Chapter Ten: I'll Be The Truth
Scott was set up on the couch, watching the school bus drive by. They were already supposed to be at college. Scott brushed some tears off his face. He was missing his life. What it should be. He was doing his best to fight this with everything he had, but he was starting to get discouraged. Especially since he saw how Stiles was taking this. He knew that his husband longed to be at college. Scott watched some leaves fall off one of the trees, and he was surprised. It didn't happen this early usually. He wasn't even sure where Stiles was, he'd woken up and Stiles hadn't been there. Scott brushed his hand across his handkerchief. Melissa was working, she'd left a note. Scott leaned back in surprise when he saw Malia Tate walking up the walk. He hadn't seen her since graduation. He wondered what she was here for. He assumed to see him but who knew for sure?
When she rang the bell, he called out that he was coming and moved to the door. Scott didn't know what he was going to say to her, she'd been so MIA and no one knew what was going on with her. Scott stepped back slowly to let her in. "Hey, Malia." He said, as he let her inside. Scott was wondering if he could ask her what she had been doing. Scott wasn't sure if it would upset her. Scott was wearing sweats, and they were hanging off him. He noticed her gaze taking him in, and she seemed to look upset that he had to bundle up when it wasn't really cold yet.
Malia stepped inside. She wasn't ready to talk about what had been going on with her, but she did want to let him know that she was sorry that he was sick. Malia moved with Scott to the living room. He asked her if she wanted a drink and she told him a soda, but she'd get it. She didn't want him to tax himself. She headed for the kitchen and got the soda out of the fridge. There was a dog there, eating out of a dog dish. She reached to pet him, and he let her willingly enough. She went back into the living room, Scott was sitting on the couch with a blanket.
"When did you get a dog?" She asked curiously. Malia hadn't exactly been leaving her house. She'd been hiding out. Malia wasn't sure what she was going to tell Scott if he asked. She didn't want to talk about what her issue was.
Scott grinned as the puppy in question came into the room and jumped up on the couch with him. Malia had settled in the armchair. Scott petted Steve as he put his head in his lap. "Not very long, Deaton got him for me." He said, he loved his puppy. "He thought it would help me since I've been sick." Scott figured it was best to just say things instead of letting them fester. "His name is Steve. Stiles really didn't want to keep him. But you know he can't refuse me anything." Scott also knew that Malia had had a crush on Stiles when she'd first come to town. Scott had felt sorry for her, Stiles had never known how she felt. He still didn't. Malia hadn't dated anyone really, although Scott wouldn't be surprised if she had had sex with someone and had never told them about it.
"He's amazing. I love him. I don't know what I would do without him." Scott was trying to have the most positive attitude that he could. He knew that he was still sure that he wasn't going to make it through this, but he didn't want to let that on to everyone. Just Stiles. And his husband didn't want to hear it. Not that Scott blamed him. If it was Stiles who was sick Scott wouldn't want to hear it if he wasn't sure that he'd make it through. Scott wondered what they were going to talk about. Scott felt a bit nervous and he wasn't sure why. They were very good friends. They had been almost since the moment she'd moved to Beacon Hills. Even with her finding out that Peter Hale was her father. That had been a hard thing for her to handle.
"I'm sorry that you're sick, Scott. That's only part of why I'm here. I wanted to talk about Noah." Malia didn't know how Peter Hale could have done what he had. She took a sip of her soda and then brushed some of her brown hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry that Peter did what he did. I know that Derek's making sure that he waits for his trial in jail." She was amazed that Derek was going that extra mile. Derek wasn't a bad person, but he didn't usually do things like that for other people. He was a bit of a loner. Malia didn't like him much, if she was being honest. They were cousins but they didn't have to hang out. She knew that Derek liked her though. He was always trying to bridge the gap. She didn't have the heart to tell him to stop.
Malia watched as Steve eagerly leaned up to lick Scott's face. He was seemingly glad to be around Scott. Malia thought that was completely believable. Scott was an amazing person. It was hard not to like him. She knew that there were people who didn't, like Allison's mother before she passed away, but it was hard to believe that she really had if you hadn't seen it. Malia smiled at him. "That dog really loves you." She said. She was glad that she was able to say something that wasn't about the evil that was her father.
