It wasn't long after Lucy's fainting spell did her team decide to leave, leaving just the Raijinshuu, Laxus, Gajeel, and Levy in the building. Bickslow had been laying in the net under the trapeze as they left, just because he'd known that if he saw her leave, he'd want to go and make sure Lucy was okay.

As soon as they'd gone, Freed had turned to Evergreen with a sigh. "Well, I guess the runes I set up earlier were of no use…"

Bickslow's interest rose when he heard that, because as far as he was aware, the only runes in the entire building were the ones in the centre, and that was just so they didn't destroy the building when they sparred.

"What runes?" he asked from the net, sniffling again.

"Uh… well…" Evergreen glanced nervously between Freed and Laxus.

"I set up runes early this morning that would stop Erza and Gray from using their magic if yourself and Lucy were in the immediate area…" Freed explained, an apologetic smile on his face. "We forgot to tell you that we planned today just so you two would be able to tell Erza and Gray… With a lower possibility of your death being an outcome."

Bickslow crawled to the edge of the net to glare at his team. "You forgot?"

"Well… To be fair, you did kind of spring us with the whole declaration thing, and plans changed," Evergreen said quietly.

"…Fair point."

By that night, Bickslow was sitting in the corner of his lounge, his legs crossed under him as he stared at the rug in front of him. He had a box of tissues next to him on the lounge and he'd ended up pulling the blanket from his bed.

He was sick, and it was all Lucy's fault.

Lucy, on the other hand, couldn't wait to get out of her apartment. Erza had called Wendy over as soon as they'd gotten back to Magnolia just to check if she was fine and if there was any lasting damage, and like Lucy had expected, she'd been fine. She wasn't used to being upside down and the pressure had caused her to faint, there was nothing else to it.

It was a little after nine by the time they'd all left, Natsu and Happy being the last ones because he'd wanted to ask her about Bickslow, but honestly, Lucy hadn't known the answer to his question because it was the same question Levy had asked – did she actually love Bickslow?

The answer was still the same too, that being that she didn't know. Maybe? Probably? That was the best she could give.

So when she finally reached his apartment, she didn't bother knocking on his door, just because she knew he never locked it and he didn't care if she just walked in.

When Lucy did walk in, she didn't even say anything and neither did Bickslow. Instead, she just smiled weakly at the sight of him curled up under his duvet and walked over to the lounge, lifting up the edge of the blanket to climb under it before resting her head on his shoulder as she cuddled up to his side.

Then, after a while of just enjoying the silence and being in each other's company even though one of them was sick, Bickslow finally whispered, "Sorry for the handstand thing."

"It's fine. Sorry for the… other thing," she mumbled. She didn't even have to say what she meant because she knew Bickslow figured it out.

"Do we, uh… need to talk about that?"

Lucy winced slightly as she pulled the blanket up higher. "Would you be mad at me if we didn't?" she asked quietly.

Even though Bickslow had blurted out his feelings not that Lucy was sure if he'd meant it or not, but based on his reaction it had been as unexpected for him as it was for her - Lucy still wasn't sure of her own. And until she was sure, she just didn't want to have that conversation with Bickslow.

But neither was Bickslow, whether Lucy knew it or not. Admitting his feelings to himself was one thing, but admitting it to someone else, especially Lucy, was something else entirely. Even though he'd blurted out how he felt (accidentally), he still didn't think it really counted. Because to Bickslow, until he was ready to say those three little words to her, it didn't count.

It didn't matter that Lucy had already said it, because whether or not she'd meant it in her half-asleep and bedridden state, she still didn't know about it. Bickslow knew she was still unsure and he couldn't be mat at her for that, not when he'd been in the same situation just hours earlier. It wouldn't be fair to be mad at her for that.

"Kinda glad you said that," he whispered before reaching for the tissue box beside him to blow his nose. Then, after another short moment of silence, he tilted his head to rest on top of hers. "You're gonna get sick again."

Lucy shrugged slightly. "I don't care. If I do, we can be sick together," she said with a slight giggle, one that Bickslow couldn't help but chuckle at.

And this why I love you.

He could admit that to himself.

Because if she was willing to sit there and keep him company even though she'd most likely end up sick again, then she really was amazing. Or insane. Or a mix of both.

It took Bickslow a week before he got better and was able to leave his apartment. Lucy had somehow only managed to get the sniffles for a few days, so honestly, it could have been worse.

