Josh sat on the couch in the foyer of the private clinic looking around self-consciously as he chewed his lip. As much as he didn't want to be there, he knew he needed to see Ms. Walker – he was in desperate need of a peaceful night's sleep and he couldn't get that with his nightmares plaguing his dreams. So when Ms. Walker exited her office – escorting someone who looked relieved of whatever burden they'd released – Josh figured maybe seeing a professional wouldn't be too terribly bad.

"Have a good afternoon sir. See you next week." Ms. Walker opened the front door of her home

"Thank you Connie. You have a good rest of your week too." The man cupped Connie's hand in his and smiled appreciatively at the middle aged woman. Josh tried not to watch the interaction – but to see someone who looked genuinely relieved made Josh want that. He needed the peace of mind that he wasn't going crazy.

"And you do the same." Connie waved the gentleman away and when he left her private office, she closed the door softly before turning to Josh. "What is your name?"

"Josh. My mother called earlier this morning." Josh gulped as he felt his nerves acting up. He knew there was nothing to worry over, but for the life of him he just couldn't seem to calm down.

"Ah yes." Connie moved to the door of her inner office. "Do come in and make yourself comfortable."

Josh nodded before he stood and entered Connie's main office.

"Would you like tea, coffee, water?" Connie inquired as she tidied up her desk.

"Tea please." Josh answered, not really wanting tea but getting some in case he needed a drink at all during this session.

Sitting on the couch, Josh wondered whether he was supposed to lie back or do anything that they did in the movies and decided he didn't really want to lie down. He certainly felt tired enough and he didn't want to take a chance of falling asleep during his therapy session. When Connie came back in the room she returned holding a coffee mug with a tea bag in hand for Josh. He accepted the mug of water and tea bag before plunking the tea bag in the hot water.

"So, your mother tells me that you seem troubled, is that right?" Connie picked up a note pad and pen before crossing her legs and resting the notepad on top of her knee. "Please go ahead and start whenever and make yourself comfortable as you see fit."

Josh adjusted on the couch, finding a comfortable position and settling there. Looking down into his tea mug, Josh summoned the courage to speak.

"I'm having nightmares of the fire that happened about four months ago still. It's been making it hard for me to get any sleep." Josh set his mug on the coffee table and reclined in his seat. "Every time I close my eyes I am back at the fire and I can usually feel the heat of the flame as my roommate and I jumped from our bedroom window to escape from the fire."

"I see, so you were victim of the fire also?" Connie inquired softly.

Josh nodded solemnly. "My roommate and I tried to exit out the front door of our room, but the flames pushed us back. We didn't think we'd escape but we decided to jump out the window when my roommate Eddy smashed the glass with his baseball bat."

"How far would you estimate you fell?" Connie asked, trying to get any information she could from Josh.

"Well, the fourth floor is over ten feet and we were on the third floor so probably nine feet." Josh paused as he tried to recall how far he'd fallen. "I broke my wrist and my roommate busted his ankle."

"How did you feel after escaping the fire?" Connie intoned, as she made notes of her session with Josh.

"Numb…I don't really remember how I felt after getting out of the fire. Scared I guess." Josh tried to sort out how he'd felt after the fire.

"What about after you were taken to the hospital to have your injuries treated?" Connie asked as she tried to help her patient any way she could to come to terms with the fire.

"When I was taken to the hospital…I don't really remember. I recall seeing my mom and dad, they held my hand and kept telling me I was going to be okay, but I don't really remember how I felt." Josh said as he shook his head – at a loss for his memories.

"How about how your parents reacted? Do you remember their reactions?" Connie coaxed.

"My mom was crying and my dad kept telling me that I was safe. I don't think I've ever seen them that pale before." Josh recalled the night of the fire and waking up to being squished between his mother and father who were clutching tightly at him as if he'd disappear. "My dad kept placing an oxygen mask back over my mouth when I would knock it off."

