive shrug, "As the nicest person I know, it is only right that I set them free so they might settle for someone lesser than me." Kurt preened under the glow of his own praise, "My benevolence knows no bound."

"Your benevolence is imaginary," Tracey scoffed.

"My benevolence is absolute."

Hermione shook her head, "If you were truly benevolent, you wouldn't let Mandy win this way."

"Kurt, before you go."

"Yes Ronald?"

He scratched the stubble on his chin, "What's an eligible?"

~0~

Kurt chewed his rock cakes as he listened to Hagrid complain about Professor Dumbledore's absence from Hogwarts, he chose not to comment about the large man's obvious confusion of the man and the institution. He sipped his tea slowly and listened to each of his friends' attempt to comfort their Care for Magical Creatures professor.

"If you get fired," Kurt spoke for the first time, "Will I have to resubmit my Care for Magical Creatures assignment?"

"No," Hagrid answered, taking a break from his whining. The man sniffed loudly, "I've spoken to Professor Grubblyplank and she's promised to keep your grades the same."

"Then we need not worry," Kurt smirked, sipping the last of his tea as his friends gaped at him.

"Kurt," Ron was the first with the courage to speak, "what have we said about other people's feelings."

"They have them," Kurt shrugged, "Why do you bring it up?"

"I'm not sure if you can tell, but Hagrid is upset."

"Do you people ever listen to anything I say?"

Ron rubbed at the back of his neck nervously, "It's a right to remain silent, Right?"

"I'm going to be honest," Harry shrugged, "I'm usually too busy brooding to internalize everything you say, you say a lot of things."

"Hermione?"

She rolled her eyes, "I'm taking a break from exposition."

"I've said this before, Professor Umbridge doesn't have the authority to remove Hagrid from the school grounds. She'll need board approval to do that, and I have the power to veto such a decision." Kurt got to his feet and picked up his Fendi, "If I could be excused, I have a prior arrangement waiting."

"But I've still got something to show you," Hagrid was slack jawed as he spoke.

"I can see it another day," Kurt flashed a curt smile, "I have an appointment with Professor Snape to be getting to."

"With Snape?" Ron gasped.

"What on earth for?" Harry echoed his concern.

"He's Kurt's head of house," Hermione shrugged, "Kurt is one of his house's prefects, it's not odd for the two of them to be meeting."

"Besides," Kurt fixed an imaginary stray hair, "let us never forget that I learned most of the magic I taught the DA from Professor Snape."

"Is that so?" Harry furrowed his brow.

"Yes," Kurt pursed his lips as a challenge, "Professor Quirrell couldn't string a sentence together, Gilderoy Lockhart was incompetent, Professor Snape taught Professor Lupin's class as often as he did, and Professor Moody was distracted by his plot to get to you." Kurt had his hands on his hips at this point, "detention with Professor Snape during my first three years at Hogwarts is the source of all of our knowledge in Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"So you're going to learn Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

"No," Kurt shook his head, "I'm not sure if you've forgotten but we're about to write our OWL and move on to the next stage in our lives."

"So," Ron nodded, "You're going to get help in potions? Can I come?"

"No," Kurt let out a tired breath, "I'm going for career counseling, you'll have to do it at some point too." He flashed a smile, "auf wiedersehen."

Kurt was brisk in his walk, climbing the stairs back to the castle as quickly as he could without losing his composure. He stormed through the halls of the castle, the students hanging around the corridors stared and whispered as he passed; Kurt had given them quite a bit to talk about of late and he knew very well that people were going to talk.

He was descending the stairs toward the dungeon when a sixth year Ravenclaw boy stopped him, "What's up Hummel?"

"Why?" Kurt crossed his arms, "what'd you hear?"

"Nothing you haven't heard."

"Then why are you talking to me?" Kurt rolled his eyes, "why are you acting like we're friends?"

"We could be friends," the young man reached out toward him, Kurt smacked his hand away, "I heard you're rotating your roster."

"If your hands come anywhere near me again, it'll be the last time you have hands."

His friends chuckled behind him, "From what I hear you're quite easy."

"I'm easy, not desperate," Kurt smirked, "I can do better."

Kurt started to walk away but stopped short, "Let people know I've found my next great love, tell them that's why I turned you down."

Kurt left with a spring in his step from knocking someone down a peg and speaking his truth. He retrieved his journal from his room, nervous of them mess he'd catalysed; he knocked on Professor Snape's office door, going over the notes he'd prepared.

"Enter," the man's tone was neutral. Kurt was surprised to see Professor Umbridge standing behind his head of house, "I hope you don't mind, but the Acting Headmistress has asked to observe the meeting."

"I do mind," Kurt rolled his eyes, "but I know I don't have a choice in the matter."

