Disclaimer: I do NOT own ANY part of ATLA in any way, shape, or form. I own NOTHING!

Chapter 9:

KATARA

"She's definitely a waterbender," I declare as I put a now very content Korri on the bed. "Look how happy she is now that she's spent some time in the tub!"

My bindings are soaked through and through too, but it was worth it to wash that fussy attitude off her.

Sitting pensively near the foot of the bed, Zuko doesn't humor me with a response. He isn't even fazed by what I said, but he doesn't talk about Korrine much. He acknowledges her existence. He helps with her. Yet I don't think he's ever called her by name or even mentioned anything about her potential since we left my tribe.

"We're running low on supplies." He changes the subject completely.

"I'll go into town tomorrow." I grab fresh cloth out of the bag, Korri continuing to babble to me and squirm as I do so. I can't keep from beaming down at her and babbling back.

Zuko's shoulders tense. "I don't want you going alone."

"Because the water tribe girl can't handle it on her own?" My smile falls and my hands go to my hips.

"No. I just think it's a bad idea for either of us to go into town alone given the circumstances. I guess it can't be helped, though. We can't always go together."

I nod in agreement.

"I'll stay and watch her so you can get supplies. But I'm going next time. It might not be a bad idea to take turns and go to different parts of the island for supplies. We don't need to frequent any areas. And you don't need to get cozy with the locals."

I fold my arms and resist the urge to roll my eyes. "I know. I know."

"I mean it, Katara." He stands and takes a step forward, pinning me down with a stern gaze. "No excessive socializing. Don't talk more than you have to."

"If I'm too quiet, they'll find me suspicious. I have to speak..." I argue.

"Just-" he rubs at his temple "-don't go overboard. I know you'll be tempted since we're the only company you have, but try to have some restraint for the baby's sake."

"Fine."

I guess he's right. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't yearning for contact outside of this house. I can't help but feel isolated. Not to mention the fact that I frequently get the urge to call out to the others. It feels like they should still be here.

"Here." I toss the fresh cloth at him. "You dress her."

I frequently give Zuko child-rearing lessons to keep his reckless impulses at bay.

Zuko needs to feel like he has some kind of purpose. He hates doing nothing and the longer he feels like he's doing nothing, the more agitated he becomes. So I've made it my job to keep him occupied and keep that darker side of him distracted.

He's gotten the hang of feeding, and although he is still uncomfortable holding her, he has gotten a lot better about doing so. He isn't nearly as uneasy as he'd been initially. Sometimes, he can even get her to sleep. In fact, he might be better at that than I am. She loves his heat, which is something she and I have in common.

He does little things for her. He gives her his hand, and she pulls and chews on his fingers like a toy. He lets her pull his hair, and lately, I've caught him talking to her like she's an adult with a fully developed vocabulary, but he doesn't want to get attached. He doesn't want to get close to her. He keeps her at arm's length literally and figuratively.

The main thing Zuko struggles with regarding the baby is the whole changing thing.

"You wrapped the cloth around her wrong," I chide lightly as I observe his handwork.

"I did not!" he argues, ready to burn the thing off her if he discovers he did it wrong. Again.

"It is." I lift her to show the error more plainly. "See how it's not covering her completely…?"

Zuko's hands curl into gnarled fists. The room is suddenly hotter and seconds later, he roars in frustration and blazes out of the room.

"But you're getting a lot better!" I call, but he is already gone. And Korri is crying again.

I never know where Zuko goes to blow off steam. He just does this sometimes.

He'll vanish, but he always comes back, so I have to bite down the urge to pry. He'll lose his temper if I push too hard. That doesn't keep me from itching to know what he's doing, though.

Something reignited in him after the raid, but I'm still deciding on whether or not this is a good thing. He's temperamental, and I occasionally see the dark shadow of the old Zuko looming behind him.

That is a whole other issue…

I tell myself that it's better than the listless alternative I became acquainted with after Aang's death, but I can't help but worry whenever he goes off to brood. We don't need him falling back into old habits.

I wish baths worked for Zuko the way they worked for Korri. The lack of sleep and being back in this house has made him exceptionally cranky lately.

We have our good days, and we have our bad days. Today has clearly been another bad day for Zuko.

It's late when he finally comes back. The baby and I already had dinner and have been in bed for a while.

Momo flies into the room ahead of Zuko, peeking into Korri's crib as Zuko bumps around in the dark.

I pretend to be asleep, cracking my eyes open occasionally to sneak a peek at what he's doing.

Zuko shoos Momo away from the crib to keep him from waking her. Momo gives a curt purr in response before he curls up on top of an armchair on the other side of the room.

