Chapter 11

"I'm…pregnant?" I asked, wondering whether I was listening right, or my ears were playing tricks. Surely it was too much for Allah to grant me…right?

"Another child for the Dynasty." Valide sighed happily. "Ah, you have accomplished much in the little time you've been with us." She looked proud, being her personal project, so to speak, my achievements would be hers. "I'm sure my lion will be even happier when he hears this news." Nilüfer couldn't help but giggle.

"Yes, my Valide…" I couldn't help, my cheeks burned up all of a sudden, when I imagined Suleyman's reaction to this news. The happiness of the moment was dulled when Sümbul Agha arrived, expression grave. The good news were forgotten momentarily, bringing us back to the serious crisis occurring within the Topkapi Palace. Chills ran down my spine, fearing the news brought by the usually cheerful agha.

"The intruder?" Valide Sultan demanded, displeasure clear in her stance and voice. Daye and Sümbul exchanged worried looks, before addressing the older lady.

"Valide…" Sümbul began speaking, in that particular manner of his, as if trying to deliver the news without it sounding as bad as it was. "The aghas and kalfas are still searching, no corner shall remain unchecked!" He guaranteed, but his answer was understood without saying it. We're still searching every nook and corner. Daye Hatun nodded.

"I have ordered security to be tightened,. The Cariyes and Gözde are kept in the main room watched by several kalfas and doubled the aghas at every entrance. I took the liberty to send a message to each of the kadins and warn them from leaving the Royal Wing until the situation is cleared." Daye Hatun continued, numbering the steps they took, while the search continued. Valide Sultan nodded, pleased by their actions. Her attention turned to me. I must've looked dreadful, since she patted my hand gently.

"You shall remain in the infirmary for the rest of the day." She told me sternly, looking at the harem doctor while she gave more instructions. "If you are with child, then it is imperative you are safeguarded. You'll be here, and rest, recover your strength under the doctor's watch. Daye Hatun" Valide turned to the older woman with a serious expression. "I entrust Mihrişah to you. When she's better, bring her to my chambers, regardless of the meetings occurring at the moment." I nodded, smiling as the wheels turned inside my head. Whatever meetings she would have, I'd witness them all. This was another of those rare opportunities. From time to time, Valide Sultan gathered the kadins and their children in her chambers, a sort of family reunion. She enjoyed seeing her grandchildren, hoping also to maintain a modicum of control over the warring women. Mahidevran would behave as expected of her as Bas-Kadin, but Hürrem was less prone to maintaining proper decorum expected of the sultan's wives. I had never been called, even to serve. "Anything you need shall be provided. The child will be your priority, and everything else will have to wait." I realised she meant Hürrem and her schemes.

"I understand, my Valide." I bowed my head in acknowledgement. Pleased by my acquiescence, she rose and left, leaving me in the care of the harem doctor. Daye Hatun spoke briefly to the woman before heading out as well.

"I'll come to escort you when you are released." She told me warmly as she headed out. I couldn't believe my luck! In awe, I gently prodded my (still) flat stomach, wondering when I'd see the bump. The harem doctor returned to her duties, leaving me to my reverie. Finding out my pregnancy drowned everything else, the panic of seeing my brother beheaded for entering the palace, being accused of treason for simply being his sibling…nothing worried me for the time I was in the infirmary, digesting the news. I didn't even care when the doctor decided to keep me for the night, in order to monitor my health closely. Secure in the infirmary, I slept peacefully, like I had never slept before. Daye Hatun showed up the next morning, while I dressed up.

"Good morning, Mihrişah Hatun." She greeted with a smile. I bowed respectfully, greeting her back. "Doctor, is Mihrişah well enough to join us?" She addressed the smiling woman.

"I consider her fit to leave, but I would be more at ease if she comes from time to time, only to ensure a safe pregnancy." I had heard her admonitions to be cautious and what or what not to eat, the dangers of too much physical labour, and other warnings that may have gone in through one ear and out through the other. So the suggestion was not really anything surprising to me. Daye Hatun nodded in agreement.

"I believe Valide Sultan would suggest the same, we must ensure the safety of both mother and child." Daye seconded the doctor's idea, before bidding her good day and ushering me out. She led me through the halls, and when we reached the double doors of the harem's main room, we were surrounded by the other Cariyes and Gözde.

"Mihrişah! Is it true?" One of the Cariyes, Fehride, asked excitedly.

"Are you expecting?" One of the Gözde asked. They started chattering happily, not waiting for me to answer. I smiled, amused by their reaction and peeked at Daye Hatun, who remained silent and waiting.