"Probably for smoke inhalation." Connie provided.

"I could breathe just fine, I was more concerned for my brothers." Josh admitted as he lifted his mug of tea too his mouth to take a sip.

"So you have siblings that attended Wharton with you?" Connie questioned.

"No, they are actually my friends, really, really close friends in fact and we call ourselves brothers." Josh swallowed. "I can only recall hearing the low whine of the Thunderbird's airships coming down to land after my friends and I were evacuated from the building. After that everything is kind of a blur."

"That's okay. Just tell me what you remember and everything may come back to you gradually." Connie said as she gestured for Josh to continue on.

"Well, starting back where I left off, a couple firefighters carried me and Eddy - my roommate - from the building after we jumped out the window. Neither of us seemed really aware of our surroundings – I guess we were in shock." Josh's eyes seemed to glaze over as he continued recounting his memories of the night of the fire for Connie while she made note of all he could tell her.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Jeff stood at the private airstrip as he waited for Tracy One to land. No matter what his mother did, she could do nothing to stop John, Scott and Gordon from returning from California – cutting their little birthday surprise extravaganza for Gordon to a screeching halt. Bundled in his winter jacket and patting his pockets lightly as he listened to the coins jingle softly, Jeff watched as he noticed Tracy One coming in to land. When it came to a stop, Jeff watched as his sons piled out of the jet – John being the more helpful son and assisting his grandmother down the steps before they all flocked around Jeff.

"How is he?" Scott asked tightly, still feeling put out with his father for having just up and left them in the middle of the night.

"He's better Scott, don't worry. We got his panic under control." Jeff tried to smooth the waters but Scott seemed to be having none of that.

"What happened?" Scott gazed hard at his father as Jeff would normally do in the middle of a business meeting where he was trying to persuade the opposition to go with his side of things.

"Alan experienced his first PTSD episode is all…he was reading the newspaper online and he stumbled across a web article with pictures of the fire. The pictures of the fire set him off and he was overwhelmed by the memories that he'd forgotten." Jeff said as he spoke softly, looking between each of his sons. "He's agreed to see a therapist by web and before I came down here to retrieve you all – Dr. Warner informed me that the group therapy counselor was more than happy to hold council with Alan by web."

"When does he start?" John asked as his grandmother patted his arm.

"Tomorrow…Dr. Warner explained Alan's situation to the counselor and she's apparently concluded that it'd be best to nip this in the bud before Alan suffers a reoccurrence." Jeff shrugged. "Alan wasn't happy about it, but he's agreed to talk to the therapist as long as we don't pressure him or interfere. As he's said, though I can't say I agree – he's a big boy and can make decisions for himself."

"Jeff, you're a big boy as are all your sons and even I don't feel they are ready to make certain decision…that's what being a parent is about. Trust me, Alan is old enough to make decisions regarding his treatment – he'll let you and all of us know if he doesn't want that responsibility any longer. And if he does that, we'll all gladly step in and give him a helping hand." Ruth stepped forward, hugging Jeff when he'd enveloped his mother in a hug. "It's all gonna be okay son. He's a Tracy."

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

"That hurts!" Alan hissed as Karen applied some medicine on the bald spots where Alan had literally ripped chunks of hair from his head. Clutching at his blanket, Alan tried to breathe through the pain.

"Sorry honey, but we want that hair to grow back don't we?" Karen asked as she gently rubbed the medicine into the raw spot. "It'll quit burning in a few minutes."

"Jeez this hurts…" Alan moaned as Karen switched sides to apply the medicine to the other bald spot. "How long will we need to do this Karen?"

"Only until the hair begins to grow back. It'll be maybe three weeks then you'll just notice the hair is downy bird fluff." Karen said as she continued applying the medicine. When she'd finished, she removed the spare gloves she'd put on and gathered her supplies. "I'm going to head on out dear. Is there anything you want me to get for you?"