Once Momo is gone, Zuko looks down into the baby bed to see if Korri is still asleep. Then he halfheartedly pulls the blanket back over her, doing so without paying much attention.

I've learned that this is his strange, inadvertent way of showing he cares.

He kicks off his boots, pulls his shirt off over his head, and gets in bed next to me, careful to stay on top of the covers, as is his new habit.

Usually, I'm the one who is restless at night. Tonight, however, restlessness has decided to sink its teeth into Zuko. He wiggles a lot, tossing and turning as if he's wrestling with himself.

This continues for a long time until I finally feel the mattress give. Looking over, I see him sliding out of the bed.

Silently, hidden beneath the covers, I watch him. I watch his pale skin glow under the moonlight leaking into the room from the balcony doors and towering window as he paces. I watch his muscles move and bulge with every powerful stride he takes.

The pacing continues for a while before he leaves the room completely.

I feel his absence instantly. The room is smaller, colder, and emptier without his presence.

It's too much for me, so I get up and go after him.

The house is dark with only the moon lighting my way, but it is not as stuffy or musty as it was when we first got here. Our presence has breathed life back into it, but there is still this looming emptiness here, like the house itself is sad. Even as the floorboards grumble under my weight, their groans sound more like whimpers.

I find Zuko on one of the balconies. He lurches around like an irritated lion-vulture. He alternates between pacing and staring out at the beach and the lush mountains not far behind the house.

I linger in the doorway and watch until he picks up on my presence and pins me down with his boiling, yellow gaze.

I'm frozen in place for a moment before I move to approach him. The chill in the air that flies off the ocean cuts through me as my bare feet connect with the patio's hardwood flooring.

I try to cover up by wrapping my arms around myself. It doesn't work. Somehow, I feel even more exposed and vulnerable.

"Hey."

He barely reacts to my voice. He glances at me out of the corner of his eye before turning his attention back out to the rippling dark water below.

I take a few steps forward and lean against the balcony railing beside him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Zuko blinks slowly, mulling my offer over. "...I was just thinking too much to sleep."

"What were you thinking about?" I ask immediately, the question leaving me like an impulse.

"The baby. The Fire Nation. The White Lotus. Uncle. Ozai. Azula. My Mom. Aang. Mai…"

There is a twinge of pain in me when he says her name. I struggle to categorize it as guilt or jealousy, though. Perhaps both?

Probably both…

His eyes find me again. "You."

I heat from the inside out. The way he said that word and the way he looked at me ignited something deep in my gut. I blush and think about kissing him.

My breathing quickens as thoughts of his lips on mine invade all parts of my brain.

I've tried my best not to think about it. I really have, and with everything else that's going on, I've been successful at keeping it in the back of my mind. I can't help myself now, though. I'm thinking about it. I'm tingly all over at the thought of it, the thought of him closing the gap between us and kissing me as passionately as he had that day.

As badly as I want to, I can't pretend we didn't kiss. I thought I could, but I can't. I just can't. Our genetic makeup changed with that one act. My very being changed. Everything in me remembers and reacts to him differently. Sometimes it's subtle. Other times – like now – it is much more noticeable.

There is this piece of him that's in me now, and it went on to light this tiny fire deep inside me. Now, all I do is burn.

Zuko notices my uneven, rapid breaths. Those warm yet subtly dangerous eyes go to my body and then back up to my face.

He takes a few steps toward me. They are heavy and slow yet meticulous.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

My heart syncs up with each step, pounding like a drum, sending deep vibrations through every nerve ending I have.

He cages me with his arms, gripping the railing on each side of my hips. It feels like a threat. Or maybe a challenge?

I suck in a breath to meet this unspoken challenge as if it will make me bigger, more threatening. It thrusts my poorly covered chest forward, so this wasn't my best idea.

"What do you want?" he growls, his rough timbre making my stomach quiver and tighten.

I open my mouth to answer, but nothing comes out.

His eyes focus on my mouth. They are heavy, lidded, and overflowing with liquid gold.

The waves crash onto the ebony sand behind me, the cool breeze licking my back, but I'm only hypnotized by the sea of gold in his eyes.

I want to drown myself in it.

Not even five minutes ago, I was cold. Not now. It's hot. I'm hot. I'm burning from the inside out. I'm smothering.

My rapid breathing stops. I'm not breathing at all now.

What's happening to me? I must be sick. I have a fever. I'm close to hallucinating.

One of his hands leaves the railing of the balcony, the back of his fingers dragging along the exposed skin above my hip.

