A/N - So I owe some apologies...I haven't felt up to writing because I've been working overtime and kept falling asleep the moment I got in front of my laptop. On the one day I had off where I wasn't traveling or sleeping I managed to get two chapters and a story that I'd written months ago finished. I plan on updating Never Look Back Belonging in the next day or two. That and the fact that my last laptop took a swan dive and died a horrible death so I had to salvage my documents and get them moved over to a new laptop. I realize it's been well over a month since I updated a few of my stories and I am so incredibly sorry. I hope ya'll are still interested and will continue to read.

Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel

The judge sat in her throne listening as Alan continued his tale. She sat patiently as Alan struggled with the memories of the event. Alan opened glistening eyes as he told the courts about thinking he was going to die after the burning beam had fallen and pinned him to the ground, breaking his arm and burning him.

Jeff watched Alan cautiously as he sat through listening to Alan retelling the story. He glanced surreptitiously at the jurors and saw almost all of them looked sympathetic to the boy's pain as he described the event in full detail. Alan hiccupped as he described the almost inhuman strength he'd demonstrated to get the beam off himself and Fermat despite the sheer pain he was experiencing at the time.

When Alan finished telling his experience, the woman representing Robert stood up for her cross examination. She looked at the boy as she adjusted the glasses on her nose.

"Alan, where were you the night of December 19th again?" Robert's lawyer asked as she straightened her suit jacket.

"I already told you…I was asleep in my dorm after your client beat my ass after dinner. I went to bed hungry and in pain that night because your client has an uncontrollable temper." Alan replied, quickly becoming defensive.

"And why may I ask didn't you go to a trusted member of faculty to report my client's abuse?" Robert's lawyer asked.

"Because, they've never helped me before…why would they start now?" Alan asked, his voice having dropped into a whisper at being accused by Robert's lawyer. Barrett stood up at Alan's posture and spoke his displeasure.

"Because you had a witness to the abuse and did nothing about it." Robert's lawyer said even as Alan's posture became more troubled by the questioning than he'd been when he was retelling his version.

"Objection! Badgering the victim!" Barrett remained at his table but refused to sit until Robert's attack dog was called off.

"Sustained…quit badgering the victim counselor." Judge Somers advised.

Robert's lawyer looked up and nodded. "Withdrawn…"

Alan continued to look at Robert's lawyer. He really didn't like her.

"Can you tell me what exactly you did to make enemies with my client?" She asked as she walked in front of him.

"I spilled my dinner on him after a couple of guys horsing around tripped me, months before he started all of this crap! It was an accident, but Robert accused me of doing it intentionally." Alan replied certain that he was not the cause of Robert's anger.

"Did you?" She asked as she stared down her nose at Alan.

"No! Ask my friends or my family, I'd never intentionally do that! I'm a bit of a klutz sure but I'd never purposefully cause someone the humiliation that I put him through!" Alan said sharply in defense.

"And if you didn't intentionally set out to humiliate Robert, why didn't you go apologize to him? You had several opportunities to."

"Because, he told me to stay away from him when I tried. So I was honoring his request." Alan said, trying to calm down and not get so riled up.

"So going back to the night of December 19th, why did you accuse my client of causing the fire?"

"Because he told me that if I didn't give him the money, I'd be burned. That threat and a fire miraculously starting – might I add being stronger in the hall I lived on seems kind of uncanny doesn't it?" Alan asked as he gripped the handle bars on his seat.

"Speculation!" The lawyer replied. "Your being injured had nothing to do with my client. You are just accusing him because of your need to find someone to blame."

"No I'm not!" Alan argued, as he was getting angry.

"Did that beam really fall on you, it didn't just graze you?"

"I can prove it fell on me!" Alan growled as he was visibly growing more angry by the minute.

"Objection! Harassment!" Barrett said. "Alan you don't have to prove anything."

"Counselor! One more infraction and you'll be removed from the room. Quit harassing the victim." The judge said as she hammered her gavel. She was actively trying to bring order to the court and she couldn't do that with Robert's lawyer harassing the victim.

"There's no way if that beam fell on you that you'd be able to get both yourself and your friend unpinned with an injury of the caliber you describe. What really happened?"

