He was walking through the camp next to Choji, who had not stopped smiling since Shikamaru had appeared, thought it had already been a week since then. It was mid morning and they were heading to the meal area, because the Akimichi wanted to check if there were still leftovers from that day's breakfast, to have a second one. When the big boy suggested it, Shikamaru simply laughed, happy to have his old friend back. He walked next to Choji with his hands in his pockets, thinking in the past days.
Tenten had been glued to Neji almost all the time, which made it really hard to be alone with him. Not that he specially needed to be alone with the Hyuuga, but since they had arrived to the camp and started spending time away from each other, he felt he had to check on him once in a while, just to know he was doing okay. Despite of Tenten's almost constant presence, Shikamaru had managed to say good night to Neji every day before going to sleep, and he always took that chance to see how he was handling everything.
He didn't like talking to the Hyuuga in front of Tenten. The first night he did it because he had no choice. He really needed to speak to Neji one last time. But he preferred to avoid entering their tent, just in case the girl was there. Not for a personal problem with her, but because everytime he was close to the Hyuuga, he felt the irrepressible need to take his hand. Having those thoughts in front of other people just made him feel awkward.
That shouldn't actually be surprising. After all, he had spent so much time alone with Neji that it was understandable that he felt weird around others. He had practically forgotten how to interact with other people, even with his closest friends. The kind of communication he had with the Hyuuga was different from the one he had with them. So implicit, almost mental. Something just the two of them understood . But the hardest part wasn't really interacting with others, but interacting with Neji in front of them. He couldn't avoid the little habits he had acquired in those more than two years. Help him stand up, comb his hair, offer him his arm to walk. His body simply moved by itself, despite of what his brain said. Everytime he did one of this things, he was very aware of the suspicious glances his friends exchanged. Neji, on the other hand, did not seem worried about it, and simply acted as usual. But he couldn't see their friends faces when they observed the way they behaved with each other.
A voice coming from behind took him out of his thoughts. The two boys stopped and turned around, to see Ino running towards them, waving her hands in the air.
"There you are!", she said while shopping next to them. "I've been looking for you everywhere". She stared at Shikamaru with a smile of complicity. "Guess what?".
The Nara arched an eyebrow. "What?".
"Temari is back!", she exclaimed, giving tiny excited jumps in her place.
"Really?", Shikamaru answered. Instead of focusing on Ino's news, his brain took the information and redirected it. Anticipation grew inside him with a powerful thought. "So the Hokage is back too?".
Every day since they had arrived to the camp, he had been expecting the Godaime to return and see Neji's eyes. He was just too impatient to know if there was a cure for the boy's blindness. Ino lowered her shoulders, a little disappointed with his reaction.
"No, she is still out there taking care of some things", she said. "But Temari is here. Are you not excited to see her?".
Shikamaru felt the guilt crawling up his chest. It was amazing how fast he had forgot about Temari to focus on Neji. Ino was staring at him with questioning eyes.
"Yeah, of course", was all he managed to answer.
The girl opened her mouth to speak again, when a new voice came from behind.
"So it was true", it said. Shikamaru recognized her immediately. He turned around, expecting to see the kunoichi he remembered, but he got a big surprise. Temari was standing a few step ahead of them, with the same strong presence she had always had, but she looked considerably different. Her blond hair was much longer, and she was now wearing it loose. Her skin was tanned, probably for spending so many days out in rescue missions. She had always been beautiful, but now she looked absolutely stunning.
Despite of her appearance, the most unusual thing on her was her expression. Temari had always been a firm, rational woman, with a very strong character, and she had never been very emotional. Now, her eyes were charged of expressiveness. She gave Shikamaru a weak smile. "It is really you".
He couldn't do more than smile back. "It's good to see you, Tem", he said honestly.
This words seemed to really reach her, because her smile went wider, and her eyes became glassy. She simply stared at Shikamaru like she couldn't believe he was actually there.
After a song silence, Ino spoke again. Fortunately, because Shikamaru didn't know what else to say.
"How was the mission?", she asked. Temari walked slowly to meet with them, never removing her eyes from Shikamaru's.