I suck in a sharp breath, but I don't move.

Hot fingertips roam down my hip, up the curve of my side, and across the front of my stomach before gliding up the center of my belly.

I don't know what he plans on doing, but this unbearable heat has me so delusional that I don't care. I just want him to do it.

His hand flattens against my quivering stomach. It's like he is trying to steady me or calm me down. It doesn't work. I'm covered in tremors. My hips have angled toward him. Maybe they were moving this whole time as if attached to those scalding fingertips by invisible strings.

I'm a puppet. He's playing with me.

Part of me wants to yell at him, to make the haze clear, to make it stop, to say that I hate this.

But I don't. I stay.

He watches me attentively. His eyes glow even brighter now, but his expression is one of indifference, which makes me surprisingly angry.

It dawns on me that I want the feeling kissing him gave me.

I want him to kiss me.

The only time I have been really and truly content since Aang died was when Zuko kissed me. That is why I now crave that contact like water. That's why I'm reacting to him this way.

I take a shaky, tentative step forward. I leave space between us, but not much. I reach up, my hand drawn to the bright red scar in the center of his chest.

He stops me before I make any kind of contact, his hand wrapping around my wrist.

I wonder if I look as disappointed as I feel.

"What do you want?" he asks again.

I don't understand. I don't get why he keeps asking that. Does he really want me to say it? What does he even want me to say? Is he trying to make me beg? What is he trying to get out of this?

Still unable to give an answer, I chew on the inside of my cheek.

He snickers dryly, shaking his head.

I go red. I am both embarrassed and mad.

He says nothing else. His hand glides down my wrist to my hand, our fingers lace, and he walks me back to the master bedroom.

Despite the fact that I'm still flustered and burning, I get under the blankets. He doesn't. He lies on his back and stares at the ceiling as all the tension from the balcony follows us here, settling on top of us, making the air around us thick and un-breathable.

I curl into a ball, but there is no way I'm going to sleep now. Now my mind is churning like crazy, and it goes to a weird place as I steal glances at Zuko out of the corner of my eye.

I've heard many women over the years boast of firebender libido and sexual prowess, and I find myself curious about it as I lie next to Zuko, still feeling the sharp burn of his fingers on my skin.

Zuko's handsome. I'd noticed that a long time ago, but it was always muddled by how ugly he was to me on the inside.

That isn't the case anymore. Zuko is handsome on the inside too. It just took a lot of searching to get to. He has so many layers, more layers than anyone I've ever met. It usually doesn't take me this long to feel like I understand someone, but he is complex, complicated. He didn't open up easily, but once he did, he is like a rosewood box full of jewels, gems, and secrets, some more appealing than others.

He's ignoring me, which is still surprisingly upsetting. I crave his attention like a child, and I have to bite down the urge to act out in order to regain it.

I wonder if he even finds me attractive. Sure, he's kissed me (likely on impulse). But how does he see me? Really see me? As a kid? As a peasant? A filthy waterbender?

He probably thinks I am beneath him. Banished or not, he's still a prince. He might even be considered Fire Lord in some aspects. I am a chief's daughter, but that isn't the same.

He made the mistake of kissing me once. I doubt he'll do it again.

But why does that bother me? I shouldn't want him to. I should be grateful. I should feel relieved.

But I don't.

"Whatever it is that you're worrying about, stop," he grumbles without opening his eyes.

I jerk upright, surprised by his ability to read me. "I'm not worrying…"

"Yes, you are." A smile plays at his lips. "I don't have to look at you to know what you're doing."

He rolls over and drapes an arm over me, finally facing me completely and pulling me a bit closer.

It's not enough. I long for the contact he used to give me. I want him to hold me like he used to before we reached the South Pole and I resolved to leave that phase behind.

I don't want him on top of the covers. I don't want him holding me at arm's length and pacifying me with halfhearted touch. I want more.

I want more…

Huffing, I throw the covers off my body. I move around until I am on top of them so I can inch closer to him. Once I'm done shifting, his arm goes around my waist like I'd secretly hoped that it would.

There are no more barriers between us. I finally feel his skin on mine.

Melding against him like the heat leech he's always accused me of being, I realize just how much I missed this, ached for this. I missed his masculine, sweet yet spicy smell. I missed the heat that radiates off him. I missed his hands in my hair, against the small of my back and along the nape of my neck.

All my progress, all the strides I took to regain my independence and distance myself from the foreign, unsettling things he coaxes out of me, it all evaporates, dissolving like a puff of smoke. The distance, the shields, and the excuses are gone. They leave me.

