VULNERABLE

Yang

Everything that I am after Beacon is all because of Dad. Whether it was his unrealistic optimism, his constant daily nagging, or his lack of empathy for my missing limb, Dad has always been there pushing me and supporting me without ever realizing it.

He set me up with Madame Mallari back at the village, a healer who was also a fellow amputee, forcing me to learn how to cope with my lost. He used his connections in Atlas to nab me a sweet metal arm. I couldn't thank him enough, but knowing him, he probably never needed a thank you of any sort to begin with. All my life, Taiyang Xiao Long has always been cheery, helpful, and sees the best in everyone. He's like Ruby in that sense. Too bad his kindness doesn't apply when we're sparring.

"You're close!"

We had just finished training, ending with my defeat. Again. I've lost count at this point, but Dad's right I am close. In fact, I think I'm more than close. I think I'm ready.

"We've been at this for weeks. I get it, you wanna make sure I can still fight. I think I'm doing just fine!"

Dad begins to circle me as he nursed his shoulder that I had just punched with my new metal arm.

"You're still off balance."

"What!? No I'm not!"

He chuckled as he continued to circle around me.

"Honestly, I'm kind of surprised."

I lift my robotic arm up, gazing at it and seeing the reflection of myself smiling.

"I thought it would be just this huge weight, but it feels... natural. They did a great job with this thing."

Out of nowhere, Dad jumped in and began attacking me with a flurry of moves that ended in a leg sweep, knocking me down on the ground.

"I wasn't talking about your actual balance. Although that could use some work to."

I laid there on the ground, gasping for air, while I watched the clouds calmly pass by. I scour my brains thinking what he could have possibly meant, but could come up with nothing. So I exasperatedly asked, making sure he knows how frustrated I was.

"Meaning?"

He laughed and grabbed the towel off of Zwei's mouth.

"I saw your your tournament fights during the Vytal Festival."

Okay, here we go.

"Let me guess. 'I was sloppy?'"

I make no secret to mock him, but Dad didn't mind.

"No, you were predictable. Stubborn, and maybe a little boneheaded."

I expected some form of teasing, but that kinda stung a little bit. Is it because it's true? Curious as to what Dad really thinks, I stood up and looked him in the eye, only to see the same old playful smile that he always wore, painted all over his face. But I can tell that he really does believe all that he just said.

"Do you realize that you used your semblance to win every fight after the qualifiers?"

What's the issue with that?

"So what? How is me using my semblance and different than someone else using theirs?"

I argue back, but knowing how parents are, I probably will lose this argument too. So I look away, hoping that that'd be enough to end the conversation.

"Because not everyone else's is basically a temper tantrum."

He laughed out loud and crouched beside me, while I still refused to look at him.

"I'm serious! Once you take damage, you can dish it back twice as hard, but that doesn't make you invincible! It's great when you're in a bind, but what happens if you miss? What happens if they're stronger? What then? Now you're just weak and tired!"

Dad placed his hand on my shoulders, forcing me to look his way.

"You've always been one to burn brighter than everyone else, whether it was with your smile, or, well..."

He playfully tugged the back of my hair, while I bat his hand away with a smile on my face.

"I remember your first haircut. But you gotta keep your emotions in check. Keep a level head, and think before you act. Your Semblance is a great fallback, but you can't let yourself rely on it. It won't always save you."

Dad began to lower his head. The tone of his voice started to soften, as he walked away to lean against the tree in our backyard.

"Obviously. You definitely have your mom's stubbornness."

Mother, huh?

"Oh, so now we can talk about her?"

Dad laughed, trying to brush away the memories that are still causing him so much pain, though it was pretty obvious that he couldn't.

"Ah! Well as me and your Professors have been informed, you're an adult now, remember?"

Gotta hand it to Dad for using the words I said long ago against me. He's always be crafty with words this way, or is this how parents normally are? I honestly have been waiting my entire life for anyone in my family to talk to me about my real mother. I've always considered Summer to be MY mother, even though we're not blood related, but throughout the years, my curiosity about my biological mother's existence only grew more and more.

So to be confronted by information about her now... why do I feel like running away?

"Well, sorry I remind you of her."

"Don't be."

Dad responded back with that same soft tone.

