It took Lucy until the end of September before she was able to do what she needed to be done; before she was able to do what Bickslow had told her to do.
For weeks, she laid in her bed and moped around her apartment, and every single day, she thought about those she'd lost. She thought about the ones she loved and how they were gone, and for a while, she really did hate them.
She hated everyone for leaving; she hated everyone for doing the one thing she knew she had to do, but couldn't bring herself to do. She didn't think it was fair. How could everyone just get up and leave? How could everyone just leave their lives behind and move on? How could they forget about everything; how could they forget about her?
But, after a while where all of her thoughts had become dark and twisted, Lucy remembered that everyone really was just doing what she couldn't do. She really did know that she had to leave Magnolia, but it was hard. Magnolia was her home, and it always would be her home. It was where she had almost all of her best memories, but, it was also where some of the most painful came from.
Magnolia: the home of Fairy Tail. It was the home of her crazy, dysfunctional, psychotic, destructive, downright fucked up, but overall loving and supporting family. It served as a family to those who didn't have one, and that's what it had become to Lucy. Fairy Tail would always be her family, whether the guild existed or not.
It was where she'd met her best friends, the same ones that would always be her best friends and were part of the reason she'd smiled every day. It was where she'd met everyone that meant the most to her, and would always be special to her.
It was where she'd met Bickslow. She'd met Bickslow in Magnolia, and even though it had been a pretty terrible day as a whole, without the events that occurred, maybe the last year wouldn't have happened. It was where she'd met the love of her life; the only man she ever would or could love, and it was where she'd lived the best year of her life.
Because it was with Bickslow.
And to that day, her relationship with Bickslow was still something she'd never expected, but she didn't hate a single moment of it, and she never would. She was so glad that everything that had happened had actually happened, including the moments that had been painful. But, no matter how many good memories she had of Magnolia, there were always going to be the bad ones, and it was the bad ones she needed to forget.
She needed to forget that it was where the guild had once been, and now it only served as a painful reminder as to what once existed, but now never would again. She needed to forget that it was where she'd lost Aquarius, and the most painful of all, she needed to try and forget that it was where she'd lost her baby.
Because with each day that passed, Lucy thought about it. She couldn't help but think about it, because it still hurt. She'd lost something – someone – that would've become the centre of her world, right there next to Bickslow. She felt as if something was missing in her life, now that she truly felt alone, and she knew exactly what it was.
It was what she'd had taken; it was what she no longer had, and it was both Bickslow and the baby she'd lost.
She really had wanted to hate Bickslow for leaving her, especially when she needed him. She would always need him, no matter where he was, because there was never going to be a day where she didn't love Bickslow. And that was something she'd resigned to, eventually. She'd resigned to the fact that she really was going to love and miss Bickslow every single day for the rest of her life, and more than anything, she hoped that the ache in her heart would get better with time.
Because after all, wasn't there a saying that says time heals all wounds?
Lucy had to believe that with time, her heart that had been completely shattered – and not just entirely by Bickslow – would eventually be whole again. Or, as close to whole as it was going to get.
She had to believe that things would get better and that one day, she'd be happy again. She promised she'd at least try and be happy and move on, and she was going to do her best to make good on that promise, because Lucy didn't want her last promise to Bickslow to be one she couldn't fulfil.
So eventually, it really did become time to leave. She had to move on, and she had to try and live the life that Bickslow wanted for her, because somewhere deep down, she knew that what Bickslow had done really was for her. She hadn't understood it at the time, but as the weeks went on and she remained alone, she saw just why Bickslow had left. He'd left because he'd known before Lucy did that he was all that was keeping her in Magnolia, and he's felt like he was stopping her from being happy. Because as long as she was there, she wasn't going to be able to move on.
Lucy could see that Bickslow had sacrificed his own happiness, just for hers. No, the possibility of hers.
And one day, when she was somewhat happy again, she was going to be thankful for that. She was going to be thankful that Bickslow had done something that she would not have been able to do on her own.
And once Lucy had come to realise just what Bickslow had done and why he'd done it, she had been ready to leave, so she started packing up all of her things, and got ready to leave. She started saying her goodbyes to those who still remained, and she was a little glad that there weren't that many people left.
Soon, she was just about ready to go off on her own adventure, but she still had two more goodbyes, so late on the afternoon she was finally leaving, Lucy found herself knocking on the door to Laxus and Mira's house. As soon as the heavy door had opened, Lucy had been pulled into Mira's arms, and Lucy tried her hardest not to cry. There'd been a reason she'd left Laxus and Mira until the very last, and that was because just after Lucy had started packing up her things and began saying her goodbyes, the eldest Strauss had announced her own pregnancy, and it had really stung.
