AN: Zuko's turn for POV. This Chapter is a lot shorter than usual. But to be fair there's only so much time I can spend inside Zuko's head. Reminder, I still don't own ATLA.
Chapter Eight: The War
I woke up to a pounding on my door and then to a pounding in my head. What was in that Water Tribe acid Katara had forced me to drink?
"Zuko get your ass up or you're going to miss the meeting." Great, Lu Ten was back. And I was late for a meeting with Fire Lord and his Generals. I slid out of bed, trying to fight the pain throbbing through my skull.
"Cool it, I'm coming." I pulled on my clothes as fast as possible, stuffing myself into the stiff armor. After spending last night in commoner clothes, I had newly realized disdain for proper royal dress code.
"Wow, I hope you don't feel as bad as you look." Lu Ten welcomed me when I opened the door. I stomped past him, pulling my hair into a topknot as I walked.
"I do."
"Have a little too much fun last night Zuko?" I didn't need to see his face to know that he was smugly smirking at my hungover state, but I wasn't interested in entertaining Lu Ten's prying this morning.
"I'll take that as a yes." Apparently, he took my silence as an invitation to talk more.
"You know, I heard the Solstice festival can get pretty wild. Maybe one of these years I'll come play commoner with you." I don't know if he realized he said that every year, but I had the suspicion that he would never dare to actually set foot in somewhere so filthy with peasants.
"You know there's something else I heard, apparently, when you and Princess Katara returned from the festival, you seemed to be very… comfortable. Is it safe to say the Water Tribe girl has finally bewitched you?" Why couldn't anyone learn to mind their own business? I was sick of feeling spied on all the time in this damned palace.
"It's none of your business Lu." For once, I wished I could hurry up and get to the meeting I was allegedly late too. Which seemed unlikely because Lu Ten would never dare be late to something regarding our military or our grandfather.
When we reached the war chamber my grandfather's generals were already seated, but my grandfather himself had yet to arrived. Thank Agni, my stomach was currently in no condition to handle the wrath of the Fire Lord. I took a seat in between my father and Azula. There were few things I could do that truly got under my sister's skin, but being the eldest, and therefore earning the seat at the right hand of our father, was one of the things that I knew she couldn't stand. The glare in her eye as I sat down reconfirmed this.
The Fire Lord entered and I felt a cold chill run through me, the one I got whenever Azulon and I were in the same room. The meeting began but I was paying little attention. For a country with a dormant military, Azulon spent a lot of hours in his war chamber, discussing with his generals. Mostly, it was too keep up appearances, he didn't want anyone believing that his military had gone soft. I was used to sitting in silence as a bunch of old men speculated about ways to defend against attacks that would never come.
"The Earth Kingdom has becoming increasingly difficult to work with regarding trade exports." One of my father's Generals, Shinu, commented. They had been saying this for years, as if the stubbornness of the Earth Kingdom was anything new.
"Relations with the Earth Kingdom have always been strained, our diplomats our doing everything they can to make sure we get the resources we need from the Earth Kingdom." Iroh mentioned how in the past year alone we had transferred over twenty high ranking men to the Capitals of various Earth Kingdom trade hubs, to negotiate smoother trade relations.
Diplomats like Mai's father.
"That may be the case, but the Earth Kingdom is growing more defiant every day, maybe it is time we use stronger methods when dealing with the Earth Kingdom." My father spoke up.
"Brother, surely you aren't suggesting that we involve the military in trade negotiations with the Earth Kingdom?" Iroh was always quick to point out the truth behind my father's subtleties.
"Precisely, we have been trying to negotiate peacefully with the Earth Kingdom for decades, it is becoming clear that they do not respond to civilized tactics, perhaps they will respond better to a forced hand." Maybe they aren't responding well because we've been sucking their resources dry for the past hundred years.
"Besides, now that we have procured an alliance with the Water Tribes, now is the perfect time to send reinforcements." I had to keep from snorting out loud. As if they Water Tribes would ever get involved in our war efforts. My father didn't usually say such stupid things.
"The Water Tribes are notorious for keeping to themselves when it comes to matters of International conflict, it may be too early to be testing the loyalty of our new friends in the North." At least Iroh knew better.
