One of the last things that Lucy expected to be doing on their trip to Crocus for Christmas was getting dragged to a bridal boutique under the pretence of having a girls' day out. Bickslow had already been dragged out for the day by his brothers-in-law and nephews earlier that morning, so that meant Sara and Saskia (and Layla, of course) had been free to do something with Lucy.
She hadn't had a clue just what their day had entailed when they'd left Saskia's house in the middle of the morning, though as soon as she'd found out just what they'd been planning, Lucy was sure she should have actually expected it just because they were Alderwoods and getting into mischief was what they were best at.
Lucy could only roll her eyes at the twins as they pushed her to sit on one of the white leather lounges in the small store. "Guys, I thought you said we were going out for lunch. This doesn't look like a restaurant," she said.
"We are going out for lunch," Sara answered.
"Just later," Saskia added with her smirk matching her sister's beside her. "There's no point in trying on dresses after lunch."
"There's no point in trying on dresses at all," Lucy insisted. She'd figured that was why they'd dragged her to a dress shop, but she had still hoped it was something else. For all she'd known, they could've been there so she could get an idea for her bridesmaid dresses – hell, she would've been okay with that. But trying on wedding dresses? That was not something she was completely okay with. It wasn't even something she'd thought about, to be perfectly honest.
"Sure there is! You don't want a dress straight from the rack, do you?"
"I had one," Sara chimed in. "But that was only because my engagement lasted all of two months so I didn't have much choice. I would've got one properly fitted and made for me if I'd had the time, though."
"But I have plenty of time to do that," Lucy pointed out. "At this point, the wedding is still eight months away. I can find a dress I like in a couple of months." There just wasn't any rush for her to do anything. It was still so far away.
But on the other hand… They were still planning to start trying to get pregnant once they were back in Magnolia, and on the off chance it happened quickly, they'd already agreed to change the date of the wedding accordingly, should they actually need to. Getting married wasn't quite as important as having a baby to them; they could get married whenever they wanted to.
But still, on the off chance their attempts at having a baby didn't take an eternity like she half expected it to do, and their August wedding plans didn't work anymore and they had to maybe move it forward, maybe, just maybe, trying on a few dresses wouldn't be the worst idea. She was really just counting on how the wedding was still set to be at the end of August for how little she'd actually started planning it. And undoubtedly, she wanted to completely love her dress and have it feel like it fit her perfectly. She didn't really want her dress to be one she'd had to quickly find and then worry about getting it tailored in time all because they'd decided to bring the wedding up. She just wanted to have it all organised and sorted out beforehand so she had nothing to stress about, baby or no baby and August wedding or not.
It was too soon to be deciding on a dress regardless, and Lucy especially didn't want to be buying one in Crocus. But at the very least, perhaps she could get an idea of what she wanted, because she really had no clue where to even begin when it came to anything to do with her wedding.
"But you still don't want to be leaving it all until the last minute…" Saskia said.
Lucy shrugged. "I suppose not." Maybe she could have some fun while she was there. She always liked going shopping for new clothes and being able to try them on, and trying on wedding dresses seemed like it could be pretty exciting. And really, Lucy doubted she'd be able to get out of what her future sisters-in-law had supposedly planned for her anyway, so she figured she might as well embrace it. Sighing then, she pushed herself up to stand and looked around the store. "We should probably go find the manager or something then, right? Since I'm guessing you already made me an appointment if we're here…"
The twins were almost jumping up and down with how excited they were – they apparently liked getting their way. "That sounds like a brilliant idea!" Sara beamed. She had to admit she'd been wondering where the manager had been hiding all that time, though, since they'd had that appointment since they'd known Lucy and Bickslow would be there for Christmas, so the store had known they'd be there. So as she went to go peek around a wall for the store owner, Sara couldn't help but giggle and tell Lucy just when it was they'd planned to take her to the boutique.
Lucy could only roll her eyes.
She ended up having a lot more fun than she expected to, though. Most of that fun came from watching Layla hide under the skirts on the few mannequins or even trying on a few herself even when they were really just a mountain of fabric on her. But Lucy had fun trying on the dresses. Knowing that she wasn't actually there to decide on one meant she could actually enjoy how horrible some of the dresses actually were on her. Most of them just made her feel like a misshapen marshmallow.
"You know, though," Saskia began as she took a sip of her orange juice in the champagne flute before setting it down. "I'm sure if you'd started planning your wedding, you'd at least be able to decide on what kind of dress would be best."
Lucy sighed. Again with the planning… They hadn't been able to go five minutes without bringing it up that day so far. "Well at this point it's still set to be in August so…"
"So it's basically an autumn wedding then."
"Looks like it…"
"Oh no," Sara whispered. "You don't sound so sure. You're not having second thoughts, are you?"
"Oh, god no!" Lucy quickly assured her, just to get a sigh of relief from the twins before she turned back around to face the mirror on the pedestal. The dress she had on then was actually one she really loved, even if it really didn't fit her all that well at all. It was fitted all the way down to the middle of her thighs with the lace three-quarter sleeves leaving her shoulders exposed, and with a simple sweetheart neckline. It was a style she would love to be married in, but…
She wasn't all that sure it would work, being so fitted. Getting pregnant would surely just make things difficult. Though really, things were already difficult enough, as she was quickly realising, since the entire baby thing was more important than getting married. She'd said that the dress could wait, but now Lucy could only start worrying about it a little, because she really did want a dress that fit her perfectly, and if they had to change the date of their wedding because she did miraculously get pregnant, what if her dress wasn't ready? She didn't like resorting to Plan B's, which would be having a back-up dress of some description.
She liked having one perfect plan and sticking to it.
She wanted one perfect dress.
But now Lucy was really just a little confused, because she didn't quite know what to do about the entire situation. She really didn't want to wait until it was closer to the wedding until they tried to have a baby, because she was still so worried that it would take a painfully long time for it to happen and she was far too impatient for that. But if she got pregnant, she had absolutely no idea when she'd get married at all. The fact that they didn't have a date set in stone yet was most definitely not because she was getting cold feet.
