Chapter 3.

"It can't be helped."

—

'I AM ME.'

"Fuck…"

In the bathroom mirror, my eyes met another version of me. My chest rose and fell shakily in an attempt to subside the swirling emotions and growing anxiety. My arms grasped the basin as they trembled from the accumulation of stress and cold air that had assaulted them.

Even as I did so, I let my expression remain neutral. I took note of the person's appearance in the mirror as we stared at each other. Her hair was a disorganized mess, black strands running wild. Cold, dead, crimson eyes bore into my own. The slight disgust in them wasn't hidden from me…

I almost indulged in my idiotic thinking of breaking the reflection. It was a mockery, a facade that destroyed what few ties I had before my death. The only thing I had left was my memories and thoughts, and even then, there was a chance of losing them at a moment's notice.

"Now, isn't that funny." It was hilarious in a sick way.

Asking for a new body was foolish, even if it fixed my vision.

Running my hands through my hair, I gently dragged my fingers through as many locks as possible in an attempt to fix it all in place. The reflection copied me down to the most minor of movements. The result wasn't perfect, but it was the best I could do with limited expertise.

In and out. I took slow, deep breaths to calm myself down. As my anxiety dwindled, I deemed myself ready and splashed cold water (much to my distaste) against my face to wake myself up more before grabbing a nearby towel to finally rid myself of that filth. As I finally exited the bathroom, the first thing that caught my attention was the sun peering through my window, unlike earlier. How long had I been inside?

I could only whisper a silent curse in response.

The second thing that caught my attention was the outfit from the「Imperial Capital Holy Grail War]— it was still there. I had thought it was a stress-induced hallucination, but it was real.

It was here.

'Bloody hell.' I thought to myself, hesitantly reaching out to touch the clothing. My fingers lightly brushed against the fabric, its surface, a mixture of both familiar and alien. After a few more moments of applying pressure to it and verifying that it wasn't some supernatural parasite (to my knowledge), I examined it more thoroughly.

The outfit consisted of a black button-up military tunic that pulsated with a crimson hue whenever light encountered it. A black overcoat accompanied it, an additional layer made to protect the user from harsh weather and damage. The pair of pants and boots complimented the outfit, along with a pair of white gloves, which contrasted the colors beautifully, while the hat, adorned with the usual medallion that every Nobunaga form had, sat to the side.

Looking at it this close and even touching it was almost unbelievable.

Snapping from my stupor, I took note of the situation more clearly. My clothes wouldn't be ready for a while. And as much as I'd love to sit around, procrastinating wasn't much of a viable option for me. I needed to do so much more. Lazing around wouldn't help in my current circumstance. Money will become an issue sooner or later, and I needed to gather more experience fast.

Letting out a short sigh, I slowly adorned the outfit, with the hat being last. Surprisingly, it felt light and cool, despite outer appearances. Fascinating. Still, something felt different.

Instinctively pouring forth my mana, the comforting sight of a matchlock rifle materialized within my hands. Admiring the design, it didn't seem any different from usual. It did, however, appear more polished and sleek, alongside feeling a tad lighter.

Interesting.

Was this a consequence of the outfit or the dream? The more I thought about it, the more my head ached.

What I saw was both a nightmare and a fact, but I could train and prepare for another confrontation. But I could do nothing but cling to that small and fragile ideal, or else I'd lose myself to madness.

I wanted to live. No, I will live.

'You can do this.' I coached myself, delivering a quick slap to my face as further encouragement. Unfortunately, I underestimated the strength of a legendary servant's slap, and unprepared, I sent myself flying across the room and into a table. That'll be a headache to pay for…

Note to self: Don't slap yourself again.

Readjusting my gloves, I exhaled – clouds of my breath forming before my eyes. The cold morning air felt soothing against my skin, further calming my nerves and allowing me to focus more. Pressing open the wooden doors, I cautiously entered, sealing my fate.

The guild was calm—an atmosphere completely different from what I expected. I seriously doubted that anyone could muster enough energy to be energetic this early in the morning, but it was still a surprise. On my way to the Quest Board, I encountered familiar and new faces as well. Giving a wave or two to a few, I steadied my attention towards the board.