Scott was quick to reassure her about Peter. "You don't have to apologize for what Peter did. Just because he's your father doesn't mean that you're anything like him or what he does is your fault. You have had your own stuff going on, and I don't expect you to be responsible for anything. I don't expect you to tell me anything you've been going through, but you can if you'd like to. You know that I'm here for you. Don't feel like you have to keep it in because of what I'm going through. I like distractions. So if you need to talk it's okay." Scott knew that she wasn't going to talk to him, but he had to be the one to tell her that she could if she wanted to. He was just that kind of person.
"And yeah, I really love Steve. He's a good puppy." Scott didn't know what he would do without Steve. He really was easy to train, he hadn't messed up in the house once. And he loved to play, especially tug of war, which Scott could do without getting up from the couch. He reached for the rope that Steve liked to play with the most and Steve barked, his tail wagging. The puppy's teeth closed on it and he pulled. Scott was smiling as he pulled back. He didn't have as much strength as he used to, but Steve didn't seem to mind. He just wanted someone on the other side pulling with him.
This is when Stiles got home, bringing pizza. "Oh, hey, Malia." He said in surprise. He was glad that he'd gotten two pizzas. He was glad that she was out of her house. Her dad traveled a lot, at least, her adoptive father, and so she was alone a lot when she didn't come out. Stiles wondered if she was here to tell Scott what had been going on with her. Stiles put the pizza on the coffee table, and he was forced to reach and pet Steve, who loved him just as much as he loved Scott. "Yes, hey boy." Stiles said, and leaned to kiss Scott hello. "Hey, baby. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up." He had had some errands to run, and he'd had a meeting with the guy who had rented his dad's house.
"Glad you're here, Malia, it's been awhile since we've seen you." He said, moving to get them sodas from the kitchen and some paper plates and napkins. Stiles moved back to the living room, Scott and Malia were digging into the pizza. Stiles moved and handed them both a paper plate. "I had to do some errands, babe. And we've got a renter for Dad's house." Stiles was glad they'd been able to come to a compromise on that. Stiles reached for some slices himself and settled next to Scott on the couch.
"That's great!" Scott grinned, as he took a bite of his pizza. It was meat lover's, and the other was pepperoni. He opened his soda after he'd set the paper plate down. He was so glad that they'd found a renter, he knew that it had been on Stiles' mind. "Malia just came over to visit." He said, and he was glad that she had. They at least knew she was physically okay. Scott did wonder why she hadn't signed up for college, but it wasn't for everyone. She hadn't even applied that he knew of. Scott also knew it wasn't his business. Scott was just worried about her. It's what he did. Scott honestly just did his worrying for nothing sometimes. But he knew that's what made him a good person, he cared about people.
Malia was impressed. "So you rented Noah's place? That's awesome. I'm sorry about your dad, Stiles. That's actually why I came. I wanted to apologize for Peter. I know I don't have to, but I wanted to. I know that it's horrible, what he did. Derek's… I know that he's doing everything he can to make sure Peter pays for what he did." Malia reached for another slice of pizza. "Also, I'm sorry to crash your dinner. Appreciate being included." She really was glad that she'd come over. Malia wasn't exactly lonely but she had wanted to get out of the house finally. She wasn't skipping college, she was doing online classes. Not all summer, but they had just started a week ago.
"Thanks, Malia. Honestly." Stiles said, hoping that was as far as she pushed it. He reached for his soda and took a drink, "And honestly, it's fine that you're here. We have been worried about you, and we're just glad to see that you're okay. You don't have to tell us what's going on. That's up to you. But really, I am so glad to know that you're okay." Stiles didn't want to talk about his dad. He wasn't doing okay, but as long as they didn't really talk about it, he was managing to get by. Stiles couldn't wait till the trial started. They had a couple of months. That's just how things worked in the legal system. The election for new sheriff hadn't been discussed yet, no one seemed to want to take Noah's position.
Parrish, the head deputy, was acting sheriff, but he hadn't made an official try for it. Stiles thought that Noah would be okay with Parrish being sheriff. Stiles reached for another slice of pizza. "We're wishing we were at college. But they didn't give us any trouble with deferring. They told us our spots would be there for us." Stiles hadn't told Scott that they'd been very sympathetic and hadn't assumed that Scott would make it. Stiles had had to bite his tongue and not yell at them for being that way. He knew that it wasn't their fault and they weren't trying to be rude. Plus Stiles was very sensitive about it.