"No, I'll be fine. Thanks though Karen." Alan gave his and Virgil's nurse a smile that said 'I'm okay' while Karen could see in Alan's eyes the pleading of 'Don't leave me'. Slowly Karen nodded before she left the room, carting her supplies with her. When she left Alan sighed quietly to himself. He wasn't fine…not really. He was scared. He had no memory of his episode the night before, he just remembered looking at the pictures on the internet of the Wharton fire and suddenly the room became really small, hot and it hurt to breathe. He felt dizzy and nauseous and feared that he'd throw up and then the next thing he remembered he was waking up in his father's arms and both his dad and older brother were sound asleep.

Feeling a sense of insecurity, Alan grabbed his laptop and decided to contact one of the few people that was able to ground him in reality aside from John, Fermat and Jem. He glanced at the clock and frowned. She was likely to be asleep right now. Praying quietly to himself Alan gazed heavenward before he contacted Virgil instead. He couldn't awaken Tin-Tin, no matter how many times she told him and Fermat to call at any time.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Virgil idly flipped through the television channels as he tried to find something remotely interesting. Everything was all Valentine's Day reruns and to be honest, Virgil wasn't in much of a lovey dovey mood at present. He hadn't had a girlfriend since he'd left college and to be honest he was having the time of his life working for International Rescue as a single guy. He could do without girls right now. He was just about ready to shut off the tv and try to take a nap when his laptop chimed at him.

Tossing the remote onto the bed beside him, Virgil grabbed his over bed table and opened his laptop so he could see who was calling. He however wasn't expecting Alan to be calling. Accepting the video call, Virgil settled back into his pillows.

"Hey kiddo, how are you doing?" Virgil smiled at his little brother. However like last time, his smile fell away to a frown as he looked at Alan's desperate face. "What's wrong kiddo?"

"Please just talk to me, sing, do something…" Alan's voice trembled in time with his visible shaking and Virgil just started talking about the little intricate details of Thunderbird Two, without openly addressing it as such. He could see that Alan was feeling insecure, from what Virgil didn't know but he knew Alan got like this sometimes – even before the fire landed him and Fermat in the hospital.

"Al, what's wrong?" Virgil paused in telling Alan about all the plans he had for Thunderbird Two to ask his youngest brother what was on his mind, why he was so skittish at present.

"I don't want to be alone Virge." Alan admitted, not caring that he was going against his rules. He was scared and lonely damn it and he was entitled to a couple childish fears.

"Al, I can't come back over…you know that. Last night was just a fluke." Virgil said knowing that Alan was hoping Virgil could come to keep him company. "Your immunity is low right now Alan…so is mine. If I come back over you or I could very well catch something that would be detrimental to our health. Even the sniffles could land either of us in the ICU. We can't risk it little brother.

"Then what am I supposed to do? I can't handle this Virgil!" Alan looked at Virgil with the puppy pout and Virgil closed his eyes as he tried to resist the puppy pout. Alan always was good at using the puppy pout to get what he wanted.

"Just stay on the line with me. I could use the company. There's nothing on the TV and I'm bored." Virgil suggested as an out for Alan to no longer be alone.

"So did you just want to talk or…?" Alan asked, finally seeing the point in what Virgil was saying.

"Actually, I was thinking of asking dad if I could get a set of drums. What do you think?" Virgil asked, knowing he actually wouldn't be the one using them. Alan was constantly drumming his fingers or a pencil on the table when he was home and Virgil had watched as Alan had managed to create a rhythm all his own and Virgil had put piano music to it and it seemed to work. "Create the Tracy brothers band, what do you say?"

"You're not good at drumming, why would you want drums?" Alan asked with a question.

"Ah, I've been practicing…with pens and pencils mind you but I think I'm getting better." Virgil said with a smile.

"Prove it." Alan asked, wanting to see if Virgil was correct.

"Fine." Virgil picked up a couple pencils from his art kit and moved the computer back a little on the table so he'd have room to maneuver. "Here go's."