[HUNT WILD GOBLINS THAT ARE LURKING WITHIN THE FOREST! 165,000 ERIS FOR QUEST COMPLETION]

[HUNT A ONE-HIT BEAR! 650,000 ERIS]

[NEED HELP FINDING LOST CAT! 12,500 ERIS]

[NEED HELP TESTING SPELLS. MAGIC RESISTANCE REQUIRED — 20,000 ERIS]

This was disappointing…? Inadequate? Maybe my expectations were set too high for a small town like this. Though, the quest involving the bear in particular caught my eye. 650,000 Eris reward? With that amount of money, I could live comfortably for a while - but I hesitated from snatching the leaflet immediately… Even with my newfound powers, I couldn't afford to get cocky just yet. With a sigh, I pulled the Goblin quest off the board and made my way toward Luna's booth.

"Good morning, Miss Nobunaga. How may I be of service?"

Despite the slight tiredness in her tone, her voice was a much-needed symphony against the piling stress. With a smile, I handed her the paper. "This, please." Her gentle smile cheered me up further. She was such a sweet woman, even if I couldn't tell her that.

"Alright. Just give me a moment to get everything in order." With that said, she made a quick 180 and left me to my devices. A moment, then another.

Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.

This was insufferable. The conversations in the background seemingly came to a halt once I was left with my own thoughts. How did someone deal with this? How could someone distract themselves from the silence? This silence…

I hastily removed one of my gloves, laying the soft fabric against the wooden desk. Bringing my fingers to my lips, I bit down on my nails—letting my impulses take over. It had been years since I indulged in this, but it just felt right for now. Not too long after, Luna returned to give me the all-clear.

"One last question before I go," I leaned in, "Aren't there usually supposed to be giant toad quests? I'm still new around here, so I thought they were there for novices."

"Well, you would typically need a party filled with decently experienced adventurers. In that regard, they encourage teamwork and allow older members to assist newer ones without stunting their growth. Recently, a certain somebody went off on their own and killed a major breeding zone of this season's lot without bringing much of their meat back." Her smile never faltered once, making me unsure whether she was being polite or just simply patronizing. She was talking about me, wasn't she?

"Oh… Well, that sure is interesting," I replied vaguely. "I'm sure they'll be more mindful of that next time." The conversation faded as awkwardness set in; neither one of us knew what to say next. With an apologetic expression, I put my glove back on and swiftly left.

I barely hear a "stay safe" on my exit.

I stood at the outskirts of the designated location; a filthy cave filled with an unknown amount of goblins. I could simply collapse it in, potentially suffocating them or causing them to starve to death. It would be quick and efficient, however, I doubt I could get experience that way, and I don't know if there are any alternate routes in and out. Furthermore, they could always claw their way out in a desperate attempt at survival.

It would admittedly be a pathetic sight, the potential of having any escapees would also prove to be a hassle if they rebuilt. Simply put, it's not something I want to concern myself with for longer than necessary.

My gunfire would easily attract unwanted attention if I fired recklessly, so it will be used sparingly. My sword, as well, couldn't work at its best either. The inside wasn't properly scouted and from my knowledge, long swords and confined spaces don't mix well.

Giving myself one final look-over, I descended into the darkness.

. . .

This place was repulsive. It was damp and seemingly lifeless, giving the impression it was already deserted at a glance. Rays of light shone through cracks in the ceiling, faintly illuminating the labyrinth ahead of me. The stagnant air was plagued by an overwhelmingly rancid stench, which was the least of my worries. Even with general media recognizing them as fodder, this environment lent itself well to them, and at any moment they could strike. Letting my guard down for even a moment could lead to tremendous consequences.

Stabbed in the back, or dropped on from above. Perhaps even an arrow to the head. Just from walking in here like this, I was making myself a potential target to whatever lurked in the shadows. The very thought of it sent chills down my spine. Slowly, I composed myself, instinctively grabbing hold of the handle of my sword for reassurance. I could do this. I would do this, even if this weapon wasn't suited for it.

I continued my journey into their lair until I came across two separate pathways. They likely lead into different parts of their nest— the terrain was wholly alien to me, and the prospect of getting lost in the snaking cavern was… less than savory.

— . . Tap. . . Tap. . . Tap. . . Tap. . . Tap. . . .

Before I had realized it, a dull sound had enveloped the silence of the chamber—the steady drumming of fingers against the edge of my blazer. Maybe old habits really do die hard. "Mm, I guess I'm just stalling at this point." A shaky breath escapes my lips, and I threaten to scoff at the situation. I mean—with my abilities this...really shouldn't be worth a moment's glance, right? Perhaps I'm overthinking it?