"I just told you! The beam fell on me and pinned my arm to the ground! It burned me! If it just grazed me, I can assure you I wouldn't have a surgical scar from having my arm cut open to pin the bone nor would my arm be deformed thanks to the burn I got!" Alan yelled at the lawyer. In a moment too quick for anyone to stop the argument from unfolding, Robert's lawyer insisted Alan prove his injuries to the courts and Alan did. He pulled up the baggy sleeve of his t-shirt to reveal the still angry red line trailing up his arm from the incision, coupled with puckering skin and an off white scar that covered Alan's arm from shoulder to elbow. "This is what happened to me, and I can guarantee it wasn't there before I escaped from the fire. I was burned, exactly like Robert said I would be if I refused to give him the money he felt I owed him. I didn't give him the money and this is what happened to me."

Murmurs broke out in the courtroom as everyone, jury and spectator saw Alan's injuries instead of just pictures. Jury members were grumbling, a few shaking their heads in disbelief while Alan continued to hold up his sleeve. The judge hit her gavel, ordering a recess for all those involved before she called Barrett and Robert's lawyer to her chambers. The bailiff took Alan over to his family, grandma hugging her youngest grandson and petting his hair comfortingly when she felt Alan shaking with anger.

"Good job Alan. Way to not take any of her flack." Gordon said as he ruffled Alan's hair.

"Can we leave now?" Alan asked, wanting to get out of the courtroom and back to the hotel…or back to the hospital room – whichever his doctor would allow.

"We have to wait on your lawyer, the judge may grant a mistrial because of that other lawyer's harassing questions." Jeff said as he pushed Alan's wheelchair from the room, going back upstairs where they'd been at earlier. Going towards the elevator, Scott was quick to block Alan when the flashing started from outside on the stoop of the courthouse. Sending a scowl towards the paparazzi, the family guided Alan into the elevator and they stood guard in front of Alan so the vultures with cameras couldn't get a picture of him. They didn't want pictures of Alan floating around in cyberspace let alone pictures of Alan when his health was as poor as it was currently.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Approximately twenty minutes later, Barrett came in the room and he sat down with a sigh. Turning tired eyes towards the family, he nodded at them.

"The judge has decided to permit Alan's testimony including the display of his injuries to the court as evidence, so we won't be needing Alan anymore in the near future." Barrett said which the family loved hearing. Alan sent a look to his father, begging with his eyes to leave and Jeff looked at Barrett expectantly. The family lawyer nodded with a grin. "The judge felt this was a good stopping point so Alan is free to go."

"Good, he never should have been out of the hospital in the first place." Virgil growled, not liking that his little brother had been exposed when he could easily get sick. He'd have to pester the nurses in Alan's ward to make sure they keep on top of him and make sure he is feeling okay. Virgil knew his baby brother and he knew his baby brother had a tendency to hide any illness he had or to make a show of how he was as fit as a fiddle when he wasn't. True, Alan wasn't a baby, he was a big boy who could take care of himself; but at this point in time…Alan was a baby and needed people with a medical knowledge wider than his own to keep tabs on his health and make sure he was healthy. "Dad, when did he have to be back at the hospital?"

"Alan's doctor mandated he be back in their care no later than seven this evening. So we have time to take Alan back to the hotel and get some food in him before we have to take him back." Jeff replied regretfully as he gently massaged Alan's neck, smiling to himself when Alan gave a soft moan of contentment.

"Then you'd better get on. I've got an escape route for you to take in order to bypass those vultures outside." Barrett said even as he began leading the family down the new escape route. If it wasn't for Alan being in a wheelchair, they could have used the fire escape stairs to make it to the parking garage, but because of the contraption they were forced to use the elevator and Barrett went out first to make sure the coast was clear.

Virgil picked Alan up in order to situate him in the shuttle, while they got his chair inside. Alan rested his head on Virgil's shoulders, giving a soft yawn.

"Looks like it might be lunch then nap, right kiddo?" Virgil asked, amused that Alan was acting like his former childish self.

"But I'm not tired." Alan said softly even as he continued resting his head on Virgil's shoulder.

