With some time before the gloom and doom certain to accompany her fourth set, Elizabeth decided a visit to the necessary was required. She thought if worse came to worse she could go and find Mr. Hurst's rope and kill herself before the set commenced, but a few minutes alone with her thoughts would not be amiss. Of course, a trip to the necessary meant that she would in fact have a few minutes with the chattering of every female in the house, but that was just about the same thing as being alone.
She rounded a corner just outside the ballroom and was vexed to see both Lydia and Kitty acting in a most indecorous manner, nearly running across the space. Nobody else was in the room, so she wondered at how little her heartfelt lessons in Meryton had affected them and wondered if she would have to resort to a good thrashing.
They came skidding to a halt in front of her, and before she could say anything, Lydia hissed in a very agitated voice, "Thank goodness you are here, Lizzy. You must come! Right now! It is an emergency."
The fear in her voice and the paleness of Kitty's countenance threw all thoughts of chastisement from her mind, and she asked, "What is wrong, Sisters?"
"May I be of assistance, Ladies?"
Lydia and Kitty nearly jumped out of their skins at being discovered, but Elizabeth calmly replied, "Lina, I am glad you are here. My sisters indicate that there is some emergency."
Caroline Bingley had both seen and experienced heart-stopping fear before and could readily recognize the symptoms. The two youngest were clearly distressed by what they had seen, but they were also distrustful of her, understandably enough.
She quickly replied, "Miss Lydia. Miss Catherine. Please calm yourselves. Remember we are ladies and must act the part. Have no fear. Nothing you say shall ever leave this small circle, is that not right, Liza."
Elizabeth quickly added, "You can trust Lina, Lydia. Tell us the problem."
Shaking her head, Lydia asked, "Lina?"
"Not now, Lydia. The 'Emergency'?"
Reminded of why they were making all the fuss in the first place, Lydia said, "It is Maria Lucas. She is alone with Lieutenant Willoughby in the hall, out of sight. We just saw her by chance."
With her heart pounding and her hand flexing for the long‑lost walking stick, Elizabeth said, "Show me!"
Lina, not to be outdone, said, "Liza, this is my home. Will you allow me deal with the cretin?"
Elizabeth's blood was boiling, and the veins were sticking out on her neck, so she barely heard the lady. Lina grabbed her arm, and hissed, "Liza! This must be done quietly if we wish any hope of salvaging Miss Maria's reputation. Please, allow me."
Elizabeth nodded, but whispered, "You can try the nice way, Lina. If that is ineffective, I will try the other."
Nodding, all four ladies followed Lydia and Kitty back around the corner to the hidden hallway.
They found the erstwhile couple a good two dozen yards from the ballroom. The so-called gentleman had one hand directly on Maria's waist, the other on the back of her neck, and was talking quietly with their faces and bodies only a few inches apart. Elizabeth was just about to walk up and deal with the scoundrel, when she saw Lina pass her, moving quickly but so smoothly she could have been a duck paddling across a still pond.
Caroline Bingley walked up to the pair, and said, "Lieutenant Willoughby, what is the meaning of this?"
The two jumped apart, with Maria showing acute embarrassment, and Willoughby simply smirking.
"We were just becoming acquainted, Miss Bingley. No harm was done."
Maria was staring at the ground, and the insufferable Mr. Willoughby just stood up straighter, practically laughing at the ladies. He saw no gentlemen, so had no worries about his safety.
Surprisingly, the red‑head walked straight up to him, and then extending the palm of her hand, she poked him in the chest… hard.
Very quietly, only loud enough for Liza to hear since the two youngest sisters had dragged the hapless Miss Maria a half‑dozen yards down the hall, Miss Bingley stood up to her full and considerable height and said, "May I show you something that will be of great interest to you, Lieutenant Willoughby?"
Confused by her strong stance combined with her soft words, and the fact that her punch in the chest had hurt, he stepped back, bowed, and said, "Of course, Miss Bingley. I am at your disposal."
The smirk that accompanied the remark made Elizabeth want to take his own sword from him and chop his head off, but Lina shook her head as if she could read her thoughts.