...

The chasm did not respond.

Either decision I made was filled with even more uncertainties. Breathing in that awful air once more, Deciding to travel down the first tunnel, I muffled my footsteps to the best of my skills. Even with my enhanced sight, my night vision wasn't perfect. Engulfed in the pitch black, traversing through the jagged pathways proved a slight challenge and once I got past them, I was forced into cover.

Four of them.

They held crudely maintained weapons: ranging from a short-sword, axes and even a club. They were spread out, covering individual ground in clusters. Summoning the mana to blast them came almost immediately, but I snuffed out that urge swiftly. They seemed to be guarding another passage that delved deeper into this place.

Blasting their brains out would be extremely easy, but I took it slow - sneaking into their blind spots first. Grabbing a stone off the ground, I tossed it to the side as a distraction. That certainly caught their attention. The one closest to it said something I couldn't quite understand before moving forward with his weapon ready.

Time to practice what I've seen far too much…

Stealthily emerging from my hiding place, I snuck behind one of the stragglers, quickly wrapping one arm around its throat and placing a hand over its mouth. I pressed his smaller frame against my body and squeezed harder against his windpipe more and more. He lashed out desperately, clawing at my arm with jagged nails - resulting in a slight hiss of pain escaping my lips once he got a good slash. After a few more seconds of his thrashing, it slowed down and then came to a stop, his body merely going limp in my arms.

Leaving him like this was an ideal solution for me, until I felt something crack under my forearm.

.

.

.

I crushed it. It took me by complete surprise, and I nearly dropped him from instinct alone, but I crushed it. That was NOT like the goddamn games at all. Pushing down those thoughts for now, I dragged him into the darkness.

. . .

I moved onward, selecting another unsuspecting target.

. . . Replicating the process like before; One arm around the neck and a hand pressed against his mouth - but instead of a chokehold, I simply twisted. It didn't take long for him to go limp as well, letting out one muffled gasp of pure agony. I didn't bother to hide his corpse.

The last two huddled together, clearly taking notice of their dwindling numbers. They carried a club and axe respectfully. The one wielding the club seemed to be the easier pick, whilst the axe-user was frantic - glancing into every section of the unknown.

I dashed forward, my fist soon met its skull. I felt only light resistance before a sickening crunch echoed across the chamber, it squirmed, pinned beneath my bleeding knuckles, before all resistance ceased, and it went limp. The sensation of having something so fragile break under my hand felt sickening yet fascinating, but I didn't have much time to dabble on the matter.

The remaining goblin turned toward me; terrified and panicked as it slowly moved away from me. No time for thinking—they could come back with reinforcements at any given moment. I grabbed the fallen club and proceeded forward without hesitation. One good swing gave me the results I desired; the head dislocated from its socket, splattering against the wall like a ripe melon. The rest fell to the floor in an unceremonious heap.

I took a moment to catch my breath. The only sounds that remained were my shaky breathing, the faint dripping of blood from both my knuckles and weapon. The last thing that caught my attention was… the fastening of a bow-string?

An archer?! My eyes widened as I swiftly turned on my heel, barely avoiding the incoming projectile.

A frigid grasp took hold of me, guiding my mind through the flow of mana - bringing my Matchlock rifle to life once more. On instinct, I held it tightly, the clicking of the chamber, the rough texture of the grip, all so familiar to me, as if it had been by my side for an eternity. Embers flickered in the shade as I fired off a round, lighting fire to the tunnel in front of me.

BANG!

Through the blotches of crimson that brightened the passage, I gained sight upon my attacker, his silhouette faltering told me that I hit true. I could make out the movements of its body plummeting towards the rock below. What happened next, however, was something I didn't expect. The light didn't falter in the slightest, ricocheting around for a bit longer until it passed me and dissipated into motes of mana.

Feeling something comparable to a bug bite, I looked down, confused. ". . . What?" Only to nearly blank out upon seeing the smoldering hole in my left pant leg. The idea was so absurd, ridiculous even. I shot myself.

It should have been impossible. My eyes had to be playing games on me - but the sensation was there. It was real. It hit me. My own power hit me.

"Goddammit…" The words came out immediately, barely filtered through the silent dread I held at the situation. I survived due to luck. LUCK. If I had been a little slower, or didn't pay attention, I would be nothing more than a corpse due to a damn arrow. The word was nothing than pitiful relief.

