Author's note: I suddenly got an idea for this chapter while taking a shower, and I kind of threw it up on this long chapter. I think my muse is finally back, though I just hope it lasts for me to finish this story. I almost erased the entire thing, but I'm hungry. Hope you like it!

Chapter 9

Where was the stupid wench?

Inuyasha stopped at the well, his heart racing as he looked for any sign of the connection between their two worlds. The power that normally radiated from the well was gone though, not even a trace of it left behind. Inuyasha put his hands to the well edge, his claws digging into the rubble as he fought the urge to yell through it. He had hoped when he jumped in he would be enveloped in its power, only for his feet to hit solid ground without a skip.

Where was it?

Inuyasha dug his claws into the dirt, panic rising in his gut as his futile digging only led to a small pile of dirt next to him.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled, seeing the ground beneath him getting wet before he even realized he had started crying. The hanyou angrily wiped away his tears, his voice coming out in a hoarse growl.

"Kagome!"

"Inuyasha?"

The hanyou looked up, seeing Shippo's mournful stare. The hanyou looked back down to the dirt beneath his claws, his hands clenching into tight fists.

No…

No!

Shippo screamed when Inuyasha bolted out of the well, the demon child falling back as Inuyasha landed heavily in front of him.

"Where did she go?" Inuyasha barked, Shippo's eyes glistening as he tried to fight back his own onslaught of emotions. Inuyasha picked up the small demon, dangling his body in the air.

"Where!" Inuyasha yelled desperately, the aggression in his voice met with a soft sob. Inuyasha stilled when Shippo started wailing, the fox demon's cries hurting Inuyasha's chest.

Why?

"She sacrificed herself, to get rid of the jewel!" Shippo cried, Inuyasha's eyes widening as the memories from that fateful day speared into his mind.

"Kagome!" Shippo wailed, the sound of his cries echoing in Inuyasha's ears. The hanyou lowered down the demon, Inuyasha blindly sitting back against the well. His hands were shaking as he tried to fight off the onslaught of despair in his gut, the feeling of utter remorse flowing through his veins.

She sacrificed herself for them… And he had forgotten about her.

Inuyasha felt his chest tighten as he was confronted with this knowledge, a lump forming in his throat. The hanyou lowered his head, his ears falling back in defeat.

And what had he done?

Mated Sesshomaru?

Inuyasha took in a shaky breath, looking up when he heard footfalls above the wailing demon. Miroku and Sango stood there, their eyes full of pain. Inuyasha looked away from them, biting his lip that threatened to tremble.

Why did she always have to put herself before others?

Why did she throw away everything to get rid of that stupid jewel?

Inuyasha would have stayed by her side, would have helped her guard it. He would have protected her till the day she died, would have guarded the jewel till she would return to him.

"Kaede..." Miroku started, an awkward tension filling the air. Inuyasha met the monk's eyes, wanting to know.

He needed to know.

How did he forget her?

"Kaede said it was the jewels wish. For you to forget." Inuyasha couldn't even respond, his eyes turning down to the dirt beneath his feet and watching as he dug his feet into the ground. It gave with little resistance, Inuyasha staying quiet as Sango comforted the sniffling demon child.

If the demon could be called that anymore.

How long had Inuyasha really been away?

Miroku and Sango had obviously aged, their faces unable to hide the finest of wrinkles. They were gathered at their foreheads from stress most likely.

How long?

"How long has it been? Since I forgot?" Inuyasha asked, his voice soft, sounding nothing like the confident half demon he had remembered himself as.

"It's been three years, Inuyasha."

To Inuyasha it had only been a few months, though to know now he had truly been gone for years hurt him. He knew he had been at his hut for a long time, but to truly think all that time had passed? Everybody had moved on without him, their lives set out before them in plain view.

But Inuyasha?

Where did he belong now?

The hanyou stood up, turning his back to the humans he had once considered his pack. The people who had saved his life more times than he was willing to admit.

"You have a home here, Inuyasha." Sango's offer was kind, though Inuyasha knew he couldn't. For him time always passed in a slow continuous flow, but to realize once again the humans were so fragile hurt him.

How long before they were gone forever?

Like his dear Kagome?

Could he watch his companions die, as he did his mother?

"It's okay Sango," Inuyasha whispered, crossing his arms so they fit into his sleeves. The hanyou began to walk away, stopping when a hand touched his shoulder.