"I'm sure once reminded of how well we have cared for their beloved princess they will not hesitate to offer their alliance in order to assure that care continues." I felt my blood begin to boil at the connotation behind my father's words. I clenched my fists. If I didn't know any better, if I was younger, I might have spoken up, protested my father's words. But I knew better than to speak against Generals in my Grandfather's war room. Over the years, I had seen what happens to men who speak up against their ranks, and I did not want to be one of them.
"Enough." Azulon's voice brought silence in the war room.
"Our alliance with the Water Tribes was created to foster a good relationship with the Poles, and avoid any potential conflict. I should not need to remind you that despite their primitive ways, the Northern Water Tribe has a very formidable Navy, and if they felt that we had in any way put one of their own in danger they would not hesitate to retaliate. And that is an enemy we do not want at our shores." Cold as the Fire Lord may be, at least he knew when a battle wasn't worth fighting.
"However, I agree that something must be done in regard to the Earth Kingdom, but we must be very careful with how we proceed, if we behave too brashly and with too much force we may find ourselves in a full blown war between our Nations. We should consider our many options before a decision is made. And it is best that we hold off any decisions until after our friend the Avatar has left our soil." Azulon's voice was final. There was nothing more to be discussed. I was thanking the spirits that Azulon was no a rash decision maker.
After the meeting adjourned I returned to my room, wanting nothing more than to collapse into sleep.
As the day passed, my Father's words festered in the back of my mind, making me sick. By the time dinner came I could hardly stand to look at Katara, or my father, knowing what he had suggested only hours earlier.
"Is the steak too hot for you Katara? I could have the chefs prepare something else." My mother asked, taking note of how Katara had hardly touched her meal. Katara flushed when she realized that others were taking notice of her.
"Oh no, actually I think I am finally adjusting to the Fire Nation palate, my stomach is just feeling a little out of sorts." Well at least I wasn't the only one sick to my stomach.
"Well if there is anything else you would like let me know and I will have Rajo prepare it for you."
"Thank you Ursa, you have been very accommodating to me, it means a lot."
"Yes, our family has gone out of our way to make sure you are as comfortable as possible." Azula interjected, glancing slyly at our father. I think I actually was going to be sick.
"Wouldn't you agree Zuzu? Katara has been so well treated. I hope we can continue to provide her with the best of care." I jet out of my chair, too quick to think about the scene I was making.
"Sorry, you'll have to excuse me, I have matters to attend to." I stormed out before my mother could tell me to sit back down. I marched down the hall, I had to get out of this damned palace.
"Zuko!" I heard her yell from behind me, but I didn't stop.
"Zuko what is wrong with you." She grabbed my arm, I didn't realize she had caught up to me so fast.
"Leave me alone Katara, this doesn't concern you. Go back to dinner."
"No." No? Who did she think she was?
"Zuko tell me what's wrong."
"You wouldn't understand Katara." I couldn't tell her. There's no way she would take 'my father wants to use you as military leverage' well. I pushed her off me and kept walking.
"You don't know that." I whipped around to face her. Her shoulders scrunched, startled by my abruptness. I grabbed her wrist, keeping her hand from touching me.
"Yes. I do." I let her go, walking away before she had a chance to follow. How could she understand? She didn't have a monster as a father.
Two days had past and I couldn't stop thinking about what my father had said in that meeting. Part of me wished I hadn't gone at all. At least then I wouldn't have to know about it. I angrily ripped off another piece of bread and chucked it into the pond.
"...and then he walked right off the bridge into the water! He wouldn't even drink seaweed wine after. Zuko? Are you listening to me?" Right, Katara was talking to me. Something about her brother drinking some exotic Earth Kingdom juice.
"Of course, Sokka, Cactus Juice, falling off bridges." Katara rolled her eyes at me and hoisted herself up onto her forearms, her dark hair falling over her shoulders behind her.
"Zuko you're distracted, what on earth is going on with you?" Her eyes widened and focused on me, as if she was trying to read my thoughts.
"Nothing. I'm fine." I didn't want to worry her with our politics.
"Is this about what happened the other night? After the festival? I'm sorry if that was crossing a line." What happened after the festival? Oh right, Between the liquor and the unfortunate events of the next morning, I had nearly forgotten.