Still… Lucy didn't know if she could tell the twins that. They weren't telling anyone about the baby situation because they didn't think it was something that anyone else needed to know about. But the twins… They were family. And Lucy was sure Sara and Saskia would be just as excited as she was if they knew what was going on.
Lucy turned back around to face the twins on the lounge (Layla was still playing hide-and-seek with some of the dresses, apparently) and had to try and keep her excitement contained as she asked them, "Can you keep a secret?"
"Oh, definitely!" Sara answered.
"Of course," Saskia replied, patting the space on the lounge that they'd just made. "Now come, tell us this secret of yours!"
Lucy was bending to pick up the skirt of her dress just to hop down from the pedestal, and then was rushing – well, to the best of her ability considering she was in a wedding dress – over to the lounge and sitting herself down between the Alderwood twins. "Okay, but… You have to promise not to tell Bickslow any of this," she said first.
"It's not something bad, is it?"
Sara sighed in agreement with her sister. "I don't think I want to know if it's something bad…"
"I promise it's not bad," Lucy assured them. Well, I hope it isn't. She couldn't see how telling them just why they didn't have their wedding date completely set was a bad thing. "It's just not something Bicks and I are talking about much – not with other people, at least – and I don't really think he wants you knowing…"
Saskia flashed the famous Alderwood grin. "But you're going to tell us anyway because we're your sisters now and you love us."
"Um, yeah…" Lucy giggled. "Something like that." She was really just ridiculously excited about it all. But… The fact she did love her sisters-in-law was part of it.
"So…" Sara prompted.
"So…" Lucy began. "Bickslow and I… We haven't actually officially set a date for our wedding yet."
"Oh? But I thought you two were planning for August?"
Nodding as she set her juice down again, Saskia said, "Didn't you say a while ago that it was an anniversary for you in August?"
"Three years from our first date, yes," Lucy responded. She was almost a little surprised that Saskia had even remembered what they'd said the first time they'd visited. "And we're still aiming for August, but if it ends up being before then, or even after then, then we won't be worried."
"So… You're thinking of moving your wedding up?" Sara asked.
Lucy shrugged. "Maybe."
"But," Saskia added, "You're also thinking of pushing it back?"
Lucy shrugged again. "Maybe."
The twins only stared at each other across the blonde like they were suddenly communicating telepathically (which Bickslow insisted they could actually do, and had said multiple times that week alone), before they both turned their attention back to Lucy with matching looks of utter confusion. "Alright. Please explain," Saskia said.
"Because we really don't understand what's going on with your entire wedding date situation," Sara finished. It really just didn't make sense. Neither of them could see why Lucy and Bickslow wouldn't set an actual date. If Sara didn't know them both, she probably would've just assumed a disastrous end to their relationship was quickly approaching. But she did know both of them, and she knew that an end was nowhere in sight. But still, for the life of her, Sara couldn't figure out just why her brother and her future sister-in-law were being so indecisive when it came to setting an actual date. And she knew Saskia was just as confused.
But of course, Lucy was just about jumping out of her seat she was so excited. "Well, you see…" She had to stop herself from making vague hand gestures as she happily continued, "We haven't officially picked a date or anything because we're going to start trying for a baby when we get back to Magnolia…"
The squealing that ensued even had the store owner popping her head around a corner to see if anything was wrong (she worried about her prized dresses!), but when she realised she had no hope in hell of finding out just what the women were saying, she was just shaking her head and ducking into her workshop attached to the store again.
"A baby?!" Saskia shrieked. "Really?"
"Uh-huh…" Lucy could only giggle when she found herself squished between the two women – well, until she was being squeezed so tight she couldn't breathe. "Um… Ladies… I, uh… can't breathe."
"Oh, gosh, sorry!" Sara giggled. "We need you to breathe so you can give us adorable niblings!"
Lucy rolled her eyes. "That is not a real word!"
"It is in this family."
"You're all insane. The lot of you."
"Oh, but honey, you're marrying into this insanity, remember?" Sara pointed out.
"I suppose I am," Lucy giggled again. Really, it wasn't like she could forget, but it wasn't like she wanted to forget either. She was more than glad to be marrying into the insanity that was the Alderwood clan, even if she was still just a little amazed that their insanity seemed to know no bounds.
"But anyway." Saskia on Lucy's other side patted her knee to get her attention again. "You and Pixie are going to have a baby?"
Lucy nodded. "That's the plan."
"So that's why you haven't got a date set. Because you're waiting to see when you get pregnant?"
"Pretty much." Lucy looked down to her lap and lifted her shoulder in half a shrug before continuing, "Though I'm sure it will still end up being in August anyway."
"Why do you say that?" Sara asked.
"Well, it's not like it'll happen right away…" she mumbled. Lucy looked back to Layla to make sure she was still preoccupied before she quietly added, "And we've never been all that careful or anything, even before we broke up, so I doubt we'll be lucky anytime soon…"
"Honey, don't worry about it," Saskia said gently. "These kinds of things happen when you least expect them to."
Sara nodded. "It's true, you know."
"I know it is," Lucy sighed. "It's just…"
Two things were occurring to Lucy right then as she trailed off and began nibbling on her bottom lip. One was that a bridal boutique was probably not the best place to be having that kind of conversation. And two was that she was suddenly thinking about bringing up the baby she'd lost before.
She didn't talk about that, though, so Lucy thought it was just a little strange that she was actually wanting to. It wasn't like she was still completely miserable about it happening, because she wasn't – and neither was Bickslow, which was a really good thing. He was still a little sad about it, she guessed, but that wasn't the end of the world. Still though, the entire thing wasn't something Lucy had ever really found herself wanting to talk to anyone about, even if she was reasonably okay with it all and even when there had always been a few other people who'd known about it.
