VOTE TIME! And Housekeeping.

First of all, I just uploaded another chapter this last week. Go back one if you missed it. Don't want you guys feeling ripped off seeing this and thinking this is what you got instead of a new proper chapter this month.

I'm already working on the next real chapter, but I need your help.

It is time for Harry to choose his new school, and I'm going to let you all vote on which one (Though my patron's votes count for more). To ensure you all have the information necessary, here are the details. Because depending on which school you choose will decide which of "The Crazies" I've introduced will be the major villains and how.

SCHOOLS:

Depending on which school you choose will determine which "Crazy" from "activating the Crazies" will be the main villain. There is also other information abotu the schools you should consider before voting. Whichever villains don't get to be the bid bad will still have their moments to shine, just without the homefield advantage. It will determine how I work each one into the story. Ball is in your court people.

1 Koldovstoretz : Russia

Villain(s): Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin. Lich. An undead being who has trapped the entirety of his soul into a phylactery. Like a horcrux minus the murder and splitting soul. And much more dangerous for the user because if somebody gets their hands on it, it could be a bad time. Plus, his followers. Had a huge fellowship of mystics before his "death" I remind you this is Russia 2-3 years after the collapse of the USSR in the Potterverse. Things are still pretty crazy.

School in canon : "Students from Koldovstoretz played a version of Quidditch where they flew on entire, uprooted trees instead of broomsticks."

That's all we know in canon. Though everyone also guesses that since Durmstrang only takes purebloods from Eastern Europe that half-breeds and muggleborns may all attend Koldovsteretz. I will also be going heavily into occultism, see also "Mr Mythos" in terms of the culture and magic here.

2 Castelobruxo : Brazil

Villain(s): David Rojo, leader of the cult of Santa Muerto( The bad one that does human sacrifices and kidnapping and competes with the cartels for most fucked up people in central and South America.) I have nothing pleasant to add to him.

School in canon : "Castelobruxo students were especially advanced in Herbology and Magizoology, and the school offered very popular exchange programmes for students from European wizarding schools." - Harry Potter fandom Wiki

Aaand that's about all we know outside of their uniforms being a bit complicated. Aside from that, we know that it's at least as old as Hogwarts, meaning it was founded long before the Spaniards arrival and therefore likely has a LOT of precolonial architecture, art and magic. So MUCH for me to work with as a writer here if you choose this one. it is also likely in the middle of the amazon rainforest far away from civilization, hence the focus on herbology and magizoology, and those of you who know about South American fairies and "cryptids" know I have even more to work with here than I'm letting on.

3 Mahoutokoro: Japan

Villlain(s): Tomoko Matsumoto and Bao Li. The former is the wife - see, enslaver - of Aum Shinrikyo. Leader of the doomsday cult "Supreme Truth!" Remember those serin gas attacks in the Tokyo subways in 1995, one year after the events of goblet of fire? Yeah, those assholes. In this fic she is a witch controlling Aum with the use of an imperius and love potion. She is FUCKING NUTS! And a fangirl.

Bao Li is Sue Li's grandmother and representative of Taiwan, which in this Fic is a founding country of Mahouokoto.

School in Canon: They play Quidditch in typhoons because during good weather they have to dodge planes from the American Airbase a few miles away instead.

"When students started off at the school, they were given robes that grew as they grew and changed color as the wearer gained experience, with pink as the beginning color. If the wearer received top grades in all the school subjects, their robes would turn gold.

Any student who betrayed the Japanese wizard's code or practiced Dark Arts would result in their uniform turning white, which was a huge disgrace, and the student in question would be immediately expelled." - Harry Potter fandom article on Mahoutokoro.

Students fly back and forth from their homes on the backs of giant storm petrels.

School in this fic : The Petrels will be ditched and the school will have dorms, but otherwise everything is as described above. I would add that Japan has a BIG celerity obsession culture and Harry Potter is a celebrity. So, stalker problems and fanboys/girls will be a big part of his time there should he attend. And as you can imagine, they are just going to ADORE his pink robes. Will include a lot of jokes at the expense of weebs and a few on Japanese culture(THREE ALPHABETS!) and possibly a few offensive references to paper houses and nuclear weapons. Also will have students from most east Asian countries, even though in canon it does only appear to cater to Japanese natives. Will also explore the Ainu culture.