"Raven was great in so many ways. Her strength, her ambition, her dedication to whatever cause she thought was worth fighting for. I'm proud of how much of her I see in you. But, I'm glad I don't see all of her in you."

And there it is, the source of all his pain, the one thing that Mom has that broke Dad's heart.

"Why?"

I asked. Dad scratched the back of his head, carefully formulating in his head how to explain to me properly what he meant with what he just said.

"Your mother was... a complicated woman. Like everybody, she had her faults, but those faults are what tore our team apart. And, it did a real number on our family."

He looked at the oblivious Zwei, who had his tongue out while he innocently stared at me.

"You both act like the easiest way to tackle an obstacle is through it. That strength is all that matters in a fight. But if you just take a second look..." Dad begins to walk around Zwei as he continued to make his point. "Then maybe you see... there's a way around as well."

So that's the kind of person Mom is.

"Is that why you think I'm off balance?"

He nodded.

"Amongst other things, yeah."

I have a lot to think about. Specifically on what I need to do after all this. Ruby remains my top priority, but Mom has always been at the back of my mind. During the Vytal Festival, when I was tricked into attacking Mercury, uncle Qrow came to talk to me about a lot of things, including Mom. Well, heavens! Even Mom herself visited me after the train incident in Mountain Glenn even if it was just to scold me, but none of them, not even Mom herself, gave me any sort of insight about who she is as person other than the things Dad just talked to me about.

Why is everyone so cryptic when it comes to her? What kind of Mother leaves their daughter in the dark like that?

"Hey, Dad..."

He finished his cup of water and wiped the sweat off his face with the towel wrapped around his neck before looking back at me.

"Yeah?"

I kept my eyes on the ground with my back turn to him. I didn't want him to see how much pain I was in while talking and thinking about Mom.

"What else can you tell me about Mom? Like, how did you two fall in love, or what was her semblance like? Or... why did she leave?"

I tried to hold the tears in, but I couldn't stop them, so I forcefully wiped them off my face as I talk.

"Did she ever truly care about us?"

Dad knelt down behind me once more, and hugged me from behind.

"Honey, of course she did."

"But how could you know! She left us!"

Dad sighed and latched on to me a little tighter.

"Raven cared. Trust me, she did. Maybe she still does. It's funny... her semblance, allows her to create a portal to anyone she's truly bonded with. It's not something she can just do on demand. Raven has always been guarded, kept her emotions and motives hidden and in check. But her semblance wouldn't truly work unless she becomes the one thing she's been trying to avoid the whole time I've known her."

I wiped my face one more time and looked at Dad.

"Which is?"

He smiled back at me confidently.

"Vulnerable, and as you know... you don't become that without trust, and love."

I run my hand across my robotic arms, contemplating the things Dad had just told me. I'm not stupid, I know what he's hinting at, and it's Ezra. Not only that, it's pretty clear that Dad still have some sort of feelings for Mom and that's the part that confuses me the most.

"How? The way you talk about her, there isn't a hint of anger or contempt about her leaving us? You married another woman after her, so it's not like you're hung up with her still, but I can tell from your voice that you still care for her. How Dad? How can you still love- believe a person like that after all that they've done?"

Dad fell back on his butt and rested his arms on his knees. The smile on his face was gone, all that was left was anguish and pain. The entire time, our eyes never lost track of each other, up until he looked down on the thing dangling around my neck.

"How could you, Yang?"

Is this what he meant by saying that I was off balance? Because of Ezra?

"Do you still believe in him? After all that he's done? Do you... still love him?"

I gently place the three-feathered locket squarely on my palms, and buried myself in thought.

"I don't know."

For the last time, Dad sighed and stood up, this time the smile on his face was back. He placed his hand on my shoulder once more and began to walk away.

"Don't take too long Yang. Dinner's almost ready."

I watched Dad walk inside and waited a while before I pulled out my pocket the gray box Jaune left for me, when they whisked Ruby away a few months back. I have yet to open it. I was too angry at Ezra, still am, but like the locket around my neck, I couldn't throw it away. The questions Dad asked me, I really don't know the answer to. Do I still love him? This rage inside me says no, but a small part of me wants to understand and is still holding on to some sort of hope.

