A/N: This is the chapter with the most changes suggested by my wife and excellent editor, Amalia. I had to take an axe to it and almost start over. You don't get to see version 1, but I hope you'll agree the new one comes up to the mark. Wade
"Lizzy, do you think Jane is partial to Mr. Bingley?"
Elizabeth wondered exactly what her good friend Charlotte Lucas was inquiring about, but her answer was a bit more delayed and pensive than it would ordinarily be. They were in the drawing room at Lucas Lodge a fortnight after the assembly, for a dinner party, and had been in conference for a quarter hour.
"Of course, she is. He would have to be a simpleton indeed to be unaware she holds him in esteem."
"Yes Lizzy, it is obvious to those of us who know her well, but are you certain a man who was not acquainted with her before a few weeks ago will have both the insight and fortitude to detect it and act on it?"
"What can you mean, Charlotte?"
"Being a gentlewoman, Jane should never break any of the very well‑reasoned rules of good behavior, nor should she pretend to a feeling she does not possess, but she should endeavor to show at least as much affection as she feels, and perhaps more, until she has fixed his attention."
"But that is not sound, Charlotte. You know it is not sound. What does Jane know of his character? What does she know of how he treats others over time? How can she know anything certain after a fortnight, with but a few public meetings?"
Charlotte looked at her with the look of a woman who had now spent a decade in the pursuit of a good match, or an adequate match, or sometimes she might think, any match at all. It was true that Jane was beautiful and amiable, and she had at least half the accomplishments a woman of her class should have, but Jane was more than six years into the hunt herself with nothing to show for it except some bad poetry.
"Lizzy, let us make a stipulation, if you will."
"Of course, Charlotte."
"Let us just say that the 'task' of finding your life's partner is difficult. It is like a game we all play, though we know neither the rules, nor the strengths of our opponents."
The Elizabeth of five months previous might well have laughed and came up with an impertinent comment. She might even have tried to talk her practical and sensible friend against her opinion. Things as they were, the Elizabeth of that evening at Lucas Lodge did neither of those things. Instead, she gave her friend's thoughts the consideration they would have been due, but may not have received, in the past.
Charlotte was quite happy to see the pensive look on her friend. She did not want to vex either of the Bennet ladies. They were not in 'competition' per-se, but they were all reaching for the same elusive goal. All their lives they had been taught that advantageous marriage to a good partner was to be their primary goal in life, and most of their efforts were at least hypothetically bent towards that pursuit. Charlotte accepted this without question but wondered if her friend still did. They had been in complete agreement most of their adult lives, but Charlotte had noticed a distinct lack of enthusiasm for the pursuit in her friend the last half‑year.
"I will concede your point, Charlotte. Is it really your opinion that all ladies, should grab the first gentleman we can fix?"
"Of course not, Lizzy, and you know perfectly well I do not think so. We must make allowances for differences in temperament and situation. I would be reasonably content with any number of men or situations that would drive you quite mad. I would not chastise you for demurring any attention from such a man, nor would I expect you to criticize me for accepting, or even subtly pursuing him."
Elizabeth looked at her friend for just a moment wondering if she knew Charlotte at all, or if, as appeared likely, she had been neglectful about understanding her closest friend. This whole discussion would have been very foreign to her a few months before, but after Ramsgate, she was questioning everything.
"You are right, Charlotte. We are, all of us, even the men, mired in a game we do not truly understand. The rules are there, implacable and stubborn, but they are real, and we must abide by them. Quite surprisingly, I find myself in agreement with you. Should such a hypothetical man come into your sights, I will happily assist you in any way I can."
With that, a bit of tension was released, and the two friends found themselves in more of an accord than they had previously.
Jane had always been an enigma, but she had also been Elizabeth's closest friend and confidant for as long as she could remember. Now though, Lizzy found that former closeness to be a cause for concern.
In the first place, Elizabeth found the very idea of any close confidant of any kind worrisome. Suppose she still slept in the same chamber with Jane, as she frequently had until she left for Ramsgate, and woke up with nightmares, or worse yet, spoke aloud about one of her secrets. Jane Bennet was not a woman made for carrying a burden of guilt. She would never betray a trust, but Elizabeth was of the strongest opinion that it would crush her sister believing that so much wickedness existed in the whole race of mankind, as was there collected in one individual. To intimate that her sister might be acquainted with such evil, or to make Jane responsible for protecting Elizabeth's secret would sap away Jane's vitality. Elizabeth thought it would kill her, all for no purpose, as Jane could do nothing to protect Elizabeth or even support her through her difficulties. Jane was just as Elizabeth had told Miss Darcy, the type of person for whom sharing the burden would double it rather than halving it.