Sara and Saskia though… They were her family, which was why she was even telling them about planning to have a baby in the first place. And it wasn't like Lucy wanted to really have an entire conversation about miscarrying, because she didn't. She could at least mention it though, because it was relevant. It was part of why she was so worried she wouldn't actually be able to give Bickslow what he wanted most in the world at that point.
And it really wasn't like Lucy could completely forget that it had ever happened at all. Aside from it being impossible, she knew that the best thing for her was to remember it. And not in the way that she would actually mourn every day for the next thirty years; but in the way that she just acknowledged it happening at all. She'd been pregnant, and then she hadn't been. The world hadn't ended, and she was okay with that. She'd moved on.
But moving on still didn't stop her from worrying, and worrying was never good when you had no one else to talk to. She always had Bickslow, sure, but right then, Lucy really just wanted to talk to Sara and Saskia about it. Because it was relevant.
And the fact that she was in a wedding dress that didn't fit her in the middle of dress shop didn't bother her so much anymore.
"It's just I'm a little worried that I might not be able to get pregnant again," Lucy finally whispered as she shrugged again.
"Again?" Saskia repeated. "You mean, you and Bicks…?"
She nodded. "I got pregnant a few months before we broke up, and then miscarried right before we did," she said quietly. "But… But that's not why we broke up, in case you thought it was," Lucy quickly added on. They'd never really mentioned just why they'd broken up, but the last thing Lucy wanted was Bickslow's sisters thinking that he was kind of a terrible person. Because he wasn't. "Bickslow didn't even know about it then. I didn't tell him until just before we got back together this year. It was just… It was a difficult time back then and there was a lot going on, that's all…"
Neither of the sisters doubted that it had been a difficult time for Lucy and Bickslow when they'd broken up, though now they only thought that Lucy had been worse off. Sara especially knew that it wasn't exactly the easiest thing to deal with, but even then, she hadn't had to cope all by herself. She'd had Rory to make things easier, but Lucy hadn't had Bickslow. And in a way, Sara almost admired Lucy. She didn't really get why Lucy hadn't told Bickslow about the baby, but that wasn't really all that important anymore. What did happen to be important right then was that they eased her worry, and Sara knew they could do that.
"Lucy, I'm sure you've got absolutely nothing to worry about," Sara said. "Those kinds of things just happen sometimes. It doesn't mean anything is wrong."
"I know that… But still…"
"I still had the twins, and look how great they are!" Sara added, though admittedly, she was already questioning her choice of words. Her boys really weren't anything close to being poster children – they were goddamn nightmares putting it lightly – but to her, they were still perfect (especially when they were asleep) and they were really her energetic little blessings.
Lucy couldn't help but look up to Sara in surprise. "Wait, are you saying that you—"
Sara nodded. "Twice, actually. So I know how you're feeling, I really do."
"Oh… Well, I'm… I'm sorry," Lucy mumbled. Though as sorry as she was for Sara, just because it sucked and Lucy really knew that all too well, Lucy was just weirdly glad that Sara actually knew how she felt. No one she knew had understood how it had made her feel – not even Bickslow had been able to do that. Lucy just didn't feel quite so alone all of a sudden, especially with Mira and Laxus having Jax, and with Levy and Gajeel getting closer to having their little one with each passing day.
"Oh, honey. There's no need to be sorry. It happens. There's nothing we can do about it. But I know how hard it is to keep your head up, especially when it feels like you're suddenly the only one who isn't knocked up. God, you have no idea how much I hated Sas when she found out about Layls."
"It's true," Saskia chimed in from the other side. "She really hated me. Completely ignored me for two whole months."
Lucy couldn't help but giggle.
"I think Bicks mentioned something about you both being godparents now the other day?" Sara asked.
Lucy nodded. "His name is Jackson. Well, Jax, actually. He's, uh, about five months old now. Laxus and Mira don't really bring him into the guild much though, so we don't really see him very often…"
"And… And he said something about friends of yours having a baby soon as well?"
"She's due around the middle of the year I think."
"That must be at least a little difficult," Saskia said softly.
Lucy shrugged as she stared down to her hands. "Honestly, it's not that hard. I mean, Levy's my best friend and I'm ridiculously happy for her. And… And Jax is really adorable…" she began cautiously. Lucy briefly wondered if she should tell them about how Bickslow was taking everything, but it was only briefly because Lucy was just enjoying being able to talk to someone about how she felt – and with people who understood her, too. And even if Bickslow didn't want his sisters to know how hard he'd been finding things, there was nothing saying he had to know that she'd told his sisters. Lucy was sure the twins could keep a secret. And even then, Lucy had already said far more than she should've, so what did it matter if she opened her mouth a little more? Talking was no doubt good for her, too. So with a deep breath, Lucy continued, "But Bickslow… He's not exactly the biggest fan of it all. I mean, he's happy because they're our friends, but because I couldn't tell him about the baby until we really got back together, he's still, um… He's still kind of dealing with it all, I guess. It's been hard for him…"
"Aw, the poor thing," Sara murmured. "How's it been?"
"I don't know," Lucy sighed. "It hasn't been horrible though. Bicks has just… He's been kind of sad, you know? Partly because he still feels bad that he wasn't there for me, but it wasn't like that was his fault because I didn't tell him and us breaking up was really for the best… But it's also partly because he just really, really wants a baby…"
"No kidding!" Saskia gasped.
"Not even a little bit. He still can't help but bring it up every now and then even though he knows we agreed not to talk about the entire kids thing because it's kind of an uncomfortable topic. And I mean, I know he doesn't mean to make me feel bad for miscarrying and all, but… It kind of hurts, you know?"
Saskia shook her head as she sighed. "Men. Completely useless."
"He's not completely useless," Lucy giggled. Just… a little. Sometimes. Because Bickslow was a guy.