Virgil started slowly but picked up a beat and he could see Alan bobbing his head and was glad he was able to distract his little brother a little bit. Like expected, Alan had begun drumming his finger tips on the table where his laptop sat and Virgil knew it'd be a good idea to get something more that could entice Alan's artistic side also. Alan could play the piano also, but he didn't like it as much as Virgil and while he could also play the guitar somewhat it never really seemed to interest Alan…drumming was just something Alan had always done and Virgil wondered if getting a drum set for Alan to play with when he was back home would be something worthwhile. The kid had been able to demonstrate the ability to rap once, Virgil was shocked and Gordon had laughed at what Alan was rapping about but none of their other brothers could speak nearly as fast as Alan could and that took skill. Apparently either Alan just had a lot of time on his hands when he was away at school or he had a natural talent to find the beat in anything and go with it.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Gordon sat on his bed in the hotel room, looking around sadly. Scott just told him that they'd planned on returning home for a few days, but now those plans had been nixed. None of the boys wanted to leave again for fear that Alan might need them like he'd needed their dad the night before Gordon wouldn't lie, he missed home. He missed the sun, the warmth, having his bed to himself, he missed his pool, Onaha's cooking, Onaha, Kyrano and Tin-Tin…he even missed the smell of the ocean, but most of all he missed Alan. Virgil would be able to come out of the hospital here in the next week and a half, but that just couldn't be soon enough for Gordon.

The redhead contemplated contacting Alan via computer, but he feared disturbing Alan. The kid would need his rest and he couldn't exactly get that if he wasn't sleeping. No, he decided he'd go down for a swim and see if he couldn't distress a little. If he didn't do something constructive he'd go insane. His brothers might beg to differ and say he lost it when he played his first prank, but Gordon had to do something. He was suffering from withdrawals.

Going over to the foot of his bed, he pulled out duffel and began riffling through it when it occurred to him that he was going through Scott's bag. Gordon didn't want to be given a swirly for snooping through his brother's things and he started to sip it closed before his eye caught on Alan's photo album.

Feeling he needed a laugh, Gordon pulled out the book and found a seat next to the window. He opened it to a random page and immediately began laughing. If he'd been drinking something he'd have likely spit it out at the sight of the picture. Alan was quite the character and with the computer that had been destroyed in the fire – Alan was able to create all sort of funny memories. Gordon knew from having participated in it once with Alan that his younger brother and Fermat were doing the photo booth challenge.

'Alan looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger…oh my God.' Gordon covered his mouth to stifle a laugh as he flipped through the pictures of Alan wearing sun glasses and a strong chin. Gordon barked out another laugh at Alan and Fermat doing something called swirl…it made Alan and Fermat have freakishly long fingers."Oh kiddo, we've got to sit down and do that again sometime. I had a blast."

"Talking to yourself in your old age already Gordo?" John asked as he closed the hotel room door.

"Oh shut up." Gordon said good naturedly. "Just making plans for me and Alan is all."

"Uh-oh…should any of us fear for our lives?" John said as he claimed a seat beside Gordon.

"No, not unless you count me and Alan goofing off in front of the computer to be life threatening." Gordon replied as he flipped to the next page. "I wish dad would begin to homeschool Alan…he and I would have so much fun doing this together."

"What?" John looked over Gordon's shoulder to see what his brother was talking about.

"Doing these goofy internet challenges. He's doing the baby food challenge in this photo I'm looking at." Gordon chuckled warmly as he looked at the picture of Alan. His kid brother's eyes were clamped shut as he stuck his tongue out making signature yuck face. Alan was holding up mushed peas in a baby food jar and it was obvious from the look on Alan's face that it tasted terrible.

"From what I recall, baby food does taste terrible." John said as he recalled when Alan was a baby and refused to eat baby food. He'd always preferred a bottle over baby food and John had tried the monkey see monkey do and he'd eaten a bite of Alan's baby food and he thought it tasted disgusting.

