A/N: HI! I'm bonesda. I'm new to this fandom, though definitely not new to fanfiction in general (Harry Potter and Percy Jackson FF veteran). I discovered Zombies late; literally about a month ago. In that time, I've read about every fanfic on this archive (several 20-30 times, thanks StoryTime09, Fist-it-out, and krut09).
So, what is this? After watching Zombies 2 I had a few (a lot of) issues with the movie that only a few people seem to care about. I thought, 'what better way to voice my concerns with the movie?'
Preface: Zed and Addison have just finished watching Zombies 2. Does not include a reaction to the "bonus" scene (which I also have problems with).
"Oh! That was such a good ending! And that kiss! This movie was amazing," Addison said, looking at Zed for his reaction as the credits rolled on the movie they just finished.
"Did we watch the same movie?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow at the same time.
"You didn't like the kiss at the end?" she countered, moving closer to him on the couch.
"Well, I liked that bit, but mostly because it was deserved and something that needed to happen, ever since the first movie," Zed replied, bringing her into his arms as they watched the credits roll.
"Wait was that all you liked?" she asked, looking up at him.
"Kinda?!," He replied.
"What do you mean 'Kinda?!'?"
"Are you sure you want me to get into what I didn't like about it? You really want to go down that rabbit hole?" Zed asked her, pulling away again raising an eyebrow at her. "You won't get mad at me?"
"Yes! I want to know what was wrong with this movie."
"All right. Well, remember you asked," Zed replied, poking her with his finger. "Let's see," He said, tapping his finger to his lips, "First, did you notice how the movie went nowhere?"
"What do you mean it went nowhere?"
"Neither of the protagonists' story lines took them anywhere," Zed pointed out, laughing.
"What?!" Addison exclaimed, "Of course they went somewhere!"
"Eh? Not really. He didn't win the class president election (and proceeded to go to Prawn anyhow by the way) and she didn't end up a werewolf." He replied chuckling, "Think about it. By the end of the movie the reset button on both characters were pressed. They even hit reset on their relationship. Which I'm not arguing about because clearly, they were meant to be," He said, seeing her about to say something. "But neither storyline took their characters anywhere! It was the same message as the first movie; they just learned it again."
"But the werewolves!"
"Yeah about them-"
"What do you mean about 'yeah about them?'" she shouted, pushing away from him and looking like she was about to hit him.
"Hey! You said you wanted to know what I thought!" he replied, putting his arms up to defend himself. She looked at him expectantly. "Okay well it was clear they were forced into the movie."
"But they were there to explain why her hair was white," She countered.
"Except as I've pointed out all ready she was NOT a werewolf, so one of their main storylines was pointless, and really don't get me started on the hair thing-"
"What's wrong with white hair!"
"Absolutely nothing," He said soothingly. "You know I love your hair, but...Well I want you to think back to the first movie. When was 'why is her hair white' ever brought up?"
She looked thoughtful for a moment, "I don't remember the first movie that well to be honest."
He nodded, "Well the answer is its only brought up once-"
"No way! It has to have been a main point if they were all about it in this movie."
Zed laughed nodding, "I know! That's what I'm saying, but it was brought up once in the first movie. When she is first introduced, she points it out and shrugs saying something like 'We were told it's genetics.'"
"Hmm," Addison replied thinking hard. "Okay you got me on that one, but what else about the werewolves did you not like?" He looks down at her, his eyebrows raised. "Oh. That. Yeah, I knew you'd complain about that."
Zed nodded. "Yep, you know how much I love when filmmakers use the 'jealous boyfriend' trope so much."
"Yeah, it is getting a little old and very unrealistic- What?!"Addison asked as Zed sniggered at her.
"You don't remember our fifth date?" he replied, as she blushed crimson.
"She was flirting with you!"
"And you punched her!"
"She was flirting with you while I went to the bathroom after the movie we had seen."
"I was ignoring her, and you came up and nearly broke her nose! You're lucky she didn't press charges!"