She was so happy for her friends, but it hurt, and she was determined to keep just how much it hurt her from her friends. She didn't want Mira – or Laxus – to feel any guilt over something she knew deep down that she couldn't have controlled. No one should have to feel guilty, nor should they feel sorry for Lucy. No should have to experience her pain.
No one except for Lucy.
So when Mira finally pulled away, with the assistance of Laxus, Lucy smiled and looked to the bawling mage. "I promise I'll write once I get a new place, okay?" she said, blinking away the tears that pricked her eyes.
"A-And promise y-you'll come and visit o-one day," Mira stuttered, wiping her hands across her face to brush away the tears. "P-Promise y-you'll come and s-see the baby once it's born, okay?"
And even though it was another promise that she didn't want to make, Lucy knew she had to. They were her friends, and if she couldn't make that promise, then they'd know something was wrong. She couldn't let them believe that, under any circumstances. So even though it was going to hurt her, she had to smile again with a slight nod and whisper, "I promise." But it was another promise that she didn't know when she'd able to make good on, because she didn't know when she'd be happy enough to come back.
She didn't know if and when she'd be able to feel nothing but happiness for her friends and family, and not jealousy, sadness, and pain. Because right then, that's all she felt.
So when Lucy finally turned away with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes that were brimming with tears, and the door finally closed, Laxus could only stare at the wood of it for so long as he held his crying mate against him. Mira didn't know that what she'd said had hit a nerve, and granted, Lucy had been doing a damn fine job of hiding it, but Laxus knew. Laxus knew what had happened.
"Mira, I've gotta go talk to Lucy for a minute, okay?" Laxus said softly, pulling away as his hands held her arms just below her shoulders. When she nodded, he quickly pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head and then quickly turned for the door.
Laxus looked around the near empty street, looking both ways as he tried to find the blonde that had just left. When he saw her slowly walking away and into the quickly setting sun, he quickly turned and headed in that direction, and his long legs made it incredibly easy, and soon, he was walking just beside her with his hands shoved in his pockets.
"Lucy," he said quietly, his hand suddenly catching her elbow as she looked up in shock, before he turned and led them down a quieter street. "Walk with me. I've gotta talk to you."
And Lucy obliged with a single nod, increasing her pace when she struggled to keep up with Laxus's own broad steps. Before long, they'd reached an empty park not too far from his house, and were sitting on a bench in silence.
"How are you holding up?" he asked suddenly, turning his head to look down at the blonde who was trying so hard to appear like she was okay. But Laxus knew she wasn't; he knew she was far from it, and he was worried.
Laxus had come to care for Lucy a lot in the last year, and just like Freed and Evergreen had, he'd accepted her as part of his weird little family that was growing more and more every single day. Once upon a time, it had just been the four of them: himself, Bickslow, Freed, and Evergreen. They were their own little family that were there for each other through everything. But over time, their family expanded. Evergreen soon had Elfman, Laxus had Mira, and then Bickslow had Lucy. For the first time, they'd let other people into their lives, and just like their family had grown, they as people had grown, too.
They'd become better people as they let others into their lives, and there wasn't a day that went by where any of them ever regretted the decisions they'd made to get them to that point, because without those new people that were so important to them, they wouldn't have been half as happy as they were.
And more than anything, Laxus was proud of Bickslow. He was proud of the man Bickslow had become, and Laxus had known the moron for so long that he was like a brother. He was his best friend, and although he wouldn't admit it to anyone, he loved seeing just how much Bickslow had changed once Lucy had become a part of his life. Laxus had watched Bickslow become the person that he'd truly wanted to be, and it had all been because of Lucy.
No one would ever understand just how much Lucy meant to Bickslow, nor how much Bickslow meant to Lucy, and no one was going to try and understand it either. All they needed to know was that the two cared for each other and that without a doubt, they always would. They were supposed to spend the rest of their lives together, and they were supposed to be happy. Because to everyone else in the guild, no matter how weird Bickslow and Lucy's relationship had seemed at first, they really were absolutely perfect for each other.
And it was precisely why it had come as a shock to everyone when they'd heard the Raijinshuu had left, and that Bickslow had left Lucy behind. No one outside of the Raijinshuu and Laxus knew exactly why Bickslow and Lucy had broken up so suddenly, but Laxus had seen Bickslow straight after he'd had to do it, when he'd gone to see the Raijinshuu off at the station. He'd seen just how much it had destroyed him to do it, and it was the first time in years he'd ever sat in a room with the Seith mage and he hadn't said a single word for a long time.