Charlotte on the other hand had some resilience and good sense. If Elizabeth ever felt that she just had to tell somebody, or she had to trust somebody to help her get out of Meryton, or if she just had to get someone to cause a distraction, Charlotte would be equal to the task. Should Charlotte ever learn her deepest darkest secret, Elizabeth was confident she would take it to the grave, protect her friend, and probably pin a medal of valor on her chest on the way by. Elizabeth thought that perhaps Mary would do the same if pressed and she was most disconcerted to find that Jane was not among those she would turn to, unless she was desperate.
The long dead 'G.W.' had a lot to answer for.
Elizabeth looked carefully at her friend and discovered that her pensiveness had not gone unnoticed.
"Elizabeth, you have been different since your travels in the summer. It seems to me you are burdened. Is there anything you would like to tell me?"
Elizabeth drew a deep breath and decided to give all the truth she was capable of.
"Charlotte, I am different. I believe I could trust you with my life. I may at some point in time call on that trust, but for the moment I have nothing to share."
That statement itself, although it was probably just clearly stating something Charlotte already strongly suspected, further cemented the bond between the two. Charlotte did not feel any compulsion to pry into Lizzy's secrets, but it was comforting to know she had her friend's respect and would be called in case of true need.
Elizabeth and Charlotte separated some few minutes later to spend more time with their other friends. Charlotte continued an earlier discussion she had with Louisa Golding.
Elizabeth went to spend a bit of time with Jane, and sometimes Mr. Bingley, but found she was mostly distracted by thoughts of Mr. Darcy. The gentleman had greeted her politely upon arrival and tried a few times to engage her in conversation. He was always deferential and respectful and, she begrudgingly had to admit, somewhat charming. She realized that she had been nothing but churlish to date and wondered if that was her best strategy. The man clearly wanted some type of acquaintance with her, or he at least wanted to feel that he was truly forgiven for his unkind remarks. Elizabeth realized that she had offered the words of forgiveness, but not the sentiment, and was carefully trying to decide how she should allow just enough to slake the man's thirst without drowning either of them.
The entire evening had been spent asking herself the same question with the same lack of results. He was certainly handsome, but not in what she would consider a bad way. Most truly handsome men she had met knew perfectly well that they were well formed, and always had. They nearly always carried that knowledge in their bearing in an attitude of overt pride and haughtiness that Elizabeth could not like. Mr. Darcy, on the other hand, dressed well, but did not strut or preen, and so long as the matchmakers left him alone, he left them alone. When he was talking with a gentleman, a wife, a matron or just about anybody that was not a potential matrimonial target, he seemed from a distance to be very amiable. Quite why Elizabeth found herself able to make such a detailed assessment was a mystery to her.
Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley were similar and different in most interesting ways. Mr. Bingley was happy and seemed to feel a compulsion to make everyone around him happy, even if they did not particularly want to be. Mr. Darcy was uncomfortable in crowds, but once someone got inside his guard, he seemed to offer more genuine thoughtfulness. Mr. Bingley smiled and laughed with everyone, while Mr. Darcy treated them with a bit more reserve, but also a bit more respect.
Nobody could fault the man's persistence either. Aside from his manners at the assembly, which frankly were no worse than her father's, whenever he deigned to attend, Mr. Darcy had shown quite a remarkable amount of character. He was kind to her sisters, which was sometimes even beyond Elizabeth's capabilities, and he even managed to hold a five-minute conversation with Maria Lucas, a feat the lady would have considered nigh on impossible. He even, apparently, watched her enough to ascertain who were her particular friends, mostly by listening for sensible conversation, even if he did not intrude or otherwise participate.
Charlotte's circuit of the room and her acquaintances eventually placed her in the path of a man she had enjoyed knowing all her life.
"Mr. Bennet, are you enjoying the evening, Sir?"
"Yes, Miss Lucas. I must say it is almost worth leaving my library for the evening. Tell me, young lady, what do you think about our bewildering couple?"
Charlotte was a bit confused by his reference but following his eyes as he nodded around the room, she realized she had been noticing peculiar behavior all evening without being able to quite put her finger on it. The question from the Bennet patriarch made her observations clear.
"I would say, Sir, that bewildering is the right word. I presume you mean Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy?"
"Can you imagine anyone else here that would spark my interest? Of course, there are Jane and Mr. Bingley, but you cannot countenance that little play being of very much interest, let alone bewilderment."
"No, Mr. Bennet. I imagine you would not find yourself utterly absorbed by your eldest daughter's matrimonial prospects."