"Gosh, all I can picture right now is Bickslow as a baby!" Sara chimed in.
"But now he's all grown up!" Saskia added. "And he so totally has baby fever."
"Oh, for sure. God, it's so adorable!"
"I'm beginning to see why Bicks said he didn't want you knowing about the whole baby thing…" Lucy mumbled. She remembered him saying something about how he was sure they wouldn't leave him alone if they knew, and now Lucy got what he meant. They'd just latched onto that idea and now Lucy was sure they would never let go.
"Oh, that's right," Saskia laughed. "We're not supposed to know any of this at all!"
Sara nodded and was then turning her attention back to Lucy with a softer smile. "But Lucy, I'm positive you have absolutely nothing to worry about," she said. "You and Bicks will have a baby one day. Just don't get discouraged, okay? It'll happen."
"And, you know, it probably won't happen when you expect it, either," Saskia added just as gently. "That's part of what makes it so exciting! But it'll happen one way or another. We know it will."
Lucy nodded and felt herself sigh in relief. "I guess you're right." It'll happen one day. She and Bickslow would have their own family at some point. She knew that. And Lucy knew that she really did just have to not give up like she was already tempted to do and she hadn't even started anything yet. Things would work out in the end. And oh, was she so glad to have actually gotten everything out. Already Lucy felt a little better. "And Sara, Saskia – thank you for this. I really mean it."
"For what?"
"For listening, mostly. I just… I think I really needed this, and I needed to hear all of what you both said, so… So I'm grateful for it all." She gestured around to the room and to all the dresses on the walls and mannequins as she added, "And even for bringing me here this morning. This has been amazing."
"Aw, Lucy, there's no need to thank us," Sara said. "We're family now, remember? This is just what we do."
"Well, I still want to thank you regardless."
Saskia rolled her eyes as she got up from the sofa so she could go and finally find where her daughter had disappeared to. "Then in that case, you're welcome," she smirked. "But for now, how about we go get that lunch we promised you?"
"That sounds like a wonderful idea."
The two sets of footsteps coming from the hall had Lucy jolting awake. The bedside lamp was still on and the book she'd been reading before she'd decided to close her eyes for just a few minutes was still open beside her. She knew she'd ended up closing her eyes for more than just a few minutes, though even having just woken up Lucy was almost struggling to keep her eyes open, but she had no idea just how long she'd been asleep for. Lucy knew it was late though, because the house was almost completely silent, just like it had been when she'd apparently dozed off.
She knew the footsteps in the hall were just Xander and Bickslow finally getting back, so she wasn't surprised to see Bickslow walking in through the bedroom door just a few moments later.
Bickslow only frowned when he saw that Lucy was just waking up though, so he was only closing the door behind him as softly as he could before heading to the dresser to grab something to sleep in. "Sorry, baby," he whispered. "I didn't wake you, did I?"
Lucy shook her head. "Not really. I wanted to stay up to see you. I just must've dozed off before," she said softly. After getting back from lunch after trying on dresses, she'd only been able to talk to Bickslow for all of maybe ten minutes before he'd been whisked off by his brothers-in-law for the second time in one day. Lucy knew she shouldn't have cared all that much about her fiancé being gone for almost the entire day, just because it was their last day in Crocus and Bickslow was better off spending his time with his family than her while he still could, but she'd just missed him. She couldn't help that. And granted, it meant she'd been able to spend the rest of the afternoon with Bickslow's sisters as well as all of their children which had been all kinds of fun, but she still wished just a little bit that Bickslow had been there too. She had more fun watching Bickslow with his niece and nephews than actually playing with them herself. But still, she'd wanted to stay up to wait for Bickslow to get back, just so she could hear all about his adventures for that day, and it made being awake right then totally worth it, because she suspected Bickslow and his brothers-in-law had been getting into at least a little bit of mischief. "What time is it anyway?"
"Almost one I think."
"Wow. You boys must have had fun then."
"I guess so," Bickslow chuckled. Changed for bed, he quickly climbed in and made himself comfortable next to Lucy after leaning forward to just to gently press his lips to hers. "You shouldn't have waited up for me though."
"Yeah, I know… But I wanted to. We haven't really seen each other today and I didn't want to wait until morning to talk to you," she whispered.
Bickslow sighed as he wrapped his arm around Lucy to pull her in against him. "I know we haven't. I'm sorry, baby."
"Hey, don't be sorry. We came here so you could spend time with your family. That means you're not allowed to be sorry for spending the day with them."
"I suppose so…" Bickslow mumbled. "But, it really would've been nice being able to see you for more than like ten minutes before they dragged me off again. It's the holidays after all…" Surely he wasn't a bad guy for wanting to spend his holidays with his entire family, which did of course include Lucy.
Lucy only laughed gently before tilting her head up to quickly kiss Bickslow again. "Now that I agree with. But come on, tell me about your day. Just what did you get up to with the guys today?"
"Ah, well. This morning we went to the park for a little while," he said as he settled himself comfortably again. "Jasper fell off the swings."
"Oh, so that explains the bandage on his forehead," Lucy guessed.
Bickslow shook his head with a smirk on his mouth. "That was because Damian threw a rock at him."
Lucy could only roll her eyes. Boys. She'd be perfectly fine with all her children being girls.
"After that it was to the emergency room so Jasper could get his head fixed and all. Thankfully he didn't need stitches or anything," Bickslow continued. "Then, once Jasper was sorted, we had to go and get ice-cream, even though it was only eleven in the morning. Then there was this like, concert on near um… What's the name of that stupid castle?"
"Mercurius."
"That's the one! So anyway, there was this concert thing near there that we took the kids to. I still don't even really know just what it was, but there was one chick in a giant fucking sunflower costume, a dude dressed as a crayon, and a magician that was literally wearing a fucking penguin suit."
"Sounds a little interesting," she giggled.