In all honesty, the reason why I haven't open the box is because I'm afraid. To me, the things Ezra did is unforgivable. I sincerely believe that my anger for him is justified, but I'm scared that whatever's inside will convince me otherwise, that it will quell the hate I have for him. That like Mom, I'd be... vulnerable.

I gently run my thumb across the three white feathers embroidered along the rope that sealed the small box and slowly undid the knot.

"I guess, I'll at least see what's inside."

I brace myself for whatever it was that was inside, only to see a small flash drive that barely fit in this tiny box. I quickly pulled out my scroll and plugged the device in, and as soon as I did, it opened up a map of Mistral with a blinking red dot somewhere around the dense forest closest to the base of the tallest mountain. An area where bandits commonly occupied, if I remember correctly from Goodwitch's classes.

I don't know what about this blinking red dot that made me really confident and sure, but somehow I knew that where that dot is, is where I'll find...

"Mom."

Ezra found her for me.

Kuo Kuana, Menagerie...

Ezra

Corsac and Fennec has been the focus of this mission for about a couple of weeks now. Ever since my intervention during Blake's attempted kidnapping, the twins have been weary of me. I'm confident in my abilities to stay in the shadows, but even I can tell that most of the things the twins have been doing is suspiciously mundane. Though suspicions ain't really proof enough to convince Menagerie of the Fang's treachery. So long as they distance themselves from Adam and blame his actions as that of a rogue faction, then there really is nothing else I can do, nor the Belladonna's for that matter to convince the High Council to radically change the Fang's approach.

Then again, Blake has always been keen on my presence when I was in hiding, what's to say that trait is not universal to all faunus. Still, I have an inkling that their over commitment to appearing innocent has a deeper story behind it. I've already caught them talking to a faunus with a mask on, which cannot be a coincidence.

"So, any other news?"

Kali and Ghira Belladonna stood opposite of me in their office, with Blake standing menacingly in the corner, calmly observing me from a distance.

"Not at the moment. The twins have stuck to their routine for the past couple weeks with very little deviation to their day-to-day lives."

Although, there is one thing that has caught my attention.

"My OWL helmet is equipped with heat sensing capabilities, similar to the vision that a faunus with a reptilian trait would see."

I flip through the images and videos on my scroll, projecting a holographic screen in front of the couple, and showed them my findings.

"In all the places I've visited to spy on Corsac and Fennec, I've recorded images of a silhouette moving around the area, though when I turn off my heat vision, the number of people don't match up."

The three of them suddenly fell silent deep in thought as they look through the evidence. Feeling like I'm getting close to something they're keeping from me, I press them a little bit more.

"These qualities almost seems like the behavior of a Semblance, or a faunus with a chameleon trait? Anybody comes to mind?"

With that question up in the air, the expression on the Belladonna's face shifted from contemplation to that of worry. Ghira and Kali looked at Blake, who wasn't at all happy at what her parents were hinting at. She had a look on her face that was begging her parents not to say what was on their mind, but Kali and Ghira was determined to see this through. Despite their daughter's silent protest, Ghira looked at me and spoke without hesitation.

"Ilia Amitola."

Blake looked like she was in pain after hearing what her father just said. That's certainly a name I haven't heard before, one that pique's my interest.

"Who now?"

Kali sighed and began explaining.

"Ilia. She has that exact faunus trait you're describing. She's a follower of the Fang all the way back when Ghira and I were still in charge. She always been faithful, but I never expected her to have this level of devotion to the point that she'd advocate for... killing."

Blake snapped soon after Kali finished talking.

"MOM! We can't just jump into conclusions! We haven't even seen Ilia here in Menagerie! We can't just blame her just cause some... doctored photos and images were presented to you."

Kali nodded and agreed, despite her daughter's callousness.

"I- you're right, dear. I'm sorry."

Blake was taken aback by what she just did. She timidly stepped back for a bit, obviously upset at herself for yelling at her Mom. Seeing this, Ghira stepped forward to console her daughter.

"This has been very stressful for all of us, Blake. We're sorry if this offends you in any way."

Blake hesitated at first, but she eventually gave in and hugged her father.

