Chapter 17
My son was perfection. Plentiful downy hair on his little head, small kissable fingers I brought to my lips countless times, rugged red face I kissed countless times. He was perfection and I loved him beyond anything in the world. I could barely remember his birth, other than the pain and the effort it took to bring him out of my womb and into the world that had awaited him most eagerly.
"The girls of the harem all cheered when Metike ran there to let them know." Nilüfer's face showed the wicked joy it brought to her to remember the moment. "Even the kalfas and the aghas cheered with them. I wish I had seen Hürrem's face." Daye Hatun had remained with us for long after the birth, holding my baby as I was cleaned and the bed freshly made. I had been so tired and famished, but my eyes never left her as she cared for him. The thrill of first holding my babe to my arms would never leave me so long as I lived.
"He's a beautiful baby. Congratulations, Mihrişah Hatun." Daye congratulated me, her motherly gaze on my babe. I couldn't help the wide grin on my face. I was tired but I didn't want to sleep. I checked my baby all over, memorising each little feature of his tiny face. He scrunched his face, and I put him to my breast immediately, to which he latched on greedily. "What a strong baby." Her comment received echoes of agreement by the midwives and the harem doctors, who were still around, finishing the last tasks and directing servants while the cleaned the room. Hatice Sultan hurried through the door, smiling wide. Her presence surprised me, I hadn't expected her to leave Mehmed. Daye Hatun chuckled at my expression.
"Sultana came to the Palace after we sent word of the imminent birth of your baby." She told me.
"My Sultana, I'm so glad to see you!" I welcomed her, cradling my precious bundle.
"Congratulations, Mihrişah Hatun!" She said cheerfully, taking in the baby's perfection. "He's beautiful."
"Thank you my Sultana!" My baby eventually released my breast and I covered myself.
"Can I hold him?" She asked, arms outstretched to pick him up. I loved Hatice, she could order me to release my bundle of joy, however, she asked, giving me the option of refusing. But I trusted her.
"Of course, my Sultana!" Hatice took the baby in her arms, marvelling at the beautiful baby boy in her arms. Valide arrived not long after, having taken upon herself to bring the news to Suleyman. She came to Hatice, seeing the bundle in her arms and spared no compliment to her new grandson.
"Oh, what a perfect boy!" She gushed, giving me the widest smile I had ever seen from her. Hatice relinquished the baby to his grandmother's gentle arms, and she held him happily, praising his strong grip.
"Praise Allah for this gift!" She gushed, gently rocking him in her arms. I felt tired but content. I realised once I saw them all crowding around Valide to gush over my child that I had reached my second goal: another son for my lord. It was my victory on that day, to bring forth just precious bundle to add to the treasures of the Dynasty. Mahidevran came soon after, displeasure evident on her face, but she tried to be pleasant.
"How are you, Mihrişah Hatun?" She asked pleasantly, but she had a hard time trying to mask her bitterness.
"I am sore and tired, but very happy, thank you my Sultana." I replied respectfully, smiling. Valide Sultan nodded, watching our interaction, showing she was pleased with me. I had displaced Hürrem in our Lord's affections and given them another boy for the dynasty, and, at the same time, never tried to fight Mahidevran or sought to diminish her in our lord's eyes.
"Come, Mahidevran, see this little joyous child!" Valide called the Bas-Kadin to see the baby slumbering in her arms. Mahidevran joined, albeit reluctantly, to join them. Hürrem was the only one missing so far, but no one really cared whether she appeared or not. Nilüfer looked at me and grinned.
"Where's Hürrem?" I couldn't help but ask. Nilüfer shook her head and bid me to wait. Servants went to fetch veils for the female Sultanas and helped them don the pieces of clothing while Daye Hatun cooed over my little boy. I craved to have him in my arms, but I knew he would be brought to me soon. Metike brought me a veil and styled my hair with Nilüfer's help, both taking particular care on beautifying me. Suleyman arrived soon, his eyes shining in happiness. Valide passed my son to him, and he performed the naming ceremony, which all of them witnessed. Hürrem was the only one missing, which I was glad for. I wanted her far from my child. I took the second Kadin from my mind, for the moment was mine and my son's. And I would enjoy each and every moment of the most joyous moment. I paid attention to Suleyman, who was clearly besotted with my son, his eyes shining with unshed tears of happiness.
"Your name is Murad." Suleyman proclaimed, beginning the payers following the proclamation of the baby's name. He named my son Murad, like the great Sultans of the past. My Murad, my lion cub.
"Tell me." I asked Nilüfer, once everyone had vacated my room, finally allowing me to have my boy back in my arms. Murad was such a good baby, never crying, so far at least. Nilüfer plumped my pillows and helped me settle back down the bed, Murad right next to me, nestled near my breast. "What happened that Hürrem wasn't dragged to my room like Mahidevran?" I had no illusions that the Bas-Kadin didn't want to be there. Valide Sultan probably requested her presence, but she didn't risk displeasure to fall on her head by refusing to attend.
