BFDIA 12: Six Trillion Years and A Night
(A/N: This was finished in January 2020, but was posted here now due to a sudden motivation loss that happened for unknown reasons. Additionally, I will be probably heavily tone down the fics in the future as I'm now grown up as an adult compared to when I when I made the past ones as a teenager in high school.)
Blocky's Funny Doings International
Blocky: Hey Guys, for a prank, Place a shredder near the HPRC, then grab a REALLY big stand to tilt it forward, but not too much! Then take our patented Book USB, attach it to the back of the HPRC, kill Book,(A/N: I imagine that after attaching the Book USB, the process of the HPRC of typing Book and cranking the handle becomes automated.) and watch Book get shredded infinitely! It's a complex, yet simple plan that you can do yourself! Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha!
This program was brought to you by Blocky's Funny Doings International.
Announcer: Okay let's cut to the chase. The winner of the prize is...
Golf Ball: 1,337
Teardrop: 1,310
Puffball: 1,256
Ice Cube: 1,067
Bubble: 934
Ruby: 872
Rocky: 777
Black Hole: 587
Pen: 568
Pin: 563
Needle: 527
Bomby: 476
Book: 423
TV: 300
Announcer: Golf Ball.
Golf Ball: Again? Welp, okay. (Looks at a sad Teardrop, and feels truly sorry for her) TD, Sorry for not receiving one, considering you're a fan favorite.
Teardrop: (She shakes Golf Ball's foot in appreciation for the prize. She writes the words to her in a piece of paper, "That's okay.")
Announcer: And Teardrop.
Teardrop gives a surprised look to the Announcer. The remaining contestants gasp in shock.
Firey: Hope you like the surprise double prize giveaway. Cuz as it turns out, we were so focused on Golf Ball at episode 10, that we forgot about the prize! Anyways, Golf Ball, spin the wheel.
Golf Ball: (spins the colorful wheel with her foot, and it landed on "Win an eliminated contestant to your team.") Welp, this is a very easy choice.
Announcer: And your choice is?
Golf Ball: Well, Pencil is the second most voted LOL contestant, and I'm okay with being alone, for now. But if she joins in my team—
Pen: Blah blah blah just get to the point!
Golf Ball: Okay. Pencil! (After what she said, Laser Powered Teleportation Devices teleport Pencil into the stadium.)
Pencil: Yay! Finally I'm out!
Announcer: That's good. You're joining Team No-Name. Actually, No. We're merging Team No-Name with FreeSmart.
Golf Ball and Pencil: WHAAAAT?!
Announcer: And one last thing. No more team switches.
Golf Ball and Pencil: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Announcer: Okay enough with the whats. Now to Teardrop's prize.
Teardrop: (Spins the wheel yet again, and it is stuck in the borders between a small area of "Jackpot! One Immunity Token and One Win Token" and two big areas of "The ability to speak")
Pin: Teardrop, Please! You don't need immunity! Everyone already loves you!(Teardrop drew an angry glare at her) We want you to speak to us for the first time in like, forever!
Pen: Pin's right you know!
All contestants except Golf Ball: (Chants repeatedly) SPEAK! SPEAK! SPEAK!
Golf Ball: Well, it's obvious that she'll pick the Jackpot, after what happened in episode 4.
Teardrop was about to choose "The ability to speak", but remembering a flashback at BFDIA 4, where she chose the others' decision instead of her own, causing her eventual elimination. She decides to blow the wheel to land on the Jackpot for immunity. This caused all of the contestants as well as the recommended characters to gasp in utter shock.
Golf Ball: Told you so.
Announcer: Here's your Immunity Token (gives Teardrop the Immunity token) and Win Token (Gives Teardrop the Win Token). If you're about to be eliminated, you can use your Win Token to void half of your votes, or your Immunity Token to void all of your votes. Note that you can only use one token at a time, and to make things even more fair, here are special rules for Immunity Tokens. First of all, if you somehow managed to earn another Immunity Token, once you used one, you have to wait for the next two eliminations to use the other, and two, you can't use it on the first elimination after you collected one. This also applies if you got two or more Immunity Tokens but never been up for elimination. Anyways, back to the challenge.
Firey: Hold up Speaker thing, (to the viewers) Ahem, As some of you may know, there was some confusion. In BFDI 2 we only told Pin that she can use her Win Token if she was about to be eliminated. But to clarify that, she cannot use it after we start announcing the votes, which we forgot to tell. Well, in the end this is now the new rule of using a Win Token as well as an Immunity Token.