"I'm sorry too, Dad. I came home to Menagerie to be with the two of you. I came here to rest and recover, physically and emotionally, to get away from everything. Hearing the three of you talk about the White Fang is stirring up memories I haven't come to terms with yet. Memories I'm trying to get away from."

I look down, contemplating on what Blake just said simply because I too, feel the same way.

"But Dad..."

Blake continued.

"To just blame Ilia right away is wrong."

Ghira closed his eyes and pinched the skin between his eyes.

"I know dear, I know. It's just that we finally have you back and to find out that you were almost hurt by the organization that me and your Mom heralded, we can't help but feel that we're partly responsible for all this."

Kali moved closer to Blake and began caressing her hair.

"We understand if you're not ready to confront the Fang, it was never your responsibility to begin with. Your father and I established the organization so you never would have to be part of it. So take your time, and let us handle this."

Their relationship is something I admittedly am jealous of. I've reported everything I can at this point, and they've given me plenty to follow up on. I serve no purpose here other than to bring more unwanted animosity, so decide to just step away.

"I'll follow through on Amitola and-" I look at Blake, who was still unsure how to feel about my working relationship with her parents. "And see if I can prove her innocence at least."

With that, I stepped away from the Belladonna estate. I make my way up through the rooftops of Menagerie. To an area I found was abandoned and is close to the forest clearing that eventually leads to the desert. Barely any grimm. That's kind of the beauty about abandoned places, their either chock full of grimm because of its dark past, or none at all for the sole fact that nothing about this part of Menagerie has a dark. The people here are legitimately trying to live a good life, they abandoned this particular area simply because they don't have the time or resource to complete the task.

Works for me, no one to bother me at all.

I hunker down in my usual spot, with the moon squarely on the horizon right in front of me. I find a decent size rubble and carefully took out Pyrrha's shield from its leather case and rested it against the rock. I began to sit down opposite of it, like I do every night, and stare at my reflection. Some nights I just look at Pyrrha's shield, lost in thought, till I eventually drift into a slumber, some nights like tonight, I have the urge to talk.

"I honestly don't know if I'm making any progress. Every day I wake trying my best but it feels like it's never enough. I would always think of what comes after this, and I could never find the answer to that question."

I stop talking, thinking- hoping that Pyrrha would respond somehow. I don't believe in ghosts, but I sure wouldn't mind being proven wrong right about now. Every night this is what I would think to myself, and every night I'm always left disappointed.

"Even if I succeed, where would I go next? or worse, what if I fail?"

Again silence greeted me, but there was something different about this night compared to all the others.

"Well if you won't tell me, then maybe you have an answer, Blake?"

All I could hear from a nearby wall was a gasp, followed by an irritated sigh. It took her a moment, but she finally decided to step out of the shadows and into the moonlight.

"How long have you known?"

I smiled at her before answering.

"You get to know people long enough and you find out that their presence have a certain sensation to it. It's something I learned from you in my time at Beacon."

Blake raised an eyebrow at me while she crossed her arms.

I pat the ground next to me, urging her to come close and sit right next to me.

"Join us."

Blake looked at me, then looked at Pyrrha's shield before she decided to move closer, but still kept a bit distance away from me.

"Even when we were in Beacon, I can never truly hide from you. I guess some of your habits rubbed on to me."

Blake sneered, almost disgusted by what I just said.

"Ugh, please."

I can do nothing but nervously laugh.

"I mean it you know, helping your family with the Fang. Though you're never going to believe me."

She nodded in response.

"I have no reason to. The thing's you've done in Beacon ruined all my trust for you, and I don't think I can ever forgive you for that. It's kind of pathetic you know. You sitting down every night asking for forgiveness from a dead person. Are you doing it because you know she can't respond? So you can put whatever fantasy in your head? Pretend that Pyrrha forgave you?"

What she said just now was admittedly harsh, but I never really felt any sort of anger or any emotion close to it, because I know for a fact that Pyrrha did in fact forgive me, and she's not the only one. Besides, I have other reasons why I'm talking to Pyrrha.

"You have it all wrong, Blake. I'm not asking for forgiveness from Pyrrha."

Blake batted her eyebrows at me. Her curiosity got the better of her, and asked.

"What do you mean?"

I pull my knees close to my chest and wrapped my hands around my legs, as I bury my chin underneath them.

