A/n: I will never truly be gone, so long as there is still story to be written and alcohol to be drunk!

"Kurt," Hermione gaped at him, "Do you hear yourself?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, "I know, I sound like a crazy person-"

"I'm going to stop you right there," she lifted a silencing finger, "there is no but."

"Kurt very much has a butt," Charlie smirked, feeling his boyfriend up, "and it is excellent."

"Not the time or the place but thank you for appreciating the merchandise."

"Kurt sounds like his cheese has slipped right off its cracker," Hermione argued.

"Maybe Harry is a descendent of Ravenclaw and the two prophecies line up," Ron suggested, there was a moment of silence before the group exploded in a wild guffaw. Ron nodded, "I heard it once I'd said it."

Charlie kissed Kurt's forehead, "let's not forget that you naturally have a thing for languages, it might be possible that this isn't meant for you."

"I don't even think this is meant for me," Kurt shook his head, "despite my tries to make it make sense, it isn't the same thing."

"How so?" Charlie quirked a curious brow.

"I'm not all that remains of Rowena," Kurt shook his head, "I have living parents and grandparents."

"A curse like that cannot go unfulfilled," Viktor shook his head, "there must be something of Rowena Ravenclaw left."

"And," Kurt nodded, "If that thing is in Voldemort-"

"There's no hope," Ron mumbled.

"No," Viktor countered, "when all had left Pandora's Pithos, Hope remained."

Kurt smiled, "You called it a pithos."

"What else would I call it?" Viktor stared intently at him as he had in the maze when he'd been bewitched.

"In English it has incorrectly been translated as Pandora's Box," Kurt explained, "but you are quite right none the less, we must never lose hope. This curse will be fulfilled, no matter what it takes."

Hermione nodded, "or else he shall die by his own hand." She smiled at Kurt as she leaned deeper into Viktor, "that's the next line of the curse, right?"

"Correct," Kurt smirked at his best friend, unable to nuzzle into his boyfriend's chest because he was taller, "there should be a law against this."

"What?" Hermione furrowed her brow, "Dark Lording? I'm almost certain there are." She started to count them off on her fingers, "Murder, assault, stalking-"

"He means how much taller Viktor is than you versus my being shorter than him," Charlie explained.

"I want to put my head on your chest too," Kurt whined.

"If we're horizontal-"

"I will call Professor McGonagall to come get us," Ron threatened, "you didn't see the look she gave Neville."

Kurt rolled his eyes, "I forgot that I brought an honorary Slytherin girl."

"I will take that as a compliment," Ron puffed out his chest.

Charlie gaped, "Ron? Taking Slytherin as a compliment?" he shook his head, "Are you a proficient brainwasher? I'm probably not even in love with you."

"Calm down," Ron shook his head defensively, "you just haven't met the Slytherin girls, they are the coolest girls at Hogwarts! Last year Daphne Greengrass gave a blowjob to every senior boy."

Viktor gaped, "she completed her goal."

"Well," Ron held his hands up in surrender, "Cedric's death removed her only obstacle."

Kurt gaped at him, "me?" Ron and Hermione nodded, "I would have let her go for it, she would have saved me an afternoon."

"KURT ELIZABETH HUMMEL-"

"Calm down," Kurt rolled his eyes, "that was a joke!" he chuckled to himself, "can you imagine? Every afternoon?"

"It's not like he's the King," Hermione agreed.

"And what am I? A concubine?" Kurt rolled his eyes, "I have other interests."

"Really," Charlie leaned forward rubbed his stubble against Kurt's face, "And what might those interests be?"

"Perfect skin," Ron answered, pulling the pair apart, "and you're going to give him stubble burn. I think we should talk about the important matter at hand."

Kurt scoffed, he couldn't think of anyone who lived up to the prophecy and he decided to focus on today, "You're the one telling us to focus? Now I've heard it all."

"Right now," Charlie grabbed his brother's shoulder and squeezed, "it doesn't matter who 'the last of Gryffindor' is."

"Don't test me," Kurt scolded the young man as he moved back into his arms, "I've told you, as I've told Ronald and Harry, multiple times that Godric Gryffindor didn't have children! They didn't have IVF back then and he was too gay to close his eyes and think of England."

"Maybe he should have thought of you," Ron quipped, "it seems to drive everyone else crazy."

