Time seemed to have slowed down as they sat there, staring at the town they called home for what felt like forever. They were both aware of what was going to happen, but neither really wanted it.

But Bickslow really needed to get it over with, because the longer he sat there, the more he was inclined to just say, 'Fuck it,' and forget about all of it. But that wasn't the right thing to do. He had to believe that the right thing to do was letting her go, no matter how much it hurt him to do it.

"You shouldn't be here," he mumbled, not even bothering to glance in her direction.

"Why?" Lucy asked quickly, not looking up.

"Because I don't want you here."

She could feel the sting of tears in her eyes as her knuckles tightened on the edge of the stone by her legs. "So… You don't want me then?" she whispered, holding back the tears.

You couldn't be more wrong. He looked away. Bickslow knew she was so close to leaving, close to it being over and he wouldn't even be able to do anything about it. But it was what had to be done.

Lucy took his silence as a yes, bringing her knees up to stand. "So that's it? It's that simple?" she whispered. Because if that was the case, then she didn't think there was anything she could do about it. She'd thought there would be more to it. Apparently she'd been wrong about a lot of things.

But Bickslow still couldn't answer. He was ready to let her believe whatever it is she wanted to believe, just because he couldn't lie to her.

"Right then…" she whispered again, wiping her hand across her cheek as she turned. It was done. Over. She didn't know how it had happened so suddenly. Maybe he realised he was bored. Because after all, everything was a game to Bickslow. But she stopped, looking over her shoulder before she could walk away. "You know, it's funny. I thought I was actually falling in love with you. Guess I was stupid." And she didn't care how stupid it sounded, because they were done. There was no point of hiding it. And if it was all just a game to Bickslow, perhaps he'd find her stupidity amusing.

Maybe she'd be able to look back on it one day and laugh about it, too.

And just like that, everything stopped for Bickslow. He knew at that moment that there was no way he was going to be able to let her leave like that – at least not until he'd explained it, because fuck, was he regretting everything.

So his hand caught her wrist before she could get too far away. "Wait," he said.

"Bicks, please…" She used her free hand to wipe away the tears, not even trying to hold them back anymore. Everything just hurt, way too much.

And he could hear it in her voice - just how much he'd hurt her. Hurting her had never been part of his plans, but he hadn't thought it through completely. It was too late for that now, but he could at least try and make it better. "Just sit, please. Let me explain it."

"There's nothing to explain. I get it."

He finally looked up, finally seeing her face that made his chest hurt all the more. "Trust me, I do. Please," he pleaded.

Even though Lucy had no idea what could possibly need to be explained, she sat back down anyway, because she still cared about Bickslow even though the man had essentially just broken her heart in two.

He ran a hand through his hair as he took a shaky breath. There was no way the things he was about to say would be easy to get out, but they needed to be said, just because he didn't think he'd be able to cope with Lucy hating him. Maybe, just maybe, if she understood why, then it wouldn't be as bad as it currently was.

"This is going to be really hard for me, so please, just… Just bear with me for a bit," he said quietly. He waited for her to nod slowly before he went on, taking another shaky breath. "This… This isn't because I don't want you. Fuck, it's… It's the complete opposite of that. It's because I don't deserve you."

"What?"

Bickslow sighed. He almost wanted to laugh. "I just don't deserve you," he repeated. "I've done some pretty terrible things to you in the past, and yet somehow, you're still here and I don't know why. I… I let myself forget everything I've done, forget everything that happened on this day and I just…" He trailed off, looking down at the small cracks in the stone beneath him. "You deserve someone who isn't me," he mumbled.

Lucy raised her hand to touch his arm, and just before her fingers could feel the fabric, she pulled her hand back. She had to remind herself she couldn't do that now, even though she wanted to.

But more than anything, she was mad at Bickslow. Not for breaking her heart, but instead for acting like he got to decide who she deserved. That was for her to decide and her alone.

"I hate myself more than you could know right now, because I somehow I let myself believe that I was good enough for you."

And that was where Lucy drew the line. Even though she just wanted to go back home and curl up into a ball and cry herself to sleep, she couldn't, because she couldn't sit there and listen to Bickslow say that he hated himself.

"Bickslow, you don't get to choose who I deserve, and you also don't get to sit there feeling guilty over things that happened eight years ago," she said, voice still wavering.

"It was only one year for us…" he mumbled, shifting uncomfortably.

"Technicality." Lucy tried not to roll her eyes. "The point is, it's in the past. I thought you knew I forgave you for that. Everyone has," she said softly.