"I doubt Mahidevran Sultan was dragged here." Nilüfer giggled. "Well, from what I managed to get out of Fatma and Efsun, Hürrem wanted to have entertainment for the girls of the harem. She asked Gül Agha and Sümbul Agha to prepare the party. Sümbul warned Valide, who was aghast by the temerity of the second Kadin. She called Hürrem but ended up having to meet the woman halfway, because she was out and about and too busy to attend Valide when called. Something happened that made Hürrem very upset. She ended up insulting Valide Sultan in front of many of the girls who were passing by on the way to classes, as well as some of the kalfas and aghas. The worst part for her was that Sultan was walking by at that precise moment and witnessed the whole affair." I could see what had happened after. Suleyman calling Hürrem to follow him to his chamber and berating her for her behaviour.
"She grew too proud." I cuddled my son, smiling at the little faces he made while sleeping. "It's a lesson for us." I looked at Nilüfer, who silently agreed with my observation. From what I heard after, Hürrem was subdued. Through her charms and whatever feelings she managed to stir in Suleyman, she managed to remain in the palace despite the arrogance and the disrespect shown towards the head of the harem. The downside to her was that the Sultan avoided her as best as he could. He couldn't, or better yet, wouldn't avoid his children by her, though. Mihrimah, Mehmed, Selim and Bayezid saw their father frequently, without the supervision of their mother. Valide had removed the children to the royal nursery outside of Hürrem's sphere of influence, which also diminished in the harem. Concubines and servants alike breathed easy with the red-haired woman's influence weakened. Mahidevran was displeased, though. For I was another rival, who gave our lord another son, to compete against hers.
I enjoyed fully the first weeks of my Murad's life, never allowing him out of my sight, unless I went to the hammam. Even then, I never took my two friends. I tasked them with looking after my precious boy, it was my only condition to go to the hammam at all. Fatma and Efsun eagerly took the task of aiding me whenever their chores allowed, chatting happily as we went with our merry lives, also drinking in eagerly anything I shared about my boy.
"Daye Hatun and Valide Sultan shared the news with gold coins." Fatma said happily.
"It's tradition to share good fortune with everyone of the harem. Kalfas and aghas as well." Efsun told us.
"I'm glad, I'm so happy with my boy and I wish everyone could be as happy as I am." We giggled as we walked back from the hammam. We were chatting happily, without worries. I felt safe in the knowledge that Murad was with Nilüfer. How wrong I was.
"Mihrişah!" A wail echoed through the hall, startling me. We looked around, to find Metike running in our direction, holding the skirts of her gown, face red and wet with tears. My heart dropped to my feet.
"What's wrong?" I yelled, dropping the bundle I carried from the hammam and grabbing her arms, shaking her. She cried very hard and had difficulty calming down.
"Hürrem Sultan…she came to the room when Nilüfer was out, on an errand for Daye Hatun. She took Murad!" Those last words seemed to echo through the room, amplified by the sudden rage burning in my soul. HOW DARED SHE?
"Where is she?" I growled, hands becoming talons grabbing her arms. "Where is the bitch?" I yelled, not caring anymore about respect and proper behaviour.
"I-I don't know." I released her and took off, running down the hall with the girls on my tail. I yelled for Hürrem as I ran, yelling and cursing her as loud as my voice allowed. I cared not one fig who heard, who watched me run like a madwoman, tearing through the Palace looking for my son. Once I reached the main room, I frantically looked around. "Where's Hürrem?" I demanded, yelling. Everyone stopped and stared at me, half fearful, half curious. "Where is the Sultana?"
"She's in her chambers." Gül Agha called, watching me curiously. "What is happening?" He asked. I glared at him, wishing myself strong enough to strangle the bastard until he died.
"She took my boy!" I yelled at him. "Your Sultana stole my son from his nurses!" My yelling called attention of everyone within hearing range.
"Mihrişah Hatun." The most odious voice called from behind me, cheerfully. The familiar cooing of my son followed the voice. I turned around to see a smiling Hürrem, carrying my son. As if he was hers. "Your baby is so beautiful. Pity I wasn't present on the naming ceremony." I growled and lunged at her. She let out a yell of outrage and fear, nearly dropping Murad in the process. I don't know how, but I managed to grab him before the worst happened. Once he was in my arms, I felt like I could finally breathe. I threw at the red-hair bitch the worst glare, filled with as much hatred as I could muster. She had made a mistake entering my territory, the sanctuary of my room and taking my child away from its safety.