"No matter what Inuyasha, you will always have a home with us." The hanyou met the monk's concerned eyes, his lips heavy as he gave a small smile.

"Thank you Miroku, Sango." Inuyasha walked away from the familiarity of the place he had once called home, passing by the tree he had been stuck to all those years ago.

In his muddled mind, it had felt like only a few months had passed since that arrow trapped him. The hanyou hunched his shoulders and continued to walk, a haunting memory flashing behind his eyes. He knew the scent now, knew the scent of who had been on that futon.

That last night before they took down Naraku and she wished away the jewel, Inuyasha had shared his body with the Miko. It wasn't perfect or romantic, rather jerkier and more hurried as they hoped not to rouse the rest in their group. It had been awkward sure, Inuyasha never before having slept with anybody in his life.

Except now, somebody else had touched him.

Inuyasha jumped into the air, letting the air rush against him as he hoped for something else besides the pain in his chest. He felt the sting in his eyes before feeling the warmth, though he let the wind take it away.

A pain in his gut stopped him, the hanyou landing on the ground as he cradled his cramping stomach.

This is what he had now.

The abomination inside of him. Inuyasha fell to his knees when he was violently hit with a wave of nausea, his eyes closing tight as he prayed for anything but the onset of morning sickness.

The proof of the thing inside of him.

He felt betrayed.

Inuyasha ran back to his hut and opened the shoji, looking around the near empty area. He slowly walked over to the futon that still held Kagome's scent, even after all of these years. Inuyasha fell to his knees before it, lifting it up slowly and holding it close his chest. He lowered his chin, sniffing her scent. She had always smelled of lavender, and when he had taken her she had smelled of it even more so.

Inuyasha lowered it slowly, looking to his stomach.

But now, what should he do?

He couldn't change the fact that Kagome was gone, couldn't change the fact his friends would die.

No, none of that he could change.

The thing inside of him though, it begged to be heard, to be noticed.

"You will marry me, Inuyasha."

The hanyou closed his eyes, touching his hand to his aching stomach, rubbing his thumb against his lower abdomen. To think the thing inside of him would lead to this mess?

If he hadn't remembered, would his instant answer have been yes?

Inuyasha wanted to recoil at the thought, but he knew a part of him had wanted it. Had wanted to hear those words. When he didn't remember Kagome, when he believed blindly of the false affair, Inuyasha had hoped. He had hoped Sesshomaru had really loved him before he lost his memory, had really wanted to be with him.

Inuyasha could still feel his hands on him, could still feel his lips kiss him in places that heated his body and drove him to insanity. Sesshomaru had been everything the hanyou wanted when he showered him in his attention, even if sometimes he was cold.

His hopes were so stupid.

Had he thought that way before Kagome? Kikyo even?

Had he always felt this way about Sesshomaru?

Had he?

What was wrong with him?

Inuyasha looked to the shoji when he heard it shake, a familiar scent wafting into his nose. The person didn't enter though, wouldn't more like it. Inuyasha rose and walked over to the shoji, opening and meeting the eyes of the wolf demon who Inuyasha had hated once.

Now, Inuyasha felt little towards his existence.

"So, you remember mutt?"

Inuyasha tried not to roll his eyes, fighting another onslaught of nausea that speared his gut. Kōga saw the brief flash of pain on his rival's face, his nose twitching as he smelled Inuyasha's scent.

Both stayed silent, Kōga not even sure of what to say.

The smell of Inuyasha's pregnancy was potent, it's power radiating around Inuyasha like fire. Kōga took a step back, smelling the father's scent mingled underneath. Inuyasha watched as the demon took another step back, the wolf's lips parting as words tried and failed to escape.

Inuyasha fell to his knees as nausea speared him again, gagging violently as he felt the vomit rise in his throat. It burned his throat, the offensive smell radiating from the dirt. Kōga just stood there, his eyes wide and nearly bulging out of his head as he looked down to the hanyou.

What had happened between his loss of memory and now?

Why was the once hot headed half demon reduced to this pitiful mess?

Kōga found himself helping the half demon back into his hut, gathering the herbs to aid in his nausea. His own wife had very bad nausea when she carried his pups, so to find the necessary remedy wasn't hard. Kōga said nothing as he prepared it for Inuyasha, using the pit in the middle to heat up some water. He poured the hot water over the herbs he gathered, watching the water turn a light yellow.

He was doing this for Kagome, that was all.

It was the least he could do for her and the stupid mutt.