"It does…I've tried it at least once and I can understand why babies don't like to eat the stuff. If I ever have any kids, they won't be getting any of the crap…a bit of homemade stuff will be good." Gordon said.

"Right, like you're going to go to the store and buy the ingredients you need to make that stuff for any kids you have…I'll feel bad for the poor kids." John said. "Formula will be just fine in my book."

"Dude, why are we talking about having kids in the future? Shouldn't we have like girlfriends or wives first before we begin talking about that stuff?" Gordon made a face and continued looking through the pictures in the album. "Are you nervous?"

"Hmm? About what?" John said as he looked at his brother questioningly.

"Well, when you get to have your surgery to help Alan out…you hate needles, so aren't you scared or worried?" Gordon asked as he lifted his gaze from the photo album to gaze at John.

"Well, yeah. Kinda." It's not really the needles I'm afraid of though…it's more the fear that Alan's body could refuse the skin donation I make. That Alan could contract Graft VS Host Disease, that Alan will be in worse pain than I could ever imagine being in…who am I kidding? That's why Alan is on the cocktail of pain meds is to manage the pain from the burns." John let his hands hang limply between his knees. "I'm terrified, but not of the needles or the actual surgery…it's just everything."

"Do you think Alan's changed?" Gordon asked timidly. He feared in the beginning that this whole travesty with Alan and Fermat being burned in the fire would change Alan for the worst and now he was really beginning to wonder if Alan would ever be the same again.

"I don't know kid…there are times that I don't think he's changed then there are other times where I look at him and wonder who he is. I think that if Alan begins seeing that therapist tomorrow, hopefully she'll begin to open up a world for Alan so that he can better adjust with himself as the victim rather than the hero." John draped an arm over Gordon's shoulders before looking at the pictures with his younger brother. "God, Alan is going to be having so much fun when he gets back home if we can get him to do some of those internet challenges with us. That looks like fun."

"Oh I know. The two of us did the Mentos and Coca-Cola challenge and we thought we were going to die." Gordon said, smirking playfully. "It was a good thing we were outside or else Onaha would have had our heads."

"Why what happened?" John asked, interested in the result.

"For one Alan had three Mentos in his mouth and the soda's carbonation combined with the fizzy properties of the Mentos caused Alan to spit a fountain of foam out of his mouth. I got a soda shower and it's not exactly the type of thing I want to experience again." Gordon remarked. "Then Alan felt like he wanted to puke the rest of the evening because he swallowed some of the Mentos and Coca-Cola and it was just fizzing the rest of the night. Kid went to bed without dinner because he felt so miserable. He had to deal with a stomach ache and didn't feel better until morning."

"When was this?" John asked whilst hiding a grin, trying to imagine Alan and Gordon doing this…he could easily picture Alan and Gordon doing this. "Where was I with the tub of popcorn for this show?

"Alan was thirteen soon to be fourteen, he came home for Thanksgiving break and we got this wonderful idea to try a couple of internet challenges." Gordon replied. "You actually hadn't come back from Five yet, Scott and Virgil had gone up to retrieve you and dad flew out to retrieve grandma, so he left Alan and I to our own devices."

"I'm surprised he did, knowing you and Alan could easily have pulled a prank on any one of us." John murmured, before understanding dawned in his eyes. "Wait I remember now! I came home with Virge and Scott and Alan seemed a bit peaky. He told grandma and dad that he had a stomach ache and Grandma wanted to give him some type of medicine that has some type of gross name like cod liver oil or something."

"It was something, but Alan wasn't having any of that. He told Grandma that he ate his lunch too fast or no, we told grandma and dad that the both of us pigged out on candy and that Alan ate too much too fast. We both got chewed out, but Alan didn't have to be told twice and he went to bed." Gordon smirked as he recalled the memory, that was not long after he'd been released from the hospital himself and surprisingly their dad had trusted Gordon who had still been using a walker to get around to keep an eye on his little brother…or more like their dad asked Alan to keep an eye on Gordon, to keep him from overexerting himself. "Maybe Allie and I can include you in another internet challenge after Allie gets out of the hospital."