Announcer: Wow! You made a great point. Now the contest.
Pen: Hey why do you say it now?
Announcer: Backlash avoidance.
Ruby is about to spin the contest wheel, only to be stopped by the Announcer.
Announcer: Oh yeah, we're not using the wheel for this episode. I was about to plan it, But since Teardrop did not want to speak, and for the sake of the impatient viewers, the twelfth contest will be to get Teardrop to talk. The team who fails to get her to speak will be up for elimination, and the one who does will get a prize. Teardrop, since you're the test dummy for this episode, you will be clamped into this stand, (a machine clamps Teardrop from all of her limbs) but you win immunity for this challenge. Go.
OOO FreeSmart OOO
Ruby: Okay team, how do we get Teardrop to talk?
Bubble: It's simple, We'll just give threats to her!
Pencil: I agree.
Book: Me too!
Black Hole: Not sure if that idea would work. Right, Icy?
Ice Cube: No!
Black Hole: Is that your decision or Book's?
Ice cube: It's mine!
Black Hole: You're a pretty bad liar, girl. You're sweating, fidgeting, mouth quivering, heh. Remember, Do what you want instead of what she wants, okay?
Ice Cube: (silent)
Book: Mind your own business, Black Hole!
Black Hole: (lets out a sigh of disappointment.)
Golf Ball: Hey... uh... FreeSmart, I think I have an idea—
Book: Your idea? We're not following your bossy ways!
Golf Ball: Wait let me explain the—
Ruby: And does it always cause us to be up for elimination, just like you did in your own team back then?
Golf Ball: I'm not actually sure, but we'll settle it with a vote. Who's with me? (A brief pause.) Okay, we'll follow Ruby's idea. (Mutters) Or do it all by myself...
(Static)
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(Static)
Scene cuts to FreeSmart walking towards Teardrop. She looks scared.
Ruby: Hey Teardrop talk to me!
Teardrop: (silent)
Ruby: Okay if you don't talk, (Holds Firey using both of her hands) then we'll kill you!
Firey: Could you at least put me down?
Teardrop: (silent)
Pencil: Sorry but, you asked for it! (Throws Firey to Teardrop, killing them both. They recover in a Recovery Center.)
Ruby: Welp, she's quite fearless. (Sigh) Back to the drawing board.
OOO W.O.A.H. bunch OOO
Pen: Needle, how should we get Teardrop to talk?
Pin: Well, TD has vocal cords, am I right?
Pen: Okay, so?
Pin: Let's wiggle them!
Pen: Are we risking our hands? What if she could chomp them?
Pin: Well, at least it would be a great try—!
Pen: Here's my idea: Use Rocky's barf, get her to swallow it, and she will have no choice but to talk!
Pin: But isn't that too inhumane?
Needle: Well, how about we take turns to do both methods?
Pen: No, I'm pretty sure my plan will work!
Needle: Well, isn't barfing producing a voice?
Pin: Two reasons why not. One, It's very inhumane, and two, Teardrop is very smart! She can do at least something to prevent a voice coming out no matter what!
Needle: Fine! Let's go with my—
Pin: Ugh. (Plays a tape that plays with Pen saying the word Needy 2763 times and throws it to him.
Needle: (Slaps Pen repeatedly) Don't call me Needy! Don't call me Needy! (Repeats endlessly)
Pin: (sneaks to Teardrop, opens her mouth, and wiggles her vocal cords nonstop. After a few seconds, Teardrop chomps on her arms) YAAAAAAAAAAH!
Pen: (As Needle stops slapping him, he watches Pin screaming in pain): Ha ha!
Time skip: 346 extremely torturous seconds later...
French Narrator: 346 extremely torturous seconds later...
Scene cuts to W.O.A.H. Bunch's, with Pin still screaming in pain. The Announcer hops to them.
Announcer: Okay Guys, let me see your— Woah, W.O.A.H. Bunch, what are you doing?
Pen: Oh we're quitting the challenge. Watching Pin fail was more satisfying.
Announcer: Well cut the slack off. You have a contest to win.
Pen: Heh, it's better to see someone who bosses us around fail.
Announcer: Shush. You're starting to become a Pin or worse, a TB.
Bomby: You don't want to be like TB, right? Eliminated with a record amount of votes?
Needle: Yeah!