"I'm with child, yes." I announced, hand over my flat stomach. "Allah willing, I'll give birth this Autumn." I realised then and there I had been away from my family for nearly six to seven months…seemed like another lifetime.

"Another child!" One of the Cariyes gushed. "The nursery will fill, this way!" One of the older Gözde scoffed at the girl's excitement.

"As if there will be many!" She sneered. "Hürrem Sultan doesn't like rivals. Be them children or the mothers!" Daye Hatun scowled at the woman, who shrank back at the glare sent her way. The older woman's imposing aura silenced the crowd of excited women, dampening the mood considerably.

"Enough. Valide Sultan is waiting." Daye scattered the congregation with one wave of her staff, ordering kalfas to remain vigilant. We headed straight to Valide's chambers and, once we reached the door, Hürrem Sultan walked up to us, Mihrimah Sultan and Şehzadeh Mehmed by her side. I bowed, albeit reluctantly, and smiled at the children. "My Sultana." Daye greeted politely, not that she liked the younger woman. "Are you visiting Valide?"

"Yes, I am greeting Valide Sultan. She will enjoy the visit of her grandchildren." Hürrem said politely, but her politeness couldn't hide her arrogance and pride. Daye nodded and knocked on the door. It was opened almost immediately and we allowed Hürrem to enter first, as befitting her position. Valide gushed over the children, who ran to her side and clamoured for her attention. Hürrem stood proudly, glancing at me as if saying You'll never reach my level. How wrong she was! Daye Hatun bowed and walked up to Valide's side.

"My Valide, Mihrişah is here as requested." She announced and I stepped next to her. The older woman smiled up at me.

"How are you today?" She was solicitous, her attention half divided between me and the children.

"Better, my Valide." I caressed my belly fondly. "The nausea bothers me, but I'm anxious to tell my lord the good news." Hürrem looked around, from Valide to Daye, then to me, bewildered.

"Good news?" The question was polite but sharp. Apparently the news hadn't reached her and it gave me pleasure to tell her.

"I'm with child. Allah willing, Sultan will have another Şehzadeh." I told her sweetly, enjoying her face turn bitter. Valide watched us, amused by Hürrem's change of expression. She didn't rebuke me for saying I'll have a Sehzade.

"How nice." She tried to sound happy, but didn't make much effort in that sense. "May you have a happy hour."

"Thank you, my Sultana." Displaying gratefulness towards her words, I bowed, keepings my hands on my belly, relishing on the atmosphere of the room. Valide looked proud and amused, Daye smiled a little, while the kadin displayed a bitter countenance. Her unhappiness is the just desserts for bringing chaos to an already chaotic harem. And pay back for the lack of respect for everyone, save Suleyman.

Two days passed, and Sümbul Agha was forced to face Valide Sultan empty handed. I sat on a pillow, next to Gülfem, when Daye and Sümbul arrived, both looking irritated. Valide, who had been chatting and joking, sat straight and glared at the two standing before her.

"Well?" She demanded, her anger presenting itself. "Have you found the intruder?" My heart skipped a beat. Had they found my brother? Was he dead? Theories ran amok in the seraglio, despite the good news. Luckily, no one linked me to the criminal. However, they did whisper it had been a plot from Hürrem Sultan to get rid of me. She was the most suspicious person in the harem, and her history didn't go in her favour. Even Valide Sultan questioned on her potential involvement in the affair, but nothing could be proved. Hürrem had grown angry at the suspicion and stormed out.

"Whoever entered, has managed to escape before we tightened security, my Valide." Sümbul Agha declared, in his flamboyant manner. "Either that, or he was aided by someone within." They dared not accuse anyone openly. There was no proof, despite having the name in their heads. And I was sure the same name went through everyone's head at the same time. Still, I breathed in relief. Brother had left safely, nothing else mattered. Valide, however, was displeased.

"Such invasion is an affront!" She all but growled, furious. "I want to know how this happened. Where is the weakness in our security! And pray Sultan hasn't learnt of this." She threatened. Sümbul Agha put a hand on his neck, as if to protect it from the axe, which would definitely separate head from body if the Sultan ever found out.

"Grand Vizier Ibrahim has already found out and is currently interviewing aghas and halberdiers with the Has Odabashi." Daye said, somewhat disturbed. I guess she was one of the unlucky ones to face Lord Ibrahim's wrath. Valide rubbed her temples, maybe feeling the incoming headache. Once Ibrahim knew, then Suleyman would too.

"Do not slack security on the harem." Valide sighed, losing the impetus of her anger. She waved in their direction, a clear dismissal. But neither moved. Daye looked at Sümbul, who smiled nervously.

"Valide…" He began, to her annoyance.