"It's to cope. I know there are people out there that will never forgive me for the things that I've done. I'm trying to make things right, but even that may not be enough. I'm only human, and I can tell you that that hurt, that feeling that you hurt somebody. That feeling that no matter how hard you try, it'll never go away. Talking to somebody eases the pain for a bit, even if that somebody is dead."

Blake fell silent. She furrowed her brows and looked at the ground, I think a part of her finally sympathized with me, but I couldn't be sure, so I asked.

"What about you?"

Caught off guard, Blake raised her head and looked at me.

"What about me?"

"You left Beacon. All this talk about hurting people, the team, your friends- our friends. Everyone else is hurting, but doing everything they can to move forward, yet you ran away. Don't you feel some sort of guilt or remorsefulness for that?"

Blake's eyes widened. She stared at me with anger at first, then slowly, the expression on her face began to change into that sadness. The muscles on her face began to twitch and soften as tears began to well up in her eyes. It would seem I hit the mark. Blake broke down and dropped on the floor. She buried her face on her knees while she cried her heart out.

"I- I love them, Ezra... Ruby, Weiss, Yang. I love them like I never thought I could love anybody. I think about them everyday. They were my friends! I left because my past caught on to me and I hurt them! And I hope they hate me for leaving."

I try to reach out and console her, but held back. I'm the last person she needed any sort of consoling from.

"You don't mean that, really."

"I DO!"

She yelled back.

"The choices I made, running away from my parents, running away from the Fang, running away from Adam all caught up to me and it hurt the people I care about the most. Then I- Then I left them! It was so hard, I know they hate me for it but was the right thing to do! I don't want my choices to haunt the people I care about anymore."

Blake slowly calmed down, though the tears in her kept flowing still.

"Listen, Blake..."

I know I have no right to give her any piece of advice, but I feel like I have to tell her what I'm thinking or things will never change between us.

"The most important thing I learned in Beacon didn't come from the lessons that Ozpin and them preached during our classes, but it during the time I spent with all of you. The legitimacy of which you can question all you like, but to me they were real. Being with the all of you made me realize that the moment you bond with someone, the moment you agree to let someone in your life, you forfeit the sole ownership of your being."

Blake slightly tilted her head my way, not wanting me to see that she was legitimately curious in what I had to say.

"To truly bond with someone is to put them before you or along side you. Every decision you make not only affects you, but the people you care about as well. And that goes for them as well. You may have decided to leave because you thought you were hurting your friends, but you don't get to decide what we do... as your friend."

I pause for a moment, trying to gather myself and find the courage to recall the flames surrounding me and Blake when we fought Adam.

"That time in Beacon, Yang jumped to protect you. Nothing you could say back then would have stopped her. It was her decision to protect you. It's unfortunate that it ended the way it did, but I have a feeling that if you ask Yang, I betcha she'd do it all over again."

I look away from her and shifted my gaze at Pyrrha's shield.

"That's why I'm doing all of this. I forced myself into everyone's lives and I ruined it for a lot of you. Especially you Blake, and I want to make it right because I was given the privilege to be a part of you. And if at the end of all this, you and the others decide to still cut me off then, so be it. That's the consequence of my actions. But this is my decision to make as someone who you used to consider your friend. I- I just hope I'm not too late."

Me and Blake sat there in silence for a while, staring at Pyrrha's shield, the two of us waiting for the other to speak, before finally, Blake conceded.

"Fine."

She whispered.

I look at her confused, but she refused to clarify, till the weight of my stare finally got to her.

"I'll... consider it Ezra."

"What?"

She gritted her teeth and abruptly stood up.

"I said I'll consider it!" She turned her back at me. "I'll leave you alone till this matter with the White Fang is resolved. I'll even help you. Then after..."

She turned around and faced me, still refusing to look me in the eye, but this time out of embarrassment instead of resentment.

"Then after... maybe I can find it in me to understand you a little bit more, and maybe I can find forgiveness somewhere in between. M-maybe."

Tears began to well up in my eyes but I held it back. I reach out my hand, hoping that Blake would do the same. She stared at me for a second, the hesitation in her face still evident, but to my surprise, she extended her hand out and shook mine.

Finally. Finally I'm making progress.