Pen: (a brief pause) Ugh, Fine. Pin step aside, give me a chance. (Pushes Pin aside, and holds Rocky. He then proceeds to open Teardrop's mouth and then let Rocky barf right at her mouth. Teardrop swallows all the barf from Rocky, and vomits it back out, still with no voice.) UGH! Darn! When will this torture ever end?!
Pin: I told you so.
OOO FreeSmart OOO
Golf Ball: Well since that didn't work, please try to use my—
Book: Shut up! Can't you just leave?
Golf Ball: Well, we're a team now so—
Ruby: Please just leave us alone.
Golf Ball: But I can't just —
Pencil: Fine! Alliance, beat her up!
Ruby: Geez Louise!
Black Hole: Pencil, calm down. Remember what Pin said in—
Pencil: Pin, pin whatever! I stick to Ruby!
Bubble: Well are you going to throw whatever you said in episode 7 all away?
Pencil: Ugh... Dang it! (let's out a deep sigh.) I think I should learn to control myself.
Ruby: Guys, we should stick to the contest!
Book: But what other plans do you have? I'd say have a revolution! Right, Ice Cube?
Ice Cube: Yeah!
Book: First of all we beat up GB, cuz she's kinda bossy.
Ice Cube: No!
Black Hole: That's right, Ice Cube. Do what you want. Are you saying that you're pretending to be shocked when TB said something very insensitive? (Starts to raise his voice) She already experienced enough pain in one season!
Ruby: Book, you're not—
Book: Yes I do!
Bubble: BOOK NOIO!
Book grabs Golf Ball's left leg and flails her to one side) This is for bossing us around! (Flails her to the other side) This is for making us put random stuff in episode 2! (Kicks her with her leg, causing a small crack to from) And this for not—
Pencil: THAT'S IT! Book, get out of our alliance! NOW!
Firey: I'm sorry guys, but you can't let someone switch into the other team anymore.
Pencil: Well, you know who else wants someone switch? YOU AS A HOST! (throws Firey into a lake, killing him) Book, one last thing! (Shreds Book's pages into many pieces, and stomps on her cover and destroys it into pieces, killing her in the process. All of FreeSmart start to stare at her)
Ice Cube: REVOLUTION!
All of FreeSmart start to bicker and fight each other rowdily. Golf Ball manages to run away safely from the chaos.
Golf Ball: (shows that she had a microphone connected to a machine which said Voice Gum Generator, hidden behind a bush throughout the whole contest) (sigh) Do I have to do this idea all by myself?
(She then eats some gumdrops and proceeds to say "Cake at Stake" directly to the microphone, each mimicking a different voice.)
Scene cuts to night time, and then the next day. Firey, tired and stressed from all the constant torture of Teardrop, as well as the bickering from FreeSmart along with it, turns into Evil Firey.
Evil Firey: Hey Hey HEY! ALL of you come here! (All contestants walk toward him. He unclamps Teardrop from the stand using a device, and throws that device right into Bubble, popping her.) There you go! THAT'S! IT! I've had ENOUGH of your—
Golf Ball: HEY YOU!
Evil Firey: WHAT. NOW?
Golf Ball: Is this what you want? TV, play the video! (TV plays a scene from BFDI 25, with all the characters in the TLC sans David shouting "Cake at Stake!". Teardrop is seen speaking in the background.)
Evil Firey tries to say something but Golf Ball knows what his response will be.
Golf Ball: It's speculation, and she could've lip-synced. Yeah, I know. However, that is the first step of my plan. What I did is that, I annoy all of my remaining team members, except Bubble, then hide behind the bushes to record W.O.A.H. Bunch's conversations. I secretly collect all of their voices, and using this—(shows Evil Firey the Voice Gum)
Evil Firey: (turns back into Firey) Hold up, Golf Ball, this is no time for chewing gum.
Golf Ball: This is not just any chewing gum. It's a voice gum that can change your voice into anything. So, I say Cake at Stake, with micro-perfect vocal cords, and I canceled out every last voice I could record. Eventually though, I realized that there are contestants who are in the clip, but currently not in the show, so I gathered the remaining contestants' voices from the footage of other episodes, and voilà! Here's the final product. (She looped the final product again and again, revealing a woman's voice. Teardrop, with her secret out can no longer hold it in.)
Firey: Golf Ball, I said GET Teardrop to talk, not PROVE that she can—
Teardrop: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I CONFESS!