"Sure you aren't sprout." Virgil said, as he sat Alan back in his chair and ignored the grumblings of his baby brother refusing sleep.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

When they reached the hotel, the brothers quickly made their way into the elevator taking their baby brother upstairs to get him situated while Jeff and Ruth went to the restaurant to get food for the family. Scott stood at the front of the elevator, Alan tucked behind him as they waited for the elevator to reach their floor.

"Do you guys think I screwed up?" Alan asked, softly from behind Scott.

"No." John said, assuredly. "I think you said what the courts needed to hear."

"Then why can't I help but feel like I screwed up royally?" Alan asked once more, feeling unsure of how everything happened that day.

"Because that's the blame game coming into play. You are the victim here Alan, not Robert…you. And that's nothing that you have to be ashamed of." Virgil said, knowing exactly what his youngest brother was getting at. He was beginning to blame himself for what happened to himself instead of those that were responsible. The doors to the elevator opened, allowing for the Tracy brothers to spill forth from the carriage.

Gordon claimed all rights to push Alan's wheelchair along while the others followed dutifully behind. When they reached the room Alan was temporarily sharing with their grandmother, Scott who held the key let them in. Virgil muscled Gordon aside in order to heft Alan out of his chair and into bed. The youngest of the five wallowed around for a little bit, until he found a comfortable position at which point he settled down. John drew the duvet up over him and once he was comfortable – completely and totally he settled back in order to relax.

"Why don't you take a nap Sprout, you'll need the energy boost." Gordon said, showing his tender side as he patted the top of Alan's head. The youngest grunted at the display of affection, but he settled and before long he settled into sleep.

Scott, John, Virgil and Gordon sat in spaces around the room, keeping watch over their youngest member. Gordon looked up first and directed the questions to his older brothers.

"So what do you guys think? Do you think Al's testimony and Robert's display will be enough to prove him guilty?"

The three elder brothers all looked at the redhead meaningfully. They all felt like Alan's testimony did just that. Having to listen to Alan's testimony, seeing his eyes become a stormy blue as he relived everything again and again, it was torture for them. So was listening to Robert's lawyer badger Alan. The three brothers all wanted to step in on Alan's behalf until the moment that Alan raised the sleeve of his shirt to reveal the scar from his surgery. That was the first time they'd seen it in person…Alan had requested Virgil not look at him when he'd been giving him his bath earlier that morning and Virgil conceded.

"Have you seen his injuries before Gordo?" Virgil asked as a thought occurred to him. Gordon hadn't appeared nearly as shocked as the rest of them when Alan had raised his sleeve.

"Yeah, don't you remember? I helped give Al a bath a few months back. I saw all of his injuries, and that was before his first surgery to fix his feet and legs." Gordon said even as he combed his fingers through his hair. "They weren't pretty, but they're Alan now."

The three eldest sat silently as they absorbed what Gordon said. As they thought it over, they realized how right Gordon was. It wouldn't matter to them if Alan was scarred for the rest of his natural life, which they knew he would be – he was still their baby brother and they still loved him dearly. Even if he was an occasional brat to them. He meant well.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Ruth and Jeff walked up the hall from the elevator, toting bags of takeout. Before entering the room, Ruth looked to Jeff and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. Her son visibly wilted and he leaned against the wall.

"I don't know what we can do any more mother. That boy is maintaining his innocence, but he's threatening Alan's life." Jeff truly didn't know what to do. The police were maintaining that they'd keep watch over Alan once he was back in the hospital and for that Jeff was grateful. He just wanted to take his son home.

"Just be there for him Jeff, he's going to need you now more than ever." Ruth said softly before she gestured wordlessly for him to open the door so that they could feed their grandsons.

Jeff shifts one of the bags in his hands to press the door key in and further open the door. Both patriarch and matriarch smiled softly at the sight. The five brothers were all in various stages of sleep, Alan being the deepest asleep. Virgil was bringing up in second place while John and Gordon fought for third. Scott was trying his damndest to stay awake and he was sitting perched in the window seat, knee bent, elbow resting upon his knee and head tilted precariously among his fist. Jeff wished his hands weren't full or he'd take a picture of the endearing image.

John and Gordon were resting against the other, back to back and heads lolling in the opposite direction. Virgil was situated in a chair by Alan's bedside, arms folded and head resting on his arms and Alan was spread out, taking up the entirety of the bed. Scott came awake after a few moments, yawning with a stretch as he looked at his father and grandmother curiously. AT the smell of lunch, Scott came more awake.

