Alan lay in his bed listlessly. Due to the move and change in plans, Alan's appointment with the shrink had been moved up a little later in the afternoon. He was not at all happy to hear the news that had been bestowed upon him, but it's not like there was much he could do now to fix it. He himself had no idea how it was that he'd contracted a staph infection, but life could be cruel when it wanted to be and boy did it want to be. Hadn't he suffered enough?

It was a little after four in the afternoon when Alan's laptop chimed. He spared a glance at the laptop and contemplated whether or not to open it or not. Deciding to humor who it was contacting him, Alan reached over and grabbed the over bed table and pulled it over his lap to activate his laptop. He however wasn't expecting Josh's face to come on the screen. Glancing at the clock above the door, it occurred to Alan that Josh would just be getting done with school for the day.

"Hey Mayhem, how're you doing?" Josh asked hopefully.

"I'm okay." Alan replied, not bothering to hide his displeasure from his friend. He and the guys, none of them hid anything from each other – unless you counted Alan hiding the worst of the bullying to protect his friends.

"What's going on?" Josh seemingly was able to sense his friend's unhappiness and he'd wanted to understand the source of his friend's discontent.

"I contracted a staph infection, I've been taken off the medications that are supposed to help my body adjust to my brother's skin donation because they have the potential to make me sick if they don't get this infection under control. I'd rather not have my brother's skin donation be rejected because life is being unfair to me." Alan groused, he saw the sad smile on his friend's face. "How about you? You look human for a change."

"Yeah, my mom was able to get me in to talk to my aunt's therapist and she was able to offer ideas to me to get a grip on my nightmares. I think I slept a good eleven hours and was able to go to school and concentrate. I'm sure my teachers were surprised that I actually understood the material." Josh changed the subject, sensing Alan didn't want to talk about his situation.

"I'm supposed to see the resident shrink later today. I don't want to though." Alan didn't dare mention his apparent psychotic break the other day. He didn't want his friend to see him as a crazy loon and abandon him.

"You know, I had the same mindset. I mean, you know me…I hate the whole let's sit in a friendship circle and do each other's toenails while we talk about our feelings thing. It's just not…me. But that wasn't what I was expecting. Connie, I guess you could consider her my therapist now…she let me sit wherever I wanted and didn't make me feel like I was being scrutinized. I felt…normal…you know what I mean?" Josh replied, his face turning thoughtful. "It felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders and it felt great. Connie was able to bring it all in to perspective for me and she didn't make me feel like I was crazy. I felt comfortable, like I do when I'm with you and the guys."

"Nice." Alan couldn't help but to smile at hearing his friend discuss how much help a shrink had been for him. "I hope my therapist that I've agreed to see is like that. It'd be nice not to feel like I'm under a microscope."

"Trust me Mayhem, shrinks are not at all like they are in the movies. Connie, she seemed to genuinely care when I told her how difficult a time I was having with getting over the fire and she said it's normal to feel that way after being traumatized as bad as I was. It felt nice to be reassured that I wasn't losing my mind." Josh leaned on his elbow in front of his computer.

Alan was silent for a moment as he contemplated whether he really wanted to ask Josh the burning question that had sprung up in his mind. "What…what did Connie recommend you do to about the nightmares?"

"She recommended imagery rehearsal…I guess it's a type of therapy that allows you to imagine a different outcome of your nightmares, one that usually ends positively. I was surprised that it worked, of course I felt stupid doing it." Josh replied.

"Why did you feel stupid?" Alan didn't know if he necessarily wanted to feel stupid trying not to have bad dreams.

"Because Connie recommended doing it with another person – and my mom offered to do it with me. So for the first time in I think six years, I was tucked into bed by my mom. She came to my room last night when I was ready to go to bed and we sat in the dark and just whispered about ways to change my dreams. I don't know when I fell asleep, but I stayed asleep the entire time and woke up with the chickens today. I didn't have a single nightmare and I woke up feeling rested for the first time in months." Josh blushed slightly as he admitted it to Alan. "And if you tell anybody about this I swear I'll kill you Mayhem."

"Nope, your secret's safe with me." Alan replied, actually feeling a little bit more hopeful that maybe if he could give it a try maybe he wouldn't feel like he was going insane.

