(MASH. 4077.)

The day was its usual grind. With one exception. . Margaret was on R&R .

Max looked at Nudge, "So. . You Okay doing nurse duty alone for now?"

Nudge shrugged, "Yeah." She helped Iggy with his patient.

Fang finished one patient, "Colonel. . You talked to Margaret on the phone. She say anything important?"

Colonel Potter said, "No. Just said she had news that we'd all be thrilled to hear."

BJ said, in his usual hopeful cherry demeanor, "Could be war news. . Maybe even peace news! We're always the last to hear."

Hawkeye said, in a deadpan sarcastic tone, "Yeah. We'll wake up one morning and find a note pinned to Korea."

Fang said, "A note written in Korean."

Burns shouted, "Oh, pacifist polyanas!"

Max asked, in an uninterested tone, "Oh, do tell us what YOUR theory is, Frank."

Frank said, in an arrogant tone, "It's no secret that I'm up for promotion." .

Hawkeye sarcastically said, "From Neanderthal to cro magnon."

Frank continued his arrogance, "Margaret is in Tokyo recommending me for Lieutenant Colonelcy! That translates to big bucks after the war."

Hawkeye finished his patient, "Hello, Daddy Warbucks." He walked off to look at Frank's patient, "You okay, Frank?"

Frank asked, irritated, "Almost done, Snoop! What's it to you?"

Hawkeye said, angrily, "You forgot to exteriorize! That invites infection."

Burns yelled, "Colonel!"

Potter shouted, "YOU KNOW THE PROCEDURE BURNS! EXTERIORIZE!"

Couple hours later. . The Flock were outside playing soccer. . With a catch. .

It was. . Strip soccer. The little ones, due to being so young, were exempt from that part.

And the older boys. . Were losing. The girls were still in full uniform.. . The boys were down to their army shorts. Letting all the women take in their muscular bodies. .

Thanks to Angel's mind tricks. . Most of the camp didn't see their wings. . But she couldn't keep it up forever.

Iggy said, irritated, "Hey! I'm at a disadvantage! How do you expect a blind man to play soccer?"

Nudge smirked, "The same way we expect you to perform surgery."

They kept playing. . Until a jeep ran over the soccer ball.

Max sighed, "Oh well."

Nudge said, "Margaret's back." She walked up and saluted, "Major.'

Margaret hugged her, "Ooh! My sweet little motormouth! It's good to see you again."

Nudge was confused, "Uh. . You too, boss."

Max said, smiling, "I see someone has a good time."

Margaret dismounted the jeep, "Oh, yes!" She took in the sight, "The Fighting 4077th. . Somehow it's not the same place I left."

Fang said, getting himself redressed, "We changed it.. . It's Howard Johnson's now."

Margaret laughed, "Oh! Max, Fang, Iggy!' she hugged the three, "I have the best news!"

The little ones picked up the ball as Angel looked. . Tired. Trying to occupy everybody's mind takes a lot of energy in a camp this Big.

Margaret said, keeping her upbeat attitude, "It's the very BEST news!"

Hawkeye and BJ overheard

BJ said, "Frank's DEmotion?"

Margaret said, "No!"

They all walked into her tent.

Iggy bitterly asked, "the CIA found Flagg dead in a ditch?"

Margaret burst into laughter, "It's the most WONDERFUL news of my life?!"

BJ suggested, "The war's over."

Max said, surprised, "No. ." She grabbed Margaret's hand, "You're getting married?!"

The ring on Margaret's finger was. . Small. . A real diamond absolutely but. . A very small one.

Everyone else saw the ring. It was. . Tiny. the jewel. . Dim.

Margaret kept laughing, 'Oh, his family are rich but they try not to flaunt it.'

Fang said, "They're succeeding." He looked at her face, "Congratulations, Major."

