Author's note: I took a morning walk to watch the sunrise before writing this story. Let us hope the sunrise gives me some of its poetic justice. So it's night time now, and sunrise poetic justice did not happen. I actually am losing my muse for this story, as now I wonder where I'm going with it. Hopefully it sticks around.

Chapter 12

Getting back his memories made the hanyou feel weird. One moment he would think of Kagome's soft lips and abrasive attitude, to thinking about Sesshomaru's gentle hands and warm tongue. It was beyond concerning that he lusted after the demon in such a way, only to feel a part of himself revel in his protective aura.

He didn't voice these thoughts to the demon, as to do so crossed some boundary in his mind. Since the return from his hut he had abstained from sexual intercourse, as a part of him felt weirded out by it all.

At least after his demon was sure it wasn't being rejected.

Sesshomaru stuck to his office for most of the day, catching up with work that piled high as famine started to plague the west. It was caused by things outside of a demon's control, though Inuyasha wondered if maybe the defeat of Naraku had anything to do with it.

The crazy thing, if he could even be called that, released enough miasma to affect the surrounding area, on some occasions destroying entire fields of food. From his newly awakened memories he remembered the people were rebuilding, though it was a slow process.

Now in terms of his avoidance of Sesshomaru, he wasn't sure what to do.

He still felt pain from being lied to, there was no doubt about that. But he couldn't deny a large part of himself wanted to forget once again, to enjoy his life with Sesshomaru. The demon lord, though a selfish bastard, had made Inuyasha feel ways he hadn't with Kagome or Kikyo.

And to think he even felt…

Love…

Inuyasha fought the blush that tried to burn up his cheeks, shaking his head angrily as he demanded it go away. He would never utter those words out loud, but they were true. He felt love for the demon lord, even if it was bred from a lie so the demon could get off.

"Inuyasha."

The hanyou looked up, coming to the realization he had been walking aimlessly around the gardens. He wasn't sure which part he was in as the walls were tall, though to see Sesshomaru meant a guard probably alerted him of his odd behavior.

The hanyou winced.

Even the guards were afraid of him for the most part.

"What is wrong?" Sesshomaru asked, his voice taking on the monotone he used outside the bedroom. Inuyasha frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. It was childish, though he didn't want the demon lord to ask him stuff like that.

This hanyou could take care of himself.

"Nothing," Inuyasha responded, looking down to the ground and kicking a stray flower petal with his foot. There was a heavy silence afterwards, which quickly turned into awkward. Inuyasha looked up when it bordered on uncomfortable, caught off guard by the intensity in the demon's eyes.

"W-What!" Inuyasha sputtered, trying not to blush. Sesshomaru slowly moved towards him, almost seeming to give Inuyasha the chance to run if he wanted, which the hanyou was almost grateful for. However, he was stubborn and didn't turn his back to the demon, keeping his stare as the demon closed the distance completely.

"How do you feel?" The demon asked softer, the monotone voice replaced by one of caring, the voice he used when they were alone. Inuyasha couldn't fight the blush that creeped onto his cheeks, trying to shrug his shoulder nonchalantly.

"Tired mostly," Inuyasha replied, Sesshomaru nodding as he raised a hand and touched it to the hanyou's cheek. Inuyasha tensed at first but quickly relaxed, the warmth of the gesture making the part of him that yearned for the demon purr.

Sesshomaru hid it well but he was a gentle being when it came to his partners, always willing to make them feel safe and loved. Inuyasha enjoyed the feeling immensely, rubbing his cheek against the demons' hand with a soft sigh.

"Remembering hurts," Inuyasha whispered, opening his eyes and staring into Sesshomaru's. The intensity was still there, though a question was hidden there. Inuyasha sighed again and moved closer hesitantly, pressing himself against the demon. The part of him that had grown to adore the demon merely wanted his comfort, while the other part screamed in utter disgust.

It was a tiring battle.

"I want to forget again," Inuyasha whispered, his words slightly muffled against Sesshomaru's chest. The demon growled softly, the noise soothing the hanyou's frayed nerves.

"You would have wanted to know, regardless of your memory," Sesshomaru replied, ever the voice of reason. Inuyasha hesitantly raised his arms, wrapping them around Sesshomaru's waist loosely.

"I know, but I don't know what to do now," Inuyasha whispered, burrowing deeper into the demons' chest and breathing in deeply.

He smelled good.