"Good", she answered. "We brought back some survivors from Kirigakure. It'd be great if you guys could go help them settle".
"Of course", Ino affirmed, and the two boys nodded in agreement.
"Thanks", Temari said to the kunoichi, but she still had her eyes nailed to Shikamaru's face. "Do you think we could talk for a moment?", she asked to the Nara.
From a closer distance, she looked even more moved. Shikamaru nodded again. "Sure", he answered.
Temari turned around and started walking, expecting the Nara would follow her. The boy gave his friends one last look, and they returned encouraging smiles. He tried to do the same, but instead he could only managed a weak grin. The truth was he was actually nervous for some reason.
He walked next to Temari to a corner of the camp, with less people and less noise. The girl sat over a big rock, one of the many rudimentary seats built with the Doton. Shikamaru sat next to her, and simply waited.
Temari had her head down, and she didn't speak or move for a long time. He saw her joining her hands over her lap, and noticed she was shaking slightly.
"Are you okay?", he asked after a while. He was really not used to see her in this state.
The girl took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yes, I'm sorry", she answered with a trembling voice. "It's just that…".
She stopped for a moment, because apparently it was too hard for her to continue. Shikamaru waited patiently. When she finally recovered and lifted her head to look at him, her eyes were fill with tears.
"Seeing you after so long, after having thought the worst", she said. "It's so…".
She stopped and lowered her head again. Shikamaru had to admit he felt touched by her reaction.
"I'm happy to see you too", he told her in a gentle voice.
This only made her shake more noticeably, and Shikamaru hesitated. What should he do? Hug her? Pat her on the back? Take her hand? He had no idea why, but he felt like there was an invisible barrier that stopped him from approaching to her. He was starting to panic at the strange sensation, when Temari spoke again.
"I wished for so long that you were okay, and to see you again". Her voice was choked, and she was breathing fast. "After all the terrible things that happened, to think that maybe you were also dead… I was just... too horrible".
Shikamaru didn't know what to do. He had never seen Temari like this, so sensible and fragile, speaking openly about her feelings. He couldn't imagine how hard it had been for her to survive, and the horrors she had probably experienced. That only made him feel worse, and the guilt grew more inside his chest. Temari had spent all that time wishing he was okay, hoping to someday find him alive. And of course he also wanted her to be safe, but during the last years he had focused so much in helping Neji adapt, and in adapting to him, that he had pretty much stopped wondering about others. Sometimes memories assaulted him and he remembered happy moments of his past, but they were always of his friends or his parents. Next to him, Temari covered her face with her hands and cried silently.
Shikamaru realized he had to do something or he would look like a heartless bastard. He lifted a hand and put it over the girl's shoulder.
"Calm down", he said softly, wishing she would stop crying. "I'm okay, see? You don't have to worry about that anymore. Everything is fine".
Temari tried to recover her normal breathing and wiped her tears with her hands. Then she lifted her head and stared directly into Shikamaru's eyes.
"Did you think of me too?", she asked. Her deep green eyes were full of tears.
Shikamaru couldn't bare the idea of hurting her. "Of course", he answered.
Finally, Temari smiled. The Nara was so relieved she wasn't crying anymore. Things were going much better. But in that moment, they got much worse. Temari leaned closer, searching for his lips.
A ring of alarm sounded in his head, sending a red warning through his neurons. A million thoughts exploited in all directions. She was trying to kiss him. She wanted to kiss him, right there, right now. Why didn't he want it? He had done it before, many times. And he had liked it. Why did he feel like he couldn't do it now? Neji's face came to his mind, erasing all other thoughts, and he panicked.
Before Temari's lips touched his, he moved his head back. The girl stopped approaching and stared at him with confusion. Her expression made Shikamaru feel like the meanest person in the word.
"What's wrong?", the girl asked, looking honestly lost.