"What is it now?" She barked. I wondered what could be so important for Sümbul to risk the older woman's wrath.

"Sultan has called Mihrişah Hatun to serve him tonight." He announced, his eyes settling on me. My heart skipped another beat, the good way. A silly smile rose and I felt a hand grasping mine. Gülfem was encouraging me, in her quiet, gentle way. Valide sighed and waved him to leave, so we three could speak. She was displeased, but resigned.

"I don't like the idea of you serving tonight." She said suddenly, criticising the Sultan's decision. "But he has ordered, so it will be."

"Is it you opinion that I shouldn't attend our lord?" I hazarded a guess, by the way she spoke of the subject. I had asked Valide Sultan her opinion, since her word, to me, was wise and all knowing. She was the leader of the harem and knew more than my lower, but noble, self.

"You must announce your pregnancy." She told me imperiously. "But I think one night, as long as you are careful, will not put the child at risk." She had obviously questioned the harem doctor prior to my awakening, no doubt, days ago. She took care of seeing all sides of the subject, and recognised it was a matter of time before I was summoned. No matter how important it was to impair Hürrem's influence on the Sultan, the safety of the future child was much more imperative.

"I shall endeavour to take precautions in my time with the Sultan." I assured. "I believe our Lord knows how to behave, once I tell him." She nodded in agreement. Suleyman had had several children already, the news would be welcomed with joy. He was not a bumbling fool of a husband, but a wise man who cherished his women.

"In our culture, a mother does not lay with the husband during the pregnancy." Valide observed, breaking through my reverie. "It is custom to safeguard the child. As you need to tell him, one last night won't be a problem." She said, before dismissing me. Walking back to the harem, I decided I had to make a statement, so I asked Nilüfer and Metike their help to prepare for my encounter. We were picky with the choices from my chest. We spread the gowns I owned around the room, pouring over my casket of jewellery in order to choose the best pieces and the nicest gown I owned. My ensemble for the occasion was a new gown of teal Bursa silk, recently finished by the harem seamstresses, along with long sapphire earrings, and a sapphire and ruby necklace, the latest of Suleyman's gifts to me. My hair was curled and a new perfume applied to the best points, so Suleyman could enjoy the scent while he covered me with his breath taking kisses. I was too nervous to eat properly, despite Nilüfer's continuous pleas to take one bite of broth and bread. I was unable to swallow anything, as my stomach was too unsettled.

"You must eat!" She insisted, holding the small tray in her hands in my direction. "You must keep your strength." I shook my head and took steps back.

"I'm afraid of throwing up on Sultan's shoes." I told her, half joking, half whining. Nilüfer giggled and put away the tray, knowing it was useless to press the subject further.

"Fine, as you wish." She walked around me and straightened my gown, fiddled with the locks of my hair, little things to disguise her nervousness. Then she stopped, stepping away and nodding approvingly. She was stalling, and so was I. "Ready?"

"Not really, but we should go." I told her. She would be my only attendant that night. We walked out of my chambers and descended to the main area. The girls surrounded us briefly.

"Good luck Mihrişah." One of the Cariyes called out, her words echoed by the others with sincerity. Nilüfer's eyes glowed with joy. I could see, as she had, they thought me as the one who would possibly give them the chance to be called to the Golden Road. I was one of them, unlike Hürrem, who strove to be above them at all times.

"Thank you." I was truly grateful for their words, but we had to go. Suleyman waited, and one should never make the Sultan wait upon us. Nilüfer squeezed my arm gently, a silent gesture of support while we walked. Ibrahim Pasha received us at the door. But something odd happened. Hürrem arrived just after us, forcing Nilüfer and I to put our backs to the wall and bow. From under my eyelashes, I watched her smug expression.

"Hürrem Sultan." Ibrahim greeted politely. She grinned. "The Sultan has called someone for company, you should come tomorrow." He warned, preventing her from entering unannounced. From her expression, those words didn't faze her.

"He will receive me!" She told him with absolute confidence. I bristled. It was my time! She's doing it on purpose! Sultan rarely denies her anything, even his presence! Ibrahim Pasha simply sent one of the Aghas to inform Sultan of her presence, and he returned as quickly as he had left.

"Sultan wishes Mihrişah Hatun's presence, Sultana." The Agha said softly, undaunted by the message and the recipient. Hürrem's expression grew riotous. "He bids you return to the Royal Wing."

"Liar!" She yelled, immediately losing her patience. Nigar Kalfa was among Hürrem's entourage, and when she tried to intervene, the Sultana gave her a chilling glare. She turned to the Agha and scowled. "He'll see me! Suleyman!" She yelled, trying to walk through the barrier the Aghas created to block the entrance. Ibrahim Pasha was also losing his patience, as she wouldn't cease her yelling.