"As Headmistress-"

"Acting Headmistress," Kurt corrected her.

Professor Umbridge's eyes went wide, "I beg your pardon?"

"You're not Headmistress," Kurt explained, "You're acting in the role, but you can stay."

"Let's begin," Professor Snape wove his fingers together, speaking before Professor Umbridge could gather her thoughts, "what is your aspiration in life?"

"My aspiration is to change the world," Kurt smiled, "I'm going to destroy intolerance through work in public service."

"I don't understand," Professor Umbridge tilted his head condescendingly.

Kurt turned toward her with a scowl on his face, "I'm going to be Minister for Magic."

Her face paled, "I beg your pardon?"

"I'm going to have Cornelius Fudge's job in the not too distant future," Kurt rubbed his hands together malevolently, "And things in Britain will change for the better."

"My dear Mr Hummel," the Professor giggled, regaining her composure, "if your ambition is to rise through the ranks of the Ministry and ascend to the highest office in the land, I must question your choices. Primarily, your choice in friends and where you stand on the important issues."

"I'm sorry but I'm going to need you to be more specific," Kurt mirrored her condescending manner, "do you mean my muggleborn and half-blood friends, or do you mean Harry Potter?" Kurt pursed his lips, "Or is this about the fact that I'm not a small minded bigot?"

"Mr Hummel," the toadish woman gasped, "I'm not sure what you're insinuating."

"It would be difficult to chance on an intimation in my speech," Kurt smiled condescendingly, "my inference was obvious."

"Why, I never!"

"You have now," Professor Snape interjected, taking back his meeting. He flashed Kurt a crooked smile, "Mr Hummel, I commend the work you've done in preparation for taking on the arduous climb to Minister for Magic."

"Thank you."

"You may be the top student in Civics but I do not think it will be necessary moving forward beyond your OWLs," the potions master flipped his hair as he spoke, "You've taken on a few leadership positions already and those will grow as you matriculate up the Hogwarts ladder of leadership, to the top."

"The top?" Kurt quirked a curious brow, "Head Boy?"

"If you keep your nose clean."

"Which you've failed to do," Professor Umbridge chuckled, "let us not forget that you were at the centre of an attempt to overthrow the ministry."

"Allegedly," Professor Snape snapped back, "While Dumbledore might have given you something resembling a confession, there is no evidence to support the claim that any students were complacent in the plot."

"If not a Civics NEWT, what should I take?"

"That would be dependent on your intended route of entry," the man tilted his head, leaving the question unasked.

"I've worked in the Auror's office, doing research," Kurt rolled his eyes, "that was stupid, I don't want to be a glorified policeman." Kurt buffed his nails against his cloak, "I'm thinking, I'll go to Uni; I'll study politics or something, and skip through the grunt work."

"Then your NEWTs don't really matter," Professor Snape nodded, "only that you take Muggle Studies."

Professor Umbridge cleared her throat, "it was my express instruction that students not be encouraged to select Muggle Studies, as the Ministry intends on phasing the subject out."

"And as Professor McGonagall informed you," Professor Snape spoke between gritted teeth, his irritation showing, "Subjects offered by Hogwarts are subject to board approval."

Kurt took note of Professor Snape's message for him, the man was letting him know to keep his ear to the ground for any board activity and exercise his veto. Kurt nodded his head and seamlessly steered the conversation back to the matter at hand, "I have given thought to which NEWT subjects I'll be selecting."

"Is that so?" Professor Snape quirked a curious brow.

"Yes," Kurt nodded, "I'll be taking Charms, Transfiguration, Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Dark Arts, History of Magic, Muggle Studies, Magical Theory and Alchemy."

"You are aware that both Potions and Alchemy require an Outstanding pass in your Potions OWL?"

"And have I produced anything short of that during my tenure at Hogwarts?" Kurt pursed his lips.

"Touché," the potions master smirked, "I was correct in assuming that this would be one of the easiest of all my students' guidance meetings to complete."

"Second only to Tracey Davis," Kurt nodded with a chuckle.

~0~

"My little pretties," the blonde haired woman smiled broadly at them, "How lovely to see you again." She leaned forward, "Kurtie, tragic what happened to Cedric."

"I will rip the eyeballs right out of your skull if you bring him up again," Hermione growled.

"Bring it back a few levels Hermione," Kurt flashed a false smile, "thank you for your condolences Rita, it's troubling to think that is the closest to human emotion you will ever get."

"Touching," she flashed an equally false smile, "but I don't understand why you've summoned me. If memory serves, I was instructed never to return to Hogwarts and never to write about any of you."

"We're here to change the terms of your exile," Kurt smiled invitingly, "We'll let you start writing about us again-"

"We'll what?" Harry gasped.