Shikamaru opened his mouth, but nothing came out. When Temari frowned softly, trying to understand the situation, he realized he needed to give her an explanation. He stuttered a couple of times, not sure of what to say. "I, umm…", he tried to start. "Look, I also wanted you to be okay, and to see you safe. And I'm so happy and relieved you're fine. But…"
But… He didn't know how to continue. This is the part where you tell her what's going on, genius, a voice in his head said. And what's going on?!, he asked desperately to the voice. Unfortunately there was no answer.
Temari was now frowning deeply. "But what?", she questioned.
Shikamaru realized he still had a hand on her shoulder, so he removed it slowly, while he thought about something. "It's just that… I don't know...", he stammered. "Everything has changed so suddenly. Maybe... I am still assimilating that you guys are all okay, and this madness that Madara is alive and behind all this. Maybe... I need a bit of time to get use to all this".
Temari leaned her head to a side, like he was trying to understand Shikamaru's explanation.
"Maybe?", she repeated. "I don't understand. Don't you care about me anymore?".
That was like an arrow to the heart, and it made Shikamaru feel like a compleate ashole. "Of course I care about you".
Temari shrugged, thinking of other possible explanations to why the Nara wouldn't want to kiss her. "What is it then? Don't you find me attractive now?".
Shikamaru shook his head, feeling cornered. "What? No. I think you look more beautiful than ever".
Temari frowned at the contradictory situation. "Then what is the problem?".
He really didn't want to hurt her, but he couldn't lie to her either.
"Listen", he said, trying to be gentle. "I know we had something once. And I still think you're fantastic. But after all that has happened, I don't know, all the things that changed…".
"What things?", Temari asked.
Shikamaru extended his arms. "Well, everything. Everyone's life. In mine, other things became more important, and I couldn't stop to think about the past... Not that I forgot about you", he clarified, just in case she took it that way. "I wanted you to be okay. But after all this time, now I…". He hesitated. Temari was staring at him with her green glassy eyes fill with questions. He didn't want to tell her this, but he had to say the truth. "I think... I don't feel that way towards you anymore".
She stared at him black for a few seconds. Then, she lowered her eyes to Shikamaru's chest, trying to assimilate his words. Her expression didn't change for a long time. Suddenly, she pressed her lips and closed her eyes, frowning again. This time she looked really hurted.
"Tem…", Shikamaru whispered, slowly lifting his hand to touch her's. "I'm sorry…"
But Temari rejected the contact. She moved away and turned her head to a side, hiding her face. He could see her body shaking again, but now because of another kind of emotion. She covered her mouth, holding back a moan of sadness.
Shikamaru had never seen her like this, and it was definitely disturbing. He felt like shit.
"I can't believe this", Temari finally said, almost choking. "I waited so long to see you, and…".
She stopped talking because she couldn't contain her tears anymore.
"Tem…", Shikamaru tried again, but the girl stood up before he could continue.
"Excuse me…", she whispered with sorrow, and then ran away, covering her face and getting lost among people.
He was walking arm in arm with Tenten over the high walls of the camp. The girl had insisted in taking him there, even though he couldn't enjoy the view. They stopped and leaned on the stone railing, with their faces towards the crowd below them.
"I like standing here and watch all we have achieved after so much suffering", she told him. "All the survivors gave their best to overcome the tragedy, and they worked hard to help each other. Even though I don't know most of them, I can't help to feel proud of us all".
Neji smiled, happy to know that his friends had been in good company during those hard years. He felt the wind stroking his face, and enjoyed the sensation in silence. He had to admit the sound of people talking animatedly at his feet was comforting.
"Oh, look at that", Tenten said, ending the silence. Neji was about to joke about the fact that he actually couldn't, but the girl spoke again. "Its Shikamaru and Temari".
A strange sensation traveled down Neji's body. He didn't understand it, and it was something completely unknown for him. But he definitely didn't like it. "So what?", he said, acting like he didn't care about what the Nara could be doing with Temari.
"They used to date or something, right?", his friend asked. The truth was, he didn't know. He remembered hearing Ino say that there was something between them back in Konoha, but in all the time he had spent alone with Shikamaru, the boy hadn't mentioned her once.
"I do not know", he answered. "Why do you care?".