Kōga sat the half demon up, bringing the herbal drink to chapped lips. Inuyasha drank it slowly, his eyes closed his brow pulled tight in the presence of pain.

Kōga would never admit he did this to anyone, and if anyone spoke about this he would gut them alive.

Kōga helped the half demon drink some more till the cup was empty, watching as the lines on his brow gave way and Inuyasha's labored breaths evened out.

Sesshomaru's scent was all over the half demon.

It was near suffocating, the demon having laid claim to the sleeping form. Kōga sat back slightly as he sighed, unsure of what to do. He wanted to treat the mutt like he had before, but the little crap was pregnant.

He wanted to yell at him for forgetting Kagome, for not immediately attacking him when he came into his presence. The Inuyasha he had known was replaced by a being he didn't know.

"Stupid mutt."

How did he get himself into this mess?

Kōga froze when he heard a deep growl, the shoji rattling as wind whipped outside. A cold shiver ran down the wolf demon's spine.

"Get away from my mate."

Inuyasha awoke to the sound of fighting, his stomach quivering slightly but not as bad as before. The hanyou sat up and looked to his shoji, the night air pouring in from its opening. He was shocked to see Sesshomaru, the demon's eyes red as he fought Kōga. Inuyasha slowly rose up, his body aching in desperation for sleep.

Kōga yelled out as he was slammed into a tree, Sesshomaru heading towards him with a growl of pure rage.

"Hey!"

The two stopped abruptly, Inuyasha holding his stomach as he glared at Sesshomaru.

It had only been three days, not a week!

"Stupid what are you doing here?" Inuyasha spat, feeling very much more himself than before. Sesshomaru merely scowled, a deep growl escaping his throat.

"You let him touch you?" Sesshomaru growled, Inuyasha blinking as he looked to Kōga who was bleeding from his torso.

Sesshomaru had been brutal to him.

Inuyasha looked back to the demon lord, the red eyes staring into his soul making a part of him want to submit.

Submit to his mate.

To only him.

Inuyasha felt his demon try to take control, try to push Inuyasha to submit to his angered mate. Inuyasha fought it, his mouth becoming dry as his legs became weak.

Sesshomaru…

Mate.

Inuyasha started to pant softly, the sight leading Sesshomaru to lower his guard as arousal speared the demon lord in the gut. Kōga looked between the two, felt their demons clash in a power of wills. It was his chance to escape though, the wolf demon shakily getting to his feet and turning to run.

He yelped when he was pinned down, Sesshomaru having apparently not forgotten about him.

"I will tear you apart for touching my mate," Sesshomaru growled into his ear, the demon lord crazy with his want to protect his mate.

The demon lord had probably felt the hanyou's distress from earlier, the call to protect his mate driving him insane. If only Koga could convince the raving demon the distress he had felt was from Inuyasha's morning sickness, and not because Kōga had touched him.

To think he had treated anybody who had come near his mate the same way.

"Sesshomaru stop."

The demon lord looked over his shoulder to his mate, Inuyasha frowning at them both. Kōga needed get away from the two, and fast.

"He didn't do anything to me Sesshomaru, he merely helped me with my nausea." Sesshomaru loosened his grip and that was all the wolf demon needed before he scrambled away and ran far away from the duo.

He would know soon enough what had happened between the pair.

Back at the hut Inuyasha glared at Sesshomaru, having managed to reign in his demon enough to reduce himself from becoming a puddle at the demon's feet.

His demon was desperate for his mate, and he knew it.

But it hadn't been a week.

"You promised me a week," Inuyasha told him blankly, Sesshomaru standing up fully to face his mate. The two stared each other down, Sesshomaru's eyes returning to their stoic gold.

"Your demon called for me," Sesshomaru stated blankly, Inuyasha trying not to roll his eyes. He turned back into his hut, Sesshomaru following. The demon closed the shoji, keeping in the small amount of heat from the swindling fire.

Inuyasha sat down on his futon and sighed, his demon still calling out for its mate. Inuyasha tried to squash it but couldn't, though he knew it was affecting Sesshomaru, the demon lords' hands twitching at his sides.

They sat in a lengthy silence.

"Kōga merely helped me by giving me herbs for my nausea," Inuyasha explained, his voice softer than he had expected. Sesshomaru looked to the hanyou, his expression staying stoic as Inuyasha continued.

"The idiot wouldn't do anything to me Sesshomaru, besides try to goad me into a fight." Sesshomaru stayed silent, Inuyasha looking up to him with a small frown.