"Stiles, I know how much you want to be at college." Scott really did feel guilty. He didn't know how to stop feeling guilty, it's not like he could help being sick. "You know, I wish you could go. I really do." Scott didn't say that once he was gone, Stiles would have the chance. It was too hard for him to be positive when he knew that the chances were so slim. Melissa had been a nurse his entire life. He knew how this usually went. Scott met his husband's eyes, and he knew that Stiles was working not to cry in front of Malia. Scott reached out and tilted Stiles' face so he could kiss him. "Bae, I'm sorry." He whispered against his lips.
Sighing, Stiles kissed him again. "Scotty, you know this isn't your fault. Stop apologizing." He told him, he knew that Scott wasn't going to stop. "Just eat your pizza while you're managing to hold it down." He told him. Stiles cleared his throat and turned away, to collect himself. He knew that everyone thought that he didn't know how Malia had felt about him, but he did. He also knew that she hadn't stopped. Stiles had a suspicion that that's why they hadn't seen her since the wedding. She'd been having a hard time dealing with the fact that Stiles was taken forever. Yes, the entire time that he'd known her, he'd been with Scott. But with it being official there really was no hope. He'd never brought it up because he didn't want her to be embarrassed. Plus, she might not want him to know that he knew.
He handed some of his pizza crusts to Steve. Scott didn't mind Steve having people food. Plus, he was a very good dog pretty much all the time. Stiles moved to get another soda from the fridge. He was concerned about Melissa. She'd been quiet and reserved since she'd broken up with Chris. Stiles didn't know what she was thinking about. Breaking up with Argent had been the right thing to do. She hadn't been in love with him. Stiles also grabbed some cookies and took them back into the living room with him. Melissa was his family now too and he was worried about her.
Another twenty minutes and Malia left. Scott laid back on the couch, Stiles was moving to put away the last couple of pizza slices and throwing away the trash. Scott was thinking about Rafe. And how he'd managed to not pay for what he'd done. Scott was glad that he was dead, and he didn't feel guilty about that. But he was starting to wish that Rafe hadn't taken the easy way out. He wondered if he was ever going to stop thinking about it. When Stiles came back in the room, Scott looked at him, wondering if he should bring it up. He didn't doubt that Stiles would talk about it with him if he wanted. Scott waited until Stiles was sitting with him on the couch, and the television was settled on something they both wanted to watch.
"Bae, can I talk to you?" Scott asked, moving close to his husband and Stiles put his arm around Scott's thin shoulders.
"You know you can tell me anything, Scotty." Stiles said. He wondered what this was about. He stroked Scott's arm, Scott laying his head in Stiles' neck. "I don't want you to keep things in." He said, and he really meant it. Scott hadn't been talking about a lot lately, and he didn't know that he liked that.
Taking a deep breath, Scott wrapped his arm around Stiles' waist. "Stiles… I'm thinking about Rafe. I'm… I'm glad that he's dead. And I don't feel guilty about feeling good. But… he's never going to have to sit in front of a jury and have to tell people what he did to me." Scott didn't know if that was ever going to be okay with him. He knew there was nothing he could do about it. He hated that he could never do anything. He wanted people to know that Rafe was guilty. He kept thinking about Rafe's funeral, and that guy that Stiles had yelled at. He wanted people like that to know what Rafe had done. He knew that people never wanted to believe things like this. It was always blame the victim.
"I want… I want people to know the truth. I know that it's hard to get people to see the truth when it comes to stuff like this… I know that. But I want… I want people to know what kind of person that he was. That… that he ruined my childhood." Scott hadn't thought about what Rafe had done in a long time. Not since Rafe had shown up at the wedding. It had brought all of that back up. And sadly with nothing else to do but chemo and things, he had nothing else to think about. His eyes brushed with tears. "Stiles… I know that you're angry about it too. What… what do you do to try and get past that feeling? That helplessness." Scott really wanted to feel better about this. He knew that it might be impossible but he wanted to try.
"Oh honey." Stiles hated that Scott was worrying about this. He reached to kiss Scott's cheek. "You don't have to feel guilty and I'm glad you don't. I… I have to not think about it. Because when I do think about it, I want to go and dig him up and mutilate his body. I hate him for what he did to you. You… there's no one like you, Scott. Not anymore. I know that you don't think that you're special. But you are. Do you know what you mean to people? You heard Jackson when he came over here. He and Danny are together because of us. You did that. I mean, yeah, I had my part in it too, but you know that you're the one of us who is the most brave."