"I want to see if they get back together", the girl replied, and Neji could feel her leaning more against the railing next to him.
"Why do you want to know that?", the Hyuuga questioned, not comfortable with her curiosity.
"Well, to be the first to know it", Tenten admitted, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Oh! She's going to kiss him! That is so sweet...".
"Tenten, this is spying", Neji said, feeling his heart beating hard against his chest. For some reason he didn't want to analyze, he couldn't bare the image if Shikamaru kissing Temari. "Let's just go".
But Tenten didn't answered right away. In one hand he really wanted to know what had happened, but at the same time he was really scared of it.
"That's weird", Tenten finally said.
"What?", Neji asked. The question escaped from his mouth before he could stop himself.
"He moved away", the kunoichi explained. "Like, rejecting the kiss".
Neji's heart almost stopped. He knew Temari was a beautiful woman, or at least he remembered her that way. Not many men would refuse a kiss from her.
"I don't know what he's saying", Tenten continued relating. "But it doesn't look like he wants to kiss her. Kami, what's wrong with that nerd? Oh, she looks so sad now. Oh no, she runs away crying! Kami, this is so depressing".
Neji didn't know how to feel. He was sorry for the girl, but at the same time he was relieved that Shikamaru hadn't kiss her back. He lowered his head, feeling overwhelmed and confused.
Shikamaru stood up and walked forward, thinking that he had to find Temari and fix the situation. She had disappeared fast, and he had no idea where she had gone. He ventured into the crowd, looking for her. But instead, he ran into Kiba, who was looking at him with concern.
"Dude, what happened?", the boy asked approaching to him, followed by Akamaru. "I just saw Temari running away from you and crying. Did you just turned her down?".
"I…", the Nara hesitated. "I think so".
"Man, what is wrong with you?", the Inuzuka questioned, looking at him as if he was insane. "She is smoking hot!".
"I know…", Shikamaru answered, taking a hand to his face to rub his eyes.
"Then what the hell?!", Kiba insisted.
"I don't know!", was all Shikamaru could say. At it was true, because he had no idea of what was going on with him.
In that moment, Ino appeared behind Kiba and looked at him with a huge smile.
"And?", she asked. "How did it go with Temari?".
Shikamaru didn't even know how to start telling her what he had just done. The girl had always wanted him to be with Temari, and her eyes were full with ilusion.
"This idiot just turned her down", Kiba answered for him. Shikamaru stared at him with annoyance, but the boy simply shrugged. "You did".
"What?!", Ino exclaimed. "Why?!"
He wasn't sure of how to respond to that, so he simply ignored the question. "I should go look for her", he said. "She looked very upset".
Ino stared at him with a frustrated expression. "Of course she was upset. Shikamaru..." She made a short pause before continuing. "Her brother Kankuro died in Sunagakure's attack. She couldn't do anything to help him, and she suffered a lot because of that".
Ino's words felt like a stab on the chest, a stab he definitely deserved. He lowered his head and closed his eyes, feeling like a despicable rat.
"Fuck", Shikamaru spat. "I have to go find her".
He tried to walk pass them, but the blond kunoichi took his arm and stopped him. "You better give her a bot of time", she advised.
"Yeah, I doubt she wants to see you now", Kiba agreed. Shikamaru frowned at him once more, but the boy was speaking the truth. "I'm sorry, dude", the Inuzuka said, putting a comforting hand over his shoulder".
Later that day, Neji was sitting over his sleeping bag, combing his hair with his fingers. He was waiting for Tenten to come back to the tent, but the girl would probably take a while, because she was surly gossiping with her friends about what she had seen that afternoon.
Even though he kept trying to get distracted, Neji couldn't stop thinking about Shikamaru. He wondered if the Nara would tell him what had happened with Temari, or if he would just keep it to himself. They usually talked about everything, but because during the last years it had only been the two of them, there hadn't been much to say that the other didn't already know. He was immersed in this thoughts when he felt Shikamaru's unmistakable chakra approaching to the tent.
A few seconds later, he heard the Nara entering, and he turned his head in the boy's direction.