"Why?" Sesshomaru ventured to ask, probably more to keep Inuyasha talking versus an actual want to know. Either way, Inuyasha was weirdly grateful to get this off his chest.

"I've never felt… safe before." It was a weird thing to admit to, though in response the demon relaxed against him. A hand touched his hair, smoothing it down in long stroke, which felt akin to being pet. Normally Inuyasha would be offended to some degree, though now he merely enjoyed the feeling. When fingers and claws began to scratch the back of an ear Inuyasha melted against the demon's body, shivering in pleasure.

"Isn't this a good thing?" Sesshomaru asked, alternating to the other ear and giving it a few good scratches. Inuyasha bit back a moan.

"Yeah," he panted softly, focusing on that delicious pleasure. "I just… normally I'm fighting. Being still, being any of this is just strange to me," Inuyasha finally managed to get out, his eyes going a bit cross eyed when Sesshomaru started using both hands to tackle both ears.

"Would you like to spar?" Sesshomaru asked, the slightest bit of humor slipping into his voice. Inuyasha couldn't stop the moan this time, nodding his head absentmindedly.

"Yeah," Inuyasha purred, gasping softly as his head was pulled back and a firm kiss was placed on his lips. The kiss was passionate though brief, the demon lord pulling away and smirking softly against his mates' lips.

"He will not spar." The two looked to the owner of the voice, Inuyasha feeling a bit apprehensive at seeing Lady Kimi. Though she had not tried to harm in anyway, he still very much felt he was not welcome in her presence.

Then again, he was sure she wasn't expecting her only son to get with him of all people. He frowned slightly at her demand however, trying not to huff in annoyance.

"He will be gentle with me," Inuyasha replied, Sesshomaru raising an eyebrow but not commenting further. Lady Kimi frowned, crossing her arms loosely in front of her.

"The answer is still no. Son or not, you will not put my first grandchild in harms way." Inuyasha tsked, rolling his eyes as took a step back from Sesshomaru. Her seeing them together always made him feel weird, as if he was violating something.

"However, you can devote your time to helping me set up your ceremony. Your union will be official soon." Inuyasha looked up to Sesshomaru, the demon lords' eyes baring into his own.

He was going to marry Sesshomaru.

He was going to be his Lady, not his concubine.

The old part of me would not admit happiness towards that, though the part that loved Sesshomaru rejoiced. He loved the idea that one day he was going to be seen as the Lady of the West, and that his pup would be recognized as Sesshomaru's legitimate heir.

"Mother, if you may excuse us," Sesshomaru told her breezily, leading Inuyasha out of the garden and back into the castle. Lady Kimi raised an eyebrow but did not follow, merely tilting her head before walking in the opposite direction.

Inuyasha let himself be led into their room, trying hard not to show that a part of him was nervous. He shivered when Sesshomaru closed the shoji, meeting the demon's eyes. Sesshomaru's walls were brought down, exposing his desire to the hanyou. The intensity almost made him uncomfortable, though he pushed down the feeling.

He's had sex with this man for god's sake.

This should not make him nervous.

Inuyasha fought the blush that tried to rise up to his cheeks, undoing his obi and letting it fall to the ground. Sesshomaru watched him, his eyes almost predatory in nature. Inuyasha looked away as he opened his kimono, showing his pregnant belly to his mate. Sesshomaru walked over quickly, touching his hands to the folds of the kimono. Inuyasha looked up and met his eyes, feeling his demon react to the desire that waft off the demon lord in waves.

Sesshomaru was hungry for him.

Inuyasha tried to fight back any hesitation as he moved closer and kissed Sesshomaru, the kiss sweet and warm. Sesshomaru forged it deeper however, kissing the hanyou till he was breathless. The demon lord pushed the kimono off his mates' shoulders, satisfied when it pooled around their feet.

Inuyasha raised his own hands to Sesshomaru's obi, losing himself in the kiss as he began the process of disrobing his mate. With practice it had made his fingers quick, and soon a bare chest was presented. Inuyasha splayed his fingers over the broad chest, moving closer to greedily take in the demon's warmth.

Sesshomaru pulled away from the kiss, looking down to Inuyasha's swelling stomach. It was not as noticeable as it would be, the once toned abs now replaced by a small bump. Sesshomaru touched his hand to the evidence of his growing pup, kissing Inuyasha a bit more gently. Inuyasha felt his cheeks heat up again, his eyes meeting Sesshomaru's.

Would his two conflicting souls ever find peace?