"Which one's mine?" Scott asked as he sat up straighter and gravitating towards his dad and grandmother. Ruth dug around in the bag she held before pulling a Styrofoam container from its depths and handing it to Scott. He opened the container and smelled it appreciatively. Yummy, a bacon cheeseburger. Going back over to the bed, Scott hesitated in waking any of his brothers. It would have been pointless for Scott to try. The moment he opened his container fully, the smell wafted around the room making each of his brothers – Alan included awaken and begin smelling the air. Jeff and Ruth quickly doled out the food, Jeff helping Alan eat his meal before settling to eat his own.

When Alan finished eating his lunch, he shifted in his bed with a grunt. Everybody looked to Alan and openly stared at him until Alan explained what the grunting was for.

"I keep feeling electrical like jolts in my legs and they hurt." Alan looked to Virgil who nodded before he grabbed a marked pill bottle off the bedside table and opened it. Virgil handed Alan a colored pill and Alan knocked it back with a swig of soda.

"What was that for?" Gordon asked, curious of the medicine that had been given to his little brother.

"It's a muscle relaxer. The pain Alan's feeling according to the doctor are the nerves regenerating and waking up – thereby sending signals to his leg muscle to contract. One of the signals that the surgeries are doing their job with helping Alan recover." Virgil eyed Alan's leg, looking between the limb and making eye contact with Alan before the younger blonde nodded slightly. "The doctor suggested that should Alan have muscle contractions similar to a Charlie horse, that he rub the muscle – but seeing as he doesn't really have proper use of his hand yet, the doctor told me that he or the nurses massage Alan's calf until it relaxes."

Right about then, Virgil flipped back the bedding and gently took hold of Alan's left leg. Using the movements the doctor showed Virgil before Alan was discharged the night prior, Virgil used steady pressure and rubbed down while cupping Alan's leg tenderly. Alan groaned, but soon relaxed as Virgil's ministrations began working their magic. Using his thumb, Virgil applied a bit more pressure on a knot, making Alan sigh.

"Right there Virge, that's where it really hurts." Alan reclined his head back with his eyes closed.

While Virgil continued rubbing Alan's leg, everyone focused on finishing their lunch. For the most part anyway. Scott who finished the last of his fries looked back up at Alan and questioned his brother pointedly.

"Hey Al, I'm just asking but I was curious…is spilling your dinner on that guy the only thing you did to piss off that Robert character?"

Alan opened his eyes, but refused to meet Scott's gaze. Shaking his head slightly Alan replied. "I don't know of anything else I did to make him target me. I swear, after I spilled my dinner on Robert, I tried apologizing…but he told me where I could shove my apologies and stormed away. Every single time after that, he'd simply ignore me when I tried to apologize. He'd never listen, so after a while I gave up on apologizing to him and stuck with Fermat and the other guys."

"Did you ever think he might have been jealous of your friendship with those other guys?" John asked as he heard Alan explain why Robert was mad at him. "They were at the school with Robert before you transferred in, maybe they had a history together and forgive the pun - it went up in flames…Robert considers them enemies for whatever reason and since you're their friend by proxy you're an enemy…then with you having spilled your dinner on him and befriending them in the same night, maybe he took that as an attack on him from them."

Everybody went silent after hearing John's idea. Even Alan looked contemplative. He looked as though he were trying to figure out exactly what his friends might have said or done to hint that they might have been friends with Robert before meeting and befriending Alan and Fermat.

"But if that's true, why didn't he just pick on them? Why'd he change targets and begin picking on and bullying me?" Alan asked in response to John's theory.

John shrugged at that, unsure of further motive than what he'd just suggested. Alan swallowed, looking at the remainder of his milkshake and fries – no longer having appetite enough to finish his lunch. He pushed the rest of his food towards Gordon who'd been eyeing the rest of Alan's food like a starved animal. Gordon gladly began chowing down, while Virgil stood up.