The remaining contestants gasp in shock as well as the recommended characters.
Firey: You... did it... All by yourself... wait a sec, how did you know she was going to do that?
Golf Ball: I thought outside the box. Since Teardrop is always looks like that she can't speak, instead of "How to get Teardrop to talk", I question myself, "What can prove that she CAN talk in the first place?", because that will force Teardrop to have no choice, but to—
Announcer: Yeah, Yeah! We know. Teardrop has something to say.
Teardrop: Guys, I don't think you'll ever understand why I concealed my voice for so long. But I'll tell you. When I was a young kid, I went to the same object school with Golf Ball. I bullied Golf Ball at every chance I got, call her names, beat her up for being a nerd, and even sabotaging her projects. But it all came crashing down at Yoyle City. At the science museum, nearby our home base, she created an invention, I sabotaged it as usual, but that incident will blow up in a way that I didn't expect. Not only my sabotage destroyed Golf Ball' future, but it also caused the abandonment of Yoyle City. After that incident, I was never the same. I regretted everything I have done and even stopped speaking, for what seems to be eternity.
Pin: Okay, but why go so far as to not speak at all?
Teardrop: The Teardrop family has a tradition of keeping their mouths shut for eternity after doing an unforgivable deed, of course until it has been forgiven. My parents, Raindrop (TD's dad) and Seawater (TD's mom) found out the whole truth to that case, but to prevent publicity, they kept it as a family secret. When I came home from the trip, they were furious of my actions. They say my mouth and hands need to be trained because my words are a curse to the world for them, so they forbid me to speak, until the day we made amends to each other, Golf Ball.
Pen: Wow, that sounds pretty dark. How long do these people keep such tradition?
Teardrop: Today's the day after the anniversary. It's exactly six trillion years and a night. But all that aside, I'm really sorry, Golf Ball for... basically everything. Your dreams, your attitude..., your social standing (sigh). I'll be eliminated next episode.
Golf Ball: Okay, First of all, I don't really mind that incident anymore. Second, I once failed 2763 times in one invention, and you're never there. Finally, Book's bossiness is worse to me, so I don't think you'll be eliminated. So yeah. I forgive you.
Firey: In fact, funny you bring that up. I told you earlier, you'll be winning immunity specifically for this episode, so you don't need an Immunity Token or a Win Token for now. So W.O.A.H. Bunch, you're up for elimination.
FreeSmart cheers in joy.
Bubble: YOOOOI! WE WON!
Ice Cube: We sure did! (Mockingly) Thanks a lot, Golf Ball! (Golf Ball growls at Ice Cube for leaving her behind due to revenge.)
Firey: With FreeSmart. (FreeSmart stops cheering and drew confused faces.)
Golf Ball: B-But why? I did all the work!
Announcer: In my years of hosting BFDI, I have never seen such chaotic coordination of leadership, bullying of one another to the point of abandoning the team, let alone (voice becomes distorted) let THAT one person do all the work! (Voice turns back to normal) Ahem, in fact, all of you make me feel like it was a big mistake of mine to put that prize in the first place!
Firey: You heard him. Because Golf Ball did all the work, She wins immunity, and again a prize. Though I doubt she deserves it anyway.
Golf Ball: Well you're right. I don't deserve another immunity or prize, so I'm giving them to Teardrop, because one, I feel forgiveness for her, two, make up for the torture she's been through this episode, and three, I want to disprove any "Puffball and Golf Ball switched bodies" conspiracy theories. Y'all agree?
Everyone: YEAH!
Firey: Well, the audience has just spoken. I guess Teardrop should deserve an apology prize and another Immunity Token. Voters, Vote for anyone except Teardrop.
WHO WILL YOU VOTE?
Black Hole
Bomby
Book
Bubble
Golf Ball
Ice Cube
Needle
Pin
Pen
Puffball
Rocky
Ruby
TV
OOO
Scene cuts to night time in Yoyle City. Pin is standing right next to Pen.
Pen: Hey Pin.
Pin: What's up?
Pen: You haven't been acting like usual lately. This season, at first, you're friendly and humorous, but now you're back to your old season 1 self. Do you have any secrets you'd like to tell?
A brief silence covers the night.
Pen: Sorry, never mind. But can we promise that we won't tell anyone about this?
Pin: (brief pause) Okay.
Unbeknownst to them, Pencil was standing in the shadows.
Pencil: How long can I keep this, Pen, that we love each other?
END