"Give it a try tonight Mayhem, honestly…it works." Josh said before he started to get off the computer. "Hey I've got to go…my mom's calling me to come give her a hand with dinner. Oh, and Mayhem? Feel free to give me a call if you want to join the imagery rehearsal tonight. I swear I don't mind and I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind helping you out also."

"Thanks Josh, I appreciate it." As Alan disconnected the call, he actually felt somewhat hopeful that maybe he'd get something more from the visit with the shrink. He hoped so.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Jeff returned to the hospital a couple hours later, not at all happy to give bad news to his sons, but he'd agreed to return to sit in with Alan for the therapist's appointment. As Dr. Warner and Andreessen put it, it'd be more beneficial for Alan to have someone there with him as this was also going to be a therapy appointment for Jeff also as he'd have to learn ways to help Alan cope with the trauma of the school fire and Alan shouldn't have to be self-reliant in that department. Glancing at his watch, Jeff wondered if the resident therapist lived at the hospital considering she had set up Alan's appointment to be about seven in the evening – which had incidentally been close to lights out at Alan's school before it'd burned down.

Jeff went to the nurse's station and got in the gear to enter Alan's hospital room as he'd been doing for the past several months and smiled slightly when he entered Alan's hospital room to see Alan sitting up in bed, playing solitaire on his computer.

"Good evening Alan." Jeff walked in the room and held a hand up in a wave when Alan looked up.

"Hi dad." Alan closed his solitaire game to focus on his dad, a small smile coming to his face. He actually felt grateful for his dad agreeing to come back and sit with him during the talk with the shrink. He'd done some research after he'd finished talking to Josh and actually felt prepared enough to broach the topic with his dad. Hopefully his dad would be privy to helping him with this attempt to better his sleep. According to his research, improper sleep could lead to stress, anxiety, and poor health. Maybe if Alan could begin getting better sleep, he could finally begin making some strides when it came to healing and finally get his butt out of the hospital. He didn't want to be in here forever.

"So, how are you feeling?" Jeff asked as he took a seat in the chair beside Alan's bed. Alan seemed to notice the distance which his dad sat from him and hoped that by offering his dad a seat on the bed – closer to him it wouldn't be pushing boundaries. He was his son after all, his dad usually had no qualms about being in close proximity to another. And Alan had a very minimal personal bubble thanks to his brothers constantly hugging or hanging on him growing up – the same went for his brother's and their personal bubbles. Those were nearly none existent because of how often they tended to hug each other.

"Bored, wish I had a roommate to talk to." Alan said as he glanced at the wallpaper on his computer homepage – it was a collage of pictures. Alan and Jamie with their arms slung over the other's shoulders, Alan and Fermat doing a fist bump, Eddy spinning Alan around on the soccer field after an apparent epic win, Josh and Alan with their sleeves pulled up in the weight room at the school giving the camera a 'gun show', Todd and Alan wearing Groucho Marks masks and making faces at the camera and lastly right in the middle of the screen was a picture of Alan surrounded by his brothers with their dad standing a little off to the left. Jeff was touched that Alan had the latest family photo as part of his background as nobody had really wanted to have it done. They only all smiled last minute and it'd been a picture snapped by Parker.

"You'll have a roommate again soon. We just need to get those wounds closed and you out of isolation then you can begin seeing everybody again." Jeff reassured as he accepted the seat beside Alan at his gesture of patting the mattress beside him. "Just have to take it slow."

"I know, but I wish I was done already." Alan frowned. "Do…do you think I'll get better? Like better, better?"

"Yeah, I do. You've just run into a hiccup along the road to recovery. Nobody said this would be easy and you are bound to run into problems along the way." Jeff said as he looked at his son seriously.

"Please don't say that." Alan said as he eyed his father's watch. It was peeking out from under his father's long sleeve and Alan could see that time was nigh… he had two minutes left before his psychologist patched into his computer to hold his appointment. "Hey dad?"

"Yeah Alan?" Jeff continued looking at the background of Alan's laptop screen and filed away all the times that Alan smiled his million watt smile at the camera. He didn't get to see it nearly enough times so he memorized the look of happiness and pride that shone brightly on his son's face.

