Surprise! It's not abandoned! Thank you to everyone who is still here! Sorry for the wait. I really just got caught up in life and forgot about it for ages. But I'm back now (at least for this chapter).
We once again left land and sailed towards lands unknown. This time, however, the journey was very unpleasant. We were caught in a very aggressive storm. The rain and weather forced many of us belowdecks. I went on deck as often as I could, but the adjusted schedule made sure that no one was on deck for long periods of time. This was because of the danger of being swept overboard, but also because of how easy it was to get sick in the cold.
After two weeks in the storm, Captain Drinian called all the royals for a meeting. We all leaned over the table in the middle room where the large map rested. "So we're stuck here," Drinian said, pointing to a spot in the middle of the ocean, "at half-rations, with food and water for two more weeks, maximum." He looked up from the map and met the eyes of each of us. "This is your last chance to turn back, Your Majesties.
"There's no guarantee we'll spot the Blue Star anytime soon. Not in this storm. Needle in a haystack, trying to find this Ramandu place. We could sail right past it and off the edge of the world. Or get eaten by a sea serpent." I scoffed inwardly. Sea serpents? Surely they were the stuff of legend.
"I'm just saying the men are getting nervous," Drinian continued, "These are strange seas we're sailing...the likes of which I've never seen before." I had to admit that Drinian made some good points. There was no guarantee that we weren't sailing to our deaths. The booming of the thunder outside didn't help soothe my worries.
"Then perhaps, Captain," Caspian said, drawing everyone's attention, "You'd like to be the one to explain to Mr. Rhince that we're abandoning the search for his family." Drinian's eyes dropped Caspian's.
"I'll get back to it." Drinian made his way to the door, "Just a word of warning," He looked back at us right before exiting, "The sea can play nasty tricks on the crew's mind. Very nasty." With that, he left.
I caught Caspian's attention before he could leave. "Can I talk to you for a second?" I asked. Caspian nodded and Lucy and Edmund took their leave. I shot Edmund a quick smile, which he returned. We hadn't had much time to talk since the storm started. I made a mental note to visit him later.
"You okay, Courtney?" My brother asked.
My mask of calm crumbled. "I don't know. I don't know what to make of any of this. What if Drinian's right? What if this is a fool's errand and there's nowhere to go? Are we dooming ourselves and the rest of the crew to death? Are we—" Caspian wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, like I was a small child again. I leaned into his embrace.
"I've had the exact same thoughts. I've questioned my decisions many times over. But we have to keep going. We have to believe Ramandu to stop this evil from taking over our world. If we don't…" He trailed off.
I removed myself from Caspian's arms and took a deep breath. "You're right. Of course. How did you get so smart?"
"Thanks. It's the family trauma."
The statement was so random and outlandish, especially coming from my brother and his deadpan delivery. I couldn't help myself. I burst out laughing. Caspian soon joined me. I laughed until my ribs hurt before I forced myself to stop. "Thank you," I said, "I really needed that."
"I did too," Caspian responded. "I've missed you."
"So have I." I sighed. "But we both have a job to do."
"Speaking of, I should get back to it."
"So should I. I'll see you later."
"Bye." After the goodbye, we both had to walk up the same stairs together in awkward silence until we went our separate ways.
That night, I got ready for bed normally. My room, which had started as just my own, had grown with the additions of Lucy and Gale. It usually felt homey and comfortable with the three of us there together. But it felt cramped. Something was off.
I closed my eyes. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. I should have fallen asleep immediately like I did every other night. Instead, my thoughts consumed me. What if the lords were long dead? What if we couldn't beat whatever this was? What if we failed whatever test we were going to come across? What if we were leading this entire crew to their deaths? What if my brother died? What if, what if, what if?
"Courtney," A familiar voice called. My eyes shot open. In front of me was the face of Edmund. "Courtney, join me. Leave with me. We can run away from here and be together. We won't need anyone else, just each other. Free from responsibility, free from authority." He reached out his hand. "Just take my hand."
I hesitated. It was only for a fraction of a second, but I hesitated. For that moment, I considered leaving everyone and everything I loved behind for one person. No duties, no responsibilities, just us. But then my head cleared. Edmund would never ask that of me. I had only just gotten to know him again after three years, but I knew him well enough. "He" was nothing more than green smoke, the same mist that took all those people back on the island of slavers.
"Never," I spat. "Never." The mist of Edmund's face shrieked and dissipated. I exhaled fully, deflating.
I heard movement in the room and my hand instinctively grasped the knife under my pillow. A figure stepped into the low light trickling in from the moon through the window. I let go of my knife. It was just Lucy.
"Lucy," I whispered, "Everything okay?" I had no way of telling the time but it was late, far later than either of us ever stayed up.