After that, Lucy and Team Natsu had gone out on another job which had her leaving a few days before what would be three months since their first date, and even though she'd rather be spending that day with Bickslow, she couldn't exactly explain why they needed to push a job back a few days, so she'd just had to get over it.

And honestly, Bickslow had been a little disappointed that she'd be gone for it because three months of dating was a big thing, at least it was to him. Even they they'd been a little awkward around each other since the day in the gym, both knowing that there was something they needed to talk about, they still cared for each other. That hadn't chance.

So while Bickslow was still trying to figure out when exactly he'd fallen in love with her, Lucy was trying to determine if she even loved Bickslow or not. It was a lot harder than she'd expected too, because while Bickslow had his team and his friends to basically spell it out for him, Lucy really only had Natsu, and he wasn't exactly willing to help her out. He still wasn't the biggest supporter of their relationship, but he knew that Bickslow made her happy, so that was all that kept him from tearing the guy's tongue out and setting it on fire. That being said, he was starting to warm up to the idea, especially after hearing Bickslow's accidental declaration.

When their job started wrapping up at the beginning of December and Lucy actually had time to think for a second, the only thing on her mind was Bickslow and the conundrum she found herself dealing with. Lucy was absolutely clueless when it came to the love, and she'd be the first to admit that. Much like Bickslow, she could wrap her head around dating because dating was easy, but only in comparison to love, that is. Love was scary. It was terrifying, because to her, she saw it as completely giving her heart to someone and they'd have the power the shatter it in just a single heartbeat. That thought scared her.

It had gotten to the point though where she was so desperate for help with figuring it out that she decided to go to Erza on one of the quieter nights they'd had since they'd begun tracking a bandit group to their location. Erza had read enough romance novels to know the ins and outs of it. Well, that's what Lucy thought anyway.

So as she climbed into her tent with the Requip mage, with the boys on lookout for the night and out of earshot, she turned to her friend for help. "Erza, can I ask you something?" Lucy said, biting on her lip.

"Of course," Erza replied as she finished buttoning up her pyjama shirt.

"Well… You, uh… You heard how I've been seeing someone, right?"

Erza narrowed her eyes slightly at the woman. "They didn't hurt you, did they?" she said. "Do I need to teach someone a lesson?"

"No, no!" Lucy said, a nervous chuckle escaping as she threw her hands up. "I just… You'll probably think it's silly but, I don't really know how I feel about them… And… And it's honestly been driving me insane," she whispered.

There was a moment of silence as Erza considered the blonde's words. "I don't think it's silly," she said softly. Lucy couldn't help but sigh in relief. "I'm assuming you need help deciding if you love them or not, correct?"

Lucy nodded as she looked down. "It's embarrassing…" she mumbled. "I mean, I feel like I should know… I just… don't."

"Love can be a complicated thing. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Now, tell me how they make you feel and I'll see if I can be of assistance," Erza said kindly, patting the spot on the thin mattress next to her.

Lucy shifted around in the small tent to sit down next to Erza, and then when she got comfortable, she looked down at her hands between her folded legs. "I don't know where to begin. I mean… He just makes me happy. It's hard not to be happy when I'm with him, I guess," she mumbled.

"What else?"

"Going out on jobs is really hard, because most of the time, all I really care about is being back in Magnolia so I can just spend time with him, just… Just sitting with him and reading…" Lucy sighed as she picked at her nails. "I feel like everything is better when I'm with him… Like everything that's wrong with the world doesn't matter anymore."

Erza was smiling softly as Lucy spoke. She didn't even have to say anything because Lucy just started rambling, listing all of the things that she loved and all of the things that drove her absolutely insane. The Requip mage sat and listened to every word, and as she did so, she realised that Lucy didn't need someone to help her decide where her feelings lay. She needed someone to listen. She already had all of the information there for her, she just needed to talk about it for her to realise it herself.

Because to Erza, whoever it was that Lucy was seeing, she loved them, and it was just a matter of Lucy being able to see it.

When Lucy finally realised she'd been rambling on for a good twenty minutes about Bickslow, of course having tried her best to avoid giving too much detail, she gasped and put her hands to her face, shaking her head slightly. "Oh god. I just kept talking and talking."

"It's fine," Erza chuckled. "So, what do you think?"

Lucy gawked at her friend for a second. "That's what you were for!" she wailed.