"I still have a headache from the hours' worth of screaming children and babies I had to endure," the Seith mage muttered bitterly. Really, for most of that hour he'd only found himself wondering just why the fuck he actually wanted kids. Because kids scream and Bickslow just didn't do screaming – or at least not that kind of screaming at least.
"Aw, my poor Pixie." Lucy knew that Bickslow wasn't really as annoyed as he made himself seem. He probably was hating the fact he had a headache at all because she'd been with him long enough to know that he usually wanted to do nothing but sleep when he had even the tiniest of headaches. But aside from being weirdly proud that he'd put up with it all day just so he could get to spend time with his family, Lucy knew that Bickslow probably thought his pain was worth it, too. "What about this afternoon though?" she asked. "Where did Xander and Rory drag you off to in a rush earlier?"
"Ah, well…" He couldn't do anything about the smirk that tugged at the corner of his mouth. "This afternoon was just them trying to cram as much knowledge about parenting and all that into my head." Most of what Rory and Xander had told him over the course of the rest of the afternoon and the entire night had gone in one ear and out the other, but some of it he'd actually retained, though that was mostly just because they'd made a point of repeating it every five minutes – like, don't piss off your wife when she's carrying your child. Bickslow had lost count of how many times he'd heard that over the night.
But still, Bickslow had never expected his afternoon to go the way it had. But from what he'd later found out, he knew that Rory and Xander dragging him out to almost every single store in Crocus that sold anything even remotely associated with babies and children just to tell him about all the wonderfully expensive things he absolutely needed to buy at some point in the future, hadn't exactly been planned. The entire trip had been rather impulsive, but once Bickslow had found out the reason for his impromptu parenting masterclass, it had all made perfect sense.
And since Bickslow was completely certain that Lucy had absolutely no clue about what had happened that afternoon, he couldn't help but find how confused she was about just what it was he'd meant completely adorable.
But then it clicked, and all the colour seemed to instantly drain from her face. There was only one reason Bickslow's family would be deciding to suddenly want to give him parenting tips. "Oh no…" she whispered. "You know that I…"
"That you told my sisters about the entire baby thing?" he finished for her. "Yeah. I know."
Lucy grimaced and tried her best to hide her face in her pillow. She'd felt really great after telling Sara and Saskia about everything from her miscarriage to trying to have a baby in the next year. But even being really glad that she had told them, Lucy had still been just a little worried about whether or not it had actually been the right thing to do, because she knew how Bickslow hadn't wanted them to know and just why he hadn't wanted them to, yet she'd still gone and opened her mouth anyway.
She'd thought it would be okay, though. She'd just thought and hoped that Sara and Saskia would keep it between them like she'd asked them to promise to do. She'd just assumed that their word would be enough.
But apparently not. Because somehow Bickslow had found out that she'd opened her big mouth anyway – which Lucy was realising right then that she shouldn't have done at all, regardless of how relieved it had made her, because it was hers and Bickslow's thing and no one else's – and now she was feeling utterly horrible. Lucy didn't have a clue as to just how Bickslow had found out, or just how much he knew, but she had a feeling that it was somehow connected to how Sara had gone off to run some errands just after Bickslow had been dragged off again.
"God, Bicks… I'm so sorry," she groaned into the pillow. "I know you didn't want them knowing yet that we wanted to have a baby or anything… But they just… They just kept asking about the wedding and I didn't really know how to answer without telling them about it. And then I just… I really wanted to tell them and I really am sorry, Bickslow."
"Lucy, it's fine."
"Are you mad at me? Please don't be mad at me."
Mad at her? Bickslow couldn't figure out for the life of him just why he'd be mad at Lucy for talking to his sisters. "I'm not mad at you. Why on earth would I be mad at you?"
"Well, because… Because I told them how excited you are for us to have a family," Lucy answered guiltily. Regardless of how much Bickslow had already found out about how much of a horrible fiancée she'd been that day, Lucy figured it was for the best that she at least owned up to just what she'd done and said. She hoped it would make Bickslow be just a little less disappointed in her.
"Mm-hmm. I know you did."
"And I told them how I lost the baby before… And that you're still kind of upset by it…"
"Yup."
Lucy's brow creased a little as she stared at the Seith mage with growing confusion. She was sure she was missing something. "I, um… I told them about Jax and how you were with him, too," she continued. "And how you're a little jealous of Levy of Gajeel as well…"
"I know." There really wasn't much he didn't know at that point. What Rory and Xander hadn't told him after they'd kidnapped him earlier in the afternoon, Bickslow had found out from Sara after they'd miraculously run into her on their way from one store to the next. She'd claimed to be checking on their fancy little snow globe store, but even not knowing his way around Crocus so well that he could do it with his eyes closed, Bickslow had known that his sister had been lying. She'd never been particularly good at acting. How their parents had ever believed them, Bickslow had no idea.
But Bickslow's lack of reaction was confusing Lucy more than she cared to admit. He should be mad at her! He should be telling her that he was hurt by what she'd done, or maybe just straight up ignoring her. That was what she'd be doing if Bickslow had gone and done something she'd specifically asked he not do. At the very least she wouldn't be acting like she was perfectly fine. So for the life of her, she just couldn't see why Bickslow was doing just that.
"You… You shouldn't be like this…" she whispered as her brow furrowed even more. "Why aren't you mad at me? You should be mad at me! What am I missing here?"
Bickslow shrugged before answering simply with a small smile, "You're not missing a thing. I'm not mad at you."
"But you should be…"
"But I'm not."
She frowned back at him. She was completely certain she was missing something, no matter what Bickslow said. "Why aren't you mad at me?"