I had to keep focus. I needed to. The fear that gripped my chest refused to let go until It deemed I was safe.

My gaze shifted downwards, following the trail of blood as it trickled down deeper into the labyrinth, leading the way. Venturing further, my footsteps echoed louder and louder as I continued. Leaving the carcass behind me, my body tensed as I heard more noises ahead: but unlike the guttural, harsh growls of the previous goblins, these were whispers, light, almost delicate.

The cave walls began to curve outward more and more until finally opening up to wide-open space. I had arrived at the center of the goblin nest, the main area where they would presumably dwell—as far as entrances went, it was fairly simple. A few burning torches to illuminate the cracked cave walls, and a couple of skeletons with rotting clothing lay on either side; unlucky humans who came before me. A warning to the adventurous placed there by the goblins, no doubt.

.

.

.

The ground shook beneath me, nearly causing me to trip over. This time, there were no cries of pain or panicked screams; only an eerie silence followed by the murky sounds of heavy footsteps. That is…until two more figures came rushing towards me. They were both wielding clubs and shields. With each step closer they took, though, I could tell these weren't your average goblins: they were armored, bigger, and wearing full leather plating, as well as helmets decorated with sharp horns protruding outwards like some kind of ram's antlers. What in the fuck?

The sound of my matchlock firing must've prompted the nest to send their elite, it seemed.

The second one stopped in front of me as he lifted his club above his shoulder in a threatening manner. The look in those black eyes sent a shiver down my spine – something primal within him said that if he so wanted to, he could easily take my life right then and there. For a moment, we stood in a silent standoff. But that wouldn't do for me. I needed to kill, and fast.

I lunged forward, trying desperately to gain any advantage possible.

He seemed surprised—perhaps just stunned enough—and backed off after taking another stride back. His face quickly returned to its emotionless, almost dead state as he surveyed my movements with interest. He knew exactly what I was doing—how much I struggled yet still had confidence. He looked bored as he swung his weapon again, letting the air rustle past his helmet. If only there was an opening…

I rushed in once more, stumbling on the uneven floor. I mustered up every ounce of strength I had left before ducking under a vicious swing, bringing myself behind his guard. Before I could react properly, however, he quickly stepped backwards. I didn't have time to recover; swinging around, my hands grabbed hold of his shield. My fingers fumbled against the cold metal as they found purchase, wrapping around it and yanking upwards. It collided with its owner's chin with force, sending him reeling backwards; losing grip and falling onto the ground with me atop it. I prepared to strike blow after blow against the opening in his helmet, but changed priorities quickly once I noticed the first one's attempt at an attack in the corner of my eye.

Holding my arms to my chest, I forced them to absorb the brunt of the onslaught—a torrent of pain crackled through my nerves—feeling muscle rive and bones shatter. Ripped from the ground by the impact's speed and leverage, I collided with the stone wall, gasping for air through battered lungs.

My right arm sustained the more grievous injuries of the two—the forearm wilting to the torrent of pressure—bone had pierced the flesh, ejecting itself from the base of my arm as my fingers splintered, contorting at impossible angles and reducing them to a hazy mess of gore. The resulting fountain of blood splattered across my face, blinding my senses with the overwhelmingly pungent taste of iron.

The pain… Oh, the fucking pain.

I could barely discern the approaching figure of the bastard who did this to me through bloodied eyelids. Unlike his comrade who maintained a look that demanded fear, this prick had a smug smile as if he achieved something great.

He stepped closer and closer, eventually surpassing the fallen form of his brethren.

[Self-Replenishment (MANA)]

"Your form is sloppy. Do better."

HER VOICE.

A searing heat enveloped my body with every word from her silky smooth voice, before coming to an immediate stop around my arm. The broken bones gradually mended back into place, then blood vessels and muscles and other things I couldn't quite name. Pale skin gradually took shape, slightly discolored from what I was accustomed to, yet imperfect and somewhat unresponsive to my commands. The sight of everything changing so drastically wasn't for the faint of heart, and nothing less than shocking for me. It was sickening, beautiful and much more.

Stomp. . . Stomp. . . Stop.

The Goblin finally stopped. He looked happy with his work - proud, even. He slowly raised his club up, grinning like a child given a new toy. I couldn't see his eyes behind his helmet, but I could imagine the gleam in them. I imagined it well.