"Bad dreams," she responded at the same volume, not wanting to wake up Gale. "I can't sleep."
"Me neither." A quick peak confirmed that Gale was still sleeping peacefully.
"I was going to head to my brother's room. I do it at home sometimes when I can't sleep. Want to join me?"
I too wanted to see my brother. But the reason for it was Lucy's brother. I didn't know if I could face him. I inwardly debated for a second, but, in the end, the idea of comfort won over my awkwardness. I followed Lucy.
When we got to Caspian and Edmund's room, we didn't exactly have the friendliest welcome. Edmund was waving his sword around, fighting invisible enemies. "Edmund?" Lucy called. He snapped out of it.
"Lucy?"
Their conversation continued, but I had decided that I was going to avoid Edmund for as long as possible. Instead, I went to Caspian, who had woken up during the action.
"You okay?" He asked.
I gave a tight-lipped smile. "I'm fine." The look he sent me in the dim light clearly conveyed his disbelief in my answer. "I will be fine," I amended. Caspian accepted that, but I knew he would ask me about it later. And I would tell him, eventually.
Caspian climbed out of his hammock and wrapped his arms around me. At that moment, nothing else existed. The Pevensie siblings' conversation faded. All my worries dissolved. My encounter with Edmund—the mist—washed away. Even the rocking ship went still. It was just me and my older brother, safe.
After a while, we returned to the present, to the moment. The four of us turned to each other and unconsciously formed a circle. "We're all having nightmares," Edmund started. "So either we're all going mad…"
"Or something is playing with our minds," I finished. We exchanged looks. None of us liked the idea of our minds being manipulated, mere playthings to whatever or whoever that mist was.
Caspian was the first to leave the circle. "We should try to get some sleep." He settled back into his hammock. "If there is something out there, we need to be ready for it."
With that, our impromptu royalty meeting concluded. Edmund went back to his hammock and Lucy and I headed back to our room. We walked in silence, both caught up in our own thoughts.
I laid back in my hammock and stared at the ceiling above me. The questions I had before continued to circle in my head. I don't know about Lucy, but it was a long time until I fell into an uneasy sleep.
The next day brought something that felt like it was in short supply; hope. The storm had broken. Sunlight streaked through the last remaining clouds. Everyone was on the deck, even those who had no reason to be there or had duties belowdecks. No one could bring themselves to tell them to go back. Two weeks in a storm was nothing out of the ordinary for sailors, but this had seemed much more malicious than a typical storm.
One of the men had brought his lute and played a jolly tune. We danced. We were all aware of our responsibilities, but they could wait for a little. Eventually, we ended our celebration and returned to our duties.
Mid-afternoon brought another symbol of hope; a sighting of land. Naturally, everyone wanted to go on land. But we could only take 7 men, plus myself, Caspian, Reepicheep, Lucy, Edmund, and, sadly, Eustace. As much as I and I'm sure others would have liked to leave him behind, the best place for him was with his cousins. Where they went, he did as well.
I had mostly been able to avoid Eustance since that first day when he complained about being rescued. But on our rowboat of six, it was impossible to avoid him. Or to tune out his endless whining. I had hoped that it was out-of-character on that first day. Wishful thinking gets you nowhere. It was a short ride, but apparently it was too long for the boy. I don't know how Reepicheep was able to keep his calm around the boy. The expanse of patience that mouse had was honestly impressive. I was already prepared to throw Eustace off the boat.
When we got to shallow waters, we jumped out of the rowboats and pulled them ashore. "Take your men and search for food and water," Caspian said to the man in charge in our stead. The man nodded and gathered the men to relay the orders. "The four of us will search for clues to see if the lords passed this way."
"Hang on," Eustace said, "you mean the five of us." I looked at Caspian in exasperation. "Come on, don't send me back to the rat.'
The rat in question responded, "I heard that."
"Big ears," Eustace muttered.
"I heard that too." Like I said, endless patience.
While the men finished unloading and securing the boats, the five of us—to my great disappointment—began our search.
Within minutes, I noticed Eustace sneaking around, terribly, behind some of the rock formations. I considered calling him back, but instead shrugged. I was fine without him. If he got lost, that would be his own fault. He was old enough to go off on his own if he so chose. He could live with any consequences of his own actions.
Caspian, who was leading our group, called out. "Look," he gestured to a rope tied to a rock that descended into a cavern, "we're not the first ones here."
"The lords?" Edmund asked.
"Could be." Caspian dropped a rock into the hole. We watched it fall. "What do you think could be down there?"
"Let's find out."
Again, so sorry for being MIA for 2 years. I promise this will be finished one day. It might be next month. It might be in 4 years. But it will be done eventually.