"You didn't need me. I think you had your answer right there all along. You just needed to say it out loud. So, what do you think?"

"I…" Lucy furrowed her brow in confusion as the words sunk in. Slowly, she replayed every single word she'd said back in her head, over and over again. Each time she did so, she began to understand what Erza had meant just a little bit more.

She was kind of right. The answer had been there the entire time but she'd been ignoring it.

At some point, she'd crossed over from falling in love with Bickslow, to actually being in love with him. She didn't know when it had happened, but it had. At some point.

And whether she knew it or not, she was just as terrified as Bickslow was.

"Crap… You're right," Lucy whispered. She was too busy staring at a small mark on the inside of the tent wall to care about the fact that Erza had just pulled her in for a hug. Although right then, she was a little glad that for once, since it wasn't her armour her had been smashed against. "I should have come to you sooner," she laughed quietly. Hell, maybe if she'd gone to Erza sooner, she would have been able to tell her who it actually was.

No… Bickslow would be dead if that had happened, and there's no way I'd be able to deal with that.

When Lucy returned from her job a few days later, she didn't go to the guild and she didn't go back to her own house. She went straight for Bickslow's. She didn't care that it was eight o'clock in the morning and Bickslow wouldn't be awake, because they needed to have that conversation that they'd been putting off.

Bickslow looked up from his bowl of cereal at his dining table when his door opened. When he saw Lucy's face, he knew exactly what was going to happen, and for once, he wasn't smiling. He still wasn't ready for that conversation, but whether he wanted it to happen or not, it was happening.

"We need to talk," she said, pushing the door closed behind her.

"Yeah… probably…" Bickslow mumbled as he pushed his chair back to carry his bowl over to the sink. Yeah, no way I'm going to be eating now.

And then, there was an awkward silence as they stood on opposite sides of the room staring at each other, neither really wanting to be the one to start the dreaded conversation. But Bickslow had always been good at breaking silences. Honestly, it was a bit of a gift. "Did you just get back?" he asked.

Lucy sighed as she folded her arms. "Don't change the subject, Bicks."

He nodded once. "Right… Yeah… So…" Fuck me, this sucks.

After another moment of awkward silence, Lucy was the one to break it. "Did you mean it?" she asked quietly.

"It's… complicated." Or, in other words, 'Yes, I meant it, but I'm still not ready to actually say it again since I hadn't meant to say it in the first place.'

Lucy stared at the Seith mage from across the room, "It's complicated?! How is it complicated, Bickslow? It's a yes or no answer," she shouted.

Bickslow winced slightly as she yelled. He couldn't remember her ever yelling at him before. He'd seen her yell at Natsu and Gray, and he was beginning to see why they were so terrified of her. "It's not that simple…"

"I'm failing to see how it's anything but simple."

"Like I said, it's complicated!" Bickslow couldn't help but shout.

Lucy unfolded her arms with a single nod as she looked over the room slowly. "Well, Bickslow…" she began in a surprisingly calm manner, walking back over to the door. "It's either you meant it, or you didn't. That's it."

And when Bickslow saw her hand rest on the door handle, he knew he only had a short amount of time to do anything about it. But… he couldn't. He'd gladly admit to anyone that knew about them that he was in love with her, but he couldn't admit it to her even thought she was the only one who mattered. He wanted to, but he couldn't. It was like even fibre of his being was stopping him from doing so. All he could do was stare as she slowly turned the handle.

Lucy could feel the tears threatening to spill as she pulled the door open slowly. "Well, when you figure it out, you know where to find me." And before Bickslow could even say or move a muscle, she'd slammed the door behind herself again.

As she slid down the closed door to the ground, she heard something smash from inside his apartment and then the tears came. She refused to believe that that was the end, not after all of the time and effort they'd put in to getting past their last problem.

She knew Bickslow did stupid things, and Lucy just had to hope that this was the same thing. She had to hope he was just having trouble coming to terms with his feelings, just like she had been. Even though he hadn't said those exact three little worlds that any girl would love to hear, he'd said something close enough, so why would he say it if he didn't mean it? That's what Lucy didn't understand.

She just had to hope that he did mean it and that he just needed time to accept it, just like she had.

She had to hope that he'd realise it before she had to come true on her promise of walking away without looking back if he broke her heart, and at that point, it was only just being held together and she didn't know how long she could wait for Bickslow.