"I talked to Josh earlier…he um…he went to psychologist also." Alan felt his bravery at broaching the subject waning and now wished he hadn't said anything.

"Oh? And?" Jeff broke his gaze from the computer screen to look at Alan and noticed his son was looking away in embarrassment. "What is it Alan?"

"I – I was wondering if you'd be willing to help me with something." Alan refused to meet his father's eye.

"What is it Al?" Jeff asked, wanting to know what Alan could need help with and be embarrassed about.

"Josh mentioned something his therapist had him do and I was wondering if you'd help me with it?" Alan said, keeping his gaze locked on the blanket which covered him.

"I can't help you if I don't know what it is." Jeff prodded, hoping his son would tell him what it was.

"Imagery Rehearsal…" Alan finally blurted it out and his face went as red as a tomato.

"What is that?" Jeff asked just as Alan's computer chimed to signal that his therapist was contacting him.

'Saved by the bell!' Alan thought to himself as he clicked on the accept call button.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

"Oh. My. God." Robert gazed up at his ceiling, with eyes that were red and irritated, dark circles beneath his eyes and a gaunt face. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a proper night's sleep and he'd forced himself to stay awake so he wouldn't be bothered by the nightmares which plagued him. The only time he ever slept anymore was when his body couldn't seem to withstand staying awake for much longer and he'd crash for about two hours at which time the guards would wake him up. What he wouldn't do for a little more than six hours of sleep to fully recharge his batteries.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

"Hey, do you have any idea when dad will be back?" Gordon asked as he exited the bathroom dressed for bed.

"No idea, it'd have to be soon – I can't imagine that dad would be much longer." Scott replied as he looked at his watch. It was nearing nine thirty. And Scott was still dressed as he'd actually dropped his dad off at the hospital while he went to go get him and his brothers a pizza for dinner. He was expecting his dad to call sometime soon.

"What's up fish?" John asked as he lowered the book he'd brought with him to stare at his little brother.

"I was just curious about something, that's all." Gordon said as he grabbed the remote and flopped onto his stomach on the bed.

"What were you curious about?" John asked as he noticed Scott just staring at his phone like he was trying to set it ablaze.

"I was curious about what would happen to Alan if this staph infection continues." Gordon turned his head to look at Scott and John.

"Well, if the infection doesn't go away then Alan will have no choice but to remain on antibiotics until it's all cleared up. The doctor's won't want to take the risk of Alan getting sicker." Scott replied, having been listening to his brothers talking. "Alan's probably pissed."

"I doubt it. He's been so emotional lately over the little things; I think he'd be more sad than angry." John replied. He'd seem to always be on the same wavelength with his younger blonde brother.

"I just hope he gets better soon." Gordon groaned as he tapped the remote on the back of his hand.

"He will, it's just a minor setback." John said sure that Alan would get better…in more ways than one. That he was positive of.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Jeff sat by Alan's bedside gently holding one of Alan's hands as he gazed peacefully at Alan's sleeping face. Jeff had asked during Alan's therapy session what imagery rehearsal was and Alan's therapist had gladly explained it to the father and son – informing them that it was a common form of treatment for people who suffered from nightmares regularly or those who suffered from PTSD. Jeff had asked how it was done and the therapist explained that Alan was to walk through his nightmares aloud and then when he reached the point that the dream either became scarier or if it was scary from the beginning to consciously come up with an alternate outcome.

When Alan's therapist had ended their session and disconnected the call, Alan had been lying in his bed with drooping eyes. They were heavy from fatigue and Jeff had moved the laptop away so as to get the extra stimuli out of Alan's immediate area. Purposely turning down the lights like Josh and Alan's therapist recommended, Jeff and Alan sat in total silence before Alan began explaining his nightmares to his father.

"It always starts the same." Alan looked at his lap, refusing to meet his father's eyes before he began to explain. "I wake up in my bed back at Wharton, the room is stifling. I feel like I can't breathe. I can't find Fermat, and when I try to smash the glass out, it just won't break even though I'm hitting the glass with a chair."

Jeff remained silent as he let Alan explain his nightmare.