"So help me god, Ronald," Kurt growled, "I will blind you!"

"Yes Ronald," Charlie pointed across the store to where Hermione was leaning against a bookshelf and Viktor was whispering in her ear, "the Bulgarian Bon-bon is about to finger Hermione while we're all in the room."

"Why am I here?"

"You begged to be here!" Hermione chuckled.

"Tracey gave me her journal," Kurt pulled the journal out of his bag, "So we could cross reference any of our findings with her research-"

"But we didn't find anything," Ron countered.

"I'm aware Ronald," Kurt scowled at his friend, "I am well aware of all the money and time I've spent following a lead that just keeps leading me deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole with no end in sight…" Kurt took a deep breath, "there are so many branches that Rowena Ravenclaw's family could have followed in the last thousand years."

"Everyone, Let's go have lunch and wine at Andromeda's," Charlie threw some Floo powder into the fireplace and announced the address. When Kurt moved toward the fireplace, he held him in place.

"What?"

"This isn't the end of this lead," Charlie grabbed Kurt by the jaw and forced him to make eye contact, "you'll figure this out, you're the most brilliant mind of this millennium. There is nothing you can't do; so long as you want to find the wielder of the deplorable word, you will find them."

"I-"

"Who are you?" Charlie held him in place, "Tell me who you are."

"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel," he smiled gently, "first in my year, most powerful wizard of the century, sixth hottest guy at Hogwarts and best dressed student at the school."

"Damn right," Charlie leaned in and kissed him gently. He slung his arm over Kurt's shoulder and led him into the fireplace, "So, there are five guys hotter than you at Hogwarts?"

Kurt rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through the dark, deep red, jaw-length curls, "you need a haircut."

"Are you coming on to me?"

"Kurt Elizabeth," Andromeda smiled at him, "You're positively glowing."

"Salutations Andromeda," Kurt and his aunt nodded at each other, "How is Edward?"

"I hate that he's around," she handed him a large goblet of white wine, leaned in and lowered her voice, "but I'm glad that he's here."

"I know exactly how you feel," Kurt nodded, winking.

"I need to tell you about the letter that I wrote to my mother," she giggled, sipping her wine, "I poured my heart out about everything that's happened in my life for the last twenty-seven years and she responded with 'That's lovely to know, Thank you'."

"How did she sign it?"

"How did she sign it?" Andromeda furrowed her brow, "What kind of question is that?"

"We aren't an affectionate breed," Kurt sipped his wine, "Druella, yourself and me. I found that when Charles and I were courting each other that people use subtleties, for example; Charles signed off by asking me if it was dusty on the train, this is a lyric from a Bette Midler song titled 'PS I love you'."

"And, love you I do," Charlie pursed his lips, "but you were also my man, off to war."

"You are so far from perfect but so close too," Kurt grinned like a fool, "Do you see the significance of a sign off?"

"The letter was one sentence long, I didn't care how she signed it."

"Where's the letter now?"

"I don't know…" she shrugged and pointed at her adorable husband, who was fussing about the kitchen, "Ted probably kept it to scrapbook or decoupage."

"Edward!" Kurt waved the man over. They kissed each other on both cheeks, "Do you have Andromeda's letter?"

"The one from her mother?" he quirked a curious brow, producing the letter from the pocket of his apron, "I was meaning to discuss the matter with you."

"I've got this covered," Kurt took the letter, unfolded it and smirked, "She opened with 'Dearest', it took her a year to start sending me letters addressing me as 'dearest'."

"That's how all her letters to me have always begun," Andromeda shrugged, "even the warning before my marriage."

"You're her daughter, she'd had eleven years to learn to learn to care for you by the time she sent you the first letter."

"Took me four years to figure out how I felt about Kurt, I love him." Everyone stared at him, "Not romantically, I don't feel that way about anyone and that was the confusing part."

Kurt got to his feet and held his arms out for Ron, they embraced, "that's the first time you've actually told anyone but me."

"I love you too," Hermione said as she joined in the group hug, "You're my best friend."

Charlie, Viktor and Ted piled on but said nothing, Andromeda simply cleared her throat. Kurt cleared his throat in response, "this moment is derailing my point with Andromeda, stop touching me." The group dissipated but Kurt held Charlie's hand, "not you."

"Why me?" Kurt pushed him onto the couch and fell into his lap, "never mind." He turned to Andromeda, "I love your nephew."