"No, not at all." I had hardly had time to think about her kissing me since the war meeting. Not that it wasn't something worth thinking about, the way I remembered it, well it was definitely worth remembering.
"Really? Because the other day you couldn't even look at me, and then you stormed out halfway through dinner and spent all yesterday sulking in your room." Did she really believe I would be acting so erratic over a drunken kiss?
"This isn't about you Katara, my father wants to start a damn war." As the bread left my hand it caught on fire, creating a flaming ball that plunged into the middle of the pond, scaring all the turtle ducks away. I looked at Katara, who was staring at me in shock and maybe fear. I hadn't meant to yell at her, I hadn't even meant to tell her, it had just happened.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" I looked around the garden, noticing the random servants walking about, all of them ears ready to listen. "Let's go on a walk." I hopped to my feet and extended my hand which she took. I looped my arm around hers, guiding her away from the main garden. Once we were out of earshot I swallowed my tongue, cringing at what I was about to tell her.
"My dad wants to use our military to enforce trade with the Earth Kingdom, and he wants to use your people as reinforcement. That's what I was upset about yesterday." I tried to read her thoughts as her expression changed from scared, to confused, to… something else.
"But, the four nations have spent the past 80 years trying to avoid another war. Why would the Fire Lord put that peace at jeopardy?"
"He wouldn't, at least not yet. Grandfather seems hesitant to rush into anything, but my father can be very persuasive." Azulon had been born into his own father's war, he had seen the cost of it, but that didn't mean that given the right incentive he wouldn't be willing to pay that price again.
"That doesn't make any sense, after Sozin's war the Earth Kingdom increased their military power tenfold, Prince Ozai can't think that he could launch an attack and win, at least not without serious detriments to the Fire Nation." Sometimes I forgot that Katara was just as much royalty as I was, and that she was probably just as well versed in international politics as I was.
"My Father believes that the alliance with your people will guarantee they will come to our aid and fight with us if it becomes necessary." Or rather, he knew he could blackmail them into complying.
"That's ridiculous! I've read through the treaty, it specifically says that our nations are at no obligation to assist in the event of war. The closest thing to it is the promise to accept refugees in the event of an attack, but that's a long shot from aiding in battle. Arnook would never agree to that." She's read the treaty? I guess it would make sense that she had. I realized I should probably get on that.
"I know that. My father knows that, but he's made it clear that he is willing to force the Water Tribes' hands if it becomes necessary." I was feeling sick to my stomach again.
"What does that mean? The Water Tribes don't rely on the Fire Nation for any major resources, it's not like they could withhold goods from us." I would rather be swimming in the boiling lake right now, than letting Katara in on the secret of just how horrible my father was, it would be less painful.
"No, but we do have the daughter of a Chief in our care. My father believes that both the North and South would do whatever necessary to ensure her safety." I was jerked to a stop by Katara.
"What?" Katara nearly shrieked.
"Zuko please tell me that's a poor attempt at a joke."
"I wish I could" I turned to look at her, trying to read her expression, but it was just, blank.
"I think I'm going to be sick. I was right about you people." She finally said.
"What?" I could see the tears welling in her eyes.
"I thought I could get past all the violence from our past, but I can't. This place is still full of evil. I can't stay here." Dammit, I should have kept my mouth shut.
"What? No!" But wasn't that what I wanted? For Katara to leave and this wedding to disappear? At least it's what I thought I wanted.
"We have to call it off, I will not put my people in that position. My father will be here in a few days, I can leave with him. He'll understand." She couldn't leave, I was fooling myself if I thought that her leaving would make everything go back to normal. Mai was never coming back. And Katara was fooling herself if she thought that she could back out on the treaty with no repercussions from the Fire Nation.
"Katara no, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything. You don't have to worry about my father."
"I don't have to worry about your father?" Her voice grew angry. "Your father who is threatening to, to I don't even know what, in order to force my family's hand in a needless war? Your father who is so terrifying that his own son is too scared to talk to him? That's the man I shouldn't be afraid of? I am alone in a foreign land surrounded by powerful people with no regard for anyone but themselves. I should be terrified Zuko." Her anger faltered in tears. I grabbed her shoulders with my hands. I could see in her eyes that she was trying to be strong, but she was losing the battle.
