He took a deep breath, aiming to the bird's head. Focus, Shikamaru told himself. He tried to see the imaginary line between his prey and the stone he was firmly holding in his slingshot.
Months ago, when he thought he was going to starve to death, he discovered there were still birds in the highlands. Since there was nothing else to eat, the boy understood he had to learn how to hunt them. He had to sacrifice one of his backpack straps, but finally with that and a sturdy branch had managed to make a fairly firm mechanism.
Unfortunately, he failed every time he tried to use it. After several days Shikamaru accepted that the thing wasn't going to work. But he had nothing better to do than keep trying, so he did. The time he finally got it, he knew he just had to improve.
And he hadn't done it much, because his aim was still quite bad. He had to try several times before he could actually hit a bird. And it didn't help that this particular midday his thoughts were so volatile.
Neji's face came to his mind. Pale cheeks, dark hair, and eyelids covered with deep scars. He remembered the Hyuuga the night he found him, so thin and ill he thought he was going to die. That was a very terrifying memory, the most terrifying Shikamaru could have ever imagined. That he had found Neji, only to see him die. Fortunately, against all odds, the boy had made it. And Shikamaru shouldn't have been surprised. He was Hyuuga, Neji, after all.
He remembered how stoic and serious Neji was back in Konoha. Always distant, training hard to get better and better. Relentless, independent, self-sufficient. A person with a rough past, forced to serve his insane clan with his life. Despite that, he had become one of the best ninjas in the village, and without anyone's help.
Shikamaru could only imagine how bad he was feeling now in that condition. Besides, he knew the Hyuuga was a pretty proud person. Having someone taking care of him must be humiliating for him. The image of Neji's scars pierced deep in his memory, and he had to close his eyes.
Shikamaru lowered his arms with a hoarse exhalation, and the bird he was trying to hunt flew away. He had a bad feeling about leaving Neji alone, but because he couldn't see the boy wasn't stealthy enough to go hunting. The Hyuuga had repeated many times that he was going to be okay, until Shikamaru finally agreed to leave. The boy knew he would only make things harder, and seemed to have accepted the situation. That was not like the Neji he remembered.
But even more surprising than his acceptance of his condition, was the Hyuga's reaction to Shikamaru's breakdown from a few nights ago. He had been so nice and compassionate, even though he hadn't said a single word. The Neji he remembered would have qualified that behavior as weakness. But the way he had hugged him the other night, clinging tightly to him while Shikamaru discharged his grief, and the way he silently accompanied him after he finally stopped crying, were graven in his memory. He had never expected such kindness from the Hyuuga, and he was grateful for it.
Is that why you keep taking his hand at nights?, a voice asked inside his head.
No. He did that for Neji. Because the first nights he seemed to lose track of his surroundings and then started panicking, and Shikamaru hadn't found a better way to calm him down. He did it because Neji needed it.
Although the truth was that Shikamaru had continued to take his hand, even after those episodes ended. He didn't know why, but holding Neji's hand gave him a sense of tranquility he hadn't felt in a very long time.
So it's because you need it.
He shook his head, trying to push those thoughts away. He had to concentrate on finding food, so he could go back and check on Neji.
About half an hour later he was climbing back to their temporary shelter in a much better mood. He had managed to capture a huge bird, bigger than he had ever seen. It looked like some kind of duck, which surely had stopped to rest during its migratory flight. Shikamaru entered the cave carrying the animal in his arms.
"Guess what", he said with an enthusiastic tone, seeing from the corner of his eye that Neji was sitting on his knees a little further inside the shelter. He put the duck on the ground and started taking off his backpack. "I found a huge bird. But like, enormous. I was a little sorry to kill him, but we'll have food for weeks". Neji didn't answer, so he straighten and turned towards him. "What do you say? Are you hungry?".
The Hyuuga was facing one of the cave walls, so Shikamaru couldn't see his face. Once more, he didn't answer, which wasn't a good sign.
"Neji?", the Nara asked. Again, nothing. Realizing something was up, he walked slowly to the Hyuuga. In that moment, a chill ran through his spine. Neji's eyes were no longer closed.