The decision to leave Lucy was one that Laxus knew had been one Bickslow hadn't taken lightly, and he really did know that if it Bickslow had had any other choice, he wouldn't have left. The man had made himself completely miserable just because he believed that it would make Lucy happy, and it was because he loved her.
"I've been better, that's for sure," Lucy mumbled with a small shrug, looking down to her hands in her lap. "I just… I just miss him so much, and I wish that things hadn't ended this way."
"I know you do, and you know that Bicks didn't want things to end up like this either," he replied. When he saw the first tear roll down her cheek, Laxus really, really wanted to go and find the son of a bitch and bring him back just so he could get Lucy to stop crying. But Laxus knew it would be a waste of time, and if anything, it would just make things worse, because Bickslow couldn't make Lucy happy anymore, not by being there, anyway.
He'd broken his own heart to get her to leave, and even though it was going to hurt Laxus to see someone he'd grown close to in the last year leave, he had to make sure she did. Because just before Bickslow and the rest of the Raijinshuu had finally left, he'd made Laxus promise that no matter what happened, he'd make sure that Lucy left Magnolia and never returned, because even though Bickslow was off on his grand adventure, he was still going to try and make her life as easy as it could possibly get, after everything that had happened. Bickslow knew that if she returned to Magnolia one day, then all of the pain and loss she'd suffered would come right back, and Bickslow never wanted that for her.
So Laxus would help. He knew enough about the situation to know that Lucy was going to be happier if she didn't return. So, after another long moment, Laxus looked back down to Lucy, and quietly, he said, "You know you can't come back to Magnolia after you leave, right?"
Lucy shook her head. It didn't matter if it was going to be painful, the fact remained that she'd promised. One day, she would come back, for her friends. "I promised I would. I promised Mira—"
"Lucy," he interrupted, his voice serious now. "I know what happened, and I know that it's going to be too hard to come back. I know that visiting Mira again when the kid's here will be too painful." And he really did know.
Laxus knew exactly what had happened to Lucy, and it was exactly why he was going to make sure Lucy didn't come back to Magnolia. He'd known about the baby, because Wendy had told him, and Gajeel, of course. But only because the two of them had quite literally had to stop the younger Dragon Slayer from going after Bickslow, surprisingly.
She'd come to ask Laxus where the Raijinshuu had disappeared to one day, just after they'd left, and as soon as she'd found out that they'd left town, and that Bickslow had left Lucy, Wendy had completely changed. She'd screamed and cried on the floor for a while, mostly about how she didn't understand why Bickslow could do that to Lucy, and how Lucy needed him. You can't leave someone after something like that happens.
And when Wendy had suddenly jumped up, shouting about how she needed to go and find Bickslow to find out just why Bickslow had left when he needed to be there for Lucy, instead of abandoning her and leaving her to deal with it all on her own, Laxus and Gajeel suddenly realised there had been something else going on. There was no way that the usually oh so strong girl would be in such a state over the unexpected break up. She knew something that no one else did.
So Laxus and Gajeel did their best to calm the young Dragon Slayer down, just so they could figure out what was going on. And, of course, it hadn't taken much to get it out of Wendy once they'd sat her down, and as soon as she'd blurted out what had happened with Lucy, Laxus and Gajeel found themselves wanting to go and get their stupid friend and beat some sense into him.
But Laxus couldn't do that, no matter how much he wanted to. He couldn't do that because it would be pointless, because if Bickslow had known Lucy had been pregnant and lost the baby, then he wouldn't have left. If he'd known, he would have stayed and grieved with Lucy, like Laxus and Gajeel had assumed she'd been doing for a long while. Like she still was.
"I… I don't know what you're talking about…" she mumbled, looking away suddenly.
"I know you lost the baby, and I'm guessing Bicks didn't know about any of it."
Lucy looked back suddenly, her eyes wide with shock and full of pain that she couldn't try and hide anymore. "How do you know about that?" she asked incredulously. Although she was panicked and worried about her secret getting out, she couldn't help but feel like part of that burden and the weight had been lifted off her shoulders, even if it was just a tiny bit.
Laxus shrugged. "Wendy got really upset when she heard Bicks had left. She didn't really mean to tell us, but we kind of had to stop her from going after the guy. She's young, but she's feisty," he said, the corner of his mouth lifting up into a small smirk.