Lina reached into her reticule and pulled out a small wad of banknotes. It reminded Elizabeth of her own £137 that she had on her person right at that moment, as she had every moment that she spent outside of Longbourn since Ramsgate. Miss Bingley was not carrying quite so much, but it was more than a few pounds, and Elizabeth wondered idly why Lina carried so much and if she always did so.
Quite calmly, Lina peeled off two notes, held them up, and rubbed them together.
Elizabeth could see that the Lieutenant was expecting a bribe and eyed the notes hungrily.
Miss Bingley said, "Lieutenant, what do you suppose this is?"
"I suspect it is what you think you can get away with to buy my silence. Double it and we have a bargain."
The hated man smirked at the insinuation and held his hand out.
Caroline continued staring at him, and replied, "Close… but I am afraid that is not quite it."
"We seem to be at an impasse then, Miss Bingley."
Caroline, quite calmly replied, "Not quite."
A shadow cast itself across the officer's face, and he said, "Well then, get on with it Woman. What is it?"
Caroline looked at the notes carefully and replied quite calmly.
"This is what it would cost me to ask my largest and most trusted footmen, who has been with my family for two decades, and was a real soldier before that; to drag you out behind the stables and beat you within an inch of your life."
Elizabeth was quite gratified to see the cretin turn pale, and start to sputter, backing away from her friend.
After staring hard at the man until he looked down at the floor, Caroline peeled off two more banknotes, and said, "This is what it would cost for the last inch."
Visibly sweating and looking shaken, the officer looked considerably less sure of himself.
Staring at him further, she peeled off one more note, and added, "This is what it would take to get a man I know of to feed what is left of you to his pigs. Enormous beasts they are, the size of ponies. They eat everything, right down to boots and belt buckles. The sword I would keep as a souvenir."
Elizabeth was quite surprised to see a stain appear on the soldier's trousers and sweat start pouring down off his face.
"Lieutenant… well, former Lieutenant since you are going to desert in the next few minutes; I will not bother my brother in this matter, or any of the other considerable number of gentlemen I know. You are not worth the sullying of a gentleman's reputation, nor the inevitable expense of a legal defense, nor all the tedium of cleaning and sharpening a sword. You and your like are vermin, to be exterminated upon sight."
Caroline put the remainder of the money back in her reticule, calmly folded up the amount she had peeled off before, and said, "In one hour, Mr. Willoughby I will give this to my footman, and I will tell him it applies if he ever sees you again; with the caveat that it applies anywhere I go; here, London, wherever I settle… you understand. I strongly suggest that you be gone from the county within that hour, and the country soon after."
Willoughby took off for a side door running like a frightened bunny, and Elizabeth, unable to hold her emotions grabbed Caroline in a hug and did not let go. She dearly hoped the other girls could not tell how much Lina was shaking like a leaf, and she hung on until her friend got her equilibrium back, which took quite some time.
"Thank you, Lina. That was the bravest thing I have ever seen."
Lina just asked, "Then why am I shaking?"
"People think bravery is lack of fear. That is wrong. Bravery is being frightened to death and doing the right thing anyway. Lack of fear is just stupidity. There is no courage without fear."
"Thank you, Liza. You know of course that I made the whole thing up?"
Elizabeth just laughed, gave her friend one more pat on the back and said, "The pigs are real… or at least, I think they are."
They then walked over to the three youngest ladies huddling in the corner, and Miss Bingley once again stood up to her most frightening height, and said, "Miss Lydia, Miss Catherine… well done… very well done! Miss Maria, you are coming with me. We will be having a talk. Prepare yourself. It may take some time."
Elizabeth wondered at the wisdom of such a move but looking at Lina she saw the wink that indicated the talk would be just frightening enough to be effective and left her friend to it.
"Kitty, I will need you to tell Lady Lucas that Miss Bingley has asked Maria to examine some things in her rooms, and she might be gone for a while."
"Yes, Lizzy."
"It goes without saying that no word of this incident will ever be spoken to anybody."
"Or course no!"
"We should return."