"Because I'm just happy that you actually felt like you could tell Sara and Sas about the baby and everything," he answered. And sure, Bickslow would admit that he did wish just a tiny bit that Lucy hadn't talked to his sisters about the entire situation, just because he wouldn't have had to spend the entire afternoon looking at baby things he wouldn't be buying for at least a little while, or listen to Rory and Xander give him a million tips on what to do and not do when it came to being a dad and all that (although the fact they'd ended up at a bar eating greasy bar food and unfortunately not getting drunk had made it just a little more bearable). But other than that, he was oddly ecstatic that Lucy had talked to his sisters about the whole baby situation. He'd endure whatever his sisters (and brothers-in-law) wanted to inflict on him just because of how much he loved what Lucy had done.
"You're… happy about it?" Lucy whispered, unable to do anything but stare at the Seith mage in astonishment.
Bickslow nodded. "I know you don't like bringing up how you lost the baby before. And, you know, that's fine and all. You know I don't mind that you don't like talking about it because I know how it still makes you a little upset when I bring it up and you know that upsetting you is the last thing I ever want to do…"
"I know that…"
"But you talked to them about it, and you have no idea how unbelievably happy that makes me," he said with a quick press of his lips to hers when she still just looked at him with wide and confused eyes. "All I wanted was for you to feel like you could go to them, because they're your family now and you should be able to talk to them about… About anything, really. And they all really love you, by the way. I'm almost convinced my sisters like you more than they do me."
"I'm sure that's not true," she laughed weakly.
"Well, it's gotta be close," Bickslow chuckled. "But I'm just… I'm happy that you told them. And I'm kinda proud, too, because you haven't really talked much about it at all with anyone else, and, you know, I think it's a good thing that you told someone else." He knew that Lucy had talked to Laxus a little bit about the whole thing, and that Levy and Gajeel had known for a while too, but even Laxus didn't really know much more than the fact that it had happened. And Bickslow had really been fine with Lucy deciding that she didn't want to talk about it anymore, and he still didn't think the entire miscarriage situation was something that she should be openly talking about or anything, but he still liked that she'd been comfortable enough with his sisters to tell them about it. Because talking was supposed to be good for dealing with difficult things like that, and he didn't want Lucy feeling like she couldn't talk to anyone about anything ever again.
He'd just wanted her to know that there were always people to talk to if she ever wanted to. And just knowing that his sisters were some of those people to her meant the absolute world to him.
He was just glad that Lucy was at a point where she could talk about it, too. He really did think it was a good thing.
"W-Well… I actually felt a little relieved, I guess, after telling them…" she admitted quietly.
"Sara said she thought you looked like you'd had a bit of a load taken off you," Bickslow said. And Lucy feeling relieved made sense to him, too. He knew how worried she was about maybe not getting pregnant again. But with what Sara had told him about their talk (which was basically everything, including how she and Rory had had their own trouble starting their family), Bickslow couldn't be more grateful for his sisters right then – especially for Sara. They'd helped Lucy where he hadn't been able to and eased her worries in a way he didn't think he'd ever have been able to.
Lucy couldn't help but roll her eyes. So Sara really did disappear to go talk to Bicks… somehow… somewhere. But strangely, Lucy wasn't all that interested in knowing just how Sara had managed to find Bickslow to tell him seemingly everything (she just assumed Rory had told her where they'd be taking Bickslow). All Lucy wanted to know was if Bickslow truly meant it when he said he wasn't mad at her.
So she asked just that when she worried she might end up making her lip bleed if she chewed on it any more. "So are you really not mad at me for telling them so much?" she asked nervously.
"Not at all."
"Not even a little bit?" Because she'd take Bickslow being even just a little mad at her. She deserved that.
Bickslow just smiled at her as he brought his hand up to cup her cheek. "I absolutely, positively promise that I'm not even the slightest bit mad at you, and I know how much you love promises," he assured her softly, and was then pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. He was incapable of being mad at Lucy for absolutely anything at that point in his life, and he was enjoying the hell out of it while it lasted.
But if Bickslow promised, then Lucy just had to believe him.
So when Lucy just hummed and cuddled up to him to get ready to sleep, Bickslow only had two of the babies fly over to the lamp behind her to silently switch off the light for them. He could just close his eyes and finally go to sleep like Lucy was, but he wasn't quite ready to. Just for a little bit longer he wanted to stay awake to talk with Lucy, just because it felt so strange to have been so busy that all he'd been able to do that day was have breakfast with her, not including the ten or so minutes they'd both been back at Saskia's between their outings.
It was just a matter of deciding what to talk about then, but Bickslow was quickly realising that mentioning he happened to walk past the bridal store that Lucy had been dragged to that morning and seen her trying on wedding dresses didn't seem like a good idea. He'd even had his four-year-old nephews drag him away from the window, he'd been standing there for so long with an apparently stupid grin on his face (according to Xander, anyway). It was just a good thing he hadn't managed to get ice-cream on himself in his slight daze…
But since it was their last night in Crocus and their little trip was coming to another pleasant end, Bickslow knew exactly what to talk about before Lucy managed to fall asleep on him.
"So are you ready to go home tomorrow?" he asked her softly.
Lucy didn't even bother opening her eyes as she first let out a tired sigh. "You know what? As glad as I am that I agreed to spending Christmas here with your family, I'm so looking forward to getting home and seeing the guild." It had really only been a week, but she missed everyone. It had still been her first holiday away from the guild since joining (well, the previous year she wasn't counting since the guild had disbanded) and it had just felt a little strange to be away from everyone, despite how much she'd enjoyed being in Crocus that time around. She was so excited about being able to finally give her team and everyone else the presents she'd gotten for them, too. Even Bickslow still had presents to give, but they'd made everyone promise to wait until they got back so they could have them all over for a slightly delayed (and also second) Christmas party. Of course, having their teams in the one living room was probably going to be slightly disastrous, but they figured they should probably start trying to find a way to actually start getting along with each other.
Or, maybe just Natsu and Laxus. And Erza too, probably.
"Mm, me too," Bickslow murmured. "You still have two more presents to get when we're home, too." And oh, was he excited to finally give her those. He was still just a little worried about the house, but he just kept telling himself that Lucy would love it like he'd thought and hoped she would.
