Ch. 100
"Starscream, what is your malfunction?"
Optimus didn't have to yell to show the seeker he was upset. There was a deepness to his voice that carried the wavering anger under the tones of every word he spoke. And Starscream was ashamed. He couldn't look the larger mech in the faceplates.
Optimus released an intake, his frown softening only slightly, "You have been able to avoid talking to me for quiet some time. I am not going to allow you to do that now."
The seeker's wings flew up, his optics widening as he whined, "I don't actually have to have a feel-good moment with you, do I?"
"Starscream," his name was spoken sharply and the mech in question flinched, the Prime taking hold of his arm to lead him further into the base, "This is no longer a request. You attacked Smokescreen. You were beating him."
Starscream pouted and wrenched his arm away, "He started it! He assumed I was femme! He touched me!"
Optimus stared down at him, "He touched you?"
The seeker grumbled, "My wing... The point is that my actions were fully justified!"
"They were not and you know it," the Prime said, his tone still firm, "And if you will not speak to me, then I have no choice but to confine you to your quarters."
Starscream's optics widened, a frown on his faceplates, "What?! You can't do that to me! I have too much riding on everything to be treated like some sort of sparkling!"
Optimus shook his helm, "I have no choice. Your actions today only prove to me that you are harboring far too much stress to conduct yourself accordingly. If you will not allow me to help you, then I will have to protect you and others before you lose control again."
"I am fully in control!" the seeker argued, "That little brat had no right to assume anything, let alone touch me! He deserved far worse!"
"Because of what he did to you today? Or what he supposedly did before?"
The question took Starscream back. Back to what had happened. Back to the memories of him being alone, having nothing, abandoned to the elements alongside his own hubris and selfishness. Back to that Prime-wannabe that glared him in the optics and fought back against him with the very Phase Shifter he had used on him moments earlier. Back to the original timeline. Back to 'DEAD'.
Starscream snarled, realizing the look on his faceplates was telling Optimus everything he needed to know, "I don't have to listen to you prattle on with your theories on how I 'feel'."
The Prime stopped the seeker from leaving, taking his servo in his own, "You will have to. This behavior cannot be allowed to fester. You are afraid. You have every right to be. No one here can judge you for that."
The silver mech pouted again and tried to pull his servo away, whining, "Stop, I don't want to hear this!"
Optimus didn't let him go, "We have all been through great ordeals, even since before your transformation. But you have saved so many. You told Soundwave that you were willing to sacrifice yourself to preserve our lives. You nearly died in the sea. I cannot begin to describe to you the sight I witnessed when the current nearly took you away."
Starscream transformed out his other blaster, aiming it at the red mech, "Stop! Don't make me-"
"Shoot me, Starscream," Optimus frowned, his grip still strong, "If this will help you, if this will save the rest of our team from your pain and anger, then I want you to shoot me. I want you to let out every piece of anguish that plagues you. If it will save you, then my sacrifice will be worth it."
The seeker was mortified to feel hot tears streaming from his optics down his faceplate. His frame was beginning to tremble and he couldn't keep his blaster steady.
"I... I can't..." he growled through the tears, shaking his helm, "Stop it, stop talking. Just let me go..." Starscream snarled loudly to emphasis his request, "Let me go or... or I'll-"
"Then shoot me, Starscream."
The seeker let out a whimper and stared at those blue optics. Those horribly understanding optics. The ones that always held so much hope for every bot they settled on. They were still the same as he remembered when it all went to slag. They still made him feel little. Powerless...
Starscream whined again and instead tried to wrench his servo free from the Prime's grasp. Optimus pulled back harder and trapped him in a tight hug, the smaller mech's blaster now right against his chest plate. The muzzle was poised just under a section of metal.
Starscream squealed and shook his helm, his sobs becoming more vocal than he wanted, but Optimus still didn't let him go, "If you shoot now," the Prime murmured, "your blaster will melt through my chest plate and hit my spark chamber and I will die. I may be leaning forward to keep you from running, but I will collapse to the side and you will be free to escape. Now shoot."
The seeker choked back a whimper, his mouth dry as he tried to swallow, "N..."
"Do not think," Optimus said softly, "Just let out the anger. I am a willing participant. You do not wish to die, Starscream. I know this. But if I die in order to save you from this that ails you, then I know it will not be in vain. I know you will still see to Megatron's end. I believe that. I believe in you."
Starscream wailed more openly and transformed his blaster away, instead beating the trembling servo weakly against the red chest plate he was trapped against, "I hate you... I hate you..."
The Prime nodded and slid to the floor, pulling the seeker down with him, "I accept your feelings towards me, but that will not stop me from saving you. Please, Starscream."
The silver mech cried quietly, his wings low and his chassis shaking without pause; his voice hardly faltered, however, as he stared down at the small bit of floor shared between them, "I-I'm terrified," he sobbed, "I confess it. Everything is going wrong. I can't keep pretending that we're all going to get through this. Soundwave is proof enough. You and he were nearly lost. I..." his trembling worsened and Starscream wailed louder, the servo caught by Optimus finally gripping back, "I am going to die. I am going to die at the end of all this, I know it will happen. And I can't face death again. My luck is going to run out. Something will happen. My hiccup will fail, my allies will be nowhere in sight, and my killer will have no qualms about ending my life. I don't just know it, I feel it in every component of my frame. I may not be dead yet, but I came far too close and now I can't stop thinking... imagining..."
Optimus shook his helm, "Your greatest fear is death. It is not uncommon to fear such a thing. But you will not die, Starscream. You do not need to concern yourself with this," the Prime finally released the seeker's servo but only to place both on his chest plate, over his spark, "I know you are destined for far greater things than you or I realize. Your second chance at life, your many chances at life on this plane of existence, should be proof enough. And should your power fail you, should your allies be too far away, should your end glare back at you with its weapon ready to strike you down, know that I will stand ready to make the ultimate sacrifice for you. My spark I will gladly trade to save yours."
Starscream finally looked back into those optics. Those horrible, understanding, hopeful optics. Optimus smiled gently and held out his servo, taking one of Starscream's softly in his own.
The seeker whimpered softly, sniffing back his tears, "I... I hate you..."
The Prime nodded, his smile still present, "I understand, Starscream. But I will still make you that promise. And should I die saving you, the future will be all the better for it."