"Al, I'm going to go in and start up the shower for you so we can bathe you before we take you back to the hospital." Virgil said softly, knowing Alan would not want that too loudly advertised. The blush on Alan's face still burned brightly as he nodded. While Virgil was away, Jeff and grandma excused themselves to go talk to Brains while Virgil gave Alan another shower.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Robert kicked and screamed in his cell as he destroyed his cot's mattress. The single plastic chair that his anger management counselor left in his cell met its fate as Robert broke the legs off the chair and sent the plastic seat flying towards the steel enforced door. He stood, red faced and huffing as he looked on at the destruction he'd caused. Balling his fists, he tried to contain the intense shaking of his limbs before he began to lash out once more. If it wasn't for one of the guards coming in with handcuffs, Robert might have injured himself in the midst of his extreme tantrum.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Alan shivered as Virgil poured a cupful of water over his head for the second time that day. Once more Virgil used the palm of his hand to swipe the water from Alan's eyes so he could open them without the sting of soapy water burning his eyes. A knock at the door made Alan shift in his seat, moving his hands to cover his groin. Virgil insisted on cleaning the catheter tubing again, since as Virgil said it was such a delicate process and very important to ensure Alan didn't get a bladder infection, so Alan had nothing but his hands to cover himself with.

"What do you want?" Virgil asked as he shifted his own body to block Alan should anyone open the door. The door opened and Virgil huffed at the visitor. "Scott? We're busy!"

"I know, but I wanted to know if there was anything I could do to help." Scott said as he put the toilet lid down and taking a seat on the closed lid. Virgil didn't fuss at Alan when his little brother grasped the shower curtain and pulled it over his lap, he only sighed when Scott made himself comfy.

"Scott, Alan is barely tolerating me helping him with his bath…can you step outside until I call for you to come help?" Virgil recognized the shame burning brightly on Alan's youthful face and he felt bad that his little brother felt so humiliated thanks to current circumstances.

"Aren't you almost done?" Scott asked, cataloguing the time and questioning how long it could possibly take for Alan to take a shower.

"I can't rush Alan's bath. If he's not properly cleaned he could get an infection and get sick." Virgil said even as he used the medicated soap the doctor gave him and began running the sudsy washcloth over Alan's shoulders. Both brothers gazed at Alan's arm as Virgil ran the washcloth over his incision on his arm. It was the first time they'd really looked at Alan's arm and what they saw surprised them. It wasn't a surprise that the scar wound like a snake up Alan's arm, just that it was there at all. Alan shouldn't have such injuries.

Alan squirmed under the close scrutiny of his brothers and he shifted his gaze down at his feet which dangled mere inches from the shower floor.

"Does it hurt Alan?" Scott asked as he gestured to the incision on Alan's arm.

"Not so much now. It did for a while and sometimes when I move my arm too fast I feel the skin pull, but there's not much I can do." Alan asked even as he moved his arm, showing his brothers how the skin puckered slightly with movement. "You can touch it, I won't get mad."

Scott extended the tips of his fingers to Alan's arm and he used a feathered touch when feeling Alan's arm. The incision was raised slightly, apart from Alan's normal skin layer. Trailing his fingers over Alan's scar, his eyes watched Alan carefully. His little brother closed his eyes as if he expected to be chastised for having visible imperfections.

"I know it's ugly." Alan replied softly.

"It's not ugly Al, it's you." Scott replied reassuringly. Alan opened his eyes and met his older brother's gaze before giving him a shaky smile. It may have been a trick of the light, but Scott swore Alan's eyes shone with relief at Scott's words. "Do you mind if I help Virge with giving you your bath?"

Alan looked as though he was going to refuse Scott's help, but at the last minute he told Virgil to let Scott help. Virgil gave Scott the washcloth before focusing on putting conditioner in Alan's hair, keeping his hair moisturized and soft. Scott gently lifted Alan's arm and washed his arm pits before falling into a rhythm, like one he'd been in when bathing Alan as a small child. The only difference was Alan was twelve years bigger and parts of him that took Scott less than a minute to wash when he was a little boy took a little longer to wash now that he was bigger.