"I run from the room, into the hall and it is so bright I feel like I'm going to go blind. It's hot and all I can do is look around for a way to escape. I take off in what I believe is the right direction and just run." Alan bit his lip as his breathing quickened. He was being pulled back into his dream despite being fully and totally awake. "The beam falls on me again and when I manage to get it off, I'm in pain and moving slower. Suddenly the floor falls out from beneath me and I am standing outside in the snow, staring at the skeleton of Wharton…it's just a shell and I hear Scott and the guys. I go to them and they are still looking through the debris for something when Gordo yells that he found 'him'.

Jeff's heart ached as he saw the naked fear plainly on his son's face as he listened to the nightmare be retold from his son's perspective.

"I go towards them, I keep trying to talk to them and they aren't responding to me…I try to touch them and my hand goes through them. It's like I'm a ghost. As I get closer to Gordon, I see what appears to be a person covered from head to toe in ash. I can smell burning flesh and it makes me sick inside. Gordon removes his glove and closes the person's eyes when I realize that it's me lying on the ground before Gordo. I'm dead." Tears spill forth from Alan's eyes and it's all Jeff can do to not join Alan.

"When I try to tell the guys that I'm with them, they don't even acknowledge me. I try to hit Gordo when he kissed my cheek and asked me to send his love to mom. I fell onto of my dead self and a hole opens up into the pits of what I'd assume to be Hell. I'm trying to hold on and I'm begging the guys to help me." Alan sniffed and wiped at his nose when Jeff handed him a Kleenex. "Another me, grabbed my ankle and starts whispering to me. I can't understand him and it scares me because it's like he's speaking another language. He pulls on my ankle and just before I fall he transforms into a black mass and finally pulls me in. I wake up just before I fall into the flames."

Jeff absorbed all that Alan told him before reaching up to brush his thumb across Alan's cheek, beneath his eye.

"It's alright son, calm down. You're safe here with me. You're safe." Jeff reassured as he hugged Alan comfortingly.

"How am I going to get through this dad?" Alan asked in a hushed and trembling whisper. It broke Jeff's heart all over again to hear his headstrong son sound so small and like he was four instead of fourteen.

"Together with your families help son. We'll always be here for you." Jeff replied, wanting to take his son's fears away. "So imagery rehearsal huh?"

"…" Alan didn't say anything, just choosing to remain silent instead.

"To start; close your eyes for me would you? Lay back like you're going to sleep." Jeff said as he scooted further up the bed, physically lying Alan down against his pillows. "It's okay, I'm not going anywhere."

Alan reached up with a trembling hand and held resolutely to his dad's fingers. He'd found the feeling of his father's warm hand brought him comfort. Jeff copied Alan and held gently to his fingers. Doing as his father said, Alan closed his eyes – only relaxing when he felt his dad run the fingers of his free hand through his hair soothingly.

"Now, when you find yourself waking up in the dream, to the room of fire – why don't you try imagining, not fire – but warm sunshine? It's bright, fairly harmless, comforting." Jeff suggested. Alan made himself think of the beginning of the dream and felt his heartbeat begin to race as he tried to imagine sunshine rather than fire. When it transformed with a bit of cognitive effort, Alan didn't feel nearly as anxious anymore.'

Alan appeared to actually be getting sleep. His face was relaxed and though Alan was holding Jeff's hand still, the father had no problems with his youngest son needing and seeking comfort. He'd kind of missed it to be honest. Alan grew up so fast, he'd been rather independent from the get go and Jeff had to admit that Alan grew up at the snap of a finger. From the time he'd turned seven, he didn't want his daddy tucking him into bed every night, reading him a bedtime story anymore. He didn't need his dad reminding him to wash behind his ears before getting in the bath. He'd become pretty self-sufficient. He could still get dressed on his own. Even if he put his pants on backwards, he was a big kid and big kids didn't need a parent telling them what to do.

Gently tangling his fingers with Alan's Jeff felt content to just sit and watch his son a few more minutes. Alan finally appeared to be getting sleep and it warmed Jeff's heart to see his son relaxed for once. Since the whole fire happened, Alan had seemed stressed and constantly on edge. He was more emotional than Jeff ever thought possible and it broke his heart every time Alan would begin to cry or one of his sons brought up Alan dropping his guard around them to cry. This whole thing just threw a wrench in everything; the fire injuring Alan and Fermat, Robert apparently trying to kill Alan over money, Alan questioning his sanity. Everything was just screwed up. There was no better way to put it.