4 Uagadou : Central Africa, probably DRC(High mountains like Mount Stanley, far away from Middle East, centrally located.)

Villain(s): Mustafa Adrisi Abataki and a wizard Nelson Mandela wannabe along with other horrific war criminals of Central and South Africa in the 90s(Lord of war anyone?). The former was the Ugandan Military officer and Vice President during one of Uganda's most bloody periods. One of Idi Amin's closest associates. A lot of collusion and weirdness with Great Britain and an unusual amount of leniency for his many war crimes.

The latter was an extremely racist Marxist terrorist who bombed women and children and ordered his followers to bomb women and children. Was arrested for bombing women and children and was offered release if he told his followers to stop bombing women and children but he refused to order his followers to stop bombing women and children. Also deeply enjoyed necklacing people. that's where you wrap somebody in barbed wire, put a gasoline-filled tire around their neck and light them on fire in order to watch them shred their bodies apart with the barbed wire as they futilly try to escape the fiery, melting rubber flowing down their rapidly burning bodies and skulls. Plus their eyeballs explode from the heat of the flames. Isn't that delightful?

So yeah, wizard version of that monster. Just so you know what kind of villains we'll be dealing with if you choose Uagoadou.

School in Canon: "largest of the eleven wizarding schools, accepting students from all over Africa." - "Visitors to the school spoke of a stunning edifice carved out of the mountainside and shrouded in mist, so that it sometimes appeared simply to float in mid-air." Produces many animagi, has a strong focus on wandless magic and "Uagadou students were famously skilled in Astronomy, Alchemy, and Self-Transfiguration. "

School in this fic : With roots in the lost kingdoms of Sub-Saharan Africa whose remains stump the best archeologists today who have no idea who could have made them. Like the massive, terraced mountains/rice patties and entire cities with no known makers or inhabitants that predate ancient Egypt. I'm an archeology nerd and nobody seems all that interested in this lost chapter of human history, mostly because its unsafe to DO any research in these regions, but still. I wish all these Hotep people would stop trying to steal/claim the cultures of Egypt and us Jews and actually rediscover their own. Very interesting and mysterious lost history out there. I'll take the chance to do so instead.

And now! Some explaining and responses. Or as I like to call it, housekeeping. I didn't want this chapter to be just an announcement that I'm holding a vote on what school for him to attend, so I also wanted to clear up some confusion and explain a few things.

Prophecy?

I removed that plotline. It was stupid. That is all. If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't worry about it.

Crack Fic?:

This story is not QUITE a crack fic, but it's the closest I've come. I do thread the line, BUT I am writing it by the seat of my pants. There is no proper outline, I make everything up as my patrons dictate and usually while drinking. While I don't necessarily keep my characterization of different people lore accurate, I do keep it interesting and understandable. Or at least try to. And after today's vote I will strive to create a proper story outline and have better direction in the future.

The truth is this story was only meant to be a one-shot. That first chapter? Perfect. Everything after that? Only exists because people kept demanding I update. And then my patrons demanded I continue. And yet it keeps coming out... I wouldn't say GOOD, but definitely interesting. And so I shall continue writing it.

I think SteveM put it best when he described Harry as "Intelligently Cracked." I think that's what I would classify this story as. Intelligently, and selectively, cracked.

Harry as a Sexual Violence Victim:

Several people complained that Harry's outlook on what Sue did to him, which even he recognizes borders on rape, was unreasonable and dangerous... And then openly admit is exactly the thought process rape victims go through - for better AND worse - in real life. So, thank you. I'm glad I wrote it accurately. And glad/sorry it disturbed you. That was kind of the point.

But Harry has decided to not only forgive her and move on but recognize it as the complicated sexual experience it was between two immature teenagers. Sue? Could definitely be charged with "Made to penetrate" and then suffer... no real legal penalties even if Harry could get any law enforcement to believe or care and press charges, but he is being shockingly mature about it and even more forgiving.

Holocaust Deniers:

I've had multiple holocaust deniers come in here and complain about my speaking ill of German Socialists. Even defended them. I, as a Jew, do NOT appreciate being told that the socialist ideology that led to the mass execution of 3-6 million of my people was a complete fiction. When their evidence that the National Socialists weren't socialist amounted to:

- They weren't Marxist therefore they weren't socialist because Marxism is the only true form of socialism. As a non-Marxist communist myself, I don't appreciate this erasure of me.

