Ch. 242

Whose wonderful and grand idea had this been? Starscream thought this question loudly to himself in his helm as he wheezed an intake and scrabbled to balance himself up a steep incline by the generous branch of an old, weathered tree. He thought about it strongly, in different and varying tones of imagined voices, before looking ahead and finding enough cycled air to make the question verbal.

"Wh- who," he managed, "whose idea... was-" he almost slipped, dirt and stone fleeing from under his sharp peds as he found footing again and frowned, "whose brilliant idea," he added, "was this?"

"Yours," Optimus responded without hesitation.

Starscream's wings flicked down as Optimus paused in his climb just ahead of him; the larger mech braced himself against a lower ledge before turning back to smile at the seeker, "If you would prefer to stop now and head back-"

"No!" Starscream answered shrilly, lifting himself around boulders up to his chest plate and scuttling in the grooves left by Optimus's large ped prints to ensure strong footing, "No, no... I said this was a good idea..." he tried not to sigh, "I'd... like to see it through."

The Prime nodded simply, "Very well," he encouraged, "but if your perspective has changed, Starscream, there is no fault in admitting to it and deciding against continuing on."

The smaller mech struggled not to jump at the chance to end their journey so soon after it had begun. Part of his recovery was to stretch his boundaries. At least, he felt it needed to be so. Test his limitations and stress, as it were... And climbing the side of a large mountain? Not the worst thing in the world. Certainly not for two alien beings looking to explore their surroundings. The bitter taste of something laced with nostalgia spread at the back of his throat and Starscream stopped when he finally made it to Optimus's side, shaking his helm.

"I need to sit."

"Starscream, are you-"

"I'll talk about it in a moment, but I need to sit," he exhaled softly, "I feel nauseous..."

Optimus nodded again before pulling himself up to a deeper ledge in the side of the mountain. He reached down and helped Starscream climb up with him before the pair sat and turned their gaze out onto the lake and trees so far away...

"I'm fine," Starscream spoke before Optimus could inquire about his condition, "Just... memories and all that..."

"Bad ones?"

"Hm... Well, I don't know," the seeker admitted, pulling a leg back from over the ledge so he could rest his arm more comfortably around his knee, "It's from a long time back... Prewar memory..."

Optimus hung his helm gently, "I see..."

"... Archivist, correct?"

The Prime smiled before looking up at the forming clouds above, "Yes. Before the Matrix chose Orion Pax, he was an archivist."

Starscream's helm cocked to the side curiously, "Are you not one in the same? Orion is, was, I suppose, you. You then became Optimus Prime. Or is that not how it works?"

Optimus's smile grew, "I am not sure how to describe it, Starscream," his servo came up to rest on his chest plate, "Becoming a Prime gives so much. But I fear it takes quite a bit away as well."

The seeker shook his helm, "Oh no, I can tell you it doesn't."

Optimus looked to the smaller mech, "It does not?"

Starscream shrugged and let his helm fall back as he took in a much needed intake of chilling air, "Back in the... place I came from, when you became Orion Pax again..." he paused and grumbled, "But maybe that doesn't apply here being a separate dimension or universe or... whatever..."

"It sounds as though," Optimus began gently, "my plan to use the Matrix of Leadership to quell Unicron had been previously used. And you saw the impact of doing such a thing."

The seeker shrugged again, "Maybe."

"And this is why you believe that I am far more connected to this former version of myself than I have admitted until now?"

"Well... what do I really know?" Starscream finally huffed, dangling his peds out into the open air as he looked away, "All I knew then was that you spoke differently. The way you stood, the way you looked at everything. You looked very much like Optimus Prime, but it was a... far younger version of you asking me questions and calling yourself 'Orion Pax'."

Optimus hummed, "Yes, your video detailed part of that experience... I am sor-"

"I was thinking about a friend of mine," Starscream interrupted, "... A friend I had once. We..." he stopped as he tried to find the words, "... I wasn't always so shut away..."

"I do not doubt this for a moment, Starscream," Optimus said quietly.

The smaller mech began to nervously flick his wings, "I wasn't encouraged in the endeavors I sought back then. He was all I had for a time..."

"May I... interrupt?"

"Please. End this torture and add anything else."

"Was this mech someone you considered a great resource of support? Someone you could talk to about anything?"

Starscream felt the pit of nausea throw wave after wave throughout his frame, his legs and arms beginning to feel weak, "Yes... We spoke everyday..."

Optimus leaned forward a little to catch Starscream's gaze as he spoke, "Starscream?" he said gently, "I am glad that you knew kindness in your earlier years. You have always been deserving of that."

The seeker was hesitant to return optic contact, a heaviness in his spark beginning to outweigh the nausea, "... I... was in school..." he whispered, "to study science..."

Optimus smiled softly, "In Iacon?"

Starscream nodded, "Um... L-looking back," he struggled, "I'm not sure how good of a decision it was... It was hard. I was the only pure seeker there. And, given the times..."

He trailed off and Optimus's smile slowly vanished, "You were not treated well."

"No," Starscream shook his helm, "And when I complained about my stolen works... destroyed property..." he sighed, "the physical threats and harm... I was written off as just another over-the-top seeker," the mech frowned as he let his optics settle on nothing and his digits gripped into the ledge beneath him, "Skyfire never thought that..."

"May I ask," Optimus began carefully, "about any of this?"

The seeker shook his helm again, "No, I'm just going to tell you," he cleared his throat, "Um... Sk-Sky...f..." he began struggling again and felt his grip increase, "... He was a shuttle class. Massive. I don't know what he saw in me, but he was the only one who would partner up with me for lab work. I wasn't allowed accommodations, so he shared his with me. He worked for the school," Starscream explained, "shuttling around the students wherever they wanted to go. In exchange for hardly any pay, mind you, so they allowed him to take a few classes to make up for it. ... He was very patient," the mech's voice began to whisper, "and... I know what finally drove us apart but..."

He couldn't say more. He needed a moment. Optimus waited quietly and watched as the clouds above began to turn from white to gray as they compacted together.

"... Orion... I," Optimus rephrased, "had someone close before I became a Prime."

Starscream's optics finally managed to look up at the larger mech, noting the heaviness in his faceplates as he joined in remembering from so long ago, "Her name was Elita-1. She was strong willed, passionate and kind. But she did not live long enough as the war progressed to see Cybertron go dark..." he sighed heavily, "I have been grateful for that much."

Starscream felt his optics warm with tears, "Optimus, I'm sorry..."

The Prime's smile returned, but it was weak and lifeless, "Thank you, Starscream," he murmured, "I do not know how you and Skyfire came to part, but I hope that it was not due to this war we have fought in."

The seeker shook his helm, "My own stupidity most likely..."

"You do not have to continue speaking of this if it distresses you."

Starscream almost snorted, "Oh, it's distressing but all I can think of right now is talking about it..." he fidgeted where he sat, "... The bullying, the harassment... stunted me," he put it mildly, then frowned and growled out, "No, it destroyed me," he huffed, "It made me question myself down to the very core of my being and Skyfire was struggling himself at the time, too. He had a lot of his own problems and I'm sure my pain didn't exactly help him cope. But out of nowhere he suggested we go to an airshow, of all things, something he could never do and something he knew I had no time or interest in. And we went," the bite in his voice weakened, "We were just supposed to watch them all flying... but I got lost when I was walking around the stadium and I... that was where we met and I'm... I'm more than sure that meeting them was what started to pull us apart..."

"... Starscream? Who were they?"

"U... um... M-my trine. Skywarp and Thundercracker."