"He's something," she charged both of their glasses as Kurt kissed Charlie, "Isn't he?"

"He- Kurt, could you bend down?" Charlie wagged a suggestive brow.

"I would like to see it," Andromeda smirked.

Kurt shook his head, picking up the letter, "he just wants to blow a raspberry, back to the letter."

"Do we have to?"

"She signed it 'Affectionately'," Kurt exclaimed.

"She still cares," Andromeda breathed heavily.

"That's what this letter was supposed to tell you," Kurt took a deep breath, holding back tears, "she, like you and I, doesn't have this immediate aptitude for emotive language."

"Kurt thought calling me names was a good way to let me know he liked me," Charlie smirked, attempting to tickle Kurt, "he kicked me once."

"Stop tickling me, it doesn't work," Kurt squared his shoulders, "I was actually trying to push you away with the insults, and I kicked you within twenty-four hours of meeting you- that doesn't count." He leaned away from Charlie and toward Andromeda, "How are you feeling about this?"

"I just want to speak to my mother but she probably won't see me…" she gulped her wine.

"Edward!" Kurt called out, "bring parchment and a quill. Also, Andromeda is ready for you." Ted appeared with canapés, a roll of parchment tucked under his arm and a quill held between his teeth like seductive man would with a rose. Kurt leaned into Charles, "take notes."

"Lunch is served," Ted announced and handed Kurt his requested items, "and for my favourite nephew."

"Thank you to my favourite uncle," Kurt smiled endearingly.

"You guys are fucking disgusting," Andromeda groaned.

Kurt tapped the provided stationary with his wand and grinned, "the three of us have plans for my next Hogsmead visit." Kurt pursed his lips, "Hermione, Ted; another time. Other people, we can plan a solstice dinner party."

"She won't have me," Andromeda shook her head.

Kurt smiled, "she has wanted this since the moment she told you to 'take care'. The thing about people like us is that once we open up to someone, it's for keeps; I can't leave these assholes anymore than your mother can stop loving you… I think." Kurt's breath hung low, "I've never fallen out of a relationship, the people I care about die."

"That's…"

Kurt shot to his feet, "If we're talking about the last of Ravenclaw, then we can use all the wizarding families that went extinct in the last millennium and trace them back to a common origin." Kurt's quill and parchment started up again, "Rowena Ravenclaw had one most trusted friend, Haim Black would know if there was a baby… we could have a séance."

"Séances aren't real."

"For spirits that have passed on," Kurt grinned manically, "but Helena Ravenclaw's best friend is a poltergeist or restless spirit known as Peeves, Bertram Colin Pavinsky- the original Gryffindor house ghost."

"Original Gryffindor house ghost?" Ron gaped, "Peeves? What about Nearly Headless Nick?"

"Nearly Headless Nick died four hundred years after the other house ghosts," Kurt smirked, "he was a replacement for Peeves, who was always a restless spirit but reached a breaking point." Kurt clapped excitedly, "spirits that never rested are more easily contacted within the bounds of real magic."

"That sounds like fun," Ron gasped, "can we make it a slumber party with the rest of the Slytherin girls."

"Slytherin girls are the best," Ted agreed, "Do you remember Willa?"

"Willa's daughter, Tracey Davis is the prettiest girl and third smartest student in our year!" Ron smiled broadly, "If one must date, date a Slytherin."

"Amen to that," Ted and Charlie announced.

"Willa has a daughter?"

"Yes."

"I…" Andromeda went silent.

"It's not your fault," Edward tried to reassure her.

"Willa actually married a muggle," Kurt spoke before he could stop himself. Kurt was silent for a moment, "I'm sorry but she and her daughter are in a similar position."

"I haven't spoken to Willa…"

"It's never too late," Ron shrugged.

"Yeah," Kurt sat back down in his boyfriend's lap, "so much to do."

"Not what I meant," Ron rolled his eyes.

Kurt mirrored the action, "I know, you want Andromeda to make nice with Tracey's mom- not my priority."

"Let me guess," Ron furrowed his brow, "something deceitful, something about dark magic and a very complicated plan of implementation?"

"Don't talk to my boyfriend that way," Charlie kissed his shoulder before whispering, "I won't die."

"Ronald," Kurt's face fell, "I forgot to tell the Slytherin Girls about your new naming credit."