Addison blushed even deeper. "Okay! Okay. I knew about the trope, but what about the music? You had to like the music! I mean they sang their song!" she said, clearly trying to change the subject.
Zed chuckled at the lack of subtlety, but replied, "Yeah, they did, but they put very little effort into it."
"What? They changed the words!"
"Yeah they did, and I loved that," he conceded. "But if you go back to the first movie, they sang it twice, and the album has full versions of the song in both styles. I bet they didn't even record a full version this time. Check the album. I'll bet it dropped either before today, or today, at the latest," Zed challenged.
Addison grabbed her phone from the coffee table in front of her and started searching for the album. She really wanted to wipe the grin off his face. She knew they would have recorded the full version, 'It was their song!' She was so sure until she found it and cried, "Oh-"
"It's just the short version they sang on screen, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is," she relented. "But that's only one song-"
"True, but the others have problems, too!" he interrupted. She looked at him, waiting for more, "Okay you know the Disney renaissance, right?" She nodded. "At the beginning of the renaissance they had two gentlemen by the names of Howard Ashman and Alan Menken. They were composers and playwrights behind The Little Mermaid and Beauty and Beast and some of Aladdin."
"Those were cartoons, though! What does this have to do with-"
"I'm getting there," Zed replied, "Anyhow, they were amazing, and one of the things they swore by was that for a musical to work properly, the songs had to function as part of the story for the movies. That does not happen with all the songs in this movie. It works with a few," he says, as she holds her finger up to make a point, "but not all. In fact, when they sing THEIR song it kind of comes out of nowhere."
Addison pouts, "Yeah, you're right about that. What else is wrong with the songs?" She asked now, curious at what else he'd spotted. He looks at her again expectantly. "Oh. Damn, I hoped you wouldn't notice that."
Zed chuckles. "Of course I was going to, seeing that you've made me watch that series a few times." She blushed. "They ripped off one of their own movies doing it."
"But she didn't know where she belonged, so she had to sing about it."
"Doesn't mean they had to rip themselves off doing it."
Addison sighed and said, "What's next on this list of yours?"
"Well, the pacing is terrible."
"How so?"
"The ending happens in all of 15 minutes!"
"Fair, but that's how all Disney Channel movies end."
"I know, but it doesn't mean it has to be that way," he countered, as she nodded. "The pacing problems also come in with our female lead's storyline, too." Addison tilts her head to the side and gestures for Zed to continue. "Well, honestly, she comes off as a bit naïve and selfish." Addison's eyes go wide at that comment. "Wait for me to explain please!" Zed says quickly, as she huffs and again gestures to continue. "So, she has a fight with her boyfriend, and then that night, the new kids come to her door, and they say, 'Come with us' and she goes!"
"She wants to trust them!" Addison exclaims, "They had not given her any reason not to trust them. I'm trusting, too."
"Yeah, but you would have told me or someone else where you were going. Not just left without telling anyone." Addison huffs and gestures to continue once again. "So, when they get there, they tell her the prophecy and they start singing. The next thing we know BAM! She wants to be a werewolf and they give her a makeover."
"That was a bit jarring," Addison concedes again. "What else did you spot?"
"Did you spot the wardrobe change at the end?"
"What wardrobe change?"
"She's wearing different shoes for the final number," Zed said.
Addison laughed. "What? How the hell did you spot that?"
"I pay attention to the little things."
"That's really a complaint you have? Her actress probably just didn't want to have to sing and dance in high heels," Addison pointed out sympathetically.
"Fair, but it's still valid." Addison just laughs at him. "Fine, make fun of me." Zed pouts.
"Oh! Don't be a baby. You know I respect your opinion and I know you respect mine." She moves forward and brushes his nose in an Eskimo kiss. "Come on, zombie. Let's go to bed," She said, pulling him up with her and to their bedroom.
A/N: Well what did you think? I thought this up in bed legitimately last night (3/2). I've thought about diving into fanfiction again for a while now and I may write a series of one shots (Yes I am interested in exploring that fifth date). Let me know what you thought in the reviews and remember to respect everyone's opinion!