Shikamaru stared at the boy's face. His expression was blanck, and his eyes were completely white. He remembered that Neji's eyes were a light lavender color, like Hinata's and all Hyuugas. That could mean bad news. He frowned, starting to get really worry.
"Your eyes are open", the Nara said after a long pause. Neji didn't speak or change his expression, but this time he nodded. At least he had shown that he could hear him, so Shikamaru tried again. "And... can you see?".
There was no reaction for a long while. Neji simply stood there, staring at the void in complete silence. Then, he just shook his head slowly.
Fuck, the Nara thought. This was bad. The Hyuuga had been waiting for the moment in which he could finally open his eyes, to realize he couldn't use them. Shikamaru studied his face and noticed that his expression wasn't blank at all. He actually looked devastated. His head and his shoulders were down, as if he had given up completely. Something Shikamaru had never expected to see on Hyuuga, Neji's face, and he felt he had to do something about it. Very slowly, he walked forward and kneeled in front of the boy.
From a closer distance, he could see Neji's scars around his now white eyes. The Hyuuga looked as if he wasn't there, so Shikamaru reached a hand to gently grab his shoulder.
"Listen", he whispered softly. "Maybe it's temporary. Your eyes suffered a lot of damage. Maybe they'll clear up gradually". Neji didn't push him away, but he frowned and clenched his teeth in obvious frustration. Shikamaru had never seen him be so expressive, because the Hyuuga was the best at hiding his emotions. And that only meant he was feeling terrible. "Hey, it'll be okay…", the Nara said, not knowing how to offer comfort.
"I am useless", Neji murmured at last, with a bitter tone that made Shikamaru's blood run cold.
"You're not", he answered, but the Hyuuga shook his head again.
"What use can I have against those monsters, or against anyone, if I can not see?", Neji spit back, clenching his fists over his knees. "I can't even protect myself". He pursed his lips together, forming a grim line. "I have no use. I am a burden".
Shikamaru squeezed his shoulder gently. "Don't say that", he replied. "Maybe we can train your other senses. You can still be able to fight". Neji sighed deeply at the idea, filling the Nara's chest with anguish. "C'mon. You're a Hyuuga, right? And one of the best, if not the best. If there's someone who can overcome this, that's you". The older boy's expression softened with this words, but after a second he frowned with frustration again. He looked hurt, and defeated. Shikamaru had no idea of how to help him, so he simply squeezed his shoulder a bit more. "Hey, it'll be alright", he said in the most comforting voice he could manage. "I promise".
Neji didn't reacted for a long moment. During that time Shikamaru studied him, realizing he had never stared at anyone so directly to the face during such a long time. Because the Hyuuga couldn't see him, he could just look at him without making it awkward. Shikamaru paid close attention to the details of Neji's face, from the elegant line of his lips, to the white spirals on his cloudy eyes. He remembered Ino saying the Hyuuga was handsome, and in that moment Shikamaru though he could agree with that. Finally, Neji moved, letting out a deep breath, and lifting a hand to put it over the Nara's. He squeezed it gently, and Shikamaru took it as a good sign. Maybe it meant he accepted his proposal. Training Neji so that he could fight despite of his blindness didn't seem at all impossible to him. He knew how good and persevering the boy was. He just needed to give him some confidence. "So", he said, smiling though the Hyuuga couldn't see him. "Are you hungry?".
A little later, Shikamaru was leading Neji to an open valley hidden among the mountains where he could start a fire. As soon as they arrived he started collecting branches and dry leaves, while the Hyuuga sat on the ground not far away. When he considered he had enough to start, he approached to Neji and began to prepare everything. First, he bent down and took the huge bird.
"This is probably gonna take a while", he said to the Hyuuga. "I'm pretty low with this tasks". He saw Neji sigh bitterly, so he stopped what he was doing. "What's wrong?".
The Hyuuga shook his head. "I can't even provide food for myself", he answered. "If I could use my eyes, I could help you. I could hunt and make the fire and even cook and…". He left the words die on the air and let out a tired exhalation.
"Well, now that I think about it", Shikamaru started saying, thinking that he had to find a way to lift Neji's mood. "I think you can actually help".