Leaning over Alan, Jeff brushed some of Alan's bangs off his forehead before planting a soft and tender kiss to Alan's forehead. Alan continued sleeping and Jeff didn't feel it would be right to awaken Alan just to say good bye and good night. Standing slowly, Jeff backed away from Alan's bed. Going to the door, Jeff stopped and turned around to look at Alan's peaceful form. "Good night son…I love you."

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Scott drove to the hospital, rubbing at his eyes. Man was he tired? His dad had only just called him to let him know that he was ready to be picked up at a quarter to midnight. John and Gordon went to bed over an hour ago and that left Scott to sit up and just watch TV on mute for the past hour, wondering if his dad was going to call or just stay the night at the hospital with Alan to ensure Alan wouldn't have another panic attack. So it came as a surprise when his phone which he'd switched to vibrate buzzed in his pocket.

Pulling into the drive, Scott glimpsed his dad standing beneath the overhang outside. Coming to a stop, Scott unlocked the door before granting his dad entrance to the vehicle. When Jeff sat in the bucket seat of the rental, it didn't surprise Scott one bit to see his father looked equally as tired as he felt.

"So how'd the session go?" Scott asked as he put the car in drive once his dad put on his seatbelt.

Jeff was silent for a few moments before nodding. "It went good. Alan was open to talking to her and he felt comfortable."

"Did he really?" Scott checked both ways before pulling onto the street and driving back to the hotel.

"Yeah, he did well." Jeff replied, happy to see that Alan seemed to embrace talking to a therapist rather than staying silent.

"Did you guys talk to the therapist this whole time?" Scott glanced at his watch and was surprised to see it was five after midnight.

"No, he talked to her for about an hour and then she had to go. Alan and I talked for a little bit and I stayed until he fell asleep." Jeff replied as he lifted a hand in front of the heater.

"When did he fall asleep?" Scott asked as he stopped for a red light.

"Two hours ago." Jeff said while directing his attention outside at the falling snow.

"And what exactly were you doing during the two hours that he was asleep?" Scott raised an eyebrow while looking at his father in confusion.

"Just watching him sleep. Making sure he didn't have any nightmares." Jeff said, remembering the peaceful look on Alan's face as he slept.

"Okay, that's not creepy." Scott remarked sardonically.

"Oh hush…I wanted to make sure he didn't have any nightmares." Jeff rolled his eyes. If this was Scott's reaction to Jeff watching Alan while he slept what would Scott's reaction be if Jeff told him about the imagery rehearsal? No, that wouldn't be pretty. Especially for Alan.

"So, how was he this evening? Aside from comfortable talking to the shrink?" Scott asked as he spotted the hotel up the road a short distance.

"He was good. He seemed to be in a fairly good mood. Despite everything kind of blowing up in his face." Jeff replied, sure that Alan actually was okay and not just acting like he was. Jeff had seen a different side to Alan this evening and it was actually nice to see again. It was nice to see his son with his walls down, acting his age instead of always trying to act older than he actually was.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

'Opening his eyes, Alan had to raise a hand to shield his face from the bright light.

"Fermat left the curtains open again." Alan mumbled as he squinted around the room. He was back at Wharton's. Jerking up into a sitting position, Alan was suddenly aware he was back in Wharton's…but where was the fire? It wasn't hot or stifling…his heart wasn't racing ninety to nothing…he felt relaxed for the most part. Sure he was irritated that Fermat apparently left the curtains open, but he had to admit it was kind of nice waking up to the warm sunshine. His bed was usually in the direct path of the sunlight and thus always requested Fermat close the curtains before going to bed so Alan wasn't blind upon waking. "Fermat?"

Looking around curiously, Alan searched for his friend and found his friend lying in bed reading a book. Alan couldn't help but to chuckle, Fermat was always reading. Alan wondered sometimes that if Fermat and he weren't friends what Fermat would do with his day. Would he continue to read? Would he do something entirely different, maybe play sports and get out there?