"Aghas!" He snapped, and I feared the disturbance would reach Suleyman before the Grand Vizier managed to evict the kadin from the hall. "Take Hürrem Sultan back to her room." He ordered, and the Aghas from the entourage wasted no time to obey. Gently but firmly, they grabbed her arms and dragged her away, creating a disgraceful sight. The woman continued yelling, even after leaving our sight, her voice echoing through the colonnades back to the harem. Ibrahim sighed and gestured for me to enter, stepping back to free the path to Sultan's door. Both Aghas returned to their post.

"Thank you, Ibrahim Pasha." My head hurt a bit from the chaotic encounter, but I didn't allow that to stop me from seeing Suleyman. Nilüfer whispered a 'Good luck!' from my back, which gave me strength. I walked up to the closed door, my cold hands twisting one of the large glimmering sleeves of my elegant gown. I hadn't felt so nervous since my first meeting with Sultan. The aghas opened the doors, and closed them behind me as I entered the Sultan's private chamber. He stood in the centre of the room, back to me. Overwhelmed, I knelt with my head bowed. I could barely stand from the nerves wreaking havoc across my body and mind. Suddenly, his feet entered my line of sight, and before I could think I grabbed the hem of his kaftan and brought it first to my lips, then to my forehead. His hand grabbed my chin gently, pulling me back to my feet. Looking up, I saw blue eyes shining in amusement and curiosity. I had only done this once, on the first night I spend with him.

"Are you well?" He asked, amusement colouring his words. I had my eyes on his lips, watching more than listening. "This is unlike you, my sun." His hands brushed my arms, from shoulder to wrists and back up again. The warm gesture emboldened me, giving me the same courage as several goblets of the finest wine. I gave him my most radiant smile.

"I am well." I told him, hands on his chest, silently enjoying the feeling of his hard muscles under the expensive and luxurious silk. "I have visited the doctor, as you suggested." He frowned.

"Are you ill?" He asked, concerned. "You were very nauseous for several days. Do you have any stomach ailment?" I giggled and shook my head.

"No, my lord." I didn't want to tiptoe about the subject anymore. I grabbed his hands in mine and put them on my stomach, over my womb. His eyes widened slightly, lowering to look at where I had placed his hands before looking at me, expectantly. He searched my grinning expression, waiting for the words. "I'm pregnant. Our child will be here by Autumn!" Suleyman was a quiet man, his joy was expressed calmly, unlike the fireworks that graced Istanbul's skies on certain festivals. That day, however, I saw another side of Suleyman. His laughter was louder, like bells tolling happily throughout the room. I was shocked and thrilled when he picked me up and twirled me around the room, as we both laughed. He held me in the air, as if I was a great treasure he had been granted by Allah, or maybe the sun, rescued by his hands from the dark clouds covering the skies. Once my feet were back on the ground, he gathered me in his arms, kissing my lips repeatedly. His kisses were filled with urgency, love, joy, and quickly turned to lust and desire. We both hungered for one another. But we also needed air to live, so we had to part our lips and pant, to recover from the feverish celebratory kissing. Forehead to forehead, our eyes met joyously, neither looking away.

"My Mihrişah…" Those words sounded loving, happy. "You have made me happy, in a way only you can." Oh Suleyman…no one is as happy as I am at this moment!

"I live for you, my lord." I spoke, my hands leaving his chest to touch my abdomen, which would grow in the coming months to accommodate the result of our love. "And now, I'll have another reason to live." His large hands cradled my face tenderly.

"Your life will always belong to me." He growled, those beautiful blue eyes shining from the joy. Another kiss, filled with unspoken desire and lust, took my breath away.

"I wouldn't have it in any other way."

That was our last night of love, we knew all too well. We took advantage. No more words flowed between us. Why? We had limited time and we desired one another. This sensual man wished my body and I wished his. We took our time in taking our clothes off, hands never straying from our bodies. His large hands caressed each part of my body, leaving tingling skin where he touched. I lightly traced the scars littering his hardened body as I trailed kisses down his neck. We barely made it to the bed. And there we stayed, embraced tightly in a tangle of sweaty limbs, until the sun rose, greeting us gloriously. There we stayed, to celebrate my state of grace and mourn the months we would not have to love. And there I mourned doubly, for I was uncertain I'd have his love after this. I'd have to fight Hürrem for him, above all others in the harem. I'd push anyone to his bed in her stead to keep her from poisoning his further. Still, no matter how secure I was, Suleyman's love was fickle. I would have to fight to keep it, lest I end up like Mahidevran.

Alone.