"My father is powerless without the Fire Lord. He's not even a general. He can't do anything without Azulon's blessing. My grandfather is a lot of things, but he is not stupid. He does not discount his enemies and he knows that if anything happened to you the Water Tribe would come down full force. Not to mention the Avatar is at our doorstep. You may not have faith in me or my people but you must have faith in him, Aang will protect you. No matter what." She looked unconvinced.
"So please, don't call off the wedding. In case you haven't noticed you're sort of my only friend." She didn't say anything. Not for a long time. She just stared at me, I could see the wheels turning in her head. I couldn't blame her for wanting to leave. If it were me I'd be halfway home by now. I was just hoping she was braver than I was. Otherwise I might have to get down on my knees and beg. And that wasn't the kind of humiliation I felt like enduring today.
"Fine. I'll stay. But if anything happens-" I pulled her against my chest, cutting her off. She was going to stay. Thank Agni.
"It won't. If anyone tries to lay a hand on you I will personally make sure they learn a lesson they won't forget." I let her go, I couldn't bear to see her eyes red and puffy as she used the edge of her sleeve to dry them. I wondered, if someone really did try to hurt her, if I would be able to hold myself back.
"So how do we stop this war?" She asked, as if she hadn't just been crying. I doubt I'd ever figure out how she was capable of changing emotions so quickly.
"We don't do anything. We just have to hope that Azulon decides not to take my father's advice."
"Do you think he will?" The odds weren't good, my father had a knack for being especially persuasive.
"It's hard to tell, the generals seem split on the idea. My Uncle seems to be against the idea, which is good, hopefully he will get Sozin to see the lunacy in this plan."
"Your Uncle seems different from your father and the Fire Lord, what happened?"
"He met the Avatar. Azulon and the Avatar really were friends." Or so I had been told. "And as Azulon's heir, he wanted Iroh to have the best training possible. Azulon thought that being trained by the Avatar would give Iroh's bending an advantage, most firebender's only learn to fight against other firebenders, but to be able to fight the Avatar, you had to defend against all four types of bending. So Iroh spent his early years traveling with Aang, according to my father, people began to think that Iroh would never return to the Fire Nation."
"So why did he?"
"I guess Azulon got tired of Iroh running around the globe with the Avatar so he ordered him to come home. I think that's part of the reason they aren't friends anymore." But I never really bought the story of young Azulon befriending the last airbender and turning against his own people and blood.
"Aang told me it was a difference in political beliefs."
"Well that's probably true too." Aside from a few of my family members, no one ever spoke particularly high of the Avatar. He wasn't known for responding well when he didn't get his way. When my father refused to train with him he disappeared for nearly a decade. When Sozin wouldn't bend to his demands, he killed him. And the threat always remained, if Azulon didn't do as he wished, he would kill him too.
"What's he like?" Of course, I knew what Aang was like on the surface, he was bubbly and childish, and idealistic borderlining on delusional. On the outside, he was the world's kind savior. But no one was that good, not really.
"Aang?"
"You're with him almost every day. Is he really as bad as my father makes him sound?" Or as good as my Uncle seemed to believe.
"Well I don't know Zuko, I don't exactly have long, involved conversations with Prince Ozai about the Avatar." I glared at her, an intimidation method she was clearly immune to.
"No." She laughed. "He's not bad at all. He's actually amazing. Sure, he's old and probably has a couple screws loose, but he is so wise. Everything in his life was taken from him, and yet he has still devoted his life to the very people who destroyed it. I've never met someone so kind and selfless in my life. But actually, if you want to know what he's like, you should go talk to him, see for yourself. Besides, waterbending isn't the only element he's a master of, I'm sure he could teach you a thing or two about firebending if you asked." Apparently, Katara believed the same as my Uncle.
"You want me to take firebending lessons from the Avatar?" My father would have a field day with that. Although, I didn't really care what he thought of me at this point.
"Well you don't have to do anything you don't want to Zuko. But it might be enlightening." I told her I'd think about it, but I didn't think I actually would.