While it sounded like quite a biting comment, Mr. Bennet laughed, and Charlotte joined him. Mr. Bennet's legendary indolence was something everyone knew about and had come to accept or not. Charlotte had been aware of it for a long time but, much like Elizabeth, found it much more convenient to concentrate on the father's wit and ignore any supposed shortcomings in his daughters' upbringings.
After a moment, Charlotte felt it was time to try to see if Elizabeth's father agreed with her observations.
"Well, sir, are you astonished by Mr. Darcy's seemingly abrupt change in demeanor from the first assembly, where he talked to nobody and his current nearly universal amiability?"
"Partially, Miss Lucas, although that part is readily understandable if you just give the man leave to have a bad night at the assembly. I nearly always have bad nights when I attend assemblies, so I can readily sympathize with his plight."
"So, would you assert that Mr. Darcy's behavior this evening is ordinary for him?"
Now Charlotte thought she was bordering on uncivil gossip and would not have asked the question of anybody but Mr. Bennet, but she felt confident he would answer her honestly and keep the conversation quiet.
Mr. Bennet understood the gambit, laughed a bit and replied, "This is his normal disposition when he wants to be amiable. I cannot say how often he wants to display such a quality. I believe this is probably the way he would like to behave in society, but I find myself uncertain that society has allowed him to do so regularly. But enough about Mr. Darcy; what say you about our Lizzy?"
"It would seem Sir, that Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth vacillate between attraction and repulsion. I do not ever recall two people trying so very hard to avoid speaking to each other yet remaining within sight and hearing. Neither will go to the trouble of going to an entirely different room, but they both seem to be studying the other like hunter and prey."
Mr. Bennet laughed along with Charlotte, aware she was probably overstating her case for effect, an effort he could well appreciate.
"I believe you may have the right of it, Miss Lucas. Perhaps you might like to 'encourage' them?"
Charlotte agreed that it might be diverting to do so, but only if it could be done subtly. She moved onto other topics and spent another quarter hour talking to the gentleman before moving on to her other friends.
Charlotte eventually made her way back to Elizabeth's side, and they wandered the room together. After a small conversation with Colonel Forster about a ball, she noticed that Mr. Darcy had managed to once again work his way to where he could hear it, so she decided to follow Mr. Bennet's instructions just to see what happened.
Raising her voice slightly, Charlotte asked, "Do you agree, Mr. Darcy?"
Mr. Darcy seemed startled to be addressed thus, and Elizabeth looked likewise alarmed, but Charlotte thought that since they had been circling each other all night, it was high time they spoke in the same conversation.
Mr. Darcy moved closer, and replied, "I assume you are referring to your request to the Colonel to hold a ball?"
"Yes, that is the question."
Darcy looked more at Elizabeth than Charlotte, and replied, "I suppose you would assume I oppose the idea. Miss Elizabeth is quite aware that I am frequently not at my best in balls, but I do believe I would support it. The fact that I am uncomfortable with balls does not negate their value. I can always decline to attend, and it would probably be a good opportunity for the militia to meet the local gentry."
Elizabeth listened to the statement curiously, and Charlotte just waited for a moment to see if she would say something in reply. She waited what amounted to several heartbeats in vain, and finally decided to force the issue.
"What do you think, Elizabeth?"
Elizabeth reddened slightly, apparently surprised to be asked, but finally replied, "I agree with Mr. Darcy."
That seemed to be all she had to say on the matter, so Charlotte decided to end the torture by asking Elizabeth to play some music. The request happened at every gathering as Elizabeth was quite popular, and they usually had a good few minutes of banter while Elizabeth tried to either decline or minimize her skill. However, on this night, Elizabeth just agreed without argument.
Both ladies curtsied to Mr. Darcy and Colonel Forster and strolled towards the pianoforte.
Darcy wandered over to where he could watch the performer without interruption and paid her his full attention; something he rarely did for anybody but his sister. Her performance was pleasing, though by no means capital. After a song or two, Darcy decided that he liked her performance, and that was really all he cared about. She did make the occasional error but displayed such a love of the music that these were easily overlooked.
She was succeeded at the instrument by her sister Mary. Darcy noticed a bit of eye-rolling among his fellow audience members that was hardly polite, but which probably presaged a performance that would not satisfy the audience. He was quite pleasantly surprised when Miss Elizabeth stayed beside her sister to turn the pages and appeared to be talking to her during the performance. He found both the performance and the interaction between the sisters quite pleasing.
"Were you expecting a calamity, Mr. Darcy?"
The gentleman nearly jumped out of his skin, but naturally tried not to show it.