"And I'm pretty sure you scared him off for a good thousand years."

"Then why did you call for me?" Inuyasha looked to the demon, wanting to read his expression. He forgot Sesshomaru could make his face seem like a statue, not showing any emotion whatsoever, even though Inuyasha knew it was there.

"I didn't realize I had. Though…" Inuyasha trailed off, Sesshomaru staying calm as he waited for Inuyasha to continue.

"I went to the well… To look for her." Inuyasha looked away from the demon lord, looking to the hand he had placed against the floor.

Had he really called for Sesshomaru when he realized Kagome was gone?

Silence filled the air.

"Why didn't you tell me it had been three years?"

Sesshomaru was silent for a long moment, his eyes never leaving Inuyasha as he seemed to mull over his response.

"Because you didn't remember." The answer was so simple, it actually angered Inuyasha.

That was it?

He had been wandering for three years, and that was all Sesshomaru could tell him?

"I had been caring for Rin, since she had decided to join me by my side. Your whereabouts were of no concern to me."

Inuyasha sighed, lowering his head as he tried to think of something to say. Something besides the hate he felt towards the demon. The hate that masked his hope.

"Have you thought over my offer?" Sesshomaru's voice was softer than before, Inuyasha feeling his heart jump.

Had he?

He had sat in his hut for two days to try and mull it over, but by the third day he couldn't take it anymore. He ran to the well, hoping for this all to be a dream and for Kagome to hold him and tell him everything would be alright.

He could only discern that a part of him so badly wanted to say yes, to marry the demon that had lied to him and made him feel so perfect.

But he always wanted to kill Sesshomaru for bringing him to his knees the way he had. Inuyasha felt violated, felt weak, felt disgusted. Even so, his demon cried for him. Cried to be held the way he had been before he got back his memories, to feel safe again.

Inuyasha felt the stinging of his tears, felt the warm spill down his cheeks.

Why did this have to happen to him?

"I hate you," Inuyasha grit out over the lump in his throat, taking in a sharp breath as hid his face. He couldn't fight the contradicting emotions, couldn't fight his want to just be close to the demon.

God it was unbearable.

Sesshomaru didn't move though, didn't come to the aid of his crying mate.

He wanted his answer, wanted to know Inuyasha wanted him. He needed to hear that Inuyasha was willing to marry him. He wouldn't return to the castle until then, where his mother waited for Sesshomaru to return with his mate. She didn't know who it was yet, and Sesshomaru had left before she could pry the information from him.

"Inuyasha." The demon's voice stayed soft as he tried to comfort his mate without touching him, not wanting to be unraveled by the hanyou's demon. He wanted so badly to hold his mate, to make him stop crying.

So badly…

"If I said yes, what then?" Inuyasha's whispered sob was barely audible, but with Sesshomaru's sense of hearing he caught it. His heart jumped at the thought. But… Why?

"You will stay with me in my castle, and be recognized as my mate and my Empress."

"I thought I was your concubine?"

"It does not please you."

Inuyasha snorted softly, his tears clearing up. Inuyasha wiped his face with his sleeve, finding a little humor in this.

"Now you want to 'please' me?" Inuyasha snorted softly after he spoke, wiping his face a little harder.

"You are my mate, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru stated, almost sounding matter of factually. Inuyasha sighed shakily, standing up to his feet as he regarded the demon lord with a slightly heated stare.

"How do you know I'll be accepted?" Inuyasha countered, Sesshomaru not missing a beat.

"Whoever disagrees will be killed without mercy." Sesshomaru's eyes turned down to Inuyasha's stomach, his gaze softening slightly.

"You carry my pup inside of you Inuyasha. You carry my only heir." Inuyasha blushed slightly at the thought, knowing exactly how it came to be.

Inuyasha felt heat spear him in the gut, though not from nausea. Sesshomaru took in a deep breath of his arousal, his pupils dilating slightly.

Did Inuyasha really have anybody else he could return to?

Did he really want anybody else?

"I'll marry you," Inuyasha whispered, smelling the spike in Sesshomaru's own arousal. The two locked eyes, Inuyasha feeling his cheeks heat up more. Sesshomaru moved towards him, his eyes never leaving Inuyasha, not even as Inuyasha sat down onto his futon.