"My child is off limits, Hürrem!" I yelled, caring not one fig for whoever watched us. The second kadin looked wide eyed, a little upset too. "If you have a problem with me, then you shall do so to my face. Try anything else to Murad and I will have your head, and I don't care what Suleyman says or thinks." I instilled as much hatred and threat into my words as possible. I was furious by her callous attempt to kidnap my boy. Having him in my arms did little to soothe my frayed nerves. And Hürrem's face didn't help. She fidgeted nervously, failing completely to keep her composure, even in front of an audience. Nilüfer arrived then, frantically putting herself between the second kadin and I.
"Suleyman wouldn't forgive you if-" I cut her off then and there. She was the second kadin, in front of me in terms of being a mother of Şehzadehs for longer and such. But I was noble, and I ranked above her in that aspect. And be damned the consequences for threatening her.
"I don't care what Suleyman would do to me. I would have my revenge and I'd go merrily to death after making sure you suffered for touching what is mine." I looked to my child, then briefly to Nilüfer, before I stared, or better yet, glared to Hürrem Sultan. "Touch anything that is mine, witch, and the fires of Hell will not compare to the wildfire of my hatred that will consume you!"
I knew my facing down Hürrem would spread like wildfire. I hurried to my chamber and locked myself in, allowing no one but my two ladies in and out. Daye Hatun visited, worried by the news that I allowed no one, not even Sümbul Agha in. Valide Sultan would've come herself, but she had gone to visit her grandson Mehmed, Hatice's son. She was worried about my momentary insanity and how I had yelled to Hürrem, threatening her openly.
"She's a kadin." Daye chided me gently. I held my head with my hands, feeling a headache coming. "No matter how badly she behaves, it's not up to you to face her. You need to be careful."
"I know, Daye Hatun, I know…" I looked at my little son and I felt my heart clench. Those moments where I didn't know where he was...they were the worst of my life. "But she took my son! How could she do such despicable thing?" I asked, looking at the older woman in pain. It wounded me deeply and I was fearful of trusting anyone with my son, ever again. "If you tell me she would do nothing to my son, I will call you a liar! She's capable of anything!"
"Don't be silly, she wouldn't harm your baby. But she crossed a line." Daye Hatun agreed. "Valide Sultan will do something about it, do not fret." But her words gave me no comfort. How could they, when Hürrem respected no one, not even the mother of our Sultan?
Suleyman came to visit me later that day. He found me huddled on the couch, holding my baby in my arms. My friends had been hovering nearby, worried. He dismissed them with a wave of his hand.
"I've heard about Hürrem." He sat by my side, not caring that I didn't raise and bow as etiquette demanded. He pulled me to his side and I couldn't help it, I cried my eyes out in his embrace. Murad was quiet in my arms, his cooing doing little to calm me down. "My sun, there is no reason to cry." The words tickled my ear. "You are safe within my Palace."
"No!" I pulled away, Murad glued to my chest. I glared at him. How could he be so blind to the russelana's plots, to her true self? "She took my child, who is but a few weeks old, from the safety of my chamber. What would've happened if I hadn't brought him back? Would she throw him out of a window? What would happen to me?" The fear took me completely, terrible sobs wracked my body and I couldn't release Murad. My baby, sensing my distress, wailed in my arms. I rocked him, placing kisses on his down covered head. "Is that what you want, Suleyman? I won't allow her to hurt my child, even if I must walk through fire!" Now that I tasted motherhood, I would be a lioness defending her cub from all danger, even from the lion himself if I must. I would never back down from defending my Murad. Suleyman's eyes were on me, searching. His hands cradled my face, tenderly. The warmth and scent of his skin provoked a thrill of desire to course through my body in waves, in a way I hadn't felt before. Murad's wails broke whatever connection we had at that moment. Suleyman's hands moved to the swaddled babe, as if silently asking for permission to hold him. Reluctantly, I relinquished my son's hold and allowed his father to hold the babe. Suleyman rocked the baby with expertise, rocking the babe until his wails were replaced with charming cooing.
"Nothing will ever happen. To either of you." His eyes were on me, shining from the candlelight burning in every corner of my chamber. He shifted Murad so he could securely hold him with one arm so he could hold my face with the other hand. "The sun brought a gift to the Sultan. Ah, how strong is his grasp. The blue of his eyes are the sky on which the sun shines. And for his eyes, the sun shines." I giggled at his impromptu poem. It was cute, but he could do better. "Ah, the sun smiles finally."
"I'm sorry, my Lord." I bowed my head. I felt unsettled still, like my heart weighed too much.
"I understand. Hürrem can be quite a handful." Is he for real? Suleyman tilted his head to the side, caring and gentle expression.
"Hürrem Sultan is more than a handful, my Lord." I told him, exasperated. "She's like a natural disaster that struck the harem. Tearing everything apart with her mere presence. When she opens her mouth, fear strikes even the most valiant of men." I thought of Ibrahim Pasha, who was her enemy simply because he was Suleyman's closest confidant. "She charms the dearest of men and disarms him, leaving him blind to her darkest sins, to her most terrible crimes. She's his siren and his vice. Her hands play with his heart and when he turns his back, her hands dare to strangle those who oppose her." He was amused, enjoying the way I wove Hürrem's character in a short poetic text. "And you, my Lord?" I dared to ask. "You, who should punish her and empower Valide Sultan's decisions, throw everything to the wind, undermine Valide's orders and empower Hürrem instead?"
"My sun is bold." He said, smiling.
"I love you." I told him, throwing all what I felt for him behind my words and the way I looked at him. "I love you, I love you!" I told him repeatedly, hands grasping his free hand tight, dropping kisses on the back of his hand as I spoke those words. "I have the product of our love here, you are holding him in your arms. But Hürrem's love is not pure. Please," I begged, throwing myself to my knees, like the supplicant I was. "please don't allow Hürrem to continue with her games. She will try to throw us all into Hell so she can have you all for herself. Please spare your children from the games she will play with us. Or we will shed enough blood to drown this city!"
I was unable to leave my chamber, fearful of Hürrem's ploys. Valide Sultan visited my son daily, enjoying the sight of her grandchild growing stronger and more handsome with each passing day. She said nothing of Hürrem, didn't even drop hints of what happened to Hürrem after the scandal we caused when she took my son from my ladies. I gave no other thought to other things. Not even the fact that I had borne a Şehzadeh and I was on even grounds with her and Mahidevran. I was a threat to both kadins. Without giving thoughts to that, I went day to day, not even daring to go to the hammam for bathing. Nilüfer huffed but said nothing, bringing my food and helping me around the room as needed. One day, we were busy embroidering and mending clothes while Metike went around the chamber, tidying up, when Sümbul asked permission to enter. He carried a scroll in his hand, beckoned two aghas to enter after him. The men carried a large chest to the middle of the room and left. I tilted my head to the side, wondering what was going on.
"Hello, Sümbul Agha." I greeted, putting down my embroidery frame and rising to my feet, along Nilüfer, to bow respectfully to the agha. I wondered where the elusive agha had been lately and, all of a sudden, my thoughts went to Isabella. I wondered how she was.
"Good afternoon, my lady." He said, bowing. He was very formal, out of the blue. I exchanged a curious glance with Nilüfer and Metike, who had skipped over to where Sümbul stood, too curious to pretend she was cleaning anymore. "I bring a proclamation from the Sultan, which will be read to all of the harem and throughout the Empire, as well as gifts for you and our new Şehzadeh." I cared not one whit for the gifts, I wanted to know what was going to be announced.
"Come, tell us what is this announcement about." I asked, grinning. He unrolled the scroll and began reading the words written on it.
"From the hand of our lord Sultan Suleyman Khan, Emperor of the Ottoman Empire, his will to be obeyed, said thusly: On this day forth, Mihrişah of Hungary will be elevated to the rank of Kadin, with the title of Sultana. She shall be known as Mihrişah Sultan, mother of Şehzade Murad!" He rolled the scroll and held it to me, bowing. Nilüfer and Metike, both grinning, rose and bowed as well. My mind went blank, the only swimming in my brain were 'I'm a Sultana! I'm a Sultana!' and nothing else registered in its now empty space. "Mihrişah, are you unhappy?" Sümbul Agha asked, eyeing me speculatively. I shook my head and grinned, matching Nilüfer's and Metike's grins. We were three hyenas, exploding with happiness. I walked to where the chest had been placed earlier by the aghas. Sümbul approached me and I picked up the scroll, which was more precious than whatever gift within the chest, kissed the broken seal and brought it to my forehead. Sümbul nodded, pleased by my gesture. All of what I did and said, at that moment, would be echoed by many mouths. The scroll, with the proclamation, seemed to be the most precious of gifts awarded on that day. Or so I thought. Sümbul opened the chest and a myriad of items crowded inside. What caught my eye were the folded furs. I picked them up and unfurled them. They were the collar of a beautifully crafted winter coat. "Those are the furs only Sultanas of the Dynasty are allowed to wear. They are a gift from our Lord Sultan!" He told me as I ran my hand through the soft fur. So soft...so gorgeous.
"Thank you, Sümbul!" I gushed, hugging the coat to my chest. It would be the simplest way of demonstrating my status. "You are the angel sent by my Lord, like the angels sent by Allah to announce the good fortune of the faithful." I enthused. I held the scroll and the coat close. They were the trophies of my victory, for bringing a new jewel to life, for the glory of the Ottoman Empire.