Stiles reached and wiped Scott's cheeks. "You can't do anything about Rafe. You can tell the world what he did, if you want. I won't stop you. It might make you feel better. But if you do that, you are going to have to deal with the fallout. You know that I'll be there for you every step of the way. But think about it before you do anything. I want you to feel like you did the right thing. There will always be people who won't believe you. As you saw at the funeral. You don't have to defend yourself a million times, but if you want people to know the truth you'll have to from time to time. I don't… I know that you feel helpless. If I could take that feeling away, I would. You know I hate that you feel that way. But there's not much to do about it."
It was something that Scott had considered, that there would be fallout. Scott leaned up to kiss Stiles. "I love you. I love you so much." Scott knew that Stiles knew that. But he wanted to say it after everything Stiles had just said. Scott leaned his head back on Stiles' chest. "I know. I know that there's going to be stuff I'll have to deal with. And I haven't decided yet if I'm going to do anything. I just…. I hate that people think that he's innocent. Just because he died doesn't erase all the things that he did to me." He didn't know that Stiles was wrong about the feeling helpless. There wasn't much he could do about that. He didn't like it but he knew there wasn't much he could do about it.
"Stiles, you know that I have so much love for you for how much you hate him for what he did to me. That's part of the reason I think I fell in love with you in the first place. Even if it took me awhile to realize it. I wish that I had sooner. But we're together now and that's the important part." Scott was really trying to find a way to stop worrying about Rafe. It was just hard. There wasn't anything else he really could think about. The tumor wasn't shrunk enough for them to remove it yet, so there wasn't anything else to think about. Yeah, he was worried about Melissa, but he couldn't do anything for her if she didn't want to talk.
He didn't think it was a good thing to worry about things that you couldn't control. Scott was trying not to focus too much on it. It was just hard. Scott watched Steve play on the floor, he was playing with a squeaky toy. This is when Melissa came home. "Hey, Ma." Scott said, wondering if she was doing any better today. She'd been so quiet and Scott knew Stiles was worrying even if he hadn't said it out loud. Scott didn't want to discuss it without Melissa knowing, so he hadn't brought it up yet. Scott wouldn't want to talk about her behind her back. That's not something a good son did. He also didn't really know how to bring the subject up with her. She'd been kind of secretive on all of it. Scott was wondering if she was trying to keep it all in or if she was feeling nothing. Scott doubted that it was that one, but he didn't want to assume, either.
"Hey, Ma, Malia stopped in today." He tried, hoping to engage her in conversation. That had been hard as of late. He was sure that she'd rather talk about that than the feelings he was having about Rafe. She'd been very tight lipped about that whole thing too.
Hearing her son speaking to her, Melissa turned towards the sound. She wasn't sure what to say. She was glad that Malia had left her house. But Melissa knew that the girl hadn't told the boys why she'd been in isolation. Even if Melissa was sure that Stiles had a suspicion. Melissa knew exactly why. Besides the crush she was still harboring on Stiles, and so it made it hard for her to see him with a husband, she was having issues with her father. Her biological father. Whatever that was, it was the reason that Peter Hale had been high in the first place to be under the influence to hit Noah Stilinski. She knew that Malia hadn't told them that. Melissa only knew that because Malia had been a patient a few times on behalf of Peter.
All of that she wasn't allowed to bring up and she knew that if she told Malia would kill her. Although Melissa wouldn't be a bit surprised if Stiles was aware of the feelings Malia had for him. She wasn't sure what to say in response to what Scott had said. Then she realized they were still waiting for her to speak up and say something. "That's great, Scott. How's she doing?" Melissa asked, doing her best to keep her tone light and neutral. She didn't want Scott to guess that she knew what was up, or at least, in part, with Malia. Stiles would definitely be the one of the two of them who would have an inkling if she didn't play this right.
Scott didn't notice her mannerisms when she replied, but Stiles did. He didn't know what she was hiding, but he knew that she was hiding. Scott was going through what they'd talked about with Malia, and that she'd seemed okay but that they weren't sure what was going on with her since she hadn't said. Stiles watched Melissa's face the whole time. She was doing a good job, but she was definitely aware of what was going on with Malia. Stiles leaned to kiss his husband. "I'm going to go and help Ma in the kitchen." He knew she was going to be whipping up something to eat.
