THE WORD NO

Gintoki stood in the living room, breathing heavily with two diapers in his hand. Gintosu and Ginharu sat on the floor naked. They stare at Gintoki, then smile. "Alright. I'm going to ask you two one more time. Get over here, so I can put your diapers on."

"No," Gintosu replied. "What was that?"

"We said no," Ginharu repeated. "Why you little-Get over here!" Gintoki chased after them. The twins stood up and ran around the room laughing. He almost caught them, but they crawled between his legs to get away. The twins ran behind the sofa. "Ginharu, Gintosu. Get over here!" The twins peek behind the couch. "No." They giggle. Gin grit his teeth. "That's it, both of you are going down." He ran towards them. The twins ran while dodging him. Gintoki trips over their toys, flips over the sofa then lands on his back. "Damn it!" The twins laugh at him. "Get your naked ass over here!"

"NO!"

"You can't walk around here naked. It's disturbing." He ran after them again. Gintoki stopped for a minute to breathe. "Damn, why do babies run so fast?" Sonata walks in with a giant spoon in her hand. She looks at the twins. "What the hell? Gintoki. You were supposed to change their diaper 20 minutes ago."

"I'm trying to. These little mini-me's, keep running away."

"Why don't you ask them nicely?"

"Hell no. I'm the Papa. They will do what I tell them to do. Why don't you do it."

"Sure. While I do this, you can go cook."

"Sure, I cook better than you anyway."

"No. Gintosu, Ginharu. Be good, and let Papa put on your diaper. Hurry up, Gin." She kisses him, then walks back to the kitchen. The twins giggle. "Get over here now!"

"No..."

"ARGH! That's it! You better-" Gintoki heard liquid. "What the hell? Hey! What are you-No! No-no-no! Ginharu!"

"Ginharu pee-pee, Papa." Gintosu pointed. "Damn it!"

"Hey! Watch your mouth around them. You still didn't put their diapers on?"

"Ginharu pissed on the floor!"

"Because you took too long." She claps her hands. "You two! Get over here now!" The twins ran to their mother. She puts their diapers on without a problem. "That's how you do it. Oh yeah, here's the swifter. Clean the pee up. Dinner will be ready in twelve minutes."

"Get pee-pee up, Papa." The twins laugh. "You two are going down!" The twins ran away as Gintoki chased after them.

MINE

Sonata, Ginharu, and Gintosu sit in the living room watching TV. Gintoki walks in, looking for an item. "Something wrong?" Sonata asked. "Yeah, have you seen my moped keys?" She shakes her head. "No, I haven't. Did you look in your room?"

"I did, but it's not in there." Gintoki looks towards the couch. Gintosu has it in his hands. "There they are. Gintosu, give Papa his keys."

"No." Sonata and Ginharu laugh. "Why?"

"Mine."

"Oh no," Sonata said. "Oh no, what?"

"The twins are in the MINE phase. Meaning anything they see belongs to them. I doubt it if Gintosu gives back your keys."

"He better. Stop playing Gintosu. Now give Papa his keys."

"No! It's mine." Sonata laughs again. "You think this is funny?"

"I'm sorry, but it's so cute. Especially the way he says mine."

"No, it's not! I'm behind schedule, so I need to go now."

"Maybe you're going somewhere you're not supposed to be. Maybe that's why Gintosu is holding onto your keys."

"You act like I'm going to see strippers or something. I'm going to meet Kagura and Shinpachi. Now make him give me back my keys."

"Ask him nicely."

"I don't have time for that. Gintosu, Papa needs his keys right now."

"No! It's mine!"

"Give them to me."

"No! No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!" He shouts, shaking his head.

"Oi... Sonata!" She laughs. "What...? What do you want me to do? It belongs to him."

"Ugh! I'm sick of this!"

"Ask him nicely, Gintoki." He sigh. "Gintosu. Can you please give Papa back his moped keys? I'm in a hurry. Please hand them over." Gintosu stares at his father, then sticks his tongue out at him. "No," Gintosu told him. "Oh, come on!"

"Let me try, Gintosu. Can you please give mommy's Papa keys?" She asked, kissing him on the cheek. "Come on, hand over Papa's keys." She kisses him again. Gintosu giggles. "Mine..." He laughs. "Come on. You know you want to hand them over." Gintosu laughs as Sonata tickles him. He gives his mother the keys. "Thank you so much... You're a good boy."

She stands up, then drops Gintoki's keys in his hand. "That's is how you do it. Learn from it." She walks over and sits on the couch. "I didn't forget about you, Ginharu." She tickles him while kissing him all over. Ginharu giggles. She plays with her twins. "Thanks. I'll see you three later." Once Gintoki leaves the house. The three of them count down. "Three, two, one."

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Sonata and the twins sit there laughing at him. "Papa wheels pop, mommy," Ginharu said. "Yes, they did. Now Papa can't go nowhere." The twins laugh. "Papa gets what he deserves. He should have never lied to me about going gambling. I heard his whole conversation on the phone this morning."

BAD AS HELL

"Get back here Ginharu," Gintoki said. He chases his son around the house. When Ginharu ran into the bathroom, he walked in to see his son standing by the toilet. "Hey... You better not," he warned. Ginharu shakes his moped keys above the toilet. "Don't!" Ginharu smirks. "Don't you dare!" He drops it in, then flushes. "My keys!"

Ginharu ran away, laughing. Gintoki sticks his hands in the toilet to feel for his keys. "Damn it! Ginharu!" He turns around to see Sonata standing in the doorway with the twins. "Why are you making so much noise?"

"He... Ginharu flushed my keys down the toilet."

"Really? Is this true, Ginharu?" He nods. Sonata bends down. "Sweetly, You did good," she whispered. He smiles as his mother kisses him on the cheek. "Looks like you have to fish it out."

"It's got to be in the sewer by now."

"It's made of metal. I'm sure it's stuck in the pipe. You to remove the toilet." Gintoki sighed. "Fine..."

"Mommy, we have to go potty," the twins said, doing the pee-pee dance. "Well, do that after Ginharu and Gintosu go potty."

Gintoki and Sonata sat on the couch watching TV with their arms around each other. The twins ran around the house playing tag. When she turned her head, they heard glass breaking. "What the?" She gets up to see the twins standing next to a broken vase. "Are you two hurt? No boo-boos?" The twins shook their heads. "Good, now which one of you did it?" The twins stared at her, then pointed to Gintoki. "No way," Gintoki said. "No-no. Papa was sitting next to Mama when this happened. Now, who did it?" The twin's point at each other. Sonata sighed. "This going to take all day."

Sonata walks in to see Gintosu and Ginharu drawing. On the walls. "What the?! Gintoki!" He walks in, rubbing his eyes. "Yeah?"

"Did you enjoy your nap?" He smiles. "Sure did."

"I told you to watch them, Gin."

"What happened?" Sonata points to the wall. "Oh."

"Damn it, Gintoki. When I tell you to watch the twins, you watch them..." She looks at the wall. "You know, it's not bad." Gintoki stares at it. "Yeah, it's kind of cool looking." She smiles. "Aww, you two have mommy's creative side. You guys did very well." Sonata takes a picture of it. "Here, Gintoki. Clean it off."

"What? Why me?"

"Because you were here when it happened."

"Yeah, Papa, clean it up." The Twins laughed as they ran off. Gintoki sighed. "Terrible two's."