"I am afraid Miss Lucas, that I was unduly influenced by the reaction of others and did not give Miss Mary a fair chance."
The honesty of the response improved Charlotte's already positive impression of the gentleman, and she replied, "Is that not often the way of the world, Sir?"
"Yes, Miss Lucas. I am as guilty of that particular sin as anybody, and perhaps more so than most."
"And yet, you did not carry your prejudice forward against the evidence."
"I hope that I would not, Miss Lucas."
Charlotte was still wondering about the mystery of Lizzy and Mr. Darcy and decided to dig a little bit.
"Mr. Darcy, I must confess, that Mary's musical ability was not always so adequate. She was blessed with industry but not much talent. Her playing six months ago was mechanical and quite dreadful, I am embarrassed to say. I hope you will forgive such an uncharitable statement."
"Of course, Miss Lucas. What changed?"
"Lizzy changed… Elizabeth I mean. She came back from her holiday last summer and started spending much more time with Mary. I believe the two of them both helped each other. Lizzy was always musical but lazy and careless. Mary was precise, but not very musical. They have been practicing together for months and it has helped both."
Darcy nodded, and replied, "I can only say that both sisters perform admirably, Miss Lucas. I would not like to embarrass either of them, so perhaps you might convey my sentiments to them privately?"
Charlotte wondered what this man was all about. She had spoken in more confidence than she ordinarily would with such a recent acquaintance but did not feel that he would take advantage of it. She was starting to feel he was a man to be trusted; but she had no idea how she had come to that realization. Both Mr. Bennet and Charlotte's father, Sir William had good opinions of the gentleman, so perhaps she was joining the list of people in Meryton who liked him… a list that seemed to include everyone but Lizzy.
After a song by Mary, and a short duet by both sisters, Lydia danced lightly up to the pianoforte and demanded Mary play some dancing music. Mary agreed quite reluctantly. Elizabeth was never quite certain if Mary truly disliked the music and the objection was real, or if the sisters had made their roles in their little play so fixed that nobody could deviate.
Within minutes, the carpets were rolled up and dance partners were being solicited. The dance was much more informal than it would be at a ball or assembly, so most of the time people were solicited for a single dance instead of the traditional set.
Elizabeth stood and enjoyed Mary's playing for a bit, then decided she would venture to the punch table for some refreshment. She had just begun her journey around the dancers, when Sir William, who had been talking to Mr. Darcy for some minutes about his favorite topic, St. James, as well as houses in town, seemingly felt compelled to perform a gallant deed.
"Miss Eliza, may I suggest Mr. Darcy as a dance partner. I know he generally dislikes the entertainment, but you are both so skilled I cannot imagine either of you denying me the pleasure of seeing you dance."
Somewhat disconcerted by the request, Elizabeth responded, "Sir William, I must beg you not to believe I came here in search of a partner. I have not the least intention of dancing tonight."
"Miss Elizabeth, it would be my honor to step out with you if you are so inclined."
Elizabeth could see that Mr. Darcy had been caught completely by surprise by Sir William, and like her, was trying to make the best of it, which she appreciated. She thought to do the same.
"I thank you, Mr. Darcy, but I am truly not prepared to dance this evening. I do appreciate the offer."
She was not at all certain why she had added that last bit, but it seemed the polite thing to do.
Mr. Darcy bowed very gallantly, and she escaped as quickly as she could.
Darcy was still sitting deep in thought a few minutes later when Miss Bingley sidled up beside him, and asked, "I can imagine your thoughts now, Mr. Darcy."
As usual, he declined to spend much of his effort answering the lady. Long experience had taught him it was best to give very minimalistic answers, since it seemed impossible to talk any sense into her. Darcy had endured more than one conversation with Bingley about his sister, but no true improvement could been seen, and Darcy thought it was not his task to rein her in. She perhaps thought he might offer for her someday, but he had long ago determined nothing could convince him to do so.
"I imagine not."
He hoped rather than believed that would be enough to dissuade her, but that was apparently not to be.
"You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in this manner–in such society; and indeed I am quite of your opinion. I was never more annoyed! The insipidity, and yet the noise–the nothingness, and yet the self-importance of all those people! What would I give to hear your strictures on them!"
Still somewhat distracted by his previous conversation with Miss Elizabeth, he decided to try to solve the problem Miss Bingley posed once and for all.
"To the contrary, Miss Bingley. I was thinking that this has been my most enjoyable evening in Hertfordshire thus far, and quite possibly the best of this last year. I believe I might start having similar gatherings at Pemberley in future."
The look on her face was priceless… absolutely priceless.