This is when he followed his mother in law to the kitchen. "Before you start to protest, Ma, I know that you know what's going on with Malia." Stiles accused. "You don't have to confirm what I already know. Yes, I am aware of how she feels. I haven't brought it up because I don't want to upset her. I mean, she might be embarrassed that she's still having feelings and never moved on. She's my friend and I don't want to hurt her. But that's not all it is, is it, Ma?" Stiles asked, as Melissa moved to the fridge to get out some leftovers to reheat. "Tell me, Ma. What's with her? Why has she been hanging out at her house and not leaving? Why has Peter been going around high to the gills and hitting people and killing them?" Stiles' voice broke then, he was missing his dad. He had to know what Melissa knew.
"Is…. did he fight with Malia and then hit my dad after he'd gotten high?" He asked. The room was eerily quiet, you could hear a pin drop.
Melissa didn't look at him, and she paused at the fridge. She was holding a plastic wrapped plate of Thai food leftovers, and she knew that she had to answer that question or Stiles would never stop asking. She moved finally, closing the fridge and moving to take the plastic wrap off the plate so she could warm it up in the microwave. Once it was in and started, she turned to face her taller son in law. "Stiles… I want to tell you. I do. But I can't. It's patient news, and you know I can't reveal that without a court order. I… I know you want to know, sweetheart. And I know how you are. Just, please give me a break." She hated that look on his face, that one where he knew he wasn't going to get what he wanted.
Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward, and he let her take his hands. "Stiles, I know you know how much I love you. How much I loved, and still love, Noah. I will always love him. You are my family. You love my son more than I could have ever asked for in a partner. I know that you're his destiny, okay? I just… I can't tell you this. Not until a court says I have to. Please understand. I can't have you mad at me. Not right now. Not with all the shit storm we've been subjected to lately."
Stiles sighed, and his chin was trembling. He was really feeling the pain of this. As much as he didn't want to. He did. Tears dripped off his chin. "Ma….. I just…." He was so angry, and he wanted to go and scream at Malia to tell him what happened until he was hoarse. She knew what was that had been on Peter's mind and had caused him to hit his father and kill him. The knowledge of that was threatening to break him, his knees were starting to buckle. He hated this. Why did he have to be so perceptive? Why did he have to figure things out?
When his knees began to buckle, there was all of a sudden the smell of his husband in the air, and Scott was catching him as he fell to the floor. Stiles hadn't even realized that he was going to pass out. Thankfully, he didn't, he was just a bit weak in the knees. He took a deep breath, and then Scott was kissing him. Stiles knew what he was doing. He was trying to stop the panic attack. Stiles kissed him back, doing his best to keep it from getting too romantic with Melissa in the room as well. When the kiss broke, brown eyes met brown eyes. Stiles took a deep breath, and tried to keep his mind on what was important. Scott not finding out why he was so upset. There was no reason to burden him like that.
Scott looked into the eyes of his husband. "Come on, bae, we're going upstairs to talk." Scott said, and helped Stiles up, a bit roughly. Scott wondered where he was getting his strength, but he supposed it wasn't super important. He moved to get Stiles up the stairs, and then they were in their bedroom. Steve had followed, and he jumped up on the bed happily and began to chew on his squeaky toy. Scott moved to sit next to his husband on the bed, who seemed out of sorts. Scott didn't know what to do about that, how to make it better.
"Why'd you almost pass out?" Scott asked. He saw the look in his husband's eyes. "Don't even think about getting out of telling me what's going on, Stiles Stilinski-McCall."
That was the question that Stiles didn't want to answer. Scott didn't know how to. He didn't… this would really upset Scott. He might even end up mad at Malia for not telling them when she was over. He didn't want that. He also didn't want to cause Scott to get sicker in any way. Stress could do that. His tumor in his head was a ticking time bomb. They were doing their best to shrink it so they could operate, but that didn't mean that it wasn't going to take him out at any time. Stiles didn't know what to say. He knew that Scott was like a dog with a bone, too. He would keep asking until Stiles told him. Stiles sighed and wasn't sure what to do. It was so much, all of this. "Scotty, please…. Don't make me tell you. It's going to cause you stress."