"Two more? Really? God, Bicks… You've already spoiled enough. I can't even imagine just what else there is."
"Ah, perfect."
"But speaking of gifts…" Lucy opened her eyes again as a smirk pulled at the corner of her mouth, and she looked to the Seith mage in the almost pitch black room. "I still have another one for you."
"Oh? Is that so?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Does this gift happen to be red?" he asked. "And perhaps just a little bit… lacy?" Bickslow already knew exactly what his so called present was, because he'd only been working on convincing Lucy to actually go through with it all for months at that point. He was really looking forward to it, too, because really, what was there not to love about seeing his fiancée in fancy lingerie that she'd just happened to be wearing in an awful magazine shoot?
But of course, Bickslow was well aware of the fact that Lucy had packed said fancy red lingerie for their trip since it was supposed to have been an actual Christmas present… But then the whole sister-in-the-next room thing had turned out to be an epic mood killer.
"You know perfectly well that it is," she giggled quietly before she continued just a tiny bit nervously, "But, you'll still have to wait another few days at least for that particular present…"
"Oh, come on," he groaned. "Really?" The world was out to get him apparently.
"Sorry," she said half-heartedly.
"Okay, but, you know I don't care though, right? And… And I heard it can feel better then anyway! Well, for you, I mean. Because… Well, I don't know why, really, but still!"
Lucy grimaced. "Bickslow, the answer is still no." She didn't think her answer would be changing anytime soon, if at all. There was just nothing appealing about sleeping with the guy while she was on her period, no matter how many time Bickslow told her that he really didn't care.
"I don't see what the big deal is," he continued. Was he that desperate to get laid? Possibly. But he still didn't really care much about it. "We could just like, I don't know… Put a towel down or something. And use a condom, too."
"I can count on one hand the amount of times you've used a condom in all the time we've been together."
"Yeah… Please don't remind me of how ridiculously stupid we are. But there's the shower, too. Shower sex is fun."
Lucy only rolled her eyes as she pulled herself away from the Seith mage just to turn her back to him and get comfortable to finally go to sleep. She really wasn't going to be having that conversation for a second longer. "Bickslow, I'm not having sex with you while I'm bleeding from my vagina."
Well, when you put it that way. "…You always did have a way with words…" he mumbled, and then conceding his defeat (again), he was only leaning forward to kiss her cheek and finally saying goodnight.
"I swear to god, if this is one of your pranks, I will marry you just to divorce you," Lucy threatened half-heartedly as she continued to let a Seith mage guide her through Magnolia while wearing a blindfold.
They'd only been back in Magnolia for all of an hour after getting back from Crocus before Bickslow had been telling her that they needed to make a little detour before they made their way over to the guild for the New Year's Eve celebration. An hour had really been just enough time to relax for a little bit before showering and getting something to eat, but that had just been because they'd ended up leaving Crocus far later than they should've – mostly just because Sara and Saskia had finally gotten a chance to get to Bickslow and they'd really needed to tease him and gush about how cute he'd been when he'd been little (in which every single one of his baby photos had been brought out, which had been great for Lucy), and how excited they were that their baby brother (by technically all of four years) was all about having his own spawn.
But still, being led blindly through a town at night was really not what Lucy had expected when Bickslow had said they needed to take a detour. She trusted the guy with her life, but that guy also happened to have a fondness for jokes and pranks.
"I promise you that this isn't a prank," Bickslow chuckled.
"Then what?" she asked. She doubted Bickslow would tell her anyway, but she still had to ask. She was almost dying to know what was going on, and when they came to a stop just a moment later and she felt Bickslow spin her to the left, her curiosity grew even more. "Are you going to let me see now?"
"As a matter of fact, I am," he replied, and carefully, Bickslow was untying the folded strip of fabric and pulling it away from Lucy's eyes and tucking it into his pocket.
Finally being able to see where they were, Lucy only found herself even more confused and curious about what was going on. She looked around at the street they were standing on first in an attempt to try and figure it out on her own.
She recognised the street they were on, even with most of the formerly damaged buildings in that area having finished being repaired and remodelled already. But recognising it wasn't enough to make Lucy know why Bickslow was grinning at her expectantly and in waiting. So she looked to the buildings themselves next, and the first one she looked to was the one they were standing right in front of; with the small, empty flower beds in front of the narrow basement windows at the very front and on either side of the stairs up to the front door. But the simple brick home with the too inviting front steps didn't make sense to Lucy either, just like all the other buildings around her on that familiar street.
She just couldn't for the life of her figure out why Bickslow had brought her to that particular spot.
She folded her arms around herself when the wind picked up and bit through her coat as she finally turned to Bickslow for an answer. "Are you going to explain why we're here now?"
It was tempting, but Bickslow was going to make her wait just a little bit longer. That was all just part of the surprise. "Not yet," he replied with an all too wicked grin, and was then just fishing a small set of keys out of another pocket and heading towards the front steps of the unfinished house that he still really hoped Lucy would love. "But what I will say," Bickslow continued as he turned back to Lucy before opening up the door. "Is that those other Christmas presents I promised you happen to be inside."
"W-Wait, really?"
Sort of. "Yup." Finally pulling the door open, Bickslow let Lucy go in before him to the dark entryway, and then the babies were going around to the rooms on either side of them to turn on the lights that were still working just so they weren't in complete darkness. He was just so nervous and excited right then that he was sure his hands were almost shaking, but he wasn't quite ready to blurt out he'd bought his girlfriend a house for Christmas.
Lucy only peeked into the rooms on either side of the entryway before looking back to Bickslow with a still slightly confused smile. How an empty and slightly dilapidated house had anything to do with Christmas presents at all, she didn't quite know. "So? How exactly are my supposed Christmas presents inside here?" she wondered.