I'm disappointed in myself, but I'm also content.

The next morning, I find myself a few inches from being completely on top of Zuko.

We are this tangled mass of limbs and rumbling sinew. My head is under his chin, my leg draped carelessly across him. One of his hands is flat against the bare skin near the small of my back. The other is still in my hair near the base of my neck.

His expression is peaceful, his lips slightly parted, his hair pooling onto the pillow like oil out of a damaged Fire Navy ship.

I run my fingers along his jawline and push a strand of his hair out of his face, a strange sadness filling me as I do so. I'm unable to pinpoint the origin of this sadness, though.

I can hear his heartbeat. I can feel it. It taps against my chest, like a tentative knock on a door. I can feel my own heart beating in response like they are speaking to one another.

Korri whines softly, causing Momo to stir against our feet at the foot of the bed. He gets up only to spin around and curl up again, turning his back on the baby and the noises she's making.

Zuko stretches underneath me and groans softly. His back arches and his hands leave my back to extend over his head and run through his hair.

His heartbeat quickens and his breathing loses its calm, rhythmic pace in favor of a sturdier, heftier pattern.

Zuko's eyes open. They are dilated at first but slowly narrow as the world around him comes into focus.

They are more yellow than gold this morning as they lock onto me.

His expression softens but mine remains blank, my fingertips still lingering on his face.

I should move. There is something profoundly intimate about this, and it is almost too much for me. But I'm too stunned to move. I'm not really sure how to handle this.

Korri's whining grows louder, so I decide to crawl over Zuko to get to her, which is a mistake. By moving to get closer to the edge of the bed and Korri, I end up straddling Zuko.

He tenses and sucks in a sharp breath as if I've thrown hot water on him as soon as my knees dip into the mattress on each side of him.

Zuko curses under his breath, grips my hips, and shifts me off him as quick as he can, practically throwing me to the other side of the bed. He heads to the bathroom, walking kind of funny and readjusting the front of his pants.

As I get up to check on the baby, I can't deny the fact that my pride is hurt. I get that I didn't really think that movement through, but he didn't have to be rude about it. He didn't have to act like I was some kind of parasite he'd found growing on him.

I calm Korri down, and once she's pacified with looking at Momo and trying to snatch his tail, I scamper around the room, trying to put clothes on as quickly as possible.

Digging through drawers and closets, I look for anything red that will also cover as much of me as possible, but not enough to make me look suspicious or draw more attention.

I'm still pouting when Zuko reenters the room, and he is still tense, uncomfortable, and miserable.

"I'm about to head out for a supply run," I declare as I pass the baby to him a bit too forcefully.

"Your necklace…" Balancing Korri on one hip, he gestures to my neck.

My hand goes to my throat before I reluctantly undo the ribbon at the back of my neck.

For some reason, I think about when Aang got Mom's necklace back to me after Zuko had it...

'Aang! How did you get that?!'

'Zuko asked me to be sure I got it to you.'

'Oh, that's so sweet of Zuko! Would you give him a kiss for me when you see him?'

I cringe at the thought of my fourteen-year-old self saying that. I had no idea. I had no idea what was coming.

"I can hold onto it for you." He extends his hand toward me.

My eyes dart between Zuko's open palm and the necklace in my hand, my thumb running along the smooth edges and the small grooves carefully carved into it.

I don't think I can give it to him. There is a heavy implication to it. The women in our tribe were always very superstitious when it came to betrothal necklaces. There are all these old wives' tales about letting someone who isn't your husband or betrothed touch your necklace. There are even stories about what happens if you lose your necklace and someone else finds it.

Granted, this isn't actually my betrothal necklace. I'm not engaged to anyone, but the thought of this necklace continuing to pass between us like this makes me uneasy. I know Gran Gran and any of the other elders back at the tribe would be cringing if they knew.

Sensing my obvious hesitation he asks: "Do you really want to risk losing it?"

No. But I don't want you to have it either…

"If you lose it and someone finds it, they'll know someone from the Water Tribes was here. In case you haven't noticed, there aren't that many of those running around. We can't have anyone even thinking you might have been here."

"I know…" I grumble, keeping my eyes low.

I keep mulling my options over. The last time we were in the Fire Nation, I kept it in my pocket or hidden in our satchels. I remember being constantly on edge about it and looking or feeling for it every few seconds. Whenever it wasn't around my neck, the fear of losing it again was never too far away.

"I'll keep it somewhere safe." His hand is still outstretched.

I dig a finger into his chest. "Promise?"

"I promise." His tone and eyes are shockingly sincere.