I took a deep breath and pushed myself up with my good hand, wincing as I did so. My head throbbed as I tried to clear the fog from my vision. I could feel the warmth of blood dripping down my cheek as I wiped it away with the back of my hand. As I looked up, I saw the Goblin staring at me, seemingly curious about what I was doing.

Hacking up blood, I struggled to my feet, my body trembling with every motion. I reached for my sword, lying dormant in its sheath. With a sluggish flick of my wrist, the blade came free with a satisfying 'thunk' sound. It became my leverage, barely keeping me upright through shaky hands and whatever was healing me.

Doing such simple tasks sent sharp pains throughout my body. Clenching my teeth together, I stood my ground. Limping towards him wasn't the smartest decision, since I doubted my current strength could contest against his own. Wait…

He watched me with caution. Wait…

I felt the air thicken around me as he slowly approached, the cave's light dimming slightly as if someone were pulling a curtain over the sun. I kept my gaze fixed on the Goblin as he monitored me; I could hear his breathing grow heavy and ragged with each nearing step.

Once he was in range, he raised his weapon to strike against me. . . Then swung downwards, prompting me to move from my spot. Pushing my body to get to this point brought upon a great deal of agony, but the result matched the pain. Practically floating as I moved to the side. Each footstep shot a great deal of soreness through my limbs.

I brought my weapon up high, pointing directly at the Goblin's head. It was only when I made contact with his skull that I noticed how fast I had been moving, too fast to react properly. My arm trembled under the strain of holding the weight of the sword for so long, nearly slipping from my fingers from the impact alone. The Goblin's metal helmet didn't give in like I wanted, but it did surprise and send him staggering back. I didn't hesitate to continue, edging myself closer to deliver another blow to his head, disorienting him further.

I retracted my arm, bringing it up again in an upward arc. This time, I aimed for his neck.

"..."

And there it went.

The goblin's eyes widened in surprise, perhaps because he hadn't expected such a thing to happen so easily. His body shook violently as he fell to his knees, clutching at his throat desperately. Blood poured from his mouth, staining his armor red as he struggled to breathe.

I stood there, looking down at him as he gasped for air through his torn windpipe, coughing up blood onto the stone floor. He looked up at me, pleading with his eyes as he grasped at his own neck, trying to stem the flow of blood which now stained his hands crimson. I could see the terror in those eyes, the fear of death evident on his filthy face.

It happened in no less than an instant, my opponent could hardly react.

"This bastard…." I didn't hide the amount of disdain I felt. Even with the sharp pains, I wanted nothing more than to just wail on his dead body to achieve that feeling once again, stabbing into various parts in an attempt to find a reaction, to do it all again to see that FEAR fester in his eyes again. . .

Lying down and just closing my eyes was an alluring option but I knew I probably wouldn't open my eyes again. Turning back was also tempting, but why would I? I felt like I was so close to greatness. Even if this hellhole was vast, it wasn't endless. Just a bit more…

. . . After a couple of moments of contemplating my choices; a groan caught my attention. Turning to the side, I could see the earlier one twitching ever so slightly. To be expected. I hit his head, right…? Whatever the case may be, I still had a job to do - even if I was starting to regret it more and more.

Limping over to his dormant figure, I planted myself at his side. It took my shaky hands a bit to angle the tip of my sword properly at his neck, but once it was in position, I pierced through his flesh without resistance. Something akin to surprise arose from his lips, his body acting on a fight-or-flight response. Fortunately, it stopped rather quickly, leaving me with my thoughts and silence once more.

Silence…

The blood on my blade was my only solace.

[Self-Replenishment (MANA) is sustaining your vessel]

[Usage of mana-based skills is unadvisable]

[AN: Hey guys. I'm, unfortunately enough, not dead in a ditch anywhere. I know it's been a very, very long time since I last updated, but here it is… finally. It took me a while to get what I wanted with this chapter since I could have went down plenty of routes but I wanted to keep it… somewhat grounded? I don't know, really. I just didn't want to copy any ideas people have already used when it came to this. Also, the fucking prices in Konosuba are stupid. I hate it. I need to adjust them accordingly in the future... someday.

The next chapter or two, I already have a solid Idea on where I wanna go with it. Of course, Chapter 4 will be a slight continuation and maybe a short time skip to further things. Maybe... Though, I wish to credit my friends: AWZ, SpeedCar, Ren-Ren, Moki, Myo, Margrave and Crimson who stopped me from procrastinating for another 4 months!]