Apparently, I didn't know myself very well. I thought as I stood outside the Avatar's chambers. I wasn't sure if the Avatar would have anything useful to teach me, but after being pummeled by Azula that morning I thought he might know something she didn't.
I inhaled slowly, knocking on the Avatar's door. I waited, and waited, and no one was answering. Well, if he wasn't there I might as well give up. I turned to walk away, when the large door swung open.
"Prince Zuko, what a surprise, is there something I can help you with?" He didn't sound surprised at all.
"Avatar Aang" I stuttered, I should have prepared this more, "I was wondering if you could spare a few minutes to uh- well I was hoping, if you had time, I would be honored if you could take a look at my bending." Good job Zuko, that came out super eloquent. The Avatar smirked at me, as if he was mocking me in his mind.
"Katara said you might ask me this, I'm glad you finally decided to take her advice." Of course, Katara couldn't keep her mouth shut even if she wanted to.
"So, is that a yes?" Or did he want me to grovel more?
"Of course! It would be my pleasure. Meet me in the back courtyard at high noon."
The Avatar's lesson was nothing spectacular or out of the ordinary. He was fairly straight forward. He was a gentler teacher than I was used to, but when I followed his suggestions, my bending worked the way it was supposed to.
"You're an excellent bender, Prince Zuko, your techniques, it shows that you spend a lot of time practicing." I scoffed, I was quite a few marks off "excellent."
"But, it's clear that your bending comes from a place of fear and anger, you're an anxious bender, the best advice I can give you is to try and find a different motivation for your bending." Different motivation, easy to say when Azula's lightning hasn't been your primary teacher.
"However, I get the feeling you didn't come to me because you wanted bending advice."
"Why else would I be here?"
"Well I'm not sure Prince Zuko, why don't you tell me." Because Katara told me to. That wasn't a very princely answer, I shouldn't be following the instructions of some water tribe girl.
As if that was all she was.
"Katara thought you might be able to teach me something I didn't already know."
"Something about your bending, or something about me?"
"Both."
"Zuko, do you believe you are a good bender?" Of course not, Azula was the good bender, she was the best bender. I was just subpar.
"The biggest deficit to your bending is that you don't believe you can be great. Every great bender shares one thing in common, they are confident in their power. If you want to be great you have to believe you already are." That's it?
"That's it? That's your big advice? I've tried that, it just doesn't click like it does, like it does…"
"For your sister?"
"Yeah."
"Your sister, is a great bender. So few are born with that kind of natural talent. But there are many paths to greatness young prince."
"But it certainly helps, life would be a lot easier if I had been born lucky like her."
"You think being born a talented bender makes you lucky?"
"It certainly doesn't hurt your luck."
"Is that so? You know I was quite the bending prodigy myself. And on top of being an airbending master at twelve, I was also the avatar. But none of that mattered when the terrors of life came knocking."
"You're talking about Sozin's War aren't you?"
"That's what we liked to call it, ten years of fighting, all blamed on one person. But you're right. I won't spoil your afternoon with the horrors of the Ten Year War. But I can tell you that many great benders lost their lives because they were not lucky. And no amount of natural talent could have saved them."
"But not you." Somehow, the Avatar had managed to evade the genocide of his people and live in hiding for ten years while a war raged on around him. I felt a bitter taste in my mouth, the one I got whenever I thought about the Old Airbenders. The Fire Nation's biggest disgrace. The ugly scar on our Nation's 'great' history.
"Not me, but not because I was lucky, but because I was young and selfish, I was running from my responsibilities. Nothing good can ever come from running from your destiny. And maybe if I had stayed with my people, well maybe I would've died with them, maybe not. But I try not to concern myself too much with the what ifs of life."
"Why did you let the war wage on for so long?" I could hardly imagine. There were children who born and died without ever knowing life outside the war.
"I was a child alone in the world. I had no masters, no family. The friends I did have were all off fighting the war. I hid in the South for a long time, while I mastered waterbending. The war had not reached the South yet, and it was easy to pretend it didn't exist." I could see the shame in his eyes. So he wasn't perfect after all, "But eventually the war came for them too. And I couldn't hide any longer."