"I know, but it's still stuck in my head. I can't just move on and pretend like it didn't happen." Because you'll constantly remind me of it and I don't think I can handle that.

"Then don't pretend it didn't happen. Find a way to turn the bad memories into good ones," Lucy suggested.

He leant back again, staring up at the stars once more. "Nothing good happened then."

And momentarily, Lucy could forget just how upset she was, and it was all because Bickslow was the one who really needed things explained to him. Without thinking, she sat up to straddle his hips and dropped her hands to each side of his face as she ignored the confused expression on his face.

"You met me on this day, didn't you?" she whispered. And sure, it had been under pretty terrible circumstances, but that didn't matter.

"Yeah… Which is why this day kind of sucks…"

Lucy shook her head. "If you hadn't met me then, then maybe we wouldn't be here. And I don't know about you, but I was pretty happy over the last month and a half."

The corners of his mouth upturned slightly, because she was right. Maybe something good had come out of that day. But then the slight smile he had was lost when he thought about just how happy he had been with her. But that was gone, and it was his fault. "You have no idea how happy you made me," He whispered sadly, because he already missed that happiness.

And Lucy didn't like seeing Bickslow sad, just like any normal person doesn't enjoy seeing someone they care for sad. Even though she knew the pain was still there, that he'd broken her heart, she still felt like she could forgive him, just because she wanted to believe that there was a slight chance that maybe, just maybe, it didn't have to end that way.

The way Lucy understood it was that Bickslow was doing what he thought was right for her. What Bickslow didn't realise was that Lucy didn't think that was the right thing, because she still thought that he was right Bickslow. She thought he was the one she deserved.

"Do I still make you happy?" she asked. Because if she still was able to make Bickslow happy, then she couldn't see a reason for it to actually be the end.

"Yes." And you always will, because as long as you're happy, I'm happy.

"Do you still want me?"

"You know I do."

"And do you deserve me?"

"No."

Lucy frowned slightly. Even though she hated his answer, she wasn't done with her questions. One terrible answer she could deal with. "But do I deserve you?" she asked softly.

And Bickslow couldn't answer that with a simple yes or no, because neither really worked. But regardless or whether they worked or not, he knew that neither was the answer she wanted. "I can't decide that."

And she smiled at that, just for a second. "So why did you break my heart?"

And suddenly, all of the pain was back. He was painfully aware of how much he'd hurt her, just from that day alone, and it had really never been his intention. He closed his eyes, wanting to shut out the sight of her above him. He could see in her eyes that it was really the truth – that he'd broken her heart, and he was at the point where he was so close to losing himself from it.

He was a mess right then, on the verge of being overwhelmed from everything he'd caused, and that meant losing control, and he still didn't want Lucy to ever have to see that. It was the same thing as with his parents – the sudden tightness in his chest and not being able to breathe, heart beating a million miles an hour. But it wasn't his parents he missed then, it was Lucy, even if she was right there.

"Because I thought it was the right thing to do," Bickslow mumbled, still not opening his eyes.

"You thought it was the right thing to do?" she whispered. "To break my heart?" She didn't believe that. She just needed him to see what it sounded like to her. Because once he could see things from her perspective, then maybe, just maybe, they'd be able to get through it.

And hearing her say it like that made him realise just how absolutely stupid he had been. He pushed his head back into the stone as he covered his eyes with his forearm. "God, I'm so sorry. I never… I just… I'm sorry…" Bickslow shook his head as tried to steady his breathing.

"Bicks?" She watched how his chest was rising and falling quickly and how he'd pressed his arm across his eyes. She'd read bits and pieces of the book on Seith magic and even though a lot of it she didn't understand because she still had a lot to learn about his magic, the one part she'd understood was where it mentioned the most common reasons for Seith mages to ever lose control, the most common cause being when the mage became overwhelmed by their emotions. They'd lose their focus and then their control. She could only assume that's what was happening, and she could help but be worried. "Eyes?" she whispered.

All he could do was nod slowly. He knew she'd been reading the book, because she'd brought up small facts every now and then that she thought were interesting. But he never knew just how much she'd read.

But, Lucy still trusted him, even though she was witnessing him lose his control. It didn't look pleasant; he almost looked like he was in pain and she hated seeing him like that. "Bicks, look at me," she said quietly, trying to lift his arm.

"No."