Sesshomaru let his armor fall to the ground, his eyes straying to Inuyasha's neck where he could see his pulse. Sesshomaru stripped down to his haori, letting it flow open as he got to his knees in front of Inuyasha. Inuyasha looked away from the demon lord, his cheeks going impossibly red as Sesshomaru undid his obi.

Inuyasha moved so he wasn't sitting on his legs, letting the demon slide his hakama off his body. Sesshomaru undid the fundoshi and licked Inuyasha's throat, feeling his quickening pulse under his tongue.

Though it had only been three days Sesshomaru had missed him. When it wasn't him that had to leave, the absence of his mate drove him wild.

Sesshomaru pushed off the red kimono, letting it drop and pool around his mate. He parted the haori, running his fingers over Inuyasha's chest. Inuyasha's breathe hitched, the hanyou noticeably tense.

Sesshomaru slid off the haori and leaned forward, catching the lips of his blushing mate. Inuyasha didn't fight as he accepted him, his demon growling in desire. The growl echoed through Inuyasha's throat, the sound arousing the demon lord further.

Sesshomaru wanted to make this moment last, wanted to not take Inuyasha as he had done previously. However, his mentality was unraveling faster than he had expected, his member throbbing in need of being sheathed in his mate.

Sesshomaru growled back, pushing Inuyasha down softly as to not hurt him. Sesshomaru reached a hand down, feeling the wetness against his fingers. He thought to stretch out the hanyou but felt an overwhelming urge to dominant him now, with little preamble or foreplay.

Sesshomaru felt his demon roar, felt its desires under his skin and make him shake. Inuyasha felt his own demon beneath his skin, demanding it now. Inuyasha leaned up and kissed his mate, whining softly into the kiss as he tried to hurry the demon along.

Sesshomaru groaned into the heated mouth, his lips parting and greeting an adventurous tongue. He reached down to his aching member, pulling away from the kiss to look down to Inuyasha's hole. When he breached the hanyou he felt like fireworks were exploding behind his eyes, his teeth grit tight as he pushed in slowly, trying really hard to not hurt his mate.

Inuyasha felt nausea swell as he accepted his mate, groaning in discomfort as his tight passage was forced to accommodate the burning arousal. The wetness could only do so much, and since it had been a while Inuyasha was kind of tight.

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha groaned as he felt the demon settle fully inside of him, the two still for a second as it registered what was happening. Sesshomaru felt immeasurable amounts of pleasure, though a hefty plate of pain joined in. Inuyasha was gripping him too tight, and he could tell from the hanyou's face he was in a lot more pain the he was.

Sesshomaru grabbed Inuyasha's knee and lifted up his leg and moved it more to the side, tilting his hips some as he planted soft kisses along the hanyou's jaw. He was shaking in his urge to find release, to pound into the hanyou till he screamed his name.

Inuyasha slowly relaxed against the intrusion, his eyes closed as he began to pant from the feeling of being so full with something so hot and hard. Having sex in the realm of coherency was different from what he had experienced before.

When Sesshomaru felt Inuyasha's hole unclamp slightly he began to move, grunting each time his hips slapped against Inuyasha's ass. Inuyasha groaned beneath him, Sesshomaru's angle not massaging that place deep inside him. Inuyasha shifted and cried out when Sesshomaru's member grazed against his pleasure spot, his demon growling in need.

Inuyasha felt it take over, felt the lines of his heritage move over his skin. Sesshomaru grunted when Inuyasha pushed him away, the demon angry until Inuyasha got on all fours and presented his ass in the air.

Sesshomaru reunited quickly, feeding off the arousal Inuyasha's demon released in waves. Sesshomaru threw all caution to the wind and began to thrust, his mind fogging as he took the hanyou as he so desperately needed to.

"Inuyasha," Sesshomaru groaned heavily, hissing as the hanyou in question pushed back against him. It was all growls and grunts from there, their demons rutting like animals as they relinquished control. Sesshomaru felt his release rising quickly and reached under his mate, stroking the weeping arousal and gaining a loud cry of pleasure from his mate.

Sesshomaru felt the knot in his stomach grow insufferably tight, growling deep in his throat as he thrusted faster and harder. Inuyasha moaned out his pleasure, his body pulled over the edge in burst of pleasure. Sesshomaru groaned as the hanyou's orgasm prompted his own, emptying himself into his mate with small thrusts.

They fell in a heap on the futon, Inuyasha panting as he tried to gain control of his mind. His demon faded away, though as they fell into slumber, neither realized the markings never left.