"Fuck you Kurt!"

~0~

Ron:

"I hate to say this, ladies," Ron bounced on Tracey's bed, making sure not to spill his Charlie-sent champagne, "but Kurt and Charlie are the cutest couple ever."

"Kill me now," Pansy squealed, "Kurt deserves everything, though I still have malignant hate for him."

"That's called jealousy," Millicent pointed out.

Daphne shook her head, "I'm jealous of Kurt, nothing to be ashamed of."

"Thank you Daphne," Pansy smirked.

"Don't thank her," Tracey rolled her eyes, "she's only jealous of the fact that Kurt fallated Cedric and she didn't."

"Who isn't jealous of him for that?" Daphne countered and the Slytherin girls agreed.

"Speaking of reasons to be jealous of Kurt," Tracey intervened, "Our newest member needs to be congratulated, Kurt has interacted with 'the Serpent of Slytherin'."

"We were all here in second year," Daphne rolled her eyes, "What does that have to do with Ron?"

"Serpent of Slytherin is what we're calling Gregory Goyle's monster," The ladies clapped, "and it was all Ron's idea."

"In that case," Pansy smirked, "Call me the Heir of Slytherin because I'm going to control Serpent of Slytherin."

"Hermione was right about you," Ron smiled softly, "You have a way with words. She and Kurt think that you should be writer or a marketing guru."

"Definitely marketing," Millicent scoffed, "because that mouth has been writing checks that it cannot cash, how long are you going to be threatening to fuck Goyle?"

"I'm no Kurt Elizabeth Hummel," Pansy rolled her eyes, "it takes the rest of us time to gain his attention."

"Fear not," Kurt grinned as he stormed the room, "I will teach you my ways." Hermione, Lisa, Mandy and Padma entered the room after him, "I cannot, however, guarantee that they will work for you."

"My options are currently; keep doing what I've been doing, which has gotten me nowhere," Pansy shook her head, "Or take a chance and not die a virgin."

"Maybe if you picked someone who wasn't so obviously gay that might improve your chances," Padma shrugged to a chorus of affirmations.

"This is definitely the kettle calling the pot hag," Pansy sniggered under her breath.

"My boyfriend isn't gay," Pansy scoffed.

"Isn't he though?" Millicent quirked a curious brow.

Mandy shrugged, "He taught Neville how to French." She laid her hand on her chest and smiled warmly, "thank him for me."

"That doesn't make him gay," she shook her head, "he taught Hermione how to French as well."

Hermione mirrored Mandy's body language, "thank him for me."

"So," she nodded, waiting for someone in the crowd to agree with her, "he's not gay, he could be into both genders."

"You know what they say," Kurt smirked devilishly, "Bi today, gay tomorrow."

"That's a small minded and terrible stereotype," Ron heard himself say, "have asexuals also just not met the right person?"

"I'm not 'they'," Kurt held his hands up in surrender.

"but let's level," Pansy looked them each in the eye, "he's not gay."

"In all likelihood, no," Kurt tried to smile reassuringly but looked like he might eat Padma, "He's probably doing all of this kissing people irrespective of gender to mess with everyone." He produced his handbag and started pulling out the parts of a table and handing them out for assembly, "his sexuality doesn't matter; you guys are happy, right?"

Padma nodded, "yes."

"Then he can be gay tomorrow and that will be tomorrow's problem," Kurt smiled more assuringly, "but for today, you can just be whatever you are."

"Sometimes I forget why everyone hates you," she kissed Kurt on the cheek.

"It's because he's a cunt," Ron chuckled.

"Please leave," Kurt stopped distributing candles and pointed to the door, "these are my friends and comrades in evil, you are here at my mercy."

"Did I lie though?"

"I also wouldn't be lying if I said I hope you die violently," Kurt grabbed his cheek, "I look amazing in black and I would fuck your brother so hard on your grave."

Ron blushed, Kurt walked around the room rearranging candles so that they were just so. He drew a perfect circle in salt as he did so, he drank from a bottle of vodka as he went along and sprayed it around as he went and muttered under his breath- ignoring Tracey's protestations as he did so. They all took their seats and Kurt placed a small twig on the table, three lit candles, a bowl of water and one of blood inside the triangle formed by the candles.

They all held hands and Kurt started to speak, "Peeves!" the cartoonish poltergeist appeared with a broad grin on his face, "Ad ligandum eos partier eos coram me."