"Hey Fermat?" Alan asked as he blocked the sunlight from his eyes. "Why is the curtain open?"

"Because i-it was about t-time you woke up." Fermat replied as he placed a bookmark in the book.

"What time is it?" Alan ran his fingers through his hair as he stretched. Man did it feel good to stretch and not feel pain.

"It's eight." Fermat replied, setting his book to the side.

"What day is it?" Alan asked in confusion.

"December 19th." Fermat responded. "Why d-do you ask?"

Alan paused as he tried to remember exactly why he'd asked for the date and with a shrug, he threw back his blankets. "I don't know. Just forget I asked."

"Okay, s-so what do y-you want to d-do?" Fermat asked as he climbed out of bed. He was dressed for the day unlike Alan who was still in his pajamas.

"Let's go grab some grub." Alan said as he gathered his clothes, moving to the bathroom to get dressed. "Let's go after I get dressed."

"Okay." Fermat replied as he sat on his bed before putting his shoes on.

When Alan exited the bathroom a few minutes later, his hair was dripping and he came out hopping on one foot as he put his sock on. Fermat chuckled at his friend's behavior and grabbed their school blazers. They were warm enough that the boys didn't require winter jackets and the teachers were usually cool with the boys taking off their blazers in class.

"Okay, let's go before all we get is a bowl of lucky charms. I don't know about you but I feel like I could eat a house." Alan said as he rubbed his stomach when it gave a bit of a gurgling growl.

Slipping into their blazers, Alan and Fermat began to exit from their dorm. When Alan grasped the door handle, he cried out at the heat. Staring at his hand, Alan noticed the skin on his hand was beginning to blister. Stepping back from the door, Alan held his arm in front of Fermat in order to prevent him from trying to open the door.

"W-What is it Alan?" Fermat asked as he saw Alan cradling his burnt hand to his chest.

"There's a fire on the other side of the door Fermat…we can't go this way." Alan continued back up from the door as he began to hear the fire popping. It was just like Rice Krispy cereal. Snap, crackle, pop – snap, crackle, pop…over and over again. "Call John, or my dad…please."

Alan swung around and looked for an alternate exit, spotting the window Alan grabbed the chair from Fermat's desk and heaved it into the glass. A loud shattering sound satisfied Alan and he ran forward to try to calculate how far a drop it'd be. They were on the fourth floor and it would likely hurt them to jump. Thinking fast, Alan remembered something his grandma had taught him back when he lived in Kansas. If you are not safe to jump, create a rope of some kind to climb down. Alan had actually been forced to do it when he'd been spending the night at a friend's house. The wall socket short circuited in the house and fire started behind the wall.

Alan, his friend and his friend's family had actually all been asleep. Alan's friend Leo – his older brother Jake's ferret began fussing and woke the twelve year old up. He'd gotten up and felt how hot the house was and when he'd gone to turn the thermostat down, he'd wandered into the living room and discovered the whole house was on fire. He'd run screaming for his parents and they'd all tried to evacuate everybody from the house. Alan and Leo however were too scared to try escaping on their own and Leo's brother Jake had used the bed sheets to create a rope for them to climb down. Jake had been the last out after he'd run back to his room to save his ferret. That was the scariest night of Alan's life until the school fire; Alan had been taken to the hospital then too for minor burns and smoke inhalation.

Shaking his head Alan looked at the sheets on his and Fermat's bed before deciding what he needed to do.

"Let's go!" Alan despite his burnt hand grabbed the sheets off his and Fermat's bed and began tying them together. "This will only take us down to where we have about a five foot drop, but we should be fine."

Fermat looked back towards the door then at Alan before helping Alan to tie the sheet to one of the legs on Alan's bed. Following Alan's prompts, Fermat removed his blazer and lay it across the window sill so he wouldn't be cut by broken glass. Throwing one leg over the sill Fermat gripped the fashioned rope and began shimmying down. Alan watched Fermat go until he'd released the rope and landed on his feet on the ground. Glancing back towards the door, Alan did the same and began shimmying down the rope, ducking his head as he heard and felt the fire burst into his and Fermat's dorm room. Feeling the rope begin to give, Alan braced himself before he let go of the rope and plummeted seven feet down.