"So… Who else knows?"
"Just me and Gajeel," he said softly. And then, after she nodded and looked back down to her hands with a frown, Laxus stood and held out his hand to her before pulling her to her feet gently. "Look, Lucy, you've gotta go. You've gotta leave this town and go live the life that he wants you to have."
"I know I do," she whispered, looking up into the unusually soft grey eyes.
"And you're not gonna come back, at least not until you're happy with the life you've created and you're sure that it's not going to hurt you to come back."
"I'm not going to come back," she repeated. She wouldn't come back to Magnolia, not for a long while, anyway. One day, though… One day, she hoped she'd be able to, because she'd want to be able to see the place she'd once called home, and what it had become.
Laxus flashed a small smile before he pulled her into a hug and rested his chin on the top of her head. "Damn straight, you're not," he said, and when the faintest of laughs resonated from the blonde, he smiled again.
Never had Lucy ever expected Laxus of all people to become someone who she saw as an almost older brother. They'd grown so close in the last year – in the last few months especially, just like she had with Evergreen and Freed. She'd been accepted into Bickslow's family with open arms, and in turn, she'd begun to see them as her own family.
And just like she'd always love Bickslow, she'd always love the rest of his team, just because they'd also become her family. Even though she'd probably never see any of them again, she'd always remember them, and no matter where they were in the world and what they were doing, Lucy would always be hoping that they, too, were living lives full of joy and happiness.
Especially Bickslow, though. Bickslow wanted her life to be full of happiness once again, and that's exactly what Lucy wanted for him.
And as Lucy finally pulled away from Laxus, wiping under her eyes with a sad smile, she looked back up to him, and quietly, she said, "Take care, Sparky."
But it was enough to have him smirk and roll his eyes, and as they both slowly turned and got ready to head in their separate directions, he called over his shoulder, "You too, Blondie." Not only did Lucy see Laxus as her sort of brother, but Laxus saw her as an adopted sister, and without a doubt, he was going to miss her, just like everyone was.
But she needed to move on. She needed to move on for herself, and for Bickslow.
So as Laxus headed home to console Mira, no doubt, Lucy slowly made her way towards Magnolia station. She looked at everything on her way there; every street name, every light post, every shrub, every bridge, every single building. She wanted to remember it all, because it was going to be the last time she saw any of it… At least for a while, anyway.
Lucy knew that by the time she made it back to Magnolia, everything would have changed again, and while she was away, she just wanted to remember the way it had been then. Her home would live on in her memories, and for a long while, all she'd have is her memories.
But then, she reached the station, and she knew that it was time. It was finally time to leave everything and everyone else behind, and go make a start on the life that Bickslow wanted her to have. She had to make the most of what Bickslow had given her, because after what he'd sacrificed, she owed him that.
And with a final look around the station, a sad smile crossed her lips, and then, she turned her back and boarded the train. She didn't even know where that train was taking her, but it didn't matter where, because as long as she got out of Magnolia, it would be a start.
She was finally taking that step into the beginning of the next chapter of her life, and even though more than anything, she'd wanted that chapter to be with Bickslow, she knew that just wasn't going to happen.
As the train finally began to pull away from the station, Lucy reached into her bag on the seat beside her and pulled out a book. It was the same book that Bickslow had given her before he left, and it was going to the book she'd cherish the most for the rest of her life.
And as Lucy finally tore her gaze away from the town that got further and further away through the window, she looked down to the book, and with a sigh, she opened it carefully and looked down to the words written on the first page in the same familiar scrawl.
I want you to get a happy ending like all the best stories have; I want you to get the happy ending you deserve.
I'll always love you, Lucy. Remember that.
Remember that I did all of this so you could have a chance at getting that happy ending.
-Bickslow
As the tears slowly fell and stained the pages, Lucy couldn't help but wonder as to whether or not she was really going to get her own happy ending in life. She knew she wasn't going to get the one she wanted, but she wasn't sure if she would get one at all. Even though she wanted to be happy again, one day, there was a nagging feeling inside of her that was telling her she wasn't going to get that. Not without Bickslow, anyway.
So maybe… Maybe Lucy's story wasn't going to have the happy ending that both she and Bickslow wanted for her.
Maybe she wasn't going to get a happy ending like all the best stories had, because truly, Lucy didn't know. All she knew at that point was that she'd have to wait and see where her story led her.
After all, she was only at the beginning of the next chapter. Anything could happen between now and the end.