"Ah. Well, the first one is kind of inside since I had it with me," Bickslow admitted, and was then reaching into the inside pocket of his cloak to pull out the neatly wrapped present that had fit snugly inside it. He was nervous just watching Lucy open that one and it wasn't even that bad, but even as nervous as he was, he was still mostly excited. And if it was one thing Bickslow had come to hate, it was just how Lucy opened her presents – far too carefully and with more precision than necessary. "Oh, come on. It's just paper. Rip it already," he laughed impatiently.
Lucy rolled her eyes at him as she finished tearing the paper as carefully as she could, just because it was far too entertaining to watch Bickslow get impatient and squirm. "Oh, shush, you." Lucy already knew it was a book just from the way it had sat in her hands, but when she'd finished peeling the festive purple wrapping paper from it, she hadn't exactly expected to see the light blue cover with the cartoon baby rattle on the front of it.
Bickslow was already jumping into an explanation as soon as she'd even seen what it was and saving her from asking. "It's a baby name book," he said first. "And I just thought that, you know, since you said you wanted to start trying after, that it could be nice to have."
Lucy was already sure that the book of baby names was her absolute favourite of all her presents from Bickslow that year, or maybe even ever. She could even see why Bickslow had waited until they were back to give that one to her, because opening that one in front of the entire family might have been just a little chaotic. Just the two of them made it a much more wonderful and personal gift. "Bickslow, this is great," she whispered. "I think it'll be more than nice to have."
"I mean, it's not like you'd have to start reading it right away or even anytime soon or anything," Bickslow continued nervously. Because he had to make sure that Lucy knew that she didn't need to even touch it until she wanted it. It could sit on a shelf for the next decade for all he cared, to be perfectly honest. He just thought it would be nice to have there in case she wanted to use it. "But eventually it could come in handy, right? And I just… I know that when we do have a kid one day, that you'll want to make sure they have the perfect name."
She rose up to stand on her tip-toes as she tucked the book in against her chest with one arm, and was pressing her lips softly to Bickslow's to stop him from trying to make her love the book more than she already did. "This is perfect, really. I love it, Bicks."
"Well, I'm… I'm glad you like it."
"Now, what about this other present you promised me?"
"Um, well… First, can you promise not to freak out or get mad or anything?"
Lucy had to admit she was just a little worried about why Bickslow was asking her to promise that, and she suspected that the second gift was going to be more than a little odd because there was a strange air of uncertainty around Bickslow, but at the very least, Lucy would try her best to stay calm. "Of course. I promise."
Bickslow was having to take a deep breath to calm his nerves, and was only shrugging and lifting his arms to vaguely gesture to the room they were in as he smiled hopefully and finally said, "Well, you're kind of standing in it."
"Standing in it? What do you mean?"
"I mean that this place… This house…" He could already see how Lucy was suddenly understanding him as she stared up at him in complete shock, and all he could do was shrug again. "It's yours."
But surely he had to actually mean something else by that. Maybe he just meant that there was something inside the house that was hers (because he had said that her presents were inside, after all), and he didn't actually mean the house itself. "You don't mean… You didn't…"
"I didn't buy you a house?" Bickslow grimaced. He really didn't think he'd ever been so anxious before. "Yeah, I bought you a house."
"You did not."
"Well, I mean… It's not yours yours, because it's legally in my name and all, but it's… It's ours, maybe. So, it's yours."
Lucy really wasn't sure how to feel right then. Part of her wanted to just pull a Levy and hit Bickslow repeatedly with the book of baby names for being so ridiculously stupid – who the hell in their right mind buys a house as a Christmas present? And even then, who the hell buys a house without telling their partner about it? Bickslow was obviously just out of his goddamn mind.
But… There was a much larger part of her (one that Lucy admittedly hated just a little bit right then) that only wanted to scream and squeal and jump around, because he'd bought her a goddamn house and she was feeling pretty special right then. And the longer she just stared at Bickslow and watched as he grew more and more anxious and uncomfortable as she processed it, the wider her smile grew, and soon she was giggling just a little hysterically. "You actually bought a house… Holy crap." She suddenly felt like she was in a bit of a daze as she turned away from Bickslow just to begin exploring.
Bickslow couldn't tell what was going on, though. He liked to think that her laughing was a good thing, but honestly, he just had no idea. All he could do was begin to follow her around and hope that it was a good thing. "And I'm really sorry for doing it without you and all, because I know we didn't even really talk about getting a house at all, but I just… I saw this place a couple of weeks ago and—"
"Oh gosh, these ceilings! Look how high they are!" Lucy gasped as she twirled around in the middle of what would've been the lounge room before she set her sights on the pewter coloured marble fireplace opposite the archway. "And oh god, this fireplace! It's so beautiful!"
"Um, y-yeah, it is…" he mumbled. Is she even listening to me? "But… But I saw this place before and I just… I just completely fell in love in with it, and an hour later I was at the bank and signing the paperwork."
Lucy walked around the old desk that sat in the middle of the other end of the room. "This would be a nice reading area, wouldn't it?" she mused. She completely missed the stunned expression on her fiancé's face as she turned to the wide windows behind her. "I think some shelves would be nice on both walls. And maybe a small desk below this window, or a big, cosy chair over here!"
It was almost as if she'd found a way to read his mind, and Bickslow didn't know how she'd done it. He was convinced she hadn't even been listening to him anyway, but all he could do then was follow her around the rest of the house and just listen to her thoughts on what they could do in each room. Even when they made it to the kitchen that had been completely ripped out by that point and the back wall was completely missing, Lucy just kept going. Everything he'd seen when he'd first walked into that house a few weeks earlier, Lucy could see too.
And the more Lucy explored the house she knew would one day become her home, the more she fell in love with it. She was well aware that it needed a lot of work done to it before it was even liveable at all, but that didn't bother her in the slightest. That was what she loved about it. They could make the house completely theirs, and they could make it their perfect little home for their perfect little family that would one day come to exist.