"I'd like that…very much in fact. Being up on five keeps me from you guys so frequently and I'll admit I often miss you guys terribly. I look forward to Alan calling me when he's at school because it's usually just the two of us talking for hours. Sometimes we'll include Fermat, but other times it's just Alan in his room talking to me. Then you, I like that you'll sometimes give me a call just to talk about how your day has been, what pranks you pulled on Virge or Scotty. It makes being away from home easier."

Gordon looked at his older brother with a sympathetic look. Time and again both of his blonde brothers were gone from the house, and often Gordon wondered why. He knew John was the space monitor so he had to be up on Five, but Alan…he could easily have been homeschooled like Gordon had been his sophomore year of high school. It hadn't been that long after they'd moved to the island and Alan actually was still living with their grandma back in Kansas. Gordon had told his dad point blank that he hadn't wanted to be sent to a boarding school and his dad had agreed – begrudgingly. But Gordon had been home schooled his sophomore year and then felt ready to go to a boarding school the following year, that was when Alan returned and he too had been sent to a boarding school.

Neither he nor Alan were permitted to room together then, because of the vast age difference and Gordon feels that was one reason why Alan hates boarding school so much. He wasn't permitted to be in close proximity to his brothers and he hardly ever saw him because of their differing schedules. That and even then Alan was picked on because he was very shy. When Gordon was near Alan came alive, but when he was by himself people could hardly get a word out of him.

"Do you ever regret saying yes to be the main host of Thunderbird Five?" Gordon asked as he looked at his brother – the cogs visibly turning.

"Yeah, there are times I do, but other times I don't. It's lonely, makes me miss you all so very much and sometimes it drives me crazy being able to see you only by vid but then there are times I don't. Like on holidays where I get to come home to see you guys, it makes me value having little brothers and one big brother to welcome me back or birthdays. It makes the occasion all that more special." John said as he leaned his head back against the back of the couch. "Sometimes I feel like the luckiest guy in the world and other times I wonder why me?"

"Do you think that's how Allie feels when he's away at school?" Gordon pondered Alan's feelings, trying to understand his little brother's thoughts without being able to ask him to clarify. "Sometimes like he's the luckiest guy in the world and other times like he wonders why?"

"I don't know Gordo. To understand Alan is sometimes like trying to figure out a complex puzzle, you know a piece goes in one spot but there are so many similar pieces that you wonder which the right one is. Alan can be unpredictable. He can believe something one minute and find it to be garbage the next. That's just Alan. I'm sure he's learned to like boarding school because of the friendships he's made but I know he doesn't like boarding school because he misses his family like I do or more."

"Why does our life have to be so weird John?" Gordon asked as he flipped to the next page of the photo album.

"I don't know, but I don't think I'd trade any of it. All families are dysfunctional and ours is no different. Just because we're the sons of Jeff Tracy, doesn't make us better than the rest or make us more normal. We are who we are." John looked away as he tried to imagine how their lives might be different had life not dealt them such a cruel fate by taking their mother from them at such a crucial age. Alan was still just a baby, barely potty trained fully and still wearing training pants to bed because he still had occasional accidents. Gordon had been just about ready to enter kindergarten and he hadn't yet had his mom walk him to the bus stop and kiss him good bye while she waved the bus off with tears in her eyes. Virgil had been in the third grade and he'd been preparing for his class spelling bee in his age bracket. John himself was in the fifth grade while Scott had been in sixth. Both of them were in sports at their age and they'd both wanted their mother to come to their games and cheer for them from the sidelines. Life hadn't been fair to them, but that was life. Thing were dealt in strange ways for strange reasons. There was no rhyme or reason.