Chapter 3
As night approached, the celebration dwindled down until Valide Sultan called for its end, the Royal Family returning to their wing, leaving us and the kalfas to tidy up the common area. I exchanged the silk dress and jewellery for my daily uniform, and joined the other Cariyes in putting everything in order. However, upon reaching the main room, I was bombarded with questions, by the Cariyes of my group.
"Did he smell nice?" One asked, face eager and excited. The visit of the Sultan had left a buzz in those who had never seen him before. Rare were his visits to the harem.
"Was his kaftan as soft as it appeared?" Another shot above the chatter, cheeks pink with excitement and eyes shining with expectations.
"Did you do it on purpose?" Mischievous Nilüfer asked me, holding herself together despite the mirth shining in those light brown eyes. Even though I liked her, the grin was upsetting me and I felt like slapping it away. I threw her a nasty look, ignoring all other questions by the eager girls surrounding me.
"No, I didn't hear the call. I was too focussed in my dance." The chatter quieted down, as they all stared at me, incredulous. How could someone not hear the aghas's voice above all of that? I knew all too well they didn't believe my words, I shrugged it off.
"Well, on purpose or not, the Kadins didn't like the stunt you pulled." Efsun had approached us silently, some jumped in surprise. "You have managed to captivate the sultan and anger the two most powerful slaves of our harem." Nilüfer and I exchanged worried glances. To catch the Sultan's eye was such wonderful opportunity, and earns you the enmity of the Kadins. "Prepare yourself, their underlings will begin to approach you, in order to intimidate." Efsun, left, upon delivering the warning. Nilüfer and Husni exchanged worried glances, while I maintained a stoic expression, never letting on the fear clenching my insides.
"What will you do?" Husni asked, her fear was for me. Nilüfer shushed her, looked around and dragged us to the corner Fatma already occupied. She had been eyeing us curiously, but was too tired to join us. We joined her couch. I scowled at them, I had nothing to hide, but smiled to Fatma.
"I'll do nothing." I pointed out. "Our Sultan simply complimented me. Whether it meant something or not, only he can say. I doubt Hürrem Sultan will release him from her claws long enough for him to even consider calling me, or any of us." I shrugged, relaxing and sagging into the couch. The dance had left me drained, more so after the encounter with the Sultan. Despite knowing the second kadin held the man in her thrall, I couldn't help but daydream with the man who was the centre of our lives. But my words were true, the Sultan was mostly monogamous and showed no signs of changing.
I found out, the following day, who was the most unhappy by my interaction with Sultan Suleyman. Nigar Kalfa was all smiles when she entered the main room and approached me, while I broke my fast with Husni, Fatma, Nilüfer, Leyla and two Gözde, Meri and Şah Hatun. They woke up the earliest, from all other favourites. I found them to be kind, while they teased us for being simple Cariyes, they weren't as snobbish as many of the other Gözde and Ikbals. Nigar Kalfa's appearance at our table confused us.
"Mihrişah Hatun." She called me, still smiling. I rose and came to stand by her, bowing politely. I wondered what she wanted, so early in the day. "Hürrem Sultan wishes to talk to you." Silence filled the room for one moment, before the buzz of whispering broke all around me. I felt the blood drain from my face, my hands sweating from the sudden fear that threatened to consume me. I wanted to say 'no', but I couldn't offend her further, so I nodded and followed Nigar Kalfa out of the main room, throwing one last frightened look behind me, to the girls I left behind at the table. Nigar Kalfa led out to the halls and into the Royal Wing, where she stopped at an elaborate door, flanked by two silk clad servants. She knocked, and moments later, a voice called for them to enter, the girls opened the doors, allowing us to enter. Nigar Kalfa led me in, stopping in front of a raised area, surrounded by low couches of rich fabric, a metal table, beautifully crafted in the middle of the space. Sitting on the couch, closest to us, was Hürrem Sultan, with her youngest son, Şehzadeh Selim, happily gurgling on her lap. Nigar Kalfa bowed respectfully, as I did.
"My Sultana, I have brought Mihrişah Hatun, as you requested." I bowed again, respectfully, acknowledging her call, not daring to look up, my eyes on her slippered feet. I had seen her briefly several times, I didn't have to look up to see the red-headed lady, of pretty features made beautiful by the silks and the jewellery given by the Sultan and as prerogative as mother of princes. She was silent at first, measuring me. Maybe assessing whether I was worthy of fearing or a mere Cariyes who had luck.
"Mihrişah Hatun." Her voice was sweet, not a sweetness that came from character/personality, a creepy sweetness that meant she was faking it, purposefully. "Are you well? Does life in the harem please you?" She asked politely, in the same tone, as if she really wanted to know and cared for my answers. I was smart enough to understand it was quite the opposite. She cared less about me or my comfort. However, I would play along, for the moment.
"It is a shock, but we are all well cared for, the kalfas and aghas are kind enough." I reply politely. Then I shoot something that would disturb her. "As a noble tribute, I'm glad to maintain a reasonable lifestyle, close to that which I grew up with. I'm thankful for that." I schooled my expression, despite the insane urge to smirk. Hürrem was discomfited by my revelation. Had she been a Cariyes such as myself at that moment, my standing would be higher than hers. It didn't last, she recovered quickly, yet her smile soured.
"I'm glad to hear." She commented bitterly, no longer hiding behind a façade of polite sweetness and fake caring. She sat up straight, while holding the baby up, not flaunting him but making sure I can see she's the mother of Şehzadehs, while I'm a mere nobody. "Yesterday's celebration…you gave quite a spectacle." To anyone else, it would be a compliment, yet her deadpan voice gave away the hint it was anything other than a compliment. I bowed, as if recognising it as a compliment and accepting it, to her gall.