"Hey", Shikamaru whispered, walking towards him. His voice sounded extremely tired. "How are you doing?"
"Fine", the Hyuuga answered. "How are you?".
Shikamaru got closer slowly. "Umm, I'm not sure", he responded.
"What is wrong?", he asked softly.
The Nara seemed to hesitate for a few seconds. Then he sat over the sleeping bag, right in front of Neji.
"Temari came back today", Shikamaru explained. "She wanted to talk to me".
Neji waited, expecting the Nara to continue. He felt happy that the boy had decided to talk to him about what was worrying him, despite of having his old friends back now to do it. Shikamaru didn't speak for a while, so Neji did. "What did she say?".
"Well…", the younger boy started. "She said she spent all this time hoping I was okay, and expecting to see me again". He sounded extremely sad. "And… She tried to kiss me".
Neji didn't answer right away. Of course he already knew that, but he didn't want to confess to Shikamaru that Tenten had been spying on them. "Oh", he said after a little while. "And?".
The Nara let out a deep, exhausted breath. "I turned her down", he finally admitted.
"Oh", Neji repeated. He wasn't sure of how to comfort him, but he kept talking in the sweetest tone he could managed, trying to make him feel better. "You did not want to kiss her?".
Shikamaru hesitated again. "Well, I don't know", he answered. "I mean, of course I care about her and all that. But…".
Neji could tell he was confused. The anguish in his voice was very clear to him. "Was she angry?", he asked.
"A bit, I guess", Shikamaru answered. "But she looked mostly sad. Gods, I feel like an ashole".
The Hyuuga reached a hand towards him and touched his arm softly. "Calm down. I am sure she will be okay", he said reassuringly. Shikamaru accepted the contact and exhaled tiredly again. "Were you two dating back in Konoha?".
"No exactly", the Nara replied. This time he sounded suddenly uncomfortable, something which never happened around Neji. "We just… Slept together a few times", he confessed. "But we weren't dating".
Those words made a horrible sensation travel through Neji's body. If picturing Shikamaru kissing Temari had felt bad for him, thinking about him having sex with her was much worst. He remembered he was supposed to help the Nara, and tried to block those thoughts.
"But you liked her back then, right?", he asked.
"Yeah…", the Nara answered.
For some reason, Neji was afraid of asking the next question. But he did it anyway. "And now?"
Shikamaru sighed, and the Hyuuga knew he was having an internal fight with his feelings. He took a long time considering the question, but he finally answered. "I think I don't".
Neji felt relieved, though he tried his best to not show it. "Why?", he asked in a soft whisper.
"I don't know", the Nara replied, and he really sounded confused and troubled. "Maybe I changed. Because, that's possible, right? I mean, you definitely changed. You're nothing like you were in Konoha, so serious and,... unapproachable...". He stopped for a moment, like he was reflecting about his own words. "Or maybe you have always been this way, and I just hadn't realized".
Neji knew that was wrong. He was nothing like he had been in Konoha. After all he had lived, and after spending so much time alone with the Nara, he felt like a completely different person. In the past he would have never accepted a relationship so intimate like the one he had with Shikamaru, neither from him nor from anyone. He had always felt proud of being self-sufficient, and prefered keeping people away, because he thought he didn't need anyone but himself. After the Nara found him, he discovered he actually liked having someone who would be there for him unconditionally, and now he simply couldn't imagine his life without him. He squeezed Shikamaru's arm with his hand. "No", he answered with a smile. "I think I have changed too".
The Nara put a hand over his, returning the affectionate touch. He exhaled deeply again, but this time he sounded relieved. "Thanks", he whispered, and Neji knew he was smiling too.
Well hello there!
Two updates in one day? I bet no one expected that! Well neither did I!
Many dialogues in this chapter, I hope you guys don't mind about that. Also for Temari fans, I'm so sorry for breaking her heart like that. I like her character but I also like the drama of the whole situation. Next chapter will have more action.
Thank you very much for reading this story! It makes me so happy to know that there are people you liked one of my works so much they decided to read everything I write. I can't express how much I appreciate that!
If you liked this update please let me know! ^^