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Cognition 1.1

I saw a superheroine's panties for six and a half seconds.

It doesn't seem like that long, but every second was an hour in my mind. A ticking clock winding back for every moment I stared, and yet I couldn't take my eyes away from Panacea's unmentionables.

Black, a traitorous thought absentmindedly whispered in my ear. How scandalous.

The rush of cars died down, and there I was, on the other side of the road, with Panacea blushing furiously as she glared at me. I waved slightly at her. She did not wave back. I glanced mournfully down at my bag with a sigh. It contained one dirty book and two reference books. I was a simple man, and as such, would not get rid of my dirty book simply to appease someone for seeing their underwear, even if they were as renowned as Panacea. Such a thing was not in my nature as a person. But my reputation was seriously at risk here. I was just an ordinary person, and Panacea was a superhero. If she told everyone about my lecherous glances at her, I would definitely become an outcast.

I waited patiently at the crosswalk for the light to turn green. It was a long light, and so I was forced to wait for some time. The hardest part was pretending not to notice Panacea's glare piercing through my being like knives. It was harder than it sounds, especially when I knew in my soul that if Panacea had been gifted with Legend's skillset instead of her own, I would have been dead in an instant.

The light turned green.

I crossed the street. I looked at Panacea. She looked at me.

"Do you want some ice cream?"

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I gave her an ice cream stick. She glared at me.

"Did... You didn't see them, right?"

I took a bite of my ice cream.

The obvious answer was before me. As a man, I could not forget Amy Dallon's panties. Black and lacy. Maybe she just likes to feel a little something extra underneath her robe? I certainly didn't know. But I could absolutely not forget for even a moment the glimpse I had received of a superheroine's panties.

"I didn't see them," I said, like a liar.

"You're lying." She answered, like a saint. Her glare was modest yet fierce. "Idiot. Pervert. Loser who has nothing but girls on his mind."

I cringed at the insults, but did not deny them. Every word that exited Amy Dallon's mouth was true, for even as I looked at her face, sullen as she nibbled at her ice cream, I was not thinking of her face.

I was, in fact, thinking of her derriere.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to see your panties. But, as a man…"

"If you say something like 'I can never forget them', or 'they were absolutely the highlight of my day', it's just proof that I'm right."

I flinched at her words as if it was a physical blow to my person. She was absolutely wrong on this point. Personally, it is something I can take as an absolute fact. Seeing the underthings of a superhero - particularly a girl of my own age - would give me absolute bragging rights to anyone I spoke to them about.

Not that I spoke to many people, really. Panacea was definitely right about at least one thing; I am, in fact, a loser who has nothing but girls on his mind.

"I won't tell anyone?" I offered, tilting my head as I took a bite of the ice cream. "Even if it was the absolute highlight of my day. The pinnacle of my life. A moment that I will treasure until my dying breath. I just won't say a word about it."

She looked at me, suspiciously. "When you say things like that I definitely don't believe you'll keep it to yourself. It makes you sound like a demon, except you only lust after teenage girls."

"As a teenage boy, I'm absolutely certain that I'm allowed to lust after teenage girls."

"As a teenage girl, I'm absolutely certain that all teenage boys are disgusting."

I inclined my head in defeat. In a way, Panacea was not wrong. There is absolutely nothing I can say to convince her otherwise. As a teenage boy, I could indeed be lavished with accolades if I'd had anyone to brag about seeing her panties to. Alas, I did not.

"If it's any consolation, I don't have any friends to tell about it."

"If it's any consolation, having my underwear seen by someone with no friends is even worse then if someone who would have shouted it from the rooftops saw them."

Now I began to sulk, as Panacea smugly smiled at me. Ahhh, that one hurt you know? I'm definitely not your ordinary protagonist character, who can just shrug off demonization of my person by a cute girl without even sulking! I'm not like that all! Seriously, how do you expect me to react to a scenario like this!? It's totally unfair to me! The balance of power is all out of whack!

"Maybe I'll just shout it from the rooftops then," I said, folding the trash from my ice cream cone into a square. I then stood up, cupping my hands around my mouth.

"I SAW PANACEA'S PANTIES WHEN I WAS CROSSING THE STR-"

A lunge.

A fall.

A glare from a girl on top of me.

"That's definitely not what I meant, and you know it."

"I'm just trying to appease you in the only way I know how."

"You're really warped, you know that?"

She moved off of me, and I sat up. We both watched the cars pass by, me from the ground, and her as she leaned against the railing of the bridge. She smiled at me, and I turned away, unable to hide the flush in my cheeks. Panacea was seriously cute. It's absolutely impossible to describe her in any other way.

Of course, I would never have a crush on a superheroine, even if she was one of the cutest people I'd ever seen in my life. It'd be entirely ridiculous, right? For one, I'm totally average in every way. Even looking at a superhero is like something out of a dream, you know? There's absolutely no way that anything would ever come of this.

"Sorry," I said. "I just can't think of another way to apologize."

She paused for a moment, looking at me. Seriously looking at me. I could feel a chill run up my spine as I realized that this was, in fact, Panacea who I had been speaking with.

"Do you have any friends at all?"

The words left her mouth way too quickly, and I looked away. Someone like me doesn't really have many friends. It's not from a lack of trying, or because I don't want any. It's just because I'm not the type of person that many people want to make friends with.

"...Do you want to be friends with me, then?"

She said the words as quiet as a mouse, and I looked at her. This time, she wasn't looking at me, instead staring out over the bridge at the water underneath it, the stick of ice cream dangling in her hand. She turned to me with a bitter smile on her face, and laughed.

"I don't have many friends, either. It's mostly just people Victoria knows. Everyone wants something from me, you know? I'm the ultimate healer. The end-all of the end-alls to any problems. 'Panacea, can you make me see better?' 'Panacea, can you heal my father?' 'Panacea, why did you let me sister die?' It's endless. I'm surprised you didn't want anything from me."

I scratch the back of my head. I don't really know how to reply to Panacea. It's a difficult situation to be in. I extend a hand to her, hesitant.

"Koyomi Araragi. I go to Arcadia."

She smiled, leaning against the bridge railing, arching an eyebrow at me. Seriously, this is really awkward, you know? I've never taken the first step like this before, come on! It's not like this is the first chapter of an inevitably dropped serialized work where the author's trying to hook the audience into his ruse that he'll definitely continue updating! I'm just trying to make a friend!

"Seriously? You go to Arcadia? You're definitely not in any of my classes. I'd remember someone as ridiculous as you."

Wow, that hurts. Panacea's seriously warped.

"I don't talk to others very much," I said in response. "So I'm pretty bad at it. Nobody I know has died. Nobody I know is terminally ill. I'm as fit as you could expect of any teenage boy."

"And what's stopping you from begging me for help when you get hurt? When you scrape your knees and need someone to fix it? When your sister falls down and breaks her leg?"

"Ahhh, I think they'll be fine, right? The human body can fix itself in almost any situation."

She looked at me. And then she burst out laughing. I'd never heard Panacea laugh before, on videos, at school, or even when I saw her while visiting a friend in the hospital. She was almost unnaturally quiet, most of the time.

She took my hand, and made a face. My hands must be really dirty, then.

"Absolutely zero. You don't even dream of becoming a superhero, do you? You're just absolutely normal in every single way."

"Yes," I said. "I, Araragi Koyomi, am a completely normal, totally ordinary, and absolutely irrelevant high school student."

"Would you mind so terribly if we became friends?"

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