"Valide Sultan required entertainment, so I complied. I danced to the best of my abilities." I answered innocently, not seeing how the Kadin's eyes flashed dangerously.
"I meant the scene with our lord, not the dance." She hissed dangerously. The baby began to fuss, one of her ladies approached the kadin and took him away. She rose slowly, like a lioness stalking her prey. I remained where I stood, head down, not giving in to her intimidation. Whatever happened in that moment, all of the witnesses would indubitably take Hürrem Sultan's side. There was no chances of me fighting back to live another day, if things went down badly. I had no defence, all I could do was pray for the best. I felt her approach, towering over me and looking down on me, both due to her height and her status and kadin. "Do you truly believe a trick like that would get you anywhere near the Golden Path?" Well, no, but one could hope it would. "You are naïve if you believed for one second, Suleyman would be enchanted by a mere pretty face, throwing herself at him." She hissed as she walked around me, similar to the hunting lioness I had first thought she resembled.
"It was a mere accident." It was the truth and I couldn't help but defend myself. Nigar Kalfa said nothing. She wasn't even looking at us. Her eyes were locked somewhere in front of her. The scene unfolding meant nothing to her.
"I saw something that tells me otherwise! You did it on purpose!" I jumped, for she had yelled straight into my ear, leaving them ringing and barely able to hear what came next. "The Golden Path is closed to the likes of you. No one else will ever walk the path from the harem to the Sultan's room, without my consent. And you are not worth his time." She sighed and returned to her couch, plopping down ungracefully. "The faster you understand this, the better for you. Such disappointment can break your heart, it's better to safeguard it for the future." She said it kindly, the smile returning to her face, satisfied by her threats and feeling better with herself. She waved her hand, signalling the end of the meeting. Nigar Kalfa bowed, I followed her example before leaving behind her. As we returned to the main room, Nigar Kalfa gave me her own warnings.
"Beware of all you do and say." She was always kind to us Cariyes, despite being on Hürrem Sultan's side. Whenever she was free from her duties to the kadin and other duties of the harem, she would help us with our lessons and talking to us friendly. Hürrem was said to be cruel to her servants, especially Nigar Kalfa, but they said her kindness shadowed said cruelty. "The kadins protect their place and their children's inheritances. They tolerate no competition, even from each other. Whenever someone tries to rise, they work their magic to put them back down." She warned me, although the smile was sad. I wonder if she agreed with all this internal fighting? She suddenly grabbed my arm and I couldn't help but stare at her in surprise. "If you want to keep your life, you must be careful. And don't flaunt anything you receive, whether it is a compliment from us, or the Sultan's attention." She gave me a pointed look. "There's no telling whether yesterday's situation will get you anywhere near the Golden Path, the Sultan is unpredictable and so are the sultanas. Remember, do not flaunt it. Have someone at your back, in the case you become lucky." Immediately, I thought of Nilüfer. Husni and Fatma were good people, but unable to be as stealthy or subtle. Nilüfer, however, had already been living in the harem when we arrived. She was suited to help me, in the even Sultan desired to have my company.
Upon returning to the main room, my friends came to me, ushering me to the couches where they had been sewing and mending clothing. Their curiosity shone in their eyes, like gems under sunlight for too long. Smiling came easier around them. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Efsun rise from where she had been sitting, among Gözde and coming to sit with us. They all picked up their work, Husni giving me material to work on as well, from a basket sitting neatly at her side. I tried not to grin, feeling them tremble in barely contained excitement. I was quiet, beginning the stitches required to mend a particular hole on a brown silk gown, but the silence lasted few moments. Husni was incapable of waiting for me to approach the subject.
"Are you going to stay quiet all night?" She complained, and I giggled at her exasperation. "Come, tell us what happened." I looked up from the brown fabric, all eyes were on me, work long forgotten on their laps, waiting eagerly for gossip. I sighed, might as well speak.
"Nothing much." I said in a bored tone, concentrating on my stitches, trying to maintain an even and invisible seam. "She complimented me on the dancing and told me I'm not walking the Golden Path. Ever." I resumed the conversation in few words. There was not much to tell, no juicy details for them to dissect and discuss and comment. Efsun nodded, as if she had known all along.
"I had told you. No one walks the Golden Path without her consent." Nilüfer's expression was strange, she was crestfallen.
"I hoped you'd be the one to break through the russelana's hold on the Sultan." She sighed, sad that her hopes had been destroyed. I was confused by her remark.
"Why me?" I asked, wondering where that hope had come from, and hoping myself for clarification. She shrugged before answering.
"I had a feeling, that's all." And that was the worst answer I could receive. No amount of pressure would make her spill the details linking to the 'feeling' she had. She wouldn't budge. It aroused my suspicions, so I confronted her later, while we prepared to retire for the night
"Nilüfer." I used a stern tone, implying I wouldn't settle for half sentences, mere feelings and vague ideas. "You can fool the others, but I've watched you too long to know there's more than a mere feeling." Looking straight into her eyes, waiting, I stood there, unmoving. Willing her to share whatever she hid. She sighed, finally succumbing, and beckoned me to sit on my bedroll.
"No, it's mostly a feeling." She confirmed. "But, also, you weren't aware, Valide Sultan watched you dance very closely. Hatice Sultan followed your every movement as well. I wondered why, so I asked one of the Valide Sultan's servant and they mentioned both have been plotting something. What they are planning, she wasn't able to find out." I had been minding my performance, I did see them watching me but I gave it little importance. Apparently, it was more than watching. They had been evaluating me.
"Do you think…?" I wasn't sure of what to ask, Nilüfer understood my hesitation and shrugged.
"Only time will tell." She answered my unsaid question. I sighed and ended the conversation by getting in bed. Sleep eluded me, my mind full of questions of all kinds. I hoped the answers would appear when the sun rose.