"I want it as soon as I get back!" I continue poking his chest.

"Okay. Okay!" He grimaces, flinching away from my jabs.

Reluctantly, I place the necklace in his hand, questioning myself the instant I do.

"Be careful," he says stiffly as his hand wraps around it.

I grab Korri's hand. "And you be good for Zuko, okay?"

She babbles as she holds my finger with one hand and tugs his hair with the other. Zuko grimaces but lets her do as she pleases.

I have to admit, it's really cute that he lets her treat him like a toy.

As I pick up one of our empty bags for supplies, I get the urge to ask a question I already know I shouldn't ask.

I ask anyway.

"Hey, Zuko…?"

"Mm?" He tries to pry his hair out of Korri's chubby fingers and has very little success.

"When you had my necklace before, where did you keep it?"

Zuko goes red and lets go of her hand. I can't tell if he blushes because he's ashamed of what he did or embarrassed by how he's about to answer.

"I alternated between having it in my pocket or on my wrist." He pauses. "I...kept it around my wrist...most of the time."

It's weird to think about, especially now. I know he kept it on him so he wouldn't lose it. After all, he saw it as a way to get Aang. Of course, he'd guard it like his most prized possession. But everything seems to have a different meaning now. Our whole relationship is upside down.

He's still blushing. "Not in a creepy way…! It just seemed...reasonable at the time."

Things get awkward and tense again, implication hanging heavily between us, so I take it as my sign to leave.

"Why?" he asks before I can get out of the room

I'm the one blushing now. "I just...wondered."

His eyes narrow. He isn't buying it.

Clearing my throat awkwardly, I say: "There are these old wives' tales about betrothal necklaces. That's all."

"Like…?" His interest clearly piqued. Korri babbles too as if to reiterate his question. "Am I going to get harpooned or something because I've touched it?"

I eye him incredulously. "You never struck me as the suspicious type…"

"I'm not. Tell me anyway."

I'm so uncomfortable.

"Oh, you know, just stuff about how someone coming into contact with your necklace impacts your future…" I shift from foot to foot, kicking at the floor like a toddler being forced to eat their vegetables.

Zuko's curiosity is snuffed out as quickly as it was ignited. I can tell by his stiff body language that he doesn't want to hear anymore.

When I attempt to leave the room for the second time, he doesn't stop me.

As I blaze out of the house and down the dirt path that leads back to civilization, I tell myself that I just need space. Yeah. That's it. I need to be around other people. Being around others will help with this sickness, and I won't be so quick to leap for Zuko's attention.

It's still early by the time I hit the nearest township. The sky is a beautiful mesh of pinks and blues littered with rich, lavender clouds on the horizon that mold around the barely visible sun like a fluffy scarf. The birds and seagulls are just now coming to life, but there are already a surprising number of people out. They are all like Zuko and wake up as soon as the sun is up.

I was enjoying my walk and the crisp morning air, but I am a little nervous now that I see more and more people.

Last summer, we would go into Fire Nation towns all the time for supplies. But the world feels darker now, more dangerous. I feel even more alien than I did before. I feel like I stand out like a sore thumb even though I've put on as much red as possible and hidden my hair in a tight braid kind of like Ty Lee's (with no hair loopies) in an attempt to make it look sleeker and darker than it actually is.

I go through all our old precautionary measures in my head, reminding myself to speak the minimum amount, not get too close, and not maintain too much eye contact.

My eyes were never an issue before, but Zuko insists that a more astute person (likely someone from the army or a bounty hunter) would notice and be able to put two and two together.

I'm not like Hama. I don't have steel blue eyes that are closer to the silvery eyes that some Fire Nation nobility have. Like Mai. Mai had those hard, steel-gray eyes.

My chest cramps up at the thought of her. That weird ache in my sternum is back. It takes up residence there with all the other chaotic emotions that swarm inside me.

Thinking about Mai more than I should be, a wanted poster display just outside of town catches my attention.

My gut tells me not to look. My mind says I need to. My heart says I'll regret it.

As expected, the display is filled with pictures of Zuko, Iroh, and Jeong Jeong. But to my horror, there are pictures of the entire White Lotus. Not only that but there are posters of Sokka, Suki, Tophe, and me too.

How many of these are out there? How many towns and villages are these in? How long have they been up?

I knew this was coming. We've even talked about it. I should probably be surprised that it took this long for it to happen, but actually seeing it is jarring, especially seeing just how much gold is being offered for each of us.

It looks like Ozai is more concerned about us than we thought.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

And a big shout out to those of you who are still here after it took me so long to update. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you sticking around!

As always, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!