At hearing his words, Neji straightened a little and widened his eyes. He was so damn expressive, the complete opposite of what Shikamaru remembered. Was it possible that because he could not see he was less aware of his expressions and let them show? Or maybe by not feeling Shikamaru's gaze on him he didn't restrict himself so much. Anyway, the Nara was kind of glad he could stare at him with total freedom.
"How?", the Hyuuga asked, turning to where he thought Shikamaru was.
"I don't especially enjoy the part of plucking the feathers", he said, approaching to Neji with the big bird on his hands. "It's messy. Maybe you could try while I start the fire".
With no hesitation, Neji nodded firmly and stretched his hands to take the bird. He looked suddenly determined, as if he was facing a great challenge. Shikamaru helped him place the bird over his legs. Neji felt everything with his hands before he started trying to pluck the feathers with his fingers. The Nara watched him for a few moments, and smiled when he saw the funny expressions Neji made to concentrate. He decided to give the boy some space to deal with the task by himself, and turned around to start the fire.
They worked in silence. After many tries, Shikamaru managed to start a tiny flame. He kept an eye on Neji all the time, making sure the boy didn't get frustrated or something. About an hour later, the Hyuuga called with an insecure voice.
"I think I am done", he said, and Shikamaru approached. Neji's hands were covered with the bird's blood, and he was surrounded by feathers. The Nara knelt to look at the dead animal over his legs.
"Hey, it looks great", he said. And it was true. Neji had done a very good job.
"Be honest", the Hyuuga ordered with a serious voice.
"I'm being honest", he assured gently. "You did it perfectly. It takes me like two hours, and I always tear it apart". He made a pause. "You're good at this".
Neji rolled his big, white eyes. "Great. I have a fantastic ability". He said. "It will be very useful in battles".
Shikamaru smiled at the sarcasm, but he knew he had to keep the Hyuuga away from those negative thoughts. An idea came to his mind. "Hey, you do have a fantastic ability. You can you feel other people's chakra, right?".
A dark shadow spread across Neji's face. He lowered his head and frowned, but not with anger. It was more like a strange mixture of impotence and... fear? Those were two things Shikamaru had never seen on the Hyuuga's face.
"I tried…", Neji said, almost whispering. "Little after you found me. And I couldn't feel anything".
Shikamaru processed those words. It had been several weeks since he had found Neji. Why hadn't he tried again? It only took him a second to realize what the boy was afraid of. If he couldn't use his Byakugan, and neither his ability to perceive chakras, he could hardly call himself a Hyuuga. Shikamaru could only imagine how much this possibility must be terrifying him.
"But you're much better now, right?", he asked, sitting next to the Hyuuga. "You look stronger, and you're almost completely recovered. I bet you still can".
Neji hesitated, like he wasn't sure of wanting to know the answer yet. Apparently all the things he had suffered in the previous months had marked not only his body, but also his self-confidence. Shikamaru tried to speak in the most encouraging voice he could manage. "Why don't you try it?". Neji clenched his bloody hands over the dead bird on his legs, still doubting. He bit his lower lip, causing Shikamaru to lose concentration for a few seconds. The Nara shook his head, and tried again in a sweeter tone. "C'mon. Can you feel my chakra now?".
The Hyuuga pressed his lips together and frowned, probably having and internal battle with his emotions. After a little while, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He narrowed his eyes, focusing. Shikamaru wondered if he wasn't closing his eyes completely to concentrate because he was already in complete darkness.
Seconds went by slowly. The Nara increased his chakra gradually, studying Neji's face. His pale skin contrasted sharply with the scars around his eyes. However, he looked as beautiful as he had always been. Finally, something changed in his expression. He widened his eyes, which shone like huge pearls, and straightened, opening his lips with surprise. Shikamaru waited, expectant. Neji´s mouth curved into a soft smile.
"Yes", he said, and turned his head in the Nara´s direction. He looked happy, and Shikamaru couldn't be more relieved. He smiled too, and put a hand over the Hyuuga's shoulder.
"I knew you could do it", he whispered. Neji let out a soft laugh, and Shikamaru felt his heart racing at the wonderful sound.
Hi!
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It is a little shorter than the previous ones, but the next one will be a bit longer.
Thank you for all the support and the beautiful comments! ^^