Before Scott could protest, Stiles reached out and grabbed his husband's hands. "Seriously, Scott. It's something that I really… please. I'll tell you, but I don't even know for sure if it's true. Melissa couldn't tell me, she's not allowed." Stiles really didn't know if he could say the words out loud right now. He was really upset. He didn't know how he was going to keep from yelling at Malia for not saying anything when she was there. Stiles hadn't been this upset with someone in awhile. "It has to do with Malia. I don't want you to be upset either. Seriously, Scott, you're not supposed to be stressed."
Scott hated that Stiles wasn't going to tell him. "Stiles…." He stopped when he saw how upset Stiles was though. He knew if he got sicker or worse Stiles would feel awful and he didn't want that. "Okay, I won't ask you to tell me." He said. Stiles really did look upset. Scott brushed his fingers through Stiles' hair. "You can tell me anything, though, you know that." Scott did wonder what was going on with Malia, and Stiles seemed to know. "Is she okay?" He asked. "I mean…. It's nothing too serious? That's all you need to tell me, I won't press anymore than that." Scott was relieved when Stiles told him she was okay. He looked at him for a moment, trying to suss out if that was really the case. He didn't doubt Stiles might fudge the truth to keep him from being upset.
He brushed more hair off Stiles' forehead. He leaned out and kissed him then, deeply. Scott wasn't sure where his want for sex was coming from. He cupped Stiles' jaw, and his husband was kissing him back just as much as he was kissing him. Scott gasped against Stiles' lips as Stiles tugged Scott onto his lap, his arms sliding around Scott's waist. Scott shivered and they moved to take off shirts, tossing them to the floor. Scott's hands moved across Stiles' abs, causing his husband to shiver. That's when Scott felt like he was going to throw up. He moved off Stiles quickly and ran to the bathroom, just making it to the toilet. He didn't know where this was coming from but he was so mad. He really wanted to have sex with Stiles right now.
Stiles moved to the bathroom, and his heart was pounding as he watched his husband throw up. Stiles moved to get him a bottle of water, they kept a few upstairs just for this purpose. Stiles moved to sit next to him on the floor. It wasn't a chemo day, so this was unexpected. Sometimes there was a certain med that made him throw up, but he hadn't taken it yet for the day that Stiles knew of. Stiles rubbed his back. "I'm sorry, Scotty. I know that you hate throwing up." He really didn't want Scott to be sickl again. He'd just gotten over the flu. He wasn't supposed to get sick, it would make things worse. Could kill him. He grabbed some toilet paper so he could wipe Scott's mouth when he was done.
"You'll stop." Stiles said, and as he said that, Scott seemed to be done. He reached and handed Scott the toilet paper and then the bottle of water. Stiles didn't know how Scott was being able to get through this without a lot of anger. Stiles was so angry. He didn't think that Scott was someone who deserved this. Stiles knew it wasn't exactly nice to think that someone deserved cancer, but he did. People like Rafe, for instance, Stiles thought deserved something like cancer. Stiles didn't know that he felt bad about wishing that on people like Rafe. He knew that Rafe had paid for what he'd done, even if Scott didn't think that it was fair. Stiles was fine with Rafe going out like he did. He was dead, and that was all that mattered to Stiles, even if he did get why Scott wanted people to know the truth.
Scott sighed and took a sip of the water. "I don't… I haven't taken the pill that makes me throw up today." Scott bemoaned. Scott leaned on Stiles. "The point is…. I wanted to have sex." Scott sighed again. He didn't know what he was going to do if he kept throwing up. He knew how dangerous it was to be sick. Scott took another drink of water, needing the taste out of his mouth. Scott couldn't stand up right now, and he wished that he could. He leaned on Stiles. "We should get a bucket for by the bed so I can lay down. I just can't stand up right now." He said, his voice scratchy from the throwing up. He needn't have worried, Stiles easily slipped his arms around him and carried him to the bed. Then he told Scott he'd be right back and left the room.
He laid back on the bed, shivering suddenly and pulled up the covers. Scott didn't know what to do about Rafe. He wanted to tell people the truth, but he wasn't sure that he could tell the story that many times. Scott wasn't sure that he could actually get through it. And then there was Malia. Scott was honestly not at all sure what was going on with her. Scott thought that Stiles didn't know that he knew about Malia's crush on him. Scott did know. He also didn't blame Malia, she'd never tried to steal Stiles away or anything like that. Scott also knew that she wouldn't. He understood that she was just trying to not see Stiles so happy until she was over him. Scott didn't know that he blamed her there, either.