So when he resisted, she stopped but kept her hand around his wrist. "Bickslow, please. I trust you," she whispered, because that was the point - she still trusted him. She'd read enough of the book to know that more often than not, it wasn't the actual Figure Eyes activating, it was just the mage's ability to be able to see souls being activated, and that was one of the main misconceptions about Seith magic. Because that part of their magic was inextricably linked to Figure Eyes. Many who didn't know about it just assumed that it was their Figure Eyes and that being able to see souls was a constant thing, when in reality, it wasn't.

Bickslow didn't know she knew that much about it. Most of the time it was just easier to go along with what people assumed, and since not many people cared about Seith magic, it didn't matter if he corrected the few people that had ever asked him about that, because one person trying to prove that everything the average person believed about Seith magic was wrong wasn't going to have an effect on the stigma that had been around for decades, even centuries. There was just no point.

But just hearing that she trusted him was enough to calm him down a tiny bit, because Lucy could always somehow make things better. Somehow.

"Look at me," she whispered again, lifting his arm slowly when he finally let her before her hands returned to the sides of his face. "Please."

He knew the difference between his types of magic so he knew he wasn't going to take control of her should he open his eyes, but it was still never fun to experience. But he still wasn't going to argue with her. Not anymore. He was done with doing anything that would come to close to hurting her.

So Lucy watched as his eyes slowly opened, blinking a few times as he adjusted to the slight glare that he always got when he first started using it. She smiled slightly when he finally looked her in the eyes, and for the first time, she got to see how different his eyes were when he was using his magic.

She'd always loved the shade of the red they were and how the concentric rings were barely a shade darker, but she looked at how bright the green was too, and how if she looked closed enough, she could see how it was more of an overlaid colour with the red undertone peeking through.

He'd never made much of point of using his magic unless he was in a fight, but he'd also never had someone so close to him whilst he was using it, let alone looking him directly in the eyes. No one had ever done that before because he'd never let them. No one apart from her.

And somehow, just by the way she as smiling and looking at him right then, he felt like that he actually deserved to be with her, just a little bit. He'd broken her heart yet she was still there.

Slowly, he lifted a hand to cup her face, his thumb brushing across the top of her cheek. He honestly didn't think he'd be able to let her go like that, not with the ways things were in that moment. And even though deep down, he knew he didn't deserve her and probably never would, he still wanted her, more than she could know. Bickslow could only hope that wanting her would be enough, that it wasn't too late to fix things, because hell, had he fucked up.

He guided her face down, his other hand going to the other side of her face as her lips finally touched his softly. He didn't think they'd ever shared a kiss so full of emotion, so tender, and he didn't want it to end. But he pulled away, just enough to whisper, "I'm so sorry."

Suddenly, there was a loud booming noise coming from above and they both sat up to see what it was. Spelled in the night sky above the central path were the words 'Fairy Tail', crackling away between the fireworks and the guild logo made of fire, signalling the end of Fantasia. And Lucy smiled softly, because when she turned back to Bickslow, he was smiling at the same thing.

"Bickslow…" she whispered, looking down at her feet hanging over the edge of the stone sign. "I don't… I don't want this to be the end."

And even though they were the words he wanted to hear, to let him know that they could find a way to fix things, there was still a part of him that didn't believe it would work. "But I hurt you," he said. "How can you even stand to be around me?"

"Because I know that you're sorry, and I… I have to believe that if we try, we'll be able to get past this." She wanted to get past that.

"I…" She wants to get past this? How, how in the world will that ever happen? "I don't think I'll be able to. I… I want to, but I just… I don't think I can."

"Then let me help you, so we can together."

Together.

The word echoed in his mind, over and over. Because if she was there with him, he felt like everything would be okay. Because if they were together, he felt like he didn't have to worry about anything else, because she would be all that matters.

"How do you do it?" he muttered. Seeing the blank expression on her face at his question, he continued, "How do you make me feel like I'm good enough for you? After everything I've done."

And she smiled, because slowly, she realised she was getting through to Bickslow, and they were one step closer to being able to find a way to get through things. "Because maybe you are."

"I really wish I was." Because if I was, then everything would be so much easier and none of this would have happened.

"But what about me?" she asked, moving to rest her head on his shoulder as they both continued to watch the fireworks. "What if I feel like I deserve you?"

"Then you're an idiot, 'cause you deserve someone far better than me."

"I don't want someone better than you."

And slowly but surely, Bickslow was beginning to see just how much Lucy was trying – trying to help him understand how much he meant to her. But he'd still gone and screwed it all up, because he was an idiot, and he knew that. Even though he'd made things worse, he realised she was willing to trust him and forgive him again.