- They killed members of other socialist/communist parties and no far left leaders NEVER do that... Yes, really.

- They were antisemitic, which left-wing ideologies never are... Again, anybody with an even passing knowledge of the history of far-left ideologies can tell you THERE's a rabbit hole I don't want to go down because it will make you all ask why in the world I'm a communist with all the rampant antisemitism of Marx and other far-left leaders, but I'm not here to proselatize my ideology.

But the biggest doozy of them all:

- Well, the Swedish Socialist part was in power back then and they didn't kill rivals or do any of that other bad stuff... Go ahead. look up "The Socialistiska Partiet". They never gained more than 5 seats and were out and out NAZI supporters. They were also Anti-Stalinist, and like Hitler and his followers, branched off from the communist party of their own nation because "They weren't TRUE socialism!" Yes. Adolf Hitler was a former leader of the Marxist party of Germany.

Aaaaand that's enough history for now. So yeah, no more holocaust deniers please. It has no place in fanfiction, let alone my stories. Go read Stormfront or something. Or better yet, go read/watch some actual history. TIK History on YT has a great four-hour documentary on Hitler's Socialism that serves as a good introduction and reading list of books from there.

I'll probably make a video response with the reviews from these Holocaust Deniers and their reasoning. It's kinda hilariou.s But if they're reading, don't worry, I will anonymize you.

Gender Issues:

I had equal amounts of people complaining about and complimenting my views on gender issues in wizarding society. It was either "I don't like hearing about it" or "That's interesting. Here's what I have to add to it."

I would like to share some of the latter.

Axccel said : "I would imagine that having magic is a sort of unifying, almost familial factor in wizarding culture. And would make abuse of magic feel like a personal attack against every other magical due to that bond."

Which I think is the perfect way to word it.

But yeah, the wizarding world has true gender equality. It's the biggest theme of this story at times, or at least the biggest serious one. And that's... really all there is to it. Bellatrix didn't get the Manson girl treatment. Women who murder or rape go to jail in the wizarding world and don't get lighter sentences. Male birth control isn't repressed. Witches are drafted. Divorce/alimony/paternity fraud/child support aren't really issues because they're a bit on the old school way of marriage(Death till you part. Shotgun weddings galore. Chastity till marriage and mandatory paternity tests at birth.) Not things I support(except for mandatory paternty tests), just what makes sense for wizarding Britain as I'm exploring it.

They're equal. Actually equal. Smith and Wesson didn't make man and woman as equal as wands do. That's all I have to say about it. I kept it pretty simple and tried to show it in humorous and insightful ways. I feel I succeeded.

Dumbledore:

Not a villain. Not manipulative. But still powerful and intelligent. Genuinely cares for Harry, but potentially dangerous as always. I will NEVER bash him. Please stop suggesting it in reviews. No character bashing. Which brings us nicely to:

The Dursleys:

This caused a lot more schism than I expected. Only 2-3 people disliked it, but boy did they dislike it. I need to clear a few things up.

The Dursley treatment of Harry was NOT acceptable. Harry was deeply emotionally and psychologically messed up from them, but he wasn't right in the head before arriving and not ALL of his life with them was their fault. They were wholly incapable of tending to him and hating them for neglect is as unreasonable as hating a preteen parent(whichyes, I have encountered) for neglect. Homo Sapiens and Homo Arcanum(TM) are two completely different species that don't mix well even as mature adults. But an out of control child capable of destroying your home with a temper tantrum?

Petunia and Vernon are NOT Johnathan and Martha Kent, and even they would have had a harder time with Harry than they had with Clarke.

Some empathy, some understanding, is in order. Especially for Dudley and Petunia. And realizing that our view of the Dursleys is poisoned because we only see them from Harry's biased viewpoint is important. The early life I've painted here does not EXCUSE the Dursley's treatment of him. But it does EXPLAIN it. Moreso than the popular theory that Harry's horcrux drove them mad like the locket did to the trio in the tent.

Did I miss any topics that needed to be elaborated on or explained in an Author's note? Let me know, I'll get on top of that.