Stiles came back in, carrying a bucket and some saltines and ginger ale. He moved to the bed, and handed Scott the can with the straw and the crackers. Then he put the bucket by the bed so Scott could reach it. Stiles wondered if he should tell Scott about Malia's crush. He knew it wasn't the only reason that she'd been staying away, but he also knew that it was a big part of the reason. Stiles moved to take off his clothes to get into his pjs. He did notice that Scott had the covers on. "You cold, baby?" He asked, as he pulled on a pair of pj bottoms and then slipped into bed with him.
"You… there's something I know about Malia. That I can tell you. At least, it's not something that will get anyone in trouble or hurt. I just… I know that she doesn't want me to know, and she'd be mortified if she knew I did know. That's why I've never told you. I didn't want to tell something that I know that she doesn't want me to know." Stiles saw the look on Scott's face. He seemed to know what Stiles was saying. "You know, don't you? That she has a crush on me?"
Scott nodded, and sipped his soda. "I do know. I didn't know if you knew. But I also know that she's never tried to do anything to steal you away. So I know that she's not going to do anything about it. She just needs some time to adjust to the fact that you're permanently taken." Scott got that. He knew if he wasn't able to be with Stiles and he was with someone else, Scott wouldn't be able to handle that. That brought him to something he'd been meaning to bring up. Scott brushed his hand across his chin and looked at his husband. "Stiles… I want you to promise me something. I know it's going to be a hard promise. I know that. And you don't have to do it right now. You can think about it. I suppose that's what I want. For you to promise you'll think about it."
He could tell that Stiles didn't want to agree, but he would because it was Scott. He took a deep breath. "Okay. I want you to think about moving on after some point, when I'm gone." His eyes brushed with tears, and so did Stiles'. "I know that you don't want to imagine that that might happen, and I understand that. I'm not trying to make you feel any differently. But I don't… I don't think I'm going to make it through this. And I don't want to die knowing that you'll never have anyone else in your life. I mean, I don't like the idea, but I also love you enough that I don't want you to be alone."
"Hey, no." Stiles instantly said. He didn't even want to think about that, Scott was right. "I don't… I don't want to even say the words that you might not make it." Malia was forgotten for now as he struggled to keep from crying. Stiles couldn't even imagine life without Scott. He didn't want to have to promise to try and move on if something happened. "Scott… you're not going anywhere. I refuse to believe that you're going to die. Why do you keep trying to make me consider the possibility?" He asked, his tone actually a bit angry. "I don't…. I know this is happening to you, but it's happening to me too!"
When Scott's eyes brushed with tears, Stiles felt bad. He hated to make Scott upset like that. But he also didn't like that Scott was so determined to think he was dying. "Scott, you know that I will never love anyone like I love you. I haven't ever been in love with anyone but you. I like that we've only ever slept with each other. Do you know how rare that is with people who aren't religious? It's incredibly rare. It never happens anymore. No one but you will ever have sex with me. And I love that." Stiles' voice was shaking by this point. "Please, Scott, don't make me promise that I'll move on. Because I can't even imagine a life without you."
It was hard for Scott too, to imagine having to leave Stiles, but Scott was unable to believe that he'd survive. It was a stage four cancer, once it reached that point there wasn't much that you could do to stop it. Scott didn't know what he was supposed to say. They'd had this argument many times. Scott toyed with the sheets. "Stiles.. I know you don't want to think about it. I know that. But you know that this isn't something that I will likely come back from. I know that you don't want to consider that. But I need you to at least think about it. It's stage four. You know that they can't even remotely remove the tumor until it's smaller. And right now that's not working." Scott had had a lot of time to think about this, especially during chemo treatments when all he had to do was think.
"It's not pretty. I know that. But the survival rate is extremely low. It's not fair, and I know I don't deserve something like this, and it's so… it hurts that we only caught it because I gave blood. But it's what we have to face. I know that it's scary as fuck. I'm scared too. I don't want to die. But I also am not going to look at this as something that I will survive without divine intervention."
It was the first time that they'd mentioned God. Stiles wasn't even sure that he believed in God. But he knew that Scott did. Scott believed in a lot of things that others didn't. He knew that it would actually make Scott feel better if he told him that he would think about it. "I'll think about it, okay?" Stiles asked, and Scott looked relieved. He laid his head back and Stiles knew that Scott could fall asleep easily now. But that couldn't be said of him.