"But Fire and Earth proved much harder for me. Once I had accepted my destiny, it took years for me to master the last two elements. It was torture knowing that if I could only master them faster I could save the world, but at the same time I was very afraid, afraid of the role I would have to play once I did."
"You mean killing Sozin?"
"Yes. I was taught that our people's ways of pacifism were to be respected at all costs, and that there was always another way. But, I was naive, I couldn't see that by doing nothing, I was letting more and more people die. It was actually your grandfather who helped me see the truth."
"Azulon? Were you and him ever really friends?"
"Yes, although our relationship has always been strained. Your grandfather saw what the war was doing to your people, so many were dying, soldiers, civilians, on all sides. Azulon, above all else, loved his people, and he would go to any lengths to protect them. Even if that meant taking the life of his own father. He was able to make the decision I was too scared to make."
"So you're saying my grandfather pushed you to kill his own father?"
"Well, that had been his intention, eventually I agreed that it was the only option, and the 10 years of death and carnage had to be put to an end. But when push came to shove, it was harder for me to give up my upbringings than I had thought. I nearly let Sozin kill two Avatars. Your grandfather saved me." What was he suggesting? That he didn't kill Sozin?
"What are you saying? That you didn't kill the Fire Lord?" I could hardly believe that he was saying this. Maybe he really was losing his mind in his old age.
"I was not ready then."
"Then who killed him? My grandfather?" To even think such a thing felt treasonous.
"A prince killing his own father? No one would have followed a Fire Lord who had killed his successor, it was my duty to end the war, and ensure that the Fire Nation had a ruler who would respect that balance. The world had to believe that I had the power to restore balance to the world." I didn't know what to believe, he didn't exactly deny it.
"Ah but I'm just an old kook! I'm sure the story's all scrambled in my head by now." he grinned and scratched his bald head. What a terrible liar.
My grandfather, insisted the Avatar was a wise friend. My Uncle thought he was a saint. My father, believed him to be a dangerous murder. My people believed him to be nothing but a washed up old man.
I didn't know what I thought of him.
"If, suppose, my grandfather was to blame for Sozin's death, you would take the blame for him?"
"I will always do what is necessary to protect the ones I love Prince Zuko. You would be wise to do the same for the ones you love, especially Katara."
"I don't love Katara!" I said, almost reflexively. The Avatar just chuckled at me.
"Of course not. Loving your future wife? What an outrageous concept." It wasn't that I didn't love Katara exactly. But I had the suspicion that if I were to have such feelings for her, they wouldn't be quite reciprocated.
"She talks about you a lot. Says you're quick to anger. I can see why." Only when people go around provoking me.
"It seems like you two do more talking than you do bending." Aang laughed.
"She is a great bender too, she is more determined than any student I've ever had. Her dedication will make her a very dangerous bender one day. If I were you I'd try to stay on her good side." I didn't have to be told, I'd seen Katara's bending, and that was before she had a master to train her.
"She is quite…. fierce." That was an understatement. Aang laughed again.
"Yes she is, she reminds me a lot of my wife in that way. She was a fighter too. But with a kind soul. If Arya were still here I think they would have made great friends." No one knew much about the Avatar's wife. She had stayed out of the spotlight, and when she died the Avatar retreated into the Spirit World for a long time.
"You may not love her now young Prince, but you should. A girl like that is worth loving."
He was right. I knew he was. I knew very well that Katara was strong, and beautiful, and deserved far more love than I would probably ever be able to give her. I didn't deserve someone like her. Not when I was still so weighted by my family. Not when I still prayed every night that Mai would come back to me. But if I couldn't love her the way that she deserved, at least I could protect her. After all she had already proven more loyal than my own family.
I looked at the Avatar, withered and wrinkled in his old age. What did it even matter? Who killed Sozin. The message was clear, sometimes water is stronger than blood.
AN: Sorry if my tense is confusing, it was hard because I'm trying to do past tense but Zuko's thoughts are all in present. Which is really messy and sloppy, so I apologize if it's hard to read.
Anyway, stay tuned because next time we will see the arrival of some of our favorite Non-benders. Also, sorry I named Aang's wife after a GOT character….
(psssttttttTTTTT! Review!)