The candles blazed higher but Ron wasn't sure if it was Kurt's doing or the success of the séance, then Peeves began to glow and transform into a normal- if not handsome- man. Kurt smiled and his voice grew deeper, "Bertram Colin Pevinsky, we summon you as you were at your death. We summon you unbound by magic, we summon you and you alone completely."

The candles died down and a beautiful, chocolate skinned man stood on the table, "Why have you called me here?"

"To give you peace," Kurt stared the spirit down, "we've called you here to allow you to rest."

"I cannot find rest," the spirit turned away, "not until the curse is fulfilled, I know this in death."

Kurt pursed his lips, "we know about the curse, we know how to free you." Kurt squared his shoulders, "this curse does not belong to you."

"This curse-"

"The curse belonged to Helena," Kurt maintained eye contact the whole time, "it was not yours to carry."

"For as long as the curse goes unfulfilled I am bound to this plain of existence," he looked down at his hands, dejected, "this is my burden."

"The curse will never be fulfilled unless you tell us what you're hiding, there has been a breakdown in the natural course of the curse and you will never rest until order is restored."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Something of Salazar Slytherin still exists," Kurt spoke frankly, "there lives an heir, and the curse-"

"The curse demands an heir to Ravenclaw to match," the spirit faltered for a moment, flickering.

Kurt attempted a reassuring smile once more, "you are no longer bound by the magic that bound you in life, it only exists in your mind." Kurt rolled his eyes, "you can't die again."

"I…" the spirit flickered, "I am bound by my promise."

"You are the only one who suffers from the results of this curse," Kurt countered.

"This was my lot in life and in death."

Kurt rolled his eyes, "cut the bullshit, I know that if something of Slytherin remains then there must be something of Ravenclaw as well." He stared the ghost down harder than before, "just tell us how that manifests; did Helena have a sister? Did she have a secret baby?"

"That boy…" Peeves's human counterpart glowed brighter, "from the day she first saw him, she wanted him despite her mother and I's assurances that he would lead to her ruin." His face grew peaceful as he spoke, "Edward Tuft-Waldon, she fell pregnant with his child and gave her life so the boy might live."

Kurt's eyes went wide, "do you know what became of him?"

"After they defied Rowena, it killed her," he was silent for a moment, "he was raised by his father's family…" Peeves looked off into the distance, to something Ron couldn't see, "it's finally my time."

"Go," Kurt nodded. They all watched as the young man turned back into his cartoonish poltergeist form and then dissolved into a cloud of gold dust and dissipated into the air, Kurt let out a tired breath and the candles went out.

"Whose blood is that?" Daphne turned to Kurt as they let go of each other's hands.

"Harry's" Ron smiled, "Kurt had me steal it in his sleep." Ron didn't mention that they had made this choice because Kurt had already given blood for this fight, "this is his war after all."

"Am I the only one who wants to know what that was all about?" Millicent looked from the first person to the next, none of them but Kurt would meet her eye, "or is this some big secret."

"If I tell you, then you're a part of this," Kurt crossed his arms, "then you are putting against the dark lord."

"Come to think of it…"

"That's what I thought."

"What did we learn from this whole thing?" Tracey Davis stared daggers at Kurt, "Or did you pour salt all over my floors and spit all around my room for no reason?"

"That Helena had a son, raised by the Baron of Kesteven," Kurt smirked, "and that death can break a curse."

"What does that even mean?" Ron furrowed his brow.

"I have a place to start," Kurt pursed his lips, "I can follow descendants of the Baron's bloodline till I come to someone who can tell me where to find the deplorable word."

"Don't you mean someone who can use the deplorable word?"

"It's a spell," Kurt shrugged, "Anyone can use it." He straightened his perfect clothing and smiled, "I hate to be this person-"

"You live to be this person," Hermione smirked.

"Only thing that keeps me going in times as dark as these," he chuckled.

Tracey smiled, "I still don't know why you spat all over my room."

"To ward off evil spirits," Ron smiled, "we learned that in divination."

"Indeed, we did," Hermione nodded condescendingly, "what's next?"

"More research," Kurt nodded to himself as if trying to convince the person who mattered most to him, himself. He nodded to himself, "I'll do some work with Harry Potter in the interim but I believe that I must find the deplorable word."

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