"We'll let her write about us," Kurt turned to The Boy Who Lived, "we're going to tell her the truth of our supposed attempt to overthrow the ministry, she'll work her magic and make the article interesting, and we'll get the truth out there."

"For the most part," Hermione and Rita chorused, Hermione glared at the woman.

"What does that mean?" Harry glared as well, "that 'For the most part' bit?"

"She will keep the events leading up to Professor Dumbledore's transition into a fugitive lifestyle true to their occurrence," Kurt explained, "You will even tell her about the events of the third task."

"I will?"

"You will, and in return Rita will remain honest to the events," Kurt smirked, "but with regard to other details."

"The juicy details," Rita Skeeter purred.

"She will have limited reign to embellish on the matters such as that of my newly dissolved desire of suitors," Kurt smirked, turning to all present, "agreed?"

"I'm obviously scintillated," the journalist grinned, "I'm ever so excited to learn what a desire of suitors is."

Hermione bowed her head in shame, "Are you sure this is the best option we have?"

"Do you remember what it was like the last time she was writing about us?"

"I do," Hermione nodded, "I don't think you do though."

"I remember how willing people were to believe everything she wrote about us," Kurt's smile grew, "I'm simply using that willingness to our advantage."

"Fine," Hermione shook her head.

"Harry?" Kurt crossed his arms expectantly.

The Boy Who Lived crossed his arms as well, "she can't talk smack about Lisa, I won't have that."

"Lisa is boring," Kurt rolled his eyes, "her greatest secret is that she isn't strawberry blonde."

"It's not even a secret," Hermione shook her head, "you can smell the copper on her."

"Ginger?" Rita Skeeter teased, the pair nodded.

"So," Kurt smiled to himself, "we're all in?"

"Yes," Harry and Hermione chorused.

"Let's begin with the third task," Rita Skeeter smirked malevolently.

Harry recounted the events of that evening in the graveyard, he glossed over the summer and the Order of the Phoenix. He recounted his encounter with the dementors and the subsequent trial, Kurt interjected with his research team's findings and slipped in mention of Noah Puckerman. They discussed Professor Umbridge's unorthodox teaching methods and barbaric choice of punishment, her thinly veiled prejudices and ill treatment of the staff.

Kurt explained their motives in starting Dumbledore's Army, their foolish choice in naming the club, and the goings on in the club. They discussed Professor Umbridge's hunt for those participating in the club, her formation of the inquisitorial squad and Kurt's decision to dissolve the club. Kurt explained the way in which Professor Umbridge was blackmailing Cho Chang, and how Professor Dumbledore had taken the fall to protect them.

"Fine," Rita rolled her eyes impatiently, "I'll write it but…"

"Where are the good bits?" Hermione sighed.

"I don't mean to be that person but I was promised a story!"

Hermione took a deep breath, "Kurt was dating five people at once, we called it 'a desire of suitors'."

"Hermione and Viktor are still a thing but because of distance she's kind of got a thing with Alexander Bembridge," Kurt countered.

"Didn't take much for you two to turn on each other," Harry scoffed, "I'm seeing Lisa Turpin."

"Soon I will no longer be the brightest witch of my age," Hermione admitted with a shroud of shame, "Tracey Davis put me on notice."

"My real parents are Bellatrix and Rudolphus LeStrange," Kurt countered.

"I can explain why I know what kind of underwear Viktor Krum wears."

"I will tell you who I'm in love with and why it'll ruin one of my better friendships."

"Kurt!"

"Hermione!"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm protecting you."

"I'm protecting you from your truth."

"I'm protecting you from yourself."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're not ready."

"You don't want this out there," Kurt countered, "I've made peace with my parentage, you don't want everyone in the UK reading about you and Viktor."

"I don't…" she let out a defeated sigh, "I'm over compensating, am I losing you to Tracey Davis?"

"As if anyone else would have me," Kurt guffawed.

"Lisa gave me a handjob in the library," Harry shrugged.

"Harry!" Hermione and Kurt scolded in unison.

"If Lisa wanted that published, she would be here to tell Rita herself."

"You can't just be spreading that willy-nilly."

"This is why you lived under the stairs."

"She's studying in the library," Harry spoke in a calm tone, "and she told me I could say that." He narrowed his gaze, "The stairs thing doesn't work on you Hermione."

"Because I wasn't hurt as a child?"

"Because I didn't tell you that story."

Kurt shook his head, "Not your joke to make."

"I'm still here," Rita Skeeter chimed in.

"Oh," Kurt feigned surprise, "excuse us, do you have any questions?"

"I'd like to hear more about this 'Tracey Davis' person."