Nudge shouted, "CAN I BE MAID OF HONOR?!" She went into motormouth mode, 'Oh, I can get the most beautiful dress and we can have the best flowers! Iggy's a great cook, maybe I can have him prepare the buffet-"

Iggy put a hand on her mouth, "Babe. . I love you to pieces. . BUT WOULD YOU KINDLY STOP THAT?!"

Everyone laughed.

Angel said, resting on a pillow, "Hope he makes you happy."

Margaret said, patting the girl's head, "Oh, he does!"

Gazzy said, "God bless the marriage."

She said, "Thank you brother."

The surgeons said, "Wish you our best."

Iggy asked, "you tell Frank yet?"

Margaret said, "Oh! No, no! I want it to be a surprise! He'll be so thrilled!"

Iggy said, "No. I'm fairly sure he'll try to kill himself."

Margaret laughed as she walked out.

Max sighed, "I'll have a clean up crew for when Frank DOES Kill himself."

At lunch. When Margaret told Frank. . He acted. . Okay at first.

He looked at the ring, "It's beautiful. . I want nothing but the best for you."

Then he walked off. . And ripped the doors off the mess tent.

Fang said, "Oh dear."

Hawkeye shrugged, "well that could have gone better."

The next day in surgery. . Margaret kept talking about her fiance. . Lieutenant Colonel Donald Pennobscott.

She said, "Donald has these massive muscles on his arms! And a tattoo of a tank on his right arm! He flexes and the tank gets bigger and bigger!"

Hawkeye said, "Is that all?"

Iggy sarcastically said, "Let her talk. I'll never see this guy."

Margaret said, "Thank you, Lieutenant." She moved on, "Donald's a man in combat. He's had so many missions, he's got medals all over his chest."

BJ said, jokingly, "Must be tough to get his shirt on." He turned to his nurse, "Suture." He continued working.

Margaret said, offended, "A wimp, he is not."

Hawkeye was annoyed, "Do you HAVE to keep babbling about your tin soldier?"

Burns said, "Oh, let her babble, Pierce."

Hawkeye said, "I will Brook no babbling!"

Burns said, "Oh, come now. . It only happens once in a lifetime." He motioned Margaret over, "Assist me please Major."

Margaret came over to him, "Thank you Major. . I must say I'm surprised by how well you're taking this."

Burns said, "Well. . I do ONLY want you to be happy." He tried to work, "So this Pennob-snot is a-"

Margaret, while offended, said, "PenobSCOTT!" She assisted, "He's a West point graduate. . We'll be so happy after the war-' she screamed, "BURNS YOU STABBED ME!"

After surgery finished up. .

At night. . Frank took a gun and attempted to get a medal for heroism. .

The Flock followed him into the desert. . Where he spotted a Korean family eating a meal.

He said, chuckling an insane chuckle, "enemy guerillas in disguise. . Perfect chance for the medal of honor!"

He charged. . Nudge used her magnetic powers to take the gun away from him.

Burns turned and saw them, "WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING HERE?!"

Max said, angry, "Stopping YOU from making a massive mistake." She took the grenades away from him and tossed them away.

Burns shouted, "What are you Doing!? There could be a medal in it for me!"

Fang shouted, "You're doing all this JUST TO GET MARGARET BACK FROM HER FIANCE?!"

Burns said, "I haven't Given her a thought since I stabbed her!"

Iggy sarcastically said, "Right. Because everyone stabs the person who dumped them."

Burns tried to grab the gun. . Only to be punched. Max punched his face. Fang punched his stomach. . Nudge punched his nuts.

Burns fell down. . Passed out.

They roped him up and dragged him back to camp.

They kept him locked up in the supply room.

Potter sighed, "Of course." He looked at Hawkeye, "Call Sydney Freeman. . May need his expertise."

They brought Freedman over. . Eventually they got him calmed down.

A week later. .

Max sighed, "Well. . At least that's done."

The wind blew. . The wind of change. .

(Tune in next time for part 2.)