Because she'd been falling in love with him.

"Did you mean it?" he asked. Because if she really had been, then maybe, if they could fix it, his dream of one day wouldn't just be a dream.

"Mean what?"

"Were you really falling in love with me?"

Lucy sat up abruptly with a short laugh, wiping away the dried tears. She felt silly now that Bickslow was asking it. She knew you weren't supposed to just tell someone you're falling in love with them, not unless it's said as parting words - which when she'd uttered it, that's what they'd been. But that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that even though he'd broken her heart and she felt like just being able to talk it through was helping it be mended, she still didn't think she'd stopped falling in love with Bickslow. Because even though he'd been the cause for her pain then, she felt like he was still the reason for her happiness.

She didn't want someone better than Bickslow because she still felt like there wasn't anyone better than Bickslow. And maybe, just maybe she was feeling that way because she herself was a mess, but over everything, she still didn't want things to end. In such a short amount she'd grown so attached to him and even though he'd broken her heart, somewhere deep down, she knew that he could fix it too.

"It was stupid… I shouldn't have said it…" she mumbled.

And with each second passing by, Bickslow could feel things already starting to get better. Only slightly, but better. His hand came to rest softly against her cheek as he turned her to face him again, and he kissed her. He couldn't have stopped himself if he tried, because even though she hadn't actually said yes or no, he knew that she had been falling in love with him, because Lucy didn't lie. He knew that about her.

A surge of happiness went through him. She'd been falling in love with him. Him, of all people. It was the thing he'd been hoping for since the beginning yet never truly expected her to come close to it. But fuck, he still didn't want things to end either, and he realised he probably never would. He wanted to fix things. He was going to fix things, he knew that. He was going to be selfish and hold on to what he wanted, which was her.

Bickslow realised he'd been wrong. He'd been wrong about lots of things, but one of the most important things was that he'd been wrong to think that she was the reason for his pain that day. Lucy could and would never be the cause of pain. Nothing was her fault. It was all his. He'd been hurting himself, trying to convince himself that letting her go was the right thing, when he knew now that it wasn't. He'd been hurting himself by remembering the bad things. The things he'd done.

But those things were in the past. The past didn't matter, because right then, she was there and she was still with him. Even after everything. And even though it hurt, he was smiling, because she was there, and she was the source of his happiness. She always would be.

Bickslow knew then that he'd be able to move on from the past. And sure, it would take a while which he accepted, but she'd be there helping him through it. She'd help him remember the good things, like the fact that he had met her on that day, and even though back then he'd thought she was weak, he knew that he was the weak one. Not her. She'd never been weak.

And maybe, if none of that had happened, all those years ago… If he decided to believe in all of that fate and destiny bullshit… Then maybe they wouldn't be there then, and maybe the last month and a half wouldn't have happened, and that was one thing he never wanted to forget.

So as he rested his forehead against hers, he whispered against her lips, "It's not stupid." And it really hadn't been stupid, because it made him realise that it wasn't just him wanting her to be with him right then, it was him needing her to stay. "Please, don't go."

Just hearing Bickslow ask her not to leave was enough for the tears to start rolling down her face again as she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder.

Even though everything still hurt, Lucy knew it would get better, because they were going to get through it. She'd help Bickslow find a way to forgive himself because she knew he wouldn't on his own. He needed her to help him see that he could, and that, she would be there for. Because she was going be there for him.

"I'm not going anywhere," Lucy cried into the fabric of his shirt as his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her in and holding her tight.

They stayed like that, sitting in silence in the same place they'd met technically eight years earlier. They stayed until the fireworks had long finished and the festival had come to an end as everyone went back to their homes.

And so, after a while, Lucy turned her head on his shoulder to look up at Bickslow, "Now, I don't know about you…" she began quietly with a small smile on her lips. "But I've had a pretty stressful day, and I'd really love to just go home."

Bickslow nodded as he pulled her to her feet gently. He couldn't have expected to be able to sit up there all night holding her, it was an unrealistic expectation, but he could take her home. He'd do whatever she wanted.

But when he started looking over his shoulder and turning slightly with his brow furrowed in confusion, Lucy looked up again and asked, "What is it?"

"I… I have no idea where the babies are." Because through everything, he hadn't noticed them disappearing again and going off and doing their own thing. "I lost my babies." And he laughed – mostly at himself, but it was enough to get Lucy to smirk and laugh along with him, even if it was over something silly.

But either way, he liked it.