Kurt chewed his lip, "We didn't ask her if we could mention her."

"She's a total bitch who is trying to steal my best friend," Hermione glared at Kurt, "she deserves what she gets."

"We shouldn't," Kurt shook his head.

"You really shouldn't," Harry glowered.

"We will," Hermione grinned.

"I'll do it," Kurt explained, "you won't do her justice."

Hermione pursed her lips, "fine."

"So, she's like the best of the both of us," Kurt explained in a whisper.

"She's smart, pretty, dead on the inside," Hermione elaborated.

"But she's cool because she's black."

"That's not racist at all."

Kurt crossed his arms, "is it racist if it's a positive stereotype?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"This is how you lost your title as brightest witch of the age," Kurt uncrossed and re-crossed his arms, "since when do you not know things?"

"Aren't social cues and the like your area of expertise?"

"Touché," Kurt shrugged. He turned back to Rita, "Where were we?"

"I think I have more than enough for now," she nodded to herself, "Maybe we can talk about a follow-up article?"

"We'll contact you," Harry flashed a tightlipped smile, "based on your work on this article."

The blonde woman smiled, and shifted into her beetle form- presumably exiting the room. The room was silent for a good ten minutes, the three teenagers looking at each other, waiting for the other to affirm their ability to speak.

"What was that?" Harry broke the silence.

"The reason Ron wasn't in the room," Kurt smiled.

Hermione mirrored the gesture, "This story is going to be about the strain everything that has happened has had on our relationships this past year."

"Hermione and I have been practicing this distance thing for a while now," Kurt smirked.

"Kurt is wrong," she grinned malevolently, "I've become much needier."

"My acting isn't as good as hers," Kurt shrugged, "we tried it the other way, it didn't work out well."

"And Ron?"

"Would have tried to fix it," Hermione explained.

"Do you think of everything?"

"He also needed to study," Kurt shrugged, "he literally might fail his OWLs, he took too long to get into school."

"Wait," Harry twiddled his thumbs, "Were you guys racist or did you ask Tracey?"

"I'm almost certain stereotyping isn't something you can get permission for," Hermione shook her head.

Kurt smirked, "But we did get Tracey Davis's permission."

"And this isn't a gay thing?"

"I hate you!"

~0~

Kurt answered the questions on his History of Magic OWL with great care and detail, his script looping more due to the speed at which he was writing. He was trying to cast aside everything that was happening in the world around him; Mrs Weasley had been appalled to learn that he had been dating 'six' people, she had sent him a howler and he had sent one right back- asking her to allow him his youth by his own standards.

People at school were curious about the mystery gentleman alluded to in the article and they'd been hounding his friends, Tracey had asked if it had anything to do with the letter he'd received about the trains. Hermione had smugly told her that the man was a fictional ploy they had created to keep Rita in line, that the mystery was there to keep things working as they needed to be- down to the letter. Kurt hadn't felt like contradicting his best friend, letting her believe what kept her going, for the time being.

Ron was concerned about Hermione and Kurt's relationship, he had christened Tracey as the devil but without taking any action against her- too absorbed in his studies and the mad dash to pass his exams. The sentiment was echoed by many of those who thought themselves his friends, they wanted to know what was true and what was Rita Skeeter's imagination. The main problem with lying for too long- or omitting, in Kurt's case- was that people didn't believe when you told them the truth, no matter how genuine you tried to be.

Professor McGonagall had invited him for tea in her office, congratulating him on further embarrassing the government that had besmirched their names; she too had asked who his new beau was. Professor Umbridge had been livid at the publication but could not act to stop them or reprimand them due to the absence of any school or governmental rules prohibiting their actions, nor did she want to confirm that Rita Skeeter had made her ways onto the grounds without her permission. She could not stop them from acting, Kurt had reached out to Rita Skeeter about a follow up interview- wanting to goad her into publishing a column that speculated the contents of the next interview and wanting to Keep their current wave of celebrity alive.

Kurt concluded his essay, looking it over one last time. The penmanship was legible through out, a very important part of answering an exam question; the content was solid, he had studied hard and laid out his thoughts on the Giant Wars well. He was checking his spelling and grammar when he was startled by a bright flash, Kurt took a deep breath. The flash was followed by a load howl for joy, Kurt rolled his eyes- he was not surprised.

Kurt looked up with disappointment his most prominent emotion, there could only be two individuals with sufficiently little regard for formal education to pull off a stunt like this. Kurt met George's gaze first and shot him a glare that could only be indicative of the doom that was impending. The pair had crossed a line with him; as much as their actions were congruent with their image for chaos at Hogwarts, Kurt never expected for either to interrupt an exam- even if Umbridge was invigilating.

All Kurt could do was shake his head.