Soon though, Scott reached a part of Alan that Alan would rather nobody ever have to see but himself, and his future wife. Scott sent Alan a slightly perplexed look at the sight of the catheter tubing exiting Alan's body. Alan blushed brightly at Scott's curiosity, but soon Virgil pushed Scott away with a threat of bodily harm if he didn't hand the cloth back to the medic. Virgil went about cleaning the tubing, keeping his hand close to Alan's body. Alan looked away as if trying to ignore the close proximity of his brother's hand to a part of his body that he prefer that nobody but himself touch.

"What are you doing Virgil?" Scott asked and he observed Virgil apparently groping their youngest brother.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm cleaning the tubing." Virgil replied as he focused solely on the tubing and nothing else.

"So why are you holding Alan like that?" Scott gestured at Virgil griping the tubing between gloved fingers as if holding a cigarette.

"Because, the catheter tubing is held in place by a balloon. If I were to tug on it without securing it and it were to come out, it's would cause Alan a world of hurt and his voice might permanently go falsetto." Virgil said before grabbing a dry cloth and drying the tubing. Alan gave an 'eep' sound making Virgil chuckle. "See? What'd I tell ya? Quit gawking at me, you're making me nervous!"

Scott intentionally looked away even as Virgil grabbed a towel and draped it in Alan's lap before grabbing another towel to dry Alan with. Alan sighed grudgingly even as he raised his arm when Virgil gestured that he was going to dry Alan's under arm.

"There now, nice and squeaky clean." Virgil said before grabbing another towel and tucking it around Alan's waist. He deftly picked up his brother and waited while Scott helped fit his legs into the fresh pair of sweatpants that Alan would wear back to the hospital when he returned shortly. Both brothers were gentle with their baby brother, taking great care not to further expose Alan any more than necessary.

Once he was dressed again, Scott opened the bathroom door and Virgil breezed past. He carried Alan in his arms, barely putting any effort into holding his little brother up. Alan had certainly lost weight what with being in the hospital and getting sick from the medications they were giving him. But this was ridiculous. Setting Alan back on the bed, he smiled despite how he felt at the sight of Alan's weight loss. Alan smiled his gratitude at Virgil and Scott, before he reclined against Gordon who'd moved to sit against the headboard. The redhead turned on the TV for a while, just so the brothers could do something together as brothers before Alan had to go back to the hospital.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

Alan sank into his hospital bed with a sigh. Despite having taken a nap earlier, he was exhausted. He looked down at his wardrobe, actually for the first time in his life feeling happy and grateful for being in a hospital gown. He felt smothered in the clothes his family gave him to wear and he was itchy all over.

Rolling over, Alan clutched at his pillow before nuzzling the padded surface. It certainly felt nice to see his family all together again. The last time he got to see them was Christmas morning and that felt like ages ago. Alan found it hard to believe that four almost five months had passed since the fire occurred.

Feeling his eyes droop, Alan let his mind slip away. Better memories of his mom singing tempted him away from the land of wakefulness.

'Lucy sat on the side of Alan's bed. Alan smiled up at her, snuggled in close when she draped her arm over his shoulders. She sang softly to him, playing with his hair – easing him away. Leaning down and kissing his forehead softly as she pulled the blankets up higher on his shoulder.

"Sleep now my little star. Close those peepers and shine with the stars and planets." Lucy whispered. Alan sighed softly as he fell to sleep.

Alan could see his mom, she was beautiful. He wished he remembered her as well as his brothers. Wished he got to know her as intimately as his brothers had. All he had of her were their memories, the vague memories of her singing or scent of her perfume filling his nose. He thought back on the picture of their mom, the one Gordon loaned him and felt like a monster. Gordo's picture…it got destroyed in the fire…same as everything else.

"Alan! Wake up baby!" Lucy cried even as Alan's eyes shot open.

Finding himself yanked from bed, Alan clutched onto his mother as the room exploded into splintered wood, shattered glass and a thundering wall of snow.

He didn't really remember much from the avalanche, considering he was barely three years old. But what he did remember, haunted him. It was the kind of stuff his nightmares were about. He'd always had nightmares, since before he could remember. He could recall living in Kansas with his grandmother when he was only eight. He'd had a night terror, woke up screaming at the tops of his lungs and wet himself. It was just that much more embarrassing because he'd had a couple of friends over for a sleep over and they'd teased him for wetting the bed